Hey everyone! Apologies for the lack of updates—it has been a busy couple of weeks because of Hurricane Sandy, work and school. To my entire fellow East-Coasters, I hope your family/friends were not as affected as those in the Caribbean and if they were I hope you are able to return to your normal activities sooner rather than later.

SOA is almost done for the season! Time really does fly. Honestly, this season has not been my favorite. Too many storylines, too much violence…it seems rushed and forced. And of course there is not enough Jax and Tara loving… But KS is still an amazing storyteller and I cannot wait to see where he takes the characters.

On another note, thanks for all the positive feedback, it is highly appreciated. Please keep reviewing/following/favoring. It gives me great joy that so many of you are enjoying my story. I love receiving your feedback so please feel free to sending them.

Good news, the next chapter is being written. I hope to have it up in the next week or so. Finals are coming fast and furious so I'll make the best effort to have it done as quickly as possible. The next chapter is about what occurs after Jax and Tara see each other after ten years. It's truly heartbreaking. I'll try not to make it too sad.

Once again, thank you for all the support and please review!

Until next time! XOXO

Chapter 10: Wicked Games

The world was on fire, and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

I never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you

I never dreamed that I'd know somebody like you

And I wanna fall in love

And I wanna fall in love with you

What a wicked game you play, you make me feel this way

What a wicked game thing to do, make me dream of you

What a wicked thing to say, never felt that way

What a wicked thing to do, make me dream of you…

My world was on fire, and no one could save me but you…

-James Vincent McMorrow "Wicked Games" (originally sung by Chris Isaak)

Music blared all throughout the lot. Men in black kuttes toasted the night away while the women who kept them company tried to keep them in line, keeping the bloodshed and chaos at a bare minimum.

From atop the clubhouse, Jax observed the orderly disorder that was transpiring below, the whiskey and weed still lingering in his system. He tried to numb the pain away but it still burned within him, unrelenting and unforgiving.

In the palm of his hand, he held the last picture of them, together as one. How quickly things changed in the span of a couple of months. A year ago, he had everything…now he felt a shallow emptiness that seemed to consume him every minute of everyday. He was lost in every sense of the word.

Jax felt his presence even before laying eyes on him…he quickly put the picture away before it was spotted. Shortly afterwards, his friend stood towering over him, silently observing the future King of Samcro. Without a moment's hesitation, Opie handed Jax an old flask that he had nicked from Piney.

"Thanks," muttered the mourning prince.

Opie nodded. The air was tense between the life-long friends. Both had many thoughts running through their heads and none knew how to express their conflicting feelings. Although Opie was accustomed to giving his best friend and brother space whenever Jax needed it, it seemed like a long time since both were able to sit and have a long in-depth conversation about what was currently occurring in the young man's life. Ever since John died, Jax has been distant and moody and for the first time in their long friendship, Opie did not know how to reach out to his best friend and brother.

Breaking the silence, Jax stood and continued staring into the lot before questioning, "Where is all of this going, Op?"

Opie chose to remain sitting as he contemplated Jax's question. Pulling out a stolen packet of cigarettes, Opie lit up while choosing his words wisely so he could answer the conflicted boy standing in front of him.

"Honestly bro, I don't know." Standing so he could stand next to Jax, Opie held out his hand for the flask. "Things are changing Jax…Changing rapidly. All we ever known has changed. This shift could be good or bad for Samcro…"

Jax nodded while he turned to look at his best friend.

Pulling out a joint, Jax lit the little sucker up and took a long pull. Releasing the toxins from his lungs, Jax glanced down into the lot once more. It wasn't long before he was able to locate his mother with her long dark hair and bright blonde highlights. She was conversing with Tig when Clay came up behind her and whispered something into her ear. She laughed wholeheartedly and turned to give her lover a tender kiss on the lips.

Anger spread swiftly all throughout Jackson's body.

Opie felt the air intensify as Jax's strong shoulders tensed. Placing his hand on his best friend's shoulders, Opie tried to get Jax to relax his posture. "Jax, what's going on with you? Talk to me bro…"

Not knowing how to answer, Jax turned and sat back down. Taking another pull from the joint, he offered it to Opie while he gathered his thoughts.

"Op, nothing is what it once was. I know that change is inevitable. I know I can't live in the past, but how am I suppose to be okay with all of this shit?" Jax said while he waved his arm towards the lot.

"Yea, I get you but what else could happen?" Opie turned his eyes to look at the party that continued to rage on regardless of the conversation that was transpiring between the two old friends. "Clay had to rise to the gavel. Samcro needs a president not only to lead the club, but to serve as an example to the other charters." With conviction, Opie finished off…

"Clay is going to bring Samcro to the next level bro…he is good for the club. He is going to bring another level of integrity to the MC and by the time you and I patch in, Samcro is going to be untouchable. And when you and I sit as Prez and VP, this club will be ours."

