I know, it's late i'm sorry, BUT this is a freaking mammoth chapter, I know I say that all the time, but seriously, it's 40 freaking pages! FORTY! A huge thanks to my editor for not only editing all 40 pages and dealing with my - at times - unintelligible ramblings, but actually managing to get it done so fast whilst juggling a fulltime job. Anyway, enjoy this jampacked chapter, see you next time.
"Your room's a mess." Anna commented dumbly as she pulled on the button up shirt her sister loaned her.
"You're just realising this now?" Elsa chuckled from where she sat on the edge of the bed, feeling a little disappointed that Anna's beautiful features were being covered up once more. "You've been in here for nearly twelve hours, Anna. I thought you would have noticed sooner." She drawled sarcastically.
Anna shot her a glare from over her shoulder, though it lacked the heat of any seriousness. "I'm sorry," she said dryly, "I was a little…"
"Distracted?" Elsa offered with a knowing grin.
Anna blushed, tucking a stand of hair behind her ear as she bit her lip, "Yes, that." The redhead sent Elsa another playful glare, sticking her tongue out playfully. "Have you been writing?" She asked curiously as she eyed the balled-up papers that littered the room.
Elsa's heartbeat suddenly increased, she'd completely forgotten about the song she had written the day before and now Anna was walking over to the notepad to investigate. Elsa jumped from the bed and raced over to swipe up the pad before her sister could get a good look. It wasn't that she thought Anna would be upset with the contents, it was just, well… now that Anna was hers, she was a little ashamed of the lyrics and didn't want to make her sister feel guilty. The song was about her, after all.
"It's nothing." Elsa blurted out. Her tone was strained as she clutched the papers to her chest as though her life depended on it. She shuddered at the disbelieving look Anna was giving her, it was obvious her sister didn't believe her. "I mean, it's not quite finished… and I… well, I wasn't in my right mind when I wrote it." She hastened to explain, hoping it would be enough to expunge the redhead's curiosity.
Anyone expecting Anna to just let a comment like that go clearly didn't know her at all. It was then that the redhead took a small step forward, her features softening as she gazed up at her older sister shyly. "Would you play it for me?" She asked softly, hopefully.
Elsa hesitated in her reply, she hadn't thought about this when she wrote it, other people's reactions to the lyrics. It was… very personal to say the least and the thought of sharing it with the person it was written about left her feeling vulnerable. Elsa wanted nothing more than to sink through the floor into the apartment below.
Elsa could feel her cheeks colouring and her ears burning as she looked away from Anna's pleading eyes. "Anna… I don't think-"
"Please." The redhead interrupted as she placed a gentle hand on Elsa's arm.
Oh god, how could Elsa possibly say no now? It was impossible, especially while Anna looked at her with such a soft, tender expression. This was obviously important to the redhead, it was clear as day in the desperate way her eyes were pleading with Elsa, she looked as though she might break if the blonde refused her.
Elsa sighed deeply and closed her eyes as she took in a deep breath to calm herself. "Not that song-" Anna's eyelids slid shut in disappointment, her face growing solemn. Elsa felt like she'd just broken Anna's heart all over again, "but I'll play something else for you." She offered instead, "that song… it's just… too raw right now. I promise I'll play it for you another time, I just… can't right now."
Anna's eyes shot back open, her lips curling into an appreciative smile as she leant in and kissed Elsa's cheek softly. "Please, it would mean a lot to me. I just want to hear you play."
Elsa grinned back, warm and loving as she moved to the piano bench, motioning to the space beside her for Anna to sit. She tried not to think of her dream, the one she'd had of them playing together, and the memory of what had happened after. Though, her mission was made a little easier as she looked down at her keyboard piano, not a grand piano like the one in her dream so there was nowhere for her to ravish Anna on this one.
The fact that there was a perfectly good bed behind her was irrelevant.
Elsa mulled over which song to play for Anna. Unless her sister asked, she was determined not to play her first original song, not right now, with that damned dream back on her mind. She flicked through her list of sheet music and found a song that appealed to her. She kept the page open as she poised her fingers over the keys, not that she needed it, she knew every note, every chord by heart, but still, having the music in front of her was like a safety blanket.
She could admit she was nervous, she wasn't used to having an audience and this was Anna, the most important person in her life, the woman that owned her heart. It was stupid, but Elsa wanted to impress her, messing up a note would be embarrassing to say the least. She knew Anna would like the song she'd chosen, or at least, she was pretty sure she would.
Elsa drew in a deep breath to steel herself and shook her hands to try and dispel her nerves. The song wasn't even all that challenging to play, not for Elsa anyway. She had played it that much that it was forever imprinted into her brain. So much so, that she could play it with one hand behind her back with her eyes closed… okay, maybe not one handed as the song required two… but still, she just really didn't want to mess up, and this song, the lyrics, they held great meaning for her and she dearly hoped they would mean just as much to Anna.
Now that she had delayed enough, and probably worked up more nerves than she had to begin with, Elsa finally began to play. The melody was soft and slow, the lyrics heartfelt and romantic, this song always made her tear up, and singing it for Anna… well, she just hoped she could get through it.
"Something in your eyes
Makes me wanna lose myself,
Makes me wanna lose myself, In your arms"
Elsa felt herself begin to relax, losing herself in the moment, the melody and harmony enveloping her soul. Everything else shrunk away until all that remained was the music, the lyrics, and Anna.
"There's something in your voice,
Makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts
The rest of my life
If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done"
Elsa began to struggle a little, a flurry of wonderful images flittered through her mind along with the emotions they evoked and it was taking every ounce of her will power not to cry. She had always loved the lyrics, but sitting here, playing and singing for Anna, god it just made them all the more powerful. They said everything she wanted to say to Anna, described exactly how she felt in a way she probably couldn't express herself.
She felt Anna shift next to her, pressing closer, but Elsa didn't dare turn her head. She knew if she looked at her sister now that it would be the end of her; she'd break and wouldn't be able to finish.
"It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
"A window breaks down a long dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright
'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see through the dark there is light
"If you knew how much this moment means to me
And long I've waited for your touch
If you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much"
Elsa's voice cracked and wavered with that last verse. She meant each and every word she sang; she had never been happier than she was with Anna, she'd never loved anyone as much as she loved the redhead beside her. She could feel a warmth blooming in her chest, her heart swelling so rapidly that it was almost painful. She smiled softly with tears in her eyes as Anna curled an arm around her waist and rested her head on her shoulder. Elsa could feel the warm exhales on her neck, the dampness of tear tracks on her cheek, and she almost stopped playing but Anna held her tighter and shook her head softly.
"Keep going." Anna whispered, her voice tight with emotion as she trembled beside her sister.
"It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong"
The moment Elsa finished the last note, Anna was in her lap with Elsa's head in her hands, her lips pressing searing kisses against her own. With wet cheeks and trembling hands, they clung to each other, pressing as close as possible. It was as though they were afraid they'd fall apart if they loosened their grips.
"It feels like home to me too." Anna whispered tightly, her forehead resting against Elsa's as her thumbs brushed just below her eyes, wiping her tears away before they had a chance to fall.
Elsa hiccupped in lieu of a response and held Anna impossibly tighter. She couldn't conjure the words she wanted to say, but the song had already done that for her. Anna didn't seem to mind, she understood without words everything Elsa was trying to convey.
Elsa didn't know how long they stayed like that for as time seemed to freeze when she had Anna in her arms. Everything else simply melted away into nothingness and she wouldn't change it for the world. She would happily stay like that forever if it meant never letting go of Anna.
It was the redhead who pulled back first, she sniffled softly as she wiped at her eyes. "That was beautiful, Elsa." She whispered as if she was afraid she'd break the spell they were under if she spoke any louder. "Thank you." Anna gave Elsa a smile so soft, so warm and loving that Elsa felt her heart double in size.
Elsa returned her sister's smile, picking up her hand and bringing it to her lips, "You're welcome," she replied sincerely, "I've been playing that song almost constantly since the day we met, just ask Belle, I'm sure she's sick of it by now. But I just can't help it, every time I play it I think of you. Everything I feel inside-" Elsa placed Anna's hand over her own heart "-everything in here, is expressed in that song. It's in the melody, the harmony, and the lyrics, I just-"
Anna cut Elsa off with a soft, fluttering kiss, "I love you too Elsa." She grinned brightly, her eyes shimmering with so much love and emotion they were overflowing. Then she pulled back and paused for a moment, "Wait… speaking of Belle, where is she?" Anna asked curiously.
Elsa chuckled softly and shook her head, "Wow, you really are unobservant, aren't you?" She teased lightly, earning herself a half-hearted glare and pink tongue poking out at her from the redhead.
Anna rolled her eyes and swatted Elsa's shoulder. "I'm sorry I was more concerned about my sister than her roommate, would you prefer if it was the other way around?" The younger girl questioned playfully.
Elsa just managed to stop herself from rolling her own eyes and taking the bait, "She's at her boyfriend's place." She said instead. "She usually stays there over the weekends, so she won't be back until Sunday."
Anna nodded affirmatively before hopping off Elsa's lap and standing before her. She held her hands out for her sister to take, "C'mon Els, we'd better go home and check on Papa," She said as she helped pull Elsa to her feet. "I'm worried about him. I didn't want to leave him last night, but he insisted. I've never seen him look so broken before."
Anna took a step back and began to head towards the door, only to have her hand caught and tugged until she stopped. Elsa pulled her sister's body closer to her own as she wrapped her arms around Anna's neck. "He'll be okay, Anna. He has both of us now, just like I have the both of you. We'll all be there for each other." Elsa bowed her head and softly kissed the top of Anna's crown. "We'll get through this, together."
"Papa?" Anna called quietly as she entered their home with Elsa by her side and their hands laced together. When there was no response the girls padded into the lounge and the sight that met their eyes broke Anna's heart.
Agnarr was still on the couch where Anna had left him yesterday, slumped on his side, his legs dangling off the sofa. Resting on the floor was an empty bottle of scotch hanging loosely in his grasp.
"Oh, Papa." Anna sighed forlornly as she rushed to her father's side. She sat herself down on a narrow strip of the couch and brushed her hand over his forehead. She could see the dried tear tracks on his cheeks, the skin around his eyes was red and puffy, and his whole appearance was dishevelled and unkempt, it made her want to cry.
"Papa, wake up Papa." She cooed softly, squeezing his shoulder in an attempt to rouse him. The man reeked of stale alcohol, the stench made Anna's nose wrinkle, she had never seen her father look so… pitiful before. It was gut-wrenching to see him like this but, Anna knew she couldn't break, she had to stay strong, for her father and for Elsa. They both needed her right now and she wouldn't be any good to either of them if she crumbled too.
After calling his name a few more times, Agnarr finally started to stir. Anna helped him sit up as he scrubbed his face with his hands, "Anna?" He muttered blearily as his eyes struggled to focus. "What-what are you doing here? I thought you were with Elsa?" He asked, swaying a little in his seat.
"I'm here Papa." Elsa said softly, giving him a weak smile as she sat herself by his side, taking one of his hands in her own.
Agnarr returned his daughter's sorrowful smile and looked back to Anna, his eyes asking the question he wasn't strong enough to voice. "I was brave, Papa." She told him, giving him a genuine smile as she looked to Elsa. "I was brave."
Agnarr couldn't respond verbally, instead he wrapped his arms around both daughters and pulled them in close, crying silently as he held them tight. "Why don't you go and take a shower, get yourself cleaned up, and I'll whip up something in the kitchen?" Anna suggested after they separated, wiping the tears from her eyes as she stood.
Their father nodded solemnly and slowly trudged to his bathroom. Once their father was out of sight Anna turned back to Elsa and brushed her hand over her sister's tired eyes. "Why don't you take one too Elsa? You can use the main bathroom, refresh yourself." She offered as she wrapped her arms around Elsa's waist, the blonde now standing in front of her.
Elsa shook her head and sniffled, "I don't want to be alone right now." She said softly.
Anna smiled at her supportively and wiped the tears from her eyes, "I never want you to be alone." She whispered in reply and gave Elsa a soft kiss, snaking her arms around her sister's neck as they rested their foreheads together and swayed on the spot.
Elsa was the first to pull away, rubbing her eyes as Anna took her hand and led her into the kitchen. "Why don't you just sit down and relax? I'm going to make us some hot chocolate and get breakfast started." She said kissing the top of Elsa's head before getting started in the kitchen.
