Claustrophobia
Chapter Ten
He heard her moan as she turned her head toward him.
"Oh, oh, I am so sorry Sir."
Reaching up to touch her noticeable bump she said,
"I must have hit my head."
It was Spock's hand on her shoulder that prevented her from sitting upright. He searched her face for signs of pain. She attempted to move her head and he touched her hand,
"Please be still cadet, you have suffered a concussion and must remain still for quite a few hours. I will remain here with you to monitor your progress toward complete recovery. Do you understand me?"
She whispered,
"Yes, Sir."
She sighed and asked the question,
"Sir, will this event seriously affect my rating for this exercise?"
"No."
He noticed a tear slip down the side of her head and he raised his shields and then reached down and with his bare fingers wiped it off and caught his breath as her eyes locked onto his.
"Captain, I am sorry that I have ruined the simulation…"
"On the contrary Cadet, all the crew and sites had been evaluated prior to your accident. This simulation has been, as Terran's would say, 'a resounding success'. Please do not trouble yourself with feelings of guilt, for there is a positive element in this incident, as what happened should reveal to the crew that space travel comes complete with shock, surprise, injury and for some, the ultimate sacrifice. In addition, since you are not to sleep, I will now have the opportunity to have you expound on your family's experience with my people. In addition, for some time I have wished to inquire as to your evaluation of your time with the Academy. What would you say is your most valued experience?"
"Captain, you of course want my honest evaluation?"
"Indeed."
She turned her eyes away from him and whispered,
"Sir, what I value most highly in my stay at The Academy is my association with you."
There was hesitation as she continued,
"Please excuse me but you wanted honesty."
It was as if all the air was pressed out of his lungs and he breathed deeply as he took her hand and kissed it. Nodding, he replied,
"I am pleased that we both concur,"
His statement was followed by the closing of his eyes and the taking of a deep breath. His right hand continued to grip her hand tightly, as he tenderly caressed her face with the back of his other hand.
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Spock could hardly believe his ears when Nyota had responded to his question with those welcoming words which indicated that she valued him. How unlike his general experiences in life where he even had doubts as to whether this was the case with his own father.
He started his admission to her with the words,
"At times, your appearance in my mind hampers many of my normal actions…my breathing, my meditation, my sleep all have been touched by you…Nyota."
With a tinge of green showing on his cheeks he continued,
"Your physical presence also …affects my body."
Then her tears became abundant.
"Spock, in my mind you have always been so far above me. I never thought that you were affected by me. I am sorry for any disquietude I have caused…"
Spock reply was a Vulcan one,
"There is no offense when none is taken.
"Nyota, in an effort to insure that you will stay awake we will continue to talk. I must advise you at this point it would be unwise for me to touch you so I have moved beyond arm length as a protection for both of us."
The rest of the day and then on into the night the two of them talked. He had checked in with Dr. McCoy to advise first of his diagnosis, with which he agreed, and then every two hours afterward.
The conversation meandered through their various life's experiences and Spock was intrigued by her description of her siblings. As an only child, he found it especially interesting since he did not share such experiences. The most interesting of her brothers was her oldest, Jabari* who was best described as a space entrepreneur. One of his sources of income came from his attendance at estate sales on every planet, which served as a source for undiscovered valuables and he make sizeable profits on these. His sister explained that he had a warehouse in Nairobi that had treasures from every known planet. All her other siblings were professionals and this older brother was viewed as 'the black sheep' in the family. Within her family were physician, lawyers, a large body of educators and some of her extended family worked with her father in his computer hardware and software business based in Nairobi.
Nyota explained that the entire family met during the summer so as to become reacquainted with the latest advancements or honors secured by the clan, to honor those departed in death and welcome those newly born. Despite her wish for some sort of summer internship, her plans still included joining with her family for what was considered a family duty.
Spock revealed his less than satisfying youth. She was appalled at the treatment his fellow Vulcans had visited upon him. He assured her that the most acceptance he had experienced has been on Terra and especially from her. As he explained, she accepted him, not as a Vulcan, or Terran but as himself.
During this time, it was as his world had shrunk and was now inhabited by only two people, himself and his cadet, Nyota.
