Cas woke up with his arms full of Dean and sunshine heating a stripe across his back. He was warm and comfortable, and Dean smelled wonderful. His back was pressed to Cas's front and he was breathing deep and steadily. Burying his face in the back of Dean's neck, Cas took a deep breath and sighed, tightening his arm around Dean's waist.

Carefully, so as not to disturb Dean, Cas reached for his phone on the nightstand and took a picture of Dean snuggled in his arms. In the picture, Cas was smiling softly and Dean's face was slack and relaxed as he lay lost in peaceful dreams. The love he felt for the man welled up inside him, and he kissed Dean's temple as he put the phone away. This was what he wanted - today, tomorrow, every day for the rest of his life.

Cas wondered what Dean would say if he asked him to marry him - but it was probably too soon to be thinking that way.

Closing his eyes, he fell back asleep picturing Dean in a tuxedo, standing across from him and exchanging vows while they held hands. Dream Dean's face was beautiful, peaceful, pure joy making his pretty eyes sparkle. They sealed their bond with a kiss, and Castiel woke again.

He'd moved to his back, and Dean was slung across his body, fingers tracing patterns on Cas's chest.

"Good morning," Dean said softly.

"Morning. How did you sleep?"

"Really good. Deep. I don't think I woke up once all night."

"Glad to hear." Cas kissed Dean's forehead. "I slept good, too. Want to get in the shower with me? I'd like to take you out to breakfast this morning."

"Maybe in a bit. I kinda just want to stay right here. I'll be alone tonight and I just want to soak this up as long as I can."

"Halfway there, Dean. In a month -"

"I know. I do. And I'm going to do everything I can to focus on that and keep moving forward, but in the meantime, I just want to soak up these last few moments with you. If that's ok."

"That's perfectly ok." Cas tightened his grip on Dean, pulling him closer into his arms. "This last month will go so fast. And then you'll be on a plane home, coming back to me."

"About that - I wanted to ask but I keep chickening out. I um - I don't fly well, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to fly out here and fly back with me," Dean said, "but you don't have to, I mean, I'd be ok -"

"Of course I'll do that for you. I'd be happy to."

Tension bled from Dean's limbs as he relaxed back into Cas's arms. "Wow, thank you. I appreciate it."

"No thanks needed. I'm happy to do that for you. And you never need to be afraid to ask me for things. Alright?"

"Yeah, just be patient with me. Might take me awhile to learn that lesson."

"I'll be endlessly patient with you."

Dean nuzzled his face into Cas's neck, kissing the skin under his ear. "So good to me." He pushed up on one arm, leaning in for a real kiss. His lips were soft and sweet, and the kiss was chaste but fervent. "Could kiss you forever," Dean murmured against Cas's lips. "Could spend every day kissing you."

"That sounds wonderful," Cas said, pulling Dean down for another kiss. He slid a hand up Dean's leg to rest on his hip, fingers sliding underneath his shirt to find the skin above his waistband. They kissed slow and sweet, and despite Cas's best efforts, arousal built, heat growing into an itch under his skin. "Dean, I -"

"No one said we had to stop."

"But you -"

"I'm fine. I'm fine, Cas."

Growling slightly, Cas flipped Dean onto his back, pressing him into the mattress as their kisses grew more insistent. Dean's fingers slipped under Cas's shirt, pushing the fabric upward. He dragged his nails over Cas's nipples and he gasped into Dean's mouth.

"Liked that, did ya?"

"Tell me what you want, Dean. Please. I don't want to push you too far."

"I'm good, baby, I'm good."

"I don't have any lube or anything. I didn't bring it. I didn't think -"

Dean's eyes twinkled. "Who needs lube?" He pushed Cas's shirt further up his chest, helping him out of it and tossing it carelessly to the floor. "There's all kinds of fun we can have without it. All kinds of fun." Dean's hands slid down Cas's back and into the waistline of his boxers, pushing them down over the curve of his ass.

Lost in kisses, Cas sucked in air through his nose, not willing to break his lips away from Dean's. He tasted so sweet, felt so good moving beneath him.

"Cas," Dean murmured, as Cas ducked his head to attack Dean's neck.

He sucked a bit of Dean's skin into his mouth, dragging his teeth and pulling blood to the surface. Dean let out a guttural groan as Cas marked him, his fingers digging into the flesh of Cas's ass. Getting his hands under Dean's shirt, he pulled him into a half sitting position, yanking the tee up and over Dean's head. They worked together to get their boxers off, and when Cas laid Dean back down, he pressed their naked skin together.

