Twisted

by WildHeart22

Clarissa Morgenstern has been in a verbally-and occasionally physically-abusive relationship with her boyfriend, Sebastian Verlac, for over six months now. She's convinced that he is the way he is because he wants her to be better. As long as he loves her, it's alright. Right? But when the Lightwoods move into Clary's school, what happens when Jace is too smart to fall for the act?

10. Chapter 10

I apologize for the longish wait for this chapter :( but soccer started one the 18th an ughhh I'm always so damn tired after practice that I can't properly function until I've had a looong nap.

But here's this chapter, hope you enjoy :)

**possible M-rated material towards the end. I'm not sure if it actually is-I don't think so but just to be safe. I'm not really sure where the lines are drawn between T and M so...

I fell asleep halfway through the second Transformers movie. When I woke up, Jace was still there but a different movie was playing. The clock read one fifty.

"Jace," I said sleepily, drawing his attention. He looked at me with a little smile. "Why are you still here? It's past midnight."

He shrugged. "I wanted to make sure you were okay," he said. He reached over and pushed a strand of hair off of my forehead, his fingers gentle as they brushed against my skin.

It was a softness that I wasn't used to. Sebastian tended to forget I was a person and treat me more like an object than a human. Even when my wrist had been in a splint, he hadn't seemed to realize that I was breakable.

But Jace always treated me like a person. He did things like staying up at two in the morning to make sure I was okay. And he was never rough with me. He was gentle and kind.

I moved over hesitantly, leaning against Jace. He shifted a little, moving his arm so that it was around my shoulders.

"Good thing your brother isn't here. I think he might have slaughtered me if he showed up while you were sleeping," he joked, resting his cheek against the top of my head. I chuckled.

"Yeah, and I probably would have slept through it," I admitted.

I sighed, rubbing the side of my face.

"I hate crying. My face gets all red, my eyes hurt and my head hurts," I complained, closing my aching eyes.

"If you don't like crying, you shouldn't date someone who makes you cry every other day," Jace said, his voice a little colder.

I looked at the ground with a sigh. "He didn't used to," I said quietly. "He used to be the perfect boyfriend. I guess he changed a bit since we started dating," I admitted.

Jace rubbed a hand softly against my shoulder. "He takes advantage of the fact that he has you. He thinks that now he can treat you however he wants because you're already his." Jace's voice had become angry. "And you've let him."

I clenched my jaw against the tears I could feel stinging the back of my eyes. "I know that. But I just need to talk to him. He still loves me, he just, he-" I broke off, unsure what I was trying to say.

For the past week my motto has been 'he loves me, he acts like this because he loves me'. But I knew how foolish and naïve that sounded.

"Why would someone who loves you tell you you're anything but perfect the way you are? Why would they-"

I scoffed, cutting him off. "Please. People aren't perfect, and I definitely don't look perfect. He tells me I'm not perfect because he's honest with me."

"You think that's honesty?" Jace burst out. I flinched at his tone and he sighed, lowering his voice again. "I didn't mean that you're perfect. Nobody is, I know that. But that doesn't mean you're not beautiful, Clary. And he has no right to tell you that you're not good enough for him, that you need to stop eating for him. And he has no right to call you a whore. Loving someone isn't an excuse to be cruel to them, to hurt them or own them. Loving someone is wanting to be around them because of them, of who they are. It's wanting them safe and protected from everyone, including yourself. Especially yourself. Why would you want to hurt someone you love?"

I blinked back tears as I looked up at Jace. "I don't know," I choked out. "I don't know how he thinks."

Jace just held me to him tighter, apparently deciding a change in topic was in order. "On a scale of one to ten, being completely serious, how likely is your brother to kill me if he got back right now?" I laughed quietly.

"Depends on what you'd say if he did. If you immediately stood up and started making excuses, it'd be a ten. If you say that you're here because Seb and I fought and you were being a shoulder to cry on-yeah, never mind. Probably still a ten." Jace's eyes widened a little.

"Oh. Well, that's encouraging. Is there any way I could lower that number to around, you know, a healthier six?" I smiled.

"Maybe if you're not here when he gets home," I admitted.

"Ten it is," he said. I frowned up at him. He shrugged. "I accept my fate. I'm not leaving, so death it is." I rolled my eyes at him.

"You're over dramatic," I pointed out.

He smiled, twisting a strand of my hair around his fingers.

"No, I'm honorable," he argued.

I smiled at him. "Okay. Whatever you say. Seriously though, you probably shouldn't be here when Jon gets home."

He just shrugged. "I'll tell him I was helping you with Spanish," he said, leaning his face down closer to mine.

I didn't move away from him, even though I knew I should. "At two in the morning?" I asked, my voice low. "Why do I get the feeling that won't take the chance of you being murdered down to a 'healthy six'?" Jace gave me a crooked grin.

"It most likely wouldn't. But it would confuse him enough that I have time to run." I laughed, reaching a hand up and resting it on his shoulder.

"Uh-huh," I said with a teasing grin. "You're the definition of honorable right there."

I leaned away from him just long enough to grab my phone. My heart immediately dropped, my smile fading in the blink of an eye.

At the top of my long list of alerts was Sebastian's name with 'missed call (8)' beside it.

He'd called me eight times? Was he crazy? You'd think, after the first, I don't know, three calls he'd have gotten the hint that I didn't want to talk to him.

There was a long list of texts as well. I scoffed as I skimmed over them. Half of them were apologizing and the other half, the most recent ones, were cursing at me for ignoring him.

"Damn, I don't think I've ever even heard that one," Jace commented as he looked over my shoulder at the vulgar words in the messages. I scowled at him and shut the screen on my phone off. "Sorry," he said, holding his hands up in surrender. "I was just curious."

"Nosy is more like it," I muttered. Jace just smirked.

I sighed, putting my phone back where I'd gotten it from. I looked warily at Jace as he looked at his own phone, cursing under his breath. He looked up at me apologetically.

"Izzy is freaking out. She wants to know where I am," he said, trailing off and giving me a questioning look. I frowned.

"So tell her," I said obviously. He raised a light brow at me.

"If I tell Isabelle that I'm at your house at two in the morning, she'll freak."

I sighed. "Would she really be angry?" He looked surprised.

"No. She'd be ecstatic," he said with a chuckle. I gave him a half smile.

"Go ahead and tell her. I don't mind," I said, seeing my phone screen light up again. I scowled and finally reached for it.

I was about to shut it down when I saw that the text I had gotten was from Jon, not Seb. I sighed, looking back to Jace as he texted his sister.

"Jace, Jon just texted. He's going to be back in half and hour. You should probably go." Jace looked reluctant.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" I smiled at him reassuringly.

"I'll have Jon here for me if I'm not," I told him. He still didn't look satisfied.

"But he doesn't know everything," Jace said confidently.

"I never said Jon doesn't know anything," I snapped. Jace narrowed his eyes at me.

"I may not know your brother all that well, but I've seen the way he reacts when someone mistreats you. I know for sure that he doesn't know anything about how Seb treats you. He wouldn't be breathing right now."

I looked at the ground. "Whatever," I muttered. Jace rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"You know I'm right," he said, standing up and stretching his arms up over his head.

I looked up at him before standing myself. "Yeah, well you're not going to be breathing if you don't get out if here in about fifteen minutes," I reminded him. He grimaced.

"Fair enough," he said. We walked to the door together and he put his hand on the knob but was still facing me.

