A/N: Welcome, welcome! I want to thank the following people for their comments: AlyxVance, MissMisc3, ForeverACharmedOne, Jandra1969, BlooperLover, missyclone, dionne dance, CharlieCats, Makrciana, XantheXV, ElleWillBite, TinkerbellxO and 88dragon06. Thank you for sticking with me and I mean it!

On with the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dark Shadows.

Chapter 9

'For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.

It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.'

~Judy Garland

When I was a little girl I used to fear the dark. It didn't matter if I was alone or with company. The dark always creates an illusion of creatures that are coming to get you. When I was about five years old the power had gone off in our house and I had woken up in cold sweat. I had just somehow felt that something was wrong. My parents were already up, trying to check what was wrong but I was too scared to even move from the comfort of my bed. But it was not only the fear of darkness that had kept me rooted on my mattress. It had been a dark figure near my window. I don't know what it was but I was foolish enough to believe that it was a demon or a ghost that had come to get me because I had been bad.

I had felt eyes on me and I was barely holding in my whimpers. But then suddenly the figure moved and with a wave of his shadowy hand light had illuminated my room. I had been so confused, so scared but then I saw the presence's face and I had realized that demons did not look so beautiful. The ghost or whatever it had been had translucent skin but what had struck me the most was his eyes because the rest of him had been indistinguishable. His gaze, brown like warm molten honey and friendly had settled upon me and before I had the chance to talk or even move he was gone in a flash. The light that he had brought with him lingered for a few seconds and then it was gone.

A moment later my mother had burst into the room, asking if I was okay but I couldn't speak. But my odd meeting with the creature was eventful because from that day I no longer feared the dark.

So, being in the dark right now is no problem for me. What is my problem though is my aching leg and hand. The pain on my leg is not extreme but it throbs numbly. What hurts like hell is my crushed hand. My fingers feel frozen and swollen and I cannot move them. Hell, I don't even try to because the pain is so extreme and sharp that brings tears in my eyes.

I try not to think about it much but it is nearly impossible because I have nothing else to do than think on my misery. I have not tried to sleep. I am too alert to rest and…I feel odd.

I cannot describe it but I feel as if someone has ripped out a part of me; as if someone has stolen a part of my self. That worries me because I have a suspicion of what it means. I finger my wrist and a heavy weight settles down upon my chest. Am I…Am I actually missing him? If that is so, then the bond actually works. That instead of bringing me fear it kind of brings me comfort. Because someone actually cares for me. He protected me against Angelique. He tried to but she knows all his weaknesses and now…now she knows something about me that I have yet to understand. I know that there is something wrong with me. My dreams or whatever they are have made it clear enough. My bond with Barnabas goes way back. In another life perhaps but it is not just that. I have dreams, flashes of the future so that means that my future life is with him as well. That brings me some relief but also confusion. Will he tell me what I need to know or will he lie to me? Will he make me understand what Angelique meant when she said that he had compelled her to forget? I pause at that.

Angelique. She seemed furious with me and my suspicions are confirmed. She knew me but she had not recognized me until recently. That means that I am…What? A reincarnation? Angelique had called me Jane Wald. I don't think it was a mistake because I distinctly remember that in my dream Barnabas had called my father Mr. Wald instead of Walden.

A shiver goes up and down my spine as I think of what she will do to me now. I don't even know how for many hours I've been left alone. It's hard to tell in this darkness.

I need to stop thinking because I already feel a headache spreading through my skull. I need to calm down, I need to concentrate and gather my thoughts. I have to sleep. I wonder if that will help me but as I lean back and close my eyes I don't care. Perhaps for once I will welcome the dreams and even learn something from them. Convinced that they are better than my current reality, I let Morpheus drag me into the depths of sleep.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Something soft and itchy is under me, tickling my bare back-…

My eyes snap open. Bare back? I look down and good Lord on heaven! I am naked. A vicious blush travels up my neck and lands on my cheeks but I am too shocked to move. I am lying upon fluffy hay. A dark and very male coat is covering my front and upon the coat there is a head. My eyes must look as wide as saucers because as I try to shift I feel something pressing between my parted legs. The man who is sleeping upon my chest looks content to be there. I realize with a start that he is lying between my legs clad in a wrinkled shirt and a pair of dark breeches. The shirt is pushed back and his shoulders and upper back are shining with a dissolving layer of sweat.

