Sanitarium, Leave Me Be Chapter 10: Every Night, an outsiders fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders or the song "All Along the Watchtower"

""There must be some kind of way out of here," said the joker to the thief, "There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief. Business men - they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth, none will level on the line. Nobody of it is worth.""

Hours pass. Night starts to turn into morning.

Ponyboy is beside me on the couch, sleeping. I sit and watch the sun start to rise through the window. There's a lot going through my head but I can't put any of it into words. This has been happening to me a lot lately.

I drink my fifth cup of coffee and wait. I hate how he does this to me.

I let my eyes close for a second, and then the door busts open.

"Dally?" He's gone before I have a chance to see if it's him.

I jump up off the couch, waking Ponyboy up. He asks what's going on but I'm already down the hallway and in the bedroom that Dally and I share.

"Dally?"

His back is to me. His shoulders show his heavy breathing. He's just standing there, looking down at the ground.

"Where were you?" It's the only question I can think of though there's so much more that needs to be asked.

He turns around, his white button-down shirt coated in blood.

My eyes widen. "What happened?"

He comes over to me and holds my hands down to my sides. "Don't ask any questions. Just get your shit."

"But your shirt..."

"Listen to me for once, damnit! Get your shit. Now!"

He turns away from me and locks himself in the bathroom. I start throwing clothes into bags and tell Ponyboy to do the same. Surprisingly he doesn't question me. He must have heard the seriousness in Dally's voice too.

Dally still isn't out of the bathroom when I'm done packing. I think about knocking, but I'm afraid of what I might find.

"Do you think he knows?" Ponyboy asks.

We're sitting on our suitcases by the front door, patiently waiting like we always do.

"I don't know." I sigh, resting my head on my knees. "He had blood on him."

"Dally?"

"Yeah. It was all over his shirt."

"You don't think-"

"You got everything?" Dally appears in front of us. He's changed shirts and washed his hair. He still looks panicked. That's something he couldn't wash off.

I nod and hand him his bag. "Can I ask where we're going?"

"Home," he says. "We're going home."

We're on a train. I can't recall the events that got me here. I blame lack of sleep but I know my mind is too full to comprehend everything that's happening. Ponyboy keeps asking me questions I don't know the answers to. I'm afraid to ask Dally. I can't decide if it's because I'm afraid of his reaction or afraid of the answers he may give me. I try to tell myself I know Dally and I know he'd never do what I think he may have done.

I also thought Dally would never kill anyone. Then Sam happened.

"How long before we're home?" I ask Dally, trying to make small talk.

He shrugs and flips through an old magazine.

Ponyboy has fallen asleep against the window. I wish I could do the same, but I'm restless. "Frankie came looking for you last night," I say. "He was worried about you. Did you tell him we were leaving?"

Again I get silence. I should be used to this by now. It still makes me as frustrated as ever.

"Why are we leaving?" I ask.

This questions strikes a nerve with him. "You can't just do as your told and keep your mouth shut, can you?"

I smile, sensing a break. "I'm not that kind of girl."

He smirks. "Yeah, don't I know it?"

"So are you going to answer my question?"

He closes the magazine and tosses it on the ground. "I know what you're thinking." He stares at me. "The answer's no."

I can tell by his eyes that he's not lying. "How'd you know?"

"I was there."

"You were there last night when your dad was killed?"

"I got there after." He breaks eye contact and rubs the back of his neck. "Went looking for him after that dinner from Hell. No one gets away with threaten' me. I thought he could help me do something about Maggot. Went looking for him when he wasn't home. Found him in the park."

"How'd you know to look there?" I ask.

He rubs a hand down his face. "It was the same spot."

"Same spot?"

"Where I found my Mom."

We pass town after town. I don't know how long we've been on this train or how much longer it'll be until we're home. I'm not thinking about what I may say to Darry when I get there. I'm not thinking about what web of lies I'll weave next. I'm not thinking about what may be waiting for us when we get to Tulsa or what kind of evil we just left behind. All I'm thinking about is Dally and his icy blue eyes that are begging to let out what he's feeling.

He'd never let that happen though.

I place my hand on his. He's been silent for a while.

"What, no questions? Figured you'd have a bunch," he says.

I remember bits and pieces of what little information I've been told about his mother. She died when he was young. She grew up in Tulsa and moved to New York after getting pregnant and moved in with Dally's dad. She was murdered there and Maggot had something to do with it.

I shake my head, respecting his space. If he wants to talk, he will.

He turns his head and looks out the window. I keep my hand on his as some time passes. I'm almost asleep when he speaks again, "I was just a kid."

I open my eyes. He's still looking out the window.

"Don't remember much. Someone woke me up. I was sleeping and they carried me and put me in a car. Maggot was there. His dad was driving. It didn't take long to get there. Cops were all over the place. I was told to stay in the car, but, well, you know me."

I squeeze his hand, letting him know I'm listening.

