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Kobashigawa Hinagiku (11th)

Matsushita Koichi (11th) – mentioned

For all those who are reading this:

You see yourself as very average, ordinary. And there is nothing ordinary about you... - Emily Giffin

Chapter 10: Determination

It is dark. I'm sitting here, in the darkness. Alone. Always alone.

It is dark. I can smell the paper all around me. I slowly fold the one in my hands. Slowly. Delicately. Careful of the edges. Careful of the corners. It needs to be perfect.

Should I quit on ye?

Never.

Have ye quit on me?

Never.

I've failed ya'.

Never.

A drop falls onto the work in my hands, ruining the paper. I trace it with my fingertips and I know. I'm not the only one crying.

Don't look.

Don't listen to him.

Not him.

Look at me.

Listen here.

But, she can't hear. She can't hear me. She never could. I fold. Once. Twice. I turn the paper. Edge to edge. Corner to corner. It's done. Just a simple flower.

Listen to me.

Childhood, innocence, purity…

Not him.

Me.

Hinagiku let out a sigh and opened her eyes. The dojo around her was completely black in the silence of the early morning. It was well before five, when the first sunrays peeked over the horizon and basked the white Seireitei in a flame-like light. The young Shinigami had gotten up unusually early that morning. She had had a quick wash, taking a look at her side, where the gash made by their 3rd Seat used to lay, only to find a light mark of irritation. It had healed perfectly, though the skin was still a bit tender. And after that, the girl had headed for the Division dojo, while it was still empty, for some much overdue training with her Asauchi.

She moved her blade from her lap to the wooden floor in front of her, sighing once again softly into the darkness. No answer. No tingling. No visions. Nothing. She might as well give up on learning the name of her katana. Yet, Hinagiku was a stubborn fool, like many were in the 11th Division. Despite the fact that she'd already told herself numerous times that she couldn't do something, she strived for greatness. Nearly every morning she meditated for at least an hour with her Asauchi, hoping to hear something.

At least the katana is pretty. The girl told herself, looking at the sword. She had picked it out from the number of Asauchi that were presented to their class at the Shin'ō Academy. It was a regular katana, a little shorter than the average, due to her petite stature, with a white tsuka. If you looked carefully, you could see tiny designs on the wrapping, as if someone has stitched in numerous flowers into it. Hinagiku had searched and searched for their name, but she had never been able to figure it out. Perhaps the maker had simply drawn flowers from his own mind, she had often told herself. And then, she had wondered about what that had to do with her soul, as it was her Asauchi now.

Other than that, it was a fairly regular katana. But, to Hinagiku it was beautiful, and she would never trade it for another. She remembered when she had just gotten the sword. She had slept with it in the same bed, hoping to bond with it quickly. Yet, here she was, more than four decades later, still not knowing her companion's name. She had tried to stifle her envy, when Tomoka had learnt the name of her Zanpakutō in the Academy. She had attempted to console herself, repeating how Zaraki-taicho didn't know the name of his katana either. Yet, Hinagiku had always come back to that depressing hour of meditation, when she begged for the sword's name in her head.

"Should I quit on ye?" She asked in a whisper, her Kyoto-ben flowing freely in the dark. "Have ye quit on me?" She wondered, touching the sleek blade with her fingers gently. Not a month before, it had been covered with blood and gore from the battlefield. She had lost her Asauchi in battle. That was a taboo for a Shinigami. You never, ever let go of your sword. Not even when you die. "I've failed ya'." She whispered finally, her eyes stinging with tears. A single drop fell on the smooth blade, the sound ringing out in the empty room.

"Hina-chan." The girl looked up, gasping. Again. She cursed in her mind. He's here. And truly, there he was. The man that had been haunting her, awake or asleep for weeks now. Hideki stood in his Shinigami uniform at the end of the dojo, offering his usual, polite smile. He didn't speak anymore. He just stared at her, still. Cold. Dead.

"Hideki." Hinagiku breathlessly whispered. She knew that he couldn't be there. He was dead. She had seen him die. Heck, she had seen him die over and over again. Yet, there he was, standing, smiling at her cheerily.

"Hina-chan." He spoke once more, in the same, eerily cheery tone as usual. Hinagiku felt her throat close up and her nose tingle. She knew what came next. Tears. She was crying again. She hated when she cried. She'd always just cried. When her mother died. When her Grandmother took over her life. When she failed in the Shin'ō Academy. When she messed up in her Division. She cried and cried and cried. She acted like a little spoilt brat from a noble family and she downright hated it.

She hated how powerless she was.

