I do not own the show.
Thank you to everyone who has left a review – they are all greatly appreciated! Apologises for the long wait but I am having some computer problems at the moment.
Word of warning, this is a very raw and emotional chapter and you may find it upsetting to read. Feel free to skip it to the bottom of this chapter and read my notes at the end explaining why I have done what I have done.
"Molly, calm down," Charles said, as he tried to stop her from pacing around the bedroom.
"Calm down! Calm down!" Molly all but screeched, as Charles finally grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. "Nan is in hospital, I need to get down there, let go of me!" She pleaded.
"We will, but I need you to calm down first," Charles said gently. He rested his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead. "Take a deep breath and breathe."
"It hurts to do that!" She snapped. Her tone ordering on irate now.
"I know it does, but you need to calm down Molly, please."
For once she did as she was told, knowing that he was only trying to help, and despite the pain it caused in her ribs, it did calm her down slightly.
"What did mum say exactly?" she asked quietly, as she rested her head on his shoulder.
"That there was some sort of fight between your nan and Dave and she collapsed. Your mum wasn't sure if it was a heart attack or stroke," Charles explained quietly, cautious that there were other people in the house trying to sleep.
"What type of fight?"
"She didn't say."
Molly pulled out of his embrace and started pacing the room again. "It will be my fault, just wait, even if dad punched her, it will somehow be my fault."
"Molly."
"Do not ask me to calm down again Charles, I need to get down there!"
"How are we going to do that?" he asked her gently. "We've both been drinking, so have mum and dad and the only other person in this house isn't old enough to have a driver's licence. And before you ask, there are no trains at this time of night either."
Molly was about to reply when they both heard a soft knock on the bedroom door. "Is everything okay?" Maggie asked carefully from the hallway "We heard shouting?"
"I'll be out in a minute mum," Charles replied, as he walked towards Molly and held her shoulders. "I'll go and tell them what's happened and see if they can look after Sam. Then I'll call us a taxi to take us back home. Why don't you pack up our stuff?"
"I should call mum," Molly said, nodding in agreement at what Charles had said.
"You can do that when we get home. When she rang it was from the back of the ambulance, so chances are she probably still doesn't know what's going on either, okay?"
He was watching her work out everything he'd just said, probably remembering similar call outs when she worked with the paramedics. "Okay." She replied as she headed straight for her overnight bag.
Charles quickly left the room and found Sam and his parents waiting for him in the hallway.
"Dad what's wrong?" Sam asked yawning.
"I heard Molly scream," Maggie stated as she grabbed her husband's hand.
"Belinda rang, her Nan has taken ill in London, there was some sort of fight," Charles explained as he ran his hand through his hair. A feeling of fear and dread washed over him. "They've rushed her to hospital."
"Oh no!" Maggie replied "I should go and see Molly…"
"Leave her," Charles replied quickly, stopping his mother from going into the bedroom. "She's in a bit of a state at the moment. She's packing up our things and I'm going to take her home and drive down to London first thing, well as soon as we have both sobered up anyway. Sam, do you mind staying here with your grandparents, I'll make it up to you I promise."
"Sure dad, whatever, pops can take me to rugby practice."
"We'll have more fun anyway won't we Sam, without your father fussing around us," Nathaniel remarked trying to lighten the mood as he messed up Sam's hair.
"Thanks dad, I think!" Charles smiled as he turned back towards the bedroom.
OGOGOG
A short time later the taxi pulled up outside their house. Charles paid the driver and carried their bags inside, whilst Molly was talking to her mother on his mobile. He opened the front door and held it open for her. He tried to pay attention to what she was asking but none of it was making any sense to him. He dumped the bags at the bottom of the stairs and immediately walked into the kitchen. Lifting two glasses from the cupboard he poured a large brandy into one and a tap water into the other and quickly returned to the lounge where Molly was now sitting on the sofa her head in her hands. She was still dressed as a vampire queen and once again he couldn't help but think how everything in life can change in a heartbeat.
"The brandy is for you, the water is for me," Charles said as he set them on the coffee table in front of her. "How is she?"
