Entry Three: Part Three
Title: Forbidden Dance
Xx
Two days after the night after I confronted her and she confessed after I forced her to do so, proceeding to repeat the night before last night, by having her way with me against the door of her office.
That was the story of my life, currently. I had suddenly become this wild blonde hair Sheriff who was keeping this huge secret from everyone around me. And what the hell was that secret? I had initiated a romance with the one woman who had terrorized everyone's life in Storybrooke, and the one person my parents despised the most, even before I was actually born. So naturally, I had evolved into this person that indeed refused to see only black and white and chose to see all shades of grey in her Majesty: Regina Mills.
I sat at the window once again, but this time it was in the late afternoon of Tuesday, with a warm sun set and a whispering afternoon breeze caressing my face. Yet everything around me seemed to appear much happier and brighter than before, on many occasions before when I had chosen to gaze out that same window to look out unto Storybrooke. I felt this warm buzz of energy, almost like a bubbling fountain within me, and felt as if I was completely alive again. To have someone love you like the way Regina did was something breathtaking in its entirety. Within a day she had made me feel so welcomed and warm, aiding in providing me with the overwhelming feeling of acceptance that I pretty much chose to self-indulge myself in spending time with her as often as I could.
This is what happened the day after.
xx
Since it was too early, I had retreated back to Granny's indulging in a very animate conversation with Ruby over two cups of steaming cocoa. And finally, I related everything to her, having her promise that she'd keep that one secret for me, even though her eyes grew as wide as saucers and I was suddenly totally afraid that she'd babble at the nearest opportunity she was provided with. But needless to say, she feared the worst as well, and felt the danger of speaking about any of it entirely. So I had rightfully confided in her.
"Regina!" she whispered, her eyes bulging, gripping the edge of the desk, "oh my gosh! Emma!"
"It pretty much sucks, yeah", I admitted, glancing around just to make sure no one was listening.
It was a crowded day at Granny's with almost all the seats occupied, and everyone seemed to be ready to start the week off with as much energy as possible.
"But it's what you want?" she asked, studying me with her eyes, waiting. "Is that what you really want?"
I thought about it, but not for long. "Of course it's what I want. I mean, putting the past aside…"
"But that's it!" Ruby said in hushed tones. "How the hell can you put the past aside after everything she's done to you and to your parents…to us? Do you know what you're putting yourself into here?"
And as always, there it was, the feeling of being conflicted, almost as if I had no solid foundation to stand upon, yet I chose to stand upon it anyway.
"I know what she did", I said quietly, taking a finger and scooping up some whipped cream, "but I'm giving her a chance. I trust her, Ruby."
"Your parents did before and she fucked them up until they had to banish her", she admitted, halfheartedly. "We all agreed to have her killed back then…"
"But my mother was the one who chose to spare her life", I added, growing a bit frustrated at her for bringing up the past. "Killing her has never been the best answer. I know in the past you all chose to see black and white but here it's different. I don't just see bad, I see remedies and giving chances, and she's not the same."
"She's exactly the same", Ruby said and sighed.
"You were the one who was egging me on yesterday to find out who the person was."
"I had no idea it was her and if it adds more light unto the dilemma we have before us, she chose to fuck you up by disguising herself as a Pirate just to have her way with you."
"She was afraid to tell me the truth so she chose to see how I'd react to that situation!" I whispered, my eyes wide.
"No", Ruby stated, her eyes on me, "what she wanted was to make out with you and then walk off and if you never figured it out then it would just pass and she'd have that guilty memory of having fucked you without your knowledge as it's some kind of a joke or fetish to her."
"I am really not going to argue anymore about this", I said feeling miserable. And I chose to sip my cocoa, my eyes elsewhere.
"You never liked her before", Ruby said after a while, quietly and looking at me. "Regina always pissed you off. She always found a way to get to you."
"Because she loved me", I said.
"It's not going to work out", Ruby said staring at me. "But if you want me to keep it a secret, then sure. I just don't agree to it."
"Thanks for being such an understanding friend", I said sarcastically, my eyes on the entrance.
"Emma, listen to me", she said pleading, "there's a huge difference between good sex and good relations. And Regina doesn't want you, she's just using you."
I chose not to answer but to ignore her, feeling tears burning behind my eyelids. And lifting the cup to my mouth, I sipped long and hard, feeling the hot liquid scald my mouth and tongue. And it felt so terrible but good because I never expected anyone to understand. Even I didn't. Yet she had changed me. I hated the fact that I loved her so much now that I couldn't see what anyone else would see about her that labeled her as bad. Ruby had just tried to give me a wake up call.
When the door to Granny's was pushed open, my eyes wavered to the sound and instantly my heart rate quickened as she stepped over the threshold and into the diner. Today she was wearing something quite unlike her usual attire: a yellow flounce dress that stopped at her knees with a low neckline. And her lips were painted blood red, like a glossy apple. Her dark hair fell around her pale face perfectly, almost too perfect and when my eyes moved over her black stockings and high heels, I couldn't help but smile at the thought of me having ripped a pair only last night.