I felt my cheeks blush after a few seconds of an awkward silence. Neither one of us seemed sure what the proper goodbye would be.

Are you supposed to kiss the boy you cheated on your boyfriend with at the end of the night before you send him home? They need to write a manual on this.

Jace finally took the initiative and leaned towards me. For a minute, I thought he was going to kiss me. When he was close to my lips, my eyes fluttered shut, but his lips didn't reach mine. Instead, he pressed them softly to my cheek before pulling away.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said quietly, before turning the knob and letting himself out. He waved once as he got into his car and I raised my hand in a weak wave before stepping out of the doorway, shutting the door and leaning back against it.

As soon as I realized I was alone, I was hit with a wave of apprehension and guilt.

What had I just done? Not just, though. It had been hours ago.

But, no matter the time frame, I had kissed Jace. I hadn't even just allowed him to kiss me. No. I had made the decision, I had leaned in first.

And when I had thought he was going to kiss me, I hadn't moved away. I had actually closed my eyes in anticipation. I groaned, slumping against the door.

I heard my phone ring again-I had turned the sound back on after Jon texted me-and it was like a stab to the chest. It was the ringtone I'd set for Seb.

Whatever Jace said, I had just done exactly what Seb had been accusing me of. I'd proved him right.

Whether our relationship was perfect or not, cheating on him wasn't a solution. Whether I was going to end the relationship or not-as I'd reasoned to myself after I'd first kissed Jace-I should have waited.

Why had I even kissed him? Because he was being nice? Because he cared for me? Magnus was nice, and I knew he cared for me and I wasn't kissing him whenever I got upset. So why was it different with Jace?

I finally stepped away from the door and dropped back onto the couch. I had exaggerated to Jace. He'd still had about twenty minutes before Jon said he would be here. And whenever Jon set a time, I always planned for an extra ten minutes before he actually arrived. He tended to be late.

I'd needed time. I hadn't wanted to see Jace leave, but I needed time to compose myself before my brother came in, or he would be able to tell right away that something was wrong.

I sighed, wondering if I should just go to my room, pretend to be asleep when he gets home. But I knew it was too late for that. I'd responded with a simple 'k' when he told me it'd be half an hour. He knew I was still awake.

I finally decided to actually get up after a few minutes. I could put on a happy face for a few minutes, couldn't I?

That idea ended when I saw the ice cream in the freezer. Screw putting on a happy face. I'm putting on my pissed face. It's Sebastian that cause all this. He wanted to call me a whore? Maybe he deserved it if I acted like one.

Or maybe that was just the gallon of chocolate ice cream talking.

Oh well. It felt good to be angry for once, instead of crying. So I dropped down on the couch and flipped to our Hulu, turning on an episode of Vampire Diaries.

I popped the lid off the new container before jabbing my spoon into the ice cream. I pulled a pillow onto my lap so the container didn't freeze my legs after throwing a blanket over my legs.

I was still viciously stabbing my spoon into the ice cream, shoveling it into my mouth, when the front door opened. Jon came in and looked at me warily when he saw me sitting on the couch.

"Um, you okay, Clare?" He asked, looking concerned. I nodded curtly.

"Fine," I snapped, driving my spoon down again. He looked at me for a second, a dubious look on his face. He didn't seem sure what to say as I turned back to the TV.

I felt as though the ice cream was the best thing I had ever tasted. I hadn't had ice cream in what felt like forever. It's definitely not a healthy choice of a snack. For a second, I froze with my spoon halfway to my mouth.

Why was I eating this? This wasn't going to help me get thinner. Then I grimaced in disgust. Disgust towards myself. Then I shoved the spoonful into my mouth. When did I start thinking like that? When had I started to give up eating things that I loved just to lose weight?

Well, screw losing weight. I refuse to be one of those girls that I never used to understand. Those girls who are so blind to the fact that they're fine the way they are that they don't eat, one of the most important life functions. I refuse to be anorexic.

"Clary, you're going to make yourself sick if you eat that any faster," Jon said worriedly. "Slow down and tell me what's got you so pissed. I swear, if it's Sebastian, I'll kick his ass." I scoffed.

"He's in France. Good luck," I snapped. Jon sighed, dropping his bag on the side table. My phone rang again and I scowled. "Can you shut that thing off?"

He looked wary but did what I asked. He didn't say anything else before walking out to the kitchen. When he came back, he had a spoon with him. He dropped down on the couch next to me and pulled the extra part of the blanket over his legs.

We sat together for three episodes of Vampire Diaries, eating ice cream with my head on his shoulder.

"Are you really okay, Clare?" He asked when the third episode ended. I shrugged, averting my eyes.

"I can't decide whether to be angry or upset," I admitted. Jon chuckled.

"It depends on what happened," he said. "I can help you decide if I know what happened." I sighed, looking up at Jon.

"Sebastian's been being a jerk lately. He keeps picking fights just because I talk to Jace. And I think he's full of crap. Why shouldn't I be allowed to talk to guys? He talks to girls all the time." I left out the part where I had just given him a reason to not want me around Jace. Nobody had to know that.

Jon sighed, kissing the top of my head. "Clary, guys are idiots. Especially when they care a lot about someone. He's just worried that you're going to leave him so he-"

"I've never even thought about it," I argued. "Until this last week," I admitted, looking down at the almost empty container of ice cream.

I heard Jon suck in a breath. I knew why. If Seb and I broke up, how would that impact his and Jon's friendship?

"Clary," he said slowly. "What's this about? Because I know it's got to be more than just him being worried about you talking to other guys."

I glanced down at my wrist. I remembered the splint that had been there before. And the bruising. There wasn't any right now, but I knew that once Sebastian got back it would return. Then I looked at the ice cream. What would Seb do if he saw me eating it? He would tell me that I shouldn't eat for the next few days to make up for it. But he would say it in such a sugary sweet way that I didn't even realize that he was convincing me to starve myself.

I sighed. "I don't know," I lied. "I just...I don't know. Maybe it's just late and I'm tired and still a little upset that we fought earlier." I smiled at him reassuringly and he looked relieved.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." It wasn't the truth, but it was the answer he wanted.

The next day was a whirl of action. Jon and I went to school like normal in the morning, but our emotions were both running high. It should've been for the same reason. But it wasn't.

Jon was excited and anxious because Sebastian was coming back today. I was just anxious that he was coming back. Anxious and kind of terrified. His texts had gotten progressively more angry and less apologetic throughout the night.

And I knew he was coming over after school. And I was scared. It was a bad feeling. I couldn't remember ever being so afraid of him.

And, I was afraid to see Jace. I didn't know how I was supposed to act around him. Was I supposed to pretend we hadn't kissed? He knew he couldn't bring it up in front of anyone, right? My stomach was twisted into a painful knot and I felt like I was going to be sick by the time we got to the school.

Jon must have noticed because when he parked the car, he didn't get out right away. "Clare?" He asked worriedly. "You look like you're going to be sick. Do you want to go back home?" I looked at him and slowly shook my head, smiling weakly.

"No, I'll be fine," I assured him. He didn't look convinced.

"Clary," he started. I sighed.

"Jon, it's nothing. Just nervous about seeing Seb again," I lied. He sighed, giving up.

Magnus met us on the lawn. He ruffled my hair and I scowled at him, dropping the smile I had given when I saw him. Magnus held his hands up in surrender. Jon rolled his eyes.

"She's PMSing," he said offe-handedly. "Ignore her."

"Jonathan Morgenstern," I snapped. He laughed and I saw Magnus grin.