"Feel so good, Dean," he murmured, reaching between them, wrapping a hand around both of them.

Dean sucked in a breath and pushed his hips up into Cas's grip. "Fuck -" Dean gasped. "Yeah. Just like that. Just like that."

Cas tightened his grip around them, dry drag making him see stars.

"Wait, give me your hand," Dean said. He took the hand Cas offered and sucked all of his fingers into his lush mouth.

"Jesus -" Cas breathed, watching as Dean soaked each finger before turning the palm of Cas's hand, laving at skin and leaving wet spit slicked flesh behind.

"There. Try it now."

Reaching between them again, Cas gripped them both tightly. Dean moaned and let his head fall back into the pillow as he fucked into Cas's fist, the firmness of his erection hard and hot against Cas's own.

"Gonna come, Cas, I'm gonna come."

"Not yet," Cas growled, squeezing the base of Dean's dick. "Not yet."

Dean whined, his body trembling from the feedback of denied orgasm. "Fuck, fuck," he whimpered.

Cas pulled back and grabbed Dean by the ankles, sliding him further down the bed. "I've always wanted to try this," he said, turning so that he was hovering over Dean. He leaned down and sucked Dean into the back of his throat.

"Oh, fuck, fuck!" Dean's whole body was shaking, but he got the idea, stretching his head up to take Cas into his mouth.

Electric sparks of pleasure raced down Cas's spine and he groaned around the cock in his mouth. He could taste the salty slickness of Dean's precome, and he licked it up. Dean had stopped for a moment, and slurping sounds could be heard, but before Cas had a moment to clear his head enough to ascertain what those sounds meant, Dean was closing his hot mouth around him again.

Wet fingers slipped between his ass cheeks, and somewhere in the distant corners of his mind, he now knew what the slurping sounds had been, but he was far too distracted by Dean gently sliding a finger inside of him.

"Fuck!" he shouted, the surprise blowing the steady rhythm he'd been using on Dean. He heard a low chuckle behind him, as Dean found his own rhythm, sliding his finger inside while he swallowed Cas's dick. His finger pressed firmly on Cas's prostate, and it was just too good, too came sharply and unexpectedly, Dean coughing slightly.

"Guess that was good, huh?" Dean rasped.

Cas could only whimper in response from where he lay shaking, his head on the bed between Dean's knees. "You're a sex god," he wheezed after a bit.

"Nah. Just a dude with a boner," Dean replied, a suggestive tone in his voice.

"Yeah? What do you want me to do about it? You broke me."

A hearty, happy laugh bubbled out of Dean and the sound made Cas warm from his head to the tips of his toes. He pulled himself up, rearranged his body so that he was facing Dean. Dean looked utterly debauched, with his cheeks flushed red and his hair everywhere. He tracked Cas with lust-blown eyes as Cas crawled up the bed.

"Shit. Look like you're hunting me," Dean said softly, arousal bleeding into his voice.

"Maybe I am. Maybe I'm the big, bad wolf."

Reaching up, Dean hooked a hand around Cas's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "Maybe you're a pussycat."

Cas held his hand out to Dean. "Get it wet," he demanded. Dean obeyed immediately, eyes hooded and hungry as he carried out his task. Shifting them both, Dean allowed Cas to manhandle him into a position that had Cas sitting up against the headboard, Dean against his chest.

"Watch," he growled in Dean's ear. "Look in the mirror over there," Cas ordered, as he wrapped his wet hand around Dean again. Against the wall across from the foot of their bed was a chest of drawers with a large mirror over it, and Dean stared at himself, eyes darting away after a moment. "No, watch. Look how beautiful you are." Cas slid his free hand up Dean's chest, tugging on a hardened nipple. "See yourself the way I do," he murmured, sliding his hand up and down Dean's length. "See how gorgeous you are? How perfect, lovely, how sexy you are?" Dean whined and tried to turn his face away. "No, look. Please. Look at you. You're close and you're flushed and breathing hard. Watch. Please."

Dean obeyed this time, locking eyes with his double in the mirror. His breath grew shallower, his dick throbbing in Cas's hand as he relentlessly pushed Dean over the brink. Cas held Dean close as he shuddered through the aftershocks, petting his hair and whispering sweet words.

