Author's Notes: Konbanwa, minna-san! Since I got a review from someone other than Zeldagamefan I can go back to being nice. Don't let me have to throw myself on the mercy of my readers ever again, ok? Anyhoo, this chapter is for Uryuu's birthday that I missed; November 6th. I know there seems to be some kind of confusion as tp whether its November 6th or November 11 or something, but I just go with 6th 'cause I saw it on Wikipedia once. LOL. I suffered from a case of writer's block so yeah, this is hecka late. Sorry. Enjoy! -bows-
Warning- AU, shounen ai/yaoi, silliness, HUMOR, some OOCness, mix up of Japanese and English things sort of
Pairings- AizenxGin, IchigoxUryuu, Renji+Rukia, RenjixHisagi, UraharaxIchigo?, ByakuyaxRenji, KyourakuxUkitake, Ikkaku+Yumichika, IsshinxRyuuken, KenpachixUnohana
Summary- A soon to be multiple chapter fic of the Bleach people and their highschool adventures. Cliche, but yet so original! Ishida's birthday!
Disclaimer- Don't own. Don't sue. Don't ask. Don't tell. If I owned Bleach... -sigh- Its getting harder and harder to come up with these things.
'blah'- thoughts
x change of scene
A Series of Tales Full of Hilariousness
Chapter 3: Happy Belated B-day!
"I'm not mad. I'm not mad. I mean, I'm sure they just forgot or they had an emergency..."
Ishida Uryuu was currently in the kitchen of his house washing dishes. He scrubbed angrily at the plate in his hand.
"Goddamn spot won't go away..." he grumbled and continued to rub viciously at the spot. He stopped abruptly. "Fuck it."
He went to put the plate in the dishwasher to his left without looking. The plate slipped from his soapy fingers and went crashing to the floor. "Fuckin' A..." he mumbled and bent down to pick the pieces. He picked up the tiny pieces first, a few shards sticking into his hands and fingers, and placed them inside the wet paper towel he swept across floor and put it in the garbage can. He began picking up the bigger pieces and cursed when another cut was added to his stinging hand. He sighed and went back to finish stocking the dishwasher.
He moved to place a spoon in the silverware holder and he hissed as his arm came into contact with the sharp edge of a small cleaver. "God...dammit! Why the hell is there a freakin' butcher knife in here? ...Oh, yeah. Isshin..." he said in reference to a few days go when Isshin had insisted he cook them a duck dinner. It was slightly frightening watching him put on a puppet show with the duck's head.
Uryuu shuddered at the thought and looked down to assess the damage of his wrist. He looked at the cut, staring mesmerized as a trail of crimson ran down his arm. He rubbed his thumb across the cut, pressed against it slightly, and watched the blood pool with unblinking eyes. Finally after a few moments he sighed, mumbling "Stupid..." and got up to trudge over to the bathroom for the first aid kit.
After his hands and arm were carefully cleaned and bandaged he went up the stairs and into his room. He pulled a chair in front of the open window, watching the baby blue curtains billow in the slight breeze, and sat with his chin in his hands.
"...maybe they all had something better to do..."
XXX
Ichigo sat at the table eating breakfast with his sisters. Yesterday had been busy, but he had managed to deal with it all and even had time to work on a school project before he had gone to bed that night. Still, it seemed like he had forgotten something. Something important; like, nearing life or death important. He had thought about it and thought about it, but couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was. 'Oh well.' he sighed mentally. 'If I stop thinking about it then eventually it'll come to me. Besides, it couldn't have been that important if I forgot about it.' He rationalized, and ignored the nervous stirring in his stomach.
He was just about to put the last bit of his sister, Yuzu's, special breakfast omelette in his waiting mouth when suddenly a thought hit him. His fork clattered onto his plate and his back went as straight as it physically could. 'I forgot! I FORGOT!'
"HOLY CRAP! I forgot Uryuu's birthday!" he then released a cry of woe and proceeded to bang his head against the table.
His other sister, Karin, scoffed. "You are the worst boyfriend in the history of boyfriends." She nodded. "The Ishidas really are too good for you and dad."
XXX
Renji groaned and got up as a knock came to the door. "Comin'!"
The knocks became more insistent and soon turned into bangs.
"I'm comin' already! For Buddha's sake..." He angrily swung open the door and got an arm full of Strawberry. "Ichigo?"
"Renji!" Ichigo screamed. "You've gotta help me! You have to! I dunno what to do!"
"W-what happened?"
"I fucked up!"
"W-what?!"
