Charles felt Hank's hand on his shoulder and he realized that his friend must have been talking to him for a while now. He had stared at the opposite wall, lost in the pain he had felt, when Spike had been shot. Oh, god! Why did it end this way? Why did that man have to shoot him? That hadn't been necessary.
Hank carefully reached for Charles' wrists and gently pulled at them, to make him take his hands off his mouth.
"Charles? Come on, snap out of it. Please! Tell me what happened? Are you hurt?"
The pleading voice of his friend finally reached him and the telepath swallowed, then closed his eyes and shook his head.
"No, I'm not hurt." Charles was too shaken to say more than that and so he decided to explain it all telepathically.
Hank stared at him when he was done. "But you saved us all. Who knows what they would have done to the school, the kids, if the situation would have escalated. You did the right thing. An army with Magneto's power at its disposal...? It doesn't bear thinking about."
Erik. Yes...
He had to tell Erik that everything was over, that he was safe for now. It began to dawn on Charles that he had told Erik to hide in the metal room. A room only he and Hank had known about..until today. It had been designed for only one person and now this person was inside it. Charles had hoped for so long, that Erik would one day set foot in this room, but he had lost hope for so many things a long time ago. But now...it had happened...not the way he had imagined. He had wished to be by Erik's side when his friend saw it for the first time, but well...at least he was in there now, safe and sound. Not captured by the military, not being experimented on again. That was the only thing that mattered. Erik was here and he had told him that he would never leave again. Could he truly believe that?
He desperately wanted to, of course, but should he do it? Should he hope again? Erik was known for his sudden and radical decisions. What if something like Cuba or Paris happened again? Would Charles be able to pick himself up if Erik shattered his hope a third time?
He felt a panic attack creeping up on him, because the answer to that last question was too devastating. He didn't even want to think those two letters, he wouldn't allow himself to go there. He could feel how his breathing got out of control and he looked at Hank, seeking help. He knew he couldn't beat this on his own, he had never been able to figure out how. Once he had tried to fight it for an hour before he finally passed out. Only Hank was able to stop these attacks. At times it didn't even take him two minutes to do it. Charles had no explanation for that.
He didn't have to tell Hank what was happening to him. Hank knew in an instant that his friend was on the brink of a panic attack. And so he swiftly stepped behind the wheelchair and pressed a hand onto Charles' chest.
"Whatever you are thinking...stop it."
Charles' breathing slowed down immediately and he was able to push those horrid thoughts away. Hank was here and would always be there for him. He had promised him that. And the last two years had been proof enough that Hank was a man who was true to his word. Hank would never leave him. Right?
"I'm not gonna leave you. Stop thinking about that. I told you a hundred times before, I won't go anywhere."
Shit! Did he say it out loud? Or did he send those thoughts to Hanks mind? Charles turned his head and looked at Hank. He didn't even have to say anything. Hank knew exactly what he wanted to ask.
"Yes, you asked me telepathically but judging by the look on your face, I'd say it wasn't your intention to ask telepathically or to ask at all. Am I right?"
Charles nodded absentmindedly. How did that happen? He didn't even recall the connection his mind had made with Hank's.
"Don't overthink this. It happened a lot in the past, remember? This is just another sign that you need to take care of yourself. Food, for instance. I think it would be a good idea to eat something. Let's get Erik and then the two of you should have breakfast."
Charles was about to say that he wasn't hungry but he knew that his friend was right. He shouldn't go back to his old behaviour. If his body suffered, his mind wouldn't be strong enough to keep up the carefully placed shields and that would result in moments like the one before. Thoughts would leak through his shields into other people's minds, without him being able to control what or to whom. He had to admit that he hadn't been that nice to his body in the past few days.
"You're right, Hank", Charles said and they both headed for the hidden room. A few minutes later, the telepath muttered: "I'm...I'm glad you're here."
Hank smiled and it made Charles feel better in an instant. Those smiles, however brief and fleeting they were, had been a rare thing for a long time. Probably as rare as Charles' smiles.
