"I knew you two secretly had the hots for each other," Naruto said confidently, as he came across Ino and Sasuke while taking a walk with Sakura.
Ino didn't remove her glare from Sasuke. "Shut up, Uzumaki."
"Couldn't have put it better myself."
"Of course you couldn't have," Ino replied, smirking.
"Ino, under normal circumstances I would encourage you to be at least a foot away from Sasuke, seeing as you have a boyfriend, but I don't like your boyfriend," Sakura paused, "So get as close to Sasuke as you want."
Ino's eyebrow twitched. "Is that reverse psychology?"
"I don't think it is," Sasuke said. "I don't like Loser Face either. And if I had a friend who was with someone like him, I would encourage them to cheat."
"So I'm not your friend?" Ino asked, smirking.
It was easy to forget that Naruto and Sakura were even there.
"Correct."
"Then what am I?"
"Just a person who occupies most of my life," he said.
"That's the definition of a friend, dumb ass."
"So what are you two even doing?" Naruto asked. "Besides flirting, I mean."
"We are not flirting," Ino called, "We are engaged in mortal combat."
"Um, the words 'mortal combat' usually insinuate that someone is going to die," Sakura pointed out. "I don't know about you guys, but not very many people die from staring into each other's eyes."
"You've obviously never fought against a Sharingan-user." Sasuke said.
"And this is a mortal combat," Ino said. "Whoever loses has to pay for dinner tonight."
"Loses what?" Naruto asked, his voice rising as he walked over to the pair. "What are you even doing?"
"It's a staring contest, idiot," Sasuke said.
"I thought I was the only one you called an idiot," Ino said.
"I hardly ever actually insult you, I just imply things," Sasuke said, smirking a little, "There's a big difference."
"Pfft!" Ino scoffed. "Whatever."
"So, you guys are just going to stare at each other forever?" Naruto asked, sounding crestfallen. These 'staring contests' did not seem particularly violent.
"Until one of us blinks," Ino said. "And there's no cheap moves like-"
"-blowing in someone's eyes," Sasuke said pointedly.
"Or clapping in front of their face, to make them flinch-"
"-attempting to possess their mind so that one can force the opponent to blink-"
"-or using any type of Sharingan on an opponent so that they feel like they have to compulsively blink for five minutes," Ino said, hiding a small smirk.
"If you can't tell," Sasuke said, "This is our fifth attempt at a fair fight."
"This isn't a fight," Naruto pouted.
"That's what you think," Ino said. "But these things are actually really intense."
"So intense that you have to stand four inches apart from each other?" Sakura asked, grinning. "Or is that just for fun?"
"This isn't for fun, Sakura," Sasuke said. "This is serious."
"And the best way to win," Ino said, "Is through intimidation, so you have to get up in your opponent's face."
"Because we all know how intimidating and scary Ino looks when she's up close to you," Sasuke said. "I mean, the warts are nearly driving me to the brink of blinking."
Ino smirked, undaunted. "Whatever helps me win."
Sakura shook her head, "This will only end in tears." She turned to her boyfriend, "Do you want to keep going on our walk then?"
"No way," Naruto said. "I'm curious now. I want to see Sasuke win."
"Prepare to be disappointed Uzumaki," Ino shouted. "There's no way I'm backing down from this thing. I've been trained by the best."
"Trained? How can you train at a staring contest?"
Ino smirked. "Shikamaru. One time, when we were having a staring contest, he fell asleep with his eyes open. And I still won."
"That's not good for you," Sakura said. "And it's probably physically impossible."
"Hello, Sasuke is a Sharingan addict," Naruto was not about to let his bet go undefended. "That guy hardly ever shuts his eyes when he's fighting. And these are in real fights, where there's all these things flying around to distract you and fly at your face and make you flinch."
"Whatever you say, Naruto," Ino smirked. "But I've got this one in the bag."
"That's what you think," Sasuke smirked.
In the end, Sasuke ended up winning.
Ino stumbled away from their battlefield, stiff and rubbing her red eyes. "God," she muttered, glaring at him, "Aren't you supposed to let the girl win?"
"No way," he said, blinking his eyes a few times. "That would affect my masculinity."
"Masculinity my ass," Ino laughed. "You're about as masculine as Sakura's hair is."
"Then every girl in the village must really want to sleep with Sakura's hair," Sasuke said. "As awkward as that sounds..."
"Not every girl in the village," Ino pointed out. "Sakura and I don't want to sleep with you or Sakura's hair."
"You keep on telling yourself that."
"You know, they're talking about me like I'm not even here," Sakura murmured to Naruto.
"It's weird," Naruto agreed. "And now they're walking away from us without saying goodbye."
The unlikely pair stalked off, too caught up in their quibbling to remember that there were two other people in the clearing. Naruto and Sakura looked at their retreating backs for a few seconds.
Naruto turned to Sakura, smirking. "That gets rid of them."
"It's not like we actually tried to get rid of them," Sakura said frankly, "They sort of just left on their own."
"That doesn't matter," Naruto grinned, "The point is that we're alone."
At that moment, Ino and Sasuke had just finished ordering ramen.
"I don't want ramen."
"Hey," Ino frowned at him. "If I'm paying then I should get to choose where we eat."
"We had ramen yesterday," Sasuke pointed out.
"I had to pay yesterday too," Ino said, grinning. "And this just so happens to be the cheapest restaurant in town that actually has halfway decent food."
"You're cheap."
"And you have ridiculously expensive tastes," Ino said. "But you don't see me complaining, do you?"
"Actually you do complain," he said, "All the time."
"Shut up." She said.
"And then there's that," Sasuke said, smirking.
"And then there's what?" Ino asked.
"You're always bossing me around," he said. "It makes me feel insecure."
Ino laughed. "Yeah right. Like you, the cockiest bastard in the village, could ever feel remotely insecure."
Sasuke just smirked and didn't bother defending himself.
He liked it when she laughed.