"Well, it explains your ice cream and Vampire Diaries marathon last night," he defended. "And you looked like you were going to be sick earlier. Cramps," he reasoned. I looked at him incredulously as Magnus laughed.

"Why can't you be like normal guys and never want to talk about this? Every other guy I know would rather gouge their eyes out with a spoon than talk about this. Hell, Sebastian is scared to death of the word 'tampon'. Yet you sit here and tell me that I'm on my period. Jeez, forget what I know about my body. I'm just going to ask Jon when my period is next time." I saw Jon and Magnus both struggle to hold in their laughter. They both failed and ended up doubled over, their shoulders shaking.

"Well, that's a little odd." I looked up at the sky, completely giving up.

"I quit," I groaned. I turned to look at Jace. "You and your sister both come into the conversation at the worst times." Then I scowled at the two boys who were still tying to compose themselves. "You two saw him there," I hissed suddenly. "That's why you're laughing so hard!" Jon grinned.

"Sorry, sis. It was too good to spoil by telling you he was there." I sighed.

"Jerk," I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. Jon frowned.

"Oh, come on, Clare. We're just teasing," he said, walking over and pulling me into an unwilling bear hug. I grunted, trying to push him off of me.

"Get away from me, you disgusting creature." He just laughed. He didn't let me go until I hugged him back. When he stepped away, I swatted his chest irritably. "I don't like you anymore." Jon rolled his eyes.

"Okay. Guess you don't get your birthday present," he taunted. I narrowed my eyes.

Jace chuckled when I didn't say anything. I scowled at him from the corner of my eyes. "Not funny," I said to all three of the boys. Jon just smirked. All of them stared at me, waiting for me to speak.

I sighed. This was going to hurt.

"I'm sorry, Jon. I don't hate you," I apologized through gritted teeth. He raised a brow tauntingly.

"And...?" I scowled.

"What do you mean 'and'? I apologized, didn't I?" Jon just raised a brow. I groaned.

"And, you're the best brother in the world, and I love you?"

"There ya go," he said, ruffling my hair. I scowled at him but didn't say anything.

He chuckled as I began to walk away.

"I do believe I've injured her pride," he joked. I heard Magnus and Jace chuckle. I flipped them off over my shoulder, to their immense amusement.

Jace was still chuckling when he caught up to me.

I scowled at him out of the corner of my eyes. He just kept grinning. "You two are funny," he commented. I huffed.

"He likes to think he is," I responded. Jace just shook his head, letting it go.

"You didn't tell me your birthday is coming up." I looked at him fully now, frowning as we walked towards the school building.

"Should I have?"

"Uh, yeah," he said obviously. "How was I supposed to get you anything if Jon hadn't just mentioned it? Your birthday is Sunday!" I looked at him in surprise.

"What do you mean? You don't need to. You've only known me for a little bit," I pointed out.

He just shook his head. "I'm getting you something," he said determinedly. I just sighed in resignation. Partly, because it didn't seem like I would be able to convince him otherwise, and partly, because I was curious to see what he would get me.

We walked through the halls until we reached my locker. He stopped with me and I looked at him oddly.

"What?" He asked defensively.

"What..." I trailed off, searching for a way to phrase my question. "Why are you acting like this?"

Jace raised a brow at me, leaning against the locker beside mine. "Like what?"

"Like...I don't know, like we're dating. You want to buy me a present, you're walking to my locker with me." He chuckled.

"I've seen you walk to your locker with Magnus. And I'm sure he's getting you a preset for your birthday." I twisted my mouth to the side, having no argument for that. He leaned towards me so that he could speak low enough not to be overheard. "If you think I'm only acting like this because of last night, you're wrong. I would've acted the same way around you whether you'd kissed me or not." I blushed, looking at the ground. "And I understand if you regret it," he added quietly. I saw him looking away this time, his face tight as if in pain. "Just tell me, so I don't get my hopes up. I know you were upset and I won't blame you."

I looked at him in shock for a moment, completely blanking. I had no idea how to respond to that. I stuttered for a moment before going silent again. Jace gave me a calming smile.

"I feel awful," I finally blurted out. "You're so nice to me and you always know what to say and I've got no idea what should come out of my mouth or what might because I have no filter and no thought process and I have no idea what to say right now." Jace's brows had raised through my outburst and he chuckled, looking away from me.

"Take your time. Just give yourself some time to think about it, okay? I'll be here for you, whatever you decide." I nodded slowly and he smiled, resting his hand on my shoulder for a second before turning and walking back the way we'd come.

I banged my head against my locker door once before leaving it there, my eyes closed. What was wrong with me? Why can't I do anything right?

"Biscuit? You okay?" I looked up at Magnus for a second before dropping my head back to my locker. I nodded, muttering a 'fine'.

Then I bit my lip. Out of every one of my friends, I was sure that Magnus would be most likely to keep a secret if I needed him too. And he was good at advice.

I looked at him warily. "If I tell you something, will you swear not to tell anyone else? And I mean, really swear. Like you can't tell anyone. It could destroy everything worse than I already have." He gave me a completely serious look.

"Of course. I swear, I won't tell a soul." I swallowed thickly.

"You're sure? No matter what?" His brows were furrowed together in concern.

"Clary, what's wrong?" Then his eyes widened and he leaned towards me. "Are you pregnant?"

"No!" I shouted quickly. Then I sighed. "At least it's not that bad," I said, feeling a little relieved.

That would probably be the worst thing I could've told him-at this age at least-and he'd still whispered. So maybe he wouldn't start shrieking if I told him what Jace and I had done.

Magnus looked a little relieved. "Good. I'm too young and beautiful to be a godparent." I chuckled, then got serious again.

"I think you might hate me after I tell you this," I said, tugging on a handful of my hair stressfully. Magnus looked worried.

"Hate you?" He was cut off by the warning bell. "Clary, no matter what, I wouldn't hate you." I bit my lip and turned to my locker, opening it quickly.

"Never mind. I-It's nothing." I gave him a weak smile. "It's just a little thing. I'm overreacting." He looked disbelieving.

"After all that? No, there's something going on, Clary. What is it?"

"I have to get to class." I grabbed my books, shut my locker and almost sprinted down the hall, Magnus calling my name after me.

All through English, my mind was wandering. I couldn't focus on the teacher, who was assigning us the romance project today. Towards the end of class, I felt a hand on my arm. I looked over to Izzy, blinking myself out of my haze. "What?" I asked her.

She gave me a concerned look. "I asked if we were still partnering up for this. We're supposed to get with our partner." I nodded quickly

"Of corse. Sorry, I was distracted."

"I noticed," she said with a frown. "Are you okay?" I nearly cursed aloud. I was slipping today. My emotional state wasn't allowing me to hide anything.

"Yeah," I said with a fake smile. "I'm fine." She didn't look convinced.

"You're a shitty actress." I blinked at how blunt she was.

"Um. Thanks?" She sighed.

"I'm sorry. But I know something's up." She looked at me knowingly.

"Jace told you, didn't he?" She raised a brow. I groaned.

"You think he'd know what to keep secret. You can't tell anyone about it, okay?"

"Of corse," she said. "But I don't see why it's so important-"

"Because of Sebastian," I whispered, looking around to make sure nobody was paying attention. "If he found out that Jace and I kissed-"

"You WHAT?" Izzy shrieked, sitting up straight in her seat. My jaw dropped.

"You said you knew!"

"Ladies! Is there something you want to share with the class?"