They had reached the hidden door and waited for an opportunity to open it without being seen by anyone. Each of them had a key to this room, the only two that existed, and Hank inserted his key into the small and almost invisible keyhole. Everyone who would walk past by the door, would dismiss the keyhole as a tiny anomaly in the wood.
A few months after Cuba, Hank had the idea to build Cerebro in one of the bunkers beneath the mansion and since Charles had to make the people, who delivered the building materials, forget what they had seen here anyway, he decided to launch a project of his own. And so the various builders created the metal room without knowing what they had done afterwards. Charles made them think it had just been a regular old-building renovation. Of course this didn't go unnoticed by Hank and he had figured out quite soon that the room was being built for one person and one person only. Erik. But Hank hadn't said anything, there was no need to. Charles had had a glimpse into his friend's mind and had seen that he didn't share the hope that Erik would one day come back to the mansion and live here. But he had been glad that Charles had found something to focus on and so he had let him continue without asking any questions about it. Many years had passed since then and Charles had tried to forget the room, because it had been foolish to think that Erik would come back to him.
And now... Erik was in there, he really was. Charles took a deep breath before he steered his wheelchair over the threshold and into the room. Hank came in too and closed the door behind them.
The room looked just like the day he had decided to never enter it again and had turned the key to close the door for good. Back then he had hoped that all his memories of Erik would stay in this room as well, but they didn't, they followed him around, every day, every night. He hadn't been able to escape them, like Erik had done it.
Only the stale air and the amount of dust that had settled on every surface, indicated that no one had entered this room for years. The sight of Erik lying on the bed, tossing and turning, drenched in sweat, stopped Charles' reminiscent mood immediately. He looked inside Erik's mind but couldn't make any sense of what he saw. He was dreaming but the fever turned everything into a distorted and blurred nightmarish scene. Erik, wake up. Charles moved closer to the bed and touched Erik's forehead in an attempt to wake him up. He tried to reach his friend telepathically through the thick clouds of the delirium, calling his name, calming his mind, but to no avail. Charles turned around to address Hank: "We have to get him to Serena, as fast as possible." Hank simply nodded, took his glasses off and changed into his blue form, into Beast. Since Charles' wish was, that this room should stay a secret as long as possible, Hank had to carry Erik out of here, and only in his blue form was he able to do that. He was considerably stronger that way and so picking up Erik from the bed and carrying him out of the hidden room and down the stairs to the sick room Erik and Charles had spent last night in, was not much of a challenge. Charles closed the door of the metal room and followed them as fast as he could.
For two days Hank had watched Charles getting weaker and weaker. Worry and fear were eating the telepath up. He never left Erik's side, he barely ate, drank or slept.
Serena had told them, that she had to use stronger medication now and that Erik would sleep most of the time so that his body had a better chance fighting the infection. She had read them the riot act for letting Erik get up again but come on...who could stop Erik, if he sets his mind on something?
So Charles had stayed with Erik. Lying on the bed next to him, holding his hand. There had been nothing Hank could have done and so he had decided to carry out his duty again. He had abandoned the kids for too long anyway. As long as Charles would stay by Erik's side, Serena would watch over them both and in the breaks between classes, Hank would personally check on Charles. And that was exactly what he would do again in a few minutes.
The students were already excited about the upcoming school trip on the following weekend, and it was hard for them to concentrate. School trips were rare and this one would be a very special one. Hank had planned to take them to a secluded house next to a lake in the woods a three hour drive from the mansion. They would stay there for four days, hiking, swimming, studying wildlife, reading or simply relaxing, enjoying the summer sun.
Hank dismissed them for the day and gathered his documents and books, ready to head out of the room, when a young girl came up to him.
"Is the professor sick? He's not teaching and I saw him with the doctor."
Hank smiled and said: "No, he's not sick. He is just worried because his friend is sick."
"So will he come to the lake house too?"
Oh, there it was again. The same question every time there was a school trip.
Charles had never joined them in the past, but nevertheless, the students seemed to hope for that to change one day. For two years now, Charles had never left the mansion, not once. Except for the time he had spent in the hospital after Hank had discovered what he had done to himself. But other than that...he had always stayed inside.
"I will ask him," Hank said and shrugged, "but don't get your hopes up too much."
