CHAPTER 10 - January 7th
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January 3td
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Cuddy looked at House as he greeted his patient with a nod and approached the nurses' counter to take another folder.
"Greg? Have you got a minute?" She called him.
He looked up at her.
"It depends, Dr. Cuddy..." he answered with a smile "If it's my boss asking me... I'm busy! For my wife... well, I could find even more than one minute..." he added with a sly smile.
Cuddy smiled and shook her head as she walked into the Clinic room with him.
"My meeting has been moved from 4 to 6 tonight ..." she said, looking at him and biting her lip "Do you think you'll be able to be at home with the girls? Or have I to call Marina?"
"If my boss doesn't find me a case, I'm free" he replied looking at her and putting an arm around her waist "Will you be late?" He asked brushing her lips.
"It's the meeting for the budget prevision of this year... I hope it d..." she didn't finish her sentence, but suddenly closed her eyes, holding her breath.
"Hey... what's wrong?" House asked seeing her turning suddenly pale and putting a hand on her stomach as she leaned against him with the other hand.
"I... I need to sit down" she whispered, leaning more against him.
House wrapped her waist tighter with his arm and helped her to sit down.
"Do you have pain?"
She nodded, holding her stomach with her hand as she slowly exhaled.
"It happened earlier?" he asked, touching her tense belly and looking at her with a worried look.
"No..." she said "...but it's going..."
She met his concerned look.
"You need to see Dr. Roberts?" He said "Or do you want me to see you?"
"She's in the OR right now..." she said "And anyway... I trust you much more..." she added.
"Okay..." he said
He looked at her as she lay down on the bed. It wasn't the first time at all for him, but it was difficult to stay objective. They hadn't wanted to know the sex of the baby... now, for him, it would have been impossible not to notice it.
"There's no fetal distress, and there are no placental abruption signs..." he said, moving the ultrasound probe "Can you see?" Cuddy looked at the monitor and nodded "But your womb is contracted... I can already prescribe you Progesterone, but you need to see even Dr. Roberts as soon as she end up in the operating room ... and you have to rest..."
She nodded.
"Yes... I need to call Wells to cancel the meeting... "she added, looking into his eyes.
...
House watched Cuddy. She was sitting on the couch, holding Grace in her arms and stroking her hair as she held her baby bottle in her tiny hands.
"Here" Rachel said running toward her mother "Above, below, behind, front... and even my tongue...Smell!" She said.
Cuddy laughed as her nostrils were flooded by a wave of mint aroma.
"Good, Honey" She said laughing "But tell Dad not to let you eat the whole toothpaste tube next time" she laughed again, glancing at House.
Rachel laughed in turn and kissed her mother on the lips.
"Come, Grace" House said reaching for her "Say goodnight to Mommy"
Grace looked at her father and then at her mother.
"No" she said putting her arms around her mother's neck and clinging more to her. No was one of the first words she had learned several months earlier. "No, ma-ma" she said with a serious look, hiding her face against her mother's shoulder.
Cuddy held her and stroked her back.
"Okay, Honey" she said meeting House's gaze "Mom is going to put you in bed..."
She puts her in her crib and tucked the blanket, letting Grace to stamp a slobbery goodnight kiss on her face.
She stroke her hair again, looking at her as she sucked on her pacifier and closed her eyes clutching her stuffed lamb.
House tucked Rachel's blanket and put the bedtime book on the bedside table meeting Cuddy's gaze as she rubbed her back.
"I know... I have to lie down" she said, leaning against the crib and anticipating his words.
House looked at her as she undresses and slipped under the covers letting out a slight smile as she stroked her five-months pregnant belly.
"Does it kick?" he asked as he lay down beside her.
"Yes" she replied as he reached out to stroke her baby bump.
As it had happened with Grace, it was a strange sensation to feel his baby moving inside her. And knowing its sex made everything more real.
"After this morning, I don't know if I can stand another four months without telling you anything, Cuddy" he said
She smiled.
"Don't tell me" she said smiling.
"Ok" he said "I'll be as silent as a fish" he said, looking away "Do you think the Mall sells newborn lacrosse outfit?" He asked her, laughing.
Cuddy glared at him and House laughed.
"I'll have one lacrosse and one ballerina outfit just to confuse your mind, ok?
Cuddy laughed and stroked his stubble kissing him lightly on the lips before suddenly putting a hand on her abdomen again as the expression on her face changed.
"Do you still have pain? " he asked feeling her belly suddenly clench under his hand. He heard her holding her breath for a moment.
"My back..." she whispered, closing her eyes and exhaling slowly.
"How bad?" he asked.
"Could you get me the pills I left in the kitchen, please?" She said avoiding eye contact.
He looked at her as he stood up and left the room. He knew that she had deliberately avoided answering his question.
He handed her a glass of water and a pill and looked at her as she closed her eyes and curled up near him, relaxing at the touch of his hand stroking her arm resting on his chest.
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January 7th
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House looked up sensing her presence on the door.
"Hi" he said "What are you doing here?"
Cuddy sat down in the chair in front of his desk.
"Dr. Roberts moved up my follow-up visit of the afternoon... but she had an emergency... she's going to call me as soon as she's free..." she said "If I'm disturbing you I can wait in my office" she added with the hint of a smile.
