Thursday, October 31st, 2002

Chris raised the pen he was writing with, tapping his chin with it as he looked down at what he had written so far…

I know you must think I'm a coward, and I guess I deserve it. I deserve whatever you think of me at this point…

No, he decided as he ripped the page out of his notebook and crumpled it up. He tossed it over to the pile that was growing on his side as he frowned and started over on a fresh page.

It's been three months since I've talked to you… and I miss you. I miss you so much…

He growled low in his throat as he ripped up the page, crumpling it as his hand tightened to a fist. He closed his eyes as he leaned back against the wall in his locker room, raising his fist clenching the rejected paper up to his mouth. Why was this so difficult for him to write?

Because she hates me and I'm wasting my time, he thought bitterly to himself as he angrily threw his notebook and pen to the side. He sighed and ran a hand through his loose hair, wondering why he still wasted his time on her…

Just then, Christian strolled into the locker room he was sharing with Chris for the house show that night. His eyes narrowed angrily when he saw that his tag team partner was sitting up against the wall, looking particularly distraught… and there was only one person who could make him look that way. Christian didn't know who the girl was, but he did know that this was getting old, and he decided to do something about it.

"Yo CJ, our match is next." He said in a friendly tone, but he was ignored. Christian rolled his eyes as he made his way over to him.

But Chris didn't notice, instead going over and picking up his fallen notebook and pen. He plopped back down on the floor and immediately flipped to a fresh page as he started to coin his thoughts…

I need you…

"Chris, did you hear what I said?" He heard Christian ask, but he continued to write…

… I hope you know that, that you're everything…

Suddenly, the page was gone. Chris blinked for a second, before realizing that his notebook had been snatched from him, unceremoniously interrupting his train of thought. He was on his feet in an instant, glaring at Christian who was now holding his notebook, a smirk on his face.

"Give that back right now, Christian," Chris seethed, clenching his fists, although Christian was already reading what he had written. Chris silently commended himself for not writing her name down, especially when his tag team partner started laughing…

"You're everything?" Christian snorted in amusement, not noting the embarrassed shade of red that his friend was turning. He shook his head and dropped the notebook on the floor. Chris instinctively went to pick it up, when Christian grabbed his arm. "Leave it alone! I'm sick and tired of this, Jericho! Who the fuck is this girl that has you so whipped, huh?"

Chris scowled at him, but didn't say a word as Christian shook his head.

"This girl's got your head in the wrong place, man," Christian stated, poking his partner in the chest for emphasis. "We're the world tag team champions, Jericho, and you, you've got a title shot at Survivor Series in the elimination chamber match! If you're not focused, you'll never get that title back! Instead of strategizing, you're over here moping over some broad!"

"What the fuck do you know about it?" Chris snarled, even though he found himself agreeing with every word that Christian just said.

"Nothing, Jericho, because this is all I know." Christian said, raising the two tag team championship belts in front of Chris's face. "I focus on winning, not on wooing some girl who isn't gonna help me win my damn matches!"

Chris flinched at the words, suddenly remembering the things he had said to Stephanie after that triple threat match back in March… he didn't get a chance to feel guilt before Christian thrust his belt at him.

"I got it shined for you," he said, frustrated as he turned and headed towards the door. "Now are you coming to help me defend our title, or are you gonna keep writing letters to your mystery woman?"

"You're right," Chris said in a low voice after a moment to digest his friend's words. He looked down at his title belt. "You're right, I need to focus on what's important."

Christian smirked. "Exactly, come on man, you can have any girl you want anyways."

Chris forced a smile. "Yeah, you're right…" he agreed as he followed Christian out of the locker room.

Any girl, except the one I need the most…

Stephanie sat in her office in her witch costume, taking a break from the Halloween party going on, as she twirled a small, rather worn card around in her fingers while she gazed into space. From time to time, her thoughts would go back to him… well, almost all of the time, she would think about him. It had been three months since she'd last seen him in person… sometimes, she just wanted to know how he was doing on Raw and if he was happy these days, to just see what he was doing.

