A/N: Yeah, my first post of the new year! I'm so excited. Sorry this chapters a few days late, I was pretty busy this weekend. So! Please Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing besides the plot and the OC's, other then that it belongs to CLAMP. The song belongs to the magnificent band Scary Kids Scaring Kids.

Holding On:

--

There goes the sun.

"He's alive! He's alive" Everyone cheered, and Doumeki could barely lift his head from the relief, back still pressed against the wall.

The teenagers jumped eagerly, wet tears smeared on all of their faces, huge unwavering grins across their young features.

The doctor continued to observe their antics, but then his face turned grave, he directed his voice to the cop. "Could I speak to you privately?" The man asked quietly, trying not to draw attention from the jubilating adolescents.

Doumeki looked at him and nodded weakly, still not his normally composed self. He begrudgingly stood and followed the doctor as they walked down the hall.

Just trying to find your way anywhere,

But you've come to find you're alone.

They turned a corner and stopped at the beginning of the long white corridor, the doctor turned to him staring at his feet.

"That boy has been severely beaten, do you know anything about this?" The doctor said sternly, looking dead-center into Doumeki's fogged eyes.

Of course he had known what was happening to Watanuki, but actually hearing it from a source other then his head sent pain racking through his body. The two men didn't notice the person who approached them.

"Its his father." Came the saddened voice from behind them and both men turned somewhat surprised. The doctor looked at the boy he vaguely recognized from the teenager's usual visits to see his father, and his boss.

Ted looked at them with a mixture of confusion and guilt, his green eyes became somewhat glazed. "For... a long time..." He continued, his voice cracking and the two men continued to look at him. The doctor nodded in understanding, these cases did happen sadly. He looked back at the still somewhat shocked cop.

God it all made sense. Watanuki's reluctance to go home, why Watanuki's wrist was so sore that one time, the marks and bruises, the tell-tale signs. Dammit, dammit. Why did he turn a blind eye?

"We'll contact social services." The doctor interjected and Doumeki looked at him, then nodded.

Its getting dark and you've lost your way,

I haven't let you go as long as you know that.

The doctor began to walk away, but Doumeki stopped him. "When will he wake up?" He asked, voice still shaken with raw emotions. The shorter man looked at him.

"The anesthesia should ware off in a few hours, the rest depends on him." He said, with a small smile on his face and then walked away again.

Doumeki was left standing with Ted, who was still trying to hold back tears when finally the boy broke, punching the hard wall next to him. "Shit!" He yelled, voice cracking again. The teenager brought the extended arm to cover over his eyes and he started crying.

"I've known, for such a long time." He cried, and Doumeki continued to watch him, all-consuming guilt flooding him. "I thought....I thought he would tell me, when he was ready...I thought he would be strong enough to walk away.....Dammit!" He rambled leaning against the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets, staring at the ground.

Doumeki felt so weak. For the first time he felt weak and defeated. He could have stopped this, all of them could have.

They were all to blame.

I'm losing what's left of my dignity,

--

But I'll fight till the end for her heart.

Feelings slowly started coming back to him. Slow, groggy, his father's last request ringing in his ears.

I never knew you and now you're asking me for favors? He thought angrily. Why did everyone expect something from him? What could they want? Its their fault, they brought me into all of this.

He fell into the darkness again.

I'll never give up for what's possibly,

--

For better for worse this love must be cursed.

Everyone had quieted down, and many of the rambunctious teenagers had left, asking to be contacted whenever Watanuki woke up, or wishing for them to give him their best wishes.

It was a huge relief to know that Watanuki had made it this far, however, there was still that tugging stress at the edge of Doumeki's mind that maybe this is it, the last time Watanuki breathed in, his last seconds alive. There was always that minimal chance that the boy himself wouldn't be able to hold out any longer.

Watanuki had been moved to a room on the fifth floor and both Doumeki and Ted were permitted to wait in the hospital room along with the gradually recovering patient.

Watanuki still wasn't capable of breathing on his own, and it was the most peculiar thing to watch a person who was so alive, so incredibly energetic to seem so frail, breakable, breathing with the assistance of an oxygen mask. It pained Doumeki to see it.

But of course, that's how Watanuki always seemed on the surface, Doumeki thought, who knows how his inner workings were.

Just try to keep your head down,

--

But you come and find that trust has come and gone.

In and out, in and out. Watanuki was barely aware of how his breath fluctuated until it was all that he could hear inside his head. His lungs filling with the overly pure oxygen, then compressing, deflating, pushing it out of him. In and out, in and out.

Slowly other noises, or motions caught his attention. A small steady beeping, a constant rhythm that seemed to comfort the drifting boy. His heartbeat, Watanuki barely realized. That was his heartbeat. He was alive.

