Phoenix Love

by Kaleidoscopewriter

In 1960 a baby is left on the doorstep of Marius Black. Her name is Hermione, she has strange markings on her back, strong wandless magic and seer like abilities. Shes an object of mystery, greed and power to all of those around her and as time goes on many will covet her and she will make choices that will define the future. REVISED!

10. The unbecoming

Chapter 10: The unbecoming

The feeling of being watched by a number of unblinking quiet portraits made Hermione shift uncomfortably in her chair across from the headmaster.

That and the fact that she had been sitting in awkward silence since the moment she arrived five minutes ago...Dumbledore had offered her some pastries that she declined and was now sitting there chewing away at his treat merrily as she just sat there stewing in apprehension.

Was this perhaps some sort of punishment? To make her sit there and think about all the possible horrendous things she could have done to land herself a meeting with the headmaster... Was she going to be expelled for hexing James, Remus, Peter and Sirius? Because she felt that would be rather unfair after all they had done in the past years... or was it for confunding Lucius because she was pretty sure she didn't mean to really do that...or at least he definitely deserved it with his reputation. Or maybe it was worse... maybe it was to do with the time turner and her strange 'visions'... Was she perhaps unintentionally going back in time without her realizing, but that couldn't be it either because she was always present when in she got them, Lily had to wake her from them all the time... But there were still those lingering doubts in her mind making her panic as all the while Dumbledore just chewed and chewed and chewed.

"Headmaster... er..." Hermione started before chickening out, not wanting to be rude. Dumbledore finally swallowed and smiled in that old cooty way of his.

"Yes, Ms. Black?" he asked pleasantly as Hermione shifted in her seat.

"I was wondering if you could tell me why you requested to see me, sir?" she continued un-surely as Dumbledore's blue eyes seemed to laugh at her with silent mirth.

"Well you're here as a sort of progress report, of course!" he responded as Hermione froze in her seat for a second before her body seemed to deflate in relief.

"About classes with the time turner?" she clarified as he nodded.

"Why, yes Ms. Black...unless, that is, if you feel you have something to tell me?" he said, his penetrating blue eyes peering at her with a knowing look in his eyes that made Hermione gulp audibly.

"No sir! Nothing at all!" she responded quickly. Dumbledore's gaze lingered on her for a moment before he nodded more to himself than her.

"Alright, if you're sure Ms. Black... then I suppose you should tell me about your experience with the turner so far." he said, sitting back in his seat as Hermione felt she could breathe normally again.

"Well, everything is going as expected, sir. There hasn't been any sightings or speculations as of yet..."

"That's dandy Ms. Black just dandy." he said with a wily smile; a pause followed suit with Dumbledore sitting there and Hermione feeling awkward again. "and the workload...is it too much to handle?"

"It can be at times, sir but all in all not too bad. I definitely can handle it."

"Smashing! I would think nothing less of you Ms. Black." Dumbledore said and Hermione felt she believed him. "Are you sure you don't want a pastry? I can assure you they are delightful!" he asked making Hermione pause for a second at the abrupt turn of conversation.

"Er, well if you insist." Hermione finally conceded, reaching out to take a pastry. She was surprised when her hand bumped onto the tray and it all toppled down to the floor.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Headmaster!" Hermione cried as she immediately went down to the floor and gathered up the pastries.

"Not to worry, not to worry! There's no harm done! I really should cut back on the treats anyway." Dumbledore responded pleasantly as Hermione placed the fallen tray back onto Dumbledore's desk, her eyes catching glimpse of a strange basin lying in a conspicuous arch on the wall diagonal from where she stood.

She eyed it curiously for a moment, her mind prickling with a feeling of deja-vu.

"Headmaster, if you don't mind my asking, what is that strange basin over there?" Hermione asked as Dumbledore's gaze followed her pointed finger, an imperceivable smile gracing his face.

"Why, that would be a pensieve, Ms. Black. Have you heard of them?" he asked as he turned back to her. Hermione's eyes narrowed in thought for a moment before she answered as if in class.

"A pensieve is a sort of memory recording device, I believe... You can take whatever memory you wish to recall, place it in the basin and view it in great detail, as if you were right back in that memory. It is convenient to examine any details you might have missed or been forgotten with the passing of time or view an occurrence you might have missed when you were focused on something else during the actual time of the memory. Said memories, if you wish, may be bottled up in vial containers to help keep the memory on file without actually having to recall it in your mind." Hermione responded as Dumbledore beamed.

"All correct, as expected of the brightest witch of her age! Ten points to Gryffindor!" he said as Hermione blushed and smiled.

"Thank you Headmaster. I am curious, though. Pensieve's are so hard to come by..."

"Yes, they are rather rare but I happen to know the fellow who invented the theory of memory restoration and abstraction and helped him achieved the means to create the pensieves structure..." Dumbledore announced as Hermione's eyes bulged with impressed surprise.

"That is quite impressive, Headmaster." Hermione said as Dumbledore smiled kindly.

"I thank you for the compliment, Ms. Black! I assure you, it is a feat I am quite proud to be a part of! But enough about that, I'm sure you need some time to prepare for your lessons. I will not be insulted if you wish to go back to Gryffindor tower! I am only sorry that you did not get to eat the delicious cockroach pastry!" he said as Hermione shook her head.