"No," I squeaked, seeing Isabelle still staring at me with an open mouth. The teacher didn't look convinced, but went back to her desk anyway.

"That's not what I knew," she said, her brown eyes wide. "You two kissed?" I bit my lip, feeling fear build up in my chest.

"You can't tell anyone," I pleaded. "Please."

"You aren't broken up with Sebastian?" I shook my head.

"No. I-we fought last night right before Jace came over. I was crying and he was talking to me and..." I trailed off, looking at the ground.

"He kissed you? Really? When you were that upset? That doesn't sound like him." We were both whispering and I kept looking around to make sure nobody was listening. They were all chatting loudly with their partners. We weren't even noticeable.

"No. I kissed him," I admitted. Isabelle grinned.

"You like him!" I blushed, looking around again.

"I don't know. Either way, I'm still dating Sebastian." She looked crestfallen, which surprised me.

"You don't have to be," she said. "Date Jace." I frowned.

"You're telling me to date your brother?"

"Yeah, why not? He's funny and nice and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Last week you were telling me that your brothers were assholes." She shrugged.

"They are until you get to know them. Do you really think Jace is an asshole now that you've gotten to know him?" I sighed and she smiled, knowing she'd won that one.

"No. Of corse he's not. Maybe if he was, I wouldn't feel bad about everything." Izzy looked confused.

"Everything?" I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"He asked me today if I regretted it, and I didn't give him an answer. I couldn't. I didn't know what I was thinking, let alone what I could say. I still don't know what I'm thinking."

"Do you love Sebastian?" I blinked at her in surprise.

"What does that have to do-"

"Do you?"

"I-of course I do. He's my boyfriend." She shook her head, her hair slipping over her shoulder.

"No. Don't think about what you should say or what you would say if he asked. Say what you feel towards him." I frowned.

Did I love Sebastian? I know that I did at some point, but do I still? After the way he'd been treating me lately?

"I don't know," I said with a sigh. Isabelle looked at me sadly.

"You shouldn't. After what he's done to you-"

"What do you mean?" I asked sharply. I saw her freeze for a second. I could see the same look on her face that I'd had moments before. The 'oh no. I shouldn't have said that' look. I'd become way too familiar with it in the past week.

"Uh, I uh..." She finally sighed in resignation. "It's what Jace told me that I thought you were talking about. He told me that Sebastian treats you like crap. He said you don't eat because of him, which is so stupid because you're just skin and bones and if you lose any more weight, you're just going to waste away." I blinked, taking a moment to process what she'd said. She'd said it all in one big rush and it was hard to comprehend. But I got the basic gist of it.

"He told you that?" She bit her lip.

"Don't be angry with him. He tells me everything. And I pretty much forced it out of him. And I already knew there was something up with you two-"

"That doesn't matter," I said sharply. "He should have known not to tell you something like that. It's personal and I shouldn't have even told him. And you know what," I continued, my voice raising a little above the whisper it'd been. "I DIDNT tell him. I told him I didn't eat much because I wanted to be thinner. Have either of you stopped to think that maybe it has nothing to do with Sebastian?" Before she could respond, the bell rang.

How's that for perfect luck? I hadn't had a lot if that lately and I was thankful for it now. I stood up quickly and stormed from the room. For the second time that day, I ignored the person calling my name behind me.

I got to Spanish early since I'd kept up a fast pace throughout the walk there. I was the first one in and Mr. Whitelaw raised his brows at me.

"Early today, Clarissa," he commented. I just nodded, smiling politely and hoping he would leave me alone. I wasn't in the mood today to pretend to be cheerful with the teachers. He had other ideas.

"How has your tutoring been going? Has Jace's help been valuable?"

I smiled. "Yeah. I think I'm getting the hang of that RID thing." He nodded enthusiastically.

"Good, good. So, are you ready for the test on Tuesday?" I cringed inside but nodded outside.

Just tell him what he wants to hear and he'll leave you alone...

"I'm pretty confident about it."

"Good." Just then, more students began to trickle in. Thank god!

But that also meant that Jace would be in soon. And I still had no idea what I was going to say to him. I scowled at the far wall, everything I could say rushing through my mind. Finally, I gave up. Screw it, I would wing it.

When he finally came in, he was wary. He sat down slowly, watching me like someone might watch a dog that was prone to bite.

"Hi," he said, a bit meekly. I bit my tongue, looking down at my binder.

Okay, maybe just winging it wouldn't be wise since what I'd almost said was a big 'eff you'.

"Hi," I snapped back, still not looking at him. I heard him sigh.

"Clary," he started. I turned to him finally, my eyes sparking angrily.

"Did she warn you?" He nodded slowly, looking apologetic.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Don't even start with the apologies, Jace," I snapped quickly. "I told you the things I did in confidence, expecting you to know how to keep it to yourself. How would you like if I told Jon what your names are about, Jonathan?" I saw his eyes flash as I used that name. I continued before he could say anything. "That was the deal wasn't it? Question for a question, secret for a secret? You turned around and spilled mine and then I told you more, thinking I could trust you. And now I have to trust you with the secret that could ruin my relati-" suddenly, there was a hand clapped over my mouth. Jace's golden eyes were hard as he leaned towards me.

"Do you really want to spill that secret here?" His eyes, although angry, were urging me to remain quiet as he removed his hand from my mouth.

I looked around, my cheeks bright and hot as I realized that every student in the room was watching us openly. Even Mr. Whitelaw was watching, although he was pretending not to. He had a tiny smile on his face as he noticed me watching him.

Sadist.

I slunk down in my seat, shooting Jace one last nasty look before looking down at the paper Mr. Whitelaw was handing out.

If there had been any prior doubt that he was a sadist, it was gone now. The headline for the paper?

RID PARTNER PROJECT

Needless to say, I was a bit angry by the time I made it to science.

Raphael immediately started in on me when I made it to our lab station.

"Hey, Sweetheart," he greeted, winking at me. I made a disgusted noise in the back of my throat, turning away from the dark-skinned boy.

"Giving me the cold shoulder again, are you?"

I scowled at him. "I'm not in the mood," I growled.

He chuckled richly, leaning across the table towards me. "Wanna talk about it?"

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "If I wanted to talk about my feelings, I would go to a therapist. Not some scumbag with a crooked nose," I said pointedly.

He screwed his face up in anger, reaching a hand towards my arm.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" I asked, my voice deadly. His hand froze in the air between us.

His lips were twisted up in a challenging smirk. "Oh, I'm sure." Then his fingers wrapped around my wrist, jerking me towards him.

When I was pulled into his chest, I immediately shoved him away from me. He fingers didn't loosen their hold on my wrists, but I had created space between us.

"Get your hands off of me." When he didn't move, I lashed out with a leg, smashing my flip-flop clad foot into his shin.

He winced slightly, but chuckled as I did the same. I scowled at him.

"I'm giving you one last opportunity to leave me alone before I leave this class right now and go get Jon from his English class."

"And how are you going to leave if I don't let you go?"

I was at a loss as he tugged me closer, nearly knocking me off my feet with the force.

"Get away from her, Raphael," I heard someone say, the voice sounding tired. "Do you really want Morgenstern and Verlac on your ass?" The boy's dark eyes skipped over my shoulder towards the voice, anger burning in them even as he released his fingers from their death grip on my wrists.

I stumbled back immediately, my eyes and cheeks burning in humiliation as I realized that the entire class was staring at us. I was trembling as I raised a hand, prepared to slap Raphael across the face. Suddenly, just as I started to swing my hand, another larger one had grabbed it, pulling it down to my side.