"Maggot ran out after me. His dad was standing with mine, patting him on the back. He was crying. I couldn't believe it. He never cried. He never showed any kind of goddamn emotions, but that night, he was sobbing like a baby."

Never showing any kind of emotions. Now I know where Dally gets it.

"They were looking down at something. I pushed my way through...and I saw the blood."

I shut my eyes, knowing that picture all too well.

"They made me get back in the car. I went, kicking and screaming, but they put me back in the car. Maggot's old man told me she was dead. That's all he said. Didn't know what happened until I was older. Or at least what I thought happened."

"Someone told me something once," I say softly. "Sylvia, I think. She said your mom was killed. She said she thought it had something to do with Maggot."

Dally looks down at my hand on top of his.

"She didn't know anything else," I clarify. "Is it true."

"Sylvia likes to make up bullshit based on her own theories and spread it around like it's true. She don't know shit. Maggot was just a kid when she died," he says. "We both were."

He turns his attention to the window again. I gulp, thinking I just ruined it, and Dally's wall had gone back up, but then he sighs.

"People always told me it was drugs. You should have heard all the shit people would say. People that didn't even know her. Shit, I broke so many damn noses defending her name in the school yard that my old man sent me down here."

Dally had always said he acted out, that's why he was sent down here. I've come to learn it was more than that.

He pauses for a second and rubs his hand down his chin. "Took me a couple years to know the truth."

"What happened?" I ask.

"I was a goddamn fool," he growls. "They made a fool out of me."

I tighten my hand again, feeling myself loosing him.

"Maggot's old man ran our operation before me and Maggot took it over. Pops and him were real chummy with each other. Ma and him were fighting, more than usual. He was suspicious of her taking me and moving down here. Don't know why he cared but he did."

"He didn't-"

"No," he stops me. "Took me until a few nights ago to learn the truth. He told me when you drug me over there that night."

"Why do you believe him now?" I ask.

"Maggot is my half-brother."

My hand inadvertently pulls away from his. That can't be. Dally wouldn't be blood related to that monster. They couldn't possibly share some of the same DNA.

Dally nods, as if reading my mind. "You and me both, kid."

"You found this out the other night?"

"Yeah. It all makes sense now."

I stare at him. I study his face, his features, and I wonder how this could be true. "Your mother had an affair with his father."

"You could call it that," he says. "Pops and her weren't together when it happened, but Ma was going to tell him and Maggot. She was going to go to the cops and rat Maggot's old man out about what he was doing and she was going to run off down here with us."

I put my hand up to my forehead, still not believing this.

"Maggot's dad got wind of it. Made the whole thing look like an overdose. Got the whole town thinking my mother was some drug whore and my old man was a murderer. Even convinced me of it. Maggot's family raised me. I treated his father better than my own."

I can sense the guilt in his voice. I grab his hand and hold it to my chest. "Dally, I'm so-"

"Maggot's dad died in a fire. A fire that happened at a house him and my old man were doing construction on. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what actually happened. Pops must have figured out what really happened to Ma."

Again, I'm hit with shock. I shouldn't be surprised at this point. I've been begging for answers, I just never expected it to be this deep.

"Didn't take Maggot long either though he didn't figure it out until I was long gone. That's why he sought out Ronnie, to get closer to me. I always thought it was because he wanted me back in. Now that I think about it, that was a stupid damn reason."

"He wanted to get revenge on your dad through you," I say for him.

Dally nods. "That's what my old man told me that day. After you came he started to get suspicious about what we were doing there. He called up Ronnie and of course that cry baby told him everything. He was always afraid of him. It probably didn't take much for him to spill the beans about everything. After that my old man put two and two together. That's when he tipped me off. Told me everything about."

That's what got him killed. I don't even have to ask. I'm starting to learn how this life works.

"Don't know how Maggot found out," Dally goes on. "I assume he was watching us and saw that we went over there. Either way, he found out, and he did what he does best. What he was raised to do."

I gulp and I feel something wet hit my hand. I feel my face. I'm crying.

"I went there to apologize last night. To get Pop's help even though he didn't owe me shit. Guy was a shitty father, and an even shittier person, but he wasn't as evil as I thought he was."

I lean into him, resting my forehead on his shoulder and pressing my lips against his neck.

He breathes out slowly and I feel him hiccup. "He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to die. He didn't deserve to die trying to protect me."

Tears flow down my cheeks as I hurt for him. Too many people have died trying to protect us.

"Promise me something," he says.

I nod. "Anything."

"Don't ever go back there. Don't go looking for answers again. Don't try to protect me anymore." I lift my head up and he turns to look at me. "Stay out of this, please."

I know I can't possibly do that, but I agree for now.

We sit in silence as the train rolls on. I rest my head on his shoulder and I cry as I think about what we've gotten ourselves into.

We may be going home, but this battle is far from over.

A/N: I'll try to update soon. I promise this time.