"I have a firm belief that sweets before bedtime will only lead to cavities, sir." Hermione responded as Dumbledore inclined his head.

"I commend your self-control!" he said as Hermione smiled, showing off perfectly white even teeth. "I'm afraid I don't have the same restraint..."

Hermione's eyes drew to the pensieve ve once more as she neared the exit. It stood impressively inside the arch and Hermione could see the little stoppers lining up the entire shelf of a rather large cabinet beside it, the murky wisps of memories flowing endlessly in its restraints. She wondered for a minute on the number of vials she saw there before she gave a parting gesture to Dumbledore and slipped through the door. For some reason, his comment on restraint followed her all the way back to the tower.

...+_+... Day 101

Brown eyes snapped open with the fluttering of thick long eyelashes.

It took Hermione a full minute for the panic to settle down; time in which she had just stared up at the canopy above her, heart-shaped lips parted with her pants, her heart hammering in her chest and body paralyzed with the usual fear at the same love room nightmare she's been having.

When she recovered, she sat up tiredly from her bed and threw her skinny bare legs over the side. She sat there bracing herself for a few minutes, her eyes staring over at the outline of Lily sleeping in the darkness. She felt envious of the girls undisturbed slumber...she couldn't remember the last time she had gotten a decent night's rest. Not since she started attending Hogwarts, anyway.

At least it was a beautiful night with the moon shining through their bedroom windows in a gentle majestic manner, the only fault was that it was slightly chilly but Hermione welcomed it against her hot, disturbed skin. She knew sleep would not befall her anytime soon, so she grabbed her wand from the bedside table and decided to do some reading in the common room where she would not disturb her fellow roommates.

Hermione crept out of the room and into the common room in stealthy silence and plopped down onto the couch in front of the empty fireplace. She sat there for a long time reading from her transfiguration textbook and that's when she heard it, the sound of footsteps approaching. She stiffened as the sound of the feet on stairs got closer and closer and she turned slightly where she lay on the couch to watch the boys staircase.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all came down the stairs as quietly as possible. It was almost comical to see their faces exerting such control to not speak and remain quiet.

For a moment she contemplated speaking up, asking them what the bloody hell they were all doing up at such a time but decided against it. She knew that if she announced her presence and questioned them that they would abort their mission and try to dismiss her and she would not stand for it this time. No, she was going to get answers, so instead of speaking she just remained as still as she possibly could and disillusioned herself with an advanced spell non-verbally. She did it just in time too since Remus had just looked at the spot she no longer appeared to be in and froze for a moment. She watched with abated breath as he stared at the spot she stayed frozen in and paused in his steps towards the portrait hole where everyone else was heading.

James noticed his friends pause and glanced around the room conspicuously as he moved closer to Remus.

"What is Moony?" James asked making Sirius and Peter pause and look back at the two from the portrait hole. Remus inhaled deeply, his eyes an almost glowing swirl of gold as he stayed staring in the exact spot of Hermione's head.

"I think I smell...no, never mind." Remus said, finally dragging his shockingly animalistic eyes away from where Hermione was lying. James eyed his friend curiously for a moment.

"You don't seem sure that it's nothing..." James responded as Sirius shifted impatiently by the portrait hole. Remus glanced back to the spot Hermione was with unsure- and Hermione was certain now- glowing golden eyes.

"No, I'm sure it's nothing." Remus replied as Sirius huffed annoyed.

"Then come on already, we don't got all night!" he whispered harshly from the portrait as James just shrugged and walked off.

"If you say so Moony." he said as Sirius quickly scrambled through the hole with Peter following after then James. Remus paused for a moment, his eyes going back to the place and squinting slightly before he shook his head and followed suit.

When he was gone, Hermione felt she could breathe again, her body tensed so painfully her joints ached when she released them. Her heart was hammering uncontrollably in her chest as she couldn't stop seeing the burning gaze of Remus's glowing eyes in her mind...She mentally smacked herself, knowing that she couldn't let the boys get too far ahead of her.

She quickly crossed the common room floor before she froze as a thought hit her. Remus almost said he could smell her, for she was sure that was what had made the boy pause in their trek; she tried hard not to think too much on what him being able to smell her meant and decided to brandish her wand over herself before she exited to mask her scent.

She stopped once she stepped outside the portrait hole and gazed all around her in confusion of the empty corridor. She had no idea where the four boys might have gone from here and she cursed herself for letting them out of her sight. She scrambled for a spell to locate them in her mind and the solution popped into her head it was so simple, she just needed to do a locator spell.

She knew, however, that she should not be able to do the spell since it was an advanced sixth-year level spell but she had already done a nonverbal disillusionment charm so she figured doing a locator spell might be plausible. When it worked, Hermione was still surprised at the extent of her abilities but again, she did not have time to contemplate as she scrambled to follow her wands incessant urging.

Within a minute Hermione could hear the sound of the boy's footsteps down the hidden passageway but she could not see them. She wondered for a minute if perhaps they had too learned of the advanced disillusion charm for the sake of sneaking around. It seemed like pretty advanced magic for the boys to do but then again they weren't stupid, even Peter was rather smart.