"I. Fucked. UP!" he slid down to Renji's feet and clung to his legs sobbing loudly.
Renji stood there, mouth agape. "...Well, this is outta character."
The Kuchiki siblings poked their heads around Renji's side and looked down at the sniveling form.
"What's his problem?" Rukia asked.
Byakuya sniffed. "Whatever the problem is, tell him to come inside so he can stop creating a scene on my door step. And stop crying. You're ruining the 'Go away' mat."
x
"Oh shit. We forgot too." Renji rubbed his neck. "Damn. He probably feels like shit. Did you call him or anything?"
"No. I'm too scared..." He looked up and finally got a good look at Renji. He blinked and wiped at the tear tracks on his cheeks. "What's with the pink glasses?" he pointed.
The redhead sputtered and took them off. "They're, uh, my reading glasses."
"Reading glasses?"
"Yeah, Bya got them for me."
"Bya? ...Wait! You read?!"
"Of course, you idiot! How else am I supposed to do my damn homework?"
"Ahem." Byakuya looked at them blankly. "You're going off on a tangent."
Renji tilted his head to the side in question. "Tangent? What does geometry have to do with anything?"
The elder Kuchiki rolled his eyes. "It also means to divert from the original subject, which you have both managed to do."
"Oh, r-right. We gotta do somethin' about Ishida."
Ichigo rubbed worriedly at his forehead, a headache beginning to come. "I know, but what?"
Rukia walked into the room, cell phone and purse in hand. "I called everyone and told 'em to come over so we can set up a party or something. They all were busy and forgot too."
Renji shook his head sadly. "Geez, we're the worst friends ever."
Ichigo scoffed. "At least you're not the worst boyfriend ever." he groaned. "I knew I was forgetting something, but I pushed it aside and kept thinking it must not have been important. Man, I'm an idiot."
Rukia smirked. "A) Renji's not the worst boyfriend? Are you forgetting about his current situation?"
Ichigo smirked. "Oh, yeah." He frowned. "Okay. So I'm the second worst boyfriend ever."
Rukia rolled her eyes. "Whatever. B) Don't worry. Matsumoto and Yoruichi are coming and they're experts at parties. All you've gotta do is go get Uryuu and bring him here when I call you. We'll have everything put together by the time you come back."
Ichigo sniffed and began walking towards the entrance. "Okay." He wiped at his face again and went out the door.
Renji snickered. "Dead man walkin-Oof!"
Rukia punched him in his solar plexus. "Shut up and help my brother. I'm gonna go to the store."
XXX
The doorbell rang and Uryuu begrudgingly put aside his newest sewing project and descended downstairs. The bell rang multiple times followed by loud bangs. It was getting on his last nerve.
He unlocked the door and swung it open violently. "What?!" He stopped and stared.
His orange haired boyfriend stood there with a single white rose and wore a guilty expression. "Sorry." Ichigo said sullenly.
Uryuu blinked and then promptly slammed the door in his face.
The door shook as it was once again banged on. "Uryuu! Uryuu, please! I'm sorry!"
Ishida marched back to the door and opened it slowly. He looked at Ichigo calmly and spoke in an even voice. His hands were on his hips and he resembled an angry wife. "Give me one reason why I should forgive you or even see you, Ichigo."
Ichigo opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off.
"-Everyone forgot. Everyone. Even my own fath- Er, Ryuuken. Well, to be honest, I'm not all that surprised he forgot." he nodded in thought, but quickly remembered he was supposed to be angry. "I thought my boyfriend of all people would remember. I held onto the hope that you would eventually come over, or call, or send me an e-mail or something."
"Uryuu, I'm sorry! Please just-"
"No! I don't want to see you! I don't want to talk to you! That goes for our 'friends' as well. Just... just go away." He moved to once again slam the door, but Ichigo's foot blocked it.
"Uryuu, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to forget! It just happened. Last night there was a bad car wreck near the clinic and it kept us really busy."
Ishida opened the door a smidgen, releasing Ichigo's foot. "...really?"
"Yeah, really. That's why your dad didn't come home til late. His hospital had to take the more serious injuries." He let the information sink in and watched as Uryuu calmed down. "Now let me in, okay?"
Uryuu stepped aside and let the carrot top in and closed the door. Ichigo sat on the couch and pulled Uryuu down onto his lap and kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sure everyone else had a reason too. We didn't mean to hurt you."
"I know, I just... jumped to conclusions, I guess. Sorry I slammed the door in your face."
Ichigo grinned. "Aw, its alright I would've done the same thing too." He looked down at Ishida's hands. "What happened?" His eyes lingered at the bandage on his wrist.