Elsa shook her head again, "No, I-I want to help." She insisted pleadingly, "Please, if I stop, then I'll break, I just need to keep busy." Elsa's breath hitched as she sniffed again, trying to keep her tears at bay.
Anna put the utensils aside and rushed to her sister's side, gathering her up in her arms again as she peppered kisses over Elsa's head. "It's okay Els, you're allowed to break, you're allowed to grieve." She assured softly as she stroked her hands through Elsa's hair. "It's okay to be upset."
The blonde began to sob again as Anna pulled her in close. Elsa's head rested on her shoulder as she ran her hands up and down her sister's back, a few stray tears of her own tumbled down her cheeks.
They stayed like that for a little while, slowly swaying on the spot, holding tight to the one they loved the most. They both needed the closeness and contact, they needed to know they weren't alone; neither one could bear to be alone right now.
"Okay, come on, let's get breakfast started." Anna pressed a kiss to Elsa's forehead and then pulled back, "why don't you put the kettle on and some toast organised, I'll get the bacon and eggs going?" Elsa nodded and rubbed at her eyes before following Anna's instructions.
Agnarr reappeared just as Anna was plating everything up. Elsa was pouring herself and Anna a mug of thick, steaming coco and a strong black coffee for their father as they all sat at the table together. Agnarr was at the head, Elsa and Anna sat next to each other.
"Feeling any better?" Anna asked as she cut up her bacon. It had been nice, cooking with Elsa, almost like a normal couple, being all domestic in the kitchen. She was quite proud to say that she didn't even burn a thing… well, okay, she did have to throw out a slice of toast, but Elsa's lips had found her neck and she'd found it very difficult to focus at that point.
"A little, thank you." Agnarr replied with a small smile; his voice still tight though and Anna felt her heart break for him a little.
They made small talk as they ate, neither sister bringing up what was written in their mother's letter. Now wasn't the time for those sorts of questions, not with everything being so raw. There would be plenty of opportunities for that later, besides, Anna was yet to read hers and it might give more answers than Elsa's did.
"Elsa," Agnarr began hesitantly once their meal was almost finished, "what-what was your mother like? Was… was she good to you?" He asked. Anna could tell from his expression that he felt guilty for not being a part of her life for all those years, even though it was out of his control.
Elsa looked to Anna and seemed to take a moment to consider her response. "She was… cold and distant, she always kept me at arm's length, she wouldn't really let me get close to her. If I asked about you or Anna, or your deaths, she'd either completely shut down on me or she'd snap, but I never got any answers. I guess that was a lie she couldn't come up with." She sighed bitterly and pushed her almost empty plate aside. "She just kept to herself I guess. I stayed out of her way, she stayed out of mine. My needs were always met, she helped me with homework and academics growing up, helped me find work, but she always disliked my love of music and ambition to become a song writer. She always said it was a waste of my time and I would do better applying myself to a field that could take me somewhere.
"She wasn't a bad mother," Elsa assured after seeing Agnarr's pained expression, "she just wasn't… approachable, I guess. She wasn't the type of mother you could go to with a problem, but on the other hand, she wasn't uncaring or unsupportive. When I came out to her, she seemed unfazed, like she had suspected for years. I had spent weeks trying to figure out how best to tell her and I was so afraid she'd push me aside or kick me out, but it ended up being a complete non-issue. It was almost disappointing; it felt as though I was simply telling her about the weather, not this humongous thing that had been causing me hell for months. But that was just her, she was… detached."
Elsa sighed again and hung her head. Anna felt her heart clench for her sister, so she reached for her hand under the table and squeezed it supportively. She felt bad for Elsa, they'd both had such different upbringings. Anna had an amazing father who was always there for her and she knew she could always go to him if she needed help or support. They shared everything and had an incredible bond. Then, there was Elsa, raised by a mother who didn't want to know her own daughter, who never let her get close and shut herself off emotionally. Anna couldn't imagine what it was like to have Idunn as a mother. She didn't know what she would have done without her father's support over the years, it got her through so much, though it did explain a lot about Elsa and why she is the way she is.
"I'm so sorry Elsa. I wish I could have been there for you, to give you the emotional support you needed. Physical needs are one thing, but emotional needs are just as important, if not even more so. I should have been there for you." Agnarr sighed regrettably, it was very clear he blamed himself, and the guilt of that weighed heavily on his chest.
Elsa released Anna's hand and reached across her to hold one of her father's that was resting on the table. "It's not your fault," she implored sternly, giving him firm eye contact as she spoke. "I don't know why Mama did what she did, but she was obviously hiding something and didn't want to be found out. It wasn't your fault at all."
"No, you don't understand!" Agnarr growled through gritted teeth, startling his daughters with the abrupt change in mood. "It is my fault; all of this is my fault! I didn't go along with the plan, if I had…" He stopped himself abruptly, shaking his head as he pushed his chair back from the table and stood. "Thanks for the meal, but I think I'll retire for the night." Agnarr said coldly and began to walk off.
"But Papa-" Anna's words were cut off when their father's door slammed behind them, "…it's not even the evening yet." She murmured quietly to her plate.
"What was all that about?" Said a stunned Elsa, still looking at Agnarr's door.
"I-I don't know. I guess he had a Hagrid moment and almost said too much." She responded sourly, thoroughly confused by her father's behaviour. It was rare he got mad like that; she couldn't remember the last time he'd stormed off, and she just hoped he didn't have another bottle of scotch in there.
"A 'Hagrid moment?'" Elsa asked with a raised brow as she tried to supress a chuckle.
"Yeah, y'know, Hagrid from Harry Potter, 'I should not have said that, I shouldn't have said that.'" Anna responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Elsa chuckled softly, "yes, I got the reference. I just didn't know you were a Harry Potter fan."
Anna sat back in her seat, folding her arms and smiled playfully, "Well, there's a lot you don't know about me, dear sister."
Elsa's face dropped instantly as she shuffled uncomfortably and looked down at her empty plate, "I guess there is." She murmured sadly.
Anna picked up Elsa's hands in her own and gave them a squeeze, "Oh Els, I didn't mean it like that." She brought her fingers up to brush the bangs from Elsa's face, "besides, there's a lot I don't know about you, but just like every new relationship, we'll learn about each other along the way." Anna held Elsa's chin between her finger and thumb and lifted her head until she could meet Elsa's eyes and gave her a smile before leaning in and kissing her softly. "Just for future reference, I love Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean and Charmed and Friends and Bones… and Twilight's okay, but I prefer the books, ooh and-"
She never got to finish her sentence, Elsa's lips were back on hers, pressing against them insistently until Anna smiled and melted in the kiss.
"You know what I love?" Elsa murmured softly when they eventually parted, her forehead resting against her sister's.
"What's that?" Anna asked, her hands playing with the fine hairs at the base of Elsa's skull.
"Your lips." She said pressing her fingers against them as she spoke, "and your eyes," Elsa's thumbs softly brushed over her closed lids, "your smile," she cradled Anna's cheeks in her palms, "and your hair, and your laugh, and your freckles… but most of all, I love this," Elsa rested her hand over Anna's chest, directly above her heart. "This is what I love most about you." She whispered.
"And it belongs to you." Anna whispered in reply, "always."
Anna and Elsa were curled up together on a wooden bench outside, the blonde slowly inhaling the toxic chemicals from her cigarette. She had looked ashamed as she came clean to Anna, but the redhead didn't care, the last few months hadn't been easy on either of them and if smoking had helped Elsa to cope, then Anna wasn't going to hold it against her. She had already suspected of course, she tasted it on Elsa's tongue, smelt it on her clothes so it wasn't a surprise when Elsa admitted her addiction.
The sun was just beginning to set, bathing the patio in an orange fiery glow. Sitting open on their laps was an old photo album that Anna had found in the attic, filled with grainy images of a redheaded toddler. They'd cooed over photos of a baby Anna in a massive cloth nappy, Anna's first foods – she had mashed banana smeared all over her face – Anna taking her first steps, Anna in a swing, Anna asleep in Agnarr's arms, Anna playing in the snow, Anna at the beach, Anna, Anna-
"Anna… have you noticed… I'm not in any of these? Not a single one so far." Elsa commented quietly, though Anna could hear the hurt in her voice.
"What?" The redhead said, furrowing her brows, "No, that can't be right. These were when we were together, there has to be photos of you in here somewhere…" Anna started flicking through the rest of the album, but Elsa was right… there wasn't a single photo of her in any of these either.
There were photos that looked like Anna was standing next to someone, or looking at something off to the side, but they'd been cut down, the image cropped. "Mama isn't in any of these either," She realised, "only Papa and me."
Elsa was quiet for a moment, puffing on her cigarette as she mulled over what to say next. Her arm had stopped stroking Anna's and was now just resting there, ghosting over her skin as the blonde tried to find her words. "Maybe… maybe he cut us out of them when Mama left with me, maybe it was too painful for him to look at?" She offered sadly as she thumbed her way through a few pages of the album.
Anna could hear the sadness in her voice, could sense the feeling of rejection. She knew that feeling all too well herself. She took the album from Elsa's hand, standing as she placed it back in the box and then held out her hands for her sister to take. "Come on, how about we take a warm bath together?" She suggested as her sister took her hands and Anna pulled her from the bench. "We can ask Papa about the photos tomorrow, but for now, I think we could both use a long soak in a steaming hot tub." Anna chirped as Elsa stubbed out her butt, throwing it into the trashcan nearby. "C'mon, bathroom's this way."
"…Anna, you do remember that I spent my first eight years in this house? The décor might have changed, but I still know my way around." Elsa deadpanned.
Anna stopped in her tracks and blushed bright red before ducking her head with embarrassment. "I actually did forget." She murmured quietly. When she chanced a look at Elsa her sister was giving her a disbelieving look. "I'm sorry!" Anna squeaked, "it's just… I was so young, and my memories of those days are vague, and I still have trouble associating you as an adult with you as a child. I'm so used to being an only child that I forget you were raised here too."
"It's okay Anna, I was just teasing." Elsa chuckled softly as they entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. "My memories are a little stronger, though some are cloudy, but I was three years older and three years can make a big difference when you're kids."
"It feels like so long ago, doesn't it?" Anna mused as she began to draw the bath, adding rose scented soap to water, breathing in the heavenly perfume as it began to froth up. "When I look back and focus on our childhood it feels like I'm watching someone else's life rather than my own." With her back to her sister, she began stripping out of her clothes, removing her jeans first before starting on her shirt buttons.
"It does." Elsa agreed softly as Anna swirled the bathwater around with her hand, checking the temperature. "But looking at our lives now, I'm glad we weren't raised as sisters." Anna whipped around looking a little hurt, so Elsa scrambled to explain. "Not that you wouldn't have been a great sister, or that losing you was easy or didn't hurt – it did, more than I can even express – but if we grew up as sisters, if we were raised together, I don't think we'd be as close as we are now, and we definitely wouldn't be together. We might have drifted apart over the years. I might just be the annoying big sister, always bossing you around, and getting in your way. I'm glad we have what we have now. I think I like you better as my partner than my little sister."
Anna felt the affection wash over her as she took a step towards Elsa and wrapped her arm around her neck. "I'd rather have you as my partner too." She whispered and then kissed the blonde softly before turning her attention back to the bath. As soon as it was full enough she turned off the taps, finished undressing, and hopped in, leaving room for Elsa to sit behind her. The blonde slid into the bubbles, her back resting against the tub with Anna between her legs, leaning heavily against her. Anna hummed in contentment, she couldn't imagine anything more peaceful than this moment.
Anna smiled as she felt a soft kiss being pressed against the top of her head, "I love you." She said warmly. Her smile only growing when she felt Elsa's hands tighten around her belly, and her breath hitch in her chest where it rested against her back.
"I love you more." Came Elsa's response, breathed almost directly into her ear.
Anna shivered pleasantly and turned a little, so she could face her sister. She brought a hand up to Elsa's face, gently cupping her cheek in her palm as she brushed her thumb over a pale cheekbone. Her heart was beating merrily in her chest, the organ practically singing with joy now that she'd finally given in and was giving love a chance.
She couldn't remember ever being as she happy as she was right now, in this moment when everything else outside that door could be forgotten about: the stresses from work, the grief of loss, the ever-present niggling in the back of her mind, that little voice in her head telling her that she wasn't worthy of this, that it wasn't worth the effort, it would only end in pain. Right here, in this room, relaxing in the arms of someone who loved her more than she could ever possibly comprehend, who made her feel safe and warm and at home, this is where she wanted to stay.
