Love the Unloved
Chapter 9
It was the first day of the holidays where there would be next to no students at Hogwarts. Hermione was relieved that she no longer had to conform to wearing the school uniform. Hermione made sure that she had used her new hair products to make it sleek and curled rather than frizzy and massive and then clipped it in a half ponytail with her jewel studded clip. She had put on her new cream sweater that fell off of her shoulders and her new pair of black slacks that were fitted and rested low on her hips. To finish off her look she wore the new black opened toed heals and the tiniest amount of lip gloss since she didn't care for extreme amounts of makeup.
Hermione looked herself over in the mirror and took a deep breath. While the students were gone was probably her best chance at impressing Professor Snape, if that was even possible, and she was determined to at least try. Hermione quickly grabbed her book, Dangerous Potions of the Wizarding World, and left her room in hopes that Professor Snape would be prowling about.
The young Gryffindor slowly walked the corridors with her nose in her book until she came across the Transfiguration class where McGonagall still taught even as Headmistress. Hermione couldn't help but over hear the Headmistress and Madam Pomfrey talking and normally she would pay it no mind but when she heard Professor Snape's name, she had snapped to attention.
"Poppy, I am very concerned about Severus. I just don't know what to do with him," Minerva said.
"Minerva, you know that he has always been a difficult person even as a student and there isn't anything we can do about it. If my suspicions about him are correct then I have no idea how to help him especially after all these years."
"Perhaps, we need to discuss it with him," Minerva suggested.
"No…I don't think that's a very good idea. When he had been admitted to the Infirmary during the beginning of his fourth year, I examined him and found evidence, of what I believed, was severe physical and sexual abuse and when I told him what I suspected, he lost it. I had never been so frightened in my life and he was not even fourteen at the time. Can you imagine him now?" Poppy said.
Hermione was standing outside the door with her hand over her mouth and her heart beating wildly. Now she had an idea of what Professor Snape had gone through and it was even more horrible than she could possibly have imagined. Several things were running through her head and she wondered if his self-mutilation was because he really was sexually abused.
"