"I was washing the dishes and I dropped a plate and the pieces kept cutting me while I was cleaning them up. Then I went to put a spoon away and the cleaver caught my arm."
Ichigo sighed in relief. "Oh." Uryuu raised his eyebrow. "Nothing..."
He brought the raven haired boy's face down to his and brought their lips together. Uryuu moaned into the kiss and instantly opened his mouth when he felt Ichigo's tongue lick his lips. He sucked on the invading muscle and ran his hands through his boyfriend's orange locks, tugging on them weakly. He drew in a sharp intake of breath when the strawberry's hands went up his shirt and ghosted across his nipples. Both were startled when Ichigo's phone rang.
Uryuu laughed. "Is that Peanut Butter Jelly Time? How stupid."
"Yuzu set it up." He showed him the screen. "Look. A dancing banana shows up every time it rings." He answered. "Hello? ...Already?! That was fast! ...Of course. Leave it to Yoruichi and Soifon to make a competition out of putting up decorations. ...yeah, he's alright. We're coming. ...Ja." He hung up and stood. "Well, ya ready?"
"Ready? For what? Where're we going?"
"To your much deserved birthday party, of course."
They went outside and began walking to the bus stop after Uryuu locked the door.
"Ichigo."
The boy looked at him with soft eyes and a loving smile. "Yeah?"
"Earlier today, when I walking to the sewing store some guy from our school came up to me and asked me how much a 2 liter was. I said, I had no idea. Then he asked about a 3 liter and I told him I had no idea. I went in the store and came back out and the same guy walked up to me with his friend and they asked how much a 3 gallon was. I told them I didn't know what they were talking about. Then they said, "Oh, you must like to take things slow" and that he'd look me up at school."
Ichigo frowned. "What the hell? Well, I have no idea what the liter shit is all about, but I'm 100 percent sure he was hitting on you. Do you remember what he looks like?" Uryuu nodded. "Good. You point him and his friend out to me at school and then I'll beat his ass."
XXX
Back at the Kuchiki household everyone was running around, making sure everything was perfect. Yoruichi, Soifon, Kuukaku, Isshin, Yuzu, Urahara, Ukitake, and Shunsui got things in the back yard ready (while Ryuuken sat and watched). Matsumoto, Gin, Hitsugaya, Karin, Ganju, Chad, Grimmjow (who was not supposed to be invited for fear of 'Berry molesting', but Yoruichi brought him anyway), and Aizen helped carry in food and games.
Renji, Byakuya, Kira, and Momo were in the kitchen getting some snacks ready.
"Is Hisagi here yet?" Renji asked.
"No. Could you call him just in case?" Hinamori asked innocently.
Renji gulped in nervousness as Byakuya's body went rigid. "S-sure." he reached for the cordless phone sitting on the kitchen's island and began dialing the number all the while glancing at Byakuya. "Hisagi? Yeah, its me. I just wanted to know if you were coming. ...Good. ...No, Ishida's not here yet. ...Okay. ...Oh, yeah, I felt awful too. ...yeah. ...Momo, Izuru, and Rangiku are already here. ...Okay. ...Do I what? ...Yes." Renji sighed and said quietly, "I love you..."
Byakuya shot a glare at him and walked out of the kitchen.
"Uh, Hisagi, I gotta go. Seeyabye!" he hung up and ran after the elder Kuchiki. "Byakuya, wait!"
Hinamori turned to Kira. "What was that about?"
Kira sighed and said softly. "He's... sort of cheating on Hisagi with Kuchiki-san."
The small girl's hair seemed to stand on end like a scared cat. "He's WHAT?!"
"He's cheating on Hisagi with Kuchiki-san. ...sort of."
She looked at the blond boy in horror. "How is it sort of cheating, Izuru?!"
"That's exactly what I asked Renji, but he insists that its 'sort of.'"
She huffed at him angrily and spun on her heal and walked out of the kitchen.
"Hinamori-chan!" He called, but went ignored.
Hinamori rushed out into the living room, pushing Hitsugaya out of the way, and stalked over to Renji. She grabbed his shirt and brought him down to her. "What the HELL do you think you're doing cheating on Hisagi?! How dare you, how dare you, how dare you?!" She emphasized each "how dare you" with a weak punch to his chest.
Renji flushed in half-embarrassment and half-amusement. "Momo, I know it seems bad, but-"
"It 'seems' bad? Seems?!"
"Okay. It is bad, but I-"
"As soon as Hisagi gets here you're telling him."
