Love & Truth

10. The Hope, The Despair

(Sasuke's POV)

I returned from the Hokage tower around noon.

By the time I finally got to the mansion, the confirmed revelation finally sunk in. As it did I recalled a conversation I had with Naruto in our dreams when he was returning from Suna. [That was in chapter 5]

„Sasuke... Would you really give up you goal of reviving your clan because of me?"

„Why are you asking this now, of all times?"

„It's been on my mind for a very long time."

„Dobe... I would never give you up, remember that. If there was some possibility to stay with you and revive the clan that would be fine, but I would never stoop so low as to go and sleep with some random woman because of it. I love you too much, you know?"

„I love you too... But what if they oppose it?"

„Who are they?"

„They, everyone, the village, the council... They will want you to carry on with the bloodline, would you succumb to their advances?"

„Dobe... Why is it so important now?"

„I... I..."

„Dobe..."

„There is a really small possibility that... I might get... pregnant... also..."

„Did you hit your head? Men can't get pregnant."

„Gaara is!"

„What!"

„I said, that Gaara is, as in is pregnant."

„How is that even possible?"

„He said it was Shukaku's work, Gaara took it as a payment for him, living in his body."

„That means... that Kyuubi would be able to make it possible too? But you're controlling her powers now, and I doubt that you'd know how to do it."

„There is no need to."

„Huh?"

„According to what Gaara said, I am quite positive that it was the gift, Kyuubi was talking about."

„For real?"

„There is only a small possibility of conceiving, though. I'm a man after all."

Now that I think about it, with the way he spoke and the gestures he made...

'He must have known already...'

I sighed as I reached main doors to the Uchiha compound. When I was just about to enter I heard someone call my name. I turned around and saw a familiar flash of pink hair.

„Hello Sakura."

„Hello." She greeted back with a smile. She looked so happy that I had the urge to strangle her. After giving it some thought I decided not to.

„What brings you here?" I asked, feeeling grumpy if I were to say, resting my back against the door.

„Naruto still did not come back?"

I only shook my head "no". Putting the fact into words would hurt more.

„And when will he come back?"

„I don't know. I was not told." I frowned.

„And why is he gone in the first place?"

'Should I tell her?' crossed my mind as she asked. After all she was one of Naruto's closest friends also. He would want her to know, probably.

„Can you keep secret?" I asked after a while.

She looked at me curiously. „I can... if it concerns anyone's safety, that is."

„Then come inside."

L&T

(Naruto's POV)

I have decided to leave today. Whether Gaara liked it or not, I could not impose on him any longer. He was already only three weeks away from his due date and I felt it was time to go. So I left.

I was travelling for few days already when I noticed a village in the distance.

At first I wanted to go there as a guy, but after all I was past my fourth month already. Even if it was not possible as far as most of the people were concerned, after a while someone might guess. Thus it would be better to turn into girl from the very start.

I used henge and then checked myself. Aside from changing to a girl I made my whisker-like marks disappear. I changed my hair colour to black. Blond was not a colour that could hide me anywhere. I also made my hair grow longer. The only part of myself I left unchanged were eyes.

Once I was – mentally – prepared I went in the direction of the village.

L&T

„Miss?"

I turned around, knowing it was me, who was addressed, since there was no one else around.

It felt strange to be called that. Once I turned around I saw a boy, around three years old. He looked at me with those huge green orbs as if he wanted me to drown in them.

„Why are you crying?"

I knelt so I'd be on eye level with him and smiled sadly.

„I had to leave someone I love very much." I admitted.

„And you miss him?"

„So very much."

„Why didn't he come with you then?"

The way it sounded was so childish, so naïve. I felt more tears pour down my face.

„Miss?" I heard panic in boy's voice, not that it surprised me too much.

„I'm sorry. It's just... it's hard for me you know?"

The boy nodded and then looked somewhere behind me.

„Mama!" He squealed and ran to the woman who approached from the other side of street.

„Are you all right, Miss?" The woman asked, taking the small boy into her arms.

I nodded only. She did not seem to believe me.

„And what brings you here?"

