Sally had expected the silence and the emptiness – Darrell's letters had warned her – but when she stood at the front gate of the facility the lack of noise rang in her ears so loudly that for a moment she thought she might faint.
Because Darrell had never known what it was like to grow up with other people's thoughts whispering in your ears. By now it was almost comforting: the mumble of the neighbours falling asleep; the flicker of the postman working out his route. So this - this silence, this nothingness of no people, no shop girls, no car drivers -
She took a deep breath and by the time the gates and the main door were open and she was walking inside, she had almost got herself back under control. And there was no shortage of people inside the building. Darrell hugged her, her thoughts echoing her cries of, "I'm so glad you're here! I missed you so much!" Alicia smiled, thinly, and Sally pretended not to notice the whisper of [even Sally will make this place a little more bearable]. Belinda and Mary-Lou and Daphne and Irene crowded round her and their thoughts said, over and over, [this place is still so odd] [so good to see someone from home!] [maybe now Sally's here we can take a few days off] [go to town] [find something new to draw] [I'm tired of sand] [I'm tired of no clouds] [I'm tired of desert]
Which wasn't exactly cheering, but at least they did find it as odd as her.
And then there were the people she hadn't met. Miss Peters, nodding curtly to her and thinking [at least she doesn't look as feather-headed as some of the others]. Bill, smiling and saying it was lovely to meet her but with a head filled with horses galloping across the sand and so much yearning that Sally felt tears sting her own eyes for a second. Zerelda: [aw, gee, she looks like – what do they call them, bluestockings? She's just wunnerful!] Mavis, thoughts echoing her words almost exactly as she said, "They've probably told you about me – I'm the opera singer -"
"Let me show you around," Darrell said, grabbing Sally's hand and racing down the nearest corridor.
"Gosh, yes," Alicia said, [not going to stand around like a lemon with Miss Peters and the drama group, thank you]. "Let's go and look at the main control room, that really is a sight."
Sally tried not to think that it would have been nicer just her and Darrell. They walked through door after door, white-painted swing doors that hissed when you let them close, circles of glass set in them showing nothing but more corridor. She could feel the chatter of everyone else, and as Alicia and Darrell talked she was able to match up the thoughts with the names, to laugh and agree that Bill really did sound horse-mad, that yes, Mavis had introduced herself that way -
[Where's that idiot got to? Honestly, this place is so boring -]
She frowned - that was a new voice, that didn't match -
"Here," Alicia said, typing in a code on a metal door, "this is what they're working on. Or trying to, anyway." They stepped into a large room filled with banks of computers, blinking lights, spools of card and tape, and, in the centre, a giant mass from floor to ceiling that made Sally think of the huddle of wires you saw on telegraph poles and the cluster of metal and vents at the back of a refrigerator.
"Is that it?" she said. "The... inhibitor?"
"That's it." Alicia was quietly proud as if she'd built the thing herself. "Bit of a monster, isn't it?" [Don't want to be anywhere near it when it's turned on] [not that she needs to know – oh, bother]. And a quick glance of irritation. [Would be good to know she wasn't listening all the time]
Sally would have tried not to listen – she knew it was just that the silence of the desert was making her sensitive to every little feeling – but really, Alicia hadn't had to invite herself along just now, had she?
"Well, it all looks very... technical," she said, feeling her voice harden in her throat. "But you say it doesn't actually do anything right now?"
"Not yet," Darrell said. "At least, that's what you said, isn't it, Alicia? Unless things have changed in the last few hours!"
"No, it's not active yet," Alicia said. "But we're getting there. Don't worry, Sally, you didn't come out here for nothing. We should be able to put on quite a good show."
"I suppose that's one way of putting it," Sally said, and she knew she was trying hard not to seem impressed and she should probably be ashamed about it, but Alicia was pleased enough with herself for the both of them.
"I should have remembered you're not really part of the research side of things," Alicia said, her thoughts all needles and pins now. "Darrell, why don't we show her the canteen or something?"
Darrell was frowning – [why are they both so crotchety?] [tired from the journey?] [Alicia didn't like this place anyway] but she nodded: "Yes, you must be hungry, Sally."
