I walked with Peter for a while but he didn't say anything. He looked as if he was trying to find a way out of talking but I wasn't going to let that happen, if he wasn't going to talk I was.
"What is the heart of the truest spirit?" I asked trying to keep my voice calm but after everything that's happened I am getting slightly aggravated.
"Everyone has a heart, but there are certain people born with special hearts. One is called heart of the truest believer, one is heart of the truest love. But you have the heart of the truest spirit. You have the spirit of the island in you." Peter looked as if he was choosing his words as he said them. He kept looking everywhere but at me and I was ready to slap him.
"Stop looking like your hiding things! Just tell me everything that's happened! Why did I collapse? Why did I lose control like that? What are you hiding from me? Who are you really? Who is this other girl who came to Neverland? Can you just tell me what is bloody going on!" I roared in anger already feeling my blood boil. Peter looked shocked at my outburst but I don't care I want to get answers.
"Be happy I'm giving you any answers!" He snarled as me, his eyes changing looking black. Is this what Felix was talking about? Is this the side of him he is trying to hide?
"You are not the one who almost destroyed part of the island! You are not the one who's heart apparently started ripping itself apart! Now tell me what I want to know Peter!" He looked like it was taking everything in him not to lose control but he has no right to be angry right now! I am the one who almost killed many people in Neverland and was the one who passed out because of the pain, if anyone should be angry it should be me.
"You are pushing it White Lilly Bird." He said with his teeth clenched.
"Answer my bloody questions Peter!" I snapped almost all my patience was gone.
"You know what White Lilly, you can go and find out for yourself! I have tried over and over to be nice to you and to make this pleasant but you just can't let go can you! No you need to show that your free, that your untamed! Well I tried giving you all that but now we play my game!" Peter snarled and his voice held so much anger and frustration. A small part of me saw that he did try and that I haven't been trying hard to open up but a bigger part of me didn't care, opening up was not something I did.
"I am getting answers Pan on everything. On why my heart did that, why I lost control and who is this other girl that came to Neverland!" I thought the outburst would just make Peter angry like the other outburst did but his face turned into a smirk. I could feel the confusion bubble in me as Peter started walking toward me.
"My dear White Lilly Bird are you sure your not just feeling jealous of this other girl that was here? By the way her name was Wendy Darling. She was a beautiful girl, so delicate and she needed to be protected. I loved her and she loved me." With each word Peter stepped closer and I stepped back. I knew I wanted answers but I did have to admit when he talked about this Wendy I felt a burning hatred towards her.
"I kissed her a few times. She always would be breathless after and she would have flushed pink cheeks and her blue eyes would look bigger." He kept walking towards me and I kept waking away but I ended up bumping into a tree. My heart felt like it was thumping a million miles a minute. I felt like prey and Peter was the predator.
"Are you jealous my White Lilly Bird?" Peter was right in front now and I felt my breathing pick up. He leaned down slightly and was close to kissing me. I stood still and held my breath. I could feel Peter's breath on me as he chuckled. I thought maybe he was going to pull away and was just trying to mess with me when he smashed his lips onto mine.
I was frozen for a second but Peter was patient and just waited. I don't know what took over but I started to kiss him back. I wrapped my hand in his hair and with my other hand placed it on his cheek. I felt him smirk in the kiss and pushed me into the tree. He deepened the kiss and I felt something, a fire burning inside me and only Peter could tame it.
The fire kept roaring in me and I swear it would consume me but every time it almost did, Peter tamed it. Peter kept teasing by pulling away and then coming back. I growled at him when he did that, shocking myself in the process. He used his hand to trace my face and everywhere he touched tingled with pleasure. I took my hand and traced his jawline and then his lips. Everything about him screamed danger but right now I didn't care. This is who Peter was, and I loved every part of him.
"My White Lilly Bird, you are mine." The second Peter said those words everything vanished and I pushed him away. The trance hat I was in broke as those words rang in my head. You are mine. I don't belong to anyone. He didn't look mad at all when I pushed him away in fact he was smiling. My face hardened into a glare and the anger came rushing back.
"Why in the bloody hell did you do that!" I roared but Peter didn't even flinch he just kept smiling.
