I don't think this is perfect but I hope it is well received. Thank you for all the great reviews. I hate asking for more but they do so keep me writing. If I don't get them I spend all my time rereading the chapter already posted. I tend to be very particular. Sorry, it's late and I am rambling. Please review:-) and thank you!

Tab xx

Chapter Ten

Pacey awoke suddenly with a racing heart and the feeling that something was wrong. He blinked in the darkness and listened for Alex, but the baby was quiet.

'I'm sorry,' her voice came from the dark doorway and he yelped in surprise.

'Jesus, you scared the crap out of me,' he sat up and as his eyes adjusted he saw her standing there, her eyes glinting in the strip of moonlight his curtains let in. He glanced over at his clock and saw that it was two am. 'Are you ok?' he asked and she shook her head but didn't move. It was kind of eery and he wished she'd say something, anything rather than just standing there. 'Can I help?' he asked and she began to fidget with the hem of the tshirt she was wearing, inadvertently flashing her underwear which of course distracted him. 'Joey,' he flicked his attention back to her face, 'I was asleep and now I'm not. It's the middle of the night and I have work in five hours...'

'Can I sleep here?' her voice was small. She was clearly unsure of herself.

'Huh?' he stared at her in confusion. She padded across the room and sat on the edge of his bed, the mattress creaking.

'I haven't been able to sleep...in prison I just...got so scared. I woke up once and that girl, she was leaning over me just staring, God, always staring. So I began to stay awake and now it feels like months since I last slept. I just thought...I don't know. You make me feel safe. I love feeling that way. Maybe I could sleep if I'm with you?' she proposed it like she was asking him for a sandwich.

'You want to sleep in here with me?' he knew he must sound stunned and bewildered because he was.

'Can friends do that?' she looked so nervous, so painfully sincere. 'I wouldn't ask but I'm so tired Pace.'

'I don't understand,' he gave her a blank look.

'I normally sit and read until I fall asleep but my first day is tomorrow and I...I need sleep.'

'When do you normally fall asleep?'

'Four or five. I don't know. Late, or early I guess.'

'You must be exhausted,' he gazed at her. He wanted to say yes, to lift up the covers and welcome her in. He could wrap his arms around her and hold that perfect body against his, his hand splayed possessively across her taut stomach, his face pressed into the sweet smelling skin of her neck, her soft hair tickling his nose. It would be amazing, but he'd been pushing the friends thing hard. He didn't want her affection if it was an attempt to repay some debt she felt she owed him and so he'd reiterated the just friends thing that first night, put some physical parameters in place. It was hard to be on the constant roller coaster of emotions he was forced to ride all day everyday, loving her, wanting her, but knowing her physical affection was brought on by gratitude and a sense of wanting to repay. Need was something new.

'Please Pace,' she took a step into his room. 'I need sleep.'

'Ok, sure, yeah, ok,' he mumbled and as per his fantasy lifted the edge of his duvet. Within seconds she was sliding in next to him, curling up with her bum nestled against his crotch, her hand reaching for his and dragging it around her so she was essentially cradled in his arms. She sighed, and was apparently tired enough to fall asleep almost instantly. He'd never been one for spooning. It made him too hot and one of his arms always went dead, but he made an instant u turn on that because she felt wonderful pressed up against him, encased in his arms. Her soft, even breaths were reassuring and just precious, mainly because they were hers. He sniffed her hair which was indeed tickling his cheek and it smelt of the cocoanut shampoo he'd bought her at Christmas which now resided in his bathroom where she'd showered earlier. Closing his eyes he was surprised that he too fell asleep easily.

The nightmare hadn't been part of his fantasy. She began to toss and turn at around four, her hands thrashing, forcing him to back away as she muttered the word no. He put a hand on her shoulder and shook her,

'Joey,' he whispered her name. 'Jo, it's Pacey. Wake up,' he brushed the hair from her eyes and her lids fluttered open, her eyes scared. It took her a moment to readjust, but then she was clinging onto him and burying her face in his neck. 'Hey it's ok,' he reassured. 'Shhh, hun, it's ok.'

'I'm sorry,' she sniffed.

'Stop apologizing Jo. You're fine.'

'She said she was going to kill me in my sleep. I just...'

'I get it,' he muttered and he did. Prison had screwed her up because every place had its bullies. In high school Joey was the rough, tough one but in prison she was just a little girl because as bad as she was, she wasn't evil, or crazy, she'd just done the wrong thing and was being taught a very hard lesson. 'You're safe now.'

'I don't feel safe,' she murmured.

'But you are safe. I promise.'

'She said she'd find me,' Joey looked at him, her hair a wild mess, her eyes full of fear.

