Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: Thanks to Jax713 for pre-reading and to mcc101180 for beta-ing.
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"Is that what you're wearing?"
"What's wrong with it?" I ask, looking down at my outfit. It is what I've been wearing all day.
It's a fucking sweater.
"It has holes in it."
"And?" Who cares?
I really don't see what the problem is. It's a piece of clothing. It meets its purpose.
"Are you making a fashion statement? You do know grunge was over twenty years ago? I know you live in Seattle and all, but I'm not digging the Kurt Cobain look... at all."
"You're making me regret bringing you to this," I groan.
I'm starting to get pissed, actually. Finding what to wear on a Friday night is never a problem. Never— except when she's here.
"Okay, okay... let's go then."
"It's just beers with Em and Rose, relax."
I run a hand through my hair and decide it's being particularly unmanageable today, so I just throw a beanie on to cover it.
"You know, Edward, it wouldn't hurt to wash your hair once in a while. How are you going to meet any cute girls?"
Here we go again…
"Alice, would you get off my case? I don't want to meet anybody."
At least once a month, my cousin, Alice, comes to visit me. She likes to keep an eye on me. She never trusts me when I say I'm fine over the phone when she calls me, several times a week.
It's endearing, but extremely annoying.
I know she means well. She and my aunt and uncle are all the family I have. I love them dearly; I just don't need to be taken care of anymore.
To make matters worse, in addition to Emmett, Alice is on a mission to find me a mate. She takes it personally that I am still single, and she reminds me of it... constantly.
"Okay, okay. I'm zipping it," she says, sensing my lack of patience.
"I really doubt you are able to."
How it is possible that Alice and I are related is beyond me… She is absolutely unable to keep her mouth shut for long periods of time.
Well, at least she doesn't stammer.
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A/N: Ohai, Alice!
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