{Chapter Nine}

When we got to the streets of what the natives of Kirkwall called "Lowtown", we had no idea where to go to find the docks, but after stopping a few people scurrying about their business, we were directed to the right place. I wasn't certain how we would be able to afford a single boat ride when all of our items had been left onboard the "Impasse", along with the agreement that our fee had been paid by Zevran. We were penniless and had no way of leaving the city as it stood now.

As dusk set in, we scoured the docks for the "Impasse" only to find she had already set sail hours earlier. The second in command had taken over position of captain and had decided to depart before anyone could step in behind the late Captain Harney and take the ship from him. So, that now left us with just the clothes on our backs, two short swords from the slaver guards, and no way of paying for even a room for the night.

"Let's go this way." Harris led us and seemed to have an idea where he was heading though he had told us he had not been to Kirkwall since he was a small boy. He stopped from time to time to ask directions and by the time we got to where he wanted to take us, we had crossed over to a part of the city called Hightown. It seemed cleaner in Hightown, almost affluent and I wondered if he were planning on robbing someone. I would not be a part to that, and surely he knew such. I almost stopped him a couple of times, but decided I would give him the benefit of the doubt despite the fact that his mother was a pirate.

Before we got far into Hightown, Merry tugged on her brother's arm, begging him to stop. She obviously had something to say and would no longer be ignored.
"Where isth Kokoi? Can we go get her now?" She peered up into her brother's matching blue eyes, waiting for him to answer.

"Your doll is gone, Merry." Harris tried to pat the little girl on her back, but she angled away from his hand.

"No! I want Kokoi! We gotta go back and get her!" She wrapped her arms around herself and looked as if she were about to cry.

"I'm sorry, but we can't go back. The ship is gone. We looked, don't you remember?" Harris' tone was gentle as he tried to console her. "I promise we'll get you another someday."

"No! I want Kokoi!" When Merry began to bawl, I knelt down beside her, pulling the girl to me in a hug. She wrapped her arms around my neck and wept while I rubbed her back until the sobs subsided. I felt badly for the little girl, but I knew she would be fine.

"It's okay, Merry." I consoled. "Be a brave girl for Kokoi now. Let's see what we can do about staying out of trouble first. You don't want Kokoi to be in danger, right?" She nodded and stopped crying, but sniffled for a few moments while she recovered. I stood slowly, keeping her hand tightly woven in mine, and I noticed the look of appreciation in her brother's eye… and something more, which caused me to blush at his burning scrutiny. I was relieved when we continued onward.

We stopped in front of a large mansion built into the city and waited as he knocked on the big knocker. I bit my lip, still a little worried that he had plans on robbing someone, perhaps the owner, but when the door opened after some time had passed, Harris seemed to relax as if he were comfortable and not planning on attacking anyone for their baubles.

"Andraste's sweet hips, could you be more impatient!" An annoyed voice sounded as the door swung open, but I could not see anyone at first until I glanced around Harris and Dox's tall forms. It was an older male dwarf with strawberry blonde hair layered with streaks of white. Because my father had friendship ties with Orzammar, I had seen plenty of dwarves before at the palace, but this one was unique in the fact that he wore a lounging jacket and looked as if he owned the mansion.

"By the Maker… Hawke?" The dwarven man gawked at Harris for a few moments until he shook his head as if breaking out of some sort of reverie. "No, can't be. Harris? Is it really you? You have grown into a man!" The dwarf reached out and pulled the young man in question into a quick hug, releasing him to stare at each face. "Who are these with you? How did you get to Kirkwall?"

"Hello Varric," Harris' voice was full of relief as if he had not expected to be welcomed. "It's been a while. You stopped visiting…" He must have heard the accusation in his tone, for it quickly changed. "Come now, you must remember Merry? My half-sister?"

"No! Merry, really?" The dwarf, Varric Tethras, exclaimed in surprise. "I remember she was just a baby last time I saw her. Has it really been that long? Ugh. Well, don't just stand there letting the bugs in, enter, enter." He pushed open the door wide enough so that we could go inside of his house, which turned out to have a very quaint interior.

Once the dwarf had closed the door behind us, he led us into the large open living area which held a couple of long couches parked in front of an almost extinguished fire. Varric poked the flames back to life, adding a few logs as we all sat at his urging. Dox sat with me on one well worn couch, while Kayla and Merry clung to Harris' side on the other. I noticed there was a rather large crossbow hanging above the fireplace and stared at it with a wonder. It was a remarkable weapon and I could only imagine how powerful it could be in the right hands.

"That's Bianca." Varric must have seen me studying the weapon as he leaned down and spoke to me, pointing up at the crossbow as he did. "She'll always be my first love." I grinned at him as he winked and then stood taller, (which was not very tall for him). He smiled over my head at a female dwarf who entered just as he said, "And this is the love of my life, my wife Rose."