"Shh, do you guys hear that?" Remus voice asked making Hermione freeze once again as the sound of the boy's footsteps stopped immediately. Hermione didn't even breathe in fear that Remus would somehow hear that as well. Almost a full moment went by in complete and utter tense silence.

"Dammit, Remus! Are you getting bloody paranoid on us or something?" Sirius's voice bit out from somewhere in front of Hermione as she could hear the shifting material of someone's clothes as one of the boys moved.

"I thought I heard another pair of footsteps..." Remus's voice trailed off defensively as it sounded like someone took a step back from maybe a slight push.

"I think you're losing your touch moony old pal..." James quipped up as a tussle seemed to ensue.

"Oh, I'll show you 'losing your touch'..." Remus's voice playfully growled followed soon after with a funny squeaking noise. She could hear Sirius sigh impatiently above the scuffling noise.

"If you two are quite done feeling each other up I'd rather like to get a move on before we get caught in this rather embarrassing position!" Sirius cried as the other boys seemed to laugh.

"Look, who's talking! You're the one who gives other boys a wake-up call by jumping on them while their sleeping peacefully on their beds-"

"And stealing other boys boxers-" Remus said indignantly

"That was an accident! How many ti-"

"Merlin Sirius! Do you want to wake the whole bloody castle up with your yelling? It will be your fault if we get caught...again. And how long do you plan to hold us up for tonight? McGonagall's lacy knickers, you just keep messing around-" James's voice was abruptly cut off as Sirius growled and more scuffling sounds ensued as Hermione couldn't help but roll her eyes at the boys. They really seemed to have focusing problems.

"Er, would you rather Peter and I leave you two alone?" Remus's voice said with a hint of playful disgust.

"Oh shut up!" Sirius yelled as Remus and Peter laughed and finally the sound of footsteps came again.

Hermione listened to the sound of them as she quickly tried to think up of a solution to masking her own footsteps and again the answer came simply, and she was able to do the silencing spell on her first try non-verbally. She had to force herself not to think too hard about the ease of which all these advanced spells came to her mind as she was able to move silently down the halls after the ridiculously immature boys.

It was quite pathetic actually...the amount of times the boys seemed to have to compulsively wrestle with each other because someone had purposefully elbowed the other one, or tried to trip the other, or stepped on the toes of the other. It really brought to attention to Hermione the restlessness of boys, how stupid they were and so incredibly childish; she sent a silent thank you to the ceiling that she was born a girl, way smarter and mature than any of the other sex could ever hope to be.

However, even Hermione was getting restless at their long trek, dodging Filtch and Mrs. Norris, prefects and patrolling Professors. She wondered if the boys had to go through this each time they went out on their little rendezvous since by the way they were prepared for them it seemed that they did. She was relieved but apprehensive when the boys snuck outside since it meant no longer having to avoid prefect and Professors. She was fearful of being outside the castle at such a late hour especially when the boys headed straight down a path towards the forbidden forest.

An inner battle waged within Hermione when they moved steadily closer to the forest edge, past Hagrid's hut, alight like a beacon in the night. She wanted to turn around and run straight back to Gryffindor's tower and simply interrogate the boys on why they had gone to the forbidden forest when they came back but at the same time, she was too curious to leave and worried about their safety. She was surprised slightly when the footsteps stopped just outside the forest trees and the boys appeared in front of her with a swift pull of invisibility cloak that James bundled up in his arms and shrunk with an impressive display of transfiguration.

"Right, let's keep going then." James said as they moved without hesitation back into the trees. Hermione teetered with indecision for a second more, recovering from her shock at seeing an actual invisibility cloak before she too scrambled inside the forest after them. The boys all sort of fell into step behind Remus, who maneuvered a path for everyone with precision and expertise that was beginning to make sense to Hermione.

They moved silently in the night, encountering nothing but reaching twigs and blasted mosquitos with only an occasional alarming noise sounding in the far distance. They didn't stay moving long however as the finally came upon a slight dip in the ground where only large roots were in a sort of clearing. The boys moved more freely as they came upon it and settled themselves onto the ground in a sort of strange circle in the center.

Hermione eyed the boys with fascination as Peter set out with James order to get some kindle and Sirius collected a bunch of sticks. Remus let his glowing eyes skitter about for a minute before he sniffed the air and nodded to himself.

"We're completely alone and safe." he said assuredly as he took out a magically shrunken textbook and engorged it back to its natural size, placing the book on the ground in front of him as Sirius and Peter came back with the tools to light the fire.

"Incendio!" James exclaimed with a flourish of his wand, immediately conjuring up flames in a makeshift bonfire. The boys paused for a moment all looking at expectantly at James who took the textbook from Remus and flipped through the pages till he found the one he needed.

"Okay, so we all remember the last time, Peter..." James said with a pointed look at the boy who shrunk a little and gazed away in a guilty fashion. "We need to obviously practice way more in that aspect since it's the basic necessity in transforming. Then when we're done we can move onto the mind which is the hardest part-"

"But I thought you said that gathering was the hardest part!" Peter cried a little desperately as James shrugged.

"Then I lied. Trying to retain your mind is the hardest part since it requires you to get in touch and control every single part of the id, ego and superego...it's 'a long and arduous' process, yippy! but we've got a while for that...Right now we need to concentrate on the sense of self-"

"I don't know why that should be so hard since I have no problem with my sense of self!" Sirius interrupted with an arrogant air as James smirked at the raven-haired boy.