An undignified yelp escapes me and my hand flies to cover my mouth but it's already late because he stirs. His cheek nuzzles my chest through the coat and a small smile appears on his lips as his eyelids start flickering.

Barnabas' eyes lock with mine a moment later and I can tell that he is rather amused by my expression.

I gulp as he pulls his head away from my chest and shifts up. His nose brushes mine and then his lips cover my own in a deep kiss. His mouth soft, warm and wet parts mine and then his tongue is in my mouth stealing my breath away. His hands come to land in my loose hair and he supports himself up on his elbows as he kisses me. My mouth remains frozen for a while but then I let it part further. He groans into the kiss as I return it with some reservation and then he pulls back.

"Are you cold?" his hand finds my knee and he pulls it up against his waist as he presses his body closer. He pulls his other hand from the hay and reaches down between us, fumbling with something and I am too shocked to move. Is he…Oh, Jesus. He wants to-…

"Jane?" he cuts through my thoughts and I look up at him. His eyes are alight with an emotion that is not totally familiar to me but I can tell by the way he's leaning into me that it's desire.

My heart starts beating wildly in my chest under his intense gaze and as he pauses and looks at me with increasing worry I realize that he actually wants an answer.

"I'm not cold." I blurt out and then his hands are both on my legs and his sliding me closer to him, pulling me nearer to that part of him that is pressed against my inner thigh.

I gasp as his mouth finds mine again and as he moves further down I wind my arms around his shoulders to anchor myself. As his mouth takes mine, I panic because I am not sure if we've done this before. I know that I, the normal Jane, hasn't but from the way we are lying here I am not sure.

Suddenly, his fingers slide between us and curl tightly around the coat. I gasp against his lips as he tugs the material away from my body and then his hand is upon my bare skin, stroking and sliding over my chest until I am breathless.

His mouth pulls away and then his lips are sliding down my cheek to my chin where he lingers. His fingers trail down my stomach and my muscles clench under his palm.

I squeeze my eyes shut and bite my lip as his mouth finds the side of my neck. When he stars suckling the skin I realize that I can either let him continue or make him talk. I don't know what to do.

"B-Barnabas?" I breathe out and he hums in response as his fingers dip between my legs.

"My love?" he murmurs as he nuzzles my neck with his nose and lips.

My eyes peruse the space around us and I realize that we are in a stable. In a darkened part of it anyway. A candle is illuminating the room and there is a door across from us. I exhale with relief when I see that it is firmly shut.

"What time is it?" I murmur as I try not to get too dizzy from his touch alone.

He pulls away from my skin and regards me with a small frown, "Um…" he reaches out with one hand and slips his fingers into his coat pocket. He pulls it out and opens his pocket watch. It is gold with an intricate design on the lid.

"After midnight." He slams it shut and looks at me with alarm, "You have to go? I thought you said you could stay longer tonight." He actually looks crestfallen and my heart clenches.

Good God, how can he have such an effect on me?

"No…I…" his frown deepens at my indecision and I close my eyes, "I can stay." I whisper and a smile lightens up his entire face. I am almost blinded.

His hand touches my face and he threads his fingers into my strands before he pulls my head up for a kiss. His free hand clutches at my thigh and in a swift move he pulls it up and around his hip. I can feel him pressing against me and I am suddenly too warm. I feel like my skin is on fire as his mouth plunders mine with such need that I wonder how serious he is about me; about my previous self. Does he…does he love me? Do I?

My latter question is answered as my body responds to him on its own. My legs coil tightly around his hips and as he moves lower I can feel my resolve slipping as he pulls his lips away to gasp my name. My hands curl around his forearms and they dig into his skin through his shirt as he pulls his hips back with the very clear intention of pushing inside me. His mouth closes around my earlobe as he enters me and my eyes go wide when I feel…no pain. My shock is so big that I freeze up under him. I don't know how it should feel but I feel odd…and peculiar but not afraid.

He immediately senses my abrupt change in demeanor and he pulls back to look down at me.

"Jane?" he whispers and I lock my eyes with his. I shiver.

"You want me to stop?" he asks me and I don't know what to say to that. I should be asking questions instead of…God, I am lost.

"Jane, you're scaring me." He pulls back and rolls onto his side, his hands reaching for my face. Once he has it grasped, he runs his thumbs under my eyes and I hadn't realized that I am crying.

"Heavens, did I hurt you?" one of his hands slides between my legs and I quickly close them, trapping his hand and his eyes go wide.