"Don't," the voice said. "You'll just get into more trouble. The asshole's not worth it."

I turned my back on Raphael, the reason behind the boy's words swirling around in my head. It was the only thing I could latch onto. Any other thought was purely instinctual reaction. I was running on basic survival instinct, my mind beginning to become fuzzy as spots appeared before my eyes, blocking me from seeing who the boy was. When he spoke, his voice was warped as though underwater.

"...you okay?" I didn't respond, no longer able to see anything. My mind was running slowly.

I barely processed the sting in my knees as I hit the tiled floor of the science room, hearing the horrified cries of other students as I hit the ground. I didn't register any pain in my head and wondered vaguely if someone had caught it.

"...Jonathan?" I tuned into the sounds around me in time to hear my brother's name.

"Call him," I heard someone say, a moment of clarity among the chaotic numbness in my brain.

Then I succumbed to an odd feeling. I could no longer see or feel or hear anything going on around me, although I was certain I hadn't closed my eyes.

I wasn't really unconscious in the sense that I didn't feel as though I was sleeping. I wasn't asleep. I was just numb to everything around me, unaware.

A part of me rejoiced in this sudden freedom. I didn't have to worry about anything, nobody was stressing me out or lying to me or hurting me. But another part of me was terrified to be stuck with my thoughts.

Everything was tearing me in separate directions. I wanted to linger over Jace, over Seb, over everything. But my mind could only give my full attention to one thing.

So I picked one, settling on Jace. I imagined him standing before me, his beautiful eyes shining in the sun, his lips turned up in a sincere smile as he looked on at me fondly. His chipped tooth, an incisor, was endearingly visible when he smiled like that.

Jace, I thought longingly. The boy who cared more about me than my own boyfriend, the one who was so observant that he noticed things my own brother never could have. I remembered suddenly that I was supposed to be angry with him. But for what? A silly little thing. All he'd done was exactly what I would have were our positions reversed.

He told his closest friend, the person he could trust most. Would I have kept it secret if he was in my position? I brushed that question away. It was a pointless thought. He'd never be in my position. He's too smart and too strong to end up where I was.

But he's also gorgeous, which would help protect him from where I was. He has no reason to be anything but overconfident. He doesn't have to wonder if he's good enough or if he looks good, because he always does.

So how would he understand? How would the most perfect person on the planet understand the worries of someone who was completely ordinary?

It was like expecting a king to understand why his servants were unhappy with the world.

And dating Sebastian was like living under a king as well. He called the shots, he set the rules.

He talked to me how he wanted and treated me how he wanted. He sat up on his golden throne with me bowed at his feet like a slave. And I did whatever he wanted like one.

If I'd been conscious, I would've laughed at the irony. Even though I was part of perhaps one of the highest social classes in this town, I was a slave in my own life and relationship.

How had that happened?

Jon would shove my head in a toilet if he knew how I let his best friend treat me. After he killed him, of course.

But what could I do about it? I hadn't even really realized anything was wrong until Jace came into the picture. How could I explain where my sudden volatile change in feelings without making it seem like I was only feeling that way because of Jace? And how could I possibly explain to Jon why Seb and I broke up without breaking their friendship up?

I knew that no matter what I did, I couldn't tell Jon anything that would make him hate Sebastian. I couldn't break up their friendship. It wouldn't be fair for Jon to lose his best friend because of me.

Was I really thinking of leaving Sebastian anyway? He had his faults, but so did everyone. Maybe if I stopped acting like a slave, he would stop treating me like one. And maybe if I didn't act like a whore, he would be able to trust me for once.

That brought my thoughts back to Jace, making a complete circle. Why had I kissed him? Did I feel something for him? That was a stupid question. Of course I did. He was ridiculously attractive, sweet and funny. And he was taking an interest in me, which thrilled me. To have a guy as amazing as him pursuing me? Shit, that was every teenage girl's dream.

And he'd been so caring last night when he saw I was upset. He'd genuinely seemed to want to make sure I was okay.

But why? There was an instant distrust problem that had been shoved to the back of my mind last night. Why was Jace so interested in me? I couldn't understand what drew him to me. Sebastian had known me for so long as Jon's little sister that I guess he'd grown to love me as his girlfriend, but Jace had only known me for about a week and I'd been kind of a psycho chick the whole time. So why was he chasing me when he could turn around and get any other girl in the school?

What was so special about me?

Was it only because I had a boyfriend? Because I was a challenge?

But that couldn't be it. Jace was better than that. He wouldn't use someone for his own personal gain.

I felt a detached sort of pain in my chest when I realized that I was the one using Jace. I'd kissed him because I was upset, because I'd wanted to feel that someone cared about me. I'd been hurting and I wanted someone to make me stop hurting or to at least distract me from it.

And I was being a hypocrite as well. I had yelled at Jace for spilling about Seb and I while I had been the one to tell Izzy about our kiss. Which secret was more important? Clearly, the kiss could be disastrous if it got out. I had spilled the bigger secret but I had yelled at him. I'd pushed the blame onto him just like Sebastian always did to me.

I had to apologize. I wouldn't act like Sebastian and I wouldn't make Jace think I was like him.

I didn't want anybody to think I was like him.

As it turned out, I was only out for a few minutes-not even long enough for them to get me to the nurse's office. I woke to a feeling of being jostled around in the air. Not a comfortable feeling to wake up to, let me tell you.

I shifted lethargically, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Stop it, before I drop you." I stopped moving, peeking my eyes open and looking up.

"Jon," I said, equally relieved and disappointed.

A part of me was glad it was my brother who was carrying me down an empty hallway but another part of me wanted to know who had been in the science room that had made Raphael back off.

Jon smiled down at me and I shifted again, trying to get him to put me down. He shook his head.

"Nope. If you're going to pass out in class, I'm carrying you to the nurse. You're not allowed to walk." I scowled at him.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," he confirmed. I scoffed in irritation and he looked at me seriously.

"Clare, what happened? You've never fainted before. What was that?" I looked away, sure that the concern in his eyes would start to cause me physical pain if I looked at it any longer.

When I turned away, I saw that we were stepping into the nurse's office. Mrs. Branwell immediately stood up when she saw us.

"What happened?" She asked, her eyes a little wide.

"She passed out in science," Jon explained shortly. "That's all I know. The teacher had one of the students call my teacher to have me go get her."

The nurse nodded, her eyes no longer so wide. "Sit her down over there," she instructed, gesturing to one of the little beds against the wall. I frowned.

"I'm fine. I don't feel like I'm going to faint again," I assured them. The nurse shook her head, her brown hair falling a little out of its bun.

"It doesn't matter. I need to be sure your blood sugar isn't down for some reason and figure out what caused you to faint. You don't have any history of it?" Jon set me down on one of the beds, sitting down next to me himself.

"No, she's never fainted before," Jon answered. I scowled at him again.

"I can answer for myself," I snapped. He raised a brow at me.

"Well, have you?"

"No," I muttered. He smirked a little, ruffling my hair.

"What exactly happened? Do you have any idea why you fainted?" Mrs. Branwell asked, grabbing a towel and running water from the sink over it. I shook my head and then winced when I felt the room spin again. Jon put a hand on my shoulder, keeping me upright as I got my balance back.

"What the hell?" Jon asked, his voice raising slightly in worry. "Did you just almost pass out again?"

