The trial/the Lakes

This is kind of two short one-shots put together. It focuses on the aftermath of Ste's conversation with JP before the sentencing, the aftermath of Finn being found guilty, then snippets of their getaway in the Lakes.

"This is your home, John Paul. And he leaves before you do"

John Paul continued to stare at Ste, and both men stood in silence, unsure of what to do next. Eventually Ste cleared his throat and gingerly stepped into the house, closing the door softly.

"Look, John Paul, I am so sorry for what happened-" he began shakily

John Paul shook his head, "Don't" he interrupted, "I know it was a mistake, I know you couldn't help it"

"Yeah, but that doesn't excuse me stealing your money"

"Money's just an object" John Paul argued, "It's the fact that you didn't tell me how much you were struggling. You know, I would have helped you"

Ste looked confused, "But you said that you couldn't deal with my problems on top of the trial"

John Paul looked down, ashamed, "I was just shocked and stressed, I didn't mean it" he told him, "I would never turn my back on you"

Ste smiled gratefully, and John Paul paused before continuing.

"Look, after the verdict I promise that I will help you through this" he told him, "You won't have to deal with this alone, I swear"

Ste nodded, tears shining in his eyes. John Paul held his hands out, which Ste took tentatively. John Paul pulled Ste towards him and into an embrace. They stood like that for a while, another silence developing.

"Thank you" Ste whispered suddenly.

John Paul pulled away slightly, but still had his arms wrapped around him. They didn't need any more words; they smiled at each other before kissing slowly. After a few moments Ste broke the kiss and glanced at his watch.

"As much as I'd love to stay like this forever" he began, pausing to steal another lingering kiss, "we should head back to court"

John Paul became visibly paler at Ste's words and he swallowed uncomfortably before nodding. Ste opened the door, holding it open for him, and then followed him out.

xxx

"Guilty"

John Paul barely had enough energy to stand, so he collapsed onto one of the sofas and let out a deep breath.

"I can't believe it" he muttered. Ste shot him a quizzical look.

"'Can't believe it'?" Ste repeated, "Finn's guilty, he's been found guilty, what's unbelievable about that?"

John Paul shrugged, "It's just that I've been waiting such a long time for this, it feels unreal"

Ste noticed John Paul's eyes glistening.

"I really hope they're tears of joy" Ste noted.

John Paul shook his head, "I feel stupid" he choked out as tears began to roll down his cheeks.

Ste sat down next to him and rubbed his back, "You're not stupid!" he exclaimed, "Why would you say that?"

"Because it happened back in January" John Paul pointed out, "And it's nearly nine months later that he's been locked up. If I'd have just told Sam that Finn did it when I went to report it, this would have been over a long time ago"

"But you told me that you felt ashamed" Ste reminded him, "And you needed time to get your head around it, time to heal"

"Yeah, but if I'd reported it back then, Nancy wouldn't have been attacked. She was right, my silence caused her to go through the same thing that-"

Ste grabbed his hand to silence him, "What Nancy went through doesn't even compare. Finn also used his power against you after the attack, he didn't do anything like that to Nancy, so she doesn't have the first clue about it" he paused, then gently lifted John Paul's chin so that he could look him in the eyes. "Look, it wouldn't have mattered whether you told the truth back in January, now, or in five year's time. The only thing that matters is that Finn's got what he deserves"

John Paul smiled at him gratefully before kissing him tenderly.

xxx

"The Lakes?" John Paul verified. Ste, who was standing in the doorway, nodded eagerly.

"Yep" he confirmed, "It turns out that Danny's mum is a property developer up there and I got into contact with her. Apparently she has some flats going spare, so we can borrow one for a while"

"And that was it? She didn't ask why?"

"Well I explained that we'd been through a difficult time and we just wanted a romantic getaway" Ste explained, "The old dear doesn't seem to have long left, so if I'd have gone into detail about us, it would have taken so long that she probably would have died" he joked. John Paul couldn't help but snigger in response. Ste was right after all: they did have a long and complicated history (not even taking into account anything from before 2014) that even they struggle to get their heads around sometimes.

"So, are you up for it?" Ste asked. John Paul shot him a quizzical look.