"You are," he kissed him just below the ear, "so good for me. Perfect."

Dean turned in his arms and kissed him softly. "No. You're good for me. You changed everything. Don't you know that? You're good for me."

"I love you so much," Cas said softly. "I didn't even know it could be like this."

"You think I did? You said to me, right before I left, that in all the ways that count, we're each other's firsts. And that's true. It's so true." Dean turned his head to kiss the skin below Cas's ear. "I love you. I love you so much it terrifies me."

"Don't be afraid. I'm not going anywhere."

"I think I might be starting to believe that." Dean's eyes sparkled in the morning sun as he stared up at Cas, both of them soaking in the warmth and the contentment of being together.

It was the most perfect moment Cas had ever known.

After a brief period of recovery, Cas managed to drag a perfectly content and sated Dean from the bed and into a hot shower. Cas tilted Dean's head back into the stream of water, shielding his eyes as he rinsed the soap from his hair.

"This will sound so stupid, but I love shit like this."

"Why would that sound stupid? I love having sex with you, but the intimate moments like this are what truly make me happy."

"Yeah?" Dean blinked the water out of his eyes. "Really?"

"Really. I just love being with you. Sex is a bonus. An incredible bonus, but a bonus."

Dean plastered his wet back to Cas's chest so Cas could wash his belly. "Huh. So if it never happened again?"

"I'm not saying I wouldn't miss it, I would, but it's not why I'm with you. Get what I'm saying?"

"I think so."

Cas swept his hands across Dean's chest. "Do you have any idea, any inkling at all of how much I love you?"

"I think maybe I'm starting to get a clue." Dean turned in his arms. "But some positive reinforcement wouldn't hurt." He grinned, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Twenty minutes later, an irritated Sam was banging on the door complaining about the lack of hot water while Cas towel dried a giggling and flushed Dean.

"I think your brother's a bit irritated with us," Cas told him.

"Ask me if I care," Dean grinned, pushing Cas against the door and kissing him. "I'm happy. I'm in love. That should be good enough for him. These next four weeks are going to go by so slow, though. I want to be home with you."

"I think it'll go fast. You're doing better, you've got the goal in sight. You can do this, Dean."

"I know I can."

Cas leaned forward and kissed the tip of Dean's nose. "I'm so proud of you."

"You know, for the first time in probably forever, I am too. I'm proud of myself."

They went to Santa Monica for the day, and Cas happily shelled out the money to ride the rides on the pier and for a late lunch at In'N'Out. Dean snuggled against him in the back of Sam's car on the way back to the facility, but he was still smiling when he waved goodbye.

Cas took that as a good sign.

Home by early Monday afternoon, Cas sorted through a few days worth of mail. He called Charlie, happy to hear that the store had done wonderfully over the weekend, and seemed to be well on the way to developing a solid customer base.

"We did killer numbers over the weekend. In fact, there's this girl that keeps coming in, Krissy? She's offered to help out with extra hours in the evenings when she's not in class."

"College student?"

"Yeah. She loves the place. Loves the vibe. I think we can trust her. She said she'd come by with her dad Saturday so he can vouch for her, but she seems like a good kid. Plus, she liked my Live Long and Prosper shirt. She's basically a tiny me," Charlie said proudly.

"Huh. What should we pay her?"

"Better than minimum, definitely. We can figure that out later. How was your trip?"

"It was good. Dean was a little shaky at first, but he was happy to see me and when we returned him to the center on Sunday, he was in good spirits. One month left, and then he'll be home. I can't wait."

"Do you think he'll be ok with what we did?"

"Honestly, I don't know and I am concerned he'll be mad at us. But I'm hoping he'll be able to see it as the gesture of love it was meant to be."

"Me too, especially since I just put in an order for some tees and stickers. I had to reorder a couple of albums, and I had a big special order from Benny for new 45's for his jukebox. Dean's making money now. He can pay the mortgage, he can afford basic human needs, hell, he could probably start padding his savings account. Things are looking up."

"I can't wait for him to see how well things are going."

"When does he come home?"

"End of the month. I'm going to fly to LA and fly back with him."

"Huh."

"What?"

"No, I'm just thinking - you should take a week and a half and drive out in his car. Wouldn't that be cool? Road trip!"

Cas grinned. "That is a great idea!" he enthused. "I love it!"