Sure, she saw him on Raw every Monday… but it wasn't like she was looking for him or anything. She had to watch Raw because Eric Bischoff was her competition, it came in the cards to scout the show, and he just happened to be on the show…

She sighed and stopped twirling the card as she reread his small message that he had left her in that bouquet ages ago, or so it seemed to her. She didn't know why she kept the card with her when at that point, she had the note on it memorized. But she did… and whenever the urge came to her to see him, to call him, to just go to him, she would go back to the card. It strengthened her resolve each time…

Her resolve to let him go.

Three months, and not a word between them. She had given him the benefit of the doubt, thinking he'd come to her some day, some night, any night… she would have welcomed him back wholeheartedly, forgiving everything if she could just see him look at her the way that always gave her butterflies in her stomach. If she could hear his laugh that drove her crazy because it was so infectious, if she could just feel him again, his strong hands, his smooth hair, his sweet lips… it would have all been worth it, and she had been so ready for him…

But time came and went, and he never came. They say actions spoke louder than words, and Chris had spoken loud and clear. He was done…

Stephanie sighed, putting the card back into her back pocket where she always kept it as she stood up. Sooner or later, she was going to move on and forget about him.

For her sanity's sake, she had no real choice.

"Stephanie." Came a voice from the door, making her look up. There was a man standing there in a Scream mask. Stephanie looked at the man suspiciously.

"Kurt?" She asked, trying not to sound amused. "Is that you?"

He removed the mask and smiled at her sheepishly, making her laugh. She was thankful for the interruption, thankful to get her mind off of the Canadian that haunted her thoughts too much for her own liking.

"Hey Steph, what are you doing in here? There are some killer costumes at the party, why don't you come have some fun instead of being such a workaholic for a change?" He asked, putting his mask back on.

"You know, that's a good idea." She said with a smirk as she walked over to him. He took in her witch costume and also smirked, unbeknownst to her since he still had the mask on. "I need to have some fun for a change…"

"Yeah, you do."

"Hey Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Love the mask."

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Christian exclaimed, putting an arm over Chris's shoulders as they walked back towards their locker room. Chris nodded, an easy smile on his face.

"Yeah, that was awesome," he agreed. For the first time in what felt like forever, he had finally wrestled without Stephanie on his mind. And it had paid off big time, with him and Christian both dominating their opposition. It was just too bad it wasn't televised, but he didn't care. He finally felt like he had regained at least a semblance of normalcy on that night, and it was so incredibly relieving to him.

He was finally starting to heal.

"See what I was telling you?" Christian asked, patting Chris on the back. "All you had to do was focus, and now look at you! You'll be unstoppable at Survivor Series, and then you'll be wearing double gold!"

"Hell yes junior, I'm gonna eliminate two guys from that elimination chamber! No, three even!" Chris cried out, for the first time legitimately excited about his title shot opportunity. He had been patient, and now he was being rewarded. How stupid had he been to keep wasting time on Stephanie when he was getting a main event spot at Survivor Series, one of the biggest pay-per-views of the year?

Christian smiled at the excitement in his voice, finally glad to see his friend somewhat back to normal. And the night was only going to get better – he was going to make sure that Chris had a good time, and didn't go back to moping over some broad who probably didn't even deserve him.

"And a tag team champion, former world heavyweight champion, and future world heavyweight champion, well, such a champ deserves a treat." Christian said as he opened the door to the locker room, Chris on his heels.

"What are you talking… about…" Chris's voice trailed as he saw who else was in the locker room waiting for them as Christian once again put an arm over his shoulders.

"They're fit for kings, no?" Christian asked with a huge smirk on his face. Chris just nodded as he took in the two girls who were waiting for them. They looked hot, if not slutty and they just screamed easy. He watched as Christian headed over to one of them and immediately started hitting on her, before the other girl walked up to him.

He studied her for a moment. She had curly blonde hair, and was wearing a rather… revealing halter top as she also studied him, licking her lips as she did. He raised an eyebrow at that.

"Hi, I'm Angie," she said provocatively as she smiled at him. He took her in again. She was hot, yes, but he couldn't fully appreciate her beauty when he only had one girl on the brain. Chewing his gum, he looked back up at her and nodded.

"Nice to meet you," he said with an air of indifference as he walked around her. He shot a look at Christian, who was already making out with the other girl on the bench in the room. Grimacing at the sight, he went and took a seat on the sofa, spreading one arm out on the back of it as he picked up the remote in his other hand, immediately turning on the TV and putting it on UPN, cursing that it was on a commercial.

