Attack on Zombies
Levi, Chapter 4

An.
I have heart problems! Yay!
Just found out last week. It's all caffeine based, but without my caffeine...I'm a zombie. Unfortunately, when I drink it, I get extremely sick, bloated, and my heart has these weird spasms.
Adding that to anxiety, I'm just full of problems! I EMPATHIZE WITH YOU, HEICHOU!
Warning this chapter gets fucked up you can avoid it if you're sensitive.

"Tch, too damn easy."

She gets in the car with your items and signals for her entourage to follow suit, driving off into the distance. Those cold blue eyes seem to be filled with pleasure from your misery…

You look over the edge, trying to keep track of Levi's actions.

"She didn't take our sabres," Hanji remarked, trying to bring some happiness into the atmosphere. You shot a look at her, and went down to talk to Levi.

He stood dully beside the river, though his eyes held deep concern.

"L-Levi?" You asked, worry in your tone. "Hey, don't worry. I'm sure we can find a pharmacy or a grocery store. They'll have some, for sure."

Petra came close to the two of you. She bit her lip.

"Actually...there aren't any pharmacies near here… But there is one grocery store."

You furrowed your brow, then put your hand on the boy's shoulder. "You hear that?"

He moved your hand off of his shoulder instantly, with a startled expression.

"Please, (name). Don't touch me. I hate being touched."

You and Petra exchanged looks, and you turned away, embarrassed, and feeling hurt. You walked over to Hanji, grabbing a saber from beside her feet. Your (e/c) eyes met her dark brown ones.

"She didn't take our sabers, Hanji...but she took something else."

The brunette tilted her head. You noticed how tired her eyes looked. Levi's eyes held the same dark circles. Your group was already falling apart at the seams.

You would have to serve as the needle and thread, you decided as your hand tightened on the leather-wrapped grip of your blade.

You walked ahead of the group, and one by one, they began to follow you. Petra got Levi to follow, using some words you could not hear.

Miles down the road, you approached the grocery store, surrounded by other small specialty stores, like a tanning salon and a nail studio. You'd come into contact with relatively few zombies along the road, but you could tell from the parking lot that this would be a very crowded, poor decision.

The grocery store lay between a lush forest and the road, with a few smaller stores sandwiching it in the middle. The road had woods beside it, and you were considering retreating. It had to be around five or six now.

"Hey, (Name)," Hanji called out. She pointed out Petra, whose skin was a light rosy color from sun exposure. You sighed, and removed your jacket, putting it over the cute girl's head to protect it. Hanji smiled at you, then returned her attention to the scene. "There is no way we can get in there. We'd be noticed in a heartbeat. And if it's that crowded in the parking lot, the store will be Hell."

You didn't want to acknowledge this. Levi needed that Xanax. He had his reasons, and you would need medication as well if you had been through his circumstances.

"We need to get in there, Hanji. For Levi, our...our captain."

You both looked at the weakened man. He had still said nothing since this afternoon. His face was still the same, emotionless painting, but there was darkness in him that you couldn't see, but could certainly feel.

"It's a suicide mission," she warned you, angrily. "I won't go in there. There will be another opportunity. Our only option is to let him go unmedicated for a while, until we find some. In the mean time, we need to make sure he's relaxed and not under any stress."

"Not under any stress?" you questioned, making sure to keep your voice down to not attract unwanted attention. "For God's sake, Hanji, this is an apocalypse. What isn't stressful?"

"I shot my own mother," Hanji growled at you, sending your pride back down your throat. "I understand being sad. But I will hold back until we're safe."

You felt her anger building up, and decided to give in. Making your way to Petra, your eyes couldn't meet her's. "Petra…"

"I understand," she nodded. "We can't get in there, there's just no way."

Levi was in the back, but he began to approach you. "It's okay, (Name)," he reassured you. "I understand. I'd rather not risk your lives today. Let's just find somewhere safe."

You were glad to hear him at least talk. "Thank you, Levi...is there anywhere you'd like to stay? We can break into a big, comfy mansion if you want?"

Levi looked away. "I'd rather just stay somewhere safe. Let's look for whatever is the closest, and stay there."

That was the only leadership he could project before he returned to his reserved silence, but you were happy to at least have his opinion. Turning away from the grocery store, you walked into the woods. "Surely we'll find something if we keep going this way," you hoped out loud. Hanji didn't seem to disapprove; none of you knew where a neighborhood near here would be, anyways, except for Eld, who agreed that it would be quicker and less hazardous to travel by woodland.

Your feet crunched against the leaves and the thorned plants that you struggled to avoid. You promised yourself silently that the minute you gained an opportunity for new clothes, you would find some comfortable mom-jeans, tall boots, and a more baggy (but not excessively large) shirt, so that this damned forest navigation wouldn't be so harsh. Your pant legs were already beginning to show signs of tearing.

