EVERYONE! Wow. Life has really gotten a head of me. Jeez Louise. I've been writing non-stop, though the issue is that I have so many ideas they all come out at once and there's little to no story… I call it a writer's flood. Thankfully, I have flood insurance and I've been able to get everything back together. Fellow Lost Ones, I give you: Chapter 10!
As per ush, I own nothing.
It didn't come. Sleep, I mean. I tossed and turned and fought to keep the expression of anger on Edward's face out of my head.
That asshat is ruining our beauty sleep and our neck with all this whiplash.
In the span of four days I had gone from thinking Edward thought I was a kid-sister, to basically fucking him, to straight confusion as to what we were. I thought after the conversation in the conference room that we had come to somewhat of a conclusion. I thought that we were going to try. Or that I was at least going to tell him I wanted to try.
The orgasm he gave you mere feet away from his family definitely enforced these ideas.
I huffed in frustration.
Today was the first day of my first full time job. I wasn't supposed to be worrying about whether my boss like liked me or if he thought I was a mistake. I had ideas and project proposals to both present and create. I had a team I was part of and I couldn't have my mind on anything but those tasks.
I looked in the mirror as I brushed my hair and saw the signs of a sleepless night flashing bright neon underneath my eyes. Reaching under my sink, I pulled out the makeup Rose and Alice had bought me over the last year and tried to figure out how to use it.
Why do we never listen to them?
Almost thirty minutes later, my face felt like I had spackle caked on but the stress and tiredness were erased from my features. A brief glance at my watch told me coffee was out of the question and I flew out the door to walk to the short distance to Cullen Enterprises. As I flashed my brand new employee badge at Scott, our security guard, he gave me a bright smile and said, "I guess you're Miss Swan now, huh?"
I smirked and replied, "Scott! I'll always be Bella to you!" We chuckled lightly before I turned and made my way to the elevators.
"Belly!" I heard a familiar bellow followed with short clips of high heels.
"Emmett, please stop yelling in the lobby. You're supposed to be the boss." I heard Rose admonish as I stepped into the elevator, hitting the "hold door" button.
The couple made their way to me and when the door closed Emmett turned to us, "Am I allowed to be myself now, ladies?"
"No." Rose and I chorused together.
"Bella," Rose sang with mischief in her tone, "You and that security guard seemed awfully friendly," her eyebrows wagged suggestively.
"Rose, his name is Scott. You know his name is Scott. I know you know his name because I've introduced you to him at least three times as my friend." I rolled my eyes.
"Oh, that boy is not your friend. That boy wants to fuck you at the very least and marry you at the very most."
"He's not a boy Rosalie. Scott is like 34."
"So? Older men are way more fun," she had a smirk on her face that I wanted to wipe off.
I basically growled at her and turned to face front; effectively ending the conversation
Emmett frowned and chose to ignore us. "Belly, are you nervous for the big meeting today?"
Um, excuse me?
"Big meeting, Em?" My heart fell to my stomach; what had I forgotten?
"With Jazz, Eddie, and me? The shareholders are Skyping in to hear about your ideas on the social media campaign." Emmett had a nervous tone to his voice that truly shocked me.
"Oh! No of course I didn't forget. I guess I'm just not looking at it as a 'big meeting,' Emmett and Rose looked puzzled, "Well, I've already presented it to Rose, Alice, and you and your brothers. Hell, I presented it to your dad and grandpa Cullen at the Fourth of July party. Plus, its a department presentation with Alice, Rose and me. It's not as though I'm alone or that I've never done this before."
"Huh."
"Emmett, why are you so worried?"
"The shareholders scare me. They're like Sith Lords or some shit." Emmett emphasized his feelings with a shiver.
"He's just a big baby. I'm not worried either and I'm so glad you aren't. Nerves mean mistakes." I giggled as I remembered the first time she did a presentation in front of Jasper. That was the exact thing I said to her and Alice as they were both uncharacteristically stressed.
"I think you're both way too calm. But whatever, see you later." Em shrugged and walked onto his floor but not before blowing kisses to us both and skipping away.
I shook my head and turned to Rose, "Are you really as calm as you say?"
"I really am, Bells. We got this," her resolve was set and I was so proud, "the question is are you nervous to see Edward."
My heart started to race and pound against my rib cage. I was sure she could hear it as I struggled to form words.
"No. Why would I be nervous?"
"Bella. Density doesn't suit you."
Well, nosey-ness doesn't suit you, bitch.
"Rose, I just…" I took a deep breathe to collect my thoughts, "nervous isn't the right word, I guess. He has given me so many weird signals and I thought our next conversation was going to be him telling me he was leaving Tanya b-"
"That still might be the case, B! You heard Jazz! They were fighting last night," Rose interrupted.
"Yes, they were fighting. But they're always fighting. The difference was that he was angry that I knew they were fighting. He was angry that his private life was brought up in front of me. That seems like the opposite of wanting to be involved romantically."
"So, how do you feel then?"
Yeah...How do you feel?
How do I feel?
How do I feel?
I bit my lip as the realization came to me.
"I'm angry."
The doors to the elevator opened, I squared my shoulders and headed straight for my office to prepare for my first presentation.
And face to face meeting with Edward.
I found my office door unlocked and was genuinely confused until I saw a Pixie shaped silhouette behind the frosted glass. She swung the door open and yelled, "Surprise!"
I walked into my office to see that Alice had placed decorations all over. There were art prints on the wall as well as photos of everyone I loved. My degree was hung on the wall behind my desk, right above my desk chair. "How the heck did you get my diploma you sneak?" I wrapped my arm around her shoulders to give her a squeeze while taking everything in. A coffee maker sat on a small bar cart in the corner with cups and various flavoring options. There was a bookshelf that the sneaky pixie had filled with copies of my presentations and client accounts.