He saw her response to his revelations…tears, a furrowed brow, clutching and release of her fists, her sighs and vocalization of sounds indicating her displeasure or approval. He reveled in her passion, and her wordless expressions of her concern for him.
His con unit signaled and he opened it for communication.
"Spock here."
"Captain, just a check in with you in regard to the cadet."
Spock replied,
"Doctor, please excuse my lack of punctual contact."
Spock was appalled that time had slipped by him, so he though an apology was in order.
"Doctor, I was following protocol in her treatment and we both got deeply involved in our conversation. She has not been allowed to fall asleep. When do you suggest that we return to the ship?"
McCoy suggested,
"Captain, perhaps another hour will be sufficient for the swelling in her brain to have been reduced enough to allow movement. I do not suggest a bouncy ride on your mode of transportation. Would it be allowable for me to send a hover stretcher with an attendant to your site?"
"Thank you doctor. We will listen for the arrival of the attendant from the ship. It would be appreciated if a contact call would immediately proceed the arrival of that assistance so the cadet does not have to be hurried."
In truth, he did not want this time together to end, but Kaiidth, what is, is.
McCoy agreed with the need for that courtesy call so the cadet could take her time to reach the outside of her shelter. He will thoroughly examine the cadet once she is aboard the 'ship'.
McCoy thought, Cadet Uhura always fascinated him. She was the proverbial 'lone star', beautiful but untouchable and unattainable. None of the Academy gossip mill ever contained her name. He personally had no inclination toward a romantic attachment to her for he was the one admitted lone wolf in the entire male student body at The Academy, his ruined marriage made him a 'once burnt, twice shy' type of male.
Although for a certainty, he lacked any designs on her, he had to admit she was a head-turner, the creator of sighs, and the cause of many breaths catching in an observing male's throat as she walked purposefully through the halls and grounds of The Academy. In his youth, in a church he had heard the expression that he now applied to Cadet Uhura, she was 'a pearl of great value'.
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The com unit signaled the imminent arrival of the cadet's transportation, for one last time he grasped Nyota's hand and kissed her palms as he then ran the back of his hand against her cheek. Through tearful eyes she smiled at him and he nodded.
"We will speak later Nyota. I must meditate deeply on our present dilemma. You have entered a place in me that has never been touched before. What I have discovered in you is priceless, as understood by my people, you are mak, my source of what you would designate as joy, my people would call it satisfaction and I will not allow your removal from myself. You are my k'hat'n'dlawa, half my heart, half my soul."
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She nodded as he removed himself from her immediate presence and waited by the door for the arrival of the attendant with the stretcher. Once they returned to the ship he would report to his command position, work his shift and then retire to his quarters to meditate.
This was necessary before visiting his cadet. He would also have to contact Captain Pike to report his need for a personal visit once he returned to The Academy. What remained a mystery for him was exactly how he would breech this subject with his captain, and what steps would he be required to take to not lose out on this intense experience that he had determined was more valuable than anything, even his career at Star Fleet. For a fleeting moment he thought…
'There is always Vulcan…and his position there. He was willing to sacrifice everything he had worked to obtain, to keep her even if it would work out that their world would include just the two of them, ostracized and even shunned by their two worlds. All he had worked for, mastered and created, was a willing sacrifice, but what would she be willing to give up to maintain a relationship with him. That remained to be seen and he could take no steps in either direction until he knew exactly where he stood with Star Fleet. He would first meditate."
The stretcher and attendant arrived, he entered the structure and he and Spock gently placed the cadet on the hover stretcher and Spock turned off all power sources, mounted his ATV and followed the two toward the ship.
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When finally in his quarters, he showered and put on his meditation robe and settled into the lesh'rig position (kneeling with feet tucked under the buttock). He closed his eyes and saw in his mind his last view of his cadet. Her tears had affected him, her words had warmed him and her presence now with him in his mind, these were not unwelcome. He strengthened his shields and plunged himself into psthan (meditation that is a quest, or search) and regulated his breathing to free himself of all distraction and settled into the logic driven place in his mind in search of tri-sochya (inner peace).
*StarTrekFanWriter first introduced Jabari in her story Descartes Error Chapter 46