"I'm fine." I shake my head and grasp his face in my hand before I pull him to me. He's not going to talk if I cry and behave like a damn virgin…Well, in reality that's what I am but it seems like the eighteenth century was different for me. I flush as I think about it and then even more because he's moving back on top of me. He doesn't pull his hand away from my core and my breathing hitches as his lips catch mine again. He kisses me but then he pulls back to press his lips against my forehead.

"Don't ever cry again." He murmurs as his fingers press against me and his leg parts my thighs so he can settle between them again, "Swear it." He hisses and I am so confused. What on earth does he see in me? Why would he risk his position in his family for me?

"I swear." I murmur back and he smiles before he presses his cheek against mine, "But I have a few questions-…Oh God!" I almost yelp as he enters me again and this time I am seeing stars when I close my eyes.

"Questions?" he asks as he pulls back only to thrust forward again, "Tell me." He breathes with a grin as he starts to move steadily, his hands on either side of my head, his lips brushing mine with every move.

I start to wonder if my mind has gone so sick that I am seeing erotic dreams instead of visions. My mouth goes dry at that thought.

"Don't freak out." I warn and he looks down at me, his hips slowing down their pace.

"Beg pardon? Freak out?" he frowns in the most adorable way and I can see that he's fighting hard the urge to simply clamp my mouth shut.

I shake my head, "Don't be mad." I correct and he blinks.

"Why would I be mad?" he shakes his head and kisses me, "I'd never be mad at you." He smiles and my heart soars.

Compose yourself! My inner voice is sharp and of course it has a point.

"Why am I your mistress?" I blurt out and every muscle in his body goes rigid before he stops. He's breathless but so ruffled. Oh Jesus.

"I…" he fights to find the right words, "I don't know what to say to that." He admits and I frown, "I love you." He replies simply and when I stare at him he starts to pull back.

"Barnabas-…"

"But I can see that it's not reciprocated. Is that why you're unresponsive? Have I done something to make you doubt my affections?"

And then he does the unthinkable, he pulls back and quickly covers me with his coat, "I see." he murmurs when I don't respond, "Get dressed. I shall take you home." He mutters as he sits back on his knees and turns away from me to fix his clothing.

I start to panic. What have I done? Will this change the future? Why did I have to ask? My first instinct is to pinch myself because I need to wake up before I make a bigger mess out of this but I hesitate. He thinks I don't love him.

"I broke the betrothal for you. What more can I do? My parents don't understand my choices. They think I am insane calling off the wedding. Josette is a heap of tears because of me and I am being pushed from a million different directions." He turns to look at me and I see anger in his face, "And you dare to ask me why I have you as my mistress? Mistress? The word brings vomit to my mouth." He abruptly stands and runs a hand through his short hair, "How can you be so cruel to me? I thought you understood." He glares at me with betrayal written all over his face and I panic even more.

Now what? That's not what I meant. I simply wanted to know what in hell is going on.

"I guess the environment is not ideal but I never thought that this," he motions to the stables around him, "would make you feel cheap. Apparently it does." He lowers his hands and shakes his head.

"Forgive me if I offended you. I won't touch you again unless you give me permission to." His eyes lock with mine and I sputter like a fish before I stand. My knees feel wobbly and there is an ache or rather a sharp sting deep inside me. Once I realize what it is I flush but walk towards him nonetheless. I hug the coat tighter to my chest and his eyes follow me intently as I come to stand in front of him. His eyes roam my face and when they slip lower I flush and he gulps.

I step even closer until I am standing so close that my chest brushes his.

"I could try and explain but I fear you wouldn't understand." I say quietly, almost angrily.

He licks his lips and frowns, "Try."

"I cannot." I take a deep breath and I quickly move in to kiss his mouth. He seems surprised but returns it and his hands wrap around my body, pulling me closer to him. His mouth hot and insistent parts my lips and in a quick move he pulls me off my feet. He presses me against the closest wall and I groan as my bare back hits the cool surface.

My leg slides up his thigh on its own accord, trying to pull him closer and he moans as his hips collide with mine.

A warm breeze blows around us and I open my eyes. Barnabas breaks the kiss and looks around him as well before he turns to look at me.

"What's this?" he murmurs and I shrug because I am shocked that he even felt the peculiar wind. How on earth can it be windy? The windows and door are closed.

Before I have time to think about that for long, the door of the stables bursts open and I gasp.