"It's bad!" Molly sobbed "Mum's not making much sense but all I can make out is that she had some sort of stroke, maybe a blood clot on the brain and she's not responding to treatment. They're going to do some sort of scan in the morning and we'll know more then."
"Oh shit," Charles said as he rubbed his face and sat facing Molly on the coffee table. "Molly..."
"Don't," Molly snapped as she ran her hands through her hair. "We should be there!"
"I hear you, we should be in the car driving to London, but we've both been drinking. What if we got stopped by the police? We'll end up spending the night in a police station and no use to anyone. Or, god forbid if we manage to escape getting caught, what if we then end up wrapped around a lamppost? I know you want to be with your family right now Molly, I do too, but just wait a few hours please."
She knew he was right, she just didn't want to admit it. "Fine." She sighed.
Charles breathed a sigh of relief as he tried to reach out and hold her hand, only for her to pull away. He knew what she was doing and there was no way he was going to allow her to do that.
"Don't."
Molly frowned at him as she leaned back in the sofa and folded her arms.
"I know she's your nan, your family, but she's mine too through you," Charles said calmly as he touched her knee, pleased that she didn't flinch at his touch this time. "She's threatened me with a kitchen knife more times than the Taliban have, and has probably flirted with me every bit as much as you too." He said smiling.
"Like feeling up your arse at our bloody wedding reception!" Molly giggled as she tried to hold back the tears.
"I have memories too Molly. Grief and shock will hit you the same way whether it's a family member, friend or colleague. We all act in different ways, but please do not shut me out. Don't do to me what I did to you, I'm begging you, you don't want to go there."
Molly nodded as she wiped away her tears. "I'm scared Charles."
"I know you are, I am too. But I'm here. I will always be here, use me as someone to rant at, you can hit me, punch me, whatever you want and if you don't trust me, and Christ you have enough reasons not too, then talk to someone, please."
"I need to charge my phone," Molly stated suddenly as she sat upright. Her eyes started looking around the room to find the charger.
Charles knew exactly where the charger was, grabbing both of their phones he connected them to their respective chargers on the sideboard. He looked at Molly sitting on the sofa, he knew for some reason she was blaming herself, why...he had no idea, but he was determined to be there for her.
"Both phones will be fully charged by the time we leave," Charles said, as he made a mental note to remember said chargers before they left the house.
Molly looked up at him and knocked back the glass of brandy before patting the seat beside her on the sofa. He took the hint as he kicked off his shoes and joined her on the sofa, sat back and pulled her into his arms, gently kissing her on the forehead as he prayed for a miracle.
OGOG
It was Charles who woke first. They'd both fallen asleep on the sofa with the lounge light on and Charles instantly lifted his arm to cover his eyes. His head was throbbing and then he suddenly remembered the events of the previous evening, the heated kisses between him and Molly at his parents' house and again in the bedroom and then that phone call. That heart-breaking phone call which changed everything. At least there's been no more phone calls through the night, as he looked for their mobile phones, remembering that they were now, hopefully, fully charged and sitting on the sideboard.
He gently moved Molly so that she was lying on the sofa. He glanced at his watch. It had just gone 6:00am. He quickly checked and unplugged both phones and noticed that there was still no more news from Belinda. He didn't know if that was a good sign or not.
"Charles?"
He turned around and watched as Molly started to stir, before covering her eyes from the bright light. She sat up so quickly that she grabbed her ribs and winced.
"Careful," he whispered as he walked over to her.
"What time is it?"
"Just after six," he said as he saw a look of alarm flash across her face. "Relax I've checked and there have been no messages from your mum. Let's just hope that no news is good news."
"Yeah, we need to get going," Molly said as she stood up and realised she still in her vampire outfit "That is once I stop looking like an idiot."
"You don't look like an idiot," Charles said as he walked over and pulled her in for a hug.
"About last night," Molly said quietly as she suddenly remembered just how close they got in the bedroom.
Charles lifted his hand and covered her mouth "It's not important we can discuss it later. What is important is getting down to London."
Molly nodded her head and turned and headed for the stairs.
"Why don't you go and shower and pack for a few days, while I rustle up some breakfast and coffee to go, and, if your head is anything like mine some extra strong painkillers."