"I'm pretty sure it was you who had the most trouble with it the last time pal." James said as Sirius threw a sodding rock at the other boys head, who laughed and dodged it.

"Oh shut up James!" Sirius said pouting as Peter laughed at him and Remus just shook his head.

Hermione watched as, for at least an hour, the boys went back and forth from meditating to occasionally saying things out loud to each other and professing things in random spurts, with Remus monitoring to make sure no one fell asleep. Then finally they all packed up and gathered a few random things that they felt a 'pull' towards and writing things on parchment they burned in the fire just before they extinguished it.

The boys were strangely tired and mellow as they walked back to Hogwarts and Hermione's mind was reeling at all she had learned. The boys were trying to become animagus's, except for Remus because he already turned into an animal, every month at a full moon because Remus was...Remus was a werewolf.

When Hermione was alone again in the safety of her dorm room, she let her mind think of something else she learned on this night...a connection that could have only been made with the realization of what Sirius was to become and what Remus already was...

That her nightmares were somehow a premonition for the future, that the man turning into a wolf before her eyes in her visions was actually Remus, that the dog fighting to protect them was Sirius...and that nothing...not a damn thing made sense to her anymore.

...+_+... Christmas Break (Day approx. 120)

The snow fluttered down around Hermione in a beautiful fluttering whirl of white so striking against the dark gray sky and her black woolen coat. Hermione lay in the six inches of snow with her hands spread wide on either side of her, frozen during the making of a snow angel as she watched the snow dance. Blue was bounding about trying to eat the snow as if fell to the ground. It was quite a comical sight but Hermione was not looking, in fact, her brown eyes, fanned by dark thick long lashes were completely out of focus as they gazed fixedly above.

And she looked absolutely beautiful to Sirius as he came upon the sight of her. Her hair had seemed to change over the years into an inviting looking chocolate brown color that fell in long waves a little below her shoulders, and her face seemed to always have a natural coloring to it but with the snow, her cheeks were cutely pink and her mouth was a red. Sirius let his grey eyes gaze at her in her distracted state, something he avoided doing at all costs since that time they kissed so long ago.

He would not lie and say that he did not like Hermione, of course, he did! How could he not when she was his first friend; when she was pretty and smart and exciting to be around but he also crushed on a lot of other girls. There were so many pretty little things in Hogwarts that he also liked snogging and touching because he was a boy and that's what boys in puberty liked to do and Hermione was not the kind of girl who did the things he wanted to do without it being something huge. He liked the girls like Mary and Marla who giggled and batted their eyes when he passed, who liked snogging too and used him to up their cool status as much as he used them to up his.

But he still liked Hermione, he liked her a lot.

He really liked her face. He really liked being able to be near her even when they were away from Hogwarts. He really liked the way she smiled and the way she smelled.

His heart pounded a little bit faster as he neared closer to where she laid spread out in the snow. He felt like a pervert for wanting so badly to climb on top of the length of her body and hug her close to him...he could actually see himself doing it in his mind's eye and played around with the idea of actually doing it. He restrained himself, thinking instead of the embarrassment he would feel when she would inevitably throw him off of her and fix him with a disgusted enraged gaze.

He chose to plop himself down opposite of her head and laid back so that only their heads were side by side, his feet pointing north and hers pointing south. He was surprised that she still had not noticed him. He studied her elegant profile and thought about what she might be thinking about. He watched her slow blinks, the puff of air escaping her slightly parted lips. He found himself scooting closer and closer and then he took in a sniff of her hair. He blushed to the tips of his ears at his own strange actions but couldn't help but take pleasure in how good she smelled, a simple flowery scent that made him think of the color pink.

He thought for a minute about the other girls, and why he didn't notice as strongly with them the things he noticed about Hermione. Sure, he thought that they smelt nice too, and that they had pretty hair and soft skin but he wondered about Hermione's smooth skin more...about her lips. Maybe it's because she was his first kiss... maybe because the idea of her not caring about her looks but about books made it all the more interesting to look at her...

But still, at this moment... alone laying in the snow with Hermione in all her simple prettiness, he wanted to reach out and hold her hand and sniff her hair and kiss her pretty heart-shaped mouth. It made his heart beat just envisioning it.

Blue barked loudly as she chased the wind and this finally snapped Hermione out of her own head and her eyes went comically wide when she spotted Sirius's face so close next to hers.

"Sirius!" she whispered in surprise as he slowly grinned.

"My dear Buttons, fancy seeing you here." he responded cheekily as she gaped at him.

"When did you get here? How long have you been lying there for? Why didn't you call my name or something?" Hermione asked as Sirius chuckled.

"Relax, I only just plopped down, besides I didn't want to interrupt your train of thought when I could just watch you and enjoy thinking my own dirty little thoughts completely unrestrained." he responded, cheekily grinning at her as she blanched at him.

"You can't be serious! Don't say things like that!" she responded as he smirked and she realized too late her mistake. "Oh no, Sir-"

"Nope, there's no stopping it Buttons so just let it happen... I am always Sirius, my dear. Always." he said at first his tone playful but then at the end he gazed into her eyes deeply and left her with a strange awkward feeling that might have made her heart beat a little faster at the strange turn of his tone.

