"Okay, I'm just saying guys, this mission it's my turn to almost die."
"Skye."
"Not that having a tree fall on me is the same as almost being killed by border police."
"Please stop."
"Or jumping out of a plane."
"Skye, please." Jemma said, "It's hard enough doing this without you bringing up me falling to certain death."
"Oh, sorry." She muttered. "I- I could do it for you, if you want."
Jemma slowly moved up the fallen tree. "No, it's fine, just- I'd like if you could be quiet, please."
"Okay." Skye said, smiling up at her as she visited from the ground. "You're doing great."
Jemma rolled her eyes. "Don't patronise me."
Skye grinned. "Whoo, go Jemma!" She cheered, getting a dour glare.
Jemma climbed carefully further up the tree, secretly grateful that Skye followed. She knew she was strapped in, but it was nice to know that she was there. She leaned down, scanning the area where the object had been embedded. "Oh dear." She groaned. "Definitely not from Earth. Fitz, are you getting this?"
"Yep," He said pulling up the specs on the holotable. "It's okay, doesn't look like it's chitauri."
"Oh good." Jemma sighed. She appeared beside him. "Wait, those readings look familiar..."
"Thor's hammer." Fitz said, staring at the readings. "Whatever that thing is, it's Asgardian." Both went back to the tree. "Looks like there's an imprint. Do you mind scanning it so we can print a 3D model?"
"No problem Fitz." She said, pulling the scanner from her pocket. "Just say when."
"Got it." He said, pulling up the hologram. "It looks like a staff, maybe?"
"Guys?" Skye spoke up. "We've got something you might want to see." She and May looked at the news footage, feeling the others appear behind them.
"This isn't good."
"No." May said, "But we know they're not gods."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Skye looked at the model. "How are we supposed to find the other pieces before them?" She asked incredulously, "They found it when it was inside a tree in the middle of a forest."
Coulson looked at her. "What are you getting at?"
Skye knew that the others would give her crap for it, but she said it anyway. "What if it called to them, like, with magic?"
May gave her a look. "Called to them." She repeated as Jemma and Fitz scoffed.
Skye rolled her eyes, "Look, magic's just what you call science you can't understand, right?!" She snapped at Fitzsimmons. "Might as well look at it to figure this crap out."
Both recoiled at her outburst, but Skye refused to feel bad about it. It wasn't her fault she didn't have a fancy degree like them. She put up a wall, not caring that she had basically done the sensate equivalent of locking herself in her room.
"That's exactly what we're going to do, actually." Coulson said, and Skye looked up.
"Wait, really?"
He shot her a smile. "Sure, that's what I did when we found the hammer in New Mexico. Consulted an expert on Norse mythology."
"Oh. Cool."
Coulson turned to May. "Can you set a course for Seville?"
She shrugged. "Well I don't have anything else to do today."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Skye had turned down the offer to go to the boring university, instead opting to stay on the Bus. May immediately took the opportunity to get her to train more, though Skye couldn't fault her for it. She needed to be good at something. She set into the bag with restrained gusto, trying not to let on how useless she felt.
"Keep your arms up."
Skye grimaced, realising that she had been dropping them. "Sorry." She muttered.
May raised an eyebrow. "Something on your mind?"
"No."
"Okay." May didn't believe her for a second. Not that it mattered. Skye wouldn't take to her, nor should she. Melinda knew that she was no good as a shoulder to cry on, a sympathetic listener.
Skye stilled after the next hit, tilting her head as if she were listening to something.
May knew that she was keeping the connection open with Fitzsimmons. "Got anything?"
She shook her head. "No, they just arrived." Skye pulled a face. "Gross. I'm pretty sure this guy's dating a student. Is that allowed?"
May shrugged. "As long as no one finds out. Anything relevant?"
Skye frowned. "Apparently the thing's called the Berserker Staff? It makes people super strong and really angry. And it was cut into three pieces. Those two will be after the others."
May nodded. "Towel off, we should start looking." She picked up her tablet, looking for viking routes. Hopefully the others would get more information.
"Yes sir." Skye muttered, shuffling to the shower.
Melinda rolled her eyes and walked up the stairs to the conference room. Something was definitely bothering her. More than usual, but it wasn't her job to fix that.
She pulled up maps of the routes on the wall panel, and was scanning Baffin Island when Skye arrived, towel drying her hair. "Got anything?"
May shook her head. "Not yet." She said, "It doesn't look like the agents on the ground have found anything on Baffin Island."
