Man, I'd give anything to trade places with Luna right about now. I could be swimming in actual raw sewage at an awesome party, but do I get to? Noooo, of course not. I'm stuck following Little Miss Center of the Universe around. Why do you have to be so impossible, Lola? I know you can be better than this, but even when Lincoln's in trouble, you think everything's about you. Well, it's not. And I'm gonna prove it.
But where do I start? I'm stuck in this stupid pageant hall until Mr. Grouse comes back. What am I supposed to find here? Lola would know, but she's too busy getting praised for that Ace Savvy movie. Maybe I should go back and get her. Nah, she won't listen to me. She never listens to me.
"Lola? Is that you, girl?"
I perked up as I heard a voice I didn't recognize. Standing outside the dressing room were three super-fancy pageant girls. One of them was a redhead wearing a green dress. The second one was a dark-skinned girl with a yellow dress. The third had brown skin and a blue dress. They all seemed to have their noses buried in their phones, except for the redhead, who was looking right at me.
"Uh, who wants to know?" I asked.
The redhead raised an eyebrow. "You got a cold or something? Your voice sounds scratchy."
"Maybe she just wants to avoid the paparazzi," said Yellow Dress with a shrug. "Can't say I blame her. The first time's always the hardest, after all."
Okay, these girls obviously know Lola, but they don't know about me. What do I do here? Should I just lie and pretend to be Lola? I dunno, last time I did that, she was not happy with me. But these girls are really really fancy. Like, more fancy than any pageant contestant I've ever seen ever. Would they want to talk to someone like me? Maybe I can just play it cool.
"Heh, I actually get that a lot," I said. "The name's Lana. I'm Lola's twin sister."
"Never heard of you," said the redhead bluntly.
Dang it. I should've pretended to be Lola.
"Heh. I never took Lola to be so clever as to use her own sister as a body double," said Blue Dress. Her accent was kinda weird, like the accent Lola uses when she wants to be fancy. Except it sounded a bit more, hmm, how do I describe it? Real? I dunno. All I know is that whatever she said caused the redhead to take another look at me. After a pause, she smirked.
"Well, if that's the case, your secret's safe with us," she said with a wink. "We've all been there."
"Been… where?" I asked. "And who are you guys? I've never seen you in Royal Woods before."
"Oh, but where are my manners?" said the redhead. "I'm Chinah, with two hs. These here are my friendly rivals, Jackie and Claudette. We met Lola at the Little Miss Southeastern Michigan pageant."
"Hey," said Yellow Dress.
"Bonjour," said Blue Dress.
Even when they were being friendly, they were still texting on their phones. I swear, it's like looking at three miniature Loris, if Lori was into pageants.
"So, uh… you guys are here to see Lola?" I said.
"It's not like we have any other reason to come to this place," said Jackie.
I had to raise an eyebrow at that. "Why? What's wrong with Royal Woods?"
"Oh, don't get us wrong. This town is quite… quaint," said Chinah. "But we never heard of it until we met Lola."
"We figured it would be only sporting of us to congratulate her on her success," said Claudette. "We pageant princesses are not without honor, after all."
Maybe it's because I've only been a pageant princess once in my life, but when I think of a pageant, the word "honor" doesn't really come to mind. Everyone's more obsessed with winning than anything. What are these girls really after?
"So, how'd you hear about this movie?" I asked.
"I can see why you're surprised. This would've flown right under our radar if we didn't see the trailer on social media," said Jackie. "Chinah found a link to the trailer making the rounds on the pageant message boards last night. Once she told me and Claudette about it, we decided to check up on our up-and-coming rival."
"And not a moment too soon," added Claudette. "I am supposed to be returning to France tomorrow for le Petite Mademoiselle Paris pageant. This will mark my fifth victory."
Is it just me, or did she sound… bored when she said that? It was like winning a pageant was just another Tuesday for her. Not even Lola treats pageants like that. Who are these girls?!
"To be honest, we weren't sure how well Lola was taking this newfound success," said Chinah. "Jackie here had to hide her smile for a month just to stop people from taking pictures of her."
"Hide her smile?"
"She does toothpaste commercials."
To prove this, Jackie flashed me a quick smile. I was almost blinded by how bright and white her teeth were. Mom would certainly be proud of her.
"But, just like the rest of us, she got used to the fame and attention," Chinah continued. "And seeing as Lola went through the trouble to set you up as a body double, it seems she has her worries, too. Even the best pageant princess can get stage fright."
She says that, but the last time I saw Lola, she was busy hogging the spotlight and swooning over Winston. These girls don't know her very well, do they?
"Anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you, Lana," said Claudette. "But I think it's time we talked to the real Lola. Is she around?"
Oh, sheesh. What do I say now? I mean, I don't really care what these girls think of Lola, but I think they're gonna get mad at me if they find out I'm not really her body double. As if this day couldn't get any worse.
"I can take you to her."
The door to the dressing room swung open, revealing a face I did recognize. The curly orange hair; the red bow; the frilly purple dress. It was Lola's greatest rival, Lindsey Sweetwater. The other girls raised their eyebrows at her.
"And you are?" asked Chinah.
Lindsey scoffed. "The one and only Lindsey Sweetwater, of course," she said, striking a pose.
After a pause, the girls shrugged and went back to their phones. "Never heard of you," said Jackie.
So it's not just me. They just say that to everyone they think isn't important enough. Jeez, pageant princesses are snooty. Lindsey's face turned bright red as she gnashed her teeth.
"R-right, yeah. Sorry, forgot you girls were from out of town," she said, clearing her throat. "I-I couldn't help but listen in on your little tete-a-tete. You're here for Lola, right?"
