10.
Ever since Arizona had confirmed her pregnancy to the trauma room people reacted in one of two ways; they either smiled tightly, nodded their heads and then proceeded to make up false allegations about torrid affairs, ticking biological clocks and cancer battles or they congratulated her and then never mentioned it again.
She knew people were talking, she wasn't stupid, she knew that her pregnancy was one of the hottest pieces of news to hit GSMH in a long time. She had heard the stories, she had ignored the stories because she knew the truth, the people that mattered knew the truth and all the rest of it, well she didn't care, not anymore.
Jo on the other hand was finding it a lot harder to walk away from the gossip, she had become fiercely protective of her friend and housemate to the point that her fellow residents knew better than to talk about the fetal surgeon when she was around.
"You're going to get yourself in trouble," Arizona said, sitting down opposite the younger woman.
Jo shrugged her shoulders and continued sipping on her straw. "No, I'm not."
"I heard what happened between you and Edwards," Arizona sighed.
"She deserved it, she should know better than anyone not to believe everything she hears," Jo reasoned, leaning back in her chair.
Arizona watched her friend carefully. "People are going to talk Jo. That's what they do, especially in this place."
"Well they shouldn't talk, it's not their business," Jo raged.
Arizona couldn't help but smile, her friendship with Jo was one of the only good things to come out of her current situation. "They'll move on to someone else soon."
"Doesn't make it right," Jo said, shaking her head angrily.
"Want to hear my list of potential baby names?" Arizona asked, deciding that a change of mood was what they both needed right now.
Sitting forward in her chair Jo smiled widely. "Yes, yes and a million times yes."
Pulling out her phone Arizona opened up the notes section where she had been writing down names when they came to her. "Ok so we have … Polly."
"Gah no, imagine the name-calling potential; whose a pretty Polly, all the parrot names, just no," Jo laughed.
"No to Polly," Arizona agreed, crossing it off of her list. "Esme?"
Jo shook her head. "No. Way too popular after the Twilight movies."
"Savannah?" Arizona suggested.
"Nope, not bad-ass enough for any kid of yours," Jo said.
Laughing Arizona crossed the first 3 names off of her list. "Sienna?"
"Too cute," Jo said with a shake of the head.
"Zoe?" Arizona tried.
"No 3 letter names," Jo insisted.
Crossing even more names off of her list Arizona smiled at the other woman. "Eleanor."
"Are you giving birth to a 90-year-old?" Jo laughed.
"Alright then, if you're so good at this you suggest some names because I'm nearly out of idea," Arizona sighed.
Jo leaned forwards, leaning her elbows on the table and resting her head in her hands. "Good job you have like 15 weeks to go then."
"That's a weird name," Arizona joked.
"Funny," Jo pouted. "Ok, how about … Harper?"
Now it was Arizona's turn to shake her head. "Isn't that on the top 10 list like every year? I don't want me daughter to have to be known by her name and initial because there are so many others that share her name. She'd always be Harper R."
"No popular names, check," Jo agreed. "Nova?"
"Nova," Arizona said, trying the name out to see how it sounded out loud. "Nova, like the star right? Don't you think we've gone from one extreme to the other now, I mean Nova is a little out there."
Jo couldn't help but laugh. "Yes. Arizona."
"Exactly, I know what it's like to grow up with an out their name, I mean I like it but it doesn't ping," Arizona explained.
"Ping?" Jo wondered.
Putting her phone down Arizona nodded. "Yeah you know like that moment when something just fits, when you hear something and you know it's right?"
"The ping moment, gotcha," Jo agreed. "What about Aubrey?"
"Nope, no ping," Arizona sung.
Jo was silent for a few minutes as she ran through names in her head. "Summer?"
"Summer Robbins, I mean it could work but then don't you think it sounds a bit like a species of bird?" Arizona wondered.
"Yeah, maybe … ok … what about Matilda?" Jo suggested. "It was my favorite book as a kid, it was literally one of the only things that followed me around my foster homes, that and a well-loved zebra toy."
