Kaoru POV

The band on stage played great music while the club was full with hot guys and alcohol , pretty much everything I want out of life. I jumped and danced and screamed out load, a lot of guys gave me their cards and numbers and I kept the them for later if I ever get bored. "hello sexy! " the main singer of the band said pointing to me "what's your name?" he asked " Kaoru " I answered, he held the mike again and said "our next song is for Kaoru over here , put your hands up everyone" he screamed and started singing , I was really extremely happy! A song specially for me! wow that was great. I looked beside me to see Hikaru , crossing his arms and looking mad.

I ignored my pissed off brother and tried to hide from him so I walked between people to another spot. The music was so cool that I couldn't stop my body from moving with it.

Suddenly two strong arms found their way around my west "huh!" I got scared and looked up "hey sweetheart " an older creepy man "how about we spend the night together ha?" he smirked to me "fuck off !" I tried to move his arms but he only brought me closer to him ,I could feel his boner on me "HE SAID FUCK OFF YOU BASTARD" I heard Hikaru and saw a chair flying to that man's face making him letting go of me , I stood behind Hikaru, when that man stood back up and blew a punched back to my brother. The fight was about to start when the security guys interfered and stopped them "let's leave " Hikaru pulled my arm and we left the club and ran away in the cold dark streets .

"oh my god Hikaru that was awesome!" I said to him in excitement!

"well , you wanna dress like this and go to places like that ,you must be ready to meet up with assholes " he looked frustrated and didn't look at me

"so this is the part where you get mad at me until I apologize and say thank you for saving my ass?" I ironically said

"I am not mad " he said

"yeah right " I rolled my eyes. we walked beside creepy homeless who gave me strange looks "Hikaru..maybe it's better to call our driver "

"hell no , you wanted to mess around didn't you? You can't quit before the game is over " he said smirking to himself. That drove me mad , just because I don't have my wallet or my cell phone with me this doesn't give him the right to tell me where I should stop or what I should do "are you speaking for real ,Hikaru?" I asked madly

"oh yeah, I am dead serious " he stopped walking and looked me in the eye

"okay then , I'll go back to the club and ask someone to give me a ride" I said to him and turned my back to him.

"what! Hey stop ! you are seriously out of your mind you know!" he followed me and held my arm. I stopped and looked away " Hikaru, are you worried about me or just jealous and don't want anyone to touch me?" I asked out of nowhere, not knowing why actually. He was about to say something but then stopped and took a deep breath "you don't know anything" he said to me and I couldn't but to notice that I somehow have hurt him. We didn't say anything for awhile until he noticed that I was shivering and took off his jacket "here" he put it around my shoulders "you know ..about what you said later on.." he said, I knelt down and rest my head on his shoulder as he spoke while he rest his arm around me. it made me feel warmer "yeah?" I asked "I do get jealous sometimes and I do get worried about you as much" his answer made my heart beat faster , I looked straightly to his eyes and smiled " Hikaru.." I moved his hair aside "have I ever told you of how glad am I to have you by my side.." I said "hey , stop that.." he smiled and looked away " if we weren't brothers I am sure I would have fallen in love with you " I meant what I said. I couldn't but to notice the strange look he gave me "umm well I am afraid that if I don't find a guy like you Hikaru then this place in my heart will always be empty.." I held his arms tightly, didn't want him to go away. He brushed his fingers to my hair as he checked his phone "my phone is dead" my brother said. I sighed and wore his jacket properly, buttoned it too "well let's see..i don't really know in what part of the city are we" he stood up and looked around "come on , let's go to a restaurant or somewhere warm ..we can borrow a phone" I crossed my arms to warm myself , wearing shorts wasn't a good idea "yeah " he brought me closer to his body and I felt warmed , damn Hikaru makes me feel good , he knows exactly how and when I need him.

We walked a street or two until we noticed pizza hut "oh boy , this is the sexiest scene ever " Hikaru said looking at the restaurant "yeah! I am starving " we ran and entered it immediately.

Hikaru POV

We sat around the table and ordered everything on the list. Kaoru sat in front of me instead of beside me, he rest his head on the table and looked me in the eye for some seconds then smiled and stroked my cheek "I don't like my face but I love yours " what he just said made me feel weird again , every look he gives me and every touch he leaves on my skin makes me shiver for more. I sighed , his mind doesn't remember the past but his soul surly does.