Her dark eyes moved to meet mine as the door closed behind her and I wished Ruby could see the way she looked at me right then. Maybe she'd understand what I saw in her eyes and why I trusted Regina so much now, in believing that she truly loved me. The look was only pure, almost as if she had broken down all her walls just to forever allow me to see her truest self. Not only was her eyes filled with happiness in seeing me, but she revealed much more. Moving to sit at her usual place near the front window, she chose to tuck her hair behind an ear and as she crossed her legs, she gazed at me again.
Seeing my mother pushing her way through the front door, I quickly diverted my eyes to stare at my cocoa, my thumbs caressing the lips of the mug almost as if I only wanted to do the same to the woman sitting by the window right now. I wondered what she was thinking of me.
"Emma", Mary Margaret said breathless, sliding into the seat opposite me. "I'm late for school."
I just looked at her and half smiled with my mind elsewhere at the moment.
"All this time we were away from here, even after the curse broke", she began, signaling to Ruby, "I think I lost track of how to carry on as usual. I'm a teacher and I'm Snow White now. All these memories rushing in to be added to what I already know…"
"Yup", it was Ruby and she chose to look at me, yet when I only ignored her and stared at my cocoa, she looked away.
"A cup of coffee and a take away Cinnamon Roll", my mother said quickly, smiling, her eyes flickering up to meet Ruby's and then returning to me. "I feel conflicted."
"You're not alone on that one", I muttered, and sighed.
She began to study me with questioning eyes.
"What's wrong with you? You seem distant since that party."
I noticed that as Regina read the papers before her, she'd glance over at me then to the back of my mother's head, a far off look in her eyes.
"Just like you", I said quietly, reaching up to scratch at my right temple, "I'm still getting used to all of this fairytale stuff."
"Aw it's not easy", she said sadly, gazing at me. "I'm still getting used to all of it too. Regina actually told me good morning just now on the pavement before I came in!" and she stared at me, her eyes wide.
"She did?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yes! Plus I didn't get a glare which is something considering the fact that she always glares at me. But things are changing, and it's not as if I don't like any of it, still I can't help but feel forced to forget the past when it has had this huge effect on all of us."
"She's not a bad person", I said quietly, glancing at Regina for the umpteenth time since she came in. "She just wants to change."
"And you're the only person giving her a chance to change, even above Henry", she said quietly, gazing at me. "I really am so proud of you for being who you are because even though your father and I above all the others find it hard to forgive and love her, you have never been hesitant to give her so many chances."
Ruby appeared at our table with my mother's Cinnamon Roll and her take away cup of coffee. And she smiled, then bounced around on the spot happily.
"Guess who just asked me out!" she said gleefully, looking from me to Mary Margaret.
"I have no idea", I said looking up at her, suddenly surprised.
"Whale!" she exclaimed, and her eyes flickered to the far side of the diner where Whale sat with Archie at a table. "But it's tonight, so I was thinking that maybe after the dinner party, we can branch off together."
I stared around. "Dinner party?"
"Yeah", Ruby said smiling broadly, "the thing your father planned. Kind of alike a late welcome back gig for your mother and you."
"It was supposed to be a secret", Mary Margaret said looking at me, "but I found out about it, since he can't hide anything from me."
"I thought you told her!" Ruby said looking at her. "Shit, it would have been a nice surprise then."
"That you ruined", my mother said and sighed. "Anyway, Emma it's tonight at 7pm right here."
I smiled, twirling the end of my hair around a finger. "Great, what do I have to bring?"
"Anything", Ruby said and then suddenly, she stopped smiling, "I mean, not anything, but something suitable." And she kept her eyes on mine.
I only chose to glare at her knowing exactly who she was referring to.
"Anyway", my mother said clueless as to what Ruby and I were silently arguing about, "I've got to run or else I will be late for school. See ya later, Emma." And she picked up her purse and books then slid out from the seat.
On her way out, I noticed that she glanced over at Regina who chose to look up the same time. And the latter considered her with a smile, and a nod only to leave Mary Margaret to collide with the front door and then fumble to pull it open. I wanted to laugh but chose not to since the diner was more than over capacitated.
And once again, I resorted to picking the sprinkles from the top of a lime green cupcake I had recently ordered, divulging myself in the fact that there was no one in the universe who understood or accepted what I felt for Regina. There was Henry though. He had been in thrills ever since, calling me up this morning to cheerfully chat me up and asking me if I was seeing his other mom that day too. Thank gods for the kid's happiness, finally. At least one of us was happy about all of this. But was I not happy? I guess so with all this new form pressure around me.