Dark hair is the first thing that I see at the threshold and then a pair of ice blue eyes lock with mine. My mouth falls open in shock and Barnabas quickly whirls around to face the intruder. As soon as he sees who it is his body relaxes but he remains in front of me still.

"Master?" Angelique's voice is incredulous and my throat goes dry. Is she powerful in this time? I don't know and that causes sweat to form on my brow. My fists clasp Barnabas' shirt and I try to disappear against the wall but it's useless.

"Get out, please." His voice is firm but she is not budging, "Angelique." His voice sharpens, "Didn't you hear what I said? Go back to your quarters."

"Who is she?" she asks and her voice quivers. Suddenly I feel bad because the way she's looking at him is heartbreaking. I seriously wonder what he sees in me. She's beautiful.

"That is none of your concern. Please, head back to your chamber. It's late." He dismisses her with a wave of his hand.

"Is she the reason you stopped seeing me?"

Her accent is odd, thick and I realize that it reminds me of the French language. Her accent as I know her is American. You cannot tell that it's not her mother language.

Barnabas stiffens and takes a step forward, "Watch your tongue. Do not meddle with my affairs." He says as he leans down and grabs my discarded dress. He hands it to me surreptitiously and I take it.

"I know her." Angelique speaks up as she eyes me with hate, "I've seen her at the docks." She tries to step closer to me but she finds Barnabas blocking her way, "She's the daughter of a fisherman." She continues as she looks me up and down with distaste, "She's disgusting. How can you even-…" her words are cut off by his hand which lands harshly on her cheek in a slap.

I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand to stifle my shock.

Her blue eyes stare at him fearfully, almost incomprehensibly and he lowers his hand. He curls his fingers in a fist and shakes his head, "Don't speak of her again. You know nothing of it. Now get out." His voice is low and she stares at him with disbelief while cradling her cheek.

"No."

"How dare you speak to me like that? Get out or I swear to God I will move you myself. But I guess, God has no meaning to you has he?" his voice is hoarse as he leans to speak into her ear and she pulls her head back to look at him with wide eyes.

"I have no idea what you're talking about-…" she starts but she's cut off.

"I won't say it again." His voice cuts through her words with finality and she glances at me venomously for one last time before she turns on her heel and walks away.

Just before she walks out of the door I take a step forward but then an invisible hand curls around my throat and slams me hard against the wall. I cry out and before my vision goes back I see Barnabas' worried face hovering over me.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

My cell door is slammed open and the telltale sound of heels alerts me of her entrance. Her arrival is to be expected. In fact, she's a bit late.

A sudden light appears in the middle of the room and I close my eyes with a wince.

"There you are. Right where you belong." Angelique murmurs in a low voice as she eyes me with distaste, "How do you feel? Are the dreams haunting you, hmm?" she cocks her head to the side and I frown. How on earth does she know about my visions?

Suddenly, she cackles and I jump, "Your face is so plain. No effort to hide your emotions whatsoever. I guess he liked that. The dazzled look in your eyes, the innocence." She comes and hovers over me and I want to move but my aching leg doesn't allow me, "The inexperience. Had you ever wondered how he knew so much about the bedroom, hmm?"

My eyes widen. Is she really going to have this conversation with me? Insane.

"I guess you never did. Pity. I could tell you things about him that'd make you blush." She purrs and I swallow hard.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I shake my head.

She smirks, "Cursed people mostly know that they are cursed but you…you don't. In fact, you're just starting to remember your past. Tell me, how does it feel to return in the exact same form you were centuries ago? I guess it's not encouraging for confidence." She chuckles but her insults are not getting to me because I am finally learning the truth. Let her talk. It's for my own good.

"Form?" I whisper.

"Same face, same body, same hair…same dull eyes. No improvement. Perhaps I ought to do something about that. But I fear that whatever I do will only make you look better." She scowls and I grit my teeth.

"Do you really think that your insults are getting to me? Will you heal my hand?" I say instead and she narrows her eyes.

"Now why would I do that? I don't owe you any kindness. He wiped my memories for you but now I remember everything. And by the time you're out of here you will do so as well. It's inevitable. Until then," she starts pacing, "You are going to answer my questions." She glances at me as she leans against the wall.

"Questions? Heal me first." I say and she smirks.

"Has your blood created a bond?" she asks me with fury and I gulp.

"Bond?" I frown, trying to seem ignorant, "What kind of bond-…"

"Don't give me that, little girl. Answer the question." She snaps at me.