Jax looked at his best friend. There was a time, when Opie quieted down all of his inner demons. Opie's silent conviction always gave Jax a peace of mind and comfort that no one could ever measure to. Opie's loyalty never wavered and that was one of the things he loved most about his best friend. Ever since they were kids, their friendship proved to be unbreakable. Since he lost both his dad and Tommy, Opie was one of the few people, besides his mother, whom he loved unconditionally but at the moment, he didn't need Opie's loyalty—he needed his understanding.

Putting out the joint, Jax stood and headed towards the ladder.

"Where you going?"

Jax looked at his friend for one last time before heading down.

"Forward, Op. I am moving forward."

Her back was turned against him, her breath coming out slowly and deeply. Her white creamy legs were barely covered by the Persian green sheets. She looked peaceful…angelic in every sense of the word.

As he pulled up the window to her bedroom, Jax felt a hint of guilt as he swiftly climbed thru the window. He didn't want to wake her but…he needed her.

The feelings of need and wanting almost stopped him from walking to her house from Teller-Morrow. Never in his life did he ever want someone as badly as he wanted Tara at the moment and it was irking the shit out of him. He was used to being alone and enjoying the company of nameless women who served their purpose as soon as he reached his orgasm. But with Tara it was different…she understood him…She understood how he felt in the basic of all levels and that fact alone allowed him to continue walking towards her house in the middle of the night. And that fact also allowed him to justify his breaking and entering…luckily her window was unlocked and it seemed like her father wasn't anywhere near the worn-down house.

As he looked around her room, he noted that she did not have any pictures of friends or family. Her walls were covered with a few small posters of musicians and famous paintings by Frida Kahlo and Salvador Dali…however, there weren't any traces of a young woman who had much company…quite the contrary, noted Jax.

Although she had a bookcase resting against one of her walls, there were books neatly placed all throughout the room. Jax suspected that Tara spent most of her time alone, using books as a mechanism to escape a life she did not necessarily love or enjoy. The room was a stark contrast to his, which was incredibly messy with Harley manuals thrown around and half-naked models looking down from his walls in a suggestive manner.

Walking towards her bed, Jax studied her sleeping form for a moment before kneeling in front of her and slowing stroking her face with his calloused fingers. A small moan escaped her lips.

"Tara?"

She slowly opened her eyes. Confusion quickly spread thru her face as she lifted her head from the pillow.

"Jax? What are you doing here?" She swiftly sat up and moved so to give him space to sit next to her.

His eyes trailed down towards her body. He felt a familiar heat spreading thru his body as he noticed what she was wearing to bed. Her perfect, full breasts were covered by a navy lacy looking camisole thing; her hair was tousled and her green-eyes looked darker than usual.

"Jax, what is wrong?"

He shouldn't have come. He needed to stay away from her. He was a fool to think that they could just be friends, who occasionally shared passionate kisses after having deep conversations about life. He was about to turn away and climb back out the window, when he felt her small hand on his arm.

"Don't go," she pleaded while her eyes connected with his.

His resolve crumbled. Moving so he could lay next to her, Jax laid his head on her now covered legs, the green sheet tucked safely around her waist. Her fingers found their way to his golden locks, and Tara slowly stroked his head, while she patiently waited for him to break the silence. Unlike earlier tonight with Opie, the silence that surrounded them wasn't heavy—it was peaceful. And Tara's company was doing what the alcohol and weed did not do before…with each stroke of her fingers, the anger slowly left his body.

Jax wasn't aware that he was falling asleep until her voice broke the spell that had taken over the room.

"Let me take off your shoes, at least. I know it must not be comfortable to sleep with your sneakers on." She shifted so to get up from her bed. When she stood, he saw that she was wearing the shortest pajama bottoms he had ever seen, her perfect ass barely covered by the thin fabric. Her hair fell softly around her shoulders as she moved around to accommodate him.

She motioned for him to sit up. When he did, she kneeled in front of him and quickly removed his white trademark sneakers and socks. Standing in front of him, she lean in and grabbed the hem of his sweatshirt…

Jax felt every muscle of his body stiffen at her touch.

Tara giggled. "I can imagine that most people don't sleep in their sweatshirts either, Teller. Lift your arms so I could take it off…unless you have some sort of body issue and you don't want me to see you shirtless…" her teasing voice lingered as her eyes danced in the moonlight.

Jax rose his arms and she slowly removed both the sweatshirt and t-shirt that covered his body. He heard the small gasp that escaped her lips.

