Price of the Past
A/N: I'm away at the moment with a very dodgy internet signal so will upload when I can, but I might not have a strong enough signal to reply properly to reviews. Will do so if I can but just to say I appreciate each and every one, just in case I can't get online when I need to.
Chapter 10 – Shared Memories
Dinner was a relaxed affair for all of them.
Maddie seemed more at ease and Gibbs suspected it might be partly to do with Abby being so welcoming and accepting of the younger woman; not something he could imagine all his wives doing so easily... and he startled himself a little mentally by already thinking of Abby like that.
In his head and heart, she was already a wife in all but name, and that both gave him a sense of hope for the future he hadn't had in a long time and scared the crap out of him.
Abby's warm talkative nature also eased any awkward silences, as she promised she would try to, and as the evening wore on, Maddie's confidence seemed to grow.
In response to questions from Abby, Maddie began sharing stories of her childhood and that inevitably included Kelly. Some stories were familiar to Gibbs but others were new. Some he contributed to, sharing snippets that Abby had never heard before but generally he was content to let Maddie and Abby do most of the talking.
As much as Gibbs found it a strain thinking and talking about his girls for almost all the evening, he nevertheless soaked it all up... smiling over antics he'd not heard about before because they happened when he was deployed, and reliving other memories which were still as fresh and raw in his mind as the day they'd happened.
He'd almost given up a long time ago thinking he'd ever see or hear anything new about his girls, so this was like food to a starving man.
Abby watched the two of them carefully, Gibbs in particular, and while she could see the strain, she also saw how attentively he listened and how absorbed he was in what Maddie was saying. She was also beyond grateful how Maddie seemed to be making a lot of the stories happy ones, and trying to relate some memories which were obviously new to Gibbs.
After dinner, they moved to the living room. Gibbs and Maddie following Abby, carrying the coffee while Abby put the bourbon bottle and glasses on the table.
Gibbs settled on the couch while Maddie took the armchair, curling her legs up underneath her and sipping her coffee. "I've been dying to ask you, Abby. I love that tat... the spider."
Abby grinned. "It's cool, isn't it?"
"One of my favourites," Gibbs offered and Abby smiled at him.
"One of...? How many have you got? I can see the smaller ones on your hands and wrists. Can I...?" asked Maddie.
"Sure." Abby knelt down by Maddie's chair, holding her hair to one side and Maddie peered closely at the spider web tattoo on her neck.
"Wow... that's so intricate. It's beautiful."
"That's not the most intricate one," Abby assured her. She turned her back, smiling over her shoulder. "Push up my T-shirt... go on."
Maddie chuckled, shaking her head as she complied and gasped when she saw part of the cross tattoo emerge, which took up most of Abby's lower back. "That is just... awesome. How far does it go? May I?"
"Go ahead," Abby urged her as Maddie pushed the T-shirt higher. "There's another flower further up and two more figures on my shoulder blades... when you get to the end of the cross, which I know is Gibbs' favourite." She looked over at him and he tilted his head in acknowledgement, his eyes warm.
Maddie did as she was bidden and smiled when she saw the other tattoos. "They are so cool. And I thought I was being daring when I thought about having a tat of a boyfriend's name. You leave me standing... or sitting."
"Did you get it done?" asked Abby, sitting up and pulling down the T-shirt.
Maddie laughed. "No, I chickened out in the end... which was a good job really coz we split up soon after and I'd have had a hard time going through life explaining to every boyfriend why I had George tattooed on my butt."
Abby snorted as she moved to the couch next to Gibbs. "I take your point... although you could've said George was a beloved cat."
Maddie pointed a finger at Abby. "I like the way you think."
Gibbs chuckled. "Don't encourage her."
"Actually, it's been a while since I had a new tat. Maybe I should get one on my butt..." Abby waggled her eyebrows at Gibbs. "Any suggestions?"
"A few," he conceded, a smile tugging at his mouth.
Gibbs moved to build up the fire and Maddie watched him for a moment, before asking, "Do you still cook steaks over the fire, Jethro?"
Gibbs glanced at her, a small smile tugging at his mouth. "Uh-huh. Tomorrow, if ya want?"
Maddie nodded. "That'd be great. I didn't like meat too much when I was a kid but I seem to have grown into a carnivore."
"Is cowboy steaks another long standing tradition then in the Gibbs' household?" asked Abby, reaching for her mug on the coffee table.
"My mom's recipe," Gibbs explained.
"I remember you cooking 'em in the winter... although I also remember Shannon saying the next day how it smelled like something had been cremated in here," Maddie smiled as Abby laughed.
"I'm not gonna say a word," Abby smirked into her mug, catching the eyeroll Gibbs sent her way as she stretched out along the couch. "Worth it though, best steaks ever... or is that the best cook?"