"But-"
"No BUTS! You either tell him or I do. ...I can't believe you Renji. You're a... You're a, a bast-" Tears started pouring out of her eyes and down her cheeks. "You're a meanie head!" she screamed and fled upstairs.
Gin and Rangiku stood in the green room entrance with two cakes and soda boxes in their hands. "What the hell was that all about?" she asked.
Renji sighed. "She found out about me and Byakuya."
"Oh."
"'think she's mad." Gin said with a grin.
Renji glowered at him.
The front door then burst open and a beaming Yumichika came in followed by a hyperactive Yachiru.
Byakuya turned to Rukia. "You didn't buy any candy did you?"
"Of course not."
"Byakushi!" Yachiru screamed and grabbed his hand, jumping up and down. "I haven't seen you in forever! We're gonna have so much fun tonight! I swear, I won't leave your side for a second!" she giggled.
Byakuya grimaced and looked up to see Unohana smiling at him sweetly. "Unohana-sensei."
"Hello." She continued to smile. "Byakuya we're friends. You don't have to address us so formally. It makes me feel old when you do that."
"My apologies." He looked up and found a scowling Kenpachi. "You're here also, Zaraki."
"Of course. Yachiru needs constant surveillance. Like hell am I gonna have that little demon running around the streets naked on a sugar high."
Yachiru stuck her tongue out at the big man. "Shut up, Ken-chan. You know that only happened once!" She gave a beaming smile again. "Ken-chan, give me more candy."
Byakuya paled.
Kenpachi rolled his visible eye and pulled out a bag of skittles- pure sugar. They all knew it was dangerous to deprive Yachiru of sugar so he had decided to be on the safe side and up the usual dosage of a chocolate bar, pixie sticks, various hard candies, various lollipops, and sometimes (when he wasn't looking), plain sugar.
Yachiru took the candy and dragged her 'boyfriend, Byakushi' off to sit on the couch.
"Hey, Zaraki-taichou. I'm surprised to see you fit through the door"
"Abarai, you son of a bitch! Ikkaku told me about you and Hime. Good job keeping it hidden so long, you dog!" Kenpachi then proceeded to pat Renji on the back nearly sending him sprawled out on the floor.
"R-right. Hi, Unohana-sensei."
"Hello, Abarai-kun." Unohana smiled warmly, but her eyes clearly said, 'I disapprove of what you did.'
Renji laughed nervously at the look and turned to talk to Ikkaku and Yumichika. "So what took you guys so long?"
Yumichika gave a look of indifference. "There wasn't enough room in the car so we had to put Ikkaku in the trunk."
"You rode in the trunk?!" the redhead gaped in shock.
"Yeah." Ikkaku gave him a blank look. "So?" (1)
Renji sweat dropped. "...you guys are weird."
Rukia was going to talk to Rangiku when she noticed Unohana staring intently at something.
"Unohana-sensei, is there something wrong?"
Unohana merely pointed to what she was looking at.
On the floor near the air hockey table sat a cage holding a small white rabbit with red eyes.
"Oh, that's my bunny! Her name's Chappy. Here, let me take her out." She took the bunny out of the cage and turned to let Unohana pet her, but the woman wasn't there. "Where'd she-"
"She don't like 'em."
"Hey, Zaraki-sensei. What did you mean?"
"Rabbits. She don't like 'em. She's scared of 'em."
Rukia stared at the peaceful woman in disbelief as she hurriedly made her way to the backyard. "Oh... That's... weird." 'More like, impossible!' She kissed the rabbit's head. "Dun worry, Chappy. I still love you!" She cooed.
"They're here!" Someone called.
In walked Ishida and Ichigo hand-in-hand. Ichigo grinned and Ishida smiled softly as they all crowded around him. He said "Its okay, its okay." to all the apologies and teary eyes.
Ichigo rolled his eyes. "So we know why our families forgot. What about the rest of you?"
Rukia was the first to speak. "My brother ingested some eggs and didn't want to be seen by anyone after we got him from the hospital." She looked at a certain redhead and smirked. "Renji wouldn't leave his side."
Gin raised his hand with a cute pout adorning his face. "Me an' Izuru had ta go on a field trip."
"For our journalism class." Kira added.
Matsumoto sighed. "I had to get my nails done."
They gave her a blank look.
"What? It was an emergency! If it makes you happy, I was stuck with my mom the whole time." She flicked her hair over her shoulder.
"Okaaay..." Ichigo scratched his neck.
"Ganju and I had business. That's all you need to know." Kuukaku said obviously referring to her technically illegal fireworks business.
