We are sat in front of the TV.
I have a boner and I feel thoroughly embarrassed.
We finished a rather heavy snog sesh a few minutes ago and I can't quite fathom why I still haven't calmed down.
I stare at the obese news reporter and try to picture him naked and sweaty.
My boner isn't so bony anymore.
Job done.
We're both slouched on the sofa, Grimmjow lounging at one end and I'm stretched out on the rest of it, my feet tucked under his backside. I wiggly my toes and he groans and tries to push my feet away. I chuckle at his childishness, and my own, then his glare melts. His hand that was about to slap my calf rests against it and I feel his thumb rubs circles on my skin.
We sit there in silence and simply watch the news.
I actually can't describe this feeling.
Then the weather comes on.
"Nice day tomorrow," Grimmjow comments. "Wanna go to the beach?"
We've been going out for about 12 days; not that I'm counting. We've been together every weekend, all weekend. Just bumming around, watching scary films, eating nachos and drinking cream soda.
It might sound like we've been having a whale of a time but I am just so happy right now I don't care if you think that doing absolutely nothing together is boring. I love every minute.
"We have school tomorrow, noob." I reply.
"So?" He looks at me with a raised eyebrow.
The next day I end up heaving myself from bed at approximately 6:30 in the morning and we both catch an early train to the seaside. When we arrive at about 9 o'clock it appears that the weather man was bullshitting.
It's drizzling; the clouds are low and grey and they remind me of cobwebs. The cliffs on either side of the beach curl inwards like the claws of some great tiger that lies beneath the surface of the earth. The sea is a murky green and the foam is thick and frothy. As the drizzle turns into rain I feel my feet slowly sink into the dirty sand.
"I think the weather dude was on cocaine." I hear Grimmjow mutter.
We trot across the sand and pebbles and put our bags right up against the cliff to protect them from the rain. I flop down onto my bag and snuggle into my jumper. Grimmjow sits down softly next to me.
"Sorry." He grumbles, pulling his hood over his head and resting himself against my shoulder.
"I'm not bothered." I tell him. "Anywhere is fine."
I really would go anywhere as long as he comes with me.
We watch a group of teenagers in wetsuits skip across the sand with surfboards. They fanny about a bit but the waves are pretty pathetic. They leave after an hour or so. I glance around, suddenly realizing; we are totally alone.
I jump up and peel off my clothes right down to my boxers. Grimmjow, who had fallen asleep, jerks awake and freezes as he notices I am without the majority of my clothes.
"I'll beat you." I laugh, then turn and run for the water. HAHAHA! I do a little dance of joy in my head because the three year old in me is so proud that I'm going to beat Grimmjow to the sea.
Then something hits me in the side and I go crashing to the sand.
"See you, Strawberry!" Grimm cries as he goes flying past, cackling in mirth.
Fucking Strawberry?
I scramble to my feet and scoop up some mushy sand. I throw it with all my might and it slaps him in the back of the head. The force of it sends him off balance; his feet trip on a rock and go flying over his head. He lands with a wet slap on the sand, an inch from the water.
My laughter takes me to my knees and I half-walk, half-crawl to where Grimmjow is lying spread eagle on the ground.
He wasn't too impressed and sulked for a bit but when we found a dead jellyfish he perked right up again. He poked it and prodded it and only left it alone when I threatened to hit him.
Then it begins to rain.
And I mean this is a proper downpour, nothing like earlier; thunder crackles and dances out at sea. Grimmjow suddenly grabs my wrist and drags me into the water. We wrestle and swim and even eat some sand by accident, but then something slimy and scaly brushed my leg and I run straight for the shore, screaming. Grimm jogs after me, laughing and holding up some seaweed. I snatch it off him and slap him with it.
As we get back to the cliffs I begin to shiver. It's a cold day, after all, and the water is freezing. I'm only wearing my boxers and the water has made them stick to my skin; I might as well be naked. I don't look at Grimmjow because I know he is no better off and I don't really need an unwanted boner right now.
I wrap a towel around my waist and tug off my boxers. I climb into my hoodie and turn to look at Grimmjow. He's looking up at the cliffs that tower over us with his mouth slightly open and is absent-mindedly drying his hair with a towel. He's only wearing a shirt and some dry surf shorts have been hastily thrown on. As his arms stretch up to dry his electric blue hair the surf shorts slip dangerously over his hips.
It feels like I might gag or sneeze or burst into tears when I see his blue pubic hair poke out from the top of his shorts.
I snap my head away and focus on brushing the sand off my legs.
But apparently I'm not quick enough.
"Ichigo."
I slowly turn to face him. I already know I'm bright red. He sits down on his bag and pats his lap.
"Come here."
The atmosphere is suddenly thick and stifling and he is smiling at me toothily as if nothing is out of the ordinary.
"I'm not wearing any pants." I say quietly, very aware of how naked I am underneath my hoodie and towel. Am I reading into this too much? Maybe he just wants to hug or something.
His shoulders relax and he leans against the cliff face.
"You don't have to if you don't want to." He says, softly. "Get some clothes on and we'll grab an ice cream, if you want?"
I pause because there's suddenly loads of things swirling around in my head.
Of course I've thought about touching Grimmjow and stuff but there's a difference from imagining it and actually doing it.