After some minutes the waitress brought our food to the table "look who's here today!" the waitress said and I couldn't mess that voice , I looked up at her and sighed "hello Haruhi " I know troubles were coming again "hey sweetheart , how are you feeling ? I didn't have time to call you since I got this new job as you can see" she said smiling to me "I am fine I guess .." I said and looked at my brother who was coldly looking at Haruhi without saying a thing, she looked at him "why are you looking at me like that Kaoru?" she put her hand on her west "I'll make you disappear one day" he said to her and smiled "oh really? When did you start having a sense of humor?" she rolled her eyes to him "oh! Stop it both of you, Haruhi please leave , I'll call you later " I said to her "okay whatever that please you baby" she said but took a seat beside me and pushed her lips to mine in a very strong kiss. "OHH!" suddenly she screamed and separated from me. She was wet, Kaoru has splashed his drink on her hair"DAMN YOU KAROU!" she stood up and pushed him aside " YOU ARE SUCH A FAGGOT WHO'S IN LOVE WITH HIS OWN BROTHER! YOU ARE A TOTAL RETARDED " she screamed to my brother and I got terrified at what she just said , this is bad ! this is so bad ! he shouldn't remember. Kaoru stood up looked at me surprisingly then at Haruhi , he was shocked at what she has said to him. "Kao.." I tried to say something but he ran out of the restaurant. I pushed her aside "I don't wanna see your face again , do you understand? Never " I said to Haruhi and left the restaurant.

"HEY KAORU , WAIT!" I shouted to him , I could see him walking on the sidewalk , I ran after him. he was looking at the floor crossing his hands "Hikaru just leave me alone.." his voice is shaking I could know he is sobbing calmly. "listen forget about her and all the bullshit she said , it doesn't mean a thing " I tried to make it easier to him. I hoped that he wouldn't connect things together "stop it please.. " he said almost whispering , he raised his hand to a taxi "I just wanna go home , right now " he said and I opened the backseat door and followed him inside. I gave the driver our house location and took a deep breath. Kaoru was looking at the window , I didn't know what to do I just hated to see him sad again, it killed me.

We arrived to our house and I asked one of our drivers to pay for the taxi. The maids welcomed us and said that our parents are worried because we have ran out of the hospital "will you call mom and tell her we're home" I asked one of the maids "sure sir " she said and left. I looked at Kaoru who was looking at the furniture strangely as if he didn't recognize the place, I put my hand on his shoulder and he got surprised "are you alright dear?" I asked him "eh yeah..Hikaru take me to my room" he held my arm tightly with both of his hands "Kaoru if you don't feel alright we can go back to the hospital " I said , he left his shoulders up refusing what I just suggested "okay , let's go.." we walked a long corridor after taking the elevator to the third floor of our mansion. Taking him to his room is dangerous , I don't want him to remember how he suffered in that place , I don't want him to see that damn corner of the room. I wish he never remember a thing.

Instead of that I took him to my room, I didn't sleep in it since I came back to Japan. "here we are " I opened it, we took our shoes off as I turned the fireplace on "it's freezing here " I shivered. Kaoru was looking around strangely and then looked to me sadly I felt my heart sinking in my chest "what's wrong?" I asked worriedly. He walked to the bed and went under the covers "Kao.." he sniffed and hid his face on the pillow, I sat next to him on the covers and hugged his back "it's just..I don't feel belonging to anywhere, I am lost..my memories are mixed up ..do you know how does it feel not to belong to your own home? *sniff* it makes me a stranger to you and to everything in here…everybody knows me but I can't remember them or their faces. I don't remember how my room looked like. There's only a blank and I hate it Hikaru, I hate that so much .." he flipped and wrapped his arms around me. the coldness that is surrounding him is too hard to be warmed up. Inside of him is an ocean of loneliness and I am just a small boat to keep him company, I didn't know what to do. After awhile he moved his tears away and took a deep breath "Feeling better?" I asked " yeah ..get under the covers with me " I did that "Kaoru.." I whispered to him, moved my arm under his shoulders and brought him closer "you belong with me, Kaoru" his eyes were glowing from tears and the light that was coming from the fireplace , he looked so beautiful. I raised his chine and pressed my lips to his lips, passionately and lovingly. When the kiss was over his eyes were giving me a very strange look as he bit on his lower lip "we shouldn't do that..it's taboo" he said "huh? What are you saying Kaoru, nobody actually cares about that!" I got frustrated, I don't like to be rejected or pushed away "..I think I do care.." he said in a serious tone"..Jesus. I don't want to be with you in that way Hikaru! I want to meet with other people and be in different relationships..you know that already right? Don't kiss me like that again! Specially if you are only searching for fun! I am not blind I saw what's happening between you and Haruhi! She even called you baby so don't kid with me like that again " why do I feel hurt? The sharpness of his words wasn't what I expected to hear.

I looked straightly to his eyes , after everything that happened to us he says such things , wasn't he the one who first fall for me before "well that's not what you would say when your life was a living hell" I smiled ironically "what are you talking about, Hikaru?" , "it is nothing that matters to you anyways , good night Kao " I left the room.