This week on Star Vacation: What is the Captain of the Postulate to do when a scout has come back positive? Read Chapter Ten to find out. Plus, Evelyn is in for a big surprise!
Chapter Ten: Gone!
After several moments of intense contemplation, Captain McCrea pressed the flashing green button on the button pad. In an instant, a loud alarm blared throughout the room, and metal shields came down over all the windows. Then, a holographic video screen turned on, displaying the ShoppyMart logo and the company's imperial fanfare played in the background. The image then switched to that of an elderly, but well-groomed man standing at a podium, with ShoppyMart emblems decorating the stage. This man was Palpatine Forthright; he was the Emperor of ShoppyMart. McCrea, Evelyn, Auto, and Grand Moff Gopher all turned their attention to the screen.
"Greetings, Captain!" announced the Emperor, on-screen, "If you're watching this, that means that your Expert Vegetable Extractor, or simply put, 'plant scout', has returned with a confirmed specimen of ongoing photosynthesis, or a 'vegetable'. This means that Earth has been returned to a life-sustaining status. Yes, it's time to go back home!"
"Home?" McCrea was baffled, "You mean like 'home', home?"
"Yes!" continued the Emperor, "This means we can begin Operation: Return-Home-And-Rebuild-This-Dump-And-Make-It-Nice-And-Welcoming!"
At that moment, a shelf opened, and ejected a red book, that read "Operation: Return-Home-And-Rebuild-This-Dump-And-Make-It-Nice-And-Welcoming Manual". However, Wallace was in the way, so he caught the book. Knowing that the Captain would hover over to pick up the old book, he posed himself as a book podium. McCrea took the book, not even noticing that Wallace was holding it.
"Simply follow your manual's instructions to place the vegetable in your ship's holographic detection confirmator-inator, or holo-detector," the Emperor instructed, "and the -Postulate- will immediately navigate your return to Earth. It's that easy!"
"Ooooh," Captain McCrea was amazed.
"Now, I know that you and your passengers may have sustained some 'slight' bone loss," continued the Emperor, "but don't worry; a few laps around the jogging track should do the trick."
"We have a jogging track?" Captain McCrea asked himself, puzzled, "Next thing he's gonna tell me is that we have a pool."
"If you have any more questions concerning your holographic detection confirmator-inator, just consult you manual," concluded the Emperor, "See you back home, real soon."
The transmission ended with a ShoppyMart fanfare. McCrea, now holding an ancient document he had no idea was hidden in the command bridge for seven centuries, was trying to make sense of all the commotion that was surrounding this sudden turn of events, all centered on one scout who seemed to have returned positive.
"Operate Manuel," McCrea had trouble reading the title of the book, "Manuel, relay instructions! Manuel, open."
"This is hopeless," Auto Pirate sighed. He then went over to open the manual for Captain McCrea.
"Ok, would you look at that," McCrea was astonished, "That's a whole lotta words."
As the Captain conversed with his co-pilot about the instructions given in the manual, Evelyn stood there calmly with her hands folded, awaiting her next order. As she did, Wallace made his way towards the scout, and gave her a slight tap on her arm.
"Not now, Wallace―" Evelyn answered, "WALLACE?! What are you doing here?!"
Evelyn pushed Wallace into a corner. She was in shock that the little dumpster diver followed her to the Postulate.
"Wallace, how did you get here?" Evelyn demanded to know, "You're gonna get me in trouble! Do you know that this is important? You're presence here could ruin my whole directive!"
As Evelyn continued her inquiry and scolding, Wallace stared at her, only watching her movements and dismissing her words as noise.
"Oh, Evelyn," Wallace sighed, "You're pretty glossy lips are moving but all I hear is blah, blah, blah."
Wallace completely ignored her reprimanding, and started daydreaming about her being much nicer.
"And you'd better not be daydreaming about me!" Evelyn continued fuming, "Because if you are, then I'm gonna be very, very―"
Meanwhile, in another corner, McCrea was trying his hardest to read the words printed on the red manual. After a few moments, he spoke.