Gibbs grinned over his shoulder. "Could be."
"I remember Kelly toasting marshmallows, with your help," Maddie told him softly. "I can see her sitting there now with you on the rug in front of the fire. Kelly wielding the toasting fork while you kept an eye on her. You let me have a go too. It was such fun... although Kelly burned hers and I teased her about it for days... until I did the same."
Gibbs paused for a moment, feeling the wind knocked out of him, his throat tightening as the memory Maddie described rushed into his head in such vivid detail, he was unable to reply.
"Sorry," Maddie murmured, biting her lip as she saw his reaction. She glanced at Abby who shook her head, smiling reassuringly.
Gibbs cleared his throat, eventually finding his voice. "S'kay. I remember too. Kels loved marshmallows. You too."
Maddie nodded, smiling. "Yup... still do."
"Not sure if we've got any... although we might have the mini ones to go in hot chocolate," added Abby.
Gibbs stared into the fire for a moment longer before moving over to the couch, sitting down as Abby raised her legs to make room. He shot her a small smile as he sat down, pulling her feet down into his lap and rubbing her leg when he read the question in her eyes, trying to reassure her that he was okay, conscious of Maddie's gaze still on him.
Gibbs leaned forward and picked up the bottle and poured Abby a shot of bourbon. He looked over at Maddie. "Mads?"
Maddie nodded. "Please..."
"Mads?" Abby teased as she watched him pour. "Is there no name you can't shorten?" She dug him in the thigh with her foot and he batted at her leg.
Maddie laughed. "Oh, he did better than that. Used to call me Mad sometimes."
Gibbs grinned as he looked up at her. "Well, it fitted... still does."
"Hey... I resemble that remark," protested Maddie with a grin, as she leaned forward and took the glass from him. She glanced across at the TV in the corner. "That can't be the same TV you had though... can it?"
Gibbs shook his head, chuckling. "Nah."
Abby piped up. "It might even be older than that. Take a look on the back... it'll be engraved somewhere with, property of Noah, forward cabin, The Ark." She squealed as Gibbs grabbed her foot and tickled her and she squirmed. "No! Stop it, no, don't... stop... you'll spill my drink. Giibbbss."
Gibbs grabbed her feet, stilling her legs. "You two leave my TV alone."
Abby pulled her feet from his grasp and wriggled round until she was on her side, head pillowed on Gibbs' lap and facing Maddie. "Ignore him. It'll be better when my TV arrives."
"Not sure it'll fit," muttered Gibbs, smothering a grin, resting a hand on her shoulder.
"Presumably you've got cable and this one... erm, doesn't," asked Maddie, mouthing 'sorry' at Gibbs.
Abby nodded. "Oh yeah... mine's got cable... though I'll have to get it transferred."
"But not the sports channels," Gibbs put in as he took a sip from his glass.
Abby rolled onto her back, staring up at him. "Typical man. No... not yet. But play your cards right and I might add them to the Abby package deal."
Gibbs tilted his head. "Fair enough."
Abby pouted, her eyes twinkling. "I think you only want me for my TV."
Gibbs smirked, tweaking her nose as she chuckled. "Busted."
"When are you moving in, Abby?" asked Maddie.
"Gonna move all my stuff in next week." Abby exchanged a smile with Gibbs and his hand came to rest on top of hers on her chest, entwining their fingers.
"That's great," exclaimed Maddie before pausing. "Hang on, were you two gonna sort that out this weekend... surely, you were gonna do some packing?"
Abby turned her head and held up her finger, stopping Maddie in mid flow. "Ah... don't wanna hear it if you're about to go into the, I'm ruining your weekend routine again... No, you are not, you hear me. We can pack me up next week... and don't call me Shirley."
Maddie giggled and Gibbs groaned, placing a hand over Abby's mouth as she laughed. He looked over at Maddie. "See what I have to put up with?"
"Sure do... Can I help?" offered Maddie tentatively. "That is... if you need any help?"
Abby gave her a wide smile. "Love some help... we could use all the muscle we can get."
Gibbs nodded, gazing down at Abby's profile thoughtfully, an idea forming in his head. Maddie's voice brought him out of his thoughts.
"I brought one of my photo albums with me. Do you want to see it now... or tomorrow?" Maddie offered.
Gibbs nodded. "I'd like to see it." He looked down at Abby. "Abby?"
Abby looked momentarily startled at being asked before smiling and nodding eagerly. "I'd like to, thank you."
"Great." Maddie scrambled off the chair and hurried upstairs. Abby gazed up at Gibbs, reaching up to brush her fingers along his jawline. "Thank you," she murmured and he turned his head to press a kiss to her fingertips.
When Maddie came downstairs, they made a space for her and Maddie sat down in the middle of Abby and Gibbs on the couch.