"That is correct," said Claudette.
"Well, it just so happens that she's one of my best friends!"
Okay, I know that was a lie. Lindsey Sweetwater has been trying to destroy Lola's life for years, but now that Lola's gonna be a movie, they're suddenly best friends? I'm not buying it.
"Really? She never mentioned you," said Jackie.
"Well, you know Lola. She doesn't keep track of that sort of thing," said Lindsey with a wave of her hand.
Chinah blinked. "Actually, we don't know her that well. We only met her once, at the Little Miss Southeastern Michigan pageant."
"All the more reason you should let me take you to her!" said Lindsey. "I happen to know the real Lola very well. Oh, and I wouldn't pay any mind to this pageant pauper over here. She has no idea what she's talking about."
"Um, excuse me?" I said. "What did you just call me?"
"Wait, how did you know that's Lola's body double?" said Claudette, pointing at me.
Lindsey looked at me, then at Claudette. She then laughed.
"You have quite an imagination. Why would Lola want a body double?" she said. "She thrives on getting attention like this. C'mon, I'll show you!"
The girls looked at each other, clearly confused. They shrugged and began to follow her. Before they left, Lindsey turned to me.
"This isn't a place for pageant paupers, Loud," she hissed. "Go back to your mud puddles and armpit farts. That's all you're good for."
I would've hit her right then and there if the other girls weren't looking at me. Seriously, out of all the pageant princesses I know, she is just the worst. Yes, even worse than Lola. Maybe she does have something up her sleeve, after all. But does it have anything to do with Lincoln? How can I find out?
As the girls left, I noticed that Lindsey left the door to the dressing room open. Hmm. Well, not like I have any other options. Let's see. Coast looks clear. Alright, time to see what's what.
Perfect. No one's in here. I'm not sure what I'm gonna find, but something about Lindsey Sweetwater definitely rubbed me the wrong way. Let's start with that table thingie with the big mirror and all the makeup.
Hmm. Looks like Lindsey left in a hurry. The makeup is still open. Maybe she overheard me talking to those other girls and rushed out of here to meet them. But how would she even know those girls were coming? Even they didn't know they'd be here. They only came here once they heard about… the movie…
…
Wait a minute. Could Lindsey have known about the movie? The only Ace Savvy fan here is Winston, and those fancy girls only heard about it online last night. So that means Winston's the go-to guy to find out more about the movie. But he's buttering up Lola right now. Hmm, maybe there's something in this dressing room that belongs to him. It wouldn't be on this table, though. Boys don't wear makeup unless they're part of that Smooch band Lincoln likes. Let's see… Maybe in the closet?
Hmm. Door's locked. Luckily, this lock's something I have experience with. Good thing I brought my screwdriver. Just gotta take out these screws here, and… open sesame! Now, let's see what we've got in here.
Hello, what's this? It looks like a diary. There's some writing on it. "Property of Lindsey Sweetwater." Huh, that's weird. Why would she hide her diary in here? More importantly, why isn't it at her house? Anyone with a key to the closet could just waltz in here and take it. I know Lola would do that. She reads our diaries all the time.
Dang it. There's a book lock on here. If Leni were here, she'd be able to pick it easily. Maybe I can… ooh, hang on! There's something sticking out of the pages. Okay, careful, careful… Got it!
Huh? It looks like one of those ransom letters. Y'know, the one where all the letters are cut out of magazines? Very suspicious. Wonder what it says?
SOme1 ElSe bEAt uS 2 LincOln LaST NiGHT. He'S stiLL gOnE lIkE u wanTed, so doN't TaTTle oN Us.
…
I-I can't believe this. Lola was right all along! Lindsey Sweetwater was planning to hurt Lincoln to get to her! But who did she get to do it, and what kind of dirt did she have on them? I don't think this was the only part of her plan. There has to be something else in here I can use.
"I'll only be a moment. Just remembered that I forgot something in the dressing room."
Dang it! Someone's coming! I can't reattach the doorknob in time! Oh, what do I do, what do I do?!
Before I could decide anything, the door swung open. There stood Lindsey Sweetwater, glaring at me. That… is what we call a big oopsie.
"Uh, I-I can explain…"
Lindsey smiled. "Oh dear, pageant pauper. You just can't resist poking your nose where it doesn't belong, can you? Well, like my mommy always says, naughty little paupers need to be put in time-out when they misbehave."
She then walked out of the dressing room and slammed the door. I tried to chase after her, but when I grabbed the doorknob, I heard an audible click. The door wouldn't budge. She locked me in here!
"Open this door right now!" I yelled.
"I'm sure the janitor will come for you eventually," said Lindsey. "In the meantime, it's time I ruined Lola's reputation forever. Don't worry, I'm sure she'll tell you all about it. Adieu, pageant pauper."
I am really starting to hate that nickname. Erggh, this isn't good. I don't know what she's gonna do, but I gotta warn Lola. Hmm, maybe I can… Dang it, this lock's too complicated. Okay, Lana. Think.
Um, uh… There! A ventilation shaft in the closet! I just need to climb up the shelves, open the grate, and shimmy through! Easy pe— Um, actually, that looks kinda high… Nngh, snap out of it, Lana. There's no other way out.
Alright, just don't look down. Don't look down. Keep climbing, and don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Okay, made it. Tch, this shelf doesn't feel sturdy. Better hustle. C'mon, you stupid screws… Bingo! Wh-whoa~! Th-the shelf's gonna crack!
…
Phew~. That was too close. I bet Lucy never has to deal with this whenever she hides in the vents. Okay, I gotta get to Lola before Sweetwater does. I just hope I'm not too late…