The young girl nodded with a sad look on her face and walked away. Hank sighed. It would do Charles good to spend some time with the students outside the class rooms. They loved him. Hank had to convince him to join them on the school trip. The trip was in four days and maybe Erik was feeling better until then, maybe he could come too? Well, those plans had to wait now. He had to make sure that Charles survived the next days, before thinking about the weekend.
He reached the room Erik and Charles were in, he opened the door and stepped inside. The familiar beeping sound of the machines around Erik's bed could be heard, but other than that, it was quiet. Hank hesitated, something was wrong and a second later he realized what it was. Charles' bed was empty. Erik was still lying in his, asleep. Frantically, Hank scanned the room for any signs of the telepath and there he was, lying on the floor between the bed and his wheelchair. The books and documents, Hank had carried around, fell to the floor as he rushed to his friend's side. Charles seemed to be unconscious but there were no visible wounds and Hank shook him gently and called his name. Suddenly Charles' eyes fluttered open and as his vision slowly seemed to clear, he recognized Hank and made a weak attempt to smile at him.
"What happened, Charles?" Hank asked, "and stop smiling, you can't fool me anymore. You're not fine."
Charles took a deep breath before he responded: "I tried to get into the wheelchair but I fainted. That's all. It's not a big deal."
"Not a big...?!" Hank had to stop mid-sentence because right now, he felt like screaming at Charles. How could he be so painfully ignorant when it came to his own health? It was infuriating.
He decided not to start a discussion about it, because it wouldn't get them anywhere. Instead he took action. He lifted Charles up, carefully sat him down in his wheelchair and slowly pushed the wheelchair in front of him, while walking out of the room.
"Hank? What are you doing? I have to stay here!" Charles almost shouted.
"No, you don't. Erik has to fight this on his own. You can't do anything but wait."
"No, you don't understand. I have to be there when he wakes up."
"You won't be anywhere if you don't start to take care of yourself. What do you think Erik would do if he wakes up and finds out you died because you stopped eating while waiting for him to recover?"
Hank saw that those words had an effect on his friend, because he frowned at first and then simply nodded to signal that he had understood. Relief washed over Hank. Now he had found something that would make Charles cooperate.
When they reached Charles' room, Hank headed for the bathroom and pushed the wheelchair inside. Charles opened his mouth to protest but before he could say anything, Hank chimed in: "Believe me, you need a bath and a shave, and before you say anything I won't leave you alone. I'm not gonna risk you drowning in the bathtub, because you fainted."
Charles closed his mouth again and started to take off his clothes but Hank had to help him, because it was obvious that his friend felt already dizzy after taking his shirt off. It wasn't such a strange thing for him. Hank had had to bathe Charles numerous times in the past years but he could tell that Charles still didn't feel at ease with this. He always avoided looking at Hank or at his own body. The gruesome result of his self-destructive actions a year ago, was hard to look at and it made Hank feel guilty. Although he knew that none of it had been his fault but he wished he had been able to prevent it all. Then again...if a telepath wanted to hide something, no one would be able to detect it.
Hank sighed and continued to wash Charles, after he was done, he lifted him out of the bathtub, wrapped him in a big bath towel and carried him to the bed. Charles' eyes were already closing and by the time Hank had laid him down onto the bed, he was fast asleep. That was a good thing. It gave Hank time to go downstairs to the kitchen, to prepare some food, without worrying what Charles might be up to while he was gone.
Soon he returned with a tray and on it was a plate full of steaming rice and vegetables and a cup of tea. The sight of Charles sleeping peacefully was so calming and rare that he considered to let him sleep, but only for a second, because Charles really needed to eat something.
Hank woke him up and helped him put on some comfortable pants and a shirt. And when Hank put the tray in front of Charles, he was surprised that his friend took the fork into his shaking hand and started to eat without any further protest or hesitation. After the meal, Charles fell immediately asleep again. Hank stayed and watched over him, smiling. Maybe Erik's appearance turned out to be a good thing after all. Now he just had to survive this infection. Hank couldn't care less for Erik but if he died, it would destroy Charles for good.