'She won't,' he reassured. 'She's still in prison.'

'I just want to sleep in my lovely room, I want to be normal for once, but I feel all messed up,' she lay back on his bed and he could see that her eyes were glassy.

'You are normal,' he insisted, 'let yourself get over prison. You'll get better I promise. It won't always feel like this.'

'Says you,' she full on pouted at him and he wanted to kiss her, the feeling so strong it nearly overpowered him as he edged nearer. 'This feels so fleeting, so fragile.'

'What does?' he frowned.

'Living here in this wonderful house, with its pretty rooms, with you. I feel like it's all going to come crashing down.'

'You'll always be welcome here,' he promised.

'I won't,' she shook her head, tangling her hair even more.

'I'm your friend Jo. Friends look out for each other. I won't let anything happen to you I promise. Even if I get fired in the process,' he gave her a sheepish smile and she smiled back.

'Ok. But don't get fired.'

'I won't. They can't fire me because the general public doesn't like the fact that we're friends.'

'Ok.'

'Now, you have work tomorrow and I have work tomorrow so do what you need to do to sleep.'

'Ok,' she edged across the bed and put her head on his chest, her legs entangling with his. 'You know I would be happy to you know...make you more comfortable,' she offered in a sultry voice her hand trailing down his chest and her finger tips just dipping under the top of his boxers. The insinuation, her hand, her voice made all blood travel south until he was straining against his boxers in record time. She could change track so quickly it baffled him - from scared and panicked to sultry and seductive. He put a hand on hers as she brushed a finger against the tip of his cock.

'Hhhh,' he mumbled but pulled her hand away. 'Just friends Jo,' he insisted.

'I know you're attracted to me, why not let me. I want to,' she raised herself up to look at him, her arm resting on his chest.

'Because friends don't do that.'

'And you think we should be just friends,' she sighed.

'You need to stop. The touching, the kissing. Hugs are fine. Sleep like this if you need to but nothing more. I do find you attractive Joey. I find you more attractive than I have ever found anyone else, but we can't go there.'

'Because of your brother? Your job?'

'Just because,' he told her feeling lame but unable to put into words how it would feel to him to have her do those things with him because she felt she owed a debt, especially because he couldn't even see a debt, just how much he loved her. She might like him, she might think him attractive but she felt that sex somehow repayed her debt and that felt wrong. He wanted her to love him and if she didn't then he would have to be satisfied with friends, anything else was just wrong.

'That's not a reason.'

'I can't have that kind of relationship with you,' he told her, aware that he sounded harder than he intended. 'I just can't.'

'Ok,' she nodded. 'I understand. I'll uh...go back to my room.'

'If you want to sleep here then that's ok,' he offered but she shook her head.

'I should just deal with my fears. Maybe I could get some sleeping tablets. I'm sorry Pacey.'

'Stop apologizing please,' he begged.

'Ok,' she nodded and headed out of his room leaving him turned on, frustrated and lonely, and thinking of her, worrying about her - wishing she was still beside him.

'How did it go?' he asked as he headed into the house after his long shift. Alex was sat on his hip and he couldn't deny how happy it made him to know he was coming home to Joey.

'Errr,' she mumbled and held out her hands to Alex and proceeded to throw him in the air.

'Joey?' he gave her a look and she rolled her eyes,

'It was ok, I guess.' She pulled Alex's belly to her face and blew raspberries causing him to squeal in delight.

'You guess?' his voice squeaked and he felt embarrassed but she didn't seem to notice,

'This one old biddy, she reminded me of Mrs Ryan. She clearly disapproved of just everything about me. When she saw my tattoo she outright tutted.'

'You have a tattoo?' Pacey's eyes widened. He wasn't into tattoos but suddenly the idea of one on Joey was hotter than anything.

'Yep,' she lifted her shirt and turned so he could see the small birds, several of them, all in different positions of flight and all in various bright rainbow colours, flying up her side. It was quite beautiful and not black as he'd have expected. He wanted to touch it, to kiss each bird. 'When I was stacking books on the top shelves my shirt rode up and she could see it. They treated me like I was f-ing stupid too. It's not rocket science you know. Alphabetize and shelve them. I kept telling them I got it but they insisted I didn't. I did though and I was great.'

'Well done Jo,' he gave her a huge smile.

'Thanks,' she smiled back and pushed herself up onto the kitchen sideboard. 'Whatcha cooking us for dinner?' she gave him a coy look, eyelashes fluttering and everything.

'You know I think you enjoyed today,' he leaned on the counter beside her watching Alex walk to his toy farm, before flicking his eyes back to Joey.

'I did not,' she responded indignantly.