"No," I said quickly. "I just got a little dizzy. I shook my head too fast." He narrowed his eyes at me but didn't say anything as the nurse reached over and handed me the damp towel.

"Put this on your forehead and lay back." I did as she said, kicking Jon playfully when he didn't move quickly enough.

He pulled a chair over from in front of the desk and set it next to my bed, the nurse shooting him a disapproving look. She turned back to me without saying anything about it. "Walk me through what was going on before you fainted."

I sighed, knowing Jon would be pissed as I remembered Raphael's taunts. "My lab partner was being a jerk. He kept taunting me and he grabbed me by the wrist and-"

"Who?" Jon practically snarled. I looked at him calmly, hoping he could remain clam as well.

"Raphael."

"That little son of a bitch! I'll snap his scrawny ass neck for the way he's been talking to you. Nobody treats my little sister like that." He stood up angrily, shoving a hand through his hair. For a second, I thought that he was going to leave me to go beat Raphael to a pulp. Then, he sighed and fell back into the chair, grabbing my free hand. "I'll kill him later," he said, squeezing my hand. "For now, I'll stay here."

I smiled at him thankfully. I wouldn't admit it out loud-I would sound like a child-but I wanted my big brother with me right then.

"You injured yourself in a fight with him just last week didn't you?" She asked, looking suspicious. I frowned.

"Yeah. I don't get along with him." She sighed, resting her hands on her hips and stepping forward to stand beside me.

"Okay. So, he was provoking you? He was making you angry?" I nodded.

"He grabbed me by the wrists and wouldn't let me go." Realization dawned in her eyes.

"You were afraid then," she said with a twist of her mouth. I went to argue but she gave me a stern look and I sighed. Fine, I had been a tiny but afraid when I realized that he had no plans to let me go. But only a tiny bit. "Your emotions were running high because you were angry and scared. Has anything else happened recently that would cause your emotions to become unstable?" I bit my lip and shook my head.

"Bull," Jon snapped instantly. "You've been arguing with Sebastian all week and last night you were watching Vampire Diaries marathons and eating an entire tub of ice cream. Calling you emotionally stable would be like calling Hitler a really nice guy." I scowled at him.

"How about you mind your own business," I growled back. "I'm more stable than you'll ever be."

I heard a low chuckle from the doorway of the nurse's office and looked up. "She's got you there, Jon," Isabelle said. I frowned a little.

"What are you doing here?" She smiled.

"Making sure you're okay. I heard that you fainted." I sighed.

"I freaking hate the rumor mill in this school." The nurse cleared her throat to draw our attention, her eyes on me again.

"Fainting, or a syncope, could be caused by a lot of things. What I'm betting on is that it was a combination of things in your case. Your emotions were running high and you were afraid of Raphael. It could also be a nutrition problem. A lot of teenagers tend to skip breakfast. Did you eat anything this morning?" I frowned.

"No." She nodded.

"And you haven't had lunch yet. Did you have dinner last night?"

"Nothing other than some ice cream," I admitted. She narrowed her eyes.

"Yes. That could definitely induce a fainting spell. Lack of nutrition as well as emotional stress isn't your body's idea of healthy." I scowled down at my lap. I'd gone days without eating anything before. Why would I suddenly faint now? Maybe it really was all the fighting with Sebastian.

Now he was screwing with my health along with my mind.

"Could you two leave the room for a moment? I need to talk to Clary in privacy." I looked up in surprise along with Jon and Isabelle.

"What do you mean? Why do you need to talk to her in private? Is something wrong?" She rolled her eyes at him.

"Nothing wrong. Just a few questions about something she would surely not wish to talk about in front of her brother. Or any male for that matter." My cheeks heated up as Jon grimaced.

"Okay, I get it. Tampon talk. Time to make an exit." He kissed me on the forehead.

"I'll see you at lunch, okay?" I nodded and he left the room, Isabelle right behind him. I turned to the nurse.

"I'm not on my period right now, if that's what you need to know," I said quickly, trying to end this conversation as soon as possible.

She chuckled. "Don't worry. We don't really need to talk about that. I just figured it was the easiest way to clear a room." She sat down in the chair my brother had vacated, leaning back as though she'd been putting up a professional front for Jon.

"Then...what do we need to talk about?" I asked warily. She sighed, her warm smile slipping a little as she rested one of her hands over mine.

"Hon, I need you to be honest with me, okay? If you lie then I'm going to have to have tests run that don't need to happen to make sure there's nothing wrong with you that could have caused you to faint. So you'll be honest with me, right? If the answer to my next question is yes, you need to tell me." I nodded warily.

"I'll tell the truth. I don't want another trip to the hospital." She nodded.

"Okay. I'm not going to sugar coat it. I need to know if you starve yourself." My lips parted in surprise and I felt myself pale.

I had to be honest, but how could I be honest about this? She would tell my parents, she would tell the school, my doctors. She would tell Jon. If Jon found out...I didn't even want to think about that. He would be so disappointed, so angry.

Mrs. Branwell rested a hand on my forearm comfortingly. "I promise that I won't tell anyone. I just need to know so I know if you need any extra tests." I looked away with a sigh.

"You wouldn't believe me if I tried to deny it now anyway, would you?" She chuckled a little.

"Sorry, Hon. You kind of gave it away when you didn't answer."

I heard a knock suddenly on the doorframe and looked up in panic. Someone had just heard that conversation.

The nurse looked panicked as well as she looked up to the student standing there. She gave me an apologetic look, her eyes wide. I just sighed, smoothing my surely crazy hair down. "He already knew," I said, my gaze flickering to Jace's golden one before skipping away again.

She let out a relived sigh. "Phew. I didn't want to break my promise," she explained. "But sweetie, you need to talk to someone about this. I know how hard it is to be a teenager in this age. You've got so much you're expected to live up to and so many impossible standards. But you're a beautiful girl and starving yourself doesn't do a thing but make you sick. And, if anything, it's taking away your beauty." I looked at her in shock. She gave me a sympathetic look. "You're gaunt, Hon. Like a skeleton. Just flesh and bones. And I know you may not believe me, but you'd be so much prettier if you were to gain some weight. Get some meat on your bones. You've got the body to have beautiful curves but you're so underweight that they disappear. You're beautiful but you'd be so much more so if you were healthy. And I know you probably don't believe anything I've said. God, I know how long it took me to believe it." She paused as I looked at her in surprise. She smiled a little sadly. I noticed for the first time how frail she appeared. She had the face of someone young, around twenty, but I'd always thought she was so much older because of how prominent her bones were. "I didn't believe anyone until it was too late to fix it. Once you reach a certain point, your body can never put enough muscle back on to look healthy. Don't ruin your body for the rest of your life just because of a few cruel kids today." I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up at Jace.

"And you, young man," Mrs. Branwell began sternly. "You need to help her. By letting her continue like this, knowing what's going on, you're acting just as cruelly as whoever-or whatever-has been convincing her that she's not good enough." I saw his eyes widen before they dimmed. He looked at the floor.

I felt my eyes sting slightly at the shame burning in the depths of his golden orbs. Jace hadn't done anything wrong. He wasn't like Sebastian.

His eyes met mine and I saw determination swirl to the forefront, pushing the shame back. "I know. And I refuse to be like that." His words were in response to the nurse, but I felt more as though he was saying it to me. "I promise."

Mrs. Branwell made me rest for a few more minutes before allowing me to leave with Jace. We had our next class together anyway. History. She made me swear that I would eat something at lunch and she made him swear that he would make me if I didn't.