"What about you, no offence but you stink as much as me mate!"
Charles smiled "You go ahead, I'll shower while your packing."
OGOG
Several hours later and Molly and Charles had arrived at the hospital. Belinda had text them to say that nan had gone for the brain scan and that they were still waiting for the results.
"Did she say what floor she's on?" Charles asked as they approached the elevator.
Molly checked her phone and opened the message from her mum and froze.
"Molly?"
"She's in intensive care. A side ward," Molly muttered.
Charles watched as the colour drained from her face, and gently supported her as he walked them away from the elevators and towards the windows.
"Molly?"
"It's…" Molly took a deep breath, as she tried to find the strength to say what she'd been fearing since the phone call late last night. "It's where they put the most serious patients, those most likely not to make it…" she croaked, as she felt the first splash of hot tears trickle down her face. Charles pulled her tightly against him as he cradled her head and gently kissed and stroked her hair to try and calm her down. After a few moments she pulled back and wiped the tears from her face.
"I need to sort myself out, I need to be the strong one, mum is going to be all over the place."
"You can cry if you want to Molly. You're not in the middle of a battlefield, let it out, I can be the strong one for you and your mum."
"I…," she whispered as she cleared her throat and looked over towards the elevator "I could be wrong and over reacting, we don't even know the scan results yet, but I can't help but feel that she's going to die today, and I feel awful for even thinking that." She stuttered, as she wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to block it all out as she walked towards the elevator.
Thankfully, when the elevator finally arrived they were the only two people in it. Molly frowned as the doors closed and the lift started to move.
"What's wrong?" Charles asked
"That sign says that you can fit ten people in here," Molly exclaimed "How the bleedin' hell can you fit ten people in here! You and I are cramped enough as it is!"
Charles couldn't help but laugh at the image in his head of how they tested ten people in the small elevator "Talk about being up close and personal."
"Don't make me laugh, please don't make me laugh!" Molly replied, as she too pictured how ten people could fit in the small space.
As soon as they reached their floor and the doors opened Belinda was standing there waiting for them, whilst Dave was pacing the floor on his mobile.
"Molly, thank god you're here!" Belinda cried, as she and Molly embraced.
Dave and Charles briefly nodded at each other.
"They said it was a massive blood clot on her brain, that it could have happened anytime, it was just a blessing that she was at ours when it happened," Belinda explained, as Dave started cursing in the background.
"Watch the language dad we're in a hospital you know!"
"Nice to see you too Molly," Dave bit back "You two took your bloody time, what did you do stop for a shag at every rest stop on the way?"
Molly could feel Charles squeezing her hand very tightly as she prayed that he'd keep his mouth shut. It was plainly obvious that her father was halfway between being pissed and starting the hangover from hell. Judging by previous experience he'd soon start taking it out on everyone else. She glanced at Charles and gave him a pleading look to keep quiet.
"No dad," Molly said quickly "We were at a Halloween party last night and we'd both been drinking."
"Alright for some," Dave snorted.
"I think you've had enough already," Belinda snarled, glaring at him "Come on I'll show you to nan's room," Belinda said, as she took Molly's hand and turned to walk down the corridor, but not before she gave Dave one last look of disdain.
"Clean yourself up, or don't bother coming to the room! You're no use to anyone in this state"
As they approached the room Molly could hear her mum talking to her but she was too busy looking around the intensive care unit. How many nurses were on duty? How many side wards were there? How close were the side wards to the nurse's station? Molly's heart briefly stopped when she realised that her nan's room was right beside the nurse's station. Whilst most would see that as a good sign, being so close, Molly knew the rooms closest to the nurse's station were reserved for the most serious of patients. She started to feel nauseous and briefly closed her eyes, when she felt Charles take her hand again as she followed her mum into the room.
The sight she saw was one that she had seen several times before when Charles had been shot in Afghan and again after Belize. But this time it was her nan. Her strong and formidable grandmother, the matriarch of her family. She looked so tiny and frail attached to numerous machines to monitor her heart and help her breathe.