'You're in a good mood for someone who hated it,' he pointed out.

'I get to come home here!' she gestured around her, 'to you and Alex. And I'm not holding up signs on a construction site which is what I thought I'd be doing.'

'And?' he gave her a brilliant smile.

'And I guess the library has a nice atmosphere. I chose some good books and I kinda liked teaching the old dears a lesson in stereotyping.'

'That's my girl,' he longed to kiss her and found his eyes absorbed in that gorgeous mouth. He couldn't understand how he could be so obsessed with kissing. He and his last girlfriend had barely kissed but now he dreamt about kissing Joey, and his mind was consumed with remembering all the different kisses they had shared, how her lips felt, how her tongue felt, every little detail. He could wile away several hours quite happily ensconced in memories and fantasies. She slipped off the counter,

'I'll take Alex outside to play if you like? If you're happy to cook?'

'I'm happy to cook,' he shrugged as he locked up his gun. 'What do you feel like?'

'That gooey rice thing,' she said immediately.

'Risotto?'

'Yeah. Please.'

'You wanna prep for your interview when Alex is in bed?'

'Definitely,' she nodded.

'How did it go?' Pacey asked as Joey slipped into his squad car a furious expression on her face.

'I got in,' she scowled.

'Don't sound too happy about it,' he mirrored her expression and she thumped his arm,

'Don't mock me,' she gave him evil eyes and he laughed,

'But you're so cute when you're all angry and stuff.'

'I'm not angry,' she rolled her eyes, 'I'm irritated.'

'Why?'

'Because they love my graffiti...'

'Which is good...because the cops don't love it,' he rolled his eyes and she begrudgingly smiled,

'Stop being a doufuss,' she ordered.

'Tell me why you're being Ms. Moody?'

'Because they didn't love my sketches. They said I need a better portfolio of work. They were surprised and concerned I'd only ever worked in pencil and spray can.'

'That's a problem we can fix, right?'

'Art supplies are expensive,' she explained as if he were a simpleton.

'So build up bit by bit,' he spoke back the same way.

'You're annoying today,' she prodded him in the chest.

'You're annoying everyday,' he prodded her arm.

'You'll pay for that,' she narrowed her eyes but was smiling as she went for his waist with pinched fingers,

'Uncle, uncle,' he yelped but instead of withdrawing she pressed her head to his chest, turning her head and pressing a kiss there 'Jo...'

'I know, I know, friends,' she mumbled.

'I was going to say I know this awesome art store. We have a few hours before we need to collect Alex. Let's go. It's only half an hour from here.'

'And I have no money,' she sat up in her seat and frowned again.

'No scowling in the squad car, new rule,' he told her and boinked her nose. 'You are gonna be paid tomorrow. We'll pick up a few oil pastels and some charcoal.'

'Did you boink my nose?' she asked with a dropped jaw.

'Yes,' he grinned. 'Now buckle up before I write you a ticket and your precious art supply cash goes to the Capeside Police Department.'

'Whatcha doing?' Pacey asked a couple of days later as he built towers with Alex in the yard. He was working the late shift and had enjoyed spending the morning with both Joey and Alex, relaxing over breakfast and enjoying the Spring sunshine. He'd laid a rug in the grass under a tree and he and Alex were playing on it together. Joey was sat in a garden chair at the table with her new sketchbook and charcoals.

'Drawing you,' she smirked at his expression.

'Me? Why?'

'They said I needed to practice certain basics like the human form, still life, all of that and in different mediums too. Today is you in charcoal,' she bit her lip with her teeth as she concentrated. Abandoning tower building he crawled over to her chair to look at the profile of his face she had drawn. It was technically brilliant. In his opinion anyway. He could see where she'd allowed her personality and style to shine through, as patterns began to weave their way into the lines.

'That's me in charcoal,' he said impressed. She smiled and rubbed her index finger down his nose and then gestured to him,

'You in charcoal!'

'Haha,' he rolled his eyes and rubbed at his nose. 'I like the patterns in my hair, and here...' he gestured to his neck, 'they're very you.'

'I can copy but I get bored. It's therapeutic, especially copying people, you know getting their faces and their expressions just right, but it always needs to say more for me.'

'I wish I could draw,' he lamented and she laughed,

'Everyone can draw.'

'Well I wish I could draw well,' he clarified.

'Here try,' she pulled out a sheet and put it on the garden table and handed him a piece of charcoal. 'Star simple, a flower petal or a blade of grass. Work out.'

'Sure,' he set to work only to feel Alex sidle up to him.

'Pace up,' he held out his hands.

'I'm drawing bud,' he tapped the kids nose.

