Darkness surrounded her as the sound of laughter intensified. She called out and tried to reach out but the voices mocked her as hands shoved her this way and that. She attempted to scream but found that her throat was dry, not one syllable left her lips. Her left hand went to her throat and she found that couldn't swallow, she was suffocating and yet the laughter did not cease, it pierced her ears, her brain, her soul.

She gasped as her eyes shot open, heart racing and skin moist with sweat. She looked around and realized that she was safely in her own dormitory. The sun was peering through her window illuminating her shaking figure. She let out a long raspy breath and even uttered a chocked up giggle. She was fine, she was safe. The laughter that reached her ears from the common room was not mocking, it was distant and light.

Diana yawned, stretched, and climbed out of bed rubbing her sleepy eyes as her feet guided her to the shared bathroom. After making sure that both doors were locked she stepped into the large marble shower, shivering. She turned the snake-shaped knob of the faucet and moaned in pleasure when the warm water touched her skin. Her dream life was becoming increasingly better than her waking life (that is until her most current dream), and she wasn't sure if that was better or worse than her nightmares. She shook her head splashing water with her long raven-black hair. Of course it was better, at least the dreams made it easier to get up in the morning, at least she had something to smile about. The problem was the impossibility of her dreams. She could never be that sweet, innocent girl that belonged with Potter. And she could definitely never be the perfect regal Pure-blood that belonged alongside Draco Malfoy. The reality of her life always caught up to her when her eyes opened.

When Diana stepped out of the shower the entire room was inundated with the scent of vanilla. She smiled wearily and breathed in deeply as she combed back her long mane of raven hair. Her thick curls magically dried with every stroke of the brush until she was satisfied with the result.

Diana rummaged her closet for at least half an hour before she decided on what to wear; wash-blue skinny jeans and a snug green sweater accompanied by grey suede-leather boots. And it took her nearly another half-hour to master the necessary willpower to leave the room. "Just walk out, and go where ever your feet guide you," she demanded of herself.

Diana took a deep breath and stepped out of her dorm as the sound of laughter reached her ears. It sounded like a crowd, and there was only one laughter she recognized, Potter's. But she didn't turn back, she moved forward, no matter how much she wanted to lock herself in her bedroom and pretend she could be someone else. Harry had been avoiding her and bringing Ginny to their common room almost excessively for the past week. Diana scowled at the thought, she wasn't exactly sure what he was hoping to accomplish unless he was sending her the message "I'm with Ginny," which she read loud and clear. She swallowed and commanded herself to keep going.

At the foot of the stair however the laughing voices subsided and heads turned towards her. Potter and Ginny were as close as you could possibly be without actually being on each other. Weasley and Granger were sitting in an arm chair each while Neville Longbottom and Looney Lovegood shared the couch opposite the former pairing. Every eye was on her except for Potter's, his tennis shoes seemed to be a more interesting view. Diana said nothing as she walked past them and climbed out of the portrait hall.

However, once her feet touched the seventh floor corridor and the portrait door swung behind her, her resolve waivered. But when a scowling figure flashed by her at top speed she jumped to action and followed him down the stone steps.

"Hey," she said from behind him.

Draco jumped up, almost missing a step. "What-I didn't see you."

"Obviously," she said tauntingly.

"It's nice to see you out of bed on a Saturday afternoon," he said waiting for her to catch up to him.

"Did you change your mind about coming to see me?" she asked.

"What-Oh, yeah. I thought I would let you sleep for a few more hours," he said nonchalantly.

"Well, you should've come, I'm tired of depressing myself," she admitted with a shrug. They walked down the stone steps side by side.

"Good, I like this Diana better."

"Noted," she said grinning. Draco chuckled.

'

The flames from the fireplace and the lit lanterns danced around the long room, casting an eerie green glow. Yet to the various groups of Slytherins who leisured around the long black leather couches, or who threw fanged Frisbees at unexpected first years, or the ones who brandished firewhiskey around the long room, jumping on arm chairs and dancing exuberantly that green eerie glow was quite normal.

"If you fall, we will all laugh," said Blaise, who was trying to pry a bottle of firewhiskey from Jenny's hands.

"Oh come off it mate, that would have been amusing," drawled Draco from Diana's side.

"Screw you, Draco!" snapped Jenny flipping Draco off as Blaise finally managed to pry the bottle out of her hands.

Blaise took a large gulp and passed the bottle to Pansy. Both Pansy and Draco did the same, then they passed it to Diana, who took two gulps for good measure, and passed it to Mil. Mil looked perplexed to have been accepted into the little group, of course Pansy hadn't given them much of a choice and Draco seemed to be growing ever more lenient with her. She laughed out loud at the thought. As if Draco somehow was above Pansy or any of the girls in the room, because he was a man.

"What's so funny?" asked Blaise.