„I was looking for a place where I could stay for time being. Do you know of some?"

„Well, if you want to stay for few days only I would recommend city inn, but if you intend to stay for longer I can talk with an acquaintance of mine. He's moving away, tomorrow actually, and has not yet found a buyer for his house."

„That would be really kind of you."

„We can go there now if you want. I was headed in that direction anyway."

I nodded and followed her.

She asked me a lot of questions on our way there. I somehow evaded most of them and gave her only scraps of information. We walked for few minutes, leaving the centre of the village behind and saw a small house in the distance.

„See the house there by the end of the road? That's it Miss... Oh I am so rude, I did not even ask for your name. My name is Ayame [means iris] and this little guy..." she looked at her son, who fell asleep in her arms „... is Haru [spring]... And how should I call you?"

I knew from the time I left Suna that I cannot actually use my name for the time being, it was too unusual, and I would be targeted once found alone... and pregnant. I did not think of the name I should use, however.

I looked to the ground, as if I could find an answer there. And surprisingly I did. I found the answer in water droplets that were still falling from my eyes.

„You can call me Namida [tears]."

L&T

It all went quite smoothly and I moved into the house the day the – by then previous – owner left, which was only a day after our negotiations.

When I entered the house as its new owner it seemed strange. I was not used to living alone. Not anymore.

'Sasuke...'

I really wanted him to be there with me also.

I walked through the house in the direction of the door to the small garden the house had.

There were only few fruit-bearing trees, flowerbed, vegetable garden and so on.

I sat under one of trees and sighed. It really reminded me of mine and Sasuke's "talking sessions" when we were still apart from each other... then after we got together... and then the one... after we had to separate.

A gloomy mood overcame my mind, as it usually did once I started thinking about my reason for being here too much.

Just as I was on the brink of breakdown I heard knocking from main door, I snapped back to the reality and sighed. Then I got up from the ground and went to open it.

„Good afternoon, Ayame-san." I greeted the woman.

„Good afternoon, Namida-san. I told my husband so much about you that he insisted that we should invite you to come over some time. Would that be too troublesome?"

„I don't really mind. When should I come by, tomorrow?"

„Actually, there is a small gathering today, in the centre. I wanted to ask... Whether you'd be interested in coming there?"

'As hell I'd be right now.' I thought. There was no way however I could say that after how the woman has been kind to me. I was only glad I could still control my swinging mood a bit.

„I'll be pleased to come. When and where will the gathering be?"

„Well, it will be in the Village hall, it is on the same street as the inn you stayed at. Have you heard of it?" she did not even wait for me to answer and continued. „And it will start around six o'clock, which is about two hours from now I think. Shall we expect you then?"

„I'll come, the Village hall, was it?"

„Yes." she smiled and handed me a basket. „This is for you, there are some fruits. You should have higer vitamins income." she winked. „How far along are you, by the way? You seem quite far along, I'd guess like six, maybe even seven months..."

I stopped her before she could continue with her hypothesis.

„I am carrying twins actually. And I'm only past my fourth month now."

„Twins! How sweet..." she smiled. Suddenly her face got a serious look. „And the father?"

'I knew she'd ask.'

„Don't tell me he left you once you told him about being pregnant." she said, horrified when I did not reply immediately.

„That's not the case, I had to leave in hurry. The father is not aware... Unless he figured it out himself." I let out a strained laugh as my own words scared me. Then my expression calmed. „I'd want him to know though. I love him very much."

„And that's the reason for..." she pointed at my cheeks that had now practically permanent streams of tears pouring down them.

I only nodded.

„You must love him very much."

„I do."

L&T

„My feet are killing me!" I growled into the empty room.

The gathering went on just fine. I got to meet Ayame-san's husband, Takeo [warrior].

I got to know few more village people. They were all really nice to me. I was happy about that. It seemed as if time stopped here. As if everyone lived at their pace, caring about others, not caring about the shinobi world around. It was a soothing change I had to say.

That much exercise, however, made me deadly tired, and I slumped onto the cold bed, back first, not even bothering to take off the kimono I chose to wear today.