"See? I'm awesome."

"You are, Charlie, and you have no idea just how much."

They talked for a bit more, ending the conversation after Cas's massive yawn. He promised to take a nap, heading up to his room after they disconnected.

Back at work the next morning, he took his vacation request to Naomi's office. He tapped on the door and she called for him to come in, listening patiently while he made his request.

"I see no reason not to grant this, Mr. Novak. You're one of our most valued employees and don't ask for time off often." She signed the paper and handed it back to him, smiling over the top of her tortoise shell frames. "Although, you have asked for several days lately. Everything is alright, I trust?"

"Yes. I um - I have a boyfriend, and he's been in treatment in California. Those days are for when the treatment is finished. He asked that I escort him home to Sioux Falls."

Naomi slipped the glasses off and set them on her desk. "You know, I knew Bobby Singer for years. I was excited for Dean when he decided to open the store. I thought it would be good for him. I know it's been a struggle."

"I wasn't aware that you knew Dean at all."

She nodded. "I'm the one that asked Crowley to intercede on his behalf when he fell behind on the mortgage. I don't know why, other than perhaps I thought he'd taken one too many blows in his life. Charlie says the store is doing well now. You two are a good team."

"It's all for Dean. We're just trying to set him up for success."

"I think you must love him quite a bit."

"I do," Cas smiled.

"Does he feel the same?"

Thinking back over their weekend together, Cas couldn't help how his smile widened. "He does. Definitely."

Dear Cas,

Kind of a rough week. Pam says I backslid a little bit, but that it's nothing to worry about. I was good until Wednesday, but I had a nightmare and it kinda threw me off for the rest of the week. But it's Friday, which means I get to spend the evening and part of tomorrow with Sam and Jess. We're going to get dinner and go see a movie.

I miss you already. Feels like you were just here, but it's already been almost a week. I wish this were over, but then again, I only have three weeks left, so suck it up, Winchester!

I'm on Lunesta now for sleep. I think it's helping - the Ambien sure didn't. Pretty sure the current antidepressant is working better than the stuff they had me on at first. But holy crap - the dreams, dude. They are so friggin' weird! Pam says that's a normal side effect, and it sure beats the nightmares, but weird, weird, weird. Last night I dreamt I was driving around in my car and chasing down monsters. Sammy and I were some kind of special forces ghost hunters and you were (you'll love this) an Angel of the Lord. In fact, at one point, you got all growly and in my face and said "I pulled you out of hell, I can throw you back in."

I gotta admit, it was hot as hell. Ha! Pun intended. (By the way, Angel of the Lord Cas looks a hell of a lot like John Constantine!) I could probably wax poetic about how you really are my guardian angel...

They threw us a little pizza party and Star Wars marathon last night. It was pretty cool, definitely a good way to pass the time. I'm glad they did it yesterday, because Thursday was hard and I needed the pick me up.

God, I wish I was home. Promise not to make fun of me when I'm demanding snuggles all the time? Wow, I'm a five year old girl. Snuggles. What the actual fuck?

I love you. I can't wait to see you again.

Love,

Dean

P.S. Look up It Might Be You by Stephen Bishop. Pretend I'm singing it to you.

Cas pulled up the song right away, smiling as he listened to the singer. He'd have to get Dean to sing it for him for real when he got home. He folded Dean's letter, tucking it underneath the others in his nightstand drawer. Pulling out a legal pad and a pen, he wrote his own letter, telling Dean again how proud he was of him and how much more upbeat he sounded. He let Dean know his vacation had been approved and told a small white lie about purchasing airfare.

When he was done, Cas pulled out his laptop and mapped out the trip to LA and sent it to his printer. Then, he mapped out the trip back from LA, adding a short detour in Las Vegas. He booked a room for two nights at the Venetian. He booked another night in Denver, figuring they could use it as the halfway point between Sioux Falls and Vegas.

After setting up and printing his itinerary, he estimated the fuel costs for the Impala and almost cancelled the whole thing. Almost.

Satisfied, he shut off the lamp and snuggled down in bed, excited about his plans.

They exchanged letters back and forth over the next few weeks. Each letter from Dean was progressively sunnier and more enthusiastic as he neared the end of treatment. Dean would be released on a Saturday morning, and the Wednesday before, Cas got off work and went home, prepared to spend the evening packing the Impala. He'd leave at dawn, and would make LA by Friday evening.