Skye leaned forwards over the table to look more closely at the screen. "Vikings doesn't mean Asgardians though, maybe we should check out other areas."
May nodded to the controls. "All yours."
Skye couldn't help the brief twinge of apprehension at having the mission placed in her hands, but she took it anyway. It wasn't like she had a choice. She typed for a moment, then frowned. "Guys? Apparently there were some routes... here."
Fitzsimmons and Coulson stopped walking for a moment, "What, in Seville? Vikings raided Seville?"
Skye swallowed, "A couple of times, yeah. I- we found one place that's got Viking relics. It's like a church build on a crypt built on... whatever."
"Okay, good job Skye." Coulson said, heading to the car.
Skye bit her lip. "There is bad news too."
"Of course there is."
"The message boards online are talking about going underground. Which could mean they think it's here too."
"Great." Coulson muttered. "I- we need you two out here." He suddenly sounded uncomfortable, and when Skye glanced at May she saw a smirk growing on her face.
May fought not to sound smug. "How should we get there Coulson?" She asked innocently. "You have the jeep."
He groaned. "You know how." Coulson said grumpily. "Just do it."
Skye caught on, grinning. "Sorry, how?" She asked, "Should we run? Cos that might take a while."
"Just- take..." He mumbled.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that."
"Take Lola, okay?!"
Skye had to fight desperately to keep from laughing, and she could see that May was doing the same. "Oh," She said, "If you insist."
"You're a terrible person Melinda."
"You asked for it."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Skye kept her gun in it's holster, but ready to take it as she crept through the dark, spider web filled corridors. It was gross and creepy, but this was her job now. This was what she did.
"How are you two going?" Coulson asked.
Skye scowled. "Glad that I got the slightly less creepy option."
"Well, May's never been one to turn down a challenge."
Jemma spoke up, looking on from a scanner, "Skye, there are some unusual readings up ahead, turn left at the next fork."
"Aye aye." She muttered.
Skye jogged around the corner, "I've got them." She said, grabbing the man by the shoulder.
Coulson stared from behind her. "Professor Randolph?"
Skye kept a hold on his arm. "Professor." She greeted, hoping she sounded cool, "I'm gonna have to ask you to give me that stick-" She broke off with a choked breath when her hand brushed the staff piece.
She felt sick, she felt dizzy, the ground was gone from under her, she was falling.
Strong arms caught her before she hit the ground. "Skye, what happened?! Come on, talk to me!"
She rocketed away, swinging wildly at whoever it was.
May ducked the punches easily. "Skye calm down, look at me. You have to breathe."
Thankfully Skye did as she was asked, but her eyes were still wider than they should have been, cheeks flushed , and she was trembling. "He-he has the staff."
"Coulson." May muttered. "Go get him." She pulled Skye's arm over her shoulder. "Come on, we need to get you out of here."
"I'm fine." Skye mumbled, trying and failing to push her away.
She was still saying the exact same thing when Jemma and Fitz had her hooked up to half a dozen machines back at the Bus. "Guys, I'm fine."
"You certainly are not." Jemma said, "Agent Coulson told us to have a look at you and that's what we're doing."
Skye swallowed a growl. "I said I'm fine. I feel normal."
Both of them scoffed. "You know that doesn't work, right?" Fitz said, wrapping a blood pressure cuff around her arm.
"Yes." Jemma agreed, "We know exactly how that staff felt and it was definitely not normal."
Skye snapped, ripping the cuff from her arm. "Well what the hell do you two know about normal anyway?!" She said poisonously. "What's normal? Parents sending you to some great school and telling you how great you are? Everyone lining up to tell you you're the fucking best at everything?!" They were shrinking away from her. Skye didn't care. Instead she just stormed off to her bunk, the only place she could be alone.
Fitz swallowed. "She didn't mean that."
"No." Jemma agreed, fighting back tears.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Skye continued to stew alone in her bunk, forcing Fitzsimmons back. She wasn't entirely sure if it was because she was protecting them, or was angry at them. She felt sick. She felt... wrong.
"Hey kid." Skye looked up to see Izzy. "You don't look so good."
Skye swallowed heavily. She liked Izzy. She really did. But right now she wasn't in the mood to talk. She wasn't in the mood to spill her guts and cry on someone's shoulder about her shitty shitty childhood. "Please go away." Skye said softly. "I-I really can't talk right now."
Izzy frowned, looking around. "Doesn't look like you're that busy." She said, sitting down. "Is there anything I can do?"
Skye shook her head. "No. Just... leave me alone."