Suddenly I felt my cellphone vibrate and wondering who it was that had texted me, hoping it wasn't Henry since he was supposed to be in class, I pulled it out. Flipping it open, I opened the message, my heart beating.
Regina: Come and sit with me. The distance between us is killing me with every second we choose to just gaze at each other.
I frowned outwardly yet beamed internally.
Me: I can't. Diner is too full with watchers.
And I clicked SEND. I wanted nothing more than to just get up and go sit with her because my heart ached to be close to her. Yet there was practically everyone in there around us. There was Whale, Archie, Granny, Belle, a few others and then my father came in, smiling at me and moving to sit with Grumpy at a front table. My phone vibrated again and with a shaky hand, I reached over to pick it up, opening it and clicking VIEW.
Regina: Look at me.
And when I read it, I swallowed hard, feeling my throat become dry and my hand became sweaty. Yet I lifted my eyes to look at her and when I did, I instantly became captivated by her gaze, those dark eyes meeting mine only barely trying to unhinge me yet desperately begging me to go forth and join her. I wanted it so much.
"Please", she mouthed, her eyes on mine, then they flickered around to register if anyone else was looking at her.
Picking up my cell, I slid it into my jeans pocket, and I wrapped my fingers around my mug, then I got up. With my eyes anywhere else but on her, I slowly made my way to where she sat. And when I got there, I sat down in the seat in front of her, and placed my cup before me. Yet my heart was beating so wildly in my chest that I couldn't look at her, afraid of what my eyes would give away if I did. And I knew someone had to be watching us. If it was my father and he saw…
"Emma", Regina said quietly, and she placed the newspapers down upon the table. I watched it with my eyes and slouched in my seat.
"Yeah", I said.
"Look at me", she said hoarsely, and I watched as her right hand moved ever so slightly across the table to reach mine. But I quickly moved mine away.
"I can't", I said quickly, feeling weak.
"Glare at me then", she suddenly said sarcastically, "yell at me, like you always do. Just do something because I can't stand the fact that you're sitting there and I can't make you look at me or I can't be closer to you!"
"Regina!" I whispered, allowing my eyes to meet hers, frantically. "Don't…"
"Fine", she said, and I watched as her eyes filled with tears. She began to fold up her newspaper before her and then picked up her handbag. "I'll do you a favor and leave."
"Regina…" I pleaded but she just got up, her eyes never meeting mine.
And then when she strode towards the door, I saw many eyes register her leaving, Grumpy chose to smile. And Ruby only considered me with a smile on her face as well, enjoying herself. Hating the fact of staying in there any longer, I just got up angrily, hating all of them in there. Then I went after her.
She was just pushing the key in her car door when I got out on the sidewalk, and I stopped.
"You agreed last night that we would keep it secret", I began.
"I can't do this", she said, her voice strained, her head bent with her hair falling around her face like a curtain.
"I can't tell them!" I demanded, frustrated.
"Okay", she said quietly, and turned the key in the door, and then when the door was unlocked, she pulled it open.
I acted on reflex, running to the other side of her car and then I opened the car door. When she started the engine, I chose to climb in and closing the door after me, I just sat there, not looking at her.
"Drive…" I said with my eyes focused forward. And when my heart threatened to leap from out of my chest just from the smell of her inside the car, making me grow dizzy, she pressed down on the gas.
Regina's presence beside me was tormenting and I suddenly realized that I had never before been so overwhelmed by being in her presence. Not only had the air usually been filled with tension but I had always anticipated an argument. Yet speaking from within my heart, I never ever despised her. And it was only fitting now that my truest feelings were catching up on me, threatening to drive me crazy. Her perfume filled her car like an intoxicating scent, and suddenly I was transported back to last night when I had been so close to her, with the smell of her skin blurring my vision.
It was only when she chose to take another route aside from driving to her house that I turned to gaze at her.
"Where are we going?" I asked quietly. I suddenly couldn't bear it. Using my right hand, I moved it to touch the left side of her face softly, feeling the smoothness of her skin beneath my fingers. And she chose to respond to my touch, trying to forcefully keep her eyes wide open to focus on the road, yet her eyes ever so softly closed.
Suddenly I knew exactly where she was taking me for I had been there before with one person whom we both shared and loved.
When she drove along the dirt path and slowed the car down, her hand moving to put the vehicle into PARK, I just allowed my eyes to register the mass of water before us. And then there was the fact that she had chosen to demolish Henry's fort to replace it with a three wooden benches facing the water. She was a very unpredictable woman. And I loved that about her because I had gotten pretty used to searching for answers, to a point where if I couldn't search I got fatigued and felt lazy. Yet she always had me searching, trying to figure out what she'd do next.
She unbuckled her seatbelt, using her hand to guide it back into its place and resting a hand on my shoulder softly, I looked at her.
"Let's take a walk", she said searching my eyes for an approval.