"I'll find out what happened, Hideki." She whispered through her tears, with a surprisingly strong voice. "I'll find out why this happened to ya." She gripped her Asauchi's pure white handle with as much strength as she could muster, making her knuckles go pale. "I swear it on my Kobashigawa name."

She felt something tingle underneath her fingertips and looked down to her katana. The immaculate design, which had been barely visible on the tsuka was now rather easily noticeable. The flowers were being colored a pale lavender color, like the paint was being bled into them slowly. Hinagiku traced the pattern with her fingers slowly, feeling the uneven texture of the soft cloth. She could recognize the flowers clearly now.

Daisies.

"Childhood, innocence, purity…" She whispered the symbolic meaning of the flower, her fingers going over the hilt once again. "Hideki." Hinagiku remembered, looking up, only to find herself alone in the dojo. He had gone. "I'm going mad…" She whispered to herself, shaking her head.

As much as she wanted to forget the change on her Asauchi, Hinagiku couldn't help tracing the tsuka ever so often, just to check if the change in texture was still there. Even as she sat in vacant office of their 4th Seat, working, her hand wandered to her hip, where the sword was, checking. She would read, write and complete the form, and then, after she deposited it on the 'Finished' pile, her fingers would trace the daisies of her katana.

Something had changed.

Her hands slipped along the lines of records, searching for the proper one. She knew that she only had a few moments before he got suspicious of her absence. But, she seemed to be having bad luck with finding things, which was rather unusual in her case. She had a great sixth sense. Well, she had developed it during her years as a Shin'ō Academy student.

There it is. Her mind supplied, her hands catching the spine of the document. She looked around warily, as she was officially committing her first crime, before pulling out the file. It didn't have too many pages, but the seal of both the 11th and the 10th Division stood on the front. Both Captains had approved it.

Now, she had thought long and hard about it, and she had come to the conclusion that there was no way that either of the Captains had been planning to kill of their subordinates. No. It had to have been someone else. Now, the only thing that she needed was the initial report of the accident, the request for a mission and the scouting party information.

Her fingers trembled and her heart pumped like crazy as she sifted through the material, her eyes skimming over names and names. She was trying to commit them to memory, but she doubted that she would be able to recall all of them. However, there was one thing which stood out. The initial report had been signed off by the 3rd Division. And, that was mighty unusual.

"Kobashigawa?" His voice drifted towards her through the bookcases and the slight Shinigami fumbled to place the record back. One of the covers caught on the neighboring one, wrinkling. She pulled it back out. His footsteps were coming closer and closer. The girl straightened out the page and stuffed the records file back into its place, moving a little down the shelf just as a familiar Captain rounded the corner. "There you are." He commented, coming towards her. "I thought you'd gotten lost. There is no order down here." He sighed, his fingers raking through his spiked, white hair, a habit which had been endearing just a couple of hours ago.

"I had a little trouble, but I think that I've found all of the places." Hinagiku answered, smiling. She could still feel her heart pounding wildly in her chest and beads of sweat running down the back of her neck. She had almost gotten caught. And, as friendly as Captain Hitsugaya was with her, he would have had to arrest her. She had just committed a crime. "This-" And the Shinigami placed one more file into its proper place on the shelf, minding the date and district, "-is the last one."

"Thank you for lending me a hand, you've been a great help." The Captain offered a rare smile, motioning with his head for her to follow him back to his desk and computer. As she did, guilt pooled into her stomach, making her almost physically feel sick.

"Paper, is the tournament stuff done?" Her Captain's bark made her look up from the report, where she had been staring at the same line for at least an hour, she was sure. The guilt had been in her, not giving her any peace, ever since the night when she had aided the young Captain of Squad 10. Well, he had helped her, too, unknowingly. She had tried to convince herself that Hitsugaya Tōshirō was the kind of man who would understand her motivation and determination, rather than judge her actions, but those had been false thoughts. He would've tossed her in jail, regardless of the circumstances.

"Yes, Zaraki-dono." Hinagiku compartmentalized, again. She pushed the guilt and those thoughts into a black box inside of her and locked it away, tight and secure. Now was definitely not the proper time for that. Instead, she allowed her mind to drift to the matter at hand. "I have obtained permission of the 13th Division to use their training grounds as an arena, which should be set up in a couple of days. Unohana-dono has allowed us three teams of healers, along with Seated officers and she has promised that she would be in the Healing Wing, should any more serious injuries occur."

Her Captain was nodding along, smirking. Obviously, he didn't care much for the preparations. He simply wished for the fighting to begin. "Has an exception for the release of the Zanpakutō been granted?" He grunted.