Izzy sighed softly, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Look after yourself Skye. If you change your mind, well... I'm always here."
Izzy let herself leave Skye, instead going to Coulson and May. "Something's up with Skye."
May said nothing and Coulson said, "We know." In a tight voice.
Izzy rolled her eyes. "You think you should do something about it?"
"We are." Melinda said, gesturing to the interrogation room where Coulson was.
Tori appeared. "Need a hand Phil?"
"I'd appreciate it." He said softly, letting her take over the questioning. He visited May and Izzy outside. "There's something about him that's... odd."
Both raised their eyebrows. "Odd how?"
"I don't know, just... does he seem a little too calm to you?"
"Well you have met before." May said, "He probably thinks you're friends since you make friends with everyone you meet."
Izzy grinned and Coulson sighed. "Still." He said, "He's in an interrogation room on a plane owned by a government organisation, and he's not even flinching." He paused. "I have a terrible idea."
Randolph did look uncomfortable as Jemma entered the room with a polite smile and some medical tools. "And what exactly are you here for?" He asked.
"Oh, well it's usual practice for us to keep files on those who have proven to be interesting to SHIELD," She said, "Blood tests, mostly, nothing major."
"Uh huh."
When Jemma got close enough to draw blood with her syringe however, Randolph gripped her wrist hard. Very hard.
Much too hard for a man of his age and apparent physicality. Before she could panic, Skye seized control of her, twisting away. Jemma backed away as Coulson and May entered the cell. "Gotcha." He said smugly.
Randolph raised an eyebrow, casually breaking the cuffs holding him. "Okay." He said, "I have to ask. How'd you know?"
"Call it a hunch." He said. "And I've met Asgardians before."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Skye couldn't think straight. She could hardly breathe. The best she could do was shield Fitz and Jemma from this terrible feeling, and she wasn't even doing that right. She could feel it. Feel them watching her, trying to get her to let them in. They didn't understand. Maybe that was for the best.
But she couldn't let them take the staff, any of them.
She wrenched the piece of staff from Randolph's chest, swinging it at the man. She didn't care who he was. All she knew was she was angry, angrier than she'd ever been in her life. She could hear them all in the back of her mind. Her parents. Her families. All of the families. She pushed them back. She didn't need them. She didn't need anyone.
May watched in horror as Skye started fighting the insurgents. "I'll get her." She said, running down after her.
Coulson could see that whatever Skye was going through was affecting the other two, but they seemed to have it under wraps. "Okay, what do I need to do?"
Jemma swallowed, shaking. "I-you need to stop the bleeding around his heart, keep it working long enough for him to heal."
"Got it."
"Skye!" May shouted as she reached the atrium. "Let go of the staff."
"No." Skye growled, charging as more people arrived.
She hit wildly with the staff fragment. It burned hot inside of her, everything was so raw and hot and wrong. She could see them, telling her that she just wasn't right for them, that she needed a different family, on the phone asking the agency if there was anything they could do.
A distant, panicked part of her mind forced her connection with Fitzsimmons shut. She couldn't let them see. If they saw then they would know the truth, that she was a screw up, useless, not worthy of anyone's care or attention.
May could feel the fury coming off Skye in overwhelming waves. It was too much.
Jemma and Fitz groaned, suddenly light-headed. Coulson looked up. "You guys okay?"
Jemma replied first, breathless, "That staff is- well..."
"It's something." Fitz gasped.
"Just hang on." Coulson said, "She's got this."
May's concern faded as the last assailant was felled. Skye continued to grip the staff pieces, but had fallen to her knees, tears running down her face. She couldn't do it, that much was clear. "Skye. It's okay." May approached slowly, "You did it, you can let go now."
Skye's eyes raised to meet hers, lost and scared.
Melinda could feel her thoughts, twisted with fear and anger. "Calm down." She said softly. "Let it go."
Skye gasped, and, after a moment, let the pieces clatter to the floor. She swayed violently, almost collapsing on her face, but May caught her. "You did good." She said quietly. "Just let it go."
Skye panted for air, feeling the effects of the staff fade. She couldn't imagine what kind of person would want that.
Her heart sank as she heard footsteps approaching. She knew what it meant. They weren't done yet.
Skye went to reach for the pieces, but May caught her arm. "No." She said, "Let me."
Melinda swallowed. "Don't look." She murmured.
May's hands closed around the pieces, and even she wasn't prepared for the white hot rage it brought on. She looked at as one of her attackers charged at her, raising her arms to fight back. She could feel the humid, muggy air, see the insurgents kidnapping that little girl.