"Sure", I said gazing into her dark eyes.
She turned to open her door and I did the same, climbing out and feeling the rush of sea wind, travelling around me and through my wavy hair. I welcomed it, smiling and breathing in, feeling suddenly refreshed as if all my worries had suddenly been blown away. Opening my arms, I just closed my eyes and smiled widely, then huffed out a breath of air and laughed.
"This feels so awesome", I admitted, feeling the warm sunshine on my face.
It did feel awesome! Like for reals, awesome. Now I felt so like me again, not as if a burden was holding me down. I wanted to just shout out something, possibly Regina's name like a lunatic. And after a long time since before I had been sucked into that portal, before this whole curse thing, I kind of felt happy again.
Opening my eyes, my arms still outstretched, I saw that she had come to stand in front of me, and she just looked so beautiful in her yellow dress and high heels that I couldn't help but gaze lovingly at her. Wrapping her arms around herself, she stepped towards me, smiling, her dark hair blowing in the wind.
"I'm sorry for snapping at you like that before", she said quietly, looking at me, "I guess I have been so tense these past few days, that my nerves are terribly bothering me, added to the fact that I am only just getting used to realizing how hard this is for you."
I only considered her with a cool look and shrugged. "Everyone remembers the past."
"Right", she said sadly, "I will always be the Evil Queen to everyone, even Henry."
"But not me", I said quickly, and I reached out to take her right hand, entwining my fingers with hers as she chose to gaze down then back up at me. "I never knew that person they like to talk about. I just know you as Regina."
"I am trying so hard, Emma", she said, pulling me towards her and beginning to walk. I chose to do the same. "I really want to redeem myself, to prove to everyone that I am not that person anymore. But no one wants to give me any more chances, except you."
And we just walked slowly, both holding each other's hands. I had never done something like this in such a long time. Yet even before when I had done something like this with Neal, it never felt like this. It was almost as if this was the real thing, and nothing else had mattered before.
"Don't worry about what anyone else thinks", I stated. "I believe in you."
And when we approached a bench, she looked at me. I chose to sit, not crossing my legs like her and her ladylike ways, but I just slipped back comfortably on the bench and rested my head back. I watched her as she sat down beside me, gracefully and all Queen-like and I couldn't help but smile, my eyes on her low neckline. Yep, she was wearing lace again.
"So tell me", I said squinting my eyes at her, "before the curse, wasn't there anyone else who you loved? And don't tell me about Graham", I said quickly, lifting a hand because I had heard of his story and how she had held him captive in her castle.
"There was only Daniel", she admitted, her eyes saddening. "All the other encounters I had with men, well…" and she rubbed her palms on her lap, "let's not go there."
"My mother told me about Daniel", I said quietly, "she's so sorry, Regina. She really is."
"Emma, if someone did that to you, could you forgive them easily?" she asked, turning to look at me, tears in her eyes.
"No", I said, "I would have bitched on them but we all handle things differently. You chose to do what you had to do. I would have just cried for like a year then picked myself up and move on."
She sighed. "I was just 17 years old and a broken heart was so painful. I never wanted to be Queen. My mother threw me into a heartless marriage."
"You need to allow your heart to mend again", I said looking at her. "Henry's father promised me the world, Regina, and then next thing I knew, I was being thrown in prison at 18, pregnant. You want to talk of a broken heart, think about that. I got a baby in prison, shared jail cells with mad women who kicked my ass. That's why I became so tough, because I have been fighting all my life, nothing ever coming easy. Literally, when I gave Henry up, my heart wasn't broken, it was ripped out of my chest. I had no choice because I couldn't raise him properly. Thankfully", I said and sighed, "he ended up here with you."
"I am so sorry", she said sadly, gazing at me, "but are you really thankful that he ended up here with me?"
"Duh", I said quickly, "or else I never would have met you."
Suddenly, Regina moved to get up and when she did, she reached behind her to neaten her dress and then she came to lower herself to sit on my lap. Facing me, she lifted her hands and used them to caress my face, pushing my hair back behind my ears.
"Can I kiss you, Emma?" she asked politely, gazing into my eyes, searching them for acceptance.
"You don't have to ask permission", I said reaching up to rake my fingers through her hair. "Just don't call me Miss Swan, right now."
Understanding what I meant, she laughed and slowly leaned in, moving her lips closer to mine, watching and waiting for me to do the same. And then her eyes remained fixated on me, yet she chose to close them as she tilted her head to the right, pressing her lips on mine and kissing me slowly. I welcomed it, my heart racing as she caressed my neck and I, well I chose to allow my fingers to wander to her low neckline and then I was fingering lace, smiling. This morning she tasted like coffee and apple jam, her tongue moving against mine and I just felt my toes curling in my boots as she passionately moved her body against mine, moaning as my hand found her bare breast. And then she tilted my face sideways and began to trail kisses along my cheeks and neck, making me writhe in my seat.