Anna gave Elsa a loving smile and delicately kissed her lips, "That's not possible." She whispered softly, "No one could ever love anyone else as much as I love you." The redhead grinned and kissed her again, just because she could, because it just felt so right; she never wanted this moment to end.
Elsa hiked a golden brow and smirked, "Are we going to have our first fight as a couple over who loves the other more?" She teased lightly, giving Anna's midsection a tickle as she pressed her forehead against her sister's temple.
Anna giggled and squirmed before splashing a handful of water at Elsa. "I suppose we could both come to the agreement that we love each other equally, you know, just to save ourselves an argument." She suggested playfully as she pinched Elsa's side, the blonde twitching and squeaking in response.
"That sounds fair." Elsa agreed with a chuckle as she settled back into place. Her arms once again wrapped around Anna's waist, drawing light patterns on the warm flesh there.
"Glad we sorted that out." Anna mused, resting her head on Elsa's shoulder as she turned her own and kissed a pale cheek.
They both fell into a peaceful silence, relaxing in the arms of the other. Anna's hands idly swirled the water as she closed her eyes and snuggled further into Elsa's embrace. She could get used to this, being in a relationship again, letting go of her past, and embracing what she has now.
Elsa's shoulder was currently playing the role of pillow for Anna's head and she felt her eyes begin to droop. She'd forgotten how wonderful it felt to be in the arms of someone who loves you in every way it was possible for one human to love another.
The warmth of their embrace, the feeling of the gentle rise and fall of their chest, the soothing presence of their fingers sliding up and down her arm, the smell of their flesh, the soft rumble of their voice when they spoke; god she'd missed it so much.
Anna's eyes slipped shut, her head sliding from Elsa's shoulder before she suddenly jolted upright again, Elsa chuckling beside her. "I think it's past someone's bedtime." The blonde teased.
Normally, Anna would have retorted childishly with a glare or poking her tongue out or some form of mild violence, however, right now she was too tired even for that, so she simply nodded as her mouth nearly split in two with a yawn. "It has been a very long twenty-four hours." She commented wearily. "I think it's finally starting to catch up with me."
Anna felt Elsa press a soft kiss to her temple and hummed in response. "I feel it too. Now that we've stopped and rested I just feel exhausted. It's like there's this massive weight on my chest and a heaviness in my heart." Elsa sighed sadly as her hands slowly rubbed up and down Anna's arms and over her shoulders. "maybe we should call it a night?"
Anna yawned again and nodded before grasping the bath ledge and hauling herself up. She wobbled a bit as she brushed the bubbles from her body and then turned, holding out her hands for Elsa to take.
The blonde's eyes were a little wider, her cheeks pink as her gaze roamed up and down Anna's nude frame. The redhead chuckled lightly, "Eyes up here tiger." She teased and then bit back a laugh when Elsa all but snapped to attention.
Elsa sent her a scathing glare but took her sister's hands and allowed her to help pull her up. "You're a tease." Elsa grumbled as she swung a leg over the side of the tub and hopped out.
Anna reached down and pulled the plug before hopping out herself. "You're just noticing this now? Jeez, and you call me unobservant." Anna snorted and then squeaked in surprise as a towel was thrown in her face. When she pulled it down Elsa was wrapped in her own smirking smugly at her.
"You're a brat." Anna teased lightly as she wrapped the flannel fabric around herself and followed her sister from the room. "Hey Els…" She said after a few moments of silence.
"Hmm?" The blonde hummed in response. "What is it?"
"Well you know how before you said you didn't really know me very well…" She began hesitantly.
"… yes."
"Well, when we get into bed, I have an idea of how we can get to know each other better." Anna said, though it didn't quite come out as innocently as she meant, her brain too sluggish to comprehend the innuendo.
Elsa raised a golden brow at her and shook her head, "Anna, no offence, but I'm really not in the mood for sex right now." She commented wearily.
"Oh, my god. That's not what I-" Anna spluttered and blushed, her cheeks turning a glorious shade of crimson, "I'm not talking about sex, Elsa. We're going to play a game." She said as they entered the bedroom and Anna finished drying herself off.
"A game?" Elsa replied dubiously, "Anna, I think we're a bit too old for games."
"Nope, not this one." She chirped as she picked up her pjs from her bed and began dressing. She pulled on her bottoms first, wriggling her hips as they slid up her thighs before slipping her shirt on and then continuing to pat her hair dry. "We both want to get to know each other better, so, we're going to play twenty-one questions. I'll ask you a question about you, then you'll do the same to me. It'll be like a slumber party and you get to ask me anything you want… what?" She asked curiously when she noticed that her sister was standing there, frozen, just staring at her.
The blonde didn't respond for a moment, her eyes glazed over as she stared at her sister, before she seemed to snap out of her reverie and shook her head as if to clear it." N-nothing." She mumbled quietly, then sighed when Anna raised her brows and gave her a sceptical look. "Fine," she grumbled and scrubbed her face, "it's just… your shirt is open and…" She trailed off a deep blush tinting her cheeks as she peeled her eyes away from her sister's nude chest.
Anna looked down and chuckled, her shirt was sitting open, the buttoned seams rested just over her nipples, "this look doin' it for you, huh?" She teased lightly.
Elsa groaned and nodded, her eyes flicking back to the shirt in question before quickly scampering away again as that blush deepened. "Uh-huh." Was all she managed to respond with and Anna considered herself immensely flattered.
Still, neither of them had the energy to be 'in the mood' and to be honest, Anna was still a little sore from the night before. So, she simply smiled proudly as she buttoned up her shirt, and told Elsa it was safe to look again. She made sure to file away her reaction though… button up blouse, no bra, white underwear, no pants… yep, she was definitely going to put that look to use one day.
Elsa finally seemed to get a hold of herself and walked over to the dresser as Anna curled up under the blankets, waiting for the elder to join her. She heard the sound of the drawer opening and her sister rummaging for a matching pair, but then Elsa stopped for a second.
"Ahh… Anna…" She said slowly, it sounded as though she was trying not to laugh, "May I ask where you got these from?" Elsa turned and to Anna's horror, was holding up the lingerie and double-ended dildo Kristoff had given her.
Anna blanched and then turned bright red as she buried herself beneath the covers, groaning in mortification. "Remember that present Kristoff got me for my birthday… the one he said I couldn't open until I was alone…" The redhead peeked her eyes out from under the blankets and saw Elsa nod, her lips curling into an amused smirk, "well…" Anna groaned again and threw the quilt back over her head, squirming under the pile of sheets.
"This is what he got you…"
"Yes…" Anna squeaked, her voice muffled as she heard Elsa chuckle mischievously.
"I'm not sure if I should kill him or thank him." The blonde mused, "we might have to road test them one day, then I'll make my decision on what to do with him."
"Oh god." Anna wasn't sure if her response was a groan of embarrassment or a moan of pleasure, both seemed to fit her mood quite well. There was now a warm heat flooding her body, twitching between her legs, thankfully, it was mild and not something that demanded attention immediately, Besides, Anna was already so exhausted that she feared she'd fall asleep if they started anything now.
She heard Elsa shut the drawer and listened to the sound of soft cotton gliding over silky skin. It was only when she heard the sound of quiet footfalls that she decided it might be safe enough to peek out.
Elsa smiled at her as she climbed under the sheets, shuffling her body until she was lying next to her girlfriend. Anna draped a leg in between Elsa's and rested her head over her sister's heart, the vital organ beating rhythmically beneath her ear. She sighed peacefully and snuggled further into the comforting embrace, Elsa's hands drawing light patterns over the fabric covering her back.
"Weren't you going to ask me questions?" Elsa asked softly.
Anna felt herself blush a little, "Sorry," she said, "I'm tired and my brain doesn't want to work and you're too damn comfortable."
"Well we can put this off until later if you like." Elsa offered as she began stroking her fingers through Anna's hair.
The redhead lifted herself up onto one elbow so she could hover over her sister. She leant forward and kissed Elsa's head tenderly, smiling as she pulled away. "No, it's okay," Anna assured, "I really want to get to know you better, catch up on all those years we missed growing up."
"Okay, well then ask away." Elsa said softly, her hand stroking through Anna's hair that hung between them.
Anna pondered over what to ask first, her mind still tired and sluggish. "What's your favourite colour?" She figured she'd start off with easy questions, ones that didn't require too much thought. She hoped her brain would soon wake up a little and come up some deeper, more personal ones as they went.
"Blue." Elsa answered with ease, "I'm pretty sure yours is green, yes?" Anna grinned and nodded. "What's your favourite song?"
The redhead gave her sister a pointed look and chuckled as she shook her head. "Well, I have lots of favourites, they change depending on my mood. I guess the ones I love the most are all songs that tell a story, like a lot of music from Ed Sheeran and P!nk. I love the melancholy of Be Alright by Dean Lewis, Perfect is my fave Ed song, closely followed by Happier, but out of all the songs I like, there's one that never fails to make me smile, no matter what"
Anna paused for a moment and bit her lip, "Which is…?" Elsa encouraged curiously, and Anna was surprised she even had to ask.
"Let it Go, of course." Anna giggled as Elsa threw her the most adorably sheepish look, that blush rearing its head again. "I loved it before I knew you wrote it, just ask Papa, he got so sick of me playing it on repeat and I had it as my ringtone for so long. Then I found out that it was your song and I dunno, it suddenly became very special to me. It just feels personal and holds a greater meaning than it did before."
Elsa's eyes glassed over as she smiled and drew Anna in for a kiss. As she pulled away she paused, "wait… you 'had' it as your ringtone? Had as in past tense?" The blonde asked carefully, her face was neutral, but her eyes betrayed her, Anna could see the sadness she was trying to hide.
The redhead hesitated, she didn't want to upset Elsa and the reason why she changed it was no longer relevant, but still, she knew that what she was about to say had the potential to hurt her. However, she needed to be honest and open, that's what relationships are about, right? Besides, that was in the past now. It might have only been a few days, but to Anna, it already felt like a lifetime ago.
"Yes, 'had.'" The redhead looked away from her sister for a moment as she bit her lip. "I changed it when… err, well, when we stopped talking. I just-" Anna stopped herself as she considered the best was to phrase it, she needed to explain and make things better before Elsa's mind started chasing itself. "whenever that song played, it reminded me of you, of us, of what we lost, what I gave up. And… and well, it hurt too much, it made me think of you and each time I'd end up in tears. So I changed it, because I couldn't live with the guilt of what I'd done." Anna ducked her head and pressed a kiss to Elsa's crown, knowing that those sapphire orbs were tearing up. "Now though, you've given me a new ringtone, one that still might make me cry, but for a completely different reason."
Elsa looked at her curiously and cocked her head, "What song's that?" She asked through her gravelly voice.
"Feels like home." Anna smiled and kissed Elsa's lips, the blonde returning the pressure as Anna felt a smile blooming on her sister's face.
"Oh." Elsa's cheeks pinkened, though the hue was soft, and her eyes crinkled around the edges.
Anna chuckled softly and stroked Elsa's face, "yes, 'oh.'" She kissed the tip of her sister's nose and settled back again, "Which do you prefer, cats or dogs?"
"Cats." Elsa answered instantaneously, "What's your favourite animal?"
"Horses." Anna replied with ease.
A bright smile lit Elsa's face, "That suits you, actually." She said and then went on to explain when Anna gave her a curious look. "Well, horses are strong, stubborn, and fiery. They know exactly what they want and will do whatever it takes to get it. They are intelligent and beautiful and somewhat graceful, though they do tend to trip over their own feet… well, hooves."
Anna laughed, "Hmm, that does sound a little like me, I suppose."
"A lot like you." Elsa chuckled and ran her fingers through Anna's hair. "They're loyal and loving and hardworking, all qualities I see in you." Elsa's hand tightened at the nape of her neck as she gently guided Anna's head down so their lips could meet again.
Anna blushed deeply at the praise. It wasn't something she'd really thought about, but Elsa was right, a horse's temperament did suit her personality. "Do you ride?" Anna asked as she pulled away.
"I did; I haven't ridden in years though. Mama paid for lessons when I was a kid, I loved it and was quite a natural apparently. There wasn't a horse in those stables that could throw me off, no matter how hard they bucked or how high they reared, I was stuck like glue." Elsa curled her arm around Anna's back as the redhead settled back down again, her head resting on the blonde's chest. "What about you? Do you ride?"
