Chapter 10

why do idiots fall in love

Disclaimer: I do not own anything stated in this chapter

Completely ignoring Henri and his plummit to his doom we should cut to James

"so honey it is valintines day this is why we were on a date" Ashley said

"oh...whew...I thought I was getting the I'm pregnant talk..Thank God" James said with relief

"no...at least I hope not..anyway...I wanted to know how much do you love me?" Ashley said

"about as much as a black hole is wide" James said

"uh..James..honey..black holes are the size of pen points" Ashley said

"no shit?" James said amazed

"nevermind that question...oh shit it my ex-boyfriend Leon" Ashley said looking over at the front door of a restraunt I forgot to mention they were in

"huh where" James said as Leon walked up

"oh hi Ashley" Leon said casually

"oh hi Leon...you dick" Ashley said

"oh not this again" Leon said

"what?" James asked

"she thinks I was cheating on her but we" Leon started to say

"you broke my heart leon" Ashley said

cue sad music

do do do do

cut sad music

"WE NEVER WERE TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Leon screamed

"don't lie leon you cheated on me with Hunnigan" Ashely said

"I never slept with her either" Leon said

"she told me all about it" Ashley said

"wait aren't you that guy who is married to my cousin Ada Wong?" James asked

"yes I ...oh hey James it's you" Leon said remembering James

"you two know each other?" Ashley asked

"yeah we have met" Leon said

(BE) flashback

it is 5 years prior at Leon's wedding and of corse James is there with Walter

"I would like to propose a toast" James said

"I have never seen a couple who do it more than my dear cousin and mr...uh..I forget his name...I would like to point something out though...I'M WASTED!" James screamed before passing out

"uhh don't mind him I'll just stuff him in the nearest closet you know till he sobers out" Walter said dragging James off

about 30 minuets later

"are you in here?" a female voice asked

"uh huh" James said with a hangover

"good let me just get undressed" the lady said

"o.k" James said seeing this turn into his favor

"good let's get started" the lady said

"o.k" James said

"ada are you in there yet?" Leon asked

"huh?" James said

"Leon then who is this?" Ada said turning on the light

"JAMES!" Ada said in shock

"ADA! WHAT THE HELL!" James said

there Ada was standing naked and James ans only in his underwear

"I think I am gonna puke" Leon said

"son of a bitch" Frank said walking up

"what is going oh here?...oh my god" Walter said walking up to the closet

"hey guys are we gonna cut the cake?...I'll come back later" Ada's father said walking up

(BE) back to the present

"so James you were going to bang your cousin?" Ashley asked

"only because I thought she was a hot bridesmaid confusing me for someone else" James said

"yeah and Ada had to get therapy for about half a year" Leon said

"did I ask you you cheating bastard" Ashley said

"Yeah actually you did" Leon said

"you still cheated on me...James I lied he actually took my virginity" Ashley said

"I don't think so I mean before he married Ada I thought he was Gay..actually I still think he is gay" James said

"thanks...I guess" Leon said

"come on Ashley it feel way to Resident Evil 4 in here..let's go back to my place"James said as they got up to leave the camera panned over to Salaazar saddler and Mendez and Krauser were sitting at a table

"what is his problem?" Krauser asked

"he is probobably gay" Salaazar said

"yeah you would know you homo" Saddler said

"screw you I'm not putting up with this shit" Salazaar said getting up and leaving

(BE) to henri

"I think I have been falling for about a week now...I wonder what is at the bottom" Henri said

THUD

he landed above where he came out from the first floor

"damn you law of gravity" Henri said getting up

"I think I need to get in the Hole that was placed in that last room" Henri said crawling back to the room with the hole

(BE) back to the base

"I think that Henri will kill himself before he even get's to the next victim" Walter said

"I bet he makes it" Kuja said

door slams

"Oh good James you're home" Walter said not even looking at the person who entered

"I'm not James" a voice said

"there is no way in hell" Walter said

"oh there is a way...now we are going to kick your ass" another voice said

it was a severley burnt Schrieberjoe and Megfallow

"you left us to die your son of a bitch" Mefallow said holding a bat in her hand

"and you didn't answer my question asshole" Schrieberjoe said also holding a bat

"yeah Walter shame on you" Kuja said

"Kuja you left us in there to...and you know water in ice magic" Megfallow said

"oh yeah...uhh...about that...er...RUN WALTER RUN!" Kuja screamed as he took off running but was caught and almost beaten to death my megfallow