"Some of my inner thoughts can be quite amusing, but I don't feel like sharing."

"Anyways," said Jenny, she had possession of the bottle again. "We should all play a game, but this place is sooo crowded."

They all turned to Diana. She rolled her eyes. "Fine, but hide that bottle and come on you lot before it gets too late and we all get into trouble."

"Got it!" hiccupped Jenny.

"Okay, give me that," said Blaise taking the bottle from Jenny's hand.

"Down we go," she giggled as Blaise helped her off the coffee table.

Jenny mumbled something Diana couldn't quite hear and rested her head of long golden hair on Blaise's wide shoulder. Blaise gave Diana an apologetic look and she shrugged, though she appreciated the gesture.

'

Thankfully the journey from the dungeons to the seventh floor was uninterrupted unless Jenny's excursion into the third floor girl's bathroom where Moaning Myrtle shrieked inconsolably because according to the ghost Jenny had purged her dinner all over-through her doesn't count. And Jenny obviously didn't count it.

"Did you see her face," shrilled Pansy, she wasn't far from reaching Jenny's level. The latter was at the moment boldly and openly flirting with Blaise, he on the other hand was keeping his distance.

"You're drunk," he kept saying to her until finally she gave up and took to dancing on top of a red armchair instead. Blaise and Draco watched her, eyes barely blinking. Jenny was after all earth-shatteringly beautiful.

"Don't look so bitter," said Draco into her ear.

"I'm not," she said dismissively.

"Mil, come dance with me," said Jenny extending her arm to the bewildered girl.

"Me-"

"Oh come on, loosen up," jeered Jenny as she jumped out of the armchair, lost her balance and regained it with a satisfied grin. She grabbed Mil's upper arm and dragged her to the middle of the room, casting the coffee table aside with a flick of her wand.

"Watch it," Diana hissed. "I have a roommate."

"Ugh, who cares about scarhead," said Draco passing the bottle to her.

She didn't reply but took a large gulp of firewhiskey and passed it to Blaise who was watching Jenny and Mil grinning. Blaise took one long-deep swallow and walked over to the dancing girls, he handed the bottle to Mil, who took it gratefully. She then passed the bottle to Gregory, who had been sitting next to Vincent on the couch watching the show without uttering much more than agreeable grunts. And before Mil could protest Jenny had taken a hold of her arm and dragged the flabbergasted girl to the center of the room again. From Draco's other side Pansy gave Mil an apologetic look.

"You don't seem to be enjoying yourself," said Draco making her jerk.

"Better than being alone," she said truthfully. Draco did not reply.

"Dance with me Draco," said Pansy taking a deep chug from the almost empty bottle of firewhiskey.

He smiled at Pansy and took her hand. Diana's heart sunk. He had actually smiled at her, no grin, no smirk, an actual Draco Malfoy smile. She wouldn't admit it, not even to herself but at that very moment she was bitter. He handed the bottle to Diana and let himself be guided to where the two giggling girls danced and spun around.

"Would asking you to dance be in the "no-friend" zone," asked Blaise. For the second time that night Diana was startled. Distracted in her bitterness she had not noticed Blaise approaching.

"Guess not," she said taking a long gulp of firewhiskey and setting it on one of the study tables.

'

The music that boomed (though Diana swore it hadn't been that loud ten minutes ago) was the type of music that was played in Wizarding clubs, loud and rhythmic. The couches, armchairs, and tables were magically pushed against the walls, leaving enough room for a small dance floor. Diana moved her hips to the rhythm of the music, noticing even in her drunken stupor Blaise's closeness. The way his hands rested on either side of her hips, or the way his breath tickled the back of her neck.

She made to push away but felt herself being spun around yet it wasn't Blaise's gaze she met, it was Draco's. His icy-blue eyes flashed with mischief, and she didn't question it. She grinned up at him and let herself go, enjoying the moment, the music, and their intertwined bodies. The pressure of his hold tightened, almost bruising her as she shut her eyes but did not protest. In truth she did not want him to let her go. Draco's long and agile fingers caressed the length of her back under her sweater as she shivered under him and small noises escaped her lips. She opened her eyes to see that he was staring back at her, a very primal expression on his face. An expression that he had never before directed towards her. And she feared it. Not because she felt threatened but because for a split second she mirrored it. Diana pulled back, eyes wide and fearful.

"What-" began Draco.

"I'm really hot," said Diana cutting him off.

"But you're shaking," he said eyeing her with concern.

"I need to change out of this sweater," she said automatically running up to her dormitory.

In her dormitory she jerked off the sweater, shaking not because of physical discomfort but because of what she was feeling.

For the third time that night she jumped up, there was a knock on the door and then a voice said, "Can I come in?"

Diana spanned around and opened the door wide as Potter stepped in.

