Chapter 10: Appreciation

Owaru would never forget the day they put Douku's body into the mist ground in front of him. All he could do by that time was looking downward with an unlimited emptiness inside his gaze. Everyone was hurt. everyone was bearing the painful feeling in his or her heart, and till now they still carried it. Like him. Carried the big name of 'Imonoyama'... It was not a bless.. It was a curse... As he forgot Nokoru's birthday, he had no chance to give his present to him. He was lost in time and space by that time. He discontinued his lessons, and returned to Japan. He joined the military forces lessons, which was totally against his will... From that moment, he swore, he would be the strongest member in the family... And the most perfect one. For his family... Somehow, in someway.. All the Imonoyamas understood - on the day Douku died - that sooner later they would end in the same way as their beloved brother. Imonoyamas would love others with their soul, but they were forbidden to accept love... He was never closed to Nokoru or anyone else in the family anymore since then. It was the best for them if all the Imonoyamas never gathered together in the same space or place. And here he was... Waiting again... And how he hated it. It just brought him to his memory, when he had to wait for something back in the airport, and found himself facing the dead body of his brother. Somehow, right on that moment, he didn't see it was Douku there... It was him. or perhaps... it would be him... So now he was going to make sure that it would not happen again...

His reflection of the past was gone as a person approached them in hurried. It was obvious he was running all the way to get here.. He lost his breath, and needed some time to catch up with his normal pulse again. After he felt enough strong to raise his voice, the black-hared man gazed at Suoh. His silver-eyes seemed to contain so many questions, questions that he realized couldn't be asked in the same time... and perhaps question that had no answer at all.

'Takamura-senpai, I. I'm sorry..' Akira paused, seemed confused how to start. 'I've heard the news. but I was not sure what'd happened.' Akira looked at the closed operation door. 'Is he still there?'

No answer. Suoh just nodded his head.

'I heard that Nokoru-sama was being taken to the hospital, and he was in a bad condition. I called the Imonoyama mansion this morning to reschedule my return, but they said Nokoru-sama...' Akira stopped there. He was frowned to see Suoh's reaction. Suoh was very distressed.. Never before he saw his colleague acting like that. The strong, independent, matured Takamura heir. 'Takamura-senpai.. Are you alright?'

Suoh couldn't bear to hold his tears anymore. His tears blurred his sight.. Tears that he couldn't hide anymore.. He grabbed the younger man's body, and dipped his head onto one of Akira's shoulders.. There he burst into tears.. For quite a long time.. quite a long time...

Akira didn't say anything. He knew it was best not to say anything by this moment. Takamura-senpai needed a shoulder to cry on... Not questions... So he would stand there, and wait... Until his tears could wipe away at least a bit of sadness from his heart... After all, that was what a friend for...
Waited and listened... To his surprised, he didn't notice the tall man who was standing nearby to them besides the door. He looked like exactly the same of Nokoru, if there was no difference in height. Blonde hair and a pair of sapphire eyes... Yes... And of course... Full of loneliness... Realizing the handsome man returned his glare, Akira felt his cheeks blushed.

After sometime, Suoh could control his emotion again. He stepped back, and wiped his tears away. 'I'm sorry, Ijyuin.. I- I just need someone to.'

'Takamura-senpai.. It's alright.. I understand..' Akira cut his words. 'By the way, who is he?' He whispered to Suoh's ears.

Suoh became conscious with Owaru's presence. It was so impolite of him not to introduce such an important person to Akira. He took Akira closer to Owaru's stand and started to introduce the man. 'My apology not to introduce you each other.. Owaru-sama, this is...' Before he could finish, Owaru nodded and continued his words.

'Ijyuin Akira-san, the most trustable Treasurer of Clamp School. I've heard a lot about you from Nokoru-san, and I appreciated your hard work. If only my company had people like you and Takamura-san, I believe they will have more improvement than the present.' Douku bowed his body as a respect to Akira.

