Disclaimer: I am still negotiating with the Ms. Meyer's layers, it's not looking good for me. She still owns it.

Chapter 10:

I read his letter over and over, at human speed and vampire speed. The words made no sense to me. He left because he loved me? How did he think that would help me? Did he not understand how much I loved him? I was willing to die for him and his family. I was willing to leave everyone, Charlie, Renee, Jacob, my friends. Everyone… for him.

I was mad at myself for not coming here earlier. I was mad at him for all I had suffered, for his stupidity. I was confused, angry and hurt.

How could all of them go along with this plan if they knew this? Did they know?

And the biggest question of all: If this was true, could I forgive him?

I took the letter and jumped out the way I came in. I ran back to La Push. I jumped in my car and dropped off my Fed Ex. It was after three o'clock. Sam Jr. would be home from school soon. I don't know why, but I had to see him.

I pulled in the driveway and saw his bus on the corner. I quickly knocked on the door. "Hey Em, it's me Bella."

"Come in Bells!"

"Hey Emily, can I take Sam Jr. for a little while? My inner child needs some attention."

"Will he be back for dinner?"

"Actually I was thinking of taking him to Chuck E. Cheese if that's ok, give you and Sam some time together."

"Of course, I haven't started dinner so you're a savior."

"You can join us if you want."

"No Sam and I will appreciate the silence."

I heard Sam Jr. walking up the driveway. "By the way, congratulations, Sam Jr. owns property. I signed everything earlier. Maybe we can tell Sam Sr. when we get back?"

"Sure... That will be fun. I hope..."

"Hi Mom, Hi Aunty Bella," said a small man walking in the door behind me.

"Hi Jr-San," I said smiling.

"Aunty Bella, San was yesterday, we don't do that anymore." He told me as he put his book bag on the hook near the front door.

"Who knew?" I said to Emily shrugging my shoulders. "Hey little dude, what do you say to going with me to the mall and to Chuck E. Cheeses?"

"Serious?" he said his eye's lighting up. "Can I Mom?"

"Of course, just don't let Aunty Bella spend too much on you."

"How much is too much?" He asked.

"If you have to ask, it's too much." She said giving him that Mom look that only Mom's seem to be able to make.

"Don't worry Sam, I'll take care of you. Go hit the bathroom and we're off." he ran off to the bathroom and shut the door.

"Bella, I'm serious, not too much." Emily said sternly.

"Would I do that?" I said innocently.

"His room is a toy store because of you."

"Oh good point, his new room will be bigger, we need more stuff... Kidding!" I yelled as Emily started to grab stuff to throw at me. Sam left the bathroom.

"Did you wash your hands?" Emily asked. His head fell and he turned around and marched back to the bathroom.

"Such a mom," I chided.

"Someone has to be, if it was up to you this house would look like a Disney ride."

"Hmmm, good idea, you know I start painting tomorrow..." Sam Jr. was walking out of the bathroom over emphasizing drying his wet hands in the air. "C'mon Sam let's run out of here before your Mom changes her mind."

We were in my car a minute later, Emily waved out at us from the door. She knew I would never drive fast with Sam in the car. I found Radio Disney on my stereo and Sam I sang along as we drove to the mall near Port Angeles.

"You hungry," I asked as we walked to the front doors.

"I'm always hungry."

"I know the feeling," I mumbled. "What would you like?"

"Pretzel, with cinnamon sugar." He said and started to run towards the pretzel store.

"Slow down killer," I said grabbing his hand. We walked quickly with him pulling my arm and ordered him a pretzel and soda. There were some tables in front and we sat at one.

"Want some?" he asked holding up a piece. His fingers and his face were already covered in cinnamon sugar.

"No thanks, I don't like cinnamon."

"How can you not like cinnamon sugar, it's sooooooo good." He made the word so go on for ten seconds.

"It's that good?" I asked.

He nodded up and down furiously.

Two men were sitting near us, and I could hear that they were talking about me but I was ignoring him. One of them walked over and sat in the empty chair at our table.

"Hi, My name is Chris, I wouldn't usually do this but, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and I don't see a ring on your finger..."

"This is my Aunt Bella," said Sam playing the little matchmaker. "She won't talk to you unless I am sure, and I don't know much about you. Do you like cinnamon sugar?"

I just laughed and looked at Chris with that "kids say the darndest thing" expression on my face.

Chris was thrown by Sam Jr., but saw his face covered in the sweet stuff so he hedged his bets.