"What about work? We both have jobs, we can't just up and leave"

"We both took time off work for the trial, I'm sure they'll understand. I mean, Tony was fine with-"

Before Ste had even finished his sentence, John Paul had raced to the phone to call his boss.

xxx

16th October

Ste couldn't help but notice the wary glances that he had been receiving from John Paul since they woke up. During lunch he realised that John Paul had barely eaten anything and was still watching him.

Ste put his fork down and picked up a napkin, "Have I got something on my face?" he asked, dabbing his mouth with it. John Paul shook his head.

"Then why are you looking at me so weirdly?" Ste questioned, unsure whether he should be amused or concerned.

John Paul shrugged awkwardly, "I just wasn't sure how you were gonna be today"

"What do you mean? I'm great; I'm with my boyfriend in a beautiful part of the country" he insisted, "Ok, it stinks of cow-pat, but it's great to be away from all the doom and gloom of Hollyoaks" he chuckled.

Noticing John Paul's uncomfortable expression, Ste sighed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, then paused momentarily, "Is it about Finn? Look, it's gonna take a while to move on from-"

John Paul shook his head, "No, it's not that" he responded, then shifted uneasily, "Do you know what the date is today?"

Ste checked his mobile which was lying next to his plate, "the sixteenth of October, why?"

"Don't you remember something that happened a year ago today?"

Ste stared at him blankly.

John Paul took a deep breath, "Doug…" he began.

Ste's eyes widened in shock and realisation, "No!" he exclaimed, "Oh God, Doug died a year ago today, how could I forget that?"

John Paul placed his hand over Ste's, "It's ok, you've had a lot going on"

"That's no excuse!" he argued, "If it was the other way round, Doug would have remembered. He probably would have been at my grave first thing this morning putting fresh flowers down" he paused, "What kind of person forgets the anniversary of their own husband's death?"

"Look, the only reason I remembered was because it was Mercy's birthday yesterday and it reminded me of the party and the explosion" he explained hurriedly, "trust me, I wish I hadn't remembered"

"But I should have!" Ste cried tearfully. John Paul hesitated uneasily, then Ste pushed himself away from the table and stood up, wringing his hands anxiously.

"What's wrong?" John Paul asked, noticing Ste's state.

"I - I just, I need some air" he stammered, before rushing out of the flat. John Paul watched after him helplessly before wondering whether 'needing some air' was literal or metaphorical.

xxx

After several minutes of searching, John Paul eventually found Ste hunched up next to some steps leading to the beach. He sighed as Ste looked up at him with red eyes and was shaking furiously.

"I'm sorry" Ste cried.

John Paul noticed the empty sachet and realised what his boyfriend had done. He crouched down beside him and wrapped his arms around him.

"It's ok" John Paul reassured him sadly, rubbing his back, "I know you can't help it"

"Doug would be so ashamed of me" Ste began, but John Paul pulled away and shushed him.

"He wouldn't. Doug worshipped the ground that you walked on", he paused, "though back then I didn't really understand why"

Ste sniggered before wiping his eyes.

"At his funeral I said that I was going to show him that I was worth saving" Ste sniffed before pointing at the empty pouch, "and look how that turned out"

"So surely that's enough for you to turn your life around" John Paul urged, "You know you have a problem and you want to do something about it, so do it. Prove to Doug that you were worth him sacrificing his life for" he took Ste's face in his hands to look him in the eyes, "fight this addiction for the person who never stopped fighting for you"

Sure enough, after four long days of trying to go clean, Ste made it a whole day without drugs or alcohol, and each day after that became slightly easier. John Paul was thrilled with Ste's progress by the time they were ready to return to the village, and knew that after everything that they had been through so far, they could overcome anything that came their way.

Thanks for reading! I hope this wasn't too wishy-washy, since it did cover quite a lot. I was kind of annoyed that we didn't get a Doug mention on the show at some point (I actually thought that would be the reason for Ste's drug taking when Amy returned), so I thought I'd write one here. I'm still watching (and re-watching) the show to find some inspiration, but if anyone has any ideas of one-shots that they would like me to have a go at, let me know. In the meantime, reviews are always appreciated!