They went out by a different door and through so many corridors that Sally was sure she was going to spend all her time here completely lost. Especially if Darrell is going to spend all her time with Alicia, her thoughts added. She tried to ignore them, but she couldn't stop thinking it. After all, the two of them had clearly been doing so up until now, hadn't they? She was creeping back into other people's thoughts, immersing herself in their feelings, which she knew she only did when she was feeling jealous and stupid, but she was tired and she had a headache and Alicia was being insufferable. So. So there was Alicia, humming away about [Sally is being so childish] and [maybe it won't be meatloaf for lunch, I'm so bored of that] and some question about equations and catalysts and conductors underneath it. There was Darrell, joyful that Sally was here but still puzzled about why everyone was so grumpy and faint continuous engine-like rattle of [when they switch that thing on, if it works, if it takes my powers away, does that just make me] [what does that make me] [am I normal or just]
And further away, there was [gee, Miss Peters sure does go on about nothing] [what does it even matter if] and [ridiculous, how am I supposed to complete an initiative this complex when I can't depend on any of my staff] [if Wilhelmina's playing truant again] [I'll take it out of her pay if] and [when I'm an opera singer I shan't see any of these people ever again] -
And beyond that, [there's a storm coming, Thunder knows] [he's scared] [I'm scared too] [I wish they'd never come here] [Miss Peters won't notice if I'm just gone for a few minutes]
And [jolly well wish I could just go for a walk] [probably get lost, though] [maybe Belinda could draw us a car? No, I'd only make it break down], and Belinda's thoughts echoing, [if I drew us some rain would anyone guess? Or some shops] [a cafe! Irene would like that]
And
[just wait] [just wait til it happens] [serve them all right] [especially that pig Alicia]
She stopped, and a particularly pointed [she could at least talk a little] from Alicia glanced off her mind, and she lost the other voice. But it had sounded like -
She gritted her teeth and listened harder, and all of the voices swept in at once (she was picking up Mary-Lou and Daphne now, too, over on the far side of the complex – Mary-Lou frightened of horses and storms, Daphne dreaming of pretty clothes and streetlights) and Alicia's scorn was almost deafening - "Listen," she muttered, "There -" and Alicia retorted [she's so attention-seeking] [can she really not bear Darrell to talk to someone else?] and -
[they mustn't know I'm here]
"Something's wrong," she said. It felt funny, using her mouth to talk, hearing sounds rather than thoughts. "Someone's... going to do something bad. Someone who shouldn't be here."
Alicia thought, [oh, for goodness sake -] but Darrell was frowning: "Who? You can hear them? What are they saying?"
"Something's going to happen." She'd lost the voice again now – it was too hard to talk and to listen. "They want to hurt us."
"Gwendoline?" Darrell said, more quietly.
"I think we'd know if she were hiding in a cupboard somewhere," Alicia said, rolling her eyes.
"Well... not if she'd taken Zerelda's powers," Darrell said. "She could be walking around as one of us and we wouldn't guess. This place is – is big enough you could avoid running into the person you were meant to be."
Alicia bit her lip, and Sally could both see and hear her realising the truth of that.
"We're not telling Miss Peters," she said, at last. "She'd think we were insane. Gosh – if we even knew we were speaking to her and not Gwendoline."
"That's the problem, isn't it?" Darrell was pale, glancing around as she spoke. "We can't trust anyone. Not even -" A quick, nervous look at Alicia, and [what if she's]
"It's all right," Sally said, hastily. "That really is Alicia. I can tell." Gwen's spitefulness is much less obvious, she wanted to say, even though that was spiteful in itself and not even true. "I'll keep my eyes open – I'll keep listening. If I can identify the culprit, then... that tells us something."
Darrell was nodding. Sally saw Alicia look from one to the other of them, and then there was a glint of irritation and then:
"If this person – Gwen – if they're scheming to hurt us, isn't it a little risky to trust everything to that?"
"Well, what else are we supposed to do?" Sally said, just managing not to snap it. "We can't co-ordinate a search of this place – it's huge. Particularly not if we're keeping this a secret from Miss Peters. We'd need to do it systematically, otherwise the shapeshifter would just be able to turn into someone else and sneak out -"
"That's not what I'm thinking of doing," Alicia said. "Don't be ridiculous, Sally." [This will be amazing] [Of course she wants to control it all herself] [That's not going to happen!] "What we'll do is... we'll activate the inhibitor early."
"I thought you said it doesn't work."
"The technology itself should work. It's maintaining it that's the issue. But that's not important. We just need to ensure everyone's in the one room, activate it, and see who stops... being themselves."
"And if Gwendoline is hiding in someone's bedroom? Or a storeroom somewhere?" Sally could hear the scorn in her own voice, but – Alicia's thoughts were practically shouting how this would show Sally and Miss Peters both – you didn't hear, Sally wanted to yell at her, you didn't hear how malevolent those thoughts were – you think this is a game, a trick -
"We'll set off the fire alarm as well," Alicia said. "The whole facility goes onto emergency power. Red lights. Sprinkler system. If it is Gwendoline, there's no way she'll be brave enough to bluff it out. We use that to chase her into the open, and then we switch on the machine."
Darrell was nodding. Sally wanted to shake them both.
"That's a terrible idea," she said, and really, how could they both be so stupid? "We have absolutely no way of ensuring Gwen will make a run for it – or that she won't be able to flee the building if she does – and Miss Peters will be furious, especially if that thing's never been switched on before. What on earth are you thinking?"
Except she knew the answer to that. Darrell was [but it might work] [we have to try] [and if she's in here with us she could do anything] [already tried to kill Mary-Lou twice]. Alicia -
[typical]
Alicia said, pityingly, "I do think you shouldn't reject it just because it's my idea, Sally."
Sally felt sick with fury and she was opening her mouth to argue when Darrell's thoughts sighed, and [oh...]
[She's jealous? I didn't realise]
And then it was just like before when she was nothing but coldness and shame and hearing people hate her.
"Do what you want," she heard the, the nothing say. "I'll keep listening for clues. And if this all blows up in your face, don't blame me."
And then she was walking away, because she was afraid if she didn't she might start crying.