"Oh Nan," Molly whispered as she walked along the side of her bed and gently placed her hand with her nan's before reaching over and kissing her forehead. "I'm here Nan, Charles is too." She whispered.
"Nice of you to finally make an appearance Charlie boy," Dave sniggered, as he stood at the door, looking anywhere but at Nan lying on the bed.
"You saw him last week!" Molly bit back as she sat in the chair and took Nan's hand.
"Yeah and we had to bloody well go to Bath, it would be nice if for once you actually came here to London to see us. Not like you can't afford it."
"Well sorry if I've just had surgery dad," Molly muttered trying hard not to lose her patience.
Belinda glared at her husband as she stood facing Molly on the other side of the hospital bed, struggling to comprehend everything that had, and was, happening.
"Thought I told you not to even bother coming in here till you'd sobered up" Belinda snapped. "I don't need this right now Dave. For once in your life can you just stop being a Twat and realise everything ain't about you! She croaked as her voice broke as she looked over at her mum.
Dave was about to open his mouth but saw the look on his wife's face and thought better of it as he skulked over to the window and sat down on the chair in the corner.
"Belinda?" Charles asked quietly as he lifted the second chair in the corner and carried it over to where she was standing "Can I get you anything?"
"No thanks." She muttered.
"How did this happen?" Molly asked quietly as Belinda sat down. "You said something about a fight?"
Charles noticed a look between his in-laws and saw Dave shifting his position in the corner of the room.
"It was just a stupid fight over the remote control," Dave muttered.
"At one in the morning?" Molly asked "What was she even doing there in the first place at that time of night?"
"Looking after the kids," Belinda replied glaring at Dave "I'm not lying anymore for you."
"Mum?" Molly queried.
"He's got us into debt up to our eyeballs and I was babysitting for a neighbour, only he decides to go out on a piss up and calls mum to look after our kids, rolls in steaming drunk and Nan confronted him. He didn't hit her, but one minute she was shouting, then the next she was slurring her words and then she collapsed."
"You are unbelievable," Molly spat at her father, as she turned back and squeezed her nan's hand.
"Yeah well we wouldn't be in debt if you would help us out more!" Dave yelled back. "Miss bloody perfect in her perfect little house in Bath. You're the one with all the money, you should be helping us out!"
"What you mean is let you drink yourself to death," Molly bit back, as she stood up and faced her father and glanced at Charles "I told you he would find a way to blame this on me."
"Too right it is. We shouldn't have to come to Bath at our expense to see you!"
Charles could see how upset Molly was getting and he desperately wanted to say something to Dave but an argument was the last thing the family needed at this time.
Molly stood and bit her lip as Belinda started crying when Dave's face lit up and he started smiling. For an instant she thought a miracle had happened with Nan but then Dave opened his mouth.
"I've just had a brilliant idea!" he exclaimed.
"I highly doubt that," Molly muttered as she rolled her eyes.
"You two," Dave said pointing at both Molly and Charles "well something has been going on, what with him being in rehab and all. How about you get a divorce, one of those quickie ones and Molly, with the money from your divorce settlement you could give me the money, well some of it anyway to pay off the debts and get Christmas sorted!" Dave said beaming from ear to ear. "Don't worry you can reunite afterwards and live happily ever after. Why did I not think of this before?"
Charles stood open mouthed in shock, in fact no-one was talking. Belinda was now crying harder as she buried her head in her hands and Molly, well she looked completely broken. He was on his way to comfort her when Dave opened his mouth again.
A mixture of nausea and anger ran through Charles and before he could help himself he grabbed Dave by the shoulder and shoved him through the door. "Don't ever let me hear you talk to your daughter like that again!" He growled.
"Charles!" Molly cried, scared not for her father but for Charles.
"I'm sorry Molly but I'm not letting him talk to you like that, not here, not ever." He said firmly, as his jaw set in a tight line. He had that look that she knew meant not to mess with him. "I'll take him to the canteen and sober him up with caffeine," Charles said, still holding a now shocked Dave by the shoulders. "Text me if you need us back here."
Molly nodded as she watched them leave. How could her father talk to her that way, today of all days? Although to be honest, knowing Dave, she shouldn't be all that surprised.