"Well, Auto," McCrea began, "Let's see how to open her backpack, shall we?"
Evelyn tried her hardest to hide Wallace under a control panel, when McCrea suddenly activated a voice command.
"Step 1," began McCrea, "Voice Command: Confirm Acquisition."
"Confirm acquisition!" announced the Postulate computer. Green lights activated in the roof, and a machine came down to scan the bridge, when it found Evelyn.
"Well, I'm pretty sure my father will be please with my findings," Evelyn told herself.
"Voice recognition required," said the computer.
McCrea didn't know what to say, "Uh," he responded.
"Accepted," replied the computer.
Evelyn detached the white backpack on the back of her dress. She held it up to the machine on the ceiling, which began pressing an activation code on the pack. Everyone was abruptly overwhelmed by a feeling of anxiety and wonder at the same time. McCrea hid behind the manual, and Wallace hid himself behind the scenes as to not interrupt, but Auto Pirate and Grand Moff Gopher watched this event indifferently, yet very suspiciously, as if they were waiting for something to happen. When Evelyn opened here backpack, it was empty. Nothing was inside. Everybody was silent for a moment, until the scout looked inside her bag.
"Hey, where's the celery!" Evelyn cried, "I know I had it in here!"
"Wh—where's the thingy?" McCrea was stunned.
"Plant," Auto Pirate corrected.
"Right, where's the plant?!" Captain McCrea asked again, "Maybe we missed a step."
As McCrea read the manual again, Evelyn double-checked her backpack where she stored the celery, making sure it wasn't lost inside. She also looked in her shoes and dress to see if it didn't fall inside her clothes. Unfortunately, she grew inexplicably desperate, so she scouted the entire bridge for the celery, until a lightbulb went off in her head: WALLACE!, she thought.
"Where's the celery?!" Evelyn demanded to know.
"I don't know," Wallace answered nervously, "I thought you had it…"
In a flurry of hysteria, Evelyn opened a drawer and pulled out a vegetable detector device from a storage compartment, and pressed it against Wallace, searching him frantically for her missing vegetable.
"Whoa there Evelyn!" Wallace laughed, "Take it easy; besides, I don't know where in the galaxy the celery could have ended up."
"Perhaps you should scan her to be sure," Captain McCrea suggested to Auto Pirate.
Evelyn returned to her position as Auto Pirate scanned her along with her backpack with a red beam.
"Contains no specimen," reported Auto Pirate, "Perhaps the probe's memory is faulty."
"So, we're not going home?" McCrea asked, confused.
"Correct, Captain," Auto answered his master.
"Well then," began McCrea, "False alarm!"
"False alarm," announced the computer. In an instant, the window shields were raised, and the sunny view of the lido deck was restored.
"Hey, Grand Moff Gopher," McCrea called, "I'd like you to take Evelyn down to the I.C.U., and run a routine maintenance check, you know, just to make sure she's not hallucinating or anything―AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Captain McCrea had caught sight of Wallace. He was in shock to see that someone so grimy and soiled has found his way into the bridge.
What in the world is that? the Captain grew confused.
Wallace walked up to McCrea to introduce himself to the portly man, in order to give him a handshake. He didn't know why McCrea was in shock, however.
"Hey there, my name's Wallace," he introduced himself, shaking the Captain's hand, "Fancy meeting you, Captain."
"Have Wallace cleaned," McCrea ordered Gopher.
As the officer led Wallace away, McCrea looked at a speck of dirt he had received on his large, round hand from Wallace's handshake. He stared at it, wondering what it was.
The celery is gone! Who could have possibly committed such a theft?!
ANNOUNCER: On the next chapter of Star Vacation:
EVELYN: Greetings, readers, this is Evelyn McCrea, with some food for thought to share. So you know how you've just woken up in the command bridge, only to find out that the botany specimen you've collected has all of a sudden vanished?! I'm pretty sure Wallace is responsible; that celery was part of his collection first.
ANNOUNCER: Next Time...
EVELYN: "The I.C.U. Incident"; look forward to it, because I'm dreading that ward.