A/N: Still not mine.

Here is the second half of Year 1 at Dartmouth. Enjoy!

Chapter 9B: Year 1 at Dartmouth, Part 2

January

(CPOV)

The last two weeks dragged by slowly. Bella used the tickets I bought her last Christmas to visit her mother in Florida, leaving right after New Year's and was not returning until tomorrow night. It's strange, how this girl, no, woman, has infiltrated my life so much in such a short time. I hadn't realized until she left just how much I love our nightly conversations. It's the one time of my day where I can just be myself, no matter what that means at the moment. I feel like these conversations have given me a window into her soul, and it's a beautiful one. On my darkest days, the ones where I feel overwhelmed by grief, she is there for me, holding me to her and comforting me as if I was a small child.

It had been a horrible day - a six car accident brought ten traumas to Dartmouth-Hitchcock while I was on duty. One of those that I treated was a young girl, about sixteen, with caramel-colored hair. Her left femur was shattered, and I had to send her to surgery as soon as she stabilized. All I could think of while I cared for her was the first day I saw Esme, back in Columbus. I was nearly frozen in place as I looked at this young girl, barely able to examine her injuries as I drowned in memories.

As soon as I returned home, I went to Bella's room and collapsed on the floor next to the window seat. She was seated at her desk, perhaps checking her email, when I entered, but ran to me immediately. She wrapped her arms around me and rocked back and forth as my body shook with the tears I could not cry.

"What is it, Carlisle? Tell me what happened. I'm here, you're safe with me," she whispered.

I tried to speak, but couldn't yet form the words. She didn't press. She simply held me, letting me find comfort in her warmth.

Finally, I found my voice. "I had a patient today, a young girl. She looked so like Esme, even with a similar injury. It brought back so many memories that I could hardly work."

"Oh, Carlisle, I'm sorry. That must have been so difficult. It'll be okay now, I'm here with you."

She didn't say more. She didn't need to. Slowly, she rubbed circles on my back with one hand, soothing me. I'm not sure how much time passed, maybe hours. All I knew was that I couldn't make it on my own tonight. But I didn't have to, because Bella was here for me. Tonight, she'd be my strength.

Bella and I shared happy days too. So many evenings we had passed laughing about old memories - she was so curious about what the family had experienced before she knew us. Several nights she'd ask me to bring out old pictures so that she could see us, unchanged though we were, through changing times and fashions. On these nights, I would find myself wondering not about the past, but about what the future might hold. I'd imagine us sitting together on a window seat one day, her beautiful mahogany hair swept over one shoulder and golden eyes sparkling up at me, looking back at pictures from our time here at Dartmouth and laughing together. Odd, how much the idea of her and I together in the future made me smile...

(BPOV)

It had been awhile since I'd seen my mom and Phil, so I flew to Jacksonville after New Year's for a two week visit. It was nice to see them again, for sure. I loved seeing how happy Phil made my mother, although when I saw him giving her sweet little kisses or holding her hand, it honestly made me feel slightly jealous. I missed sharing those things with someone who loved me.

My mom, being perceptive as always, sat me down one afternoon during the second week of my visit.

"Bella, sweetie, how are you holding up?"

"I'm fine mom."

"Fine isn't a very good word, Bella. I don't want you to just be fine. I know you are doing well in school, and honestly, I was extremely relieved to see how physically well you look. I feared at first that Edward's death would slowly kill you like his first absence did..."

"I won't say it's been easy, Mom, but I'm not alone this time. I have Carlisle and my siblings to take care of me-they're there for me when I need a shoulder."

"I'm glad you have that. They seem like wonderful people."

"They are, Mom. They're the best."

I must have tipped her off to my feelings somehow, I've always worn my heart on my sleeve.

"You miss them, don't you?"

"Of course. It's the first time I've been away from them at all in a year and a half."

"Bella, is there anyone special in your life?"

I didn't know how to answer this. I suppose the answer was technically no, as I had no relationship. But I couldn't deny how special Carlisle was to me now. As much as I tried to fight it, my feelings for him were growing. This time away had done nothing but show me how much I wanted to be around him. I loved being his friend, what we shared together was fabulous. But I knew I'd jump at the chance of more with him. I also knew that was not a possibility.

I sighed. "No, Mom, no one at all."

February

(CPOV)

I had offered to work the night shift at the hospital tonight, what with it being Valentine's Day and me having no plans. I considered it a good deed. I was now deeply regretting my charitable nature.

When I arrived at work, I found four valentines on the desk in my office-all from nurses who I usually work with. Since I started my shift, I had been propositioned openly by another nurse as well as a patient. The receptionist in the lobby had also flirted shamelessly each time she saw me. I tried flashing her a smile that showed all of my teeth-that would cause a normal human to instinctually shy away. Apparantly, this woman was far from normal.

Rarely do I not enjoy my work. Tonight, I was watching the clock. What was it about this holiday that made the women so brazen? After all, I still wore my wedding band! I had done nothing to encourage such behavior. Quite the opposite, really. I was polite, but not overly friendly with any of my coworkers. I didn't even see any of these women. To me, they were nurses, patients, receptionists. Not women. I don't see women, I never really have. Except Esme. And now Bella. Why could they not leave me alone?

I arrived home after my shift in a rather foul mood. I found Bella curled up, fast asleep on the sofa, and decided to move her up to her bed where she could be more comfortable. I heard no noise in the house, so I assumed the couples had gone out for the night.