"Molly I am so sorry" Belinda sobbed, as Molly rushed around and sat beside her as her mother told her everything.
...OGOGOG…
Charles all but marched Dave out of the ward and down the corridor towards the lifts.
"Steady on mate!" Dave laughed nervously as he saw the look on his son-in-law's face.
"I am not your mate," Charles replied through clenched teeth as he reached into Dave's jacket pocket and lifted out the hidden hipster and opened it.
"Hey!"
The smell of alcohol nearly knocked him out as he went and threw it in the bin. Dave followed him and lifted his arm to punch him.
Charles turned and looked at him "Are you really going to hit me Dave?"
Dave dropped his arm and looked around him as the tears finally caught up with him "It's all my fault, nan everything!"
An hour later and Charles was sitting in the canteen with a hungover Dave. He'd fed him with toast and goodness knows how many espressos to try and sober him up, and after an hour it seemed for be finally working. His phone beeped and he quickly read the message from Molly. They'd been texting each other since he left her on the ward. Molly told him how Belinda was on the verge of leaving Dave due to his drinking and gambling. He put the phone down and contemplated the best way to say what he wanted, or rather needed, to say.
"How are you feeling?" he asked Dave
"Rough."
"You look it," Charles said as he finished his coffee.
"I didn't really mean what I said up there," Dave muttered as he rubbed his throbbing forehead. "About getting divorced I mean."
"Glad to hear it."
"It's just, I owe people money and with the drink and all...I weren't thinking straight, it was just a stupid idea."
"It was."
"But you could forgive me for thinkin' that all ain't well with you two. She barely mentioned you and then you were away somewhere getting help and we haven't seen you in ages."
"How much debt are you in?" Charles asked him quietly, deflecting the earlier comment. He didn't really want to get into it with Dave the ins and outs of his and Molly's current situation and what had gone on between them.
"Why, you suddenly feeling charitable?!" Dave mocked
"Do you want my help or not because right now I might be your only option?" Charles replied firmly.
Dave cleared his throat. "Yeah, sorry mate" he said sheepishly. "Five grand, and if I don't pay them by next Friday the bailiffs will be round," Dave explained as he buried his head in his hands.
"Jesus Christ," Charles sighed.
"And I have a drink problem."
Charles let out a small smile, surprised at Dave's honesty. "And I have PTSD."
"I've no idea what you're talking about mate," Dave replied as he started to fidget with his cup.
"I'm in the army and have been in numerous warzones, Molly too," Charles explained quietly. "We've both seen things that no-one should have to see. I've lost friends, colleagues and I couldn't cope with that. I kept getting injured but instead of getting the help I needed, I bottled it up and lied to everyone."
Charles paused for a moment to gather his thoughts "That tour in Afghan where I met Molly, I was friendly with a fellow captain in the Afghan army. I know that probably sounds strange, but we had similar tastes in music and sport, he was someone I thought I could trust. A few years later and we end up working together again, only this time he betrays me to the Taliban. Anyway, a whole load of shit happened, and my friend was killed - Elvis."
"The best man at your wedding?" Dave asked as Charles nodded in reply "I think I remember Molly mentioning that."
"I thought I was okay," Charles continued. "I thought that by going back to the army and with the familiar routine that I would be fine. But I wasn't. Molly did everything she could to help me, at an expense to her own career and I pushed her away. I hurt her in the worst way possible and as angry as she was she still stood by me and made me get proper help. That's why I was away for so long."
"In rehab?"
"Yeah, I fell, or rather jumped, off a cliff. I wasn't trying to kill myself, we genuinely didn't think we had any other way out of a tricky situation, but, at that moment I didn't care whether I lived or died - in fact a part of me wanted to die. So that I didn't feel the hurt or pain that had been plaguing me for the last few months. I was reliving Elvis' death all the time. I would be sitting in a cafe, a bit like this, and someone would drop a cup and it would transport me back there. I would see him lying there dying in front of me, not able to do anything to save him. I couldn't save Elvis but I can save you." Charles finished. He hadn't expected himself to be so open with Dave but he was glad he was. He'd never really voiced all of that with anyone other than his therapist so he was quite surprised he felt the need to be so open with Dave. But if it got through to him and made a difference then it would be worth it.