And it felt like we kissed for such a long time, and it felt freaking amazing, so wonderful and powerful. When she moved her lips away from mine, I was so breathless that I just gazed at her.
"Where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?" I asked her breathless.
"I did well then?" she asked, searching my eyes.
"Well?" and I gasped. "You were astounding!"
"I was?" and she peered at me, squinting her eyes yet smiling.
"No you know what", I said quickly, moving my hands over her arms and pulling her closer to me, "kiss me again and let me be sure."
"Okay", she said smiling, and she kissed me until I couldn't breathe.
Holding her against me, her head resting against my chest, I just played with her hair, noticing that she felt so relaxed. Regina's body became totally loose, almost as if she had just given up in fighting for acceptance.
I suddenly couldn't care less either. "Regina", I said quietly, caressing her left cheek.
"Hmm?" she said using her thumb to caress the palm of my right hand, sending tiny buzzes of electrical feels through my arm.
"I'm inviting you to a dinner party tonight my parents are throwing as a Welcome back for my mother and I."
She turned to peer up at me, searching my eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Of course", I said looking at her, "I want you there."
"But the way we look at each other will reveal our secret", she admitted, "Emma, I only want to be with you and I don't care what any of them think. If your parents hate me for it, I can live with it but you are old enough to have what you want. And you have to decide what you want."
"I know", I said sadly.
"I don't want to hide what makes me truly happy", Regina said, gazing at me. "But if you want to keep it a secret, I will try to do that for as long as you wish."
"That means so much to me", I said feeling tears form in my eyes.
It wasn't fair that everyone else got to be with who they wanted to be with and I couldn't just tell my parents that I loved Regina. In fact, she was partly to be blamed too for most of it since it was her bad reputation in the past that darkened her character in everyone's eyes. Yet I couldn't help but love her and ignore all of that. Love was the only thing I wanted to feel for her and that would be what I wanted. I'd just have to find a way to tell my parents. And hopefully they wouldn't react badly, or throw a tantrum. I doubted that though.
And where did you think I retreated to make something to take to this dinner? Yup, it was at her house, after I had picked up Henry that afternoon. I figured that my mother would return home and wonder where I was, but since I had returned, everyone assumed that I'd be at the Sheriff's office. That day, I only checked in for like four hours, did some paperwork and got out of there. The fact of the matter was, I hated that place now, just realizing that no longer would I sit there and have a heated Regina come charging in to check up on me and my job.
So Henry and I decided to make beef burgers, counting the amount of people to attend, we did two extra. Regina just sat in the kitchen near the tiled counter observing us work, a smile on her face as she always chose to gaze at me, making me red in the face.
"So since we can't tell Snow White or Prince Charming about the two of you", Henry said placing the bread upon a platter, "I think we should call this one Operation: Swan Queen."
"Very nice", Regina said smiling. "I like that name very much."
"Me too!" I said looking at him, smiling with my eyes wide. "That sounds awesome!"
"The two of you don't know how nice it feels to finally have both my moms getting along so well", Henry said and he peered over at Regina. "Just because you tried, it means you've completed redeemed yourself to me. And I love you so much for that."
"Thank you, sweetheart!" Regina said and tears formed in her eyes. Getting up, she walked around the counter to where he stood and wrapped her arms around him.
Turning around from the stove to watch them, smiling, I tiptoed forward and reached in to bite her earlobe. She turned quickly to stare at me, wild eyed and then she smiled.
"Henry would you be a darling and go on upstairs to get ready now?" Regina asked sweetly, ruffling his hair.
"Sure", he said rushing to the sink to wash his hands.
And she chose to stand there, watching me with wicked, teasing eyes, whilst I swallowed hard, trying to focus on frying the meat and not burning it. Thankfully, they were done, and I took them out, placing them on tissues to drain the oil. With my eyes moving to watch Henry leave the kitchen, as soon as he had gone up the stairs, Regina stepped towards me, slowly, her eyes dark, and her expression serious.
"I'm trying to do this", I said firmly, turning to sap the oil from the beef, my eyes flickering to watch her as she came towards me. "You…don't do it."
"I suddenly want you so much after what you just did", she said coming up to me, and bringing her body close to mine as I stood facing the counter, lifting the meat now to place it in a container. And her arms wrapped themselves around me, her lips moving to my neck to kiss me softly. "I love you so much, sweetheart."
"I love you too, Regina", I said quietly, putting down the clipper and turning to embrace her, just holding her close.
"My Emma", she whispered softly, moving against me, hugging me tightly, and she trailed kisses from my forehead all the way down to my right shoulder.
"And how can anyone say you are a bad person?" I asked, leaning into her. "You're just misunderstood terribly."
"I was bad until I met you", she admitted softly, "my savior."
"I prefer your knight in shining armor", I said smiling. "It sounds sexier."