'Pace up,' Alex began to whine so Pacey pulled him onto his knee and handed him a piece of charcoal. While he drew the petal Joey had put in front of him Alex scribbled all over the top. It was a wonderful morning.

Pacey kissed Alex on the forehead and laid him in his crib.

'Sleep tight little guy,' he patted his stomach and smiled. Despite being sleepy Alex smiled back at him. Pacey couldn't deny he loved the kid. Maybe it was caring for this helpless being, or maybe he was just a really sweet kid, but he would have walked to the ends of the earth for him. Pacey cast a glance at his watch. It was seven thirty, which meant Joey would be home soon. Her shift at the library was a late one. The library closed at seven on a Wednesday and after that he found himself clock watching until she walked through the door.

He had been living with Joey for three weeks. She would be starting at college in a couple of days but until then she was working part time at the library and checking in with her parole officer. She told him she worked hard but mostly in silence, the other more stereotypical staff giving her a distinct cold shoulders. He tried to convince her she was imagining it, but it was probably true.

She spent most of her free time creating art on the old packing boxes from his move, her new favourite base for experimenting with oil paints. He loved to watch her in the garden entirely absorbed as she worked on landscapes. When Alex was home from daycare she spent all her time playing with him, tireless in a way he feared he wasn't. She was good with the baby. Useless with food, preferring to feed him left overs from whatever he'd cooked, but brilliant with the baby. The social worker had visited, wanting to assess the new living situation but had deemed Joey acceptable with the baby and thus able to spend unsupervised time with him. She had been so angry at all that implied but he had calmed her down, helped her see the bigger picture.

Closing Alex's door Pacey headed downstairs and pulled out a frying pan, a chopping board and his sharp knife. He headed to the fridge for vegetables and chicken. His head was still in there as he heard the door open,

'Hey Jo,' he couldn't stop his smile at the sight of her. She looked incredibly hot. He wasn't afraid of his attraction to her anymore. She was wearing black skinny jeans, her black boots over the top and some top thing with a plunging neck line. Her hair was up in a bun and she had on a tonne of makeup. She looked fierce and totally unlike a librarian.

'I missed Alex?' she frowned and he nodded,

'Sorry,' he stood, desperate to touch her. He continued to put clear distance between them since her first day home, desperately trying to cling onto the friends.

'Oh it's ok,' she stared at him, her eyes tracking over him from head to toe. He was still in his uniform after working the early shift.

'Work ok?' he asked as he began to chop an onion.

'It was ok...before you go too far I'm going out...' she watched him closely so she probably saw him falter. She hadn't been out since she'd been home, well no where other than the shop or work, or for a walk with him and Alex.

'Oh,' it felt like his heart was beating so hard it might stall. 'Where?'

'This guy...he asked me out for a drink...'

'But...'

'I told him we could go for a coke at Munchies,' she said before he raised her lack of legality. 'I mean...it's ok if I go out?'

'I told you you're an adult,' he shrugged, staring at the vegetables he was chopping and not at her, his voice coming out thick as he fought back the feeling of utter, gut wrenching disappointment and pain. He was surprised at how much it hurt. But then he'd thought she felt something. She'd look at him a lot, and there were moments when he swore she wanted to be closer than they were, physically and emotionally. She was as careful as he was though, and she didn't cuddle up to him as she had done when she'd stayed with him in his apartment. If he was on the couch she chose the chair. It was as simple as that.

'You don't mind?' she asked and he could feel her eyes on him even if he couldn't look up.

'Sure, no,' he shook his head thinking that he minded a great deal. 'Who is this guy?'

'I don't know. He came into the library to use the Internet. He was staring at me and I told him to quit it. We got talking and he asked me out. I guess I thought why not?' She shrugged. Why not? God because it would kill him to see her with another guy, to think of her out getting a coke, the guys hand on her thigh. 'You ok?' she asked. 'You look kinda sick.'

'I'm fine,' he lied, and pushed the chopping board away. 'I uh...need the bathroom. Have fun,' he finished lamely and headed out of the kitchen.

'Don't wait up for me,' she called after him. She may as well have kicked him. He made it to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and then dropping to the floor.

'Fuck, goddamned, fuck,' he swore trying to still his breathing, all the while waiting for that feeling of something being dreadfully wrong to dissipate. Of course it wasn't going to go because she was going out with some absolute dick that happened to wonder into the library to uselthe Internet, and of course saw her and wanted her. And she said yes. All the tentative hope he'd felt evaporated into a heap of ashes that were still smouldering with his pain and crushed fantasies. It hurt, the unrequited love thing hurt a great deal. More than he could have imagined which he figured meant that he was more in love than he ever had been.