Dave shifted uncomfortably in his seat before averting his gaze away from Charles to look out the canteen window "Don't know what you're talking about?" He muttered.
"Yes, you do," Charles stated "The debts, the drinking. Belinda will only put up with it, and you, for so long. Molly knew, as soon as she got the phone call she knew you'd place the blame for Nan on her. If you don't get help you'll lose everyone you love and care about. Trust me I know. I've been there. On the brink about to lose it all. Molly saved me. And I want to help save you."
"Why would you want to help me? I've been nothing but a twat to you and Molly" he said sadly.
"Because we're family. And believe it or not Molly and Belinda need you."
"I've been a twat for so long though" Dave said letting out a small laugh. "I thought it's one of the things Belinda loved about me. I'm not sure I know how to change."
"Ask for help, that's the hardest part," Charles explained "before it kills you."
Dave nodded his head in agreement "before I end up like nan eh?"
"Exactly, Belinda needs you to help her and support her right now, not drinking, gambling and being downright nasty to your daughter."
"I need to man up," Dave said as he cleared his throat.
"Yeah you do, and to help you on your way I'll go to the bank on Monday morning and cover your debts," Charles said quietly, as Dave's mouth fell open in shock.
"One-time payment," Charles clarified, in his stern voice "You are family and that is what families do, we look out for each other. The last thing your family needs at the moment is to be evicted."
"I don't know what to say," Dave stuttered, as he fiddled with his coffee cup. The last thing he expected was for Charles to offer to pay his debts.
"Sober up and get help," Charles replied, as his phone beeped again and he saw it was from Molly:
"Need you and dad here asap!"
"What is it?" Dave asked, watching as Charles stood up quickly.
"We need to get back there."
"Has something happened?"
"I don't know but it can't be good," Charles replied as he practically ran out of the canteen, almost knocking the chair over in his haste. Dave was lagging slightly behind as they quickly climbed the stairs and walked into the ITU. Molly and Belinda were standing in the middle of the hallway crying and hugging.
Charles took a deep breath and kept telling himself to take deep breaths and stay calm. He needed to be the strong one today. "Molly?"
Before he even realised it, she was in his arms crying, she tried to speak but she couldn't. Wrapping her in his arms, he rubbed her back and ushered her towards the seating area.
"We saw the consultant," Molly whispered, as she started to fidget with her watch strap. "I can't even say it Charles."
"Take your time," he replied as he tucked her hair behind her ear.
"There's nothing they can do," Molly explained as she looked anywhere but at him. "She's brain dead. The machines are keeping her alive."
Charles closed his eyes, the bile was starting to rise in his throat as his worst fears were confirmed, as she grabbed his hand for support.
"We have to decide when to switch her life support off," Molly whispered as she looked directly at him.
"Jesus, Molly I am so sorry," Charles said as he pulled her towards him and held her tightly. He looked up and could see Belinda having the same conversation with Dave. For a moment he thought Molly's father was about to pass out, but he held on to the wall for support. Today was going to either make or break him he thought, as he continued to focus on Molly.
The next few moments were all a bit of a blur. Nurses brought them tea and biscuits and left them leaflets on grief and organ donation. Molly was now sitting up and staring into space when she broke the silence.
"Where's Bella? Shouldn't she be here?"
"She's looking after the kids," Belinda replied. "I just text her to leave them with a neighbour but she wants to stay there."
"They're wrong, they have to be," Dave exclaimed "This is nan we're talkin' about. We should get a second opinion."
"They already did dad," Molly said in a defeated tone. "They were both in agreement."
"She's already gone," Belinda whispered. "That's not my mum lying in that hospital bed."
"But what if they're wrong, I mean you hear it all the time people waking from comas," Dave said, still struggling to comprehend what was happening.
"We can keep her on life support and let the machine breathe for her," Molly explained "even if by some miracle she did wake up she would still need round the clock care."
"But you've seen it Molly, haven't you, when you worked in the hospital?" Dave asked her.
"I have seen it before yeah," Molly replied "But I have never seen them recover."