Sure, he was getting his focus back, but that didn't mean he couldn't see her every week, right? He shifted around a bit, getting comfortable as Angie sat down next to him.

"You are so handsome," she whispered into his ear, making him snort in amusement.

"I know," he said arrogantly as he popped his gum. He closed his eyes when he felt her hands on him, feeling her rub his bare chest as she trailed her hands lower and lower… he caught her hand before she could touch him where she was aiming and gave her an intrigued look.

"Look, Amanda --"

"It's Angie," she corrected with a smile. He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he snapped. "I'm really not in the mood to do this with you right now."

"You're not gay, are you?" she asked, her eyes widening. He laughed out loud at the claim, before shaking his head, the amusement clear in his eyes. She tilted her head as she looked at him. "Then what's wrong?"

"I just… there's already a girl for me," he reasoned, frowning as he popped another bubble with his gum.

"Oh, you're taken?"

He blew a particularly large bubble, before popping it and chewing his gum angrily. Her eyes widened in sympathy as she put two and two together, before snuggling closer to him.

"Oh sweetie, I'll make you feel better…" she purred as she leaned in to kiss his neck. He sighed heavily, closing his eyes. He could have this girl in two seconds flat, lying and screaming his name until he couldn't take it anymore, and yet this thought didn't intrigue him in the slightest. Her kissing was hitting the right spots, and she obviously knew what she was doing… and yet, he felt nothing.

Damn you for ruining me, Stephanie McMahon…

"It looks like Scott Steiner's going to sign with Raw!" The man said as Stephanie stared at him. He was wearing a Vince McMahon mask, but that was not her father's voice. When John Cena had informed her that her father was in her office, well, call her crazy, but she had expected her father, not someone wearing a mask of her father…

Yet the words the man spoke were pissing her off. How dare whoever this was come into her office on her show and claim that Scott Steiner, perhaps the biggest free agent of the day, was going to sign to her opposition!

She had lost enough with the talent raids from Raw, and she was not going to lose again… Looking as confident as ever, she folded her arms over her as she gave the man in front of her a cool gaze.

"And how do you know this for sure?" she demanded, watching the man with a careful eye. He raised his hand to his mask and took it off, and Stephanie's eyes widened when she found herself staring at Eric Bischoff. How in the hell did he always sneak around on her show, like some kind of damn rodent that she could just not kill?

"I know, because I'm the one who's going to sign him!"

Stephanie went to respond, but she never got the chance since Bischoff grabbed her and pulled her to him in a rough kiss. She squealed against him and hit his shoulders, feeling disgust rake her body as he forced his tongue into her mouth. She continued to resist, when all of a sudden, only one thought came to her mind.

I hope you're watching this, Chris Jericho…

And with that in mind, she gave up her defenses as she moaned against Bischoff's mouth, no longer protesting his kiss as he bent her over on her own desk…

Stephanie pulled away from Bischoff somewhat reluctantly as the two gazed at each other. Moments later, she wiped at her mouth, before spitting out in disgust as he glared at her.

"What, do I repulse you?" he sneered, to which she gave him a fake smile.

"Thank you for that, you never know who's watching," she said in fake sweet voice. "But if you ever touch me like that again, so help me Bischoff, I will have my father fire you, do you understand me!"

"You wish I'd touch you again," Bischoff said with a laugh, before exiting her dressing room. She growled in frustration, holding her head as she walked over and collapsed into the chair to her desk.

Why had she done that? It was a spur of the moment, spontaneous, almost rash decision to get even with Chris Jericho, who she wasn't even sure was watching. At the thought of him, she took out the card from her pocket and reread it, until she couldn't read through her blurred and teary vision…

I did what I had to do, she reminded herself as she fought the tears from falling. She had cried enough over that man, and she was tired of crying over him. She was tired of the hurt that his very name brought to her body. Slowly and almost painfully, she crumbled up the note that had been her last link to him, not helping the tear that escaped her when she did.

She had to remove him from her system.

A nerve twitched under Chris's left eye when he saw Bischoff put his hands on Stephanie and force him to kiss her.

But when he saw her start to willingly kiss him back, the Canadian saw blood red.