"I do, I'm probably not as experienced as you and I've had many horses buck me off, but I'm more stubborn than them and always get straight back on." Anna shifted a little to tangle her leg between both of Elsa's as her hand drew light patterns over a pale clavicle. "I once rode this little pony, a Shetland, god she was stubborn, gave me a run for my money. Every single time I asked her to trot she would buck three times and then run off to the left. She was so overweight, she looked like she was in foal… with twins!" Anna laughed brightly at the memory. "Emma was her name, she was crossed with a Welsh and had a beautiful coat, but she had so much personality she couldn't hold it all in."
"The smaller the pony, the more stubborn and grumpy they are." Agreed Elsa, "small horse syndrome, Mama used to say."
"Papa used to say the same thing about me." Anna laughed. "Anyway, she was my favourite to ride because it was like a competition between us to see who was the most stubborn. I won, of course. At first when I started working her she couldn't even do one lap of the race track at a walk, she was puffing and panting by the time we got half way. We started off slow and as she got used to being ridden we picked up the pace. After a month we could canter a whole lap without her tiring and after two, we could gallop multiple laps and she was still chomping at the bit for more. She was my pride and joy. Then when she was at the top of her game, she was leased out to a young girl to be used in the harnessed pony trots, but something happened, and she fell lame. I was so upset… all that hard work and it was all for nothing. She never even made it into one race." Anna sighed sadly, she missed that pony, the challenge she gave her, and the pride Anna felt when the mare's condition finally improved.
"I'm sorry Anna." Elsa said sincerely as she squeezed the redhead in support. "We should go riding together one day, just you and me. We could gallop through the bush, have a romantic picnic under a tree in a clearing, perhaps even find a lake or something we can swim in."
Anna lifted herself up onto her arms and stared down at her girlfriend, her eyes wide with excitement and affection, her lips curled into a brilliant smile. "I would love that." She whispered and lowered herself to kiss Elsa.
She had meant for it to be light, a quick peck, but what Elsa had said made her heart fill with joy and vision fill with dreams for the future, and the next thing she knew, Elsa was straddling her, their tongues dancing and bodies writhing.
Somehow, she managed to slow the kiss down until it was a light brush of lip against lip. "Sorry," Anna chuckled when they finally broke apart, "got a little carried away there."
Elsa laughed as she rolled off her sister to lay next to her instead. "It's fine, if you hadn't noticed I was matching your pace." She smiled and wrapped an arm around Anna's waist as the redhead shifted onto her side as well.
"I want that." Anna said after a beat as she shuffled a little closer, "I want horses, and romance, and picnics with chocolate covered strawberries and finger sandwiches and all that cliché romantic stuff…" she paused and smiled dreamily, "and I want it all with you." She kissed Elsa again, this time keeping the contact light, though she did allow her lips to linger a little.
"I want that too." The blonde said softly and then paused for a moment as she considered something. "Anna…" she began cautiously. "I know you love me and you want to be with me, and you've accepted some of the… sacrifices that will come with our relationship, but what do you see for us in the future?" Elsa's voice was hesitant, perhaps a little nervous. "I just mean, what about marriage and children? Are those things you've wanted growing up? I just… I feel like by us being together, you're having to sacrifice the life you could have had with someone else. We can't get married, we will have to be cautious, and as for children… I don't really know how we could make that work." Elsa sighed and brushed some fire-gilded hair from Anna's face. "I feel like I'm taking a future away from you that you could otherwise have, and I don't want you regretting anything. You're sacrificing a lot just by being with me."
Anna pulled back until she could see Elsa's face in full. She made sure she met her sister's eyes, giving her a stern and stubborn look. "Elsa." She began seriously, "You don't think that I haven't thought about that over the last year? That I haven't considered the things we'd be giving up just to be together? Because this isn't just about me, I'm not the only person in this relationship. All the things that I'm sacrificing are sacrifices for you too. Yes, we are both risking a lot to be together, and no, it's not always going to be easy, but I don't care. I would give up everything I have if it meant I could have you.
"As for marriage, I've never really been fussed about it. Sure, it would be nice if it was possible, I'd get to see you in a gorgeous dress or handsome suit. And sure, it would be great to be able to declare our love for the world to see and to be able to call you my wife, but it's never been a dream of mine. To me, marriage is just a really expensive piece of paper, a whole lot of stress just for one day and then life goes back to normal. I don't need a fancy celebration or legal document to call you mine or show everybody how much I love you, I can do that without it. Besides, we can still have a wedding, we can still have that celebration with friends and family, it just won't be binding. It doesn't make a difference to me. What about you though? Wouldn't you like to get married?" Anna asked softly.
Elsa took a moment to consider the question before sighing as she stilled her fingers that were tracing patterns on Anna's back. "When I was a kid, I never dreamt of getting married. My views were the same as yours, a lot of money just for one day and a piece of paper. I never pictured a wedding dress or me standing at the altar… but then I met you and even on that very first night we were together my views changed.
"As we were laying there and I was holding you in my arms, I had a… vision of sorts. I saw us together, you in a dress, me in a suit, standing under an archway of white roses. That image was so sudden and unexpected that it scared me at the time. But it was one that has stuck with me, one that I couldn't get out of my head even though I knew it was impossible. Marriage was never something I had even considered before we met, but now… I just can't stop seeing that future." Elsa explained pensively, it was clear how important it was to her, and it pained Anna to see her hurting because it wouldn't be a possibility for them.
"Well, we can still have a celebration. We can still promise ourselves to each other, me in a dress, you in a suit, it would just be commitment ceremony rather than a wedding. We could get Kristoff or maybe even Belle to officiate it, and just have a small celebration with just us and the people that mean the most to us." Anna suggested and smiled when Elsa's face lit up.
"I like the sound of that." She said softly before holding Anna a little tighter and kissing her forehead. "Though, I'm not sure about Kristoff officiating it." She sniggered, her stomach quivering below Anna's.
"Why not? He knows us both best, he's good with words… I'll just make sure he showers first." Both sisters chuckled, Kristoff did seem to have an unusual stench that stuck to him like a second skin. "It can be a really small ceremony. Papa could give me away, Belle can be a bridesmaid, Sven the best man. I think it would be really romantic."
"Really? You'd do that for me?" Elsa asked curiously.
"I love you." Was Anna's easy response, "I'd do anything for you Elsa, anything to make you happy." Anna tilted her head up a little and pressed her lips against Elsa's, kissing her softly to punctuate her point. "I mean, not right now, obviously, but in a few years when we've been together for a while, when things have settled down and preferably when we're living together, then I would really like to commit myself to you."
"I can't wait for that day to come." Elsa sighed, "but what about kids?"
"Well, fortunately, with both of us being women, it's not really going to make any difference with the process. I mean, one of us will still have to be inseminated or we'll adopt or whatever, it's not like we can reproduce alone. The only problem I can foresee is that we both wouldn't be able to have our names on the birth certificate." This certainly wasn't the first time these thoughts had crossed Anna's mind and it wasn't something she would take lightly, but a future with Elsa meant sacrifices and they were ones she would willingly make.
"But wouldn't we be lying to our children? What if they ask how we met? What if they find out that we're sisters? Our family and friends might accept us, but that's because they've seen everything we've gone through to get to this point. I doubt if our children one day found out that we're related they would be as supportive." Elsa queried uncertainly.
"I don't like the idea of lying much either, but truthfully, we wouldn't have much to lie about. We have had separate childhoods, different upbringings, lived in different places. And really, how would they find out about us being sisters unless we tell them? Besides, I think that if we're really going to be in this relationship together, if we're going to be a normal couple, then we need to stop thinking of each other as siblings. I'd much rather refer to you as my girlfriend than my sister and that way we're less likely to get caught out. We don't even look that much alike." Anna pointed out as she twirled her finger around a lock of Elsa's hair. "I mean, you're pale and I'm tanned with way too many freckles, you have blonde hair and I'm a redhead, you have blue eyes and mine are bluey-green. Kristoff looks more like your sibling than I do."
Elsa scoffed lightly, "That's true, Kristoff even plays the part, sometimes he feel more my sibling than you do… I mean that in the best way, of course." She chuckled, "you really have thought this through, haven't you?"
"I have." Anna agreed, "I thought a lot about everything to do with you and me when… well, you know. I wanted to weigh up all the pros and cons, dissect it from every angle so that when I finally made my decision about you, I could be confident I made the right one."
"And did you?" Elsa asked nervously.
Anna raised an eyebrow at her and gave her a pointed look before pushing on Elsa's shoulder and rolling her onto her back. The redhead straddled the blonde's waist, her hands clasping Elsa's as she pushed them into the mattress. "What do you think?" She asked and then closed the distance between them.
Anna awoke abnormally early; the sun was just beginning to stream in through the window, bathing the room in a gorgeous fiery glow. She lifted herself off Elsa's chest, the blonde still slumbering peacefully, her eyes dancing behind their lids, dreaming away. She smiled affectionately as she brushed some of Elsa's hair from her face, marvelling in the feeling of the silky strands as they slid through her fingertips. She envied Elsa's hair, the way it always shone and seemed to be so easy to manage. It was as if Elsa had some kind of magic over the moon-pale locks, all she had to do was run a hand through them and each hair was back in place.
Right now, the warm sun was hitting them just right, it reminded Anna of a sunrise kissing freshly fallen snow. It was gorgeous, and seemed to bask Elsa in an ethereal light, the heavens above shining down on the goddess beside her.
Anna pressed a butterfly kiss to Elsa's cheek and brushed her hand through blonde bangs. She felt her heart flutter with warm affection, reminding her just how much she adored the woman beside her. "I love you." She whispered softly against Elsa's temple and then pushed herself up and slid off the bed.
As quietly as she could, Anna grabbed her phone off the bedside table and tiptoed downstairs. As much as she wanted to stay in bed with Elsa, nature called, and she wanted to wake the blonde with breakfast in bed, just to do something nice for her, to lift her spirits if she could.
After relieving herself, Anna went to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle before searching through the pantry for something yummy and easy to make. She pulled out all the ingredients she'd need to make chocolate pancakes and got to work. Flicking through her phone, she found one of her favourite songs and popped it on, singing along to the lyrics and shaking her hips in time to the beat.
"She played the fiddle in an Irish band,
But she fell in love with an English man,
Kissed her on the neck and then I took her by the hand,
Said 'baby I just wanna dance.'
"I met her on Grafton street right outside of the bar
She shared a cigarette with me while her brother played the guitar
She asked me 'what does it mean, the Gaelic ink on your arm?'
I said 'it was one of my friend's songs, do you wanna drink on?'
"She took Jamie as a chaser, Jack for the fun,
She got Arthur on the table with Johnny riding as a shot gun,
Chatted some more, one more drink at the bar
Then put Van on the jukebox, got up to dance.
"You know, she played the fiddle in an Irish band
But she fell in love with an English man,
Kissed her on the neck and then I took her by the hand,
Said 'baby I just wanna dance.'
"With my pretty little Norway girl,
My, my, my, my m-AHHH!"
Anna screamed, her heart thumping painfully against her ribs as she clutched her chest in an attempt to slow it. "Papa! Shit, you scared the crap out of me!"
Agnarr chuckled as he stepped into the kitchen, poor Anna still trying to calm her racing heart. "Sorry." He said, sounding nothing of the sort. "Great singing Anna, but Norway girl? I thought it was Galway, or do I have the wrong lyrics again?"
Anna huffed out a breath as she poured some of the batter into the pan. "It's Galway," she affirmed, "I just sing Norway 'cause of…. reasons." She added vaguely, her cheeks reddening as she turned away from her father.
"Ahh, it wouldn't have anything to do with the Norwegian beauty currently asleep in your bed, would it?" He teased knowing full well that it did and that his daughter was now dying from embarrassment as her face turned as red as her hair.
"Maybe." She grumbled as she flipped the pancake. "What are you doing up this early, anyway?" She asked, happy for a change in subject.
"I just had a call from one of the officers that came here about your mum, they have asked me to come into the station today to discuss a few things." Agnarr told her as he poured himself a coffee.
"On a Sunday?" Anna asked over her shoulder as she began to plate up their breakfast.
Agnarr shrugged indifferently, "It doesn't bother me and it's obviously important, I don't have anywhere else to be today." He stirred some sugar into his coffee before continuing, "I've taken the week off work as well. I'm not sure if you and Elsa plan to do the same, but she's welcome to stay here as long as she likes. I quite like having both my daughters under the same roof."
"I'll let her know." Anna replied with a smile. "How are you feeling today?" She asked as she eyed him over. Agnarr seemed to be looking better today, there were still bags under his eyes, but he didn't look as tired and grey as before.