"Yes, only for the Seated positions." Hinagiku confirmed. "We are to set up a spiritual barrier to prevent any reiatsu damage to the surrounding area." She hurriedly rummaged around the desk, finding the necessary slips of paper. "If you would only sign these, I will have the application forms for the tournament ready to begin distributing by the end of tomorrow. From there we can-"

"Turn around." Her captain growled, taking the papers and the pen, signing them on her back, as usual. "Do what needs to be done." And he was gone once again. Hinagiku allowed a sigh, looking out the still open door. The lawn in front of the offices was empty, the summer heat forcing Ikkaku and his band of battle-hungry greenhorns into the Division dojo.

The slight girl glanced at the pile of papers on her desk and for once, gave up. Placing her reading glasses on the top of the numerous, perfectly stacked, documents, Hinagiku stripped off her kosode, leaving her in her white underclothes. She tossed it over the back of her chair and exited the office. The girl stepped onto the soft grass, barefoot.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, allowing her reiatsu to flow freely. The constant push of her Captain's overbearing and borderline malicious presence completely vanished in her mind and then, she could see everything in the darkness. Well, not see, per se. Feel, if you would. She could sense the smallest movement of the grass in between her toes. The constant ticking of the thousand tiny feet of little ants, collecting Koichi's dropped breakfast. The soft hum of a bee rushing from one flower to the other in a nearby bush. The rushing of the breeze against her face. The movement each hair on her head made. The grunting coming from the dojo. The distinct sound of one's back hitting the floor. Ikkaku's victorious yell. The approaching footsteps.

Iai: One slice!

Hinagiku whirled about, her katana drawn out in a quick motion, barely noticeable. It clanged against another sword, before she completed her movement, sheathing it again. Her eyes opened, the world a tad too bright for her. She took a moment to focus on the figure before her.

"Attacking a Captain is punishable by death, you know." The Captain with whom she'd become quite familiar with greeted her in his own, dry humor way. His Zanpakutō stood drawn, knocked a little to the side from the force of her strike.

"Please accept my most sincere apologies." Bowed Hinagiku. "I will accept any punishment than you deem necessary." She continued, not giving him a chance to speak. The female Shinigami found her panic more focused on the current crime which she'd committed, rather than the one before. And all in the presence of the same Captain. I must have a death wish. She cringed.

"That won't be necessary." The young Captain's voice gained a certain stiffness which Hinagiku had forgotten he was capable of even using. She had offended him in some way, obviously. He was reverting back to the way he had been, back when she was simply a nameless, faceless Shinigami bringing him paperwork. "Stop bowing, Kobashigawa." So, that was the problem. Hinagiku straightened, still keeping her eyes cast down in respect. I hope he didn't find out that I'd rummaged in the Seireishokairō.

"I'm very grateful for your leniency, Hitsugaya-taicho." A sigh came from the young man before her, like he was giving up the topic. Hinagiku attempted to calm down her heart and keep her voice as steady as possible. Luckily, the years of practice under her Grandmother's tutelage had given her that. She could hide her panic well. Panic and guilt.

"They told me to ask you about the undelivered reports." Tōshirō pointed towards the open office door.

"U-undelivered?" If you asked the young Captain what Hinagiku's reaction looked like to him, he would describe it as complete and utter panic, as if she had just spotted a very large Hollow. Then, that panic turned to horror and desperation. "I-if you could give me the date of the documents?"

"July 2nd through 20th." And that brought even more horror to the girl in front of him, much to the Captain's amusement. "Shall you get dressed before looking for the files?" He pointed out her shitage top, which was practically see-through from her short workout and summer heat.

"Excuse me!" Squeaked the girl, her cheeks coloring even more, and this time the sun had nothing to do with it. She ran into the office to grab her kosode and hurried to tie it properly around her waist. Captain Hitsugaya waited for a moment outside, attempting to school his expression back to the usual, neutral one. He entered the office to find Hinagiku searching through the large amount of paperwork on the only tall desk in the room with vigor. She was murmuring something to herself, stacking the sheets in perfect little piles. "I'm so sorry that it got lost. I was sure that I had filed it properly. I swear that I will find them in a moment." Then, she stopped, leaving the drawer of the desk open, letting the files from her hands fall back into it. Her desperate and panicking eyes searched out his and she gave him the look of a kicked puppy, if he dared call it that. "If you could wait here a moment, sir."

And she was gone before he could reply. "Of course." Tōshirō said to the empty room, a smirk coming to rest on his face. He wasn't the kind of Captain that enjoyed it when his underlings squirmed, like Gin or Kuchiki. No, he preferred them to be outspoken and honest. He found that that brought the best results. Of course, he demanded respect, he was a Captain, after all, and they were in the military. It was quite intriguing, though, seeing the usually impeccably organized young woman flustered over a couple of reports.

