A/N: Heeeyyy it's been a while. Good news: my holiday starts in a few days so more time to write! Bad news: this is probably the second last chapter. Which kinda sneaked upon me; this is what happens when you don't plan ahead. Anyway, hope you like it and I promise there is (hopefully) a happy ending to this.

warnings for this chapter: mentally (and a bit physically) abusive relationship (in the past as a flashback) and attempted suicide.

-.::.-

"You're just so fucking worthless, Leo. You know that?"

Leo glanced up, watching Ashton walk across the room to his own bed. His green eyes were sober for once, but they were filled with the familiar disgust. Leo felt his stomach curl up.

"Oh?" He asked quietly, moving his gaze to the floor. He's right, a voice whispered in his head. You're nothing. Leo picked on the hem of his sleeve, trying not to scratch his arm. Ashton didn't know just how hopeless he was, and Leo didn't want to change that. Not yet anyway.

"Yeah. What good are you anyway? I don't even know why I still hang around you."

Leo closed his eyes, sighing. "Good question," he mumbled.

"I mean, at first you were fun to be around. And you're not that bad looking, either. But now you're just so... so dull. That's the word. You, Valdez, are a fucking dull, useless human." Suddenly Leo felt fingers lift his chin up lightly, and then he was looking at Ashton's smirking face. His eyes were twinkling, staring straight into Leo. "And I think you know that, too. Ain't that right?" Leo held his breath, panic and excitement settling on his stomach as Ashton moved closer, his lips hovering inches from Leo's. Leo's gaze zeroed on them, and from this distance he could easily make out every cut and line there. "You're fucking broken, Leo." And then their lips met, Ashton's teeth biting into Leo's lower lip and drawing blood while his hand traveled to Leo's neck, holding him in place. Leo could taste the irony liquid on his mouth, and smell the cigarette's Ashton had been smoking earlier, and feel the repulsion and the want to push Ashton away.

But he couldn't. Of course he couldn't. Because deep down, no matter what, Leo enjoyed this. Somewhere in his sick, twisted mind he loved this too much to let it go. It was a game for Ashton, he knew, and Leo was in too deep on it. He'd already lost a long time ago. And so he pushed against Ashton, arms flinging over the other boy's shoulders and fingers pulling his hair, and everything was pain but it was good pain, the one that made him feel something, and he fell down on the bed with Ashton on top of him, and–

Leo woke up from the floor, sitting straight up with his eyes wide open to check his surroundings. He was alone, with a blanket on his shoulders and his back aching. Everything from last night came back in a flash, and Leo felt his heart slow down a bit. He wasn't with Ashton, he'd been with Nico. He was alright. Looking around Leo noticed there was a tiny note left on the bed, resting on top of the covers. He got up shakily, letting the blanket drop from his shoulders and squinted at the neat (albeit a bit too curly) handwriting.

'Leo, went to call hazel & run by the shop. I'll be back by 12 or so – Nico'

Leo glanced at the clock on the wall; it showed 11:37. He picked the paper up and carefully folded it in half before placing it in his bag between his history book's pages. He tried to reason to himself that it wasn't creepy, but in reality he just wanted to have a reminder of Nico with him. Something real that made him remember that Nico wasn't just a fragment of his imagination. Not that he'd never really had that much problems separating dreams from reality, but one could never be too careful.

Especially after Ashton.

"Why the fuck did I have that dream again?" Leo asked out loud, taking a few steps backwards and sitting down on the edge of his bed. He buried his face in his hands, sighing. He could still feel Ashton's fingers on his skin, the warmth of his lips on his, and... It had been over year ago. Why now?

Because someone needs to remind you what a waste you are, a voice that sounded eerily like Ashton whispered in his ear. You didn't really think you could have a happy ever after, did you? You don't deserve that. Besides, Nico doesn't give a shit about you, you know?

"I know," Leo mumbled into his hands. "How could he ever like a fuck up like me? How could anyone?"

Exactly, the voice hummed. You're no good alive, Valdez. So why not just end it?

Leo lifted his head, staring blindly at the opposite wall. He never did fix those cracks there. It was probably too late now, anyway. Funny how some things seemed so important one moment and useless the next. Numbly Leo let himself sink to the floor, next to where Nico had left his bag. The voice had a point. What good was he alive? Ashton had been right, he was worthless. Nico was probably just pretending to be his friend anyway. And if he knew how deeply Leo felt for him, he would hate Leo just more. There was Piper, but she had Jason. She would survive without Leo there to burden her.

He eyed Nico's bag, remembering what the other boy had said last night. I cut myself. Surely that meant he had something sharp enough with him. Without a second thought Leo opened the bag, searching through it with care. For some reason he didn't want Nico to come back with all of his stuff thrown around.

He found the scissors on the bottom, under a sweater. He ignored the dried stains already covering them.

Leo's hands trembled as he brought the scissors to his wrists, shaking hard as he let the steel dance across his skin. Blood started dripping down in small rivers, crossing each other as they went before dropping on to the floor. Leo felt his vision blurring, his hands going numb, and he dropped the scissors with a cling and sank sideways to the floor. The welcoming darkness was taking over his mind, and Leo smiled hazily. Good, Valdez. Now no one has to deal with you anymore.

But before he slipped away into unconsciousness he could faintly hear the door being opened, and something being dropped, and Nico's voice. He was yelling – why was he yelling? Leo wanted to frown, but then someone was touching his arms and shaking his shoulders and he stopped trying to stay awake.

Everything went quiet.

-.::.-