"Oh-I'm sorry I didn't realize you were-not dressed."

"What does it matter," she said flopping down on her bed. "You're with Ginny and you've made that pretty clear," she said without much of a preempt.

"I-Well I am but-"

"But what?" she snapped sprinting up to her feet but losing her balance and landing on her arse. "Could I be any more pathetic," she slurred.

"You are not pathetic, just drunk," he said helping her to her feet.

She looked up at him and they locked eyes for a second but he looked away letting her go.

"Are you scared to be alone with me?"

"No, or I wouldn't be here right now."

"But I mean technically speaking we're not alone, my mates are downstairs."

She closed the short distance between them aware of the way his eyes wandered.

"Are you scared of me?"

"No, I'm not scared of you. I just came here to tell you to lower the music because I'm trying to sleep," he said not meeting her gaze.

"Alone?"

"What-yes, alone."

"Can't promise anything. You know, rowdy inebriated Slytherins out there."

Potter said nothing.

"I should finish undressing then," she said and unbuttoned her pants. Potter looked up at her incredulously but did not back away as she slid her jeans to the floor.

"No one else has ever touched me, the thought alone repulsed me, yet you Harry Potter have awoken something in me that will not be dormant."

He swallowed hard, but did not look away nor did he move away. Diana grabbed his hand and he let her. She pressed it against her cheek and her lips. He looked almost mesmerized.

"I'm with Ginny," he whispered more to himself than to her.

"I don't care."

But he shook his head and let his hand fall to his side as turned on his heel and walked away leaving her to stare at his retreating back.

She didn't call out to him, she wouldn't dare. Yet, no matter what he said, no matter how many times he walked away from her she knew that there was a part of him that craved for her as much as she craved for him.

She stared at the place where Potter had disappeared and thought back on Draco and the inexplicable lust she had felt for him for first time in her life. They were friends, they had always been friends, but the look she bestowed upon him, and the wonderful sensations he had caused were far from friendly. Yet, it all traced back to Potter, he freed something in her that both terrified and exhilarated her.

But not Draco, never Draco. Those thoughts were reserved to the dreams she could not control. She told herself as she walked into her closet.

'

As Diana made her way back downstairs Jenny ran at full speed up the stairs to the bathroom, hands covering her mouth.

"I told her she had too much to drink," said Blaise who was at the foot of the stairs. Diana shrugged. She could care less if she was perfectly honest.

She meant to confront Draco but the scene before her made any confrontation downright ridiculous. He was pressing Pansy against a clutter free wall, her legs were wrapped around his waist, his hips moving not exactly with the booming music but with a rhythm of his own. She swayed on the spot. One thing was to see him snogging every which girl he wanted and another very different was to see him shagging Pansy in HER own common room after he had...she pursed her lips and turned her back on the scene.

Blaise had been watching her the whole time and his look was one of disappointment and resignation. She went to go to him, but he lifted his hand as if to say there was no need. Diana nodded and watched as he went to Mil instead. Mil smiled up at him, as if he were the most beautiful thing in the world, and he smirked back, but his eyes did not reflect her longing just the need to forget.

Not for the first time amongst this group she felt isolated and much the outlander. Involuntarily she turned back to Draco, but they were no longer pressed against the stone wall. Her unwilling eyes searched for their intertwined forms to find that they had ventured to the couch, but it was Pansy who straddled him as he looked up at her not hungrily but almost lovingly. She wished she hadn't seen it, she wished he hadn't turned his head and caught her eyes. She wished more than anything to erase the memory of his questioning look as he made love to someone who will never be her.

Diana turned her back on the scene but Blaise made it if anything easier to walk away. Mil was on top her study table, her legs snaked around Blaise's waist as she kissed his neck. However, Blaise's eyes were directed towards Diana with a taunting and contentious look. She scowled at him but said nothing. And Mil in her inebriated state and in the midst of her passion was none the wiser.

Diana wrapped her arms around herself and made her way back up the stairs with as much dignity as she could muster. She refused to turn back to Draco and for the first time in their long friendship she wished never to see his platinum hair laying beside her again.

Unfortunately if Diana had a single inkling that her night was over she was sadly mistaken. Jenny was sprawled on her bathroom floor, yet her upper body was supported by Potter.

"She fainted on me," he said sheepishly. Diana groaned.

"Come on, let's put her on my bed," she said walking over to them and lifting Jenny's legs up. Together they lifted her up and hurtled her unceremoniously unto Diana's bed.

Potter didn't hesitate and made to walk away but she grabbed his upper arm making him turn to look at her.

"I'm sorry. I acted like an idiot. I value the friendship you've given me thus far, don't take it away because of one foolish night."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them his emerald-green eyes were intense and determined.

"Has it been only one night Sylthen?"