"Right, well...what are you doing out here?" she asked, scrambling to change the subject as Sirius gave her a lingering look before he gazed away, his face breaking into a grin as a snowflake clung to his dark lashes.

"I think I'm entitled to come outside during Christmas break, Buttons." Sirius responded as Hermione gave him a dumb look.

"Of course you are, but I've never caught you out here, not since before first year..." Hermione said as Sirius just shrugged as he turned his beautiful eyes onto her so striking in the snow, like the eyes of a Siberian husky.

"I suppose I thought I might get to see you." he responded making Hermione blush and glance away shyly.

"You're teasing me again Sirius. I don't know why you're doing that." she said as he smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Always so doubtful Buttons. You know I never stopped your rank as my best friend..." he said as Hermione laughed genuinely, recalling that time so long ago that they had that conversation about his strange antics towards other human beings.

"I really don't understand you at all Sirius, you are so particular." she said giggling as Sirius fought a smile, trying to seem mockingly insulted.

"Did Buttons just call me particular? Why I feel quite insulted. Serious, thats okay... Barbaric, that's ruddy well correct, but particular...I think that is just going too far." he said frowning as Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You're crazy!" she said as he gasped.

"Well, that was just uncalled for!"

"Oh, stop exaggerating!" she said as she smiled and he smiled and they smiled at each other. A flutter passed through both of them, awareness at the distance of their lips to one another's before Hermione blushed heavily and turned her head away. "So how has your Christmas been so far?" Hermione said awkwardly as Sirius felt a wave of disappointment flood through him that he had to push away.

"I'm out here with you aren't I?" he said sarcastically immediately making Hermione freeze, the heat in her heart cooling quickly with his words. Sirius watched this reaction curiously before he realized what he said was slightly insulting. "Oh, no Hermione! I didn't mean that in any insulting way!" he tried to reassure rather pathetically as Hermione turned her brown eyes on him.

"Sure." she responded shortly as Sirius's eyes begged her to believe him.

"Don't be like that Buttons, I promise! I only meant that-"

"You're out here because it sucks in there. You don't have to explain." she said in a blase fashion with her own little shrug.

"But I'm glad I'm out here with you. In fact, it's the best! Better than if even James was out here!" Sirius promised as a little smile curled Hermione's lips.

"Oh really? But I thought you loved James! You little cheater!" she said jokingly as Sirius smirked, relief shining in his eyes.

"Well, what James doesn't know won't kill him." he said as Hermione laughed. "Why are you out here, then?"

A sad expression flashed on Hermione's face before she shrugged and played with a thread from her coat.

"I wanted to take Blue for a walk." she lied as Sirius nodded his head in belief.

"She's gotten so big, now. She definitely doesn't recognize me anymore." Sirius said as he watched the midnight black dog sniff the ground and get snow on her muzzle.

"Yeah, she probably doesn't." Hermione said lamely as Sirius just shook his head and sat up. Hermione eyed his snow-covered back curiously as he turned around and faced her.

"It's my fault... I should've come over here more to play with her, and play with you..." he said as his face flushed a little and he glanced away from her. Hermione felt her own heart sped up a bit as she too sat up and faced him on stiff freezing cold limbs.

"What do you mean?" she pressed, hoping he was saying what she thought he was saying. Sirius bit his lip, an action that surprised Hermione, and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I just mean that I should have-I wanted to..." Sirius sighed, "Last summer...I haven't been a good best friend."

"Why?" she asked as Sirius gave her a pointed look.

"You already know Hermione! I ignored you all summer, I've avoided you at school-"

"I know why you have been, I know your secret Sirius." Hermione cut off. Sirius froze completely, even his breath stopped for a full second.

"What do you mean?" he asked after a minute.

"I know that you and James and Peter are trying to be animagi for Remus." she said simply as Sirius gawked at her, launching himself onto his feet as Hermione eyed him warily. "and don't try to deny it..."

"Wha-How? How did you find out." Sirius asked as Hermione smiled to herself a little smugly.

"I have to admit I'm slightly embarrassed about how long it took me to even start speculating about Remus, but I have been a bit busy in my defense...it's so obvious that he's a werewolf when you think about it...but I never could have imagined you three dolts would actually try to become animagi! Honestly! I'm floored by your audacity! To try to become animagus at such a young age when people way older and smarter than-"

"But how did you find out?" Sirius cried as Hermione sighed and stood up as well.

"I followed you four one night..." she said, raising her eyes to meet his without shame or remorse. He blanched at her words and eyed her as if seeing her for the first time. "I couldn't sleep and was in the common room when you four came down and I knew that I wasn't going to get any answers so I followed to see what you were up to!" she explained defensively as Sirius whistled. "I was behind you all the whole way down to the forbidden forest, I saw the invisibility cloak and the session and I heard everything you guys said..."

"But...but how did manage for us-for Remus- not to see, hear or smell you? How did we not detect you at all?" Sirius asked after a long pause. At this Hermione shifted a little uncomfortably on her feet and peered at Sirius searchingly.

"With magic, Sirius..." Hermione said simply as Sirius gaped at her.

"But-but...Merlin, Hermione that's highly advanced magic..." he said as he paced in front of her.