"How about my wild blonde knight in her ridiculous red leather jacket?"
"It suits me better", I admitted and we both laughed.
Xx
So we went in, everyone cheering for us, hugging us and admitting how glad they were that we were back safe and sound. Ruby came to hug me tightly though, smiling and kissing me on my cheek. I smiled at her and shrugged.
"Everything's good?" I asked.
"Everything's awesome", she said gleefully.
And I walked in, Henry running to speak to Archie and Grumpy animatedly.
"I'm so glad to finally cook something that I didn't have to hunt first", I told Granny, relieved.
"Tell me about it", she said understanding and she took the two containers from my hands then went to rest them down upon the counter.
"So let's raise our glasses to Emma and Snow's safety", my father said toasting and he lifted his glass up, so did all of us, "and since we're toasting, let's hope Snow and I don't have to lose each other again."
"Cheers!" we all said. And I lifted the glass to my mouth and sipped the champagne.
Watching Henry, I noticed that he was saying something about me to Archie and I wondered what it was. I hope he didn't forget about Operation: Swan Queen. But before I could step forward and listen in, the front door opened and I turned quickly. There stood Regina with her bowl of lasagna tucked in one arm, her eyes wide as she saw us all there.
"Sorry I'm late", she said softly, gazing around.
When my eyes rested on Regina, I was breathless, remembering what we had done less than an hour ago in her kitchen. Let's just say we did magical things to each other. Yet everyone just turned around and my mother gasped. So did Ruby. I hated them for that, all of them. And I just wanted to shout at them for being so rude.
"What is she doing here?" Grumpy asked angrily, grabbing a knife from behind him, and he glared at Regina.
Regina just did as I had told her to do. She ignored all of them and went to set her dish up on the counter. And allowing my eyes to move to Henry, I signaled for him to join her.
"Emma, what is she doing here?" my mother asked, staring wide eyed at me.
"Yeah, Emma, what is she doing here?" Ruby asked staring at me.
"I invited her", I stated boldly.
"But why?" Mary Margaret asked, and my father came to stand next to us.
"You invited her?" he asked.
"Yeah", I said ignoring Ruby's glare. "Henry wanted it. The kid believes in her. And so do I. She wants to change. Can't we just give her a chance?"
"Sure", Ruby said sarcastically. And she turned to walk off, her hands on her hips.
Hearing my father sigh, I turned to look at him, feeling tears threaten to fill my eyes. Please, dad, I begged in my mind. Please understand.
After looking at me, he reached out to rest a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "It's okay", he said quietly, "if you can give her a chance, we'll just have to do the same. Plus we all know she wants to change."
"So let's give her that chance", my mother said smiling at me. "After all, she saved us days ago."
"Why do you trust her so much?" my father asked looking at me, searching my eyes.
"Yes, I wanted to ask you that for so long now. Did she do something that we aren't aware of?" my mother asked.
"I…" I swallowed and breathed in, then glanced back at Regina as she sat scooping out a piece of lasagna for Henry, smiling. "I just trust her", I chose to say, feeling my throat close up.
"Okay", my father said accepting it.
And whilst they all gathered up to talk to one another, no one spoke to Regina except Grumpy who made a smart comment at her lasagna. It angered me, till I wanted to cry but composing myself, I just watched her as she gazed at me, her eyes sad. Then getting up from the stool, she walked across to sit at a table all by herself, looking around at everyone just longing for one of them to talk to her. So, taking a piece of her lasagna, I walked over and slid in to the same seat she was occupying, not the seat opposite.
"What's up?" I asked, forking up a bit of lasagna.
With her eyes wide, she watched me, and I noticed that her dark eyes were moist with tears. Suddenly without thinking, I found my right hand reaching up, and using my thumb to wipe the corners of her eyes, smearing her eyeliner slightly. With her lips parted, she gazed back at me, her hair falling beautifully around her face.
Xx
Reaching up to wipe the corner of David's mouth, Mary Margaret laughed and from the corner of her eye, she saw Emma move from where she was standing talking to Archie. Allowing her eyes to follow her movement, wondering if she was leaving, Snow watched as her daughter went to sit in the same seat as Regina, with a slice of lasagna on a plate in her hand.
"Remembering the day when she started to beat that bird in our cabin", Grumpy was saying and they laughed. "I was so shocked. I mean, Snow, beating a bird."
"It was the potion she drank right?" Charming asked, looking at Grumpy.
"Yeah, that potion to forget you", and he sighed. "Love sucks."
She laughed and her eyes flickered to rest on Emma and she stopped, her eyes widening as she watched her used her thumb to reach up and wipe the corner of Regina's eye. And just for a second, Snow didn't know what to think. But that wasn't the bit that startled her. It was the way Regina was looking at her daughter that took a toll on her mind. It wasn't the usual look that Emma got from her, that half glare mixed with displeasure. It was much deeper, almost too deep.
