"Better Than Revenge"
From Jakes POV – simply changes the 'she's to 'he's and 'him's to 'her's etc.
"Now go stand in the corner Time for revenge The story starts when it was hot
And think about what you did"
And it was summer and I had it all
I had him right where I wanted him
She came along, got him alone
And let's hear the applause
She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"
I never saw it coming
Wouldn't have suspected it
I underestimated just who I was dealing with
She had to know the pain
Was beating in me like a drum
She underestimated just who she was stealing from
The story of my pain starts in the Summer. It was the perfect summer – in the north of Washington, it was hot. Which is rare.
And I had it all.
I had her – I had her just where I wanted her.
She was falling in love with me.
Then he came along, managed to get her alone.
And *Wait for the applause* He took her faster than you could say sabotage.
He ruined my plan.
I never saw it coming – she didn't see it coming. Neither of us suspected that he would come back.
I guess I underestimated him.
He had to know the pain I was feeling – he was a mind reader and all. He had to know how it stabbed at my heart like a drum.
The thing is – he underestimated just who he was stealing from.
She's not a saint
And she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
But she's better known
For the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't
Make you many friends
She should keep in mind
She should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge
"He's not a saint Bella," I told her.
"Yes he is."
"He's not what you think."
"He's exactly what I think."
"He's a real good actor. That's all. He's had over 100 years to perfect the skills."
"I don't care."
"Do you care about the fact that he might be lying to you about his virginity?" There. That got her attention. No one could stay blue-balled for what, 110 years? Not evena vampire.
"I don't care Jake."
"You do." I taunted her.
She ignored me, but I knew that I'd planted a seed of doubt.
Part one of Revenge: Get Bella Back complete.
She looks at life like it's
A party and she's on the list
She looks at me like I'm a trend
And she's so over it
I think her ever present
Frown is a little troubling
And she thinks I'm psycho
'cause I like to rhyme her name with things
But sophistication isn't
What you wear or who you know
Or pushing people down
To get to where you wanna go
They wouldn't teach you that
In prep school so it's up to me
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity
Edward seems to glide through his life with Bella like it's some high tailed party. And he's on the list. Heck, he probably thinks that he wrote the list.
And he keeps looking at me like I'm a recycled fad that he's 'over'/
I think his ever-present frown is troubling.
And he tells Bella that I'm psycho – just because I created totally legitimate nicknames.
Like 'Fuckward' and 'Eddi-poo' and 'Popsicle'.
You'd think, though, that with over 100 years' experience, he'd know that pushing people down *cough* *cough* ME *cough* doesn't get you where you wanna go in life. You'd think that with 100 years at prep schools he'd realise this. You'd think he'd realise that vintage clothes and vintage ideas doesn't give you diginity.
It gives you problems.
She's not a saint
And she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
But she's better known
For the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't
Make you many friends
She should keep in mind
She should keep in mind
There's is nothing I do better than revenge
"Jake, what's wrong with you? Why are you so bitter towards Edward?"
"Because he stole you."
"I'm not a toy that kindergarteners fight over."
"He doesn't have many friends, does he? Maybe it's because he steals things that aren't his." I continue on, ignoring her.
"Jake, he has heaps of friends."
"Like?"
"Tania."
"A vampire. A gorgeous, tall, blonde vampire, I'm guessing, whose had years and years of friendship with Edward. Yes. I like his choice in friends. I believe they call it friends with-"
"Jake, don't even go there! He would never!"
"Honey, as beautiful as you are, I'm pretty sure that back in his day, blondes were all the rage. I'm pretty sure you don't grow out of fads like that."
She glowers at me. "Stay here. I'm going to talk to him."
I smirk.
"That doesn't mean that you've won! It just means that I have to prove his innocence to you."
"Sure sure."
But I knew that Revenge: Part 2 was complete.
She trusts me more than him now.
I'm just another thing for you
To roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him but haven't you heard
I'm just another thing for you
To roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him but I always get the last word
"Jacob, what's this, this, thing you have with my girlfriend? You think that you can tell her lies about me? That you can spread rumours?"
"I do believe rumours always have a seed of truth."
He rolls his eyes.
"Dog, this has to stop. For Bella's sake if nothing else. This is killing her."
"Then let her go!"
"Never!"
I smirk. "You might have her now. But what happens when that Southern Comfort of a brother takes another snap at her? You gonna take off then? Listen you Leech, I always get the last word. And in this case, that last word is Bella."
"Shouldn't that be her decision?"
"Shouldn't you let her make it? Or are you scared that she'll pick me?"
He glowers at me, before stalking off. Once he's way away, I think – perhaps a little too gleefully: Revenge: Part 3 complete.
She's not a saint
And she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
But she's better known
For the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't
Make you many friends
She should keep in mind
She should keep in mind
There's is nothing I do better than revenge
"Jake, this has to stop!" She pleaded with me.
But I wasn't gonna stop now. She had bruises on her wrist that size of a vampire's hand.
"Bells. No. He hurt you. So now, I hurt him."
"This is crazy!"
"No. I'm going."
"He didn't bite me! He hasn't broken he treaty!"
"Oh I know."
"Then how are you…"
"Bella, there's honestly nothing I do better than revenge.
Do you still feel like
You know what you're doing
'cause I don't think you do?
Do you still feel like
You know what you're doing?
I don't think you do
I don't think you do
Let's hear the applause
Come on show me
How much better you are
So you deserve some applause
'cause you're so much better
She took him faster than
You could say "sabotage"
"Jake, no!"
"Bells, he took you faster than you can say sabotage. He waited just until you were ready to move on, before he came back. Threatening to kill himself if you didn't save him. He has emotionally and physically abused you, he's played with your mind, made you think that you're not good enough for him. But Bells, you're too good for him. You're in a bad relationship. And if I have to tie you up in my room,' *Cue inappropriate fantisies* 'Then so be it! I won't sit by and watch my best friend – the girl I love – get hurt! I made a promise to you, and I'm keeping it."
Let's here the applause for Jacob.
Cos I'm that awesome.
Oh, and I won the girl.