Jace's hand remained on my shoulder when we walked to class as though he was worried I would pass out again. "I'm sorry," he finally said when we were halfway there, stopping me and turning me to face him. "I shouldn't have told Izzy about that. It was your business and I had no right to tell her. But I tell Izzy and Alec everything. But I can't talk to Alec about you-I think he would actually puke if he had to listen to me talk about a girl. So I told Izzy everything. I just-I was upset about it and I needed to talk to someone. But she promised me on the first day I met you that she wouldn't tell anyone anything that I said about you. She said, and I quote, 'I ship you two too much to risk letting her boyfriend ruin everything'." I couldn't help a small laugh at that.

"That sounds like Isabelle," I agreed. He gave me an award winning smile.

"So, do you forgive me?" I shook my head and smiled at the panic on his face.

"There's nothing to forgive you for," I assured him. "I was being stupid and I was being a hypocrite. I mean, I accidentally spilled to her about...you know, last night. So I really can't be mad at you. And I shouldn't have been even before that. It was stupid. I tell Jon everything. Why should I expect you and Isabelle to be any different?"

He sighed, relieved. "So, I'm assuming you still need some time to think about...it. Since you've spent this time being angry with me, that is." I smiled sheepishly.

"Time would be nice. I mean, I've come to a few conclusions but I haven't really decided anything." He looked interested.

"Care to share the conclusions you've come to?" I bit my lip then shrugged.

I might as well be honest about my thoughts. Maybe he could even help me sort them out.

"I've realized that Sebastian doesn't treat me right. And Jon would probably kill me if he knew I let him treat me like he does." Jace smirked a little.

"I think he'd kill Sebastian, not you." I looked at him wearily.

"You've never seen Jon when he's angry. He'd be on a war path. I've also decided that maybe if I stopped letting him treat me badly, he would stop trying to," I said, looking into his eyes to get his honest opinion. It wasn't a good one.

"Clary, a guy like Sebastian doesn't need your permission to treat you wrong. He'll do it whether you 'let him' or not. He's a dick and he'll always be a dick, and dicks treat other people like dicks."

"I think you just used the word 'dick' more times in one sentence than I have in my entire life." He gave me a lopsided grin.

"You've said the word dick less than four times in you life?" I blushed.

"I don't know. But that was a lot of repetition and I don't swear a lot," I defended. Jace smiled.

"I know. And I think it's sweet. I'm so used to swearing from hearing it so much growing up that I do it all the time. I know I shouldn't but it's a habit," he said with a shrug. "I wish I had your control." My cheeks heated again and I diverted my eyes.

"Seb hates it. He says it's like dating a six year old sometimes." I heard Jace sigh.

"How about we pull the conversation away from him? You always get upset when you talk about him. And you look away, hide your eyes. And I love seeing your eyes." I flushed but looked up at him through my lashes.

He smiled and I couldn't help a small one in return, picking my head up fully.

"What do you want to talk about?" He looked thoughtful.

"What about the rest of your conclusions? Did you make any about me?"

The blush that had finally began to fade returned and Jace smirked, moving to lean his shoulder against the lockers. I copied his movement so that I was facing him in the empty hallway.

"I came to the conclusion that I have feelings for you," I blurted out before I could talk myself out of it. He grinned, his eyes sparkling happily. "And you're a good kisser." My eyes widened when I said the last part. I definitely hadn't meant to say that. I covered my mouth with my hand as I saw his grin grow.

"Oh, I'm a good kisser?" He took a step towards me so that there was only a few inches between our chests. He leaned his face down, making me freeze as his lips lowered to my ear. "How about I remind you just how good I am?"

My breath froze in my chest as he pulled his lips away from my ear, his eyes burning into mine. He lowered his face to mine and stopped when our lips were just millimeters apart.

I shuddered slightly in anticipation, my eyes half closed. "What are you waiting for?" I whispered, feeling as though all the butterflies in the world were congregating in my stomach. He chuckled and his warm breath fanned over my lips. I was nearly shaking, desperate for him to close the distance between us.

"I'm waiting for you to breath," he responded, reaching up and resting a hand against the side of my neck, his lips turned up in a smirk. I let out a shaky breath before taking another in. He breathed out teasingly once more before closing the distance between our lips.

I gasped quietly as his warm lips brushed mine. I leaned up on my toes, pressing us together more firmly. He made a satisfied noise in the back of his throat as he moved his lips against mine, his other hand moving up to press against my lower back and pulling us flush against each other.

I felt my cheeks flush at the contact but didn't pull away. I looped my arms up around his neck, loving the feel of his body against mine. His lips were soft but firm, his hand burying itself in my hair.

He turned us suddenly, making the world spin around us. I felt my back press up against cool metal as he pushed me up against the lockers, gently enough that it didn't hurt or make any noise.

I tangled my fingers in his golden curls, tugging gently. He groaned into my mouth, his tongue running along my bottom lip. I parted my lips for him and would've collapsed if he wasn't holding me up against the lockers as his tongue slipped into my mouth, muffling my moan.

I felt him grin, knowing exactly what he was doing to me. In retaliation, I shifted slightly, moving my hips sharply. He groaned again, his hand tightening where it rested on my hip. He pressed himself more firmly against me and I gasped into his mouth as the bulge in his pants pressed against me.

He pulled his mouth from mine, inhaling sharply. Our chests were heaving as we stared at each other, still pressed together so tightly that our lips were now the only parts of us that weren't touching.

He rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes as he breathed heavily. I tilted my head back, bringing my lips back to his. He pulled away and I frowned in disappointment, pouting slightly. He groaned, turning his eyes away.

"Unless you want me to take you right here in the hallway, we're going to need to slow down," he said, his eyes dark as he looked down at me. A shudder ran down my spine at his words. He smirked suddenly before leaning down to whisper in my ear. "Do you like dirty talk, Clary? That's another thing I'm good at, if you want a sample of that too." His teeth grazed against my ear and my knees buckled beneath me. Jace chuckled, pressing himself even tighter to me to make sure I didn't fall.

I let out a shaky breath, leaning my head back against the locker behind me. I felt as thought the temperature had increased to approximately that of a desert within just a few minutes. Jace made a trail of kisses down my neck until he reached my collar bone, nipping at it teasingly.

"Jace," I groaned, my fingers digging into his shoulders.

I hadn't had a kiss like this since I first started dating Sebastian. More than half a year ago.

Jace laughed breathily, finally taking a step back from me. He looked down at me with eyes that were dark with lust as I struggled to get my heart rate and breathing under control.

I felt my cheeks heat up when I realized that all that had just taken place in a completely public area. Somebody could have walked by at any moment and seen that. I looked around guiltily but nobody was around. I looked back at Jace, who smirked at me.

"You look like you've never kissed anyone before, your cheeks are so red. Is it because we were just in a fairly compromising situation in a public place?" I just looked at him, blinking slowly as I tried to force the flush from my cheeks. He laughed again and I finally scooped enough of the mush that my mind had become into a pile to swat at his chest.

"You know, you seemed pretty worked up too," I pointed out, my eyes flickering to the waist of his jeans. His lips turned up on one side in my favorite lopsided smile.

"Hmm," he agreed, reaching a hand up to brush a strand of my hair back. "Hard not to get worked up when I have a beautiful girl pressed up against the wall moaning." I shuddered again, closing my eyes as though that could block out his words.