'Should I try to speak to him?' I thought to myself, hesitating. Then I looked at my growing belly. 'If he did not know until now, he'd definitely know once I show up like this... Well... whatever...'

I felt a strong urge to do something immoral, and I really, really, wanted to see Sasuke and then to shower him with kisses all over, to entangle my hands in his hair, to let him kiss me back and lick me all over, to let him caress my skin softly, to let him...

'Those hormones are something...' I chuckled, seeing just where my trail of thoughts heads to as I shook my head to get rid of the pictures it supplied me with.

'Well there's not much more that I can lose now.' I thought as I made the dream connection possible.

I just sincerely hoped that Sasuke was on the other side.

L&T

(Third Person's POV)

This one time, however, the blonde waited for the raven to no avail. He did not appear even after the boy waited for many hours, weeping silently, sitting next to sprouts that were the symbol of their unborn children.

L&T

(Sasuke's POV)

'I'm going to kill someone... soon.'

This sentence formed in my brain as I looked at Hokage's face, smiling brightly – and obviously drunk - at me. That woman really knew how to annoy me.

„Uchihaaaa... You're making a sooour facee~" she said from the place opposite to mine, obviously amused by the statement.

'And who the heck do you think is the reason?'

„You should smile moooore~"

'If I kill her now, will anyone notice?' I thought eying the rest of the drunk group, half of them sleeping or simply laying on the floor already. 'I doubt that.'

I looked around the room once more.

'Why did I accept to come here in the first place?' I thought, growling at my discomfort as I turned back to the person sitting opposite to me. As I did I saw the expression on Hokage's face change. She seemed all serious all of sudden.

„I need to talk to you."

L&T

'Is it easier not to love? Not to care?'

I watched the village from dobe's usual observing place, Yondaime's head, replaying my conversation with Hokage. As I saw the sun peak from behind the horizon I sighed.

'Did he wait for me today?...' A thought occurred to me. Then I pushed it aside. 'I doubt that.'

I looked over the waking up village once more.

'I can postpone it... for now... There will be a time when I can't avoid it, though.'

L&T

(Naruto's POV)

„Namida-nee-san!"

„What is it? Haru?" I asked the boy who sneaked from home to see me once again. He did it few times already.

„When will the baby come?" he asked innocently, patting my belly with his small hand.

„It'll be two babies... and they will take some more time to come..." I smiled feeling the shape of my swollen abdomen myself. Then I jumped slightly, as I felt a movement against my hand. The first movement they showed so far. I sighed in relief over that, knowing that they're all right, then.

„Haru give me your hand." I said softly, to which the boy complied immediately.

Once he felt the movement he froze.

„They're moving there? And don't they want out then?"

„No sweetie, they're only showing me they're doing fine there for now."

„Okay..." He said, looking wide-eyed at his hand under which he felt a kick.

Just as the boy opened his mouth to ask some more Ayame-san came.

„Haru! What did I say about sneaking away?"

The boy looked as if he tried hard to remember but failed miserably mumbling something. I had to laugh at it.

„Namida-san?"

„I'm sorry it's just..." I did not even end the sentence and started to laugh again. It was only after the wave passed that I continued. „... I haven't had felt like laughing for so long."

„Ah, sorry... I know it may sound rude, but seeing you laugh like that while you shed tears caught me as a bit bizarre."

„Sorry about that. It's more like side-effect of sort. I don't even notice it too much anymore. It's like leaking water only. When I start to cry for real you'll know, believe it." I smiled sadly.

She accepted it with a nod and gave me a reassuring smile.

„Don't worry everything will turn out fine in the end."

„I sincerely hope so."

L&T

Two weeks after children's first movements Neji came, telling me that Gaara delivered healthy baby boy. He was named Shin [real/true].

I was overjoyed over the facts that everything seemed to go fine. I thanked Neji and after I let him rest for a while he went back to Gaara and their newborn son.

Seeing him leave like that I felt a pang of jealousy. I wish someone would rush to me like that also.