"Yeah, I love it."

"That's too bad, Aunty Bella doesn't like it so I don't think you're a match."

I started laughing out loud, Sam Jr. was beyond cute. "Sorry Chris, you heard the judge's verdict." Chris got up and walked away. I almost felt bad for him.

"Dude we need to find you a bathroom, your face is a mess," I said as he put the final piece in his mouth.

"Do I have to go in the girl's room?"

"Nah you can go in the boy's, I will wait outside. But you have to do a good job." I knew I could hear him in there and could make sure he was safe.

After our bathroom pit stop we went to the toy store. I told Sam he could only spend 10, but I noted everything he wanted and would order some of it later. He bought a figurine, a vampire figurine. I tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn't hear of it. I dreaded seeing the look on his father's face when he saw it.

I looked at the clock and knew we needed to head to Chuck E Cheese if we were to make it back before it was too late.

For many adults Chuck E Cheese is hell. To me, it's a slice of heaven. I'm a little too tall for the ball pit but I never have a problem convincing the poor boy working it that he should let me in. Vampires can be so conniving. Sam and I played in there far longer than we were supposed to, but no one was going to ask me to leave.

His pizza was ready and he ate a double-cheese deluxe while I laughed at the faces he made. My cell phone buzzed and I saw that Alice had texted with Jasper's address. We played a bunch of video game and then Sam wanted to play one of those games where you can win tickets that can be redeemed for the cheap prizes. There was a way to get 5,000 tickets at once, which I doubted anyone ever one. Of course no one else had vampire skills. So with me holding his hands he pushed the button at the exact right time and the ball sailed in to the uppermost cylinder and lights started flashing. Sam started jumping up and down like he won the lottery, which I guess to a kid he just did.

The same acne faced teenager who was watching the ball pit walked over and congratulated us. He handed me a certificate and Sam and I walked over to the counter with all the prizes to choose from. Watching Sam decide what to spend his tickets on was incredible. I remembered how Edward used to be fascinated by things like my eating. I never understood that until know.

Sam got two boxes full of stuff including a paddleball, toy dice, to a stuffed animal for his mom, glasses for his dad, some disgusting fake bugs and balls that bounced higher than the moon, or so it claimed.

One of the attendants had to help us carry the two boxes of prizes to my car. I hoped that the rest of the junk would obscure the vampire figurine.

Sam Jr. And I headed back for La Push. Radio Disney blared from my speakers, Sam sang along.

When the DJ came on he asked me to turn it down.

"Aunt Bella, I thought about it and I don't like the guy Daddy works with, he's not good enough for you."

"Okay well I won't call him then. If you don't like him… wait why isn't he good enough for me?" I was dying to hear this, no pun intended.

"Cause if he was you might marry him." He said matter of fact.

"Oh, why don't you want me to marry him?"

"Well, if you married him then you wouldn't be my friend anymore," he said while dive-bombing a plastic army soldier into a glow in the dark octopus.

"Sam, why in the world would you say such a silly thing?"

"Uncle Jacob used to my friend, than he married Aunt Heather and now I don't see him."

Jacob was in big trouble when I got a hold of him.

The DJ stopped talking and Sam wanted the music back up. I could see him in my rearview mirror, singing and playing with his newly won toys. He had to know I loved him and wouldn't abandon him like that. Or maybe not. I never said I loved him, I always said I adored him. I didn't think I was capable of love. But I did love Sam Jr. It was a pure love, like a mother for a child. He was as close as I would ever get.

At first, I was afraid to get attached to him, because I knew someday I would have to leave. It's hard enough for adults to understand what I am, how could I explain it to a child. And more importantly he could never tell anyone. From the first moment I held him my arms, when he was so tiny, and frail and helpless and I knew at some point I would have to leave.

But he melted my cold exterior when I looked into his baby blue eyes. Even though has grown and changed over the years, his eyes always stayed the same. I got lost in his eyes when I looked in them. So innocent, so pure. Untainted by the cruelty of the world. I wished I could protect him from all the evils he would have to face, I would take all his pain if I could, all his hurt, all his heartache…

I would leave for a few years until he was old enough to understand. I prayed he would forgive me. I would write and send gifts. It wouldn't be like what Edward did to me...

That's if I was still alive. But when I was with Sam Jr. I never wanted to die. He was my little ball of happiness; his presence clouded my despair and made me forget some of the pain.

Edward's letter in my back pocket felt like it was burning a hole in my pants.