Angie stopped caressing him when she noticed that he had grown unbelievably tense. She looked up at him, but he was just staring straight at the TV, a fire swirling in his blue eyes… she was about to ask what was wrong when Christian's loud laugh interrupted her train of thought.

"Oh my God!" Christian exclaimed, the other girl sitting on his lap as they watched Bischoff kiss Stephanie over her desk. "What a fucking whore…"

That was the straw on the camel's back for Chris Jericho.

He stood up so fast that Angie almost fell off the sofa as he stalked over to Christian who was still laughing. With one hand, he roughly shoved the girl that was on him off him, making her land on the floor with a thud. Christian looked up angrily but got no chance to say anything before Chris hauled him up to his feet and rammed him into the lockers behind him, putting his forearm almost brutally into his neck as he pinned him back into the lockers.

"Take that back," Chris commanded in a low and dangerous tone, breathing heavily as he pulled his right hand back into a fist. Christian's eyes widened when he saw his friend's eyes… his blue eyes that shone with fury and an intense pain all at once. "Take that back right now!" Chris snarled as he got into Christian's face.

"Jericho, relax!" Christian said, trying to loosen the ever-so-tightening grip Chris had on his neck. But his tag team partner was having none of it, his face turning red from his anger as his breathing came out in short breaths. Chris clenched his fist tighter, his eyes darkening.

"Don't make me fucking say it again," he warned in Christian's face as he felt one of the girl's pulling at him and trying to tell him to let go. But he couldn't hear it, he couldn't digest any of it, because there was only one question running through Chris Jericho's mind in that one instant.

How could she do that to him?

"Oh my God," Christian sputtered as he stared at Chris, who was shaking from anger. "Oh my God, the girl is Stephanie. It's Stephanie, isn't it? Isn't it?"

"So what if it is!" Chris shot back, before shoving Christian back again into the lockers. "So fucking what, huh? What's your fucking point!"

"My point is that you've been wasting your time on a girl who's already moved on!" Christian said, before shoving Chris angrily away from him. Chris stumbled a step or two back as he glared at Christian, who was undeterred. "You saw it yourself, Chris! She doesn't give a shit about you, now does she? And you're getting mad at me about it? Get a fucking grip man!" he cried out, holding his throat gingerly with one hand.

"Are you okay?" Christian's girl asked him, and he nodded, sending Chris a dirty look as he grabbed her hand.

"I'm fine, no thanks to my wonderful tag team partner," he spat out sarcastically as he pulled her over to the door. Before he left, he looked back at Chris, who still hadn't moved. "Oh and Jericho, don't come after me until you get your head out of your ass about someone who couldn't care less about you."

Angie watched Christian leave, before looking back at the Canadian that still stood silently in the middle of the locker room. He had his eyes closed as he tried to control his temper, but she could tell he was ready to snap…

No sooner had she thought this when Chris's eyes snapped open and he lost it. Everything in his sight, he heaved to the wall as he cursed obscenities endlessly… he knocked over the sofa, he threw the TV against the wall, he even threw his title belt bitterly at the wall. Angie felt like she was frozen to the spot, completely terrified of the irate blonde man in front of her. Slowly, she tried to escape his path of destruction by inching over to the door.

She only got to open the door an inch or two when his hand came out from behind her and closed it again. She gulped, but he spun her around to face him before she could make a run for it. Her words died at her lips when she saw the glistening of angry and bitter tears in his eyes…

"You wanted a piece of me?" he asked in a tone she couldn't quite decipher. She tilted her head in confusion but never got the chance to respond before he leaned in quickly and caught her lips with his, pressing his body close to hers. She moaned against his mouth and wrapped her arms around him, loving the way he expertly kissed her. But when she tasted a salty tear at the corner of his mouth, she pulled away.

"What about the girl?" she asked with a bit of trepidation. The last thing she wanted was for him to snap at her the way he had with his tag team partner. She gazed into his blue eyes that told her a story… a story that he was done living as he offered her a small smirk through his unshed tears, running one hand teasingly down her body, the same way he had one time done with Stephanie... she shuddered, and he kissed her again.

"I'm moving on," he mumbled against her lips, blinking back his tears as he reached his breaking point. "I'm moving on…"