"Don't deny it my White Lilly Bird you liked it. You felt something and you know you always have since the moment you saw me. You just kept it hidden even from yourself. It may not be love yet but it will be soon. And when that happens we both will live forever as will this island and everyone on it!" Peter sounded so joyful and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
"You don't care at all for me. You just want to be forever in your youth. That's the only reason isn't it?" My voice sounded raw and was quiet, so only Peter could hear. His eyes widened at my accusation but in his eyes I could tell I was right.
"No, that's not tr-" I didn't even wait for him to finish what he said before taking off into the woods. I sprinted as fast as I could and felt my feet take me to the lagoon with the mermaids. Most people couldn't trust them but for some reason even after I almost killed one they took a liking to me. They helped with my magic and let me sleep in the rock near there lagoon when I hunted near them. They will be able to hide me.
I reached the lagoon and looked for Aqua, Bella or Sophia. It took a bit but I found Aqua and waved her over.
"Is something wrong? I saw how you lost control of your powers and almost destroyed the island!" Aqua yelled at me sounding infuriated. Aqua was always blunt with people, whatever was on her mind she would say.
"I don't know what happened Aqua. I just started losing control but I stopped it from hitting Neverland. They told me I had the heart of the truest spirit in me and that's why I can do certain things. Why I can do magic! They also say that's why I can do powerful magic." She didn't seem surprised when I told her that.
"You already knew didn't you Aqua!"
"I thought you knew you had the heart of the truest spirit! Besides that's obviously not why your here, what's wrong?"
"I need a place to hide from Pet... um I mean Pan. I need to get away from him but I don't know where to go that he won't find me!"
Aqua told me to stay there before she hopped down into the sea. I stood there for a while on high alert every noise making me jump. She came back with Bella and someone new with red hair.
"Hello, my name is Ariel. So you need some help?" I nodded my head and she gestured for me to come into the water. I trust Aqua, Bella and Sophia but Ariel? No so much.
"Why? And how can I know I can trust you?"
"You don't but do you have any other choice?" Ariel sounded sincere but so did Aqua when I first met her and she tried to drown me. But she is right, Peter knows every inch of this island, if I want any chance of hiding I have to trust them. I grabbed her hand and was pulled into the water. We swam for a little bit until we reached a little island in the middle of the sea. It was just off the coast of skull rock but was smaller then skull rock itself. And big enough for a person to hide.
The mermaids swam away and left me with my thoughts. So Peter was just using me to stay youthful. Everything that's happened has been a lie. I should have listened to Felix better. He was right Peter isn't what I thought he was. It was almost night so I climbed the only tree on the little island. The branches hurt my back but I ignored it and looked up at the sky. The stars were shining bright and I felt jealous of them. They were free and were able to shine without anyone trying to stop them. They did what they wanted without anyone trying to stop them.
Sleep didn't come easily. My mind kept wandering to Peter. I think he was right. I did have feeling for him, I was just to blind to see them. I felt a tear escape and slid down my face. I felt stupid, how did I not realize any of this!
Sleep eventually came but it wasn't peaceful.
I was conscious in my sleep. I knew I was sleeping and I knew that the dream was taking place in Neverland. I walked along the beach and looking down and I saw I was in a red dress. I shook my head and kept walking with no destination in mind.
"White Lilly Bird." I turned and saw Peter coming from the trees.
"Are you messing with my dreams?" I didn't even need to ask I already knew the answer.
"Where are you White Lilly Bird? I can't find you." He looked bored but his eyes said something different. They looked confused and irritated along with something else that I couldn't pinpoint.
"You're going to have to find me Peter. Because that will be the only way I ever go back."
"I will find you White Lilly Bird and when I do, you will be punished." He snarled and I just laughed at him.
"Why don't you just leave me alone! It says you need to love someone in the Oracle so why not get Wendy! It was probably her in the Oracle anyway!" I snapped back.
"Wendy left the island two years ago. She wanted to grow up and said I wasn't enough reason to stay. It broke my heart but I moved on and now I don't love her, and I don't think I ever can love her again. And you were wrong when you said I don't have feelings for you and that I'm just doing this to stay young. In the beginning yes I didn't want anything to do with you but I guess things change. Please come home my White Lilly Bird." Peter held out his hand and I was tempted to take it but he was still keeping things from me and until I got answers I wasn't going with him.