"I know."

"Have you talked to Dumbledore about this yet? Does he know what you can do?" he asked as Hermione shook her head. Sirius sighed and then walked up to her and gripped her upper arms, gazing down at her with troubled, serious eyes.

"Hermione, you've got to tell Dumbledore about this...it's all too strange that you're able to do that kind of magic without extensive research and practice!" Sirius exclaimed as Hermione peered away reluctantly.

"But- what if he tells me there's something wrong with me? What if, what if he tells me that I can't go to Hogwarts anymore?" Hermione asked as Sirius gazed down at her confused.

"Why would Dumbledore tell you that?" he asked curiously as Hermione ran a frustrated hand through her wild hair.

"Because obviously doing this sort of magic isn't right to you all! It disturbed James so badly and even you are not comfortable about it!" Hermione said angrily as Sirius let go of her. For a minute he just stayed staring down at the ground before he gazed back at her.

"Listen Hermione, you're wrong if you think your magic makes me uncomfortable around you... in fact, I think it's actually pretty wicked! But... in the wizarding world most purebloods are raised by their parents to believe certain things that are unquestionable and anything that doesn't fit that bill is obviously...faulty somehow... wrong. We are raised to believe that magic is our natural right but something that is cultivated with schooling and practice... but there are people who dabble in the dark arts to make themselves more powerful...unnaturally powerful at terrible costs. Most pureblood families do dark magic, like my family, to gain power, money and status...but a family like the Potters, they turn their noses away from those things with extreme distaste so that's why James reacted like that. He thought you did some sort of Black family evil magic to do what you did...but I know you wouldn't do that and that's what's worrying because it's natural for you and completely unnatural for the rest of us, at least not without some seriously grueling work." Sirius explained as Hermione stood there as if listening to a lecture.

"I see..." Hermione said, her mind thinking over the new revelation.

"So, you really shouldn't worry about Dumbledore. He won't react like James did, I promise you... he'll try to figure it all out with you, help you make sense of it all..." Sirius reassured but there was a feeling Hermione couldn't place...an irrational feeling about Dumbledore that made her question him.

"Why are you so trusting of him?" Hermione asked curiously as Sirius eyed her with mild shock.

"Because he's Dumbledore!" Sirius said simply. Hermione frowned but decided to let it drop. She heard Sirius sigh as he moved over into her personal space in that special way of his...as if he had every right to and he gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. Hermione's heart jumped in her chest at the simple gesture, her wide eyes gazing into his. "I'm sorry if I've scared you Hermione." he said making Hermione's heart lodge in her throat. The puffs of their breaths collided together in the cold air.

"I'm not scared..." she lied quickly as Sirius continued to stare down at her with his hand still in her hair. Her heart definitely sped up when she caught a whiff of his smell mixing with the wind. It surprised her that she liked it, a bit like shampoo and a smell that must of come from his house, a sort of rich airy smell. She blushed; she had honestly thought that boys were all disgusting smelly creatures... but Sirius was definitely not smelly.

Sirius let go of her hair and his arm fell back to his side; Hermione watched with hyper awareness all his movements. She found that this close to him, she was noticing things she had never really noticed before... like how much taller he had gotten since the last time they had been alone like this, that his adam's apple bobbed whenever he swallowed, that his black hair was carelessly falling into his eyes. She couldn't help but reach up and brush his hair out of his eyes, freezing up when she realized just how intimate it felt doing so.

All the while Sirius just stayed watching her with his steady gaze that made her pulse race with the focus he stared at her with. Awkwardly, Hermione let her hand fall away before she cleared her throat and took a step back with an embarrassed smile. She was shocked when Sirius' hand reached out and grabbed hold of her hand to still her. She numbly stared down at his pale hands on her own before she looked back up into his eyes.

"Are you in love with me, Hermione?" Sirius asked casually as Hermione turned tomato red. Her mouth opened for a moment as she sputtered for an answer, so completely overwhelmed before she took a steadying breath and brought a hand to her mouth to stop her from saying anything embarrassing. Her eyes shifted away from this, unable to withstand the unyielding way he was looking at her as she contemplated her feelings.

Did she really love Sirius? For so long she had only felt the bitter feeling of betrayal at the way he treated her like a discarded toy. Was she bitter at being ignored or hurt that he didn't like her anymore? She knew deep down the answer... without fail her eyes were always seeking him whenever she entered the great hall or the common room or the class rooms... and if her eyes ever did met his they always looked away and then back at each other. Like a game of cat and mouse...

Hermione gazed back at him during her musings and caught the knowing look in his eyes. It surprised her and she just reacted instinctively.

"Why are you always so over confident? Not every girl is in love with you Sirius." Hermione responded smartly making Sirius frown with a dull glare at her for a second. She was sort of sad when he let go of her hand.

"Hey, I never said every girl was, you did..." he said as he shoved his hands back into his pockets. Hermione scoffed to mask her whirling feelings from earlier.

"No, you just act like every girl is. I mean, honestly, what makes you think it's okay to ask a girl a question like that just clear out the blue." Hermione said as Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Well, you're the one who brushed my hair away..." he retorted.

"You're the one who did it first, so does that mean that you're the one in love with me then, Sirius?" Hermione retorted hotly as Sirius laughed shortly.