"I'm okay, kiddo. I'm hurting and struggling to process that she's really gone, but I'm doing better than before. I just can't stop, you know? If I stop, that's when it hits me, and I just can't handle the pain right now. I need to stay strong." Agnarr paused and gave his daughter a tired smile. "I have a meeting with a funeral director tomorrow. Apparently, your mother had already planned and payed for hers, so I just need to go and finalise a date and go over the details."
Anna let her gaze roam her father's expression again. He seemed to be telling the truth about how he felt rather than just saying 'I'm fine' as a kneejerk reaction. "Do you want me to come with you?" She asked, "I mean, to either appointment?"
Agnarr walked over to his daughter and wrapped his arms around her shoulders before kissing the top of her head. "Thank you, but no. I'll be fine today, but maybe both of you could come tomorrow? She's your mother and Elsa lived with her for all those years. You should both have a say in her send off, especially Elsa. She knew Idunn best."
"Okay, if you're sure." Anna said as she piled another pancake onto the plate.
"I'm sure." Agnarr smiled as he stepped back and picked up his mug again. "I'm going for a shower then heading out, I'll probably be gone for a few hours, so I'll see you when I get back."
"Okay." Anna nodded and finished making a coffee for Elsa and hot chocolate for herself. "Papa…" She called to his retreating back.
"Hmm?" He hummed as he paused and turned to face his daughter.
"I love you."
"Love you too, sunflower."
Anna placed both plates and drinks on a serving tray before heading back to her bedroom. She was quite proud when she placed it down on the bedside table without spilling a drop.
"Mm-morning." Came a sleepy voice from beside the redhead.
Anna smiled and perched herself on the side of the bed, one hand stroked through platinum locks whilst she used the other to steady herself as she leant in and kissed her sis- no, girlfriend, softly. That thought alone made her heart flutter as she pressed her lips against Elsa's firmly. Girlfriend. There was something just so right about that word, something that made her stomach flop around and made her want to giggle and squirm and jump up and down.
"Good morning." She responded affectionately with a grin brighter than the sun. "I made breakfast."
Elsa's lips curled as she drew in a deep breath, "Smells great." She said as she sat up, propping her back against the headboard. "Thank you, it looks delicious, but you really didn't have to."
Anna chuckled as she handed Elsa a plate and placed her coffee beside her. "I wanted to do something special for you." The redhead shrugged as she crawled over to sit beside Elsa, placing a pillow on her lap as the blonde handed her a mug.
"Be careful, a girl could get used to this." Elsa teased as she took a bite of her chocolate pancake, moaning softly as the flavours coated her tongue.
Anna laughed and shook her head, "Well since we're both girls, I guess we're going to have to hire someone to cook for us." She quipped which earnt her a roll of caerulean eyes. "How are you feeling today?"
Elsa paused for a moment, taking the time to chew her food and ponder the question before answering. "I'm okay… sad, lost, and confused. It's slowly sinking in now that I won't get to see her again." She sighed sorrowfully as stared at her plate as if it held the answers to all her problems. "I feel guilty mostly. I should have gone back home, forced her to sit down, and talk with me, explain why she kept us apart. The last time I saw her, all I did was yell and tear the house apart. Now I have to live with knowing that my last moments with my mother were some of my worst. I wish I could go back and have one last chance to tell her that even after all she did, I still loved her."
Elsa's voice cracked as a tear slid down her cheek. Anna put her plate on the table beside her and shifted so she could face the blonde. "Elsa," she crooned softly as she tucked golden hair behind a pale ear, "it's not your fault. Neither of us could have predicted that she'd take her own life, or that we'd never see her again. We couldn't know we would never get the chance to apologise for the way we spoke to her." Anna paused for a moment, her head ducking down in shame, "The last time I saw Mama, I did the same thing, the last words I spoke to her were of hate and disdain. I've been beating myself up about it since that day, even more so these past few, but we can't keep beating ourselves up over it. Neither of us know why she did what she did. Papa is the only one that can tell us, but he's not talking either. All we can do is remember the good times."
Elsa nodded slowly as she sniffled and wiped the tears from her face. "I miss her." She whispered, her voice cracking as her chin trembled again.
Anna felt her heart ache in sympathy, she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's neck and pulled her in close. "I know." She murmured sadly. "I do too, and I didn't grow up with her, so I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is for you." Anna kissed Elsa's temple as she rubbed her hand up and down her arm. "But I'm here for you, and so is Papa. We both love and support you."
Elsa nodded again, pressing her fingers to her eyes as if to push the tears back in. "You can cry, Elsa. It's okay to be sad." Anna assured her and tightened her hold.
Elsa's breath hitched as she made a strangled noise in the back of her throat and then clung to Anna as she began to sob, her food and coffee sat forgotten beside her. "Shh, it's okay, just let it all out, I've got you." Anna crooned as she rocked back and forth, cradling Elsa in her arms, her hands rubbing circles over her quivering back.
"She-she's not coming back." Elsa choked, "I'm never going to see her again. She'll never get to see how happy I am now or the future we're going to have." The blonde hiccupped and buried her head into Anna's chest, "If I'd just gone back home, or visited her even, then maybe she'd still be here."
Anna pulled back and cradled Elsa's head in her hands as she gave her a stern look. "Elsa, you can't think like that, this isn't your fault. Papa told me this morning that Mama had already planned and paid for her funeral, clearly this has been something she's been thinking about for some time."
"Then I should have seen the signs and done something to stop it!" Elsa yelled angrily, her arms flailing before she slammed them into the mattress. "What kind of daughter doesn't notice that her mother is planning her own suicide!?"
"What would you have done? Lived at home forever? Followed her around everywhere and watched her every move?" Anna cried, her tone louder than she expected. She took a deep breath to calm herself before sighing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you." She apologised as she kissed the top of Elsa's head. "This is not your fault Elsa. You couldn't have seen it coming, and judging by her letter to you, it's not something you could have stopped even if you did. I think she waited until she knew you were happy before ending it all. She waited until she knew you were safe and supported, she loved you so much that even her final act, she did for you. You can't blame yourself. As much as it might feel like it, this is not your fault, not at all. It's so much harder to be the one left behind after something horrible like this, but you can't let yourself think you're at fault. Sometimes there is just nothing you can do."
Elsa nodded again before wrapping her arms back around Anna's waist. "It just hurts so much." She wept sorrowfully, her fists clenching Anna's shirt tightly.
"I know." Anna whispered as she began rocking Elsa again. "And it will for a while, but we're all here for you and we're gonna get through this, together." She began peppering kisses along Elsa's hairline to soothe her, "I love you and I'll always be here, right by your side."
"Love you too." Elsa croaked, as she pulled herself from Anna's arms and reached for the box of tissues beside her. As her tears and breathing slowed, Anna continued to rub her back, her heart ached in sympathy. Loss was never something that was easy to deal with, it always brought about a whole host of emotions and left the person feeling weak and alone. But Anna was going to do everything she could to make sure her girlfriend never felt alone. She was going to prove to Elsa that she was in this for the long haul, through thick and thin, she vowed to be by Elsa's side.
They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence, though it was peaceful, and for once Anna didn't feel the need to fill it. After they were finished she took the dishes to the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher before heading back to Elsa in the bedroom. The girls showered together, taking it in turns to wash each other's hair and bodies, using the comfort of the hot water to wash away their heartache.
They stood under the hot spray for a while, their arms wrapped around each other as they gently swayed on the spot, exchanging tender touches and heartfelt kisses. Neither girl wanted anything more in this moment, there was no heat, or need to please. There was just a peaceful calm that came from being in each other's arms.
After they'd dried and dressed, Anna checked her phone – there was a message from Kristoff asking her if she'd like to come over to watch a movie or something. Whilst she wasn't really in the mood for socialising, Anna knew they had to go back to Elsa's to grab some clothes for her since she had agreed to stay with Anna for the week and figured they may as well pop in to see the other blonde whilst they were there.
They still needed to tell Kristoff what had happened and put him out of his misery about their new relationship. She was a little worried that he'd gloat and get carried away, but she knew that once they told him about Idunn that he'd be nothing but supportive.
The girls entered Elsa's apartment an hour later; Belle was sitting on the couch with a thick novel in her hands. "Hey, Elsa, where've you- Anna!" The brunette looked up from her book to see the redhead sending her a shy wave.
"Hi." Anna said as she gave Belle a small smile, it was all she could manage right now, her emotions still frayed.
Belle looked the girls over, her eyebrows furrowing as she noted the tired look on their faces and the redness of their eyes. "As much as I'm thrilled to see the two of you together," she began slowly, "you both look upset, what's wrong?"
Elsa took a deep breath as she and Anna sat themselves on the couch opposite Belle. Anna curled up to her girlfriend's side, her arm wrapping around her slim waist as Elsa's snaked around her shoulders. "It's Mama." She said quietly, Anna squeezing her in support.
Together the girls explained what happened, they told Belle everything, from their mother's death to the letter and them getting together. There wasn't a dry eye in the house, and all three women ended up huddled together on the one couch.
"I'm so sorry." Belle said as she stroked Elsa's back, "I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, not to mention the conflicting emotions you must be feeling with the happiness of your new love being marred by the tragedy of your mum's death. It must be so confusing. If there's anything I can do, please just let me know."
Elsa nodded as she used a tissue to dry her eyes. "Thanks." She croaked. "I'm going to stay with Anna until after the funeral; Adam is welcome to stay here while I'm gone."
"Of course." Belle said with a supportive smile, "You need to be with family now, and I'm just glad you have Anna and your father for support, just remember, I'm here for you too." The brunette gave Elsa another hug before standing and walking over to the small kitchen. "I'm making hot chocolate, do either of you want one?"
Both Elsa and Anna shook their heads, "Thanks for the offer, but we're just here to pack a bag for Elsa then we need to go see Kristoff." Anna said as she stood and held out her hands to help Elsa off the couch.
"No worries." Belle smiled and busied herself in the kitchen.
As soon as Elsa was standing, Anna cradled Elsa's face in her hands, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss her lightly. "Are you sure about seeing Kristoff today?" She asked with concern, she didn't want it to become too much for the blonde. "We can tell him another day if you're not up for it."
Elsa gave her girlfriend an appreciative smile as she took Anna's hands and kissed them softly, before lowering them so they could rest between the two girls. "No, it's okay." She said quietly, exhaustion evident on her features. "I just want to get it done so we can get on with life again. I don't want to drag this out any longer than we have to."
Anna squeezed her hands supportively. "Okay." She nodded, "Let's get your stuff and then head over to Kristoff's."
It didn't take the pair long to pack a bag for Elsa. They didn't need much, and with their places so close to each other, it was easy enough to come back if Elsa forgot anything or needed a change of clothing.
Elsa was just about to head out of the bedroom when Anna caught her hand and stopped her. "Come here." The redhead spoke softly. She wrapped an arm around Elsa's waist as the other went to the back of her head as she guided Elsa's face down to meet hers. They spent a while just standing there, holding each other close, as their lips glided over the other's tenderly.
Anna needed the contact, needed to be immersed in Elsa's taste, her touch, her scent, and everything else just to stay grounded. She felt like she was falling apart at the seams and Elsa's kisses and love were the only things that could hold her together. "I love you." She whispered against soft lips. "With all my heart, I love you."
A weak but genuine smile curled Elsa's lips, shimmering in her eyes, "I love you too." She sighed, "always."
Anna knocked on Kristoff's door and just a few seconds later, it swung open.
"Hey Anna, long time no- Elsa!" Kristoff's eyes went wide as he looked between the two women, down to their joined hands and back up again. Anna couldn't help but giggle softly as those brown orbs flicked to and fro before a lightbulb of understanding seemed to switch on in his mind. "You! And you! Oh, please tell me this means what I think it means and you are together for good this time!" He exclaimed hopefully.
Anna nodded and smiled before pulling Elsa inside and kissing her briefly. "Yes, we're together, for good." She affirmed and giggled again when Kristoff's face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning.
He punched air with a 'whoop!' before settling down and plopping himself on the couch. "I can't believe it! This is… I mean… when? How?" Kristoff spluttered with excitement.
The smile on Anna's face dropped as she sat herself next to her girlfriend just like they had at Belle's. "Mama passed away." She sighed sadly and then launched into the details of the last few days.
Kristoff's reaction was very much the same as Belle's, giving his condolences and offering his support. Anna told him they'd let him know when the funeral was and that they'd both like him there as support, just like they'd told Belle.