"You are beautiful," she whispered as her fingers trailed across his defined chest. Jax wrapped his arms around her small waist. As their eyes connected, Jax pull her down towards him. Taking his hint, Tara straddled him and interwove one of her hands into his hair as she placed the other in his cheek.

They sat like that for a couple of minutes, staring into each others eyes before he placed his hands on both sides of her face and pull her face towards his. Like many times before their kiss was tender and passionate. Jax lightly pushed his tongue into her awaiting mouth. He used one of his arms to physically pull her closer as her legs automatically wrapped around his waist. He broke the kiss and looked into her darken green eyes.

He was painfully aware of his erection, as was she as a small blush spread throughout her cheeks.

"I don't know what this is, Jax, but I am not ready for that. Not just yet." The sincerity that plagued her eyes reached Jax to his soul. Very few people were completely honest with him, and when it came to sex, he wasn't one to wait…but with Tara everything was different in so many levels.

A small smile spread thru his lips. "It's okay, Tara. I didn't come here for that. I just needed to escape the lot for a bit, you know?"

She nodded, her eyes full of understanding. "If you don't mind me asking, why did you come here tonight?"

Pulling her closer to him, Jax rested his forehead against hers. "They got married today."

She gently stroked his hair. "I know, Jackson."

"I hate it that everyone seems to be moving on but me. I don't know how to handle this shit, Tara. It's so fucked up in so many levels. Dad dies and instead of honoring his legacy, Gemma gets married to his best fucking friend. How fucked up is that?" Anger radiated from him in waves.

Letting out a shaky breath, Jax motioned for Tara to get up. When she did, he immediately followed suit and walked towards the window as she sat, crossed legged in her bed, waiting for him to continue.

"What am I suppose to do, Tara? How can I live on with this hallow feeling inside me?" he whispered as he looked out to the unknown.

Tara stood and walked over to her small desk. She opened one of the small drawers and looked around for a bit until she found what she was looking for. Walking towards Jax, she held out her hand and gave him what she had concealed for years inside that drawer.

Jax looked at the picture. It was a picture of Madison and baby Tara. Both were looking at one another and both had a smile so genuine plastered in their faces that Jax felt his lips tug at the end. Tara was on a high chair, her face full of baby food and Madison's hand were cleaning her daughter's gleeful face. From that picture, he could tell that Tara adored her mother. Looking up, Jax noted that Tara was looking outside, a far away look in her eyes.

"People always say that things happen for a reason. For years, I wondered why she killed herself, Jax. Why didn't she fight for her life…for mine? I questioned the reason behind her decision to end it all…I made excuses for her. I blamed Derek. Blamed everyone under the sun, Jax. And to this day, I don't have an answer to my questions."

Suddenly, Tara turned and looked him right in the eyes.

"There is one thing I have come to realize, Jax. I didn't have a mother. She left me because she couldn't deal with her inner demons. She didn't care that her death would leave me alone without someone who would care for me. After her death, Derek stopped being a father. He prefers spending time with a bottle of whiskey than with his own flesh and blood. I don't have a family, Jax. And I have come to accept that. I live with it. But you, Jax, are a different story. You had a father. And from what you have told me, he was an amazing father, who loved you and your brother wholeheartedly. Treasure that. Remember him everyday for the man he was and honor his memory as much as you can. Don't let Gemma's wedding to Clay dim what John meant to you."

Her gaze was so intense, that Jax felt something click into place…something unexplainable. And for the first time since Thomas died, Jax felt utterly at peace.

Reaching out so to pull her close, Jax hugged her close to him. He inhaled her unique smell and for the first time in his life, he knew everything would be okay…just as long as she was standing besides him.

Tara pulled away and placed a small kiss on his lips before pulling him towards her bed. Jax pulled away and walked towards where his clothes laid on the ground. He searched for the picture that he had tucked away when Opie made his presence known in the roof at the lot.

Tara waited for him patiently as he placed the picture in her nightstand. She made herself comfortable in her bed and watched him swiftly remove his jeans and move towards her. Moving aside so he could lay next to her, Jax climbed into her bed and wrapped his arm around her so she could lay her head in the crook of his arm. Reaching for the picture, he placed it so both of them could stare at it. Thomas and he were sitting in John's lap as Gemma looked on at her happy family. All four of them had genuine smiles on their face.

"It was taken six months before Thomas got incredibly sick…six months before everything completely and utterly changed," he whispered.

Tara cuddled closer to him. With her delicate forefinger she stroked his beautiful chin and whispered, "tell me more about them."

And for hours they spoke about those people in their lives who would forever shape them into the persons they would become. They spoke until the sun rose in the horizon and sleep covered them like a blanket…with their arms wrapped around one another.