"Not bloody likely with the way your acting..."

"The way I'm acting? I'm just pointing out your arrogant attitude!"

"Exactly, its like you have to bring me down to make yourself feel better!"

"No I am not! Thats what you do! You and James, the both of you do that sort of thing all the time with your supposed 'pranks'!"

"Oh come off it, thats just for laughs...!"

"Well it's not really funny to other people, is it? You certainly don't like it when it's done back to you!"

"Ugh! You know what! I don't even know why I'm standing here arguing with you!" Sirius bellowed as he clenched his fists at his sides.

"Search me!" she responded as Sirius glared at her for a moment as Zero jumped up and down beside them. "but if you run away then its only because you know I'm right!"

"Yes, because you just always have to be right like a little know-it-all!"

"I am not a know-it-all!"

"Yes you are!"

"Well I don't even know what we're arguing for!"

"Neither do I!"

"Then maybe we should stop!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

A moment's pause followed before the two broke out in laughter. Hermione let the relief of the released tension flow through her with that laughter and knew it was the same for Sirius.

They stayed for only a little while longer outside in the snow before Hermione felt it was time for her to go. Sirius walked her all the way to her house and they parted ways with smiles. Her heart and mind stayed with Sirius for the rest of Christmas break until they were back at Hogwarts. She found thinking about him was a welcome escape from thinking about the strange reality that her visions were not vision but in fact bits of glimpses of the future.

When she got back to Hogwarts, Hermione was right back into business mode. She spent countless hours in the library doing school work and looking up seers. She thought perhaps that she was seeing the future... her efforts were all in vain.

...+_+... Day 159

"Voila! It is done!" Lily's excited voice exclaimed, shattering Hermione's thoughts as she waved her paper in front of her face.

"Good job Lily." Hermione said dispassionately. Lily, undettered, beamed at her anyway.

"Thank you, thank you! I must say this is my longest essay yet!" she said before her green eyes peered over to Hermione's paper. Her eyes widened and her mouth nearly hit the floor when she saw hers. "Bloody hell Hermione! Your paper is almost to the floor!" she exclaimed in shock as Hermione shrugged.

"I have a lot to say on the subject of partonus's." Hermione explained simply as Lily snapped her jaw shut, her green eyes flashing with a hint of annoyance. She turned to look over at Sev, his dark hair hiding his face as he bent close to his paper, his hand moving diligently.

"How are you doing Sev?" she asked curiously as Sev just shrugged in response but did not glance up. Lily pouted and Hermione giggled slightly at her petulant face.

"Well, since I'm done I'm going to put my books back and head to the tower...I'll see you later!" Lily said, packing away her books. Hermione and Severus barely glanced up in response so Lily left a little huffily.

Hermione sat for a good ten minutes after she finished with her paper staring outside the window by their work table.

"Hey, Severus..." Hermione spoke up, breaking the compatible work silence between them. Sev grunted an acknowledgment so Hermione continued. "you're in love with Lily, right?" she asked abruptly making the poor boy's head jerk up with a rare speed he rarely showed.

His dark eyes stared at her for a moment before he sighed and sat back in his seat with an annoyed scowl on his face.

"We've been over this Hermione-"

"I know you are Sev...I've known since the first five minutes in the train ride back in first year." Hermione interrupted as Severus's scowl deepened but a suspicious red coloring tinted his normally pale cheeks as he crossed his arms.

"So then what is the point of this conversation Black?" he asked with guarded as eyes as Hermione gazed very seriously at him.

"I want to know how you know you're in love her..." Hermione said, pushing herself up on her seat and leaning forward on her elbows. A genuinely surprised look crossed over Sev's face before he gazed uncomfortably away from her.

"Er..."

"Please just tell me Sev." Hermione requested as the boy sighed again gruffly but relaxed his arms and seemed to ponder an answer.

"I suppose I knew when she was all I could think about..." Severus mumbled as Hermione encouraged with her eyes for him to continue. "Look Hermione, this is really awkward to talk about-"

"But you know you want to talk about it...it's not like you can share your feelings with anyone in Slytherin." Hermione responded readily as he seemed to falter slightly. "Besides, you know I'm not going to judge you...I just really need to know because truthfully...I don't really have anyone I can talk to about these sort of things with either..." Hermione confessed as Sev gave her a confused look.

"But Lily-"

"Is with those daft M&M half the time..." Hermione cut off again as Sev actually gave Hermione a sympathetic glance.

"Well, alright fine...but I already told you how I knew." Sev said but Hermione needed more than that.

"Oh come on Sev..."

"Okay, okay...I just knew because... I was constantly dreaming about her, about me with her and holding her hand...I want to be a part of every little aspect of her life and I want her to share everything with me. I think about her constantly and my eyes follow her wherever she goes and when she looks back at me..." Severus trailed off, his wistful sort of greedy expression suddenly turning into a mad blush as he cleared his throat and gazed fixedly at the table before them.

"What, what is it?" Hermione urged, completely involved with his telling emotions.

"She just makes me feel...things. Things I don't feel about anyone else. It's like... I can't feel anything from anyone other than her."