"Did you do that?"
"What?" she asked quickly, diverting her eyes to look at Charming.
"You threw a spoon at Happy?"
"I did", she said startled, and then she forced a smile. "He called me Wild White!"
They both began to laugh heartily, and Snow did as well, yet what she had just seen just kept bothering her.
Xx
"I didn't expect anyone to speak to me", Regina said softly, and she watched me eat. "But at least I'm glad to be here. What did they say about me showing up?"
I chewed, gestured with my fork and swallowed. "My parents wanted to know why you were here. So I told them I invited you and they asked me why. I said we have to give you a chance, plus, I trust you. So my dad said okay if you trust her then I guess we have to too. And then they asked me why I suddenly like you so much or something like that, if I had something to tell them."
"And what did you say?" she asked, her eyes widening.
"I said nah, nothing to tell", and I used my fork to cut the lasagna. "I wanted to say 'yeah actually I'm in love with her' but figured that my mother would faint and then it would ruin this party."
"I am not afraid of any of them", Regina said firmly.
"You don't have to be. They're not going to hurt you."
"Anyway, before I came through the door", she said quietly, shifting in her seat, moving closer to me, "would you believe I was nervous? I knew you were here already but I kept thinking, what if she isn't there, then they would want to know who invited me."
"Even if you came in just like that", I said chewing, "they would have assumed Henry invited you. He's here too and he'd never allow them to ridicule you. Plus Whale likes you, so does Archie."
"Recently, Whale and I have had a major fall out", she said, her dark eyes flickering to seek him out.
"What happened?" I asked, looking at her.
And she explained what had happened with Daniel and how she had brought him into this world with her. And everything that had happened at the stables.
"My goodness!" I exclaimed, staring wide eyed at her. "He brought him back?"
She nodded.
"I'm so sorry for what happened though. I guess if he succeeded in bringing Daniel back in his normal state then this between us wouldn't have happened." And suddenly I felt terribly sad, almost as if I was a last resort for her. If she had gotten Daniel back then she would have never been sitting here, loving me the way she did.
"But Daniel's gone", she said gazing at me, and then I felt her hand find its way to rest on my thigh, feeling so warm through my jeans.
"It's just that I don't want to be a rebound experiment." And I looked down at my plate, avoiding her eyes.
"But you're not that, Emma", she said leaning in, her eyes pleading with me to believe her. "You're much more than that to me. When Daniel told me to love again, I knew I had to let him go. And I just had to get you to realize how much I really loved you. All that time before I met you, I had been struggling with his loss. But when you came here, I instantly began to move past that."
"It's just that, you pushed me so hard over the edge and made me fall hard for you, finally realizing how much I love you", I said looking at her, "and I want you to know that it's not easy for me to love anyone. I can't even love my parents that easily because I hardly know them. But you, you're much more to me that I can't like, explain it."
And then Henry was at my side, taking my arm and insisting that I go join him and Archie because they were discussing NCIS. After asking Regina if she wanted to go too, and she denied, I looked at her one more time before I got up, pleading with my eyes for her to come too. But she shook her head, smiling.
"I'm fine", she said quietly.
I honestly believed that was about to change.
Xx
Watching Emma get up, Snow finally got her chance and she excused herself, her eyes set on Regina sitting all by herself. Sliding into the seat opposite her, she cleared her throat.
"HI there, Regina", she said firmly.
Regina looked up, her eyes widening when she saw Snow sitting there.
"Snow", she said in disbelief, and she half smiled. "How are…"
"What are you doing?" the other asked sternly, her eyes fixated on the older woman.
"What?" Regina asked, staring at her quizzically.
"My daughter", Snow reminded her, her eyes stormy, "I'm not blind. I see the way you look at her."
"I really don't think…"
"It has to stop", Snow said firmly, cutting Regina off. "It has to stop now, whatever it is you have in mind to do to her."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me correctly. I knew that you were up to something all this time. You will not stop at finding a way to hurt us, will you?"
"I…"
"No you listen to me!" Snow White demanded in a heavy whisper, "you took everything away from us before. And I will not let it happen again. If you only try to…" and she frowned, distastefully, "seduce Emma, and take advantage of her, I will never accept you as part of our family. So don't think that you can suddenly do that and gain my trust. You're evil. You always will be and you killed my father. I will not let you take my daughter away from me, you of all people."
For a minute, Regina just sat there staring at her, her face expression changing from shocked to anger then finally hurt. And suddenly her eyes were filled with tears.
"You will not poison Emma against me", she demanded. "I love her!"
"You are not capable of loving anyone!" Snow White declared, in shock. "Your heart is so black, and after all you did to us…"
"I'm sorry!" Regina said, her face filled with anguish. "I'm sorry for everything I did! Why can't you understand that?"
By now everyone was looking their way, their eyes wide.