"You never disturb me" he said "Except when the boss-version of you comes here to force me to do more clinic duty" he added, laughing.
She laughed and nodded.
"The boss-version took a few days off... this is the wife-version... but she can be a pain in the ass too" she laughed.
"I know" he laughed in turn.
She had been better in recent days. Only occasional contractions, not particularly strong. No work. No sex. Just rest in bed or sofa. She stood up to go to the bathroom ... to eat... nothing else... just rest... complete rest.
"I need to pee" she said standing up "Remember me to put a bathroom closer to your office" she said with a smile before heading out the door.
He saw her coming back after a few minutes.
She walked in but paused before sitting down again... and House caught her gaze...
Pain suddenly hit her like a stab. Acute... radiating from her back to her belly and down along her legs. She'd already experienced that kind of pain. A little over a year earlier.
House saw her turning pale.
"Oh God..." He suddenly heard her moaning as she leaned against the chair with her hand.
House immediately stood up, moving close to her and holding her by the arm. She felt her knees give way.
"Lisa..."
She didn't answer. Her eyes were closed and she kept a hand on her stomach as her breathing was heavy and labored. She couldn't talk.
"God... no..." she heard her moan as she felt a warm liquid along her legs.
He met her gaze for a moment and froze.
"Lisa... breathe..." he said, trying to stop her from hyperventilating as she flopped to the ground unable to stand on her legs.
He left her just for a moment.
"I NEED HELP!" he shouted in the hallway before going back to her.
...
"How is she?" Wilson asked placing a hand on House's shoulder.
House shook his head and ran a hand over his face.
"She's bleeding ... she has contractions and is dilated... it's just a matter of time..." he said
Wilson shook his head.
House kept his eyes on Lisa as Dr. Roberts examined her again and the nurse added a vial into the drip. He watched her as she closed her eyes putting a hand on her forehead, trying not to think about her pain... and sorrow.
"The baby?" he asked.
House looked at him.
"There's fetal distress... but there would be nothing to do anyway... she's only 21-weeks pregnant... it's inevitable... it can't survive outside of her body" he paused, watching Lisa and then Wilson again "...in 4 or 5 weeks maybe it would have had a chance... but not now... "
"I'm sorry House..." Wilson said.
House nodded.
"I'm not worried about me... I'm worried about her..." he said "She keep begging me to do something... not to let our baby die... I can't see her like this..."
"House... she's not clear headed... she knows there's nothing you can do..."
"I know" he replied "...but I wish there is..."
Wilson looked at his friend. Powerless in front of his wife's sorrow and his own sorrow...
He saw Dr. Roberts approach them.
"House... please... may we talk?"
He nodded his head.
"I increased the analgesic dosage... but she's losing a lot of blood..." she said, placing her hand on his arm "It's already several hours... she's not clear headed... I know it's not easy to take this decision but there is no other choice... we can wait for nature to take its course, or I'm going to do it right now... In any case, the fetus is too small to survive... and Lisa's hemoglobin is already 9...and it's falling ... I wouldn't take this risk, House... " she said, looking into his eyes.
House licked his lips and bit his lip as he look up at Cuddy again. He nodded and took the folder from Dr. Roberts's hands putting his signature on the consent form.
"Do it now" he said handing her the folder and walking out of the door.
...
"House"
Wilson stood in the door frame of House's office. House was by back and he didn't turn toward him as he heard his voice.
"Are you ok?" He asked approaching him "I thought you were with Lisa..."
House still didn't turn.
"She's still on sedation..." he said
"Ok... I'm in my office, House... call me for... everything..." he said, knowing that he wanted to be alone "...everything ..." he repeated, turning and leaving his office.
House nodded but again didn't turn. He ran a hand over his face as he heard his friend's footsteps going away and stood up looking out of the window.
Lisa hadn't needed surgery. In the end Nature had done its course. But he had asked to sedate her immediately after... she wasn't in the mental state to stand the sight of that tiny lifeless body.
He still saw that tiny body in front of his eyes. For a moment the irrational part of him had hoped... He knew it was impossible... He knew that even if it would be born alive it couldn't have lived more than a few minutes... maybe a couple of hours... he knew it...
He thumped a fist on the wall, but that pain didn't minimally nicked the grief he felt inside him. For his wife. For his unborn child. He breathed deeply and looked up rolling his eyes to stop his tears from falling, before walking out of his office.
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Cuddy opened her eyes. She felt as if she had slept for months. The light outside the window was dim ... it was still early in the morning ... She looked at the IV in her arm... and slightly turned her head toward the chair beside her hospital bed. House was there, his head tilted back, asleep.
She remembered the look on his face as she flopped on his office floor... and the one he had had when he had realized what was going on... and she closed her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek.
She opened her eyes again, biting her lip... and met the blue of his eyes...
Again she saw the look she had seen in his eyes the night before...
She remembered every moment of that night, but the images in her mind were not clear... they were hazed... as if it wasn't real... but it was... and she knew it...
She put a hand over her face as she closed her eyes and turned her head away, unable to hold his gaze.
She hadn't even seen her child... she knew that he had wanted to protect her preventing her from doing it... but now... she didn't want to talk about it... she didn't want to know... she just wanted to close her eyes and disappear.
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Sorry about this chapter! It was provided since the first chapter but I have to admit that it was hard to write this... I'll make amend! I promise.