Five, and then ten minutes passed and Tōshirō began looking around the office in boredom. He had left his own office because his eyes had grown tired of looking at the letters and begun to ache, so he'd figured that a Shunpo around the Seireitei would do him some good. But, the waiting was even more boring than paperwork, which said something.

Tōshirō Hitsugaya considered himself to be a patient man. He enjoyed the wait when something was worth it in the end. He sometimes wondered if his Zanpakutō had anything to do with that. Being a dragon, Hyōrinmaru was a beast in his essence, bloodthirsty and eager for a fight. He loved to wait, to be on a prowl, and then to tear into his prey and reward with gusto in the end. Tōshirō wondered which part of him was like his Zanpakutō sometimes, as he considered himself to be much more disciplined.

The young Captain's eyes trailed around the space, noting things absent-mindedly. It was an office meant for a 4th Seat, yet, it had two desks, much like a regular Captain's office. There was a large, tall one to his right, with different mountains of papers on and around it, obviously meticulously sorted. The other one was low, so that one could sit on the floor and work there, and the mess around it was quite unsightly. It was obvious to him right away that the tall desk was used by Hinagiku.

He picked up one of the open letter from the top of the pile, the name on top of it catching his eye. Nakajima. It was a reply to the invitation to the 11th Division's tournament. Tōshirō wasn't snooping. No, he most certainly wasn't. But, the young Captain couldn't help his curiosity as his eyes skimmed across the paper, reading the contents of the letter.

A familiar reiatsu spiked behind him with a well-placed Shunpo and Tōshirō let go of the letter like it had burst into flame, letting it fall back onto the desk. Hinagiku entered the office once more, her short hair a complete mess from the fast run that she'd just executed. She was murmuring something about incompetent men and their sorting abilities while ruffling through the folders in her arms, positioning them properly. Tōshirō forced a smile down. He couldn't really help himself. He could remember himself from just a couple of decades ago, being just like that: meticulous and stiff, immersed in his work. Well, more so than now.

"Forgive me for the long wait, Hitsugaya-dono." She slipped and he didn't even bother to correct her. The slight Shinigami handed him the folders, sliding the pile a bit so that he could see the dates on the top, written with neat, almost cursive-looking numbers and kanji. "I have arranged them properly so you wouldn't have any trouble with that. I'm sorry once again for the misplaced documents." And she stepped back and offered a bow. Tōshirō couldn't help the small frown that came onto his face at her over the top formality, but he didn't comment on it.

"It doesn't matter." He told her and turned to leave, the back of his mind reminding him of just how much work he had left with the graduation of the Shin'ō Academy around the corner. "I'll be looking forward to the tournament." He said to the girl, enjoying the flash of surprise which took over her face. He liked the way her eyes widened, showing off the interesting color of the pupil. They were purple. A deep violet, reminding him of the pansies that Matsumoto had allowed one of their officers to plant outside of his window.

"I- you- ahem." She blinked twice, collecting herself. "I wasn't aware that the Captains had been informed of the Tournament yet." He could see by the way her eyes glued themselves to the floor, more specifically, her own feet, and the way she bit her lip after she said that that she was beating herself up, completely embarrassed about the situation. For once, Tōshirō disliked his rank, which was obviously making the girl in front of him uncomfortable.

"We haven't." Now, her eyes drifted up, only for a second. A flash of purple, before they focused on the floor once again. "Then again, most of my officers have been informed of it via mail. I must say that I admired your work with the posters."

"I- It was Captain Zaraki-dono's work, sir." Hinagiku didn't look at him again. He wished that she would, but she didn't. "And Yachiru-dono's." He liked the way her eyes widened when she looked at him. How they focused and couldn't seem to turn away.

"Brilliant application, then." He remarked and gave her a curt nod. "I must be on my way."

"I wish you a great day, Hitsugaya-taicho." She bowed low, with utmost respect, and he couldn't help but allow himself to trail his eyes over her figure once more. The folders in his arms suddenly seemed much heavier than they were two seconds ago.

"Good day." And he flash stepped away. He was a tad annoyed by the flapping of the folders in his arms and forced himself to slow down so that they wouldn't scatter across the Seireitei. When he entered his office, many greetings by his officers later, he was met by silence and emptiness.

Matsumoto had escaped.