Biting her bottom lip Arizona smiled. "Mine too, although not foster homes, just homes. My dad was in the military and we moved pretty much 3 times a year until I was a teenager and the few things I always packed were; my blanket … till I was like 14, my hammock and my copy of Matilda."
"It's a nice name,, cute but bad-ass at that same time because if she's a girly, girl you can shorten it to Tilly but if she's not, if she's a tomboy it could be Mattie," Jo surmised. "Now for the important question does it ping?"
"Matilda," Arizona said, needing to hear it said out loud again. "Matilda Robbins."
"Matilda Jo Robbins," Jo corrected.
Chuckling Arizona threw her head backwards. "Jo eh?"
"It pings right?" Jo guessed, seeing the look in the surgeon's eyes.
"Yeah," Arizona agreed. "It pings. It's definitely going on the short list. In fact at the moment it's the only name on the short list."
The conversation was interrupted by the loud bleep of a pager. "Not mine," Jo celebrated at the same time that Arizona was commiserating the fact it was hers.
"The ER?" Jo wondered.
"Nope, it's Alex, 911 to the NICU," Arizona replied as Jo offered to clear her plate away.
Jo was only left sitting alone for a few moments before she found herself joined by Edwards. "Since when did you and Robbins become best friends?"
"None of your business," Jo growled.
"You've gone weird," Edwards frowned, watching the anger that bubbled across her friend's face.
Standing up Jo loaded Arizona's empty plate onto her tray. "You know what you're right; she's my friend and … I don't care what you all have to say or what you think about that. Ar … Dr. Robbins is a good person, she's a good doctor and she doesn't deserve all the gossiping that is going on behind her back."
GA – GA – GA
"Everything ok?" Arizona asked, entering the NICU.
Alex nodded, taking off his gloves and heading towards her. "Yeah."
"You paged 911," Arizona huffed, looking around and seeing that everything seemed to be calm and stable in the NICU.
"No I didn't," Alex replied, shaking his head.
Arizona looked down at her pager. "See; Karev – 911 – NICU."
"Yeah that's what it says but I didn't send it," Alex frowned. "I promise, all is good here."
"Then who the hell paged me?" Arizona exclaimed, practically throwing her hands up into the air and turning to walk out.
A tentative voice stopped her from leaving the room. "It was me."
Turning around Arizona looked in the direction of the voice. "Sofia? What the …" she trailed off, scooping the little girl into her arms.
"I missed you," Sofia whispered into her mother's ear.
Taking a few calming breaths Arizona sent a glare in Alex's direction as he started laughing. "You're supposed to be in daycare Goose."
"I know," Sofia agreed. "Mama picked me up so we could have lunch together right?'
"Right," Arizona nodded.
Sofia climbed down from her mom's arms as Arizona led them over to a chair in the room off the NICU, pulling the youngster into her lap.
"Then she got a beeper," Sofia continued. "I said that I didn't want her to go, that we were supposed to have lunch because I was staying at yours tonight and I wouldn't see her till tomorrow, right?"
"Right," Arizona repeated, struggling slightly to keep up.
Sofia smiled, pleased that her mom was understanding her so far. "But she said that it was Aunt Mer, paging 911 to the ER and when friends page 911 you have to meet them where they say, right?"
"Right," Arizona found herself saying for the third time.
"So she dropped me off with her baby-doctor and then he got paged, he told me to stay, but I was bored so I came here to find you because I missed you, but you weren't here but I saw Michelle and I told her that she had to page you 911 to the NICU but to put Uncle Alex's name on it because when a friend pages you 911 you have to meet them, right?" Sofia concluded, her head bobbing excitedly as she told her story.
Arizona couldn't help but laugh. "Right. And Michelle just agreed to this?"
"Yep," Sofia sang. "She said 'cos she knew you weren't busy and she didn't want me getting lost and causing even more trouble," she explained.
"Sensible," Arizona agreed. "But Goose next time you miss me just have someone call my cellphone, ok?"
Sofia nodded. "Ok mommy."