"I didn't even know when your birthday was. I'm just here for Ichigo." Grimmjow replied, aloof.
"That's exactly why you weren't invited." Rukia dead panned.
Yumichika looked at him apologetically. "Ikkaku and I had to babysit Yachiru while Kenpachi and Unohana went out."
Ukitake sniffed in disdain. "Shunsui thought I was having an attack when really I was coughing from some horrid cologne he had on. He wouldn't let me leave the house."
Uryuu laughed when Shunsui cowered under Ukitake's glare.
"Yoruichi and Soifon accompanied me to pick up a new shipment of candy." Urahara said after flipping out his trademark fan.
"Toushirou and I were helping our neighbor move." Hinamori said softly.
"I had presidential duties." Aizen sighed.
"Where's Tousen?"
"Having his monthly visit to the ophthalmologist."
"Wha?"
"Eye doctor." Ryuuken replied in a 'you're an idiot' tone.
"Aa." Ichigo chose to ignore how he said it.
Hisagi was let in by Rukia. He entered the room slightly out of breath. "Sorry. The bus ran late."
"And yesterday?" Rangiku asked earning a 'You shouldn't be judging anyone' look.
"Hm? Oh. Family issues."
"Aa. Chad?"
"Work." Was all the tall teen said.
Uryuu smiled at them all. "Well, its okay. I'm just glad to know you guys care. I'm... extremely thankful." he bowed.
"Aw, enough of this! Let's get the party started! First event: PING PONG!" Yoruichi announced.
x
The group sat outside in the grass, eyes fixed upon the ping pong table.
Urahara and Yoruichi were going up against Isshin and Soifon.
"The mean Hornet lady and the Kitty lady seem to be more into it!" Yachiru announced with a smile.
"That's cuz they're, like, eternal rivals." Ichigo mumbled.
Yoruichi dove for the tiny plastic ball sending it soaring past Soifon's head, grazing her slightly. It went flying over the wall and to who-knows-where.
The dark skinned woman grinned. "Gotta do better than that if you're gonna beat me."
"Oh, don't worry. I plan on it." Soifon said. "Your serve."
Yoruichi complied and sent the ball hurling at the small woman who in turn hit it back. They went back and forth until Soifon hit the ball over her head.
"Haha! Who's gotta do better now?" she smirked.
Yoruichi smiled haughtily. "I'm only getting started."
Soifon served and she returned it and they went back and fourth. Eventually Isshin and Urahara moved to join the group on the grass.
"Kurosaki-kun, I think its safe to say that we're no longer needed."
Isshin grinned. "Its better this way. My arms were getting tired."
"Aa. And let's not forget them calling us stupid whenever we missed."
For several minutes (20 to be exact) ping pong balls flew everywhere until finally Yoruichi sent the ball in a direction that Soifon couldn't possibly get to in time.
Soifon dove for the ball and missed by a few inches, falling to the ground on her knees. "Dammit!"
Yoruichi threw her head back and laughed. "Ha! I told ya I'd win!" She helped the other woman off of the ground, ignoring the weak glare being sent at her. She turned to the group. "Anyone else?"
They eeped a 'No.' and shook their heads enthusiastically.
"Fine, ya pansies. Next event: DODGE BALL!"
x
"Alright. The captains are me and Soifon. Get over it. Who wants to be on my team?" Kuukaku jumped up. "Cool. Who else?" No one else moved. "I said, who else?" she glared.
Yoruichi's team ended up being: Kuukaku, Ganju, Ichigo, Grimmjow, Gin, Ikkaku, Aizen, and Yachiru. Soifon's was: Chad, Renji, Isshin, Hisagi, Rukia, Kenpachi, Karin, and Hitsugaya.
The rest of the group sat several feet away on the patio and watched. Bad idea.
Rukia had two sets of rope set down the middle of the yard with 8 balls evenly spaced between them. She didn't have any actual dodge balls so they made due with soccer balls, beach balls, bouncy balls, various rubber balls, and foam balls. This would also prove to be a bad idea. The soccer balls, that is.
The teams lined up on their respective sides of the rope and got ready to charge.
Yuzu stood on the sidelines holding a flag that had a sakura painted on it. "Ready? Steady... GO!" she cheered as she waved the flag.
Yoruichi and Soifon reached the balls first, both chucking them at each other, and both dodging them. This went on for quite some time.