"I'm sorry." He said glumly. "On one hand I want to jump for joy because you two are finally together, just like it's meant to be, but on the other hand I'm devasted for you. Devasted that Idunn is gone and that the celebration of your love will always be tainted by the loss of your mother. I'm just glad you have each other, your father, Belle, Sven, and I…. even Joan… You're going to need your whole village to help you through this, and you know we are all here for you. We'll do anything we can to help ease the process, and if you need to talk, I'm here for both of you. Any time, day or night just give me a call or pop over and I'll be here to listen or hold you or anything you need."
Anna smiled appreciatively. "Thanks Kristoff." She said. "It means a lot to us to have your support. We'll let you know about the funeral when we have a date. Papa, Elsa, and I are meeting with the director tomorrow, so we'll probably finalise it then."
"No worries. Are you both taking time off work?" The burly blonde asked.
"Yes," Anna nodded, "I sent in an email to Weselton earlier; I just don't have the energy for work this week."
"No one would expect you to." Kristoff sympathised, "I'll go see him first thing tomorrow and make sure he got the memo. I'm pretty sure we get bereavement pay as well so you won't have to worry about that."
"Thanks, I appreciate that. I really don't want to have to deal with him at the moment." The redhead murmured as she stroked her fingers through Elsa's hair, her girlfriend leaning against her on the couch.
"How about I make some drinks and we can sit in front of the tv and watch a movie and eat away our sorrows with chocolate and other comfort foods? We can watch whatever you like." Kristoff suggested as he hopped off the couch before making his way into the kitchen and pulling out an assortment of unhealthy snacks.
"Sounds good to me." Anna agreed, "What about you, Elsa?"
"Sure." The older girl nodded, "Just don't mind me if I fall asleep halfway through, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep my eyes open." Elsa yawned as if on cue, her eyes fluttering as they struggled to stay open.
Anna encouraged Elsa to lay down on the couch with her head resting in the redhead's lap whilst she dragged her fingers through Elsa's hair comfortingly. "Shh, you rest now." Anna cooed motheringly, "You can use my lap as a pillow… just don't drool on me." She teased.
Anna's comment earnt her a childish bite to her inner thigh where Elsa's head rested. "Ouch!" She squeaked, "that hurt."
She felt more than heard Elsa's amused chuckle, "Don't be mean to me then." Elsa retorted playfully.
Anna shook her head and rolled her eyes, earning her another bite for her troubles. "Elsa! I'll revoke your right to use my lap as a pillow if you keep that up." She chided as she poked a finger into Elsa's ribs.
Elsa laughed again, louder this time, before biting her a third time. Anna huffed in mock anger before changing tactics and lowering her head so that her mouth was hovering just over Elsa's ear, her lips close enough to graze the cartilage as she spoke. "Careful, I might like that." She husked low enough so that Kristoff, who was still busy in the kitchen, wouldn't hear.
Elsa froze for a second before biting Anna's thigh once more, sensually and further up this time, as her nose nuzzled the seam of Anna's pants, making her hips jerk involuntarily. The redhead bit back a moan and wondered if it would always be this easy between them. If they'd always be able to switch from comforting each other, to playful teasing, to outright seduction, and if it would always be this random chaotic balance.
Thankfully, the blonde took mercy on her girlfriend and stopped biting her, instead opting to snuggle up in her lap with one hand resting on the redhead's thigh. Anna's fingers went back to stroking Elsa's hair as she rested the other over her waist, her hand slipping beneath the fabric of Elsa's shirt as she stroked the warm skin there.
Kristoff brought over three mugs of steaming coco, a block of dark chocolate, popcorn, Maltesers, and a decent selection of lollies for them to gorge on. They picked a romantic comedy to watch, nothing too angsty, neither girl had the energy for anything emotional, and settled down for the afternoon.
Elsa was asleep within half an hour, Anna's feather-light touch lulled her into a deeply relaxed state and she quickly nodded off.
"How's she coping?" Kristoff asked nodding at the dozing blonde.
"She's okay. Up and down, y'know?" Anna replied quietly as to not rouse the girl in her lap. Kristoff nodded in understanding before Anna continued. "I think it's finally hitting her that our mother is gone, and she won't see her again. This morning she was really upset, we both were. She's blaming herself, keeps saying she should have seen it coming or that if she'd stayed at home she could have stopped it. It broke my heart to see her like that. I didn't really know what to do or say, we ended up yelling at each other for a moment just because our emotions are so high. I just wish I could take all that pain away from her."
"What about you though? Idunn was your mother too, this must be hurting you just as much." Kristoff asked with concern as he popped some chocolate into his mouth.
Anna mulled over her response, she wasn't really sure what she was feeling to be honest. "I… I don't know, truthfully… I'm struggling to work that one out." She sighed, "I have barely seen or heard from her since I was five and when I went and saw her last year she pretended not to know me at all. I'm upset about losing her but I'm still angry with her for abandoning me, then that makes me feel guilty because she did it to protect me for reasons I still don't know, but that just makes me more confused and I'm still having trouble processing that she's dead, because to me, she's been dead for years. To top it all off, I'm floating on a cloud because I finally let Elsa in and being with her makes me feel… ugh, just blissful, but then that makes me feel ashamed because I should be more upset than I am and I just feel so conflicted about everything that I feel like I'm going to burst from inside to outside!" Anna was panting by the time she finished her rant. Her voice had grown louder as she spoke and it all ended up coming out as one big breath.
Elsa began to stir slightly in her lap, "A-Anna?" She mumbled sleepily.
"I'm okay Els, I'm fine. Go back to sleep." Anna said softly as she began stroking her again.
Kristoff looked at her with an expression of pity and understanding. "I get it. It can't be easy, especially when you still don't have any answers, you don't know why she gave you up. You can't exactly be accepting or empathetic to a situation when you don't know what that situation is, but I don't think you should be feeling guilty or ashamed about the way you feel. I'd be feeling the same if I was in your position. If my birth mother suddenly passed away I don't know how I'd feel either. I mean, she gave me up when I was really young, I have very few memories of her and I think I'd be feeling everything you are if I suddenly found out she was gone, especially as I've been raised in a very loving family and my adoptive parents have never treated me any differently to their biological kids. It's hard to mourn a stranger, even if they are related to you by blood."
"I never thought about it like that." Anna admitted with a sense of relief, "It does feel like I'm mourning a stranger. Obviously, I know she's my mother, that she raised me for five years, and I do have some memories of that time, more now that I'm not actively repressing them, but at the same time, I didn't actually know her. I'm sad that I've lost my mum, but I think I'm mostly grieving the loss of the relationship we potentially could have had.
"Obviously it's a lot different for Elsa, she grew up with the woman, she knew Mama, she lived with her for her entire life, so she's grieving the person, not the memory, or what could have been. I, unfortunately, didn't have that option, and it's harder to mourn the loss of someone I barely had." She sighed tiredly. "I'm still upset and it's hard, but I think I'm also grieving for Elsa more than with her." Anna said feeling somewhat lighter and less conflicted by her emotions. "Thanks for helping me make sense this mess in my head."
"Anytime." Kristoff smiled, "Sometimes it takes someone outside the situation to put it in perspective for you." The burly blonde took a swig of his drink before placing it down and considering Anna for a moment. "If I ask you something, do you promise not to get upset with me?" He asked cautiously.
Anna looked at him quizzically, why would she get upset with him? She's with Elsa now, it's not like he can give her another lecture about that. "Of course." She replied with confusion.
"Please don't take this the wrong way because I am really, really happy for you but…" Kristoff paused to let out a pained sigh, "I just want to make sure you're with Elsa for the right reasons, because you want her, because you love her, and because you came to terms with everything. I just don't want this to be a relationship out of pity or necessity, even though I don't think you'd do that-" he added quickly, "-I just know that you're the type of person that would do anything to make someone feel better, to show them that you care and that you're there for them. I just need to make sure that you're one-hundred percent sure about this, that you're not going to regret it further down the track, because that would only hurt you both beyond repair and there'd be no coming back from that. So, I just need to make sure, for both your sake, and Elsa's, that you didn't rush into this decision, and that you are absolutely sure this is what you want."
Anna had promised she wasn't going to get upset, but she couldn't pretend that his words didn't sting, even though she knew they were coming from a good place. She couldn't fault him, really. He was right, she was the type of person that would do anything for the people she cared about, but being in an incestuous relationship with her sister was certainly not one of those things.
So, instead, she took in a deep breath as she looked down at Elsa dozing peacefully in her lap. She smiled brightly as she felt her heart blossom with affection and spent a few moments just gazing adoringly at the woman she loves.
"I love Elsa. I love her more than I can even begin to express. Being with her, it just feels… right and perfect and destined and… it just feels like forever." Anna sighed happily and felt Elsa unconsciously tighten her grip on her thigh for a moment. "I understand where you're coming from, I do, and I appreciate your concern, you're a true and loyal friend, Kristoff and I couldn't ask for anyone better, but I'm with Elsa because it's what I want, because I finally realised that all I've been doing this whole time is hurting myself and the people I care about.
"This isn't a decision I made on a whim or have taken lightly. You of all people should know how much this has played on my mind, I don't think I've ever weighed up anything more. I know that this isn't going to be easy, that it's not always going to be rainbows and butterflies, but I'm done locking my heart away out of fear that it will be broken. Elsa's not Meg, or my mother, or anyone else that's abandoned me in the past, I know that now. Elsa is her own person and I have to trust that she won't intentionally do anything to hurt me." Anna finished with confidence and tears in her eyes.
She looked up from her lap for the first time since she started her speech and saw Kristoff absolutely beaming at her. "Are you crying?" She asked after a beat.
"What?" The blonde squawked indignantly, "That was just really beautiful, okay? And the way you were looking at Elsa…" Kristoff shrugged as he smiled at her warmly, "You're radiant, Anna, positively glowing. Practically oozing with love."
Anna scrunched up her face as if she'd just smelt something bad, "Eww, that sounds like a bad infection, not something beautiful." She teased.
"Well I'm sorry, I can't always be perfect with words." Kristoff huffed. "But seriously, what made you change your mind?"
"It was a culmination of several things really. The stuff that you said, stuff that Joan said, but what really made me realise how much I needed Elsa was Friday when I came home from work and saw the cops at my place. As soon as I walked in and saw Papa crying on the couch my thoughts immediately went to Elsa, I was so scared that I'd lost her, and I was just filled regret."
"Then, Papa said to me that his biggest regret was not being able to tell Mama that he still loved her, that he was too scared to tell her. That's when it hit me, I knew exactly what he meant because that was exactly what I felt when I thought it was Elsa. Just before I left the house to tell Elsa about Mama, he told me to 'be brave' and I knew he wasn't talking about me breaking the news to her. He was warning me not to make the same mistake he did."
"I'm proud of you Anna." Kristoff grinned, "I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to see the girl who was always so willing to give her heart to others, accept love into her own." The burly blonde stood and walked over to where Anna was sitting before perching himself on the arm of the chair and wrapping her up in a great big hug. "Love ya, feisty-pants." He said.
"Love ya too, mountain man." She chuckled in response.
"Elsa, what was your childhood like?" Anna asked later that evening as they curled up in bed together. "I know we've talked about what Mama was like, but what was your childhood like? Who were your friends? Where did you live? Did you have any pets? That kind of thing."
Elsa sighed before propping her pillows against the wall so that she could sit upright. "Honestly, it wasn't a very exciting childhood." She began sadly. "We moved around a lot, never stayed in one place for very long. I've lived in so many cities I don't even remember them all. I never really had a chance to make friends because it seemed like as soon as I did, Mama would announce that we were moving again and that would be that.
"I lived in five houses the first two years after we left, I can't even remember staying in one place for more than a year for most of my childhood." Elsa sighed as she brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. "I don't know why we moved so much, though looking back, I think Mama was paranoid. She was always looking over her shoulder, taking different routes home, the blinds were always closed, and every door had to be locked at all times. It was as if we were running from some invisible force, some bad guy that never showed his face, but always seemed to be just around the corner. The only consistency I had throughout my formative years was moving, maybe that's why we got the post-box, it was easier than giving out our new address every time.
"I lived a very sheltered childhood so high school was a big shock for me. I smoked, dabbled in drugs – only tried them once though, it really wasn't for me. Most of the time I spent with my head buried in a book or creating melodies on my piano. I was only ever allowed to play out the back with supervision. I was never allowed to be alone, it was as if Mama was afraid someone would snatch me up from my own backyard if she so much as turned her back. We never had any pets, it wouldn't have been fair to keep uprooting them all the time."