I was able to lift Bella without waking her, and carried her up the stairs. I set her down in her bed and began to pull away, but her tiny hands grasped my shirt and refused to release me. I sat down next to her on the mattress to wait for her to let go, but rather than letting go, she snuggled in closer to me. I wasn't quite sure what to do now. Surely she was just absorbing the comfort she found in my cool skin, and would go back to sleep in a few minutes.

Fifteen minutes and twelve seconds later, I was still in her death grip, when things suddenly changed. Bella, who I have always known to talk in her sleep, began to moan. At first, I was worried that she was somehow uncomfortable. But then I heard the sound again, and realized exactly what was happening. She was having a rather intimate dream, it seemed. She must be holding me so tightly because her unconscious mind believes me to be Edward.

She took a deep breath, then, and pulled even closer to me. "Mmmmm....Carlisle, you smell so good." She whispered.

I was stunned. She was dreaming about me? In that way?

"Please, Carlisle, I want to be closer to you."

Oh God, what was I to do? What if she woke up? I didn't want to embarrass her, but at the same time, I was too curious to leave. All this time, I thought she looked at me in a fatherly manner, but this dream sounded far from a father/daughter chat!

No, what was I thinking? This is a dream, Carlisle! The girl is dreaming! I have heard her sleep talk about a yellow panda in the past. This means nothing. I must be a gentleman and leave the room before she wakes.

Knowing I could not relieve her grip on my shirt without waking her, I slipped my head and arms out of it and left the room with a bare torso, chastizing myself for letting my own impure thoughts run away with my rational mind, and went to my room to think.

Why was I feeling desire for her? Bella and I have become close in the last year and a half, there's no question of that. I look forward to our nightly talks throughout my entire day. I love her curiosity, her insight, her humor. Certainly she's one of the kindest people I've met in my entire existence. I find solace in her... When we are together, I feel comfort and happiness. Truly, she's my best friend now. But that is not the same as a lover. I should not think of her in that way, dream or no dream. It's improper of me. I should think of no woman in that way except for Esme. Especially not one who I am meant to protect.

I buried my face in my pillow, trying to suffocate the thoughts in my head. "Forgive me, Bella, Esme, Edward," I whispered.

April

(APOV)

Carlisle was home tonight, so I gathered Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie to go hunting for the night while he stayed home to guard Bella. I had been having many visions lately about the two of them, and I wanted to get everyone's take on matters.

We ran out into the forest and seperated to find our meals, agreeing to meet up within the hour at a favorite spot of ours near the river. I found a small herd of deer and took down two of them before I had my fill, and then headed back to the meeting place.

Once we were all there, Rosalie asked me what my ulterior motives for tonight were. It wasn't often that we went hunting together like this when it was only in the backyard.

"Well, I've been having some visions lately, and it's something I wanted to talk to you guys about, because ultimately, it involves all of us. The visions that I'm having, they involve Carlisle. And Bella. Together. It's usually off in the future a bit, but sometimes I get flashes that disappear quickly that are in the immediate future. I think one, if not both, of them are struggling with the feelings already, and that's what is causing the flash visions. But the visions in the further off future are almost definate. I don't see any change in them."

"You're right, darlin. They are already struggling-both of them. I have felt it more than once from each. The first time was on Halloween, and while it's not a constant feeling, it shows itself from time to time, and almost always accompanied by guilt, self loathing, insecurity, doubt, and grief. I think they're both starting to feel something for each other, but they think it's wrong, for a multitude of reasons, so they push it away."

"So you're saying that our sister...and our dad...are falling for each other?" Emmett asked.

"Basically, yeah, but that makes it sound really sick. Remember, Bella's still aging-she's going to continue to do so until she graduates. By then, she and Carlisle will be the same age. He won't really be able to play the father role for her." I explained.

"And really, I haven't felt much fatherly affection from Carlisle towards Bella. With Esme, it was pure motherly love, always. But Carlisle never quite regarded her in that way. Mind you, he never felt anything innappropriate. He did love her, and considered her family. He felt familial love for her, but it was never as fatherly as the way he feels for us. But since we lost Esme and Edward, I've felt his feelings toward her-he thinks of her as a friend. A best friend, perhaps. He has loved her in that way since the battle. And she feels for him in the same way. And I've noticed, especially in the last few months, that the connection they feel for each other seems stronger somehow. When they are not together, they both feel incomplete, but together, they both feel secure. They really rely quite heavily on each other."

"So you see them in the future, Alice?" Rosalie asked. "Are they happy?"

"So happy, Rose. The love shines in their eyes. Carlisle's eyes will sparkle again, in the way they haven't since Esme died."

"Then I'm all for it," she replied without hesitation. "I hate seeing him so sad. We are all happy, and they should have the chance to feel this way too."

Emmett agreed as well, and Jasper smiled at me knowingly.

"We can't say anything to them about this, though. Not yet. Only if they come to us, and then we can only give our own opinions. We can't tell them about the visions-I'm afraid that we will somehow change the future if we tell it to them, and I don't want to deny them this happiness."

We all agreed, and then walked back to the house, feeling hope for the future of our family once again.

A/N: Ok, that's the end of Year 1 at Dartmouth. Hope you enjoyed. If you want to know about the cars mentioned, follow the links for pics.

Carlisle's cars:

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