Kenpachi was killing whoever he threw a ball at. Ganju, Ichigo, and Aizen were taken out by the titan. He roared with laughter as they held their sides and crawled off the lawn. His laughter stopped when Yachiru stopped in front of him, hand raised with a foam ball. Kenpachi couldn't bring himself to throw a ball at her or move out the way for she was giving him her kid-in-a-candy-store eyes; his one weakness besides Unohana when angry. He sighed in defeat as he let the girl toss her ball at him and walked off to the side. He growled in slight annoyance as Unohana laughed at him.
Gin, being the sneaky fox that he is, began to duck and weave as he grabbed a ball and ran to the back. At the same time Ukitake had gotten up to get an ice cream.
Time seemed to slow down as the soccer ball Gin threw went racing towards Ukitake's white haired head.
"Jyuu-chan! DUCK!" Shunsui called.
"Hmm?" Ukitake turned his head and the ball crashed into the left side of his face. "Aah!"
Everything was in slow motion. Shunsui and various women stood with their arms reached out in his direction. Gin stood wide eyed, mouth open in shock. Urahara turned his head to the side so that he couldn't see the impact.
Ukitake landed on the ground in a heap and laid still.
"He ain't movin'." Kenpachi stated after a few seconds.
Kyouraku was on his feet and by his white haired lover's side in seconds. He shook the man's shoulders. "Jyuushirou? Jyuushirou!"
The man coughed harshly and rolled from side-to-side, moaning loudly. "Oh, Kami..."
"Jyuushirou, are you okay?" Kyouraku's eyes were filled with concern.
"Shun? What happened?" Ukitake asked with tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.
Gin gingerly walked up to the man's side, ice pack in hand. He genuinely felt sorry for hitting such a nice man. "Sorry, sir. I hit ya with a soccer ball. I wasn't tryin' to. Honest."
Shunsui snatched the ice pack out of Gin's hand, sending the teen a half-glare. He softly placed the pack on the man's face and helped him sit up. "You alright, babe?"
Ukitake laughed and wiped at his eyes. "Yes, yes, I'm fine." He looked up at the silver haired boy. "You got me good. I'm really not as young as I used to be. A few years ago I probably would've been able to dodge that. Then again, I wasn't expecting to be hit." he sighed. He stood up and mumbled a 'Woah...' as his head started spinning and he stumbled.
"I got you." Kyouraku picked him up bridal-style and carried him back to the outdoor couch they were seated on.
"Shun, I can walk for myself." the man protested.
"Maybe, but I like carrying you. Plus, I'm stronger than you, so you don't have a choice." He laughed heartily at the icy glare thrown at him. "Aw, I was just kidding Jyuu-chan." He seated them on the couch and cradled Ukitake's head on his lap, softly petting his hair. "Shh. That's a good boy." Shunsui chuckled.
"Shut up."
Elsewhere from the sidelines, Aizen meekly kicked a rubber ball. It went into the air and hit Renji in the back of his head.
Renji choked on his soda and spit furiously, turning to see who did it.
Aizen gave him a small smirk. "Sorry, Abarai-san. It really was an accident." And it truly was.
"A funny accident, huh, Sousuke?" Gin grinned from the brunette's left.
Renji, tired of being at the brunt of their jokes, kicked the ball as hard as he could in their direction. The brunette and the fox easily sidestepped it with a grin.
Uryuu about-faced just in time to be hit directly on his glasses with the ball which bounced off his face and hit Byakuya right in the jaw.
Ikkaku, Kenpachi, and Grimmjow howled with laughter, slapped their knees and held onto their sides, screaming, "What're the odds!?" "Guess Hime ain't so pretty no more!" "I think Ishida's glasses are embedded in his skull!"
Ichigo rushed over to Uryuu, holding the boy's face in his hands. "You okay?"
"Yeah, it hurts though. It hit my glasses dead on. Is there a mark?"
"...No." Ichigo lied. (2)
Uryuu gave him a blank look. "You're a terrible liar."
"Sorry." The carrot top turned to Renji to yell at him, but saw Rukia was taking care of it instead.
"You idiot!" She screamed and punched his head. "How the hell do you hit the freakin' birthday boy?!"
"I'm sorry!" he said and looked up from cowering to find Byakuya glaring down at him.
The man's face was calm, but the look in his eyes was deadly. He spoke evenly. "For your sake a bruise better not form." he turned to go inside of the house.
Renji followed after him. "Shit. Byakuya, wait! I'm sorry!"
Hisagi looked at Yumi who only shrugged.
Kuukaku rolled her eyes. "Well, that sucked. What now?"
"We'll have to do something else." Yoruichi sighed. She turned to Soifon and said, "Draw."
Soifon nodded and turned up her nose. "Sure, but I would've won anyway."