A zombie passed by, and turned its head slowly towards you. She let out a hiss, and reached out for you. You ran up to her and, using your strength to the best of your ability, swung at her with the saber. To your dismay, it did little.

You lifted a leg, kicking her back some so you could remove the blade. It was a piercing sword, not a slicing sword. Annoyed at the uselessness of this weapon, you re-positioned yourself, aiming for the head, and pierced straight through. The sound was disgustingly squishy, and you pulled back the blade, sending blood out of the newly formed hole on the head of the corpse.

"We need better weapons," you groaned.

"I'm sure thousands of other people have already said that," Eld replied. "But I'm also sure that's why the group of thugs didn't rob us of these."

"At least we have something," Petra growled. Her true redness from the sunburn was beginning to reveal itself now that her skin had relaxed.

With a sigh, you looked up and saw the faint outlines of a trailer park.

"Well, it's terrible protection against a large group, but if we stay quiet, there shouldn't be any trouble in it," you said in regards to the smaller homes. The others nodded at you, following your lead like sheep.

You ran to it, and peaked out to see what the situation was. A few of the dead ones walked around, making eye contact with each other and not acknowledging it. You counted five.

"We can take them," you whispered. Petra nodded behind you, as well as the rest. There were six of you, right? And five if Levi was excluded.

Running up, you each drew your blades and went at it with the beasts. Some of them were easily taken down, but you aimed just below the brain and swung too late, entering straight through the mouth. The creature pulled itself closer to you, and you dropped your weapon, moving away. Too late, it grabbed onto you, pushing you to the floor and then lingering over your body. The blade was all that kept you separate, and it wasn't doing much good as the damned monster pulled itself closer and closer. You whimpered and tried to push it off, but you were pinned, and then-

Sklush.

A saber impaled the creature straight through the middle of the head, so that you could see the other end coming out of the forehead. You quickly moved out from under it as it could no longer support its weight. Levi held the blade, and began to tug downwards, so that it ripped the head entirely in half. You gagged, watching him rip his weapon free. His eyes met yours, and he cleaned the blade off in the grass. Everyone was watching with concern.

"I'll pick out which one we stay in," he sighed. Testing each doorknob on one trailer, he found that the front door of it, which he tried last, was unlocked. With pleasure, he opened the door, and made sure the place was entirely empty. Afterwards, he came back out. "It's empty."

Relieved, everyone entered, and locked the door. The interior revealed the house to be much bigger on the inside. There was a thick, green carpet, and the walls were all gray. The kitchen had wooden floors, but the wall was the same. There was a large TV in the living room, and there were four bedrooms, and two bathrooms.

Pleased with your findings, you sat on the couch after moving it in front of the front door. Hanji searched the kitchen and shook her head.

"All I can find are canned beans," she groaned. Petra didn't have much luck in the bedrooms.

"Just some travel bags," she sighed. "But at least there's that."

You sat up. "You mean to tell me there's not a knife or anything in this house?"

"There's a gunsafe in here," Eld replied from the master bedroom. "But, it's locked."

Levi brushed past you and entered the room with Eld. His voice could be heard from your position. "Let me try, Eld. I might be able to crack it."

Eld moved away, and Levi sat at the safe for a long time. Meanwhile, you decided that barbecue beans were better than nothing, and cut into them with a kitchen knife. The electricity here had been shut off.

Pouring them into bowls, you used up four cans, dividing them up as well as you could. You brought each person a bowl with a spoon, eventually leading up to Levi. As soon as you entered the master bedroom, you heard a click.

"Levi?" you inquired, looking into the closet. He had just cracked the safe, and opened it up. Inside, a revolver pistol was on the bottom, and several rounds of ammunition were on shelves. He removed the gun and inspected it.

"It's not bad," he replied, setting it down and looking up at you. His eyes looked as if they were starting to have some life in them. You took the gun from his hand, which he jerked back upon contact. You sighed, handing him the bowl of beans.

"They're cold, but it's food. Enjoy…"

Levi accepted the bowl, and watched you carry away the gun, bringing it to Petra, who was in the other room.

"Petra, can we talk?" you asked, setting the weapon on the bed. She looked up at you and nodded...

"You wanna know the truth?"

The room was dim, but you had a candle lit between the two of you, dimly illuminating her face. You nodded at her. After an hour of talking, you were finally getting down to more serious conversations. All to find out more about her, and more about Levi.

Her face held a tender smile.

"The truth is, I love him."

You furrowed your brow. She seemed to happy in telling you, but there was also sadness.

"But, he'll never love me."

"What do you mean?"

The girl brushed her hair behind her ear. Her face was positioned so that a shadow was cast over her eyes.

"Why wouldn't he love you, Petra? You're so kind, and so beautiful. Don't put yourself down."

"It isn't me, (Name). It's him."

You felt taken aback. It sounded so rude to hear. "What?"

