Garrett was at a loss.
Things had been utterly strange since the business in Orlais had come to its conclusion. Somewhere between the drunken celebration of their victory, and the return journey home, the members of the Inquisition had all seemed to fall prey to some silent nagging demon. Even Dorian, who had been a hero of the night, now seemed to be outright avoiding contact with everyone including the big mage. Choosing instead to hide away in the Keep's library or his room located on the same floor.
Perhaps it had something to do with the new addition to their team of sorts, Morrigan, not to mention her ebony haired son. The hulking Ferelden had not yet had a chance to meet his nephew, then again neither had the boy's father. Aiden had abruptly gone to ground the moment they hit Ferelden soil. No one seemed to know exactly where he had disappeared to, or why. Garrett would have asked Zevran if he knew anything, but the assassin had also vanished without a word.
Marian had brushed their unexplained departures as the two needing some 'time to themselves', but that still did not give reason as to why Aiden would go without so much as seeing his own child.
Something was going on. The big mage could practically taste it in the air.
The problem was he could not for the life of himself figure out what.
From his place atop one of the high ramparts Garrett let out a loud sigh and hung his head forward to rest it upon the walk-way's inner wall. The gritty stone was cool from the mountain air, and it helped alieve some of the tension in his head.
"Dissatisfied by not knowing, not unlike him. You know more than you believe you do." The sound of Cole's voice shocked Garrett to the core and he stood up abruptly, twisting to find the strange boy crouching atop the low wall, watching him with prying eyes.
"You scared me."
"I did not mean to…I want to help…you have so much hurt, so much blood that weighs you down until you are drowning in it…so much pain from so much blood. You are not unlike him."
"Him? Who is him Cole, other than having an amazing insight into my personal nightmares, you are not being very clear." Garrett had not had many interactions with the odd boy, but he had seen Tara speaking to him and she never seemed ill at ease. From what he understood, Cole had a particular ability to see the feelings, or thoughts, of other people. An empath was the word Varric had used when he attempted to explain what exactly Cole was.
"The one you hope to glimpse in the courtyard when to come up here to think. He is there, by Iron Bull now." Instantly Garrett's gaze flew down to the training yard, riveting on the Tevinter man standing alongside the mercenary leader. The big mage's lips shifted briefly into a small grin, it was so nice to just see him…then the mustached mage let out a laugh, his shoulders heaving at some joke the Qunari had voiced, and Garrett felt his own grin fall flat.
"He does not know how to tell you…his own hurt he hides it behind his smiles, but he knows that you can see. Or can you? He does not know. You both fear blood. You both hate it, but you both have so much of it. How much blood did your father use to try to protect you? And yet you were hurt. You were hunted, as was your sister. We have all been hunted it seems…I do not want you to remember such fear…I can fix it for you?"
"Cole no!" Garrett and the young blonde both froze as Tara's voice rang out from behind the big mage. He blinked as he realized that Cole's right hand was almost touching his forehead.
"But I can help him," the boy said sounding frustrated and mournful. "I can make him stop hurting, just a little?"
"Thank you Cole," the Inquisitor said as she jogged up to stand at Garrett's side. She smiled at the young blonde then moved a bit closer to him and gently moved his hand back down to the stone. "But I believe that Hawke will be okay. Give him some time. You'll see." The boy's eyes practically shouted back 'But I do see, and I see hurt', but Cole nodded slowly then vanished like smoke in the wind. After a moment of silence the big mage turned to cast his gaze upon the petite rogue next to him. He quirked a brow then asked, "What was Cole about to do to me exactly? Why did you stop him?"
Tara sighed and motioned for Garrett to follow her as she began walking along the battlement. "Cole can…make people forget things, or rather, he can alter a person's perception of things…I'm not really sure how it works, but I have seen him…change people before. People who lament the death of a loved one because they blame themselves, things like that. He cares very deeply about people who hurt. I think if he had the power to make it so, he would alter the world so that no one felt pain, whether that is the pain of rejection or regret or whatever."
"He is an interesting lad for certain, a bit odd, but I commend his apparent ideal."
"As do I," Tara said with a smile. "He is a good boy, a loving caring boy…" Garrett chuckled causing the Inquisitor to shift her eyes up to his now smiling face. "What?"