Standing back up she headed back through the NICU. "Want to get a hot chocolate from the coffee cart?"
"Always," Sofia exclaimed. "With cream and marshmallows?"
"Always," Arizona echoed.
Alex watched as the mother and daughter headed through the NICU, the young-girl chatting away at warp speed as her mother listened happily, content just to be in the company of her daughter.
"Everything ok?" Alex asked.
Sofia stopped and faced her friend. "Mommy's a little mad because I paged her 911 and used your name, because you have to come when friends page you 911, but it's ok 'cos we are getting hot chocolate now."
"You paged her 911?" Alex laughed, his voice a mixture of shock and awe. "Way to go Shorty," he said, holding his hand up for a high-5.
Returning the high-5 Sofia spun around as Alex finished taking off his gown. "Want to come?"
"So, seems like you and Callie either have a child genius on your hands or a future member of the FBI's most wanted list, pretty smart move." Alex belly-laughed, unable to hide his amusement at the antics of Sofia Robbin Sloan-Torres.
"Urgh," Arizona groaned. "When did my 6-year-old turn 16?"
Alex looped his arm around her shoulder. "You alright if I tag along?"
"Always," Arizona assured him.
"Are you going to get extra marshmallows too Uncle Alex?" Sofia asked as the 3 of them headed towards the lift, sending a quick text to Callie to let her know that Sofia was safe, with her and might have a budding future in espionage.
Alex lifted Sofia onto his back with ease. "Well it's not a proper hot chocolate unless it has extra marshmallows."
"Mommy do you have to drink two? One for you and one for the baby?" Sofia wondered.
"No, you see she's really little right now so she can share mine," Arizona explained.
Sofia's eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Will I have to share mine? Because I'm her big-sister, I mean I'm ok with sharing some stuff but … not my hot chocolate. Ok?"
"I promise Goose, even when she's big enough for hot chocolate you will always get your own," Arizona reassured her daughter.
"Phew," Sofia whistled. "I was worried there for a minute."
As the trio approached the coffee cart Alex motioned for Arizona and Sofia to sit down as he took his place in line, reaching the front of the line he ordered a chai tea latte and 2 hot chocolates as he looked around, watching as people talked in staged whispers, their gaze directed towards his friend and her daughter.
He hated what people were saying, nearly as much as his girlfriend did and the Alex Karev of a few years ago would have given them a piece of his mind by now. But he also knew that wasn't what Arizona wanted, she was hoping that is she held her head high, got on with her job then they would stop talking and leave her alone. Didn't mean he still didn't feel like punching a few people though.
"Mommy, why is everyone staring at us?" Sofia wondered, looking around at the multiple pair of eyes that were looking in their direction.
"Because they didn't realize you were back," Arizona lied.
Satisfied with that answer Sofia turned her attention back to the coloring book she had pulled from her bag as Alex approached the table with the drinks.
"Can we take this somewhere else?" Arizona whispered, not wanting to alert Sofia to the fact she was uncomfortable with the situation. "Like the attendings lounge or my office, somewhere there's no eyes and whispers and … Sofia is asking questions, seems people aren't as subtle as they think they are," she sighed.
"You shouldn't have to hide away," Alex argued, hating that she felt like this, that people were making her feel like this.
Arizona leaned her head on his shoulder. "I know, it's just exhausting."
"Of course, we can take it somewhere else," Alex said, wanting to do anything he could to make things easier for her.
"You know what, screw them," Arizona proclaimed, pushing herself into a sitting position.
Nudging her with his shoulder Alex grinned. "That's the spirit."
"That's the spirit," Sofia echoed, even though she had no idea what she was talking about, she just didn't like feeling left out.
"How's the hot chocolate?" Alex asked Sofia, changing the subject.
Sofia took a long, loud slurp, whipped cream coating her top lift. "Perfect. You should scribe this for the poorly girls and boys, I bet it will make them feel so much better."
"You might be on to something their Shorty," Alex agreed.
"When I am grown up I'm going to be a doctor," Sofia announced. "But only on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday because on the other days I'm going to be an astronaut."