As he was settling down for the night, he made one last check of his email before packing his laptop, surprised to find a message from Sam.

Hey Cas,

So Dean and I recorded this earlier in the week. I tried to convince him to Skype you to do it, but he said he was too nervous. Anyway, download and enjoy. See you in a few days!

Sam

Attached was a video clip, and when it downloaded, Dean's face was smiling at him.

"Hey! So I've been working on this song and -" he blushed. "Uh, Sammy and I are gonna do it for you. I hope you like it."

The camera zoomed out to show Sam and Dean sitting side by side, both holding guitars. Dean looked over at Sam and nodded, silently counting down. They both started playing together, Sam lightly tapping his foot to keep time. Dean looked into the camera and started singing.

"You came in from the rain, smell of flowers on your skin. A grey and rainy day, somehow you brought the sunshine in. And how do I deserve this miracle of you? Funny 'cause you say, I'm a miracle too.

"Fallin' in love, it wasn't in my plans. But here you are, here I am. Fallin' in love, what a thing to do. Fallin' in love, fallin' for you."

Sam joined in on the chorus, his voice rough and husky beside Dean's more mellow tenor. They complimented each other nicely, and Cas leaned back against his headboard to listen to the rest of the song.

"My heart was barred, protected from pain. You found the key, now I can feel again. So much joy, I found in you. Baby, don't you know, you make all my dreams come true."

They went through the chorus again, and then the melody changed slightly.

"I would fight the world to keep you by my side. 'Cause whenever I'm with you, you make me feel alive," Dean sang, dragging out the last note. He and Sam played a small interlude, then the melody went back to normal.

"Someday we'll be old, but this will still be true. The best times of my life, were the times I spent with you. You're the miracle that helped to heal my pain. And it all began when you came in from the rain."

They went through the chorus twice more, and Cas watched through the tears streaming down his face. When the song was over, Dean coughed awkwardly and looked over at Sam, who nodded encouragingly .

"So, anyway - I love you. I can't wait to see you. I wrote this for you and I hope you liked it. See you soon," he smiled, sitting the guitar aside.

Jess moved in front of the camera, likely to shut it off, but Dean was still talking.

"Do you think he'll like it?" he asked Sam.

"He'd be nuts not to. I've never seen you like this - I love it, man. I freaking love it."

"Me too," Dean said softly. "I've never been so happy in my life."

The camera shut off then, and Cas swiped at his still streaming eyes. He watched it twice more before finally forcing himself to shut off the computer and go to bed.

He got to Sam and Jess's place at six on Friday and pulled the Impala into the driveway just as Sam stepped out onto the porch, Grady right behind him. Sam's jaw dropped.

"How?" he spluttered, staring at the car, as Grady got on with the very important business of attempting to lick the skin off Cas's palm. "I thought he sold it!"

"He did."

Sam stared at him for a long moment. "I don't know what Dean and I did to deserve you coming into our lives but -" He pulled Cas into a rough hug, holding him tight. "Cas, dude, you're supposed to hug back."

"Oh," Cas said, reaching up to hug Sam back. "You surprised me. Sorry."

"No worries." Letting go, Sam ran a hand down the Impala's fender. "He's going to freak."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No. No, it'll be a happy freak."

"There's something else I need to ask you, Sam."

"Shoot, man."

"I um - Charlie and I - we got it into our heads that maybe we could get the store going again, make it turn a profit. And uh - it's doing better than we expected. We had to hire someone. Is he going to be angry at me for that?" He gestured to the Impala, "or this?"

"I dunno. He might be, but I doubt it. I think he'll see it as what you meant it to be."

"I just want him to be happy."

Sam smiled. "That's exactly what I meant. C'mon, grab your crap, let's go to In'N'Out. I saw your face the last time - I know you want it."

"I do. I really do."

Laughing, Sam helped him unload his bag. Once he was settled, Jess and the dogs piled into the back seat and Cas tossed Sam the keys.

"Really?" he asked excitedly.

"Seems fair," Cas smiled. "Plus I just drove for two days. Your turn."

"Awesome!" Sam grinned. "Just don't tell him we had the dogs in here," he laughed, climbing into the driver's seat.

Sitting in shotgun, Cas smiled at Sam's joy, and thought about the next day, when they'd go get Dean.

He couldn't wait to see him behind the wheel.