Elsa sighed and stretched her legs out again, Anna shifted so she could rest her head in Elsa's lap as she laid on her back across the bed and looked up at the blonde. "I would have loved a cat though, or a horse, something that I could bond with, talk to, get affection from." She said with a sad smile as she began to stroke her hands through Anna's bangs absentmindedly.
"The older I got the more I kept away from others. I was too afraid to make friends, having to say goodbye to them over and over stopped me from making them in the first place. It was only when I was about fourteen that we finally settled in Corona. It wasn't our first time there, but for some reason Mama decided to call it home."
"That's when I met Belle. She was the very first person I let get close to me – the only person really. Sure, I made friends with her friends, but I never opened up to them or let them get close, they only got to see a very small part of me. Belle was the only person who got to see who I was beneath the masks and defences I wore and she became my closest friend very quickly. We bonded over our mutual love of reading and education, she was one of the only people at school that seemed to speak my language. Before her, I'd never had a sleepover, a girl's night, never had friends over for dinner, or spent time at their place. I was always alone.
"I was bullied a lot at school, everyone picked on me. At first, it was just because I was the new kid, an easy target, but the longer we stayed, the worse it got. I was the scared little girl, pale and shy, they called me 'The Snow Queen' and said I had a heart of ice that no one could thaw. The worst part was that they were right.
"I was the Snow Queen, that was my defence mechanism. Lock my heart away, encase it in ice; conceal, don't feel, don't let it show. I had to protect myself from the potential of getting hurt. Don't let them in, don't let them see, be the good girl you always have to be." Elsa sang softly, though her tone was full of self-deprecation. "That's where some of the lyrics from Let It Go came from, from my past, the shame I felt because of my sexuality, from locking myself away from everybody.
"I just found it hard to open up to people. As much as I wanted to be loved and wanted, I still kept everyone at arm's length because I was so used to having to say goodbye that I just expected that I'd be gone again one day. Belle was the only one I could trust, the only person who really saw all of me. She wouldn't let me push her away and I can't thank her enough for that. She taught me what it was like to have someone who cared, someone that I could lean on."
Elsa smiled again, happier this time. It was clear to Anna how much the brunette meant to her and how much she helped Elsa through her isolation. "I'm so sorry Elsa." Anna said softly, "I'm glad you had Belle, but I can't imagine what it must have been like to grow up like that. I guess it's a lot like me and Kristoff; after all my friends ditched me, he was the only one that stuck around. I know what it's like not having someone you can trust." Anna empathised, "What about when you left school? Did things improve then?"
"I dated a lot after school, I had missed out on so much growing up that I needed to explore myself, figure out who I was. There were so many rules at home. Mama was strict, and I felt smothered. I lost my virginity to a guy, Connor was his name. Sweet boy, kind, caring, the perfect gentleman, the type of man every girl dreams of marrying, but I never felt much of a connection with him. We weren't even together when we had sex." Elsa scoffed and shook her head. "We were at a party at a mutual friend's place, I don't even know how I ended up there to be honest. We'd been drinking, I was trashed, and we ended up alone in a spare room. About five seconds into the deed his phone rang, and he answered it whilst… you know, and it was his mother." Elsa scoffed again, soft laugher bubbling in her chest. "I pushed him off me and ran into the bathroom and cried. What a memorable first time."
"Oh my god!" Anna snorted as she desperately tried to hold back a laugh. "That would have been…"
"Embarrassing? Humiliating? I mean, I got no pleasure, only the pain. It was horrible, but at least it makes for a funny story now. I guess it just really took me a while to realise I was gay, and even longer to come to terms with it. It was funny, really, how oblivious I was to my own sexuality for so long. I mean, I never felt a connection with any of the guys I dated. Sure, some were nice to look at, but so is a painting and I don't find myself wanting to strip off the layers to see the canvas underneath.
"I mean, I slept with a few men after that, but it wasn't because I liked them, it was because that's what had been drummed into me. All those fairy tales, and romance novels, and films, they all feature a woman falling in love with a man. I never considered that it might not work that way for me.
"Looking back, it was so obvious. Hell, I didn't even want to touch their… things when I was in bed with them! I was just like, you can put it in, but I'm not touching it. I don't even want to look at it! It didn't actually occur to me that I might not be into men at all."
This time Anna couldn't hold back her laugh as she began to giggle over Elsa's choice of words and reluctance to describe the male appendage, it very much reminded Anna of herself. "What made you figure it out?" Anna asked curiously.
"P!nk." Elsa chuckled as she twined her fingers with Anna's and began to draw light circles over the top of her hand with her thumb. "I was watching her first concert on DVD and it was very… erotic to say the least. At one point the backup dancers were on stage in nothing but a G-string and black tape to cover their nipples. It was when she was singing a very sexually charged version of Trouble that I realised I was drooling over her."
"I was so embarrassed and ashamed at first, I wasn't supposed to be attracted to women, girls like boys, that's just how it was." Elsa's hand clenched around Anna's for a moment before relaxing when Anna kissed it softly. "The first time I kissed a girl I cried, then picked a fight with her, and yelled at her to leave, but it happened again and again and each time it just felt right, normal to me. I actually felt something, and I was attracted to her. I got as far as having my hand down her pants before I chickened out. I was so ashamed of myself, I loathed myself for what I'd done, girls don't kiss other girls. I don't really know what made me finally come to terms with my sexuality, but one day I just made peace with it and then only went after women.
"I dated a lot, I didn't sleep with them all and I certainly wouldn't consider myself a slut, but I guess I was trying to make up for all those years of isolation. I was so desperate for affection, it was so new to me and I couldn't get enough. All I wanted was someone to be there for me, someone I could talk to, someone to hold me and love me and tell me I was special. I needed to be needed… Mama never needed me."
Anna felt her heart ache in sympathy, she pressed in closer to her girlfriend, wanting to make up for all those years Elsa went without affection. "I'm sorry." She said again, "I wish I could have been there for you back then, I would have made sure my big sister never felt alone."
Elsa smiled and thanked Anna before lowering herself to kiss her softly. "But we wouldn't have what we have now if we'd been sisters back then, you might not have wanted your big sis following you around." She laughed, poking a finger into Anna's side. "But Fate brought us back together and everything changed. My confidence had grown a little over the years, but seeing you waiting for me at the restaurant on our first date, something inside me just… clicked. It was as if you'd flicked on this switch in my brain and suddenly I was this completely different person. There was something about you that called to the part of me that I had buried deep inside. You thawed my heart without doing a single thing, and in that moment, I just blossomed.
"That night with you was… indescribable, it felt like I'd finally found that missing piece. Gone was that shy little girl who hid behind closed doors. I'd gone from this shell of a person, scared of the world, too afraid to let anyone in, to this confident queen, and I felt like I could conquer the world. I finally felt free and happy and alive. Things I'd never felt before, not with any of my ex's, not a single one of them managed to make me feel half of what you did before you even said 'hello'. I can't even explain it and when I try, I just end up sounding like I'm crazy, I feel crazy."
"I had you at 'hello', huh?" Anna chortled playfully.
"Yes, you did." Elsa laughed, her eyes shining brightly. "I mean, that night I dreamt of marrying you! Marrying you, Anna! You can't marry someone you've just met! I couldn't believe I felt something so strong so suddenly, and I felt like I was losing my mind, but at the same time it just felt right. I just couldn't explain it. After I found out that you were my long-lost sister, I thought maybe that's why I felt whole when I was with you. Like maybe I only felt like I'd found that missing piece because I had literally found it, not because of love, but because I'd found my sister, my family again.
"But deep down I knew that wasn't it, I knew that what I felt went far beyond familial love, far beyond what sisters were supposed to feel for each other, and it terrified me, so I ran, just like I always did. The one thing I learnt best from Mama was how to run from your problems, rather than face them head on. Run from what scares you, run from the unknown. Close the doors, lock the gates, and hide. That's what she taught me and that's what stuck." Elsa sighed sadly and shrugged.
"I think that's a family trait." Anna scoffed lightly, "I'm just as bad as you are when it comes to running away."
Elsa chuckled and brought Anna's hand up to her lips, giving her knuckles a kiss before bringing it back down again. "We should have a race one day, see who's faster." She joked.
Anna laughed from her place in Elsa's lap, "You might be faster than me, but I think I'm more suited to long distance running." She retorted sleepily.
"True," Elsa agreed as she ran a hand through Anna's bangs. "But you know what, I quickly learnt being away from you made me feel like I was lost again, like I was missing a vital part of me that I couldn't replace. I'm glad I came back. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever done, facing my fears and running at them headfirst instead of sprinting in the opposite direction, but it was worth it in the end."
Anna smiled and threaded her hand through the hair at the back of Elsa's head, gently guiding her down as she lifted herself up enough for their lips to brush. "I'm glad." She grinned as she lowered herself once more, her fingertips tracing the outline of Elsa's jaw before sliding down her arm and finally wrapping around her waist. "I'm sorry that I made it so hard for you, that it took me so long to let you in. We could have been together and happy from the get-go if I hadn't been so damn insecure."
Elsa pressed a finger to Anna's lips, silencing her softly. "I'm just as much to blame as you are, Anna. Remember, it was me that ran first, but none of that matters anymore, we're together now and we're happy and we have each other. That's all that matters to me. It's not about how fast we get there, it's not about what's waiting on the other side, it's the climb."
Anna paused at Elsa's words for a moment, rolling them around in her head, "Aren't they lyrics from a Miley Cyrus song?" She asked curiously.
"They might be." Elsa blushed and giggled as she tenderly stroked Anna's cheek, the redhead humming as she leant into the touch. "But if the shoe fits…" she trailed off with a shrug. A peaceful silence fell over the girls for a few moments before Elsa spoke up again. "I heard what you said to Kristoff earlier." She said quietly, her cheeks pinkening a little at her admission.
Anna's eyes went wide as she blushed furiously. "You-you did?" She stammered. "I th-thought you were asleep?"
Elsa bit her lip and shook her head, "You woke me up, remember? I'm a light sleeper, and you're a loud talker." She chuckled and poked Anna's midsection, earning her a playful swat to her arm before they both settled down again. "Those things you said about me, defending your feelings to Kristoff… it was beautiful Anna, it made me want to cry. I wanted to wrap you up in my arms and kiss you all over, but I didn't want you to know that I'd heard, didn't want you to feel embarrassed and then stop. I guess my ego made me keep quiet."
"Oh." Anna didn't really know what else to say, she was just focusing on stopping her ears from burning off. She wouldn't have been surprised there was steam coming off her face, it definitely felt hot enough to fry an egg on.
"I love you Anna." Elsa said softly, her expression filled with such love and tenderness that it actually brought a tear to Anna's eyes.
The redhead pushed herself up and shuffled until she was straddling Elsa's lap. She smiled warmly as she brushed Elsa's hair from her face before cupping her hands on either side of rosy cheeks. "I love you too Elsa." She whispered before leaning in and bringing their lips together.
One week later, Anna stood in front of the mirror, dressed all in black with her hair tied in a simple bun, Elsa, who had dressed in a similar fashion, was sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands together in her lap as she picked at her cuticles nervously.
Anna's heart ached painfully, Elsa had been silent all morning. She barely touched her breakfast and was so detached, it was almost like she wasn't there. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she stood naked under the shower head for a full five minutes until Anna checked on her and turned on the water. The redhead ended up getting in and bathing Elsa herself, her girlfriend unable to do it alone.
It was as though Elsa had been replaced with a robot, her expression was vacant and unseeing, moving out of habit rather than conscious thought. Anna helped dress her, dry her hair, and get her ready, all the while Elsa just sat there, numb and lost.
Anna felt lost herself, she didn't know what to do or say. Her usual talent of always being able to make someone feel better was utterly failing her right now, and she felt helpless. Elsa looked so scared, like a child as she sat there, her arms wrapped around her waist. It was all Anna could do just to hold herself together, she had to keep it together for Elsa, for her father; they both needed her today.
She didn't speak as she strode over to where Elsa was sitting and perched herself behind the blonde. She ran her hands through soft locks, massaging Elsa's scalp as she placed a supportive kiss on her shoulder. She slowly ran a brush through the blonde hair, taking her time with each stroke, it didn't need much work – it never did, but it seemed to be helping Elsa to relax, so she kept going.
When there wasn't a single knot to be found, Anna braided Elsa's hair before twisting it into a bun and securing it to her head. Just as she finished, their father called for them. It was time to go.