Maddie flicked through the album, explaining the stories behind the photographs and Gibbs contributed some memories. Abby soaked everything up eagerly. She loved photographs from anyone's life; they brought everything so much more to life. This was doubly special and she took in all the details she could of Shannon and Kelly.
She'd seen some photographs before, partly through online research she'd done on her own when she found out about Gibbs' first wife and child two years ago, and one day she'd accidentally seen the one he carried in his wallet.
So she cherished being able to see more shots of Shannon's warm beauty and Kelly's smiling face, and a much younger relaxed Gibbs. It was obvious what a happy family they were and her throat tightened at the unfairness of that life being taken away.
Abby glanced across Maddie to Gibbs, trying to gauge if he was still okay and he felt her gaze and looked up, nodding briefly.
"Oh, I'd forgotten this one," Maddie exclaimed as she turned a page. "Shannon took us to the beach one day. She made it seem like we were playing hookey from school even though we'd got a day off for a holiday anyway."
Gibbs ran his fingers over the photo. "Shan's favourite beach." It was also the beach where he'd burned her boat and nearly killed himself.
Maddie turned the page and there was one shot of Maddie and Kelly in amongst others of Maddie's family.
"What's that on Kelly's face." Abby peered closer. "Looks like a black eye... and you've got one too."
"Oh..." Maddie looked sheepish. "I'd forgotten about that one too. We, erm, got into a bit of a fight."
Gibbs frowned. "A fight."
Maddie flicked a glance his way, feeling the sudden tension radiating from him. "Yeah, erm... I had an argument with one of the other girls and it got a bit outta hand. Kelly, um, weighed in on my side."
"Were you hurt?"
Maddie shook her head. "No, Jethro... neither of us had anything other than a few scrapes and bruises. Kelly was quite proud of her black eye."
Gibbs smiled gently. "Yeah... she would be."
"Sounds like you were quite a tomboy, Maddie," Abby nudged her and Maddie blushed.
"I was a bit... but this time it was for a good reason. One of the kids in our class was bullying someone younger, but I was bigger than them so I, erm, decided to do something about it. I didn't like bullies then, any more than I do now. We both got into trouble though, me and Kelly... with the teachers," confessed Maddie.
"Why didn't I know any of that?" Gibbs pondered quietly, almost to himself.
Maddie bit her lip. "Er, well, that was while you were away... and not long before they..." she trailed off. "Sorry..."
Gibbs stared down at the photograph, not able to speak for a moment. Maddie felt Abby's hand on her arm, squeezing gently and she shot her a grateful smile.
When Gibbs didn't move after a few moments, Maddie asked tentatively. "Do you want to look at the rest tomorrow? I'm feeling a bit tired and I thought I might have an early night... catch up on some sleep."
Maddie didn't want it to be too much for Gibbs. They'd all shared a lot of memories tonight and it was leaving her with a feeling of melancholy to see her childhood friend and Shannon, so heaven knows what it must be doing to Gibbs. She was worried about throwing everything at him at once.
"Good idea. I'm feeling a bit tired myself," Abby put in.
Gibbs shook himself and forced a brief smile. "Yeah... that'd be good, Mads. Thanks."
"Okay... well, I'll leave you to it then." Maddie left the album on the table and stood up and made to pick up the mugs.
"I can do that." Gibbs told her and he gathered up the mugs and headed for the kitchen.
Abby stood to hug Maddie. "Sleep well."
Maddie hugged her back warmly. "Is he okay?" she murmured, with a nervous glance over her shoulder.
Abby nodded, whispering back. "He will be... don't worry." Maddie gazed at her for a moment and Abby smiled reassuringly.
"Okay... I'll say goodnight then." Maddie released Abby and turned towards the stairs, waiting for Gibbs to return from the kitchen.
He paused by her at the bottom of the stairs, taking her hand. "Night."
"G'night. Thank you for today... for everything this week really." Maddie started to turn away before stopping, "Jethro... I never told you this, but Kelly always used to say how her dad made her feel safe."
Abby winced inwardly as she saw Gibbs freeze at Maddie's words, and the younger woman hesitated before going on. "And I think I know what she meant now... especially now. So when I came to you at the Navy Yard... and then later when I saw you at the warehouse, I suddenly felt that it would be okay. I didn't know how it would be but I knew somehow that things would be alright... just coz you were there. So, thank you. You have a gift and you made me feel safe too," Maddie ended softly before reaching up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek and hug him.
Abby blinked back tears as she watched a whole range of emotions wash across Gibbs' face as he hugged Maddie back, meeting Abby's eyes across the room.
It was exactly how she felt.
No matter how bad the situation, the moment she saw Gibbs, it was as if a weight was lifted off her mind and shoulders and she loved that Maddie had expressed that to him, because Abby was sure that, half the time, Gibbs didn't realise it.
TBC...