"I have a key to your apartment!" She grinned.
I opened my mouth to ask how the hell she got that but thought better of it.
It's better we don't know the all powerful Pixie's ways.
I rushed towards the coffee, "You are a lifesaver! I had no time for coffee this morning and I wasn't about to buy the mud they have in the shop downstairs."
"I bet you didn't have time with all the makeup you have on. You hate makeup. Why today?" Allie was a suspicious person by nature.
Especially when you do something you have recently called offensive and stupid.
"Oh well.. ya know.. new job, new me."
That was pathetic.
"We certainly don't want a new Bella." I whipped around.
Oh fuck me.
Yes, please, fuck me. On my desk.
There he was. In all his hypnotizing glory. My face flushed as I took Edward in. The charcoal grey suit he wore hugged his body and the deep blue tie screamed sophistication. I hoped the blush that crept up my neck was covered by all this makeup.
"You're turning bright red, B. I hope I didn't scare you too badly." Edward's words were sincere but his eyes said something completely different.
Interestingly enough, my blush wasn't from being startled. Nor was it from attraction.
Well, that's not entirely true.
Okay, I was partially blushing from attraction. However, the strawberry hue frequently showed when my irritation was building and Edward showing up and speaking to me like nothing happened ensured my agitation.
"You didn't, no worries." My coffee finished brewing and after adding sugar I went to start up my computer. "I was just about to ask Alice if she had time to go over a new project I'm working on before we met with Rose to go over the presentation for the shareholders' meeting. Did you need something or can we get to that?" My tone was curt and I inwardly cringed at the slight air of disrespect.
New job, new me only works if you have a job.
Edward's eyebrows shot up for just a second before his calm and collected mask fell back into place, "I suppose that's fine. I will need to meet with at some point today to go over your intern evaluations and ideas on how to proceed as new coordinator."
"Oh, well I figured I would just email my report. I created a rubric for evaluation and then wrote short comments that would serve as my recommendations for how to proceed with the interns I left high marks for. I also have an outline of what I'd like to accomplish in the next two weeks as coordinator. So, if you still want a meeting after going over those things, I'd be glad to. I just don't want to take up your time unnecessarily." That sounded better right?
Well, that sour look on his face tells me he did not think so.
"You're efficiency never ceases to amaze me, Miss Swan. Yes, that works fine. Have a good day."
Woah. Back to Miss Swan.
I felt like I couldn't breathe as regret washed over me. Why am I mad at him? Why am I acting so hysterical?
Okay 1950's stepford wife. Snap the fuck out of it. He was an ass. We're treating him the way we treat asses with a tad more respect because of the whole boss thing.
The door clicked closed and it was just Alice and I once again. She looked like someone had glued her to the wall. Her eyes were wide and her mouth slightly open. She looked like she had just watched a train wreck.
I feel like we are a train wreck.
"Alice?" I asked weakly. I just needed her to say something.
Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she burst out laughing.
What the fuck.
"Oh. My. God," was all I could make out between her gasps and loud laughs.
"Bella," she started as she clutched her stomach, calming down, "I have never, in the year that I've known you, heard you speak to someone like that. I don't think anyone has. More importantly, I don't think anyone has ever spoken to Edward like that! Oh gosh it was amazing. His face! Your face! I have no idea where that came from and trust me, I will be asking, but oh my gosh!" My head spun with the crash of adrenaline and the speed of her words rushing at me.
I held my head in my hands before I planted my face into my desk, "Oh that was so bad. It was so bad, Allie. I'm going to lose my job! Who talks to their boss like that? On their first day?"
"I guess the person who kisses her boss."
She was so nonchalant I thought I heard her wrong at first.
"Are you crazy?" I hissed. "Don't say that out loud!"
"Bella, I'm sorry but really. Nothing about your relationship with him is typical."
"At work it has to be though! It has to be because I can't be the girl who goes around kissing married men. I certainly can't be the girl who kisses married bosses!" My breath was starting to come in shorter and shorter bursts. Tears brimmed my eyes, "And all this risk was probably all for nothing. If we meet face to face he's going to tell me everything was a mistake. That we are a mistake. That I'm a mistake." One tear fell, "I can't be his mistake, Alice. I can't." Against all my efforts, I began to cry.
"Okay, okay, okay," Alice rushed to my side. She bent down next to my desk so she could see my face in my odd position. "Hey, you are never a mistake. You followed your heart. If Edward decides he doesn't want to move forward it changes nothing about your standing at C.E., the love this family has for you, or your worth as a friend and romantic partner. If you decide after this that you don't want to keep seeing where this thing with Edward could go. If you don't want to see if he's leaving Tanya. Hell, if you don't want to ever speak to him outside of work, nothing changes. Can you repeat that to me?"
"Honestly, Alice you just said so many things and there's no way I could repeat it back to you!" I sniffled.
"No, sweet girl, I mean the nothing changes part." Alice rubbed my back.
"Oh."
"Well, go on, say it."
"Nothing changes."
"Okay, now sit up and say it."
I brought myself up to a fully seated position and looked at my dear friend, "Nothing changes."
Alice gave me a bright smile as she stood. Placing a hand on my shoulder she said, "That's my girl. Now, let me go get my makeup really quickly and fix this mess."
"Please don't call my face a mess." I sighed. "I tried my best."
"I know you did, sweetie," she said and patted my head.
"Don't patronize me."
"Don't do your makeup unsupervised," she sassed lightly and then she flitted out of the office in search of her bag.
She isn't wrong. We look so weird.