Even a simple wank seems frightening now. What will it be like, being so intimate with someone? Especially when that someone has blue hair and makes my heart hammer like a drum.
I swallow the spit that has gathered in my throat and walk over to Grimmjow and sit sideways on his lap. I rest my head against his neck and don't move an inch for fear I might grind against something.
Of course there was everything that happened during our confrontation, before I ran off, but that was an act of adrenalin. I had been so distracted and confused and frustrated; I hadn't jerked off in ages, so before I even knew what was happening I was coming in my pants.
Slowly his arms embrace me and I feel a breath of laughter on my shoulder.
"What?" I ask, sitting bolt upright and staring him in the face. What the fuck is so funny? Is he laughing at me?
"Nothing. Your just too wonderful, is all." He mutters, not looking at me.
"Oh." I say quietly, not sure how to react at being called 'wonderful'. So I proceeding to rest my head against his shoulder again and we just sit like that.
He doesn't touch me, at least not like that.
Instead a hand weaves into my hair, pulling me close; another sits on my hip.
It is then I realise I'd like him to touch me. I'd like him to grab my dick and make me come. I'd like him to finger me and take me balls deep right there against the cliff.
I sigh with a mixture of amusement and frustration.
Maybe later...
I doze off as his thumb stokes the softness under my ear and his heart thumps under my cheek.
When I wake up sometime later we get our clothes on and the sun comes out.
Don't get me wrong, it's still freezing, but at least it's a little brighter.
We set out to build a big ass sandcastle but just end up burying a bit of drift wood and digging a huge hole.
"What was the point of this?" I ask in exasperation, as I wipe sweat off my forehead and we stand, belly button deep, in the biggest hole ever made by man.
It appears though, that not even Grimmjow can fathom a reason, so we bugger off to some shitty cafe and buy some lunch.
I break off bits of bread from my baguette and throw it to some birds. Grimmjow just throws the whole thing at a seagull and kills it.
We explore some caves at the opposite end of the beach and shout words like 'foreskin' and 'erectile dysfunction' just to listen to the echoes.
I tug off my jumper and set up my iPod and speakers on top of it so it doesn't get sand all over it. We dance around like retards and try to moonwalk and robot across the sand. We do handstands and cartwheels and Grimmjow does a spectacular back flip and then lands on his ass.
Then when we explore the rock pools, Grimmjow finds a crab. Perhaps it's best I explain this first.
I am absolutely terrified of Crabs.
Scratch that.
Petrified.
Grimm runs over to me waving the crab over his head as if it's a flag. It's huge and I am ashamed to say I screamed. Grimmjow thought this was absolutely pants-pissingly hilarious and chased me, trying to get me to touch his motherfucking crab.
The whole day I have done nothing but laugh.
"You like Dinosaurs?" Grimmjow asks me sometime later.
We are sat in the middle of the beach; the tide has gone right out. Grimmjow is lying on his front drawing in the sand and I am sat next to him with a book in my hands. The sun is setting and we only have about an hour left before we have to get back on the train and go home.
"I've always loved them." I say, absentmindedly over my book about prehistoric animals. "When I was a little kid, my mum gave this huge encyclopedia book on them and I'd make her read it to me before I went to bed instead of a normal kiddies bed-time book." I chuckle to myself, remembering how I used to wait in bed for her to come and tuck me in. For me, it was the most exciting part of the day.
"Ohh? That's pretty cool. Which is your favourite?" He asks, rolling onto his side to look at me. I set my book down and draw my knees up to my chin.
"Styracosaurus."
I can tell from his frown he doesn't know what the fuck I'm on about. I laugh at his expression.
Then he sits up quickly.
"Hey, if you like them so much why don't you be one of those dinosaur fossil people?"
"Nice technical language there, Grimm. Sure you didn't mean a Palaeontologist?" I ask with a snort.
"Blah, blah." he says waving his hand impatiently. "But yeah, seriously you should look into it."
"But I'm gonna be a doctor. My dad's already pulled a few strings at a university in Tokyo." I say, slightly confused. I like dinosaurs, but I only ever thought of it as a hobby or an interest before now.
"Riiiight. Well if that's what you want. But if you're going to be doing something for the rest of your life, it might as well be about something you're passionate about."
That... makes sense.
"So what do you want to do after school, then?" I ask.
"Be a social worker. Or at least something like that." He grins at my dropped jaw. "I know I must look pretty dumb in history since that's my worst subject, but maths, the sciences and psychology really interest me. And if I can do all that and maybe help people... Well, it seems perfect."
"That's amazing." I say. And I really am amazed.
"Yeah I know I am." he laughs at me and I try to scowl at him, but my face won't do what I want it to.
In a matter of weeks I am a totally different person with a totally different purpose. I would never ever run around and act like a complete and utter retard, as demonstrated today.
I don't scrutinize my behaviour or hold anything back when I am with Grimmjow. It's all just so natural, I feel like I can do anything.
I feel so light; so happy.
I expect if someone sneezed I'd just float away on the breeze.
A little while later we grab our stuff and walk towards to train station. As we board the train and find a seat I glance out the window.
The sun is setting and the world is basked in a blanket of gold.
Today has quite possibly been one of the best day of my life.
Much love for all you wonderful reviewers! Especially ll Tisiphone ll, sethadmirer, sekioxxxand treee! :D