"Whatever." Kuukaku grumbled.
"Right. Anyway. Listen up, guys! This event was a draw. Next event: Air hockey!"
x
Air hockey was also a bad idea.
Yachiru went up against Ikkaku. She was determined to "beat, Baldy." As per usual, she got out of control and ended up breaking something. Namely the expensive crystal on the shelf behind the table. Thankfully it wasn't Ikkaku's head. She burst into tears begging Byakuya not to hate her, who assured her (as he tried to de-tangle her from his foot) that he didn't hate her. The pink haired girl immediately perked up and continually told Byakuya how stupid it was to put glass bottles there in the first place.
"If it were, say, candy, then nothing would've been broken!" she chirped.
Yoruichi and Soifon then played against each other. Several broken bottles, a scared bunny, a possible broken rib (which belonged to Chad), and a single hole in the wall later; Yoruichi won.
The cat-like woman grinned. "I won again!"
"Mean Wasp lady, zero and Pretty Kitty lady, two!" Yachiru cheered.
"Bull..." Soifon grumbled.
Yoruichi smirked slyly. "Now, now. No need for jealousy." she tsked. "Okay. Next event: DDR!"
x
Yoruichi and Soifon decided to go first to get things over with. They played 10 songs, all of which on heavy or challenge mode. Yoruichi got ahead once, then Soifon, and then they remained tied for four. They took a break to stretch and went for it again.
Yoruichi lost only because she had to hold her "boobs."
Soifon scoffed. "Whatever. I kicked your ass."
Urahara and Isshin decided to do a song. Yoruichi and Ichigo threw any shoes they could find at them as they played causing them to trip several times. After they got booed and failed, both men took a flip-flop and turned Yoruichi and Ichigo over and spanked them.
Yoruichi struggled against Isshin. Ichigo did not struggle when Urahara bent him over.
x
"Next event: CAKE AND ICE CREAM!" Yachiru announced.
Unohana and Ukitake lit the candles on one of the cakes and pushed it in front of Uryuu. "Blow out the candles and make a wish." they cooed.
Uryuu beamed and blew out the candles and they clapped and cheered.
At that point, Kuukaku and Urahara stepped out of the shadows with paddles in there hands and devious looks, mentioning something about "birthday pandying." and reminding him that he was 17.
Ichigo stepped between them and held up his arms protectively in front of Uryuu. "No more spanking!"
Gin studied the cakes. "What kind'er these?"
"Oh!" Rukia said. "One's carrot cake and the other's strawberry short cake. That's all they had left."
They all looked at Ichigo.
The orange haired teen raised an eyebrow. "What?"
X
They migrated out to the backyard patio again and sat around eating (a la Yachiru and Ukitake), gossiping (a la Yumichika and Matsumoto) and telling perverted stories (a la Shunsui, Isshin, Urahara, Kenpachi, Ikkaku, Kuukaku, Grimmjow, and Renji).
Hisagi's eyes narrowed when he noticed Renji's hand resting on Byakuya's lower back. "Renji."
Renji started and looked at the spiky haired boy. "Yeah?"
"We need to talk."
"Uh oh." Kenpachi laughed earning a slap to the head from Unohana.
Hisagi only raised an eyebrow and dragged Renji off to the side of the house.
"What the hell's going on?"
Renji tilted his head to the side in confusion.
"You know what. What's up with you and Kuchiki?"
Renji looked down and remained quiet.
"I knew it. I tried to give you some credit, but I guess I was wrong. You really are a cheating bastard." the black haired teen sneered.
"Hisagi..."
"Did you love me at all?"
"Of course I did!"
"Give me one reason why I should believe you."
Renji stared then sighed, rubbing tiredly at his neck. "I... can't."
Hisagi scoffed. "It all makes sense now. The way you talked about him, the way you looked at him. I was such a fool. How many people knew?"
Renji shrugged. "Well... pretty much everyone." He replied, digging himself into a deeper hole.
Hisagi glared at the dismissing tone he used. "What was I to you?"
"Hisagi, please-"
"You knew how much I loved you. And even though you hardly said it back I still believed that you felt the same. I was a fool for believing that too, wasn't I?"
Renji looked him in the eye. "Hisagi, I'm sorry. I really am, but I just never... felt that way about you. Well, I did at first, but..." he trailed off.
Hisagi merely stared. "So that's it? You settled for me because you thought you couldn't get him? I was your plan B?" he stated more than asked.
"Hisagi..."
"Don't bother."
Renji watched as Hisagi threw him once last glare and walked around the corner. After a few minutes he walked around the corner and saw Shuuhei dragging Ikkaku off telling him to take him home.