"Hello, hello!" Rose's smile was cheerful as she entered but it slid for a moment when she took in the sight of us all. "Oh, my, I wasn't expecting company." She patted her loosely braided, graying bronze hair and gave her husband a look of long suffering. I wondered if our stay would be shortened, but all thoughts were distracted by the scent of something cooking from what was probably the kitchen and the subsequent growling from my belly after.

"Rose, love, can you please send for Orana? I think we're going to have some dinner guests tonight. And have her see about the guest rooms. We'll need at least—" He looked us over then continued, "Two."

As the dwarven lady rushed off to prepare for us, I felt obligated to offer my assistance.
"Nah, don't worry about it." Varric waved my suggestion off. "Orana is a friend who has worked for us for quite a few years now. She is quite capable of helping. She lives a few houses down; though she doesn't need the money she enjoys working for my wife. And of course, Rose loves the friendship." He shook his head but I could hear the fondness in his tone. "So, Harris, what's the story? How is your aunt holding up with all of the trouble going on in Ferelden. Did she send you here for your safety? You are always welcomed here, you know that, right? After all, this place used to belong to your father's before he sold it to me."

"Thanks, Varric." Harris took in a deep breath and then answered the dwarf. "North Ferelden is mostly lost. The armies of mindless ones have cut a path throughout Thedas and so we fled to Amaranthine where we boarded a boat thanks to Zevran – you remember him, right? Dalish elf, friend of father's?" When Varric nodded, Harris pointed to me. "I met the girls there – that's Cecilia." He moved to Kayla. "And that is Kayla."

"And the fellow?" Varric eyed Dox with obvious curiosity.

"Oh, that's Dox." I could tell Harris struggled not to say too much or be snide. "We just stumbled upon him." He was quick to change the subject. "I saw my mother, Varric."

"Oh really. How is Isabela doing these days?"

"A pirate captain as she always has been… well for me, anyway. She told me my father is dead." Harris' eyes held a pleading to them and I wondered how much the old dwarf could add to help him find peace with the loss of his father.

"Yes, I'm sorry Harris." Varric sighed and shook his head. "I got the letter from Isabela a while ago. It is—" He was interrupted by a tiny figure running into the room. The little creature wrapped its arms around Varric's waist, who then laughed at the intrusion and lifted it into his arms.
It was a dwarf child – a little girl.
"Ahh, my Daisy has come to say hello."

Varric smothered the dwarven child in smooches, who in turn squealed with an appealing little voice and then turned back to us. "This is my daughter, Daisy." He pecked her on the cheek as he spoke, cradling her tightly to him. "Daisy dear, we have guests. Can you say hello?"

"Mmmm-ello." She had an adorable little turned up nose and sparkling green eyes as she stared at each of us. Suddenly shy, she buried her bronze-haired head against her father's chest, which caused him to laugh at the action.

"Come now, Daisy," Varric pried the little girl from his body and set her down on her feet. "That is Merry there - a little girl like you. Why don't you take her to your room and play with some of your little dolls?" At the mention of dolls, Merry's face lit up and she looked to her brother for permission. He made 'shooing' motions and together, the little girls ran off to play.

"Children are cute and intriguing but I've found they are quite a bit of work to raise." Varric shook his head as he watched the girls leave, but there was a sappy look of adoration on his face as he said the words. "But so much joy. Worth any effort."

"Varric, why did father never return for me? Or for Merry?" Harris queried the dwarf after a few moments of silence had passed by.

"Well," Varric took his time in replying, perhaps searching for the right things to say – but would that be what Harris wanted to hear, or the truth or was it both? "Your father would dock from time to time and in those times I saw him, you and Merry were all he could talk about. His guilt was strong, you understand. He did not want to leave you for so much time, but he could never seem to find your mother like he planned. So much coin was wasted searching for her that by the time he finally found her, he was a destitute man." The dwarf shook his head and paced to the fireplace, facing it as if afraid to face Harris as he continued. "Your father sacrificed everything to find her. You children were just casualties in that search. I'm sorry."

"Thanks." Harris' voice was full of pain and self-inflicted torture. After a few moments, he asked the dwarf, "How did he die? Did she tell you?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" Varric turned around to face him, staring hard at the younger man. The flickering fire behind him casted odd shadows, making him look taller, giving almost a frightening appearance as he continued at Harris' insistence. "Well, maybe I should get the note and let you read it." He held up a finger and went into a different room, leaving us in silence for a short while. When he returned, he handed Harris a somewhat crumpled piece of paper. Harris took a few moments to read it. When he finished, his face was pale even in the firelight.

"You keep it." Varric waved it away at Harris' attempt to return the note. "I'm sorry, Harris. I really am." When it looked as if Harris would say something, Rose came in and interrupted by announcing that our meal was ready. We had not eaten in quite some time, so we all made haste to the kitchen.