"I know that tone. It is positively motherly, or sisterly I suppose I could also say. You look out for him don't you, well, you really look out for everyone, but Cole has a special little place in your circle of protection. It is endearing that's all. It…you reminded me a bit of my sister just then."
"I shall take that as a compliment," Tara said with another grin. "I caught the tail end of what Cole was saying to you…Dorian has been a bit removed as of late…I spoke with him the other day and he was not as spunky as he usually is. He seemed irritable and a bit bored to be talking to me, which has never been the case before. He is my friend, and he is bothered deeply by something…I came to seek you out in hopes that you might talk to him since you two are…"
"What," the big man asked. "We are not involved, you know that right? We have had one true date, but the rest of our interactions have been business, and now he is avoiding me." Cole's words echoed in the back of Garrett's head as Tara chewed her response.
"Listen Hawke…he likes you and everyone has skeletons in their closets…all I am saying is that at his core, I do not think Dorian is aggressive enough to chase down someone he is truly interested in especially if he is dealing with something personal. He's a fight the road alone kind of man…and I don't want him out there in the dark corners of his mind alone if he does not truly have to be. Please, talk to him. He respects me and likes me, we are friends…but he sees something in you."
"Alright," Garrett said firmly as his gaze once again drifted down to where Dorian stood next to the big Qunari, "I will try…though at the current moment I am not so certain that it is not Iron Bull whom you should be having this conversation with." The Inquisitor pursed her lips but made no comment regarding the Charger's leader.
"Just try. What is the harm in trying?" The big mage froze and stared down at Tara, feeling a bit dizzy as he for the first time realized that for the position she found herself in, the Inquisitor was really quite young. But once he too thought the way she did; before the death of his mother, the abandonment of his lover, the corruption of both Orsino and Meredith, and the ultimate betrayal of Anders. Once he had been the first to offer an ear to listen, the one to ignore the nagging fear of failure because the possibility of victory was so much more fulfilling.
"I will try," the hulking Ferelden finally concurred, and then he turned and made his way to the stairs leading down into the court yard. He rounded the Herald's Rest and came up behind the two other men as they watched Bull's men working with Cassandra and a few new recruits.
"I'm just saying, Dorian, you carry around this picture of the qunari in your mind. Like you see us as this forbidden, terrible thing, and you're inclined to do the forbidden." Iron Bull's words jolted Garrett to a halt. A sinking feeling crept its way up into the big mage's stomach as he noted the distinctly flirtatious tone to the Qunari's words. The Tevinter man let out an elegant snort.
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
"All I'm saying is, you ever want to explore that, my door's always open."
Jealousy boiled up like rancid bile in Garrett's throat, hotter than he could have ever expected. Dorian turned to face Bull, his lips already parted in preparation of a retort, but then he caught sight of a certain black haried Ferelden mage standing but a few steps away and faltered. "Hawke," the mustached man said, eye widening, "How are you?"
"Astounding," the big man clipped with a strained smile. "If you uh have a moment, could we go up to the library and chat?"
"Of course," Dorian stammered an embarrassed flush moving along the upper ridge of his cheekbones. "Yes, if you'll excuse us Iron Bull."
"I won't keep him from you overly long," Garrett added with another brittle grin at the Qunari. Iron Bull's answering smile was genuine as he waved a dismissive hand.
"Keep him I need to attend to these soldiers as I promised Cullen I would."
That was all the permission the big mage needed as he whirled on his heel and began marching towards the Keep. Dorian had to practically jog in order to keep up, though he did not dare point this out. The look Hawke had given Iron Bull just moments ago was not unlike the chilling glares his older sister could cast about like daggers. However, unlike Marian's stone worthy looks, Garrett's had carried a much darker potency.
The two made it to the library which was sparsely occupied enough that they could have spoken in the open and had relative privacy. But Garrett still made his way into the alcove that Dorian more or less called home. The moment the Tevinter man stepped into the space as well the big mage flung a hand out, and suddenly two bookcases shifted to block the opening back into the library. A thick wall of ice followed suit, and then the two of them were entirely alone away from prying eyes and ears.