I heard him laugh lightly. "You do like that, huh?" I opened my eyes again, confused. He took a confident step forwards. "You like when I talk dirty to you. Imagine all the dirty things I could whisper in your ear if we were in a bed," he said, his lips nearly touching mine.

It was official. This boy could make me do anything he wanted with just a few words. My eyes were wide and he grinned before stepping back again. I blinked in surprise. I thought he was going to kiss me again.

"Class is going to end soon. If we start kissing again, the entire school body is going to forget about your fainting spell and start talking about how your brother killed me for screwing you up against a locker." I sighed raggedly at his words but nodded.

"Sebastian is coming back today," I said when we were on our way back to class, both of us having managed to calm down. Jace scowled at his feet.

"Great. Can't wait to see the king of dicks again," he spat, glaring at the tiles he stepped on. I sighed.

"I don't think I want him to come back." Jace's head snapped up to look at me.

"You don't want him to come back?" I blushed for probably the sixtieth time that day.

"I don't think so. When he comes back...I can't pretend he doesn't exist anymore. I can't just tell myself that...that I'll deal with everything when he gets here. And I can't push away the guilt for what I feel for you if he's here."

"Oh," Jace said, his brows furrowed as he looked at the floor. He looked up at me to say something, but we had reached Starkweather's room.

He bit his lip, looking at me as though wondering if he should say what he wanted to. Then he looked away and pushed the door open, stepping in and holding it open for me.

Everyone stared when we stepped in. And then the whispers started. I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"Clarissa, Jonathan." I looked up, expecting yet again to see my brother. Then I huffed in annoyance when I remembered Jace's real name. Jace walked up to Starkweather's desk and I followed close behind.

"Where have you two been all class period?" I felt my face flush and a mild panic stirred in my chest. Where had I been? How about pressed up against the lockers with his tongue down my throat? Yeah, let's not tell the teacher that.

I didn't remember that we'd actually had a valid excuse until Jace told Starkweather that I'd been in the nurse's office. The beady-eyed man looked at me critically.

"And why exactly were you there?"

"I fainted in science," I said, fidgeting under his gaze. He raised a brow, turning to a cool-looking Jace.

"And why were you in the nurse's office with her?"

"My sister heard she was there when she got out of class and told me to go stay with her until she could go back to class because she knew I had this class with her," Jace explained calmly.

"Then you won't mind if I call the nurse?" He looked at me challengingly. I shrugged.

"If you want to waste your time, sure," I said easily. The man glared at me as a fair amount of our classmates covered their laughter with coughs. But he picked up the phone anyway, waving us off to our seats.

I sat down and Jace turned in his seat to smirk at me. "Good luck looking Jon in the eyes at lunch if you can't handle talking to Starkweather." I blushed again,

Aline leaned over, looking at me curiously.

"Are you okay? You've looked really flushed since you walked in the door."

Lunch had to be the most awkward situation I had ever been in. Jace was right about not being able to look my brother in the eyes.

Of course, that prompted Jon to make a whole bunch of jokes about what he thought that nurse had been asking me about after he left. It was as bad as it had been that morning. Finally, I snapped at him.

"Jonathan Morgenstern, if you don't stop with the damn period jokes I'll make you bleed from your-"

A hand clapped over my mouth for the second time today and I scowled at Jon, licking his palm. He grimaced but didn't remove his hand from my face.

"Language, Clare," he teased. I licked his hand again. He rolled his eyes. "Clary, I've dealt with you for sixteen years-almost seventeen now. Do you really think a bit of your saliva is going to make me do anything?"

I scowled. "Gmeft er andf off mef." He raised a brow.

"What was that?" I finally reached up and ripped his hand from my face.

"I said, 'get your hand off me'," i snapped. "What was that for?"

He rolled his eyes. "You were using vulgar language and threats. I silenced you."

"I'll silence you permanently," I threatened, turning back to the lunch I had picked up today. I poked at it with a plastic fork, feeling the weight of Jace's eyes on me. I looked up at him across the table and he flickered his eyes between the tray in front of me and my eyes.

Eat, he seemed to be saying. I sighed, stabbing a piece of blandly flavored pasta. I wasn't really sure what it was supposed to be, but it tasted like pasta with water dumped on it. I was less than pleased when Jace made me get this instead of just eating an apple. I shoved a forkful into my mouth, grimacing as I chewed it. Jace looked pleased, taking a bite out of a sandwich Izzy had dropped in front of him when she sat down.

"I hate you," I said half-heatedly. He laughed, nearly choking on his food.

Jon raised a brow at me but didn't say anything, turning back to the conversation between him and Izzy.

"Classy," I commented as Jace chugged down half a bottle of water to chase down the sandwich. He just winked at me.

"Because you're completely classy too," he said. "I know something classy ladies really don't make a habit of doing up against lockers." My stomach flipped and I shoved another forkful of the disgusting food into my mouth to avoid Jace's suggestive look.

"Jace, stop teasing poor Clary," I heard Izzy say from down the table. I saw the humor in her eyes though. Nobody had heard exactly what he said, but the flush on my cheeks must have said it all.

"But she's so fun to tease," he argued, smirking at me. Jon laughed, bumping my shoulder with his.

"I tell her that all the time." I scowled between the two of them.

"There's two of you now," I said. "This is what hell looks like."

The table erupted in laughter as Jon ruffled my hair affectionately. I didn't bother to fix it, knowing it would be screwed up again by the end of lunch.

When I'd finally choked down all of my lunch, Jace offered to take my tray up for me. I let him take it and rested my head on the table. My stomach was turning as though I had just eaten a plate of human flesh. Maia was eating the same thing, and so were other people around the cafeteria, but I was the only one who seemed to feel as though I was going to vomit at any second.

Jon's hand rested on my back. "Clary, are you okay? Are you going to faint again?" I shook my head.

"No, my stomach is just bothering me. I haven't had a school lunch in a while, I probably just need to build my tolerance to toxic waste back up again." My brother chuckled.

"Whatever you say."

After I'd run some of the track in gym, my stomach was feeling better. I figured I'd just eaten too much at once after eating so little for so long. And, of corse, the school food probably didn't help much.

When it came time for Jon and I to head home, I felt like I was going to be sick again. This time it was different though. This time I knew it was because I was going to have to face Sebatian soon. And I had no idea how to do that.

Jon was supposed to pick Seb up from the airport at four and drive back to the house. At least that gave me a little time to calm down before I saw him.

I was just beginning to settle my nerves when I stepped into the living room, dropping my bag to the floor beside the couch. I was about to turn back towards the kitchen for a cup of water when I saw a figure stretched out on our couch, watching me with dark eyes.

Sebastian. He was here early. I had no time to figure out what I was going I say to him, whether I was still angry, anything.

Forget two Jonathans. That wasn't hell. This was.

So here's the chapter :) there was more clace! :D sorry about te fact that it was barely edited. I was half asleep going through it. Oh well.

Here's something I think really needs to be addressed:

Some people seem kind of uncomfortable with Clary cheating on Sebastian. And, as a person who has been cheated on before, I understand why you might not like the idea of her cheating. But as much as I hate cheaters, I find myself cutting her a lot of slack due to how Sebastian treats her. He's an ass, to put it simply and she deserves better. She's starting to realize that, but she's kind of been weakened to the point where she can't imagine not having Seb around. And another thing about her reasonings: if I had a boyfriend and he called me a whore, I would show him just how much of one I could be.

So I hope I'm not offending anyone with the direction this story took. It's all a part of Clary's growth as a character.

Love you guys!

-Cassidy ❤️