"You've outdone yourselves, love." Varric kissed the side of Rose's hair and motioned at the overflowing table. "Sit, eat as much as you want." Rose sat beside him and we joined them. It was not long before an older elven woman, Orana, came in carrying Daisy with Merry in tow. She helped the two children sit at a smaller table and worked with them at cutting up the roast and other food items while we feasted at the larger table nearby. The food was incredible! I savored every moment, though as I did, my heart grew heavy at the thought of my father suffering in some cavern while I enjoyed myself.

With fully bellies, we were soon exhausted and found ourselves being led to our borrowed bedrooms for the night. Merry wanted be with Daisy, and I could not help but grin at the excited little girls, knowing they'd probably play for a long time before allowing themselves to fall asleep. I took one of the guest rooms to share the bed with Kayla (much to my dismay) and Harris agreed to share a room with Dox, despite his grumblings under his breath against the raven-haired mage.

Of course I was roughly awakened by Kayla's kicks early in the night and then unable to return to sleep due to the amazingly loud snores ringing throughout the small bedroom. Giving up, I pulled on a borrowed robe and slipped out of the room, hoping to get some rest on one of the couches by the fireplace. The fire was roaring, much to my surprise and as I drew closer, I could see why – Harris was standing by the pit, staring into the flames with a somber expression on his handsome face. I attempted to keep my eyes averted from his bare chest, but I appreciated his strength and lines too much to not spare a peek. Maybe two.

"Harris?" I approached slowly, uncertain if he would welcome the company. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah." He shrugged, finally turning from staring at the fireplace to me. "Can't sleep. Too much on my mind. You?"

"Yeah, having trouble sleeping." I decided to be nice and not berate my roommate. "I guess we can keep each other company if you don't mind. At least for a short time." Then maybe I would be exhausted enough to handle Kayla's annoying snores.

"Of course." Harris' face lit up and he smiled for once, holding out a hand. I took it and let him pull me to him. He wrapped his arms around me, stroking my back as we embraced. It felt nice. Real nice. I knew he would try to kiss me, so when he pulled back slightly to do so, I broke apart, but stood close enough to keep his hand encased within my own. He shifted his arm so that he could continue to hold mine comfortably and wove his fingers so that he had a firm grip.

"I have to admit that I am glad you knew of Varric." I stared into the fire to keep myself from eyeing his finely chiseled torso as I spoke. "I did not relish the idea of sleeping on the streets."

"Yeah," Harris replied back, but it was a little distracted. I noticed his free hand was clasped around a piece of paper and realized it was Varric's note from his mother.

"So, do you think Varric will help us get to Ferelden?" I decided not to push or pry, but let him talk on his own about the note.

"I spoke with him briefly before we retired for the night and he said he would buy us passage."

"Ahh, that's nice." I sighed in relief. Tomorrow we would be on our way back and I could help my father as planned.

"Yeah." Harris' tone had turned grim, so I prepared to console. "Here's the note from my mother, if you want to read it." He held it out to me, and I took it. I read it, feeling as if I owed it to my friend, to help him overcome his hard feelings and pain.

"Varric,

How're you doing, you old sod? It has been too long since we've shared a pint. I'll have to remedy that sometime. I heard about your new baby. Congratulations! I think it's sweet you named her Daisy. Poor Merrill. She should never have touched that mirror. Ah well.

I guess I should get to the point of my note. I don't know how to say it, and you know me, blunt as always, so I will just tell you, Hawke is dead. The funny thing is… well, not really funny, I guess…. But Garrett died protecting me. Me, of all people. The fool cornered me in a bar in Antiva and would not let me be. I told him to sod off, but of course, he wouldn't. Kept badgering me to come back to Ferelden and help raise our son. And his little baby girl. Why would I do that? I am definitely not mother material, Var. Why would he dare try to make me into a mother? I still can't understand his thinking!

You know I tried when the boy was born. I did try very hard. Little Harris would cry and I would be so lost. I know what you are thinking, that all mothers go through that, but honestly, I know the sea. I know a good fight. Children… I'm clueless and I'm really not sure I have the capability to learn. Poor kids. He said that he left them with the little girl's aunt.

Anyway, some guards thought Garrett was harassing me and attacked him. He was drunk and couldn't fight back very well. He didn't try hard, thinking it was just a stupid game. I killed a good many of them, but one of the guards ended up stabbing him directly in the heart. No healer could help… Maker knows I tried to save him. I really did. He died in my arms… and… and… now I have to tell the children somehow. No wait, can you? Please Varric? If you can find the boy and girl, tell them I'm sorry. Tell them their father died honorably, lost to the sea. That will sound so much better than the truth of it. Thanks for doing that if you will, I owe you one.

Take care of yourself,

Captain "Rivaini" Isabela

To be Continued