"What about that?" Belinda asked her daughter as she looked at the leaflet on organ donation. "I don't know… the thought of it."
"She could save a lot of lives," Charles said quietly. He felt everyone look at him as he continued. "My cousin Toby, his little boy had to have a kidney transplant when he was three. He wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for that transplant. I, I mean we," he said as he looked at Molly who was still holding his hand for support.
"Are both on the donor list," Molly finished for him.
"This could be nan's legacy," Belinda said smiling through the tears.
….OG…..
A few hours later the forms had been filled in and everything was in place. Belinda had called Bella again who was adamant that she would stay at home and look after her brothers and sisters. She made an emotional goodbye via mobile phone. Belinda had found her mum's favourite song on her phone which she'd decided she was going to play when the doctor switched the machine off.
There something very surreal and eerily peaceful about it, Charles thought as he stood and looked out at the window, people watching as he watched people drive in and out of the hospital, some looked happy and some looked sad. Death had surrounded him for years now and it had driven him to the brink. Every death he had witnessed had been in combat, they had been sharp, sudden, instant. Captain Azzizi had been shot in front of him, Elvis was blown off the roof and died instantly. There was no time to say goodbye, to make promises or make your peace. It happened, and it messed with his head.
This time was different. He knew it was coming, the silence, the tears, the pain, the anger, the need to hold someone, the need to be loved and comforted.
Everyone had a few moments alone with nan, even him. Despite Dave's earlier words, he was assured that he was still family and he had as much right to say goodbye to her as everyone else had. He had reminisced of the good times, the banter that they shared and the love that they both had for Molly. This time he made a promise that he fully intended to honour – to love and cherish Molly until his dying day.
Dave had said his goodbyes and had decided to remain in the relative's room. He didn't want to be there. He had a lot of thinking to do as he read up on support groups for alcoholics.
Charles continued to stand at the window as people came and went. Molly and Belinda were sitting at either side of the bed each holding nan's hand as her favourite song played as the machines stopped. He walked quietly over to where Molly was sitting and placed his hand on her shoulder. As hard as it was, this was where he needed to be. When the time came, when the machine stopped, and the time of death was confirmed, Charles was where he needed to be, and that was holding and supporting Molly as she continued to hold her Nan's hand. He briefly closed his eyes and said a silent message of goodbye to the woman that meant the world to Molly.
A short time later and the three of them were back in the relative's room with more tea and coffee sitting in front of them. The care and compassion that the staff, both the doctors and nurses, had shown them was incredible. They all sat in a numbed silence. Molly was reading a leaflet that the nurse had given her and from the quick glance he could see it was a checklist of things that they had to do. He could see Molly's eyes widen as she continued reading. He reached over and kissed her on the forehead "I need to make some phone calls," he whispered.
"Oh God, Bella I haven't called her yet," Belinda said suddenly.
"She was the first on my list," Charles smiled sadly at his mother-in-law and quietly left the room.
He was initially just going to make the phone calls from the hallway but when he noticed the time he realised that he had been inside the hospital for most of the day and he suddenly craved the fresh cool air. He zipped up his jacket and walked over to the small garden by the side entrance and sat on one of the wooden benches and briefly closed his eyes.
He called Bella first and then made a quick call to his parents and Sam and he promised them that he would pass on their love to Molly. His last call was to Anna his therapist.
He had no idea how much time had passed when he saw Molly walk towards him.
"You needed some fresh air too?" he said quietly, as she came and sat down beside him and rested her head on his shoulders.
"Thank you, for being here."
"There's nowhere else I would rather be," he replied kissing her forehead while gently rubbing her back.
"How are you?" Molly asked as she sat up and looked at him and noticed the dark circles under his eyes.
"I'm more worried about you," he replied.
"Ditto."
"It was tough," Charles smiled sadly "but I called Anna and talked to her and now I'm just exhausted."
"That's good," Molly smiled "That you talked to Anna I mean."
"Mum, Dad and Sam all send their love," he said as he pulled her back into his embrace. "How are you, really?" he asked gently.