It had been a month or so since the last time Dorian had been alone with the second eldest Hawke and the effect the man's proximity still had over him was astounding. He had been avoiding the other mage since his use of blood magic at the winter palace. Many people had taken note of said ability and…well it had been bad enough that he was from Tevinter when they were fighting Venatori. Now that he was also branded a blood magic user it was only a matter of time before there was some kind of up front fallout. And Dorian did not want Hawke to be anywhere near the uproar when it occurred. The man had been through too much already to have to worry about his own mess.
Garrett turned and leaned back against the wall facing Dorian, watching the Tevinter man carefully, and attempting to find the most eloquent way to start their conversation. It should have been easy. They had spoken like lifelong companions on their first date, but now Iron Bull's quips resounded through the big man's head until he could no longer see past them.
Screw it.
"Dorian…you have been avoiding me, or rather you have been hiding away for weeks now and it has people worried. It has me worried, but I'm not one to press so if you do not want or need to talk about whatever it is that is fine, but I really am here for you if you would like to talk…unless our terms have changed and you were just rather hoping that I would quietly bow out…which is also fine, I would just rather know up front and hear it now than wonder."
The mustached mage blinked, "What…whatever do you mean terms? What terms?"
"You, and, I."
"Oh…" In the blink of an eye Dorian caught on and his blush from the courtyard returned full force. "You are referring to what Iron Bull said?" The big mage nodded.
"I am. If you have a thing for him that's fine, I won't get in your way or throw a fit by any means. As I said I would just rather know."
"I am most certainly not involved with Iron Bull, as charming and handsome as he thinks he is. I rather had my eye on a rugged Ferelden man, though I'm sure he questions that seeing as I have been avoiding him." Instantly Garrett's stance relaxed, his big shoulders losing their rigidity and a small gentle grin tugging at one corner of his mouth. Dorian let out a huff of breath, raising both hands to press at the back of his head. His eyes closed briefly, "I am sorry Garrett. I did not mean to make you wonder so…I just…I did not want to bring undue conflict or whatnot upon you…people have not exactly been thrilled with my open use of blood magic…I hate it..."
"Hate what? That you saved all of those people? If they now whisper at your back, in the highly appropriate words of my sister, fuck them."
"It is not that, rumors and whispers I can deal with…when they are aimed only at my back. By association however those I care for are also targets. Tara…the poor dear sweet girl, she has been defending my very existence in the Inquisition from the moment I appeared. She has enough on her plate without the big bad Tevinter mage also being a blood mage…and you. You have your own troubles." The tanned mage paused to pace to the window and back. "As for my hate it is directed at the very magic I use…I have no tolerance for ritual blood magic or that which involves demon assistance, but the kind that involves only my own blood…in Tevinter blood magic of some kind is around every corner, it is almost impossible to detect or combat without knowledge and the ability to use it yourself…"
"Dorian," large warm hands came to settle on Dorian's shoulders startling him into silence. Garrett smiled down at him, warm and wonderful as ever. The kind face that haunted the Tevinter man's every waking thought and dream, how he had missed him…the revelation was almost as shocking as the contact of the big man's lips as Hawke bent his head and kissed the other man soundly.
The wall behind Dorian pressed at his back as the larger man moved him, one large arm slipping about his trim waist as the other moved a hand to cup the back of his head as the kiss deepened. It made his knees feel weak, and caused his heart to take up a thunderous pounding within his chest. Garrett leaned closer until the two of them were tightly pressed together, then the big man pulled his face back and placed a light kiss upon the tip of Dorian's nose.
"You do not need to defend your actions to me Dorian. My view of you did not change when I saw you use blood magic. You are a controlled intelligent man with a sound set of morals regarding such things. I am not going to lecture you, nor shall I spend my waking moments worrying about when you will fall prey to some demon. That is something I shall leave to the narrow minded of the world who know nothing about you…and Dorian, if there is anyone in this world who is positively a champion at ignoring whispers about them, it is my cousin, but I am also very good at it."
"You say that…"
"Dorian, I want to be with you! I love talking to you, and you are an absolute joy to be around for me. An indescribable breath of fresh air in my life! So stop worrying about how others are going to impact us and just…come have dinner with me. Please?" There was a long pause.
"Fine," the Tevinter man said softly, a sly smile turning up his lips, "but only if there is wine…perhaps we should just bring something up here? I like the privacy it offers."
"I agree. Let's go get our essentials, and Dorian? I am very happy to have a second date with you."