With a sigh, Tōshirō dropped the folders on his desk, flinching at the sight of the mess on it. He wondered if he could somehow bribe Hinagiku to do some tidying up for him. She runs the 11th Division already, he told himself, banishing the thought from his mind right away. He knew Zaraki well and he had always been curious about the inner workings of the man's Division. Simply, paperwork and Zaraki Kenpachi were like two magnets of the same polarity: they didn't go together. Naturally, Tōshirō wanted to know the man's secret. If he knew it, perhaps he could've had a night or two off, as well, even with the amount of things he reviewed because of his highly incompetent Lieutenant.

But, now that he knew the reason why the 11th Division was still standing, he wasn't sure what to think. Kobashigawa Hinagiku. He knew that last name quite well. He remembered the name of the judge from Central 46, after all. The woman with cold eyes and perfect hair. The one who'd told him to murder his friend. How could he forget. Judge Kobashigawa Setsuko.

When he had first seen the name on an official report delivered to him, he'd thought it a cruel joke of some sort. Yet, when he realized that the report told of a young Shinigami's survival in battle, in quite extraordinary circumstances, he couldn't help his curiosity. If there was one thing which Tōshirō valued more than rules, it was his instincts. So, he had gone to see this Kobashigawa Hinagiku, the girl who'd saved the life of one of his recruits, much to his Lieutenant's amusement.

She had been tiny, like a little hurt rabbit, frightened beyond belief, broken, in that hospital bed, and he'd wondered just how was she related to Kobashigawa Setsuko, that cruel, cruel woman from Central 46. She'd looked at him with admiration, in genuine surprise, as she probably thought herself a lowly unranked officer, not worthy of a visit from a Captain, especially once from a different Division. He had been at a loss of words then, realizing that Kobashigawa Hinagiku was just a tiny girl.

What am I doing?

Tōshirō dropped into his chair, his hands raking through his hair, a habit which he'd found himself developing since he'd become a Captain. He'd never had much interest in lower ranked Shinigami, much less those from other Divisions. He assured himself that he was curious only because of her connection to that woman, but, he was aware that he was just deceiving himself. If one thing was true, he was curious. Strangely so. But, who was he to deny his own instincts? It wouldn't hurt to indulge them, in his spare time, of course. After all, he found the violet-eyed Shinigami rather pleasant to converse with, when she wasn't painfully aware of the difference in their rank. Not to mention that she was quite good at shogi.

Surely, a small game wouldn't hurt?

That's all folks!

Adshkawjgf I love writing Tōshirō's POV xD

Any thoughts?

Reviews:

Girl-luvs-manga:

I hope that the flashback tells you about that? I can't really see Hina talking to Tōshirō about her problems yet… Simply, she has too much respect for him as a Captain and thinks that she shouldn't bother him about that xD

Aowenn:

Oh, you made me sooo happy with this review, so I hurried to update xD

I'm glad that you enjoyed my portrayal of Tōshirō! :) I couldn't resist giving them an awkward moment xD And I promise that it won't be their last :D

Rini and Koichi… Ahhhh they're gonna be trouble xD I don't know how 'good' they are for Hina, but she certainly think so hehehehe They're good people, though, so it's all going to work out :D

About her fighting style, I really must blame all the sword fighting anime and movies which I've been following in the recent months… I feel like Bleach has an unexplored area with Kenjutsu and I decided to take a bit of a dip into that pool… Especially that since they are all masters of the art of the sword, why shouldn't someone in there specialize in a specific branch, like quick draw? Ah well, sorry for my babbling xD I simply love making my OCs complicated, as you can see xD

Long story short, among all of the Bleach fics which I've read (a lot, really) I haven't read one where a character was using Iaidō, which is a bit sad… It's a very cool fighting style :D By the way, originally, I was going to have Hina use a style similar to Himura Kenshin, but I changed my mind xD

I'm sooo happy that you're not bored as you wait for me to develop all the stuff that I want to develop before the main plot xD I figured out that this story is a bit more Slice of Life than anything for now xD

Ahhhh, I'm not saying nothing about anything that will or will not happen xD Though, I hope that this chapter provided you with some Zanpakutō related satisfaction xD

Tōshirō's eyes… Yeah… Man, I know that if it were me, I'd be staring at him xD Really, I loved his character design because of those eyes from the first moment he appeared… Then, I started to love everything else xD And, I imagine him as a very controlled character, rather stoic, but with expressive eyes. I love writing the switch between Captain Hitsugaya and Tōshirō :) It's becoming a new favorite thing :P

By the way, I saw that you've written an AlxOC story and I think that I'll convince myself to read it sometime. I love Al and I can't wait to see what you've done with him :D But, I'm kinda afraid of the French… It's been soooo long since I read anything in French xD

Thank you very much everyone!