Taking a sip from her drink Arizona smiled proudly. "Big ambitions Goose."
"What's ambience mean?" Sofia wondered.
"Ambition," Arizona corrected. "And it's kind of like a big word that means plans for the future," she explained.
The little-girl was about to respond when her attention was suddenly diverted elsewhere. "Mama. Mama."
Getting down off of the chair she ran past the coffee cart to where her mama was walking towards them with Meredith Grey.
"Hey Sof," Callie greeted, scooping her daughter up into her arms. "I hear you've been causing a little trouble," she said, raising her eyebrows in her daughter's direction.
Sofia smiled sweetly at her mother. "Just a little bit. But it's only because I missed mommy."
"What did you do?" Meredith asked the youngster as Callie placed the order.
"Well," Sofia began. "I might have had someone page mommy 911 to the baby ward and have them say it was Uncle Alex, but only because mama said that when friends page 911 you meet them."
Biting back a laugh Meredith ruffled her hair affectionately. "Nice."
"Do not encourage the mini master criminal," Callie warned as she put Sofia down before picking up the drinks and heading over to where Arizona and Alex sat.
"Room for 2 more?" Meredith said, suddenly feeling really nervous in the presence of Arizona. After everything Callie had told her about what Arizona had been through she couldn't help but feel guilty. Since Arizona had returned from her sick leave she had tried to speak to her a few times but never followed through on it, telling herself that it wasn't the right time.
Arizona nodded, motioning to the empty chair. "Sure. I was just leaving anyway."
Picking up her drink Arizona kissed her daughter goodbye and promised her that she would see her later.
"Well that was awkward," Alex muttered under his breath.
"She hates me," Meredith sighed.
Alex eyed his oldest friend. "She doesn't hate you, she just doesn't like you."
"Isn't that the same thing?" Meredith huffed.
Scooping some of the whipped cream off the top of his drink Alex licked his finger clean. "No. Hate is a very strong emotion that requires time and thought. Arizona is just indifferent to you, she doesn't hate you but she doesn't like you either, you're just there."
"And that makes me feel so much better," Meredith mumbled, leaning back in her chair as Callie shot her a sympathetic look.
GA – GA – GA
"Robbins," the familiar voice of Richard Webber called after her.
Spinning on her right leg she used her left leg to balance herself once she was facing him. "Hey Richard. Everything ok?"
"Yeah, just touching base," Richard shrugged.
"That's sweet but I'm fine, I promise," Arizona reassured him.
Waiting for her to catch up with him Richard nodded. "I know, I'm still going to ask though."
"Just say it?" Arizona laughed.
"Say what?" Richard asked, her mouth creasing in confusion.
Arizona practically skipped until she was in front if him. "Whatever it is you want to say. I know how this goes; you ask how I am, I say I'm good, you move on to about talking about the weather, maybe ask about my surgeries, Sofia's latest obsession whilst you work up the courage to ask whatever it is you're trying to say."
"So … Torres bought a house," Richard hesitated, stopping for a moment to gage her reaction.
"She did," Arizona nodded. "She's er, moving in tomorrow. From what April was saying her father worked some magic, which probably means he threw money at the problem, and managed to push through all the surveys and voila, Callie has her dream house."
Richard was finding it hard to tell how she was feeling about it. "And that makes you feel?"
"You're not my therapist Richard," Arizona laughed. "But I'm good with it, Callie putting back down roots means Sofia is really here for good so … I'm good with it."
"You're seeing a therapist?" Richard wondered, unsure if she had just been joking or she actually did have one.
Arizona nodded. "I am."
"Since when?" Richard wondered.
"I had my first therapy yesterday," Arizona whispered, after all they were in GSMH and the walls had ears.
Richard slipped his hand into hers. "That's … a big step, Robbins I'm … it's a big step."
"Thank you," Arizona smiled. "I'm not really telling people yet, I mean not there's much to tell, I don't even know how I feel about it yet but … I'm taking steps, I'm fixing me."
"I'm proud of you Robbins," Richard whispered, pulling her closer to him.
