Greetings!

Come ON,PEOPLE!!! NOT ENOUGH REVIEWS!!! JUST 29 DEAD!!!

I STILL don't own FMA...maybe it'll be better for teh human population...SUE OF THE DAY! FROM LIGHTNING LATIAS

Name: Jessie Alexandra Cleopatra Twinklefairy

Occupation: SUE

Likes: PRIDE!!! (For what reason I do not know but it is DEFINATLY disturbing...)

Born in a rich family by a successful businessman, Jessie was raised with a silver spoon in her mouth. However, her father had a SLIGHT addiction to gambling...and her mother divorced because of that reason. Jessie was then put into care and lives to find Pride 'cos he was so adorable.

- - - - -

Previously on this very fic, Mustang has managed to convince Wrath (With a Sue) and now has command over a small Blitz-Kreig. Ed's STILL getting a beat-up from Winry and Precious, Father, Al and Ling are having a very....interesting tea-party.

"Oh, I'm still a tad curious on this 'Alkahestry' you speak so highly of."

"Everybody is, Father Darling." Smiled Ling as he helped himself to another crumpet. "These are delicious."

"Oh yes. Do you want the recipe?"

"That'll be wonderful."

Al stared disbelievingly at the pair. Something is DEFINATLY not right with Ling's mind. However, he had another problem to worry about...like a certain sue.

Precious sighed dreamily as she held on Al's arm tightly. Her slim, yet strong arms tightened every second.

"LET GO OF AL!!"

Edward, who now finally got some screentime that didn't have him getting the *Censored* beaten out of him by Winry.

Precious squealed in a very obsessive way (Not very surprising). "EDDIE-KINS!!!"

*Blink*

"E...Eddie-kins...?" Al managed to choke out.

Ling Laughed.

"YOU JUST WAIT, LING!!!" Screamed Ed as he peeled off his gloves. Then the automail became a lethal blade and Ed stabbed Precious in the gut.

"Tee-hee-hee!" Giggled Precious. "That tickles! Do it again!"

Ling stared.

Al Facepalmed.

Ed turned green.

Father sipped his tea. (Ok, that does NOT help adding to the atmosphere at ALL.)

THWUMP!!! They all fainted.

"Hmm...who should I choose..." Sighed Precious.

"BACK OFF!" Screamed a voice oh-so crystal clear.

"Jessie." Growled Precious.

"Precious." Growled Jessie. "NObody sets their grubby little paws on MY EDWARD!!!NO ONE!! NEVER!!!" Then Jessie went into an angst mode so deep you could see the emoness.

(The Authoress apopogises once again for the censor. The amount of pink, sparkles, Twilight-ness and Mary-Sue angst would most likely give you another seizure.)

- - - - -

"Blood all over my best floor..." Sighed Father. "Oh well."

"Are you sure you won't need our help, Father-san?" Asked Al. (Ed tried to stop him by nudging his ribs. It didn't work.)

"I think I'll manage just fine." Replied Father. "Do pop over for some more tea, Ling. I'd like to speak with my 'son' as well."

"I'll do my best." THe three heroes walked away into the dramatic sunset, where another fan-character was waiting for them.

- - - - -

"Soo.." Began Starlight. "What's your favorite shade of pink?"

"Electric Pink, for sure!" Piped Hannah. She twirled her sleek blonde hair around her index finger delicatly.

"I prefer Bubblegum Pink." Said Julia. "It's such a sweet colour. What's yours, Starlight-san?"

"Mine?" Starlight was delighted. "Metallic pink!"

Fangirly, yet pure screams echoed around Central and shattered all glass/crystal objects within three miles.

- - - - - -

Envy started to hate his life.

It all started on that fated day when Armor-kid wrecked his sleep...RIGHT AFTER HE MADE UP A TOTALLY AWESOME NEW PLAN INCLUDING SHRIMPS AND A BARBEQUE GRILL!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPITY BEEP BEEP BLEEEEEEEEPP...

*Cough* Anyways, now here he was, tied up and 'planted' 'cos Lila said he looked like a palm tree, for some reason...

"Psst!"

Envy (attempted) turned around.

"PSST!!!"

It was...guess who...Edward.

"Oh." Said Envy, uninterested. "It's the s..."

"WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL YOU HAVE TROUBLE SEEING HIM EVEN UNDERNEATH A MAGNIFYING GLASS?! HUH??? DO YOU WANT YOUR FACE TO BE REMODELLED?!" Ed (Stupidly) jumped through the widow glass and punched Envy's face with his RIGHT arm.

Al facepalmed. Again.

"Ooh, Eddie has come to visit me...!" A sweet giggle came from downstairs and drew closer and closer...

"GAAH!" Ed started flapping around the room like a headless chicken. Envy smiled sadistically.

"Oi, Lila-chan! The Midget's hiding underneath the sofa..."

The door opened. Ed was tettering on one leg in an awkward manner with one hand on Envy's mouth and another grasping the Homunculus' neck tightly. He froze when he saw Lila's pinkness.

"OH GAWD I'M BLIND!!!" Screamed Ed. He staggered around the room for a bit before falling out of the broken window with a petrified 'hamster' squeal. Envy laughed histerically...and then choked on air.

"EDDIE!!!" Lila leapt out of the window toward Ed who was trying to escape form the sue. Ling and Al took that chance to untie Envy.

"W...why are you helping me?" Envy cut down the remaining ties of rope with a blade arm, but he cut himself with said arm with confusion.

"We need some extra help." Whispered Ling. "There are too many Sues invading Amestris. Old man Fu said that Sues teleport off to some other random place seconds before capture."

"And what's that got to do with me?"

Their conversation was interrupted by a female figure cloaked in black jumping through the window.

"Who..who are you?" Gasped Al.

"My name is Artimis." Replied the feminine voice.

- - -

Who is Artimis? (NO, you stupid Artimis Fowl fan, NO.) What is her goal? Is she an allie or an enemy? Will I ever stop asking these pointless questions? That's for you to find out. If you review, I'll say hi back to you!!

Hey, you know that button...yes, that button? Yeah, the one that says 'REVIEW'? Click on it because I'm depressed. Sues welcome!

(Sues are welcome because the Authoress has a nice, shiny, sparkly blade decorated nicely with red liquid and bone fragments prepared specially for them...)

For those of you that hate Hannah Montana's guts...TREAT!!! When this fic gets over 43 reviews you'll see her die in a very messy manner...