A/N:Time for another chapter!
Chapter 11 Revolution or Rotation?
The Kowtowing hotel staff couldn't be any happier. They had a building built on top of a lake (with five thousand leaks to date and three tragic drownings when repairmen were unfortunate enough to be in the midst of such a thing), a crazy terrorist gang holding them hostage by threatening them with lampshades, and they were now on television! Yay!
"So, are you going to give us all of your anime DVDs or will we have to resort to violence?" Lt. Colonel Cushion asked, waving a toy sword at them threateningly (where he had gotten it was not known, nor asked about. It was just one of those things you don't ask evil overlords.)
"Yes, please give us some pie as well," Lt. Katnip said beside him, chewing absently on a piece of pork chop he had stolen off the table of a banquet the chef had been preparing...until he saw the very large and rotund lieutenant coming towards him, at which point the poor man called it quits and jumped out of a window to his death. "Tasty...hey, chef, bring us some more!"
"He died, remember?" A nameless mook said cautiously.
"Oh, yeah...that's right. Go raid his fridge." He said while gnawing on the bone now and throwing it aside. LT. Colonel Cushion looked at the raw bone on the ground in disgust.
"Didn't we teach you not to litter, scumbag?" He growled.
Katnip froze. "Um...I was just aiming for a trash can..."
"It's not the floor, you idiot. Floors are not meant for food, our mouths are, remember?" Colonel Cushion scolded. "Now keep your mouth full, you curmudgeon."
"I'm sorry...we can't hand you our anime...it means so much to us," A woman said, also dressed in a poorly done cosplay outfit.
"Listen here, wench! When I tell you to give us anime...you give it to us!" He said. "You're already dead to me..."
Suddenly ketchup squirted all over the poor woman's dress and she broke out into hives on the spot. "How dare you! I'm allergic to ketchup!" She wailed as she passed out.
"That was unnecessarily cruel," Katnip whined. "She's allergic, you poor buffoon. Have a heart!"
"I do have a heart-it's just not as soppy as yours is, Katnip," Cushion retorted before grabbing a handful of popcorn and gobbling it down whole. "Now...let's get the show on the road. Tonight we're going to bring down the house and free all of the anime from these oppressors of animedom..."
His men cheered, though reluctantly. "I tell you...this one show is total trash...there's this man who gets this weird power to control minds and he is totally gay for this one other guy-"
"I hate that show," Cushion said while popping more popcorn in his mouth.
"Really? Why?" Katnip asked in surprise, kicking the young woman who'd been sitting in the chair next to him as she willingly gave it up to the man who was holding a lamp above her head.
"Please don't burn me..." She whined.
Katnip looked at her in bewilderment. "Woman, are you a vampire? A little light won't hurt your eyes..." He trailed off as he raised it up to her face and suddenly she melted into nothing. "Huh...she was a vampire..."
"That or some crappy sparkly one," Cushion said as he ate the last of the popcorn and advanced on the kernels, who all trembled in fear at the sight of the great Colonel Cushion.
"Don't eat the kernels!" He cried.
"Too late. The kernels must face the wrath of me, Colonel Cushion."
"This is pretty lame for a hostage situation," A pink-haired boy said as he entered the room, carrying a pony in his arms. "I mean, seriously...who would just raid someone's fridge and steal their food by taking a hotel hostage? Why not just steal someone's fridge or better yet go buy your own fridge?"
"Shut up, kid. Beat it-little ones aren't allowed here-I get mean when I have little kids near me," Colonel Cushion barked.
The boy didn't move, however. Instead, he stared at them with blank eyes. "You need to leave. That's what my pony says."
"Who cares about what your imaginary friend says-"
Suddenly Colonel Cushion's food went flying in the air and landed all over him. "How dare you, kid! Don't you throw stuff at me-?"
At that moment, he fell down, with a fork embedded in his shirt, poking holes in it. Undoubtedly it would be ruined by this.
"Relax, Colonel Cushion, your wardrobe will be a lot softer once I'm through," A figure wearing a mask said. Colonel Cushion looked up, as did Lt. Katnip, in time to see a bunch of motorcyclists standing there, all dressed in masks and odd costumes.
"Oh no..." He said, staring at the leader, inevitably a female, due to her pink outfit..."It's the Power Rangers!"
Colonel Cushion gasped. "No...it's...CELTY!"
The lead rolled her eyes. "Please, enough of your stupid anime jokes. My name is Cheerio." She said firmly before she threw a bowl at his head and knocked him out.
"Why you little...help us win back our anime!" Katnip exclaimed, jolting up so fiercely that his coffee spilled all over him, causing him to yowl many curse words in pain.
"My, what vulgar language," Cheerio remarked as she put him in a gag. "Now that'll shut you up."
Katnip still whimpered...but Cheerio ignored him. Her gaze turned to the young boy who was watching her with wide eyes.
"Euchie..." She began. "Or a Hundred Euchre wood..."
"How do you know my nickname?" He cried.
"Prince Cornelius told me, shortly before I was dispatched by him to rescue you." She replied simply.
"Who are you?" He asked.
She just shrugged. "Call me Cheerio. I have no other name now..."
The hotel staff appeared with food in their arms. "Take as much as you like...you saved us from their tyranny!" They cried. They also riddled them with anime DVDs.
Lucia turned her nose at one of the ones that hit her mask and fell to the ground. "...Bacon Brawl Tee? Sailor Monsoon? Peach? Defective Ronin...? What stupid titles," She muttered.
"I like those!" The hotel staff cried, clearly offended by her poor taste. "They're awesome!"
"Who would want to watch a show about fighting bacon?" Rika said to her left. "Cheerio, can we leave now?"
"Nope, we've gotta throw a party to let the world know we exist." She jumped out of a window and landed on a conveniently located boat below and got out a disco ball. "Time to sing...everyone!"
Everyone, including Pierogi groaned.
"Couldn't we just intimidate them with a speech?" Tambourine suggested.
"No, that'd be dull and predictable..." Cheerio said as she grabbed a mike and started to sing while the others dug into their food and started to sing as well...
"How awesome!" Charisma cried, clapping at how awesome her new idols were. "You're not my enemies...you are not worthy of my respect!" She started bowing in front of the television.
"Your highness?" A blue-haired man said as he entered.
"Yes, Jerboa?"
"You have freshly squeezed peach juice waiting for you, with freshly plucked dandelion heads."
"Tasty," She said. "Is my boar ready yet?"
"Yep. He's quite the swine."
"Ha ha," She said dryly.
Schnitzel turned up her nose. "Such shoddy dress...it's totally tacky and inappropriate..."
"The same could be said about your clothing, you know," Souvenir su Britannia snorted.
"I think she's dreamy..." Cassius Claypot and his brother, Carl chirped.
"Oh, shut up..." Custard and his twin, Mollusk said.