"oh I couldn't hurt you kuja" Megfallow said

"thank you sweet jesus" Kuja said happy he was then hit in the sise of the face by Megfallows bat

"I lied" Megfallow said

and schrieberjo began kick a bloody walter who was crying on the ground

"sweet carnage...I love moments like this" I said

(BE) back in room 302

Henri who without any explination was back in his bed

"I'm just not going to ask" Henri said

"I think I...don't have anything important to do here...damnit why did I come back then" Henri said as he truged back to the hole

(BE) torcher time

richard had just woken up

"ow my ass hurts really bad" Richard said holding his buttox

"hey richard I need your help" Eileen screamed across the apartment

"what do you want bitch" Richard said

"I came here to make you some dinner for an apology but I dropped something down in your drain" Eileen said

"oh all right let me get it" Richard said walking over to the drain

" thanks I need your help" Eileen reached over and...grabbed an apple

"apple?" Eileen asked cheerfully

"no thanks..ah here it is" he pulled out a ring

"thank you I was worried that I lost it forever" Eileen said

"what were you making?" Richard asked

"chicken" Eileen said

"oh goody" Richard said ignorant to the fact that Eileen had been making his life hell for the whole time he had lived here

"hey do you have any ketchup?" she asked

"yeah" Richard said

"where is it" Eileen asked

"in the closet" Richard said

"why?" she asked

"no clue" richard said as he walked into the closet

"hmmm ah here it is" Richard said

"good because the chicken is done" Eileen said

so after a nice dinner

"that was good well I gotta go" Eileen said getting up

"oh allright" Richard said

"bye" Eileen said as she left

"now where was I" Richard asked himself

"Hey richard come here" Eileen said from outside the apartment

"forget somethinggggggggg" Richard screamed as he fell into a hole full of rabinous lions

"DAMN YOU WOMAN DAMN YOU" Ricahrd screamed

(BE) back to ther prison

"now that I am in the basement where should I go" Henri said

he had climed down the stairs where he was repeatedly bitch slapped by wall monsters

"hey look at this" Henri said walking up to a sign with a key on it might as well look for a locked door

(BE) to the base

"Hey guys are you home?" James said looking

"are they here?" Ashley asked

"surprisingly not" James said

"so what doyou wanna do?" Ashley asked

"got thirty seconds?" James asked

"you bet let's go" Ashley and james run twords the bedroom

Kuja and Walter have been strung from the roof by there feet

"do you think he even saw us?" Kuja asked

"probably not" Walter said

"who do you think that was with him...do you think that was his girlfiend" Kuja asked

"no...but if she is she is either really stupid...or just really REALLY horny" Walter said

"well she is hot though" Kuja said

"yeah but she is probably a man" Walter said

(BE) to henri

"so this key was to the second floor eh..well whats behind door number one?" Henri asked

"looks normal enough...I guess I should leeeaaavvveee" He screamed as he fell down a hole

"son of a bitch!" He screamed before he hit the bottom and passed out

END OF CHAPTER

Happy early valintines day now time for some questions

"todays question comes from megfallow"

"herni did you steal my Alice in chains CD?"

Henri: of course not

Darkcomet: then what are you listining to?

Henri:uhh JILL in chains yeah..they do the same songs see (pulls out an Alice in chains CD with the Words Alice marked out and Jill wrote in)

Darkcomet:that is a pretty crappy cover up henri and I'm pretty sure Megfallow can kick your ass

Walter: don't worry she can

Kuja:when is someone going to ask me a question...I am pretty sure I am better than these guys anyway

Walter: hey buddy watch it

James: no he's right

Darkcomet: I agree so please ask kuja a question..the way things look where I live I won't have school today so read and review fast because..I may update today..and again any Anonomis readers..please voice your opinions (unless you are like that Dante guy) I would love to hear your questions don't be embarresed..I am the one who is listining to Dreams of Absolution here...so please..but if you don't want I won't hate you...how about this the first hmmm..3 anonomis reviewers get to beat down James in this story