Soon the nature of Lucille's ailment becomes evident. I have spent enough time in my pregnant cousins' houses to recognize the symptoms. The paleness, the lack of appetite, the weariness, the constant mood swings and the swelling of hands and face. I talk to Thomas and he confirms my suspicions. Together we come up with what we think is a perfect arrangement
.
I can understand everything now, my eyes are open at last. We can't hire a maid, we can't go to church because nobody must know. Poor Lucille, why hasn't she confided in me?
With a tray of tea and cucumber sandwiches I go to her room. I'm determined to have an honest conversation with my sister-in-law. Lucille claims she has no appetite but she takes a few sips of tea.
'Dear sister. I am so sorry. I haven't always been considerate enough. Can you forgive me?' I ask crouching close to her, taking her hand into mine.
'So you know' she says.
'I know and I want you to know that you can trust me. I'll do everything I can to help'
'What can you do?' she sneers.
'First of all, we won't hire any help. We don't want anyone to know. I'll do everything by myself. I'll take on some of Thomas' workload too so he can focus only on you and his inventions'
'Well yes, he has planned to order some new parts' she says and smiles gently.
'When the child is born we can pretend it's mine to prevent a scandal but...you will still have the deciding voice in his or her upbringing' I add hastily.
Maybe I am mistaken but I think I can see tears glistening in her eyes
'At first, at first...' she says slowly 'I wanted to get rid of it, drink some herbs or... you know. But then I thought what if it's a little boy like... anyway... I couldn't. Then, I was thinking of having him in secret and leaving on some church's doorstep. But no. I can raise him on my own, here in Allerdale with Thomas, I am not ashamed'
This is not a good moment to remind her that Thomas is actually my husband. At least now I understand why he has been so indulgent towards her. Poor Lucille. I think it happened when we were all in Italy. So easy to lose your head when you are away from home in a foreign country. I wonder who managed to steal her heart.
'Of course, I agree there is no shame in it' I say 'But people may think differently and while I believe you are strong enough to raise a child on your own, I beseech you, think of the future. He or she can have a name and legal parentage but you will be the real mother'
She nods her head.
'I'll call Thomas. You'll probably want to discuss it between yourselves' I offer and clean the tea tray.
I find Thomas standing right behind the door. I think he has heard everything. He can't enter his sister's room right away. She would now that we had been conspiring together and she wouldn't like it. I show him three fingers. Thomas nods. He will wait three minutes before going in. I smile and go to the kitchen to wash the dishes.