He sat on a chair with a weary sigh. "What the fuck just happened?"
"I think Shoe just dumped yer ass." Grimmjow muttered around his cigarette.
Izuru sat beside him and gently rubbed his back. "I'm sorry it went like that."
"No. Its my fault. I mean, he's right. That's exactly what our relationship was from the start. I shouldn't have dragged him into my problems." He put his head in his hands. "Now we're probably not even gonna be friends anymore. Fuck... What should I do?"
"You have to talk to him." Izuru frowned slightly when he noticed Byakuya smirking in triumph.
"I don't even think I can face him again."
Grimmjow scoffed, smoke billowing out of his mouth. "Ya know what, Monkey?"
They all looked at Grimmjow expectantly. The smoke floating around him caught the light of the street lamps, creating a hazy halo. His azure eyes glinted in slight sympathy as he looked Renji dead in the eye. He took a final drag on his cancer stick before throwing it to the ground and stomping it out with the heel of his beat up, black boot.
He opened his mouth and said, "...You're fucked up."
It was silent for moment before Gin, Grimmjow, Kuukaku, and Kenpachi started snickering.
Kira rolled his eyes and Renji gave another sigh.
XXX
After the party Ichigo and Isshin stayed at the Ishida house with their boyfriends while Yuzu and Karin spent the night with Yachiru.
Ichigo looked over to Uryuu from his bed. "Alright, alright. You've been sewing for hours. Come to bed already."
"Fine, fine." Uryuu got up from the chair and turned off the machine. "I still can't believe you guys all pitched in to get me a sewing machine."
"Then you like it?" Ichigo grinned.
"Of course."
"Good." Ichigo sighed softly, moving over to make room for Uryuu. "Did you have fun today?"
"Today was the best birthday ever. It really was. Even with the uh..."
"Love triangle? Or the 'triangle of hate' as Kuukaku called it."
"Yes, that." Ishida laughed and snuggled into Ichigo's warm embrace.
"Oh!" Ichigo started. "I asked around about that 2 liter thing you mentioned earlier today."
"And?"
"Apparently that guy thinks you're a whore or somethin'."
"What?"
"Yeah. Kuukaku and Grimmjow told me its like code for sex or something. 2 liter's like a blow job and a 3 gallon is like a gang bang!" (3)
Uryuu's eyes widened then narrowed in anger. "We're going to find that guy-"
"-and rip his balls off." Ichigo finished in agreement. "But right now we're going to sleep."
"Right." Uryuu sighed.
"You busy this weekend? I figured we'd go see a movie or something."
"Oh, I can't." Ishida said.
"Why not?"
"The night of my birthday when Ryuuken came home he said something about you being 'a no good boyfriend' and that he'd fix me up with someone himself. I called him fuck face and he grounded me."
Ichigo chuckled. "Fuck face?"
"I was tired and angry and couldn't think of anything else to say."
"Well, I guess that's a good reason." Ichigo laughed earning a weak punch in the stomach. He smiled softly as Ishida laughed. "You're so cute."
"Shut up. Goodnight, Ichigo." Uryuu muttered and instantly fell asleep.
"'Night."
The orange haired teen soon drifted off into his own dream world...
(1) One Halloween our friend Madelyn had to pick everyone up. We went to pick up her baby nephew, but his dad wanted to come too. There was no room with the car seats and all so he rode in the trunk. We had to drive really slowly. It was funny whenever we hit a bump 'cause he'd moan and then she'd say, "You okay?"
(2) That dodge ball thing actually happened. My friend Stephanie kicked the ball and it hit our friend Justin in the head and he tried to get back at her. She kept running in front of me so when he threw the ball Stephanie ducked and I was hit in the face. I was down for like a minute just moaning and rolling around. It really was all in slow motion. Then Saul hit our friend Christine and her glasses left a mark on her face.
(3) Apparently that's what they mean. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Wow. Yeah, I'd been working on this for... since the day of Uryuu's birthday (Nov. 6), but I kept getting writer's block and I procrastinated as per usual. So sorry its so late. It was supposed to be posted LAST night, but I was having such a hard time coming up with anything. So now Ikkaku's birthday is tomorrow (Nov. 9). Its true. Look it up on Wiki. Anyhoo. Sorry if it's a bit lackluster and long. The next chapter will be good though because it'll be another dream chapter! WOOT!
Yeah, I'm in a better mood this week too. Last time it really wasn't even about reviews, I was pissed off at something else and took it out on you guys. Gomen ne. -bows-