"I am trying so hard to change and you refuse to accept that! I worked to bring you back here just the other day, and I have not resorted to hurting any of you since the curse has been broken. I am not the person I was before! Your daughter has changed me."
"Stay away from her", Snow said, tears forming in her eyes. "I'll give you a chance to prove yourself but you stay away from her, forget what you're feeling. If not, your limit for forgiveness is up. You wipe that growing lust you have from my daughter from your black heart and leave her alone."
Xx
"What's going on here?" I asked, quickly rushing to where Mary Margaret sat with Regina, my eyes darting from one to the other. And when I saw Regina crying, my eyes widened. "Mom?"
"Excuse me", Regina said hoarsely and she picked up her jacket from the table, then without looking at me, she slid out from where she was sitting and stood up.
"Regina", I said looking at her. But she ignored me and strode to the door, lifting her right hand to wipe her eyes, and then pulling it open, she walked out.
"What happened, mom?" I demanded, glaring at Mary Margaret. "What did you tell her?"
"Emma…she doesn't love you."
I glared at her as tears formed in my eyes.
"Of all the people in the world", I said coldly, "I'd expect my mother to understand that I'm old enough to love who the hell I want to."
"Not Regina!" she cried, pleading with me to understand her. "It's wrong!"
"Emma…" it was Charming and as he tried to take my arm, I yanked it away.
"I'm leaving", I declared angrily, and I strode to the door, pulling it open and stalking outside.
Xx
She had not gotten far. But Regina was already slipping inside her car and by the time I got to where she had parked, she had closed the door.
"Regina!" I cried, resting a hand on the roof of her car, staring inside at her.
Pushing her key in, she started the engine and ignored me, tears streaming down her face.
I rapped on the window and yet she still ignored me, putting the car into drive.
"Stop!" I shouted, pounding on the glass. "Please!" yet she slammed her foot down on the gas and the car moved against my hand, stunning me as she drove away.
I just stood there and my heart felt as if someone had ripped through it with a knife. Bending over, I gasped for air and couldn't breathe, hot tears forming in my eyes. Hearing footsteps behind me, I suddenly grew so angry that I growled. And without waiting on a second to pass me by, I sprinted across the street and slammed the key into the door.
"Emma!" it was my mother. I chose to ignore her, pulling the car door open and I hopped inside.
Pressing on the gas, the car lurched forward and into the night.
I drove like a mad woman to her house, so fast and wild that I couldn't care less. This was how fucked up my life had become in just a few days. The story of my messed up world. And then I just lost all sense of what I was doing. When I pulled up in her driveway, she was already parked there, and I quickly turned off the engine and pushed my door open. Doing the same in front of me, she got out and ran.
"Regina!" I shouted, going after her. "Just stop!"
And when she pushed her key to unlock her front door, I ran up the steps and jammed my foot to prevent the door from closing behind her as she went in. Pushing the door open, I walked in, my eyes wild and wet.
"Leave me alone", she demanded in a low voice, choosing not to look at me.
"Don't do this", I said, walking up to her. "please…" And I reached out to touch her but she pulled away, crying.
"I can't do this!" she cried, frustrated. "Please just go."
"I'm not going anywhere", I said, moving up to her, "whatever my mother said, ignore her. She doesn't understand."
I tried to wrap my arms around her but she began to lash out at me, sobbing and digging her nails into my arms. Yet I fought back, pushing her against the wall as I moved my body closer to hers, crying.
"Why are you doing this to me?" she cried. "There are so many things wrong about this and yet you think it is still right."
"I love you!" I shouted back, "I want you! I don't care about them! Fuck them!"
"You can't do this!" she said frustrated. "You can't choose your family over me!"
"They're no better", I said looking into her dark eyes. "Regina, this is my life. You said so."
"I will never be accepted by any of them no matter what I do", she said, "your parents will never accept me as family. I don't want you to choose between us", and she grabbed a hold on both of my arms, "Emma, can't you see? If you stay with me, they will not accept it."
"We will find a way", I pleaded with her, "I want to be with you!"
"Then we must hide what we feel", she said looking at me in disbelief. "We have to keep this as a secret. And it will not be easy."
I pulled her closer and caressed her hair. "Okay", I said knowing that it would definitely not be easy.
And from that day onwards, we had to fight hard to keep what was between us secret. My parents refused to understand even when I tried to press them on to accept it, and I had no choice but to be secretive about everything. I didn't want to lose my parents because of the fact that I had just gained them. Plus I couldn't stand to lose Regina either.
Yet on the ship bound for Neverland, I swear, we made the best love that night when we tricked them after starting a heated argument and then we retreated below deck to sleep [as they thought we did].
Xx
A/N – Hope you enjoyed the last chapter for this story! Up next we have a wonderful funny romantic one. FOLLOW and Review! Let us know what you think!