Hermione watched her grunge looking friend with something akin to awe; for a moment she even let herself feel jealous of Lily. Severus' leg was bobbing up and down nervously in his chair, clearly agitated and embarrased, avoiding Hermione's eyes.

"Wow Sev. You just managed to say something men triple times your age couldn't even say as well as you." Hermione praised as Sev glared at her.

"You better not tell Lily anything I just said! I'm serious Hermione!" Severus demanded as Hermione gaped at him.

"But why? What you just said was beautiful!"

"You know why! Don't play daft! If Lily found out my feelings for her than she'd just pull away from me. She probably wouldn't even speak to me anymore-"

"Come off it Severus. If you know Lily like I know you do then you know she wouldn't stop being friends with you just because you fancy her...she'd be pleased!" Hermione said as Severus's expression turned cold.

"I'm telling you not to tell her!" he bellowed, his fists clenching his chair with his aggression. Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Fine! I won't tell her if you don't want me to! So calm down! It's not like I told her before this conversation." Hermione promised. "Besides you did me a favor telling me about your feelings in the first place."

And it was true. Hearing Severus's words about his feelings towards Lily...of how he knows even at such a young age that he loves her, made Hermione realize something that had been bothering her since Christmas. She finally had an answer to the question that followed her since he'd asked her all those months ago.

Was she in love with Sirius?

Of course when he had asked her during Christmas break she had felt shy and embarrassed and didn't really get to think about it...but now she thought about it all the time. She thought about Sirius all the time...and so she wondered but realized something essential, she needed a confidant. Someone who she can talk to who could help her and provide perspective outside of herself. So she decided to talk to the one person she knew could help her, Severus. His answer made her realize that maybe she didn't love Sirius, but she definitely liked him. He gave her feelings no one else made her feel too.

She knew that she would never be able to love anyone when she had a whole bunch of her own problems to solve. She had no time to wonder about Sirius and every last aspect of his life when her own was a jumbled mess. Yet she still thought about him a lot, followed him with her eyes.

Later that night, Hermione was, as per usual, struggling to fall asleep. Her dreams had been the same reoccurring dream of Dumbledore and that strange room. She truly hated night and her inability to ignore the things she pushed behind during daylight. At night she had to face all her demons all the strange circumstances of her 'visions' and the possibility that there was so much that she did not understand about her own self.

But hating the night...hating sleep, it didn't change anything. She still needed to rest. So with foreboding feelings churning her stomach, Hermione fell into sleep and she dreamed.

The room was cramped. Hermione absolutely hated it. She hated how confined she felt...she hated that she let herself be placed here. Most especially, she hated that she could see Hogwarts so clearly from the only window in the tight space but she could not venture inside. Dumbledore told her that under no circumstances was she to go to Hogwarts if there were students present; when they were gone for summer break was the only time she was allowed in the castle. But she did not want to go when the castle was an empty, lonely sort of place...she wanted to go when all the other students were there.

And there was only one way she was going to be able to do that.

So when Dumbledore came and she told him her vision, she also made him a deal...Her enslavement in return for her freedom.

She was resting on her bed after her fainting stint, Dumbledore sitting on her bedside. The air between them was solemn mixed with tension and determination.

"Professor, you know I am right. The werewolf will need this space." Hermione continued imploringly. "And you will need him when the time comes. He will be instrumental in the war."

"I understand but there are great risks in allowing you to attend Hogwarts."

"That is why we will have precautions, Headmaster... You can take my memories so that I can act and be like a normal child," Hermione said a little desperately. "and then when the time comes in its own natural way, I will remember and join in the fight against him. You know I will be able to do more than anyone else, I already have all the knowledge it will takes years upon years for you to even realize."

"Yes, I know how valuable you are and that way the risk is too great-..."

"Dumbledore, you know that I know you better than anyone. You make the hard calls that no one else can make because you know the risks are well worth it. It might seem that I am a young child, that using me is too immoral but only this body is a little girl. It would be stupid not to use me." she said with wise brown eyes for older than any child.

"Besides, that's why I'm talking to you about letting me into Hogwarts in the first place. You won't be able to use me as effectively as possible if I try to infiltrate without a proper background. It will be too suspicious if I pop up into his ranks without anything he can trace me back to. We need to play this out perfectly in order for it to work."

"And you think memory suppression and extractions will be enough? Your power is far too great for it Hermione."

"It will be hard, yes and of course there will be random bursts of power but it will still at least take a few years, years in which I will grow and then I will be at an age where this body will be able to handle it..."

"Will you though, will you be able to handle it Hermione?"

"Yes," Hermione said with a shrug after a pause. "and if it seems like I can't then you give me back my memories and I'll just have to act accordingly."

There was a long pause as Dumbledore's blue eyes thought about her offer before he nodded his head.

"Alright, I agree that it would all be for the best in the end. I don't like it, there are so many uncontrollable variables..."

"But it's all we've really got."

"Yes, I suppose it is."

Hermione's eyes snapped open as she sat up from her bed with a great big gasp.

And in this moment, everything changed.

A/N: A quick thank you to you all! I have to hurry and go to school now but I would just like to say that this is my longest chapter ever written! I would write more but I can't right now and I don't want to keep you guys waiting...even though I honestly planned for this chapter to be the end of third year I can promise you that next chapter will be for sure! Anyway I've gotta run! Don't forget to review!