Anna hopped off the bed and turned to face Elsa, the blonde's eyes were wide and fearful, her lips parted slightly as her breathing stuttered in her chest… she was terrified. Anna gave her the most reassuring smile she could manage as she stroked her hand over Elsa's cheek before leaning in to kiss the other. "Come on," she said softly as she grasped Elsa's palm with her own, "I'll be right next to you." Anna helped Elsa to her feet and turned, taking a few steps towards the door before she felt her arm being pulled back.
Elsa was just standing there, frozen and terrified, her body shook as she kept one arm wrapped around her waist, her back hunching slightly. "I can't do this." She croaked, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm scared."
It was the first thing she'd said all day and Anna's heart absolutely shattered. She raced back to her sister's side (yes, sister, because that's what Elsa needed right now, not a lover or partner or girlfriend, but her sister, family, someone who was going through the same thing she was.) and wrapped her arms around Elsa, holding her as tight as she could whilst she whispered soothing words into her ear.
"It's okay Elsa, it's okay to be scared. I'm scared too, but we're going to get through this together. I'm right here, I'll be right by your side holding your hand the whole time, I promise I won't let go." She said, her voice cracking as she choked back tears, she couldn't crumble now, that would break Elsa and she needed to be strong for her. "Come on, I'll help you, we'll take this one step at a time."
"We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Idunn, a mother to her daughters Elsa and Anna and loving wife of Agnarr. In planning her funeral, Idunn left one last message for her family and requested that it was read out for you all today." The funeral director said as she placed a hand-written letter onto the podium before her and began to read. She reminded Anna of her mother a bit, the hair colour was the same, their eyes were very similar, and the shape of their faces were quite alike too.
"Don't let fear control your life. Don't let it hold you back and stop you from doing the things that you love. If you have someone important in your life, someone who holds a special place in your heart, tell them. Tell them each and every day because you never know when your number will be up and then it will be too late."
"Love without restrictions, love without hesitation, love without fear. You can overcome so much by just giving a little bit of your heart away, don't let the fear of getting hurt hold you back. Keep those most dear to you close, nurture those relationships, keep them watered and fed, and bask in the blossoms that bloom."
"To my husband Agnarr, I never stopped loving you, not a single day goes by where you don't find your way into my thoughts. I couldn't have asked for a better husband than you, nor for a more doting father. Those years we had together were some of the best times of my life and I wanted nothing more than for it to be like that forever. You were so supportive of me, even when I pushed you away. You looked past my flaws, my weaknesses, and failings… you have a bigger heart than anyone I have ever known. One day we will meet again, until then my love, I'll miss you 'til I see you next."
"To Anna," The redhead clung to Elsa at the mention of her name, her hand gripping her sister's tightly as she buried her head in the blonde's shoulder to stifle the tears she knew were coming. "My precious baby girl. Words will never be enough to express how sorry I am and how much I regret not being there for you over the years. As your mother, I should have been there for you, I should've been by your side helping you grow up rather than peering in from a distance. I am so proud of you my little sunflower, you've grown into a beautiful young lady with a heart of pure gold. I couldn't be more proud to say that you take after your father, the world needs to be filled with people like you: loving, selfless, kind, and caring, all the best qualities. I wish you all the best and every happiness in the world, my heart yearns for you."
Anna sniffled and felt a tap on her shoulder from behind. Turning, Kristoff handed her a tissue and squeezed her shoulder supportively. She gave him a thankful nod and turned back to the front, wiping her tears and streaming nose.
"Elsa and Anna, a little birdy told me that you both have found true love. Please don't make the same mistake I did and run from it. For your own sakes, for your own happiness, if you haven't already, let that person in, tell them how much care for them, and never let them go. I'm proud of you and support you both, you have my blessing."
Anna's breath hitched sharply in her chest, her mind too numb to wonder how Idunn found out about them, all she could process was how wonderful it felt to know she approved. Elsa placed a soft kiss to Anna's forehead and whispered "I love you" low enough that no one else would hear. Anna kissed her cheek in return and squeezed her hand again, her voice failing her in this moment.
"Elsa. This message has been the hardest to write and I barely know where to begin. To say I love you or that I am proud of you would be a gross understatement. There are simply no words to describe how overwhelmingly happy you have made me. Your childhood wasn't easy, and I know it took its toll on you. I wish I could have given you the stability and upbringing every child deserves, I wish I could have been a more present mother in your life instead of watching you from the sidelines.'"
Elsa stiffened beside her sister, her body shaking as she fought to hold back her sobs.
"I need you to know that I love you, so, so much. That I would do anything to be able to hold you in my arms again; I'd keep you there forever and never let you go. You are so strong and intelligent and humble, but you need to learn to let go, break down those walls you built around your heart, and let people in. Fear will be your enemy, lead with your heart, not your head. Don't live by my example, running from your fears will only hurt you more, embrace that which makes you scared, and welcome love with open arms.
"I'm sorry I won't be there to see you grow old, to watch you fall in love, or see you walking down the aisle. I will never get to meet the beautiful grandchildren I know you'll give me, but I have faith that you'll do so much better than I did. You're going to make a wonderful mother Elsa, your children will be so very lucky to have you and Anna in their lives, together you two are going to change this world for the better.
"There is so much more that I want to say, so much that I wish I could tell you, but every story must have its ending, and this is mine. Agnarr, Elsa, and Anna, make the most of every moment you get, love wholly and deeply and keep each other close.
"I'll love you forever and always. Until we meet again."
Agnarr picked up Anna's spare hand, kissing it softly as he cradled it to his chest, his heart beating fiercely under Anna's touch. Anna and Elsa pressed closer to each other, both girls crying freely as they clutched desperately to the other, afraid they'd crumble if they let go.
The rest of the funeral passed in a blur, Anna barely took any of it in. She was just a mess of emotions, lost in her own thoughts and her mother's last words. Both Agnarr and Elsa made beautiful, heartfelt speeches, Anna was by their side the whole time. There wasn't a dry eye in the room when it was time to leave for the burial, Anna was still clinging to Elsa's hand as they climbed into the black town car that would take them to their mother's plot.
Agnarr was looking broken again as he sat opposite the girls; Kristoff and Belle joined them in the car, supporting them during this difficult time. "Did you tell Mama about us?" Anna managed to ask her father at some point during the ride, her voice was hoarse, and her throat was sore and scratchy.
"Yes." Agnarr admitted softly. "I wanted her to be as proud of you two as I was, and she was proud, so, so proud. She said that after all you'd been through, you deserved to be happy and to have love, even if it was with each other. She supported you." He smiled at his two daughters, watching as they shared a tender moment and short kiss. "Seeing you this happy makes me happy, and I couldn't ask for anything more." Agnarr leant forward in his seat and reached over to his daughters taking one of their hands in each of his own. "I love you." He said before kissing their hands, "very much."
"Love you too, Papa." The girls said together as their father settled back in his seat.
The rest of the short drive was made in silence, everyone reflecting and trying to find the strength to get through the rest of the day. Anna was feeling drained and emotionally spent. She rested her head on Elsa's shoulder, she couldn't even begin to imagine how the blonde was feeling. She shifted a little to kiss Elsa's cheek in a show of support before nuzzling into the join of her neck and shoulder.
As Anna stood between her father and Elsa, she took a moment to look around at the people who had come to say goodbye to their mother. There were a lot of faces she didn't recognise, which was understandable since she barely knew the woman, but judging by Elsa's expression, she didn't know everyone either.
"Do you know who all these people are, Elsa?" She whispered out of the corner of her mouth.
The blonde shook her head, "No, some of them I recognise as neighbours and people she worked with, but some I've never seen before." She said.
Anna nodded and turned back to the hearse, her mother's casket was about to be unloaded. She didn't think too much about the extra faces. From what Elsa had told her, Idunn didn't share much with her daughter so she assumed these were people from work or friends Elsa hadn't met.
The funeral and burial had been advertised in the local paper in the obituaries along with Idunn's photo, so Anna figured some had seen it and had known Idunn at some stage, so they came to pay their respects. She found it quite touching that so many people had come to say goodbye, it warmed her heart to know there were so many people that cared.
All heads bowed as Idunn's coffin was carried to her plot, Elsa's hand tightened in Anna's and the redhead returned the pressure as it passed them, the girls unconsciously pressing closer together. After it had been placed over the metal poles the director addressed the mourners, sharing a few words of comfort as everyone said their final goodbyes.
Tears were shed as Elsa, Anna, and Agnarr each placed a rose on top of the coffin. The three rested a hand on top of the wood for a moment before stepping back and bowing their heads once more. The trio held hands as they took a minute to remember the woman they once knew, the wife, the mother, reflecting on the memories they had whether vague or crystal clear, they all knew her in some way.
The small family then joined the rest of the mourners as everyone else had their chance to say goodbye. Anna held tight to Elsa, she needed the closeness, the comfort and reassurance and she knew Elsa needed it too. Agnarr linked his hand with Anna's spare and gripped it warmly before curling his arm around both of his daughters. It was in this moment that Anna realised how lucky she was to be surrounded by friends and family and people that loved her dearly. What amazed her the most was the support she and Elsa had, that not one person had gone against their relationship. She wasn't stupid, she certainly wasn't about to announce it to the world, but having those closest to her in full support made her happier than she could describe.
Finally, it was time to lower the casket into its final resting place, Elsa and Anna stood on one side, Agnarr on the other. They each held a black strap in their grip, it was the first time since they'd left the house that the girls had separated their hands. Men in suits from the funeral home filled in the empty spaces and they lowered the coffin together.
A Thousand Years by Christina Perri played softly as their mother's body was laid to rest, it was Idunn that had chosen that song in dedication to the man she never stopped loving. Once the casket was in the ground they each picked up a handful of dirt and threw it over the coffin.
"Goodbye Mama." Anna heard Elsa whisper, her voice thick with emotion, the tears that had been welling in her eyes broke their banks and spilled down her cheeks. The trio walked off to the side as the other mourners had their chance to place the soil over Idunn's coffin.
Anna looked around once more as Elsa huddled up to her side again, their hands linked together automatically, neither girl wanted to be separated from the other any longer than they had to.
The redhead watched as people paid their respects, but one man in particular caught her eye. He was lurking around the outskirts of the burial site, he had red hair and green eyes, his clothes were old and worn and when she caught his eye, instead of looking away like she expected, he simply smirked and then reached behind him for something in his back pocket.
Anna felt her heartrate speed up and she tightened her grip on Elsa, there was something about the man that made the hair on her arms stand on end and her stomach churn unpleasantly. The man brought his hand back around and it was only then that she'd realised what he had reached for… Anna found herself staring down the barrel of a pistol.
"Gun!" The redhead screamed in terror. Then, everything seemed to be happening in slow motion; Agnarr jumped in front of the girls, his arms spread out protectively, everyone started screaming, people ran in every direction, diving behind headstones and trees as they scrambled away. Anna saw the gun go off and heard the whistle of the bullet as it flew past her.
Suddenly, three people ran at the armed man, drawing weapons of their own as they took their stance and pointed their guns at the redhead. "Arendelle police, drop your weapon!" One man yelled.
It was like a train wreck, Anna didn't want to watch, but at the same time, she couldn't tear her eyes away. Her heart was pounding so ferociously in her chest that she could feel it thumping against her ribs and ringing in her ears. She shook with terror as she clung to Elsa, each breath she took stuttered and caught.
The undercover police moved in, getting closer and closer with each step, ordering him to drop his weapon, to put the gun down. The gunman locked eyes with Anna, smirking once more as he raised the pistol again, pointing it directly at the trio. Out of nowhere a fourth person tackled him from behind, his gun flew out of his hand, and he was slammed into the ground.
In the blink of an eye he was in handcuffs, cursing, and screaming at the officers, his legs kicking out behind him as the others ran forward to aid in his arrest. The man was pulled to his feet, his body flailing as he was marched away.
"Agnarr!" He yelled, "I'll get you for this, Anna and Alesia deserve to know the truth!" The man screamed as he was shoved into the back of an unmarked police car and driven away.
There was dead silence in the graveyard as mourners watched the scene unfold. It was only once the cars were out of sight that people began to murmur. They stood, brushing themselves off, checking on their families, mumbling reassurances that they were okay. As the seconds passed the voices grew louder, a cloud of confusion settled over the shaken group, but nobody could explain what had just happened.
Anna felt her legs turn to jelly, her knees refusing to lock as the world around her began to spin. Her vision started going fuzzy around the edges, her head felt heavy as everything started to darken. She felt like she was on a boat, the ocean rocking it side to side, the hard ground beneath her feet suddenly seemed to disappear as reached out to Elsa and then, everything went black.