"Heal my hand first. Then I will tell you." I raise my chin and she stares at me before she waves her hand towards my arm. I hear a crack as she sets my broken thumb right. I gasp and grit my teeth.

"Answer me."

"I guess it has."

"What kind of bond?"

I scan my brain for an answer.

"I guess he wants to protect me because I am his only food source."

Another crack as she sets another finger right, "Why are you his only source?"

"I don't know." An invisible kick to my hurt leg is her response and I wince, "It's the truth."

She contemplates, "What has he told you?"

"Nothing." I shake my head and she comes closer.

"Liar. Has he told you he wants you? Has he told you about the bond? Did you two laugh at me when you realized I wasn't aware of your connection?" she hisses as she grasps my chin and forces my head up, "Why do you always have to ruin things? You and her." She lets go of me and starts pacing again.

"Her?" I echo and she snarls.

"You and Josette." She pauses and turns to look at me with such fury that I can literally see it sparkling in her eyes, "I never understood if he wanted you or her. He still doesn't know. Why else would he be interested in that frail creature that looks exactly like her?" she mutters almost to herself and an odd feeling makes my stomach clench.

It's ridiculous for me to feel jealous. It's irrational but that doesn't change the fact that I am.

"So, you don't know Victoria." She speaks up as soon as she notices my expression, "Have no fear, he mostly feels guilty for leading her to her death." She winks at me.

"Death?"

"She killed herself. And may I say that it was rather enjoyable watching her fall right off Widow's." she snickers, "What a small, tiny curse can do, my dear. Her dead and you gone. Poof! He almost went mad and even when he made me forget you I still felt that I should hate him. That's why I had to lock him up. It was for his own good." She nods and then smiles, "So, tell me. How does it feel to be back in his life? The dreams must be exciting." Her smile is full of glee.

"Why do I have the dreams?" I ask her sharply because I can't take any more information. I cannot stand her mocking smile either.

"Because your mind starts remembering. Because the fog is starting to dissolve. And because the bloody bond aches to be completed." She grimaces and abruptly stands, "But I don't really blame you. He thought that compelling me to forget you would have results. But my mind cannot be easily fooled." She turns and heads for the door and before I have the chance to speak she's gone.

I lean back against the wall and close my eyes. I want to think no longer.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I am startled out of my sleep when my door bursts open. A heap of limbs and chains falls right in front of me and I cry out from shock. Barnabas winces and opens his eyes to look at me. The moment our eyes lock his light up with hope and I can see him swallowing rapidly. He's thirsty. I move forward and once I reach him I push his hair away from his forehead with my good hand. His eyes close in something akin to reverence and I almost smile but then she walks in and I tense up.

She is wiping her mouth with a handkerchief and then she smirks at me. I freeze when I notice the remnants of lipstick on Barnabas' lips as well. Suddenly, I feel sick.

"Men are not to be trusted, my dear. They will do anything for a little comfort and I never enjoyed pathetic humans but pathetic vampires are even worse. Enjoy your time together." She blows him a kiss and I can see his grimace of disgust as he stares at the door.

Not thinking, I reach out and rub at his mouth with my dirty robe sleeve, wiping the lipstick away.

His nose nuzzles my palm and I swallow hard but I allow him to do so. His eyes find mine and they are glimmering in the dark. Immediately I know what he wants; what he needs but I have to ask something first.

"That first day at the company…You knew who I was, didn't you?" I whisper and he gulps before he sighs and nods.

Feeling utterly foolish and naïve, I bite my lip and look away from him. His lips find my palm and he kisses it gently and my heart jumps. Suddenly, the bond, his behavior everything makes sense but it is too early for me to accept it. It's too much to process and instead of speaking, I bring my wrist closer to his mouth and watch with wide eyes as he latches onto the skin with eagerness. The chains around his body are loose and I push at them so he can free his hand. The moment his hand is free, he clasps my forearm and brings my hand even closer to his mouth before he starts to suck. My breath hitches as he nestles his head close to my chest and despite my anger at everything that has happened, I touch his hair with my free hand. His whimper of bliss is compensation enough for now.

End of chapter 9

Author's note: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Please, please review before you go. It's my only payment and I've got to know if you like it or not.

The ones waiting for an update on Holy Matrimony, please know that the second chapter is up now. So, if you haven't read it due to the technical glitch, you can do so now.

Until next time!

Xxx Lina ;o)