She did not reply but she didn't let go of his arm either. They stood there for a while looking into each others eyes, neither of them knowing what to say nor sure if they wanted to walk away.

Potter broke the silence. "When she knocked on my door," he said pointing at Jenny, "I thought it was you and you know what I did, I opened it. Instead of ignoring it, ignoring you, I opened the bloody door."

"Why?" She thought she knew the answer but she wanted to hear him say it.

He shook his head and looked down. She waited patiently until he finally said, "Because you too have awoken something in me."

He looked up at her then and she didn't think twice, she kissed him before she lost her nerve. But the kiss was chaste for he was pulling away, shaking his head.

"Are you going to hide from me forever?"

"Please don't mock me, I'm only doing what's right."

"And does this feel wrong," she said taking a hold of his right hand and pressing it against her left cheek.

"No matter what attraction I may have for you, I love Ginny, and I will always love her."

Diana let his hand go and he dropped it to his side. She nodded up at him and said, "Alright, I promise I will keep my distance, now please go."

"I-"

"Go."

And he did.

'

The weeks that followed passed by in a daze and before Diana had noticed it was time to head home for the Christmas holidays. She dreaded going home, there was nothing waiting for her there. But she wouldn't pounder on such things, instead she pushed the thought aside and perused "Advance Potion Making grade 7" with a sour expression on her face. She had been re-reading the Draught of Living Death over and over again until all it's steps were tattooed verbatim into her retina. She looked up from her book only when she heard the sound of descending footsteps, but she wished she hadn't. Ginerva Weasley was descending the stairs unaccompanied but with a wide smile upon her face. At a closer look Diana noticed that her clothes and hair seemed ruffled. Diana gave her the most contemptuous look she could muster when Ginny met her eyes. Ginny reciprocated the look and without a word left the common room.

Diana looked back down at "Advance Potion Making" without really looking at the words on the book. She had as promised kept her distance from Potter just as Draco had been seeking her out almost persistently. But she wouldn't budge, and it was mostly in part because she didn't fully understand where her rage with him came from. She shook her head, that was also a lie, but if she admitted even for one second the truth of her feelings it would lead to something she wasn't sure she wanted. The sound of footsteps woke her from her reverie and she looked up.

Potter was descending the steps to the common room with his eyes on her, his look was one of determination. Diana watched as he moved towards her and then finally took the seat across from her. She waited until he spoke.

"Where are you going for the Christmas holidays?" Harry asked boldly.

"Excuse me, but is that any of your business?" She snapped back.

"It might not be but I'm making it my business."

"Sod off Potter," she said uttering his surname as if it were a curse word.

He ignored this. "I just want to know that you won't be heading home," he said looking into her eyes. She could see that he was worried about her and then suddenly it dawned on her.

"Oh," she said stupidly.

"You won't will you?"

She stared into his eyes for a few moments before answering.

"Of course not. I've arranged to stay here," she lied slyly.

Harry Potter's face brightened, the tension in his body seemed to disappear.

"Good," he said with a sheepish smile.

"You shouldn't worry about me so much, it will send the wrong impression."

"I care about you because you are my friend."

"That's great," she said in bored tones.

Then all over a sudden she saw how his body tensed up again.

"You wouldn't lie to me would you?"

"Why would I? Plus I haven't even packed and the Christmas holidays start tomorrow."

This time he didn't look convinced.

"Come off it Potter, I will be fine."

"Because you're staying here?" He asked not at all convinced.

"Exactly. Now I will be in my dormitory, not packing," she said lamely grabbing her potions book and heading to her bedroom.

He didn't stop her but she felt his eyes on the back of her head all the way up to her dormitory.

'

The next morning arrived far too quickly to Diana's liking. The time on her watch read 7 o'clock but she climbed out of bed and got dress. She didn't dare shower unless she awoke Potter; she was immensely grateful and it honestly meant the world to her that he cared so much, but this was something he didn't understand, this was something she could not control and the one thing she had not admitted to him. She was now 17 years of age and yet was bound to return home if her father so wished it by an ancient magic she nor anyone else could undo.

Once fully dressed, she stepped out of her dorm and out of the Head common room as quietly as she possibly could. The portrait door closed behind her and she raced through the hall and down the stone steps not because she was in a rush to get home but because she feared what would happen if Potter tried to stop her.

'

She apparated before the black gates of her home as a very familiar dread settled upon her. She swallowed hard and pushed the gates open. The walk towards the mansion was not gloomy nor dark, no, instead the sun shone bright on the green, green grass as the birds chirped and sung their songs. This did nothing to lift up her spirits, it only intensified her dread. What evil could lurk in a house as peaceful and as beautiful as this? It was picture perfect, just like she was meant to be. But inside this house lurked her worse nightmares, just like deep inside she was nothing more than a damaged, selfish soul.