She had to save her.
May easily threw the man aside. Her head pounded. She couldn't do it. She couldn't kill this little girl.
Except she already had.
She ducked and twisted the woman's hits. It was too much, she couldn't keep it all to herself. Melinda wrenched the final piece of the staff from her grip, hearing it clatter to the ground.
Coulson fought to continue keeping Randolph alive, despite the intense feelings of... everything, that Melinda was projecting. It was almost too much. He didn't know how she could handle it.
May grunted when the final piece flew into place, completing the staff. It was potent. It was overwhelming. She could almost see the little girl now. She felt like she did then, lost, afraid, backed into a corner with this choice before her that made it perfectly clear what kind of person she was.
Skye's breath caught in her throat at the feelings May was projecting. She couldn't even stand up. All that self-hatred and anger at the world that she had felt holding the staff was reflected perfectly in May now. Only ten times stronger.
"I am not afraid of you." Their last assailant said defiantly, and May promptly sent her flying across the room.
She gently let the staff fall back to the floor, looking up at Skye.
She swallowed. "Did you see?" Melinda asked softly, not able to even give Skye a second to gather herself.
Skye shook her head, "No- I-I felt it though." She took a shuddering breath, "May- I-"
"It's okay," She said, helping Skye to her feet. "You don't have to say anything."
Just before May let go of Skye's arm, Skye pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry." She whispered. "I don't know what happened, but... I know that it sucked."
Despite everything, Melinda huffed a quiet laugh. "Yeah." She said, somehow finding it in her to return the hug. "Yours did too."
Skye drew away before the others arrived. "Yeah." She said softly. "Don't- don't tell the others I'm so clingy."
"There are a lot of worse things to be." May said, not meeting Coulson's eyes as he appeared at the base of the stairs.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Skye continued to block Jemma and Fitz out for the remainder of the night. She could feel them, hovering on the edge of her consciousness, curious and concerned, but she couldn't let them in. She couldn't let them see how useless she really was.
She sat on the couch in the common area. The plane was parked for the night, and even though SHIELD had given them a swanky hotel to stay in, Skye couldn't feel even remotely comfortable there. She liked being on the Bus. It was as close to home as she had.
She sighed, pulling her blanket tighter around herself. It was hard to think straight. She could still feel the staff's effects, like they were under her skin. Like there was something wrong with her. Maybe there was.
Skye heard Coulson approaching long before he actually appeared. "Hey." He said softly. "Can't sleep?"
She shook her head, and Coulson sat on the other couch. "May can't either. But she's trying to fool me."
"She doesn't want you to worry."
He sighed. "Yeah. She's always trying to protect us. She never really wants us to protect her."
"Maybe she thinks that you can't." Skye said flatly.
"Maybe, yeah." He leaned back in his seat in the dark. "I just worry that she doesn't know how much we all care about her."
Skye swallowed thickly. "She knows." She said, "You know she does."
"Sometimes." He said softly. Coulson paused, looking up at Skye. "I know how you feel you know."
Skye pulled the blanket around her tighter. "Really angry from holding some alien hate stick?"
"No." He smiled banefully. "About your cluster. When we were connected I was suddenly sharing a consciousness with a martial arts master. A mercenary who could disassemble any weapon she laid eyes on. An agent who I'd only heard of by name, who was already running her own division at SHIELD. And me. Some rookie right out of the academy. No special skills, nothing. The others would never admit it, but I was kind of the weak link."
Skye looked down. "And what, you realised that you had inner worth?"
Coulson laughed softly. "No. I spent years trying to be better at things, but nothing worked. Then one day we lost two members of our cluster." His face twisted with grief. "Tori was closing off, Melinda was burning herself out, Izzy wanted to take her anger out on someone." He shook his head. "Nothing could pull them out of it. Except me." He sighed. "I talked to them, spent time with them, did my best to fix our connection. Once we were... better, I realised that it wasn't that they wouldn't admit I was the weak link. It was that I was the only one who saw myself that way."
Skye looked down. "Really? You think that I'm on the same level as those two?"
"No, but that's the point!" Coulson said, "Look, I get it. You're in a cluster with two people who had PHD's before they could drink, but do you think either of them could have held that staff for more than a second? They need you Skye, just as much as you need them. Maybe even more."
Skye balled her fists around the blanket. "But what if I'm not good enough?"
"They think that you are." Coulson murmured. "Maybe you should trust your cluster. They know you pretty well."