The east side of the river, thirteen feet.

Watanuki became more aware. He had to deliver his father's only and final wish. He had to make something right.

The boy began to struggle against the darkness clouding his mind.

Everyone out there is listening,

--

But you don't care at all and you're probably glad to know.

Doumeki had been waiting for hours, sitting, anticipating, worrying. He felt stiff and tired. Drained.

Ted had been forced to leave when his father came to retrieve him, the boy protesting and becoming flustered until he had to eventually concede and take his leave. "Please, just take care of him." The leaving adolescent had demanded and Doumeki nodded slightly, trying to conserve his energy.

He would protect Watanuki, he would love him, he would live for him.

He deserved that much.

The steady beat of the heart monitor began to increase rapidly, grabbing the attention of the out-of-focus cop.

I'm losing what's left of my dignity,

--

But I'll still fight till the end for her heart.

Why are you struggling? He asked himself, trying to break through the darkness, trying to get a better grip on pushing forward. You'll fulfill your father's wish, then what?

Go back living with that man? Re-welcoming the torture? The pain? Do you really think things will change?

"No!" He yelled at the echoing voice, stopping his struggling, gripping at his head. "I need to, he asked me to."

What about you? No one needs you, no one cares. That's why you've been alone for so long, that's why this all happened.

"No, no! I didn't trust them, that's why...its not them." The boy pleaded with his deepest thoughts, the ones he had locked up long ago, but were now being released. "Its my fault!" He continued to yell.

Oh? Is it really your fault? You're the victim aren't you? You're the one in pain, you're the one who was pushed into a corner, you're the one who had to deal with it alone. Its them, they did this to you. You owe them nothing. Forget it, let go.

"I still, I still need to." The boy cried, cowering from the voice echoing off the walls of his mind. "I need to."

Need to? Or is it you want to? Do you want to hurt again, to be broken? Or is it you want to be saved?

Watanuki's eyes widened, a small glimpse of Doumeki flashing across his mind. The boy slumped to the floor, abandoning his attempts to reawaken, contemplating the new truth that had been brought to his attention.

"I...want to. I want to love him." The boy finally replied, hardened resolve making the pessimistic voice disappear.

I'll never give up for what's possibly,

--

For better for worse this love must be cursed.

Watanuki's heart rate had been speeding for the past ten minutes, several nurses and the doctor in-charge all swarming around his bed, proceeding with several tests to make sure he was alright, that nothing would take him away.

Doumeki stood in the background, trying to see through the blockade of medical enthusiasts, to get a glimpse of the person he loved so much, praying that it wouldn't be the last time he would be able to do so.

"Remove the oxygen." The doctor commanded of the nurse closest to the hospital bed's head board and the plastic mask was removed.

You already let it pass through your lips,

You can't take it back now.

--

You already let it pass through your lips,

You can't take it back now.

It was like finally breaching the surface of the ocean after being tied down into its depths.

The boy gasped as he swallowed his first breath, eyes shooting wide, back arching slightly away from the bed.

Everything hurt, his head, his lungs, the underside oh his elbow and fore-arm where heavy amounts of liquid was being injected directly to his veins, but most of all his wrist.

It hurt worse then it had slit open.

"East side of the river, thirteen feet. East side..." He repeated desperately, his voice dry.

He suddenly felt numerous hands on his chest and shoulders as he was pushed back down to the bed, still trying to catch his sporadic breath. He fought against them weakly.

"Thirteen feet." He rambled.

He was alive, he had made it. The hands went away, and the boy stayed against the large, starchy pillow underneath his neck, catching his breath, scanning his surroundings with a blurry vision.

"I have to. Thirteen feet." He continued to ramble when a blurry figure in the background caught his eye.

He was about to call to the person when his attention was brought to a medium-built black haired man in a long white coat.

"Do you know where you are?" The man asked, his voice extremely soothing, the kind of tone that was only achieved after years of practice.

The disoriented adolescent hazily looked around his surrounding, the paper robe he wore, the medical machines at every nook and cranny of the room.

"A hospital?" The boy said hesitantly and then, what he assumed to be, doctor smiled, nodding lightly.

"Do you know who you are?"

His mind was blank and his body began to shake. He couldn't place a name to himself. "Do you know who you are?" The question rang in his head.

"I...I don't." He began, tears beginning to rim his eyes.

"I don't remember."

I'll never give up for what's possibly

For better for worse this love must be cursed

--

A/N: Wow, this wasn't where I was expecting the story to go at all! I love surprises! Sorry for another cliff-hanger...it just came out that way. Well! Please review and let me know what you think!!

Oh and a side note...to all those who have reviewed under an anonymous name, Thank you so much for taking the time to review and let me know what you think, but it makes me sad that I can't reply to your reviews...I hope this counts!