"I don't think it's really sunk in yet," Molly replied quietly. "She's gone and I can't quite wrap my head around the fact that I'm never going to see her or talk to her again but at the same time, she's at peace, she's with my granddad again and she's happy… but there's so much that we need to do and a funeral to organise and there's nothing we can do now until Monday."
"Molly, I've been thinking and I know you will probably argue with me about this, but I want to pay for the funeral. Your nan was an amazing woman, she welcomed me into your family and she stood by you while I was in rehab. I know money is tight with your parents and," he was silenced by Molly smiling and placing her index finger over his lips.
"That's one thing we don't need to worry about."
"The funeral, I don't understand?" Charles frowned.
"A lot of years ago Nan saw some advert in the paper about planning your own funeral. She won some money in bingo and used some of her savings and organised, planned and paid for the whole thing herself. Mum has a copy laying at the bottom of her wardrobe," Molly explained.
"Woah," Charles muttered "I don't know what to say."
"I was at a loss for words to, but I think nan knew that mum could never afford a funeral, thanks for offering though."
"Your welcome."
"Mum said she would call the funeral home when she gets home but there's nothing we can really do now until we register it on Monday," Molly sighed.
"This sounds horrible, but the waiting round is already doing my head in, I just want to be doing something, anything and the thought of going back to mum's. I mean I love all the little bleeders, but Bella is an even worse cook than me and they've been cooped up inside all day, they're going to be hungry and hyper and then trying to get some sleep…"
"Stop right there," Charles said, this time interrupting her. "This where I can be useful. Once your mum is ready to go I'll drive you all back home and we can get a take-out – Chinese, Indian I don't care as I'm suddenly ravenous and that will solve that problem."
"Feeding my lot, that will cost you a fortune!"
"No, it won't, and I don't care," Charles laughed "Dad booked us both into a hotel for the next few nights, he figured that you'd want to stay here for a few days and thought that sleeping on a sofa was not ideal for either your ribs or my back. You can stay with your parents if you want or you can come with me to the hotel, peace and quiet and you can have sole control of the tv."
"Stop talking," Molly said suddenly as she placed her hands on both sides of face and looked into his eyes, which were now alert and scared in case he had said the wrong thing.
"I love you," Molly said quickly, and she meant it from the bottom of the heart
He took a breath and smiled and cupped her face "I love you too."
Molly lay back against him and closed her eyes "Can we just say here for a while longer? I don't want to go back to reality just yet."
"We'll stay here as long as you want Molly," Charles replied as he kissed her forehead and pulled her closer to him.
You may all hate me right now but there is a reason why I did this. This drama was entirely my own making and something that was in the plan for this story from the very beginning.
For Molly to forgive Charles, in my head anyway a lot of questions had to be answered and a lot of difficult situations had to be faced. Did he have an affair with Georgie? How long had they been sleeping together? Will he leave Molly for Georgie? Can Molly trust him to be there for her when she really needed him?
Look back at each chapter and you notice how Charles is facing up to his mistakes, clearing the air with Molly, realising how tough life has been for Molly when he wasn't around, will he be there when she is sick and needs help, what about their careers?
Death is something we don't like to talk about but it is something we all have to face. You may agree or disagree with how I have Molly and Charles behaving in this and future chapters, but there is no right or wrong way in how we grieve. We all deal with it in different ways. Molly's reaction is pretty much how I coped when I lost my father to cancer so this was a very painful chapter to write. On the day he died I woke up to the strangest feeling that I still cannot describe but the only thought I had was that today was the day I would say goodbye. Since then there have been good days and bad days. At that time, five of my friends and work colleagues all lost a parent too within the space of eight weeks. It was a difficult time and we all handled it differently. There is no guide book, no right way no wrong way. We simply had to be there for each other.
Back to the story – I killed nan simply to see how Charles would react. Death has been his ptsd trigger in the past, how would he handle it now? The death had to be someone he knew but at the same time that would affect Molly and sadly it was nan who drew the short straw.
I have also made Molly's dad a bit of unlikeable character but again for a reason. Sometimes the only person who can help someone in need is someone who has been into that dark place and come through it. For Charles to redeem himself he had to be able to recognise when someone else needs help.
Thank you all for reading this emotional chapter.