"I don't mean anything bad about him. But there are definitely some things you don't know about Levi. Things he has confessed in me, that have made him incapable of loving."

You tilted your head. "He told me that he was moved from parent to parent, and eventually gave up on ever being adopted."

"If that were all it took, (Name), we'd all have anxiety but you and Hanji…"

Her eyes grew very serious. You leaned in.

"Levi...was twelve, the last time he was adopted. By a woman named Shyla. And she was a very kind, very beautiful woman, at first glance. Nothing proved wrong in her records. She seemed fine. And at first, Levi loved his life with her, writing notes back to the orphanage about how wonderful she was, and how she was more like a best friend than a mother, and he didn't mind…

"But then…"

Levi backed against a wall.

"Why did you do that?!" he screamed at her, staring her right in the eyes. He was trying not to cry, but there was obvious fear in him. His entire body was shaking.

The woman looked down on him mercilessly. She smiled, coming closer and breathing on his neck. He looked away.

"S-stop it!" he yelled, pushing her away. But her hands grabbed his, and she held him against the wall.

"I love you, Levi. And I want you to be happy with me."

He wasn't strong enough to push her back, and sobbed loudly. But no one could hear those yells here, not in this house, so far away from any neighbors, from anyone who could care.

"(Name), that woman, she...raped him. She raped him every day, torturing him, making him fear coming home. But no one dared believe it. A woman, raping a boy? It was crazy. Especially hearing it of Shyla, the town's most charitable and caring woman. They accused him of attention-seeking, and sent him back home. There was no proof. She didn't leave marks. She wasn't stupid enough to do that.

"He once tried to kill her, but his heart was filled with kindness and love, as our orphanage mother had instructed. He couldn't bring himself to hurt her, so he began hurting himself instead, cutting, and drinking, and overdosing a few times on drugs. And nearly every night for a year, he'd lose his breath, his mouth would go dry - he'd be frozen in fear as he was…used."

Your eyes were wide with horror.

"She started off with small things. Kissing, touching. And it gradually became worse and worse. He wasn't safe anywhere, even in his own skin. He'd sit alone, and he'd feel her reaching for him, grabbing hold and killing him from the inside. Eventually, Levi became completely desensitized to it. He came home expecting it, (Name)! He knew it was going to happen, and he just got used to it! He became romantically involved with his adoptive mother! Don't you see what's wrong with that?!"

"I-"

"He would buy her flowers! He bathed her and fed her when she was sick, and he fucking worshiped that damn woman! He no longer considered it rape, because it was like Stockholm's Syndrome! He'd come home and talk to her about his day, and she'd listen, and then he'd just cuddle her, pleasing her with massages and words of affirmation! And the thing he'd do most is clean her house. She never asked him to do that, though. He just did. It got worse as that 'relationship' grew, as if cleaning was a way to wipe off his pain. To take it all away and forget it happened. It was a hidden ache to get away from this new hell. But she'd come in the room, and he'd smile, and continue loving her as if she were his wife.

"And slowly, she began to deny his love. She'd come home tired and he'd try to touch her, but she'd slap his hand away. She'd go out late and party, leaving him alone in that house. And he'd pace the halls, every room filling him with some form of dreadful memory. One day she came home and got him in the car, and just left him at the orphanage, refusing to give an explanation as to why, what he had done, or anything. He was just abandoned, again, for the last time."

You were speechless.

"Levi tried to kill himself six times. He had anxiety attacks nearly every night. I met him and convinced him, after we became friends, to tell the orphanage mother. She had the woman arrested, and sent Levi to a therapist. At first, when I met him, he would scream if I so much as touched him. He's grown used to me, but he still fears arousal, he fears the building up of romance. He fears so much, (Name)..."

Her eyes were watering, and her voice was growing weak.

"His mind would replay scenes from what he saw, and he couldn't take it back. It still does, but he...the Xanax keeps him from reacting. Keeps him from crying. He's cold now. Cold as the winter air, as the breath that Death breathes onto his next victims, claiming them and sending them on their path to Heaven or Hell."

The room was silent and the candle began to dim. Your eyes were wet with tears, but Petra was worse off. Her voice was no longer there, and all that remained was a creaking, tearful whisper.

"And that's why he'll never love me, (Name). He'll never love anyone."

You reached for his hand, and he jumped when your skin touched his. He quickly took his hand back.

"Please...just...sleep," he whispered, laying on the floor and closing his eyes tightly.

"Please, (name). Don't touch me. I hate being touched."

Gee a lot happened this week.
I rejected my friend, because I'm secretly in love with my best friend for five years, and got accused of being a "Friend-zoner".
Also I dumped my last person because he tried to have sex with me after a week. That was pretty not cool.
Maybe my heart problems are punishment for writing this chapter.
Next chapter will be sad but after that it cheers up, pinky swear.
Reviews are loved and treasured.