Awkwardly, Akira returned his bow. In his heart, he was damn surprised to discover who the man really was. Everybody knew that only few people who had the chance to meet the Imonoyamas. And as Suoh had thought before, he definitely the one who was so lucky enough to meet other Imonoyamas besides Nokoru. 'I-I am very sorry I didn't know who you are.' Nervously he replied.

'It's fine. Few people knew me... I just hate to appear in public if it is not necessary.' He explained.

Akira turned his sight to Suoh once again. Actually, he was unsure to ask the question, but his curious feeling inside him forced him to find out the answer. 'Takamura-senpai.. I'm sorry, but what happened to Nokoru-sama actually?'

Suoh looked at Owaru's eyes unsure whether he could tell the actual event to Akira. for himself didn't know what happened actually.

Owaru understood his gaze. Facing the confused black-hared man, Owaru started the story. About everything, about the death of the first son of Imonoyama family, about what happened to each member of the family, including himself, about their manners to each other after the murder.. Till how they got fighting couple of days before... It was a long story.. It seemed it would never end. But Owaru didn't stop... The memory returned so fast and continuously... He couldn't stop telling them what had happened to Nokoru.. And he couldn't stop his... Tears...

The two loyal friends of Nokoru just stood there, listening words by words... Words that they disbelieved. After all these times, they never thought those things would happen to their Nokoru-sama. For he never showed them his feelings.. And in fact, he hid it very well... Behind his silly actions. Behind his angelic smile. The fact was totally different! When the story was finished, nobody said a word. Silence. Akira and Suoh were speechless. Owaru wiped his tears, and moved away from them. He couldn't stand it anymore. He had to go... He didn't want to wait anymore. It was too painful... Nobody stopped him from leaving. They could just see his gone without any sympathy words...

It was Akira who broke the silence after Owaru had fled away. 'Takamura-senpai. I - I can't believe all of these happened to Nokoru- sama.. How- how...' He paused, didn't know the perfect word to describe his feeling by that time. He was shocked.

'Neither do I, Ijyuin.' Suoh replied. Never in his life he could imagine what the life of an Imonoyama looked like. All these times, he thought Nokoru was always happy. Being an Imonoyama, so many people adored him. But the fact was.. so painful... It was so painful that he could feel the same...
No... Not the same. It was more... more... more... painful... In his life, he only wished for his 'One' to be happy. To see his 'One' smiling, or laughing, then he would understood that his life worth living. But it was not like that...

It was not him who made Nokoru - his 'One' - happy... It was the other way around! It was his 'One' who made him happy... With his smile. With his cheerfulness. With his attention. And him... Only made the situation worse... Demanding Nokoru to do his responsibilities, his unnecessary responsibilities, more than to enjoy his life.

'Ijyuin.. What have I done..' Suoh regretted all. But, did he still have a chance to fix everything?

Owaru managed to find a little chapel in the hospital. He entered the room, and carefully closed the door behind him. It was so quite and cold. The chapel was empty.. Nobody sat in there, saying prayers. Of course. it was late after midnight... He locked the door, and found himself seated on the last row of the chairs. chairs that facing the big cross hung on the white wall far before him. He bowed his head deeply and started his prayer.. Thing that he had never done it again after these years... After these years, he had lost his faith... But now he would try anything... Anything to bring his Nokoru back to him... Even he had to replace his life with his, he would do it for sure. Reaching his pocket on his overcoat, his fingers searched for something he kept cautiously in it day by day. He never left without it in his pocket... He found it... The star... He hold it for sometime.. He remembered how he wanted to give it to Nokoru... Before all of these happened... But was it too late already now?

Time... That was the only thing he didn't have... No... Not 'have'... But 'appreciate'... He didn't appreciate the precious time... He just wasted it. All of them did. By the time he realized it was gone, there was nothing he could do. He had no chance to say how he loved him, how he adored him...
How he appreciated all the time he spent with him... Again, Owaru was in tears... Time.

Appreciate it - while you still can..

To be continued -