Arizona leaned her head against. "I'm proud of me too."
As they headed towards the OR board Arizona's phone started ringing. "Hello Dr. Robbins … yes this is Arizona Robbins."
Richard watched as her whole body went rigid, her face pale and her eyes darting around as if she was expecting some invisible evil to come for her.
Feeling her hand tremor in his he gently guided her away from the prying eyes of the hospital and into the attendings lounge. Locking the door behind them he pulled the blinds closed and helped her sit down on the couch. For a few more minutes he could hear one worded, one sided answer as she talked to whoever was on the phone before dropping it to the floor.
"I'm going to be sick," she mumbled, her movements chaotic and frantic as she bolted towards the bathroom, the crash of her leg hitting the ground followed by a violent retching sound.
Whilst Richard knew that he was one of Arizona's closest friends he wasn't sure he was the right person to be dealing with this situation. She was once again walking a tightrope and one wrong move could send her over the edge.
He had no idea what the phone call was about, who was on the other end but whatever had happened it had just sent her carefully reconstructed equilibrium crashing to the ground at warp speed.
Making a snap decision he sent a 911 page, hovering at the door as he heard the retching begin to slow down. "Robbins?"
"Please," Arizona pleaded, her voice hoarse from throwing up. "Please, I just need a minute."
"Ok," Richard agreed.
An urgent knocking on the door caused him to jump, opening the blind he smiled tightly as he unlocked the door and let the other person in.
"What's wrong?" Jo asked, stepping into the room.
"I don't know," Richard admitted. "One minute she was fine and then she got a phone call and she wasn't fine, I didn't know what else to do so …"
Jo nodded. "Thank you."
"Call me if you need anything, anything at all," Richard pleaded as he left the room.
Knocking on the door Jo leaned against the wall. "Arizona?"
"I'm ok," Arizona cried.
"I'm coming in," Jo informed her, waiting a few seconds before entering.
Upon entering the bathroom Jo found Arizona leaning heavily against the wall, her chest rising and falling with rapid breaths. Carefully she sat down behind her. "Can I hold you?" she asked, sensing the other woman's fear.
Through her tears Arizona nodded. "Yeah."
"Just concentrate on breathing, we don't have to talk about it, whatever it is but you need to just breath, in and out," Jo instructed.
For almost 10 minutes they sat on the floor, Arizona's body curling in to Jo's as her breathing finally slowed down and she felt ready to move away from the bathroom, wordlessly Jo helped Arizona to her feet and back over to the couch.
"You don't have to talk," Jo began. "But I can listen if that's what you need."
"That was er … the police, they need me to come down to the station as there has been some developments in my case … that's what the worst night of my life is to them … a case … I … don't know if I can do this, oh God, everything was going so well. I should have known something would happen," Arizona sobbed as with one phone call her whole world was spent spinning on its axis again.
GA
GA
GA
GA
Here ends part one of this story, before we move onto part two just a few things;
1. I don't hate Meredith, I just hate some of her actions, I promise she will get a chance to explain it just comes a little later in the story plus I wanted someone that Callie could confide in 100%.
2. That little stunt Sofia pulled, my friends 7-year-old actually did that, she had her mom paged 911 to the ward she worked on because she missed her.
3. A Jo/Arizona friendship is something I have wanted to write about for a while, it think it is something that had it been given the chance could have really worked, the past scene in chapter 8 was one of the first ones I write.
4. I know we haven't had any Callie/Arizona interaction for a while but as we move into part 2 and Arizona faced her demons there will be a lot more between them. Promise.
5. I have had a baby-name decided from the start, sorry if people hate it but the last chapter of this story was actually the first scene I wrote a long, long time ago and I'm pretty attached to the name I chose for Baby Robbins.
AND FINALLY ... thank you so much for all of the comments they really mean a lot, I was nervous about posting and it helps to break that fear. I will try and update as quickly as possible until it's finished (30 chapters) but for the next 8 weeks I will be in 6 different countries so I have no idea what the wifi/mobile internet situation is until I get there.