"Not until you tell me what I want to know Peter." My voice was calm but with the anger on his face you would have thought I yelled at him.
"I will find you and take you back!" With that I woke up. I was breathing heavily but that wasn't what I was worried about. It was my heart that felt like it was being crushed that worried me.
It felt like someone was crushing it and it kept getting worse by the second. A scream erupted from my throat and rang in the silent night. I fell from the tree and staggered over to the water. I still clutched my chest and felt tears streaming down my face. Everything started getting blurry and I collapsed right near the waters edge. I heard someone yell my name. A girl? I didn't care who it was, I just wanted this pain to stop. Another scream left me and then everything went dark.
I was lost somewhere in my head. I was deep in there and I didn't know what to do. There were images everywhere and yet I don't know what they mean. I saw many images of Peter and many of me using magic. But I also saw ones that I have never seen in my life. Some of me laughing, some with me crying. I'm so confused.
I woke up and shot straight up, instantly getting dizzy. After I got my bearings I looked around and saw that I was in a tent. I was back at camp. I got out of bed and went for the door. I tired opening it but it wouldn't budge. Magic. I let out a scream of frustration. I walked to the bed and sat down, knowing that there was no way out.
I don't understand why Peter is doing this! I just want answers to what's happening! Why did my heart try to rip itself apart? Why did I lose control? Who is Wendy and is it her in the Oracle? Did she really break his heart?
Lost in thought I didn't notice Peter in the room watching me. He walked over to the bed sat down beside me and put his arm around me. We didn't say anything just sat there, not wanting to aggravate the other person. But eventually one of us had to speak up and as always it was me.
"Why are you hiding things from me?" I asked and instantly felt him stiffen.
"Because you don't need to know everything."
"I have to know what happened to me! I can't let that happen again."
"I will do my best to answer your questions on one condition."
"What is it?" I felt slightly afraid of what he was going to say but I needed to know.
"You have to promise never to leave. You have to stay here with me. You can't run off to the mermaids or to Tiger Lilly. You stay here. With me." Stay here? With Peter? Forever? The thought made my heart clench a little but I needed answer and even if I ran, I feel like Peter would come after me.
"Alright. Deal. Now why did I lose control? Why did my heart try and rip itself apart?" I felt anxious waiting for the answer but I needed to know.
"Your heart like I said is the heart of the truest spirit. So when you started feeling trapped your heart felt the ultimate agony. And it felt as if death was a better fate then living in a world where it's trapped. You were literally trying to kill yourself."
"But I don't understand I was doing fine before." I had felt trapped the whole time I've been with Peter and I was fine what caused me to finally break?
"Well at first it wasn't as bad you just lashed out in anger more often but I guess after Felix telling you all that stuff it just made you snap."
I saw how Pan was trying so hard. It's weird, he was so awful before and in a way he still is. He tries to hide everything he was from you. Felix's words echoed in my head. What was Peter before? What is he still hiding?
"Peter, he said that you were awful before and that your hiding what you were from me." Peter stiffened again but after a while relaxed slightly.
"I was meaner you could say." He smirked and in that smirk I saw something dark, something I never wanted to see again.
"But I guess I don't have to hide anything from you, since you agreed to stay here no matter what. And you can't break the rules." Some part inside of me feared that I was going to regret ever making this deal with him.
"I'm going to spend the day with you tomorrow so be ready early. White Lilly Bird I have a question for you." I looked at Peter and saw that the darkness had left and was replaced with something new. Like the beginning of a flower in the spring, something new and growing.
"May I stay in here with you?" His voice sounded cocky and arrogant but I felt as if that was an act.
"Alright Peter." I laid down on the bed and Peter did too. His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer. I stiffened at first and heard Peter chuckle but I relaxed after a few minutes.
"Good night Peter."
"Good night my White Lilly Bird."
So I am going to make Peter a little meaner now ;) ANNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDD someone is soon coming to Neverland... someone I don't think White Lilly is going to like...
Please leave a comment if you think I should continue with the story :)