L&T

Following day I went to the village on my usual shopping round. Just to buy few things I considered necessary.

I looked around almost empty road and sighed.

I was not able to contact Sasuke for few days already. It seemed as if he somehow purposely avoided me.

'Is he blocking me out of his mind on purpose?' I wondered. 'I hope that's not the case.'

I really longed to hear his voice. It's been about a month since the last time.

'Teme...'

As usual, once I started to think about my raven, more tears were bound to fall, I think village people even thought of nickname for me, because of that, I never caught it, though and Ayame-san refused to tell me.

I sighed again as I bought the last thing on my list and headed back to the house. It did not even deserve to be called home.

'There is no home, without Sasuke.'

I smiled sadly. It seemed almost pathetic how unable I was to think about anything else. Sasuke would mock me about it probably.

When I came through the main door and placed the shopping basket next to the door I sniffled as the sad mood came over me once more.

„Sasuke... I really want to see you."

'Will I see him tonight?' I thought. Then something struck me. 'Maybe, when I can't get hold of him at night... Can I catch him during the day?'

I was tired anyway so I just changed into something less girly than the summer dress I had on, lifted the henge for a while – since I was not sure whether I'd appear in my dreams like that also – and went to sleep, praying to meet this one person that always meant the world to me.

L&T

(Third Person's POV)

Naruto appeared in the midst of pitch-black flower field, surrounded by whirlwind of roses, also black.

He did not wait even a minute, enjoying the soft rain, when another whirlwind appeared, revealing the man with the hair colour of flowers in their dream fields.

„Sasuke!" The blonde squealed and jumped at the raven, before all of flowers disappeared, hugging him tightly.

That movement, of course, caused both of them to fall.

Once Naruto realized that he did not hear a response of any sort from Sasuke he was confused. Sasuke always replied, somehow... even if it was "What did I tell you about jumping?"

„Sasuke?" Naruto asked, scared to look at his lover. Once he did he regretted it immediately. There was tension, anger, but above these there was pain.

„Sasuke? What's wrong?"

„Get off me, dobe." Sasuke growled, trying to get from under Naruto.

Naruto understood and released his tight grip, not knowing what was really happening.

„Sasuke I..."

„Stop!" Sasuke yelled, cutting off Naruto's attempt to apologize. „I know ready." he groaned, reaching out his hand to Naruto's stomach.

„Why didn't you tell me? Am I so unreliable?"

„NO! I..."

„Stop it! I don't want to hear your excuses."

Naruto looked dumb-founded at his lover, not really knowing how to react.

„Maybe it was not good idea to start going out, after all."

„No..." Naruto whispered, catching the not-so-hidden meaning of these words. „Please... no!"

Seconds later his biggest fear revealed itself, in the form of simple five words.

„I want to break up."

L&T

There were many things that the Jinchuuriki thought of as unfair or hurtful in his life. This hurt, this betrayal, however, was the worst of all of them.

His heart broke the moment he heard his lover utter those words, it shattered into million pieces that felt as if nothing would ever put them together again.

The whole world turned white and black, colours disappearing into nothingness.

He woke up covered in sweat and as-if-in-daze stumbled out of the house, into the garden. There was a heavy rain, but the boy didn't care.

He still heard words of the man he loved, echoing in his ears and he broke down in new streams of tears, falling onto his knees, burying his nails into the loft. His body heaved with the intensity of his sobs.

'WHY!'

Feeling more pain than he ever thought was possible, he buried his face in his palms and screamed out his heart in despair, hoping to ease this suffering at least a little. However it did not help even a slightest bit.

The pain was still there, as fresh as minutes ago. He screamed and screamed until his vocal cords gave out. He continued crying even after they did, punching the ground with his fists.

There was nothing else that could have hurt him like this.

Done...

Please don't kill me TT^TT...

As always I appreciate reviews~ d=(^o^)=b

Somehow it's funny, with this chapter done, I surpassed the word count of my other fan fiction, which I started two months earlier xD

(A/N - 14th Jan. 2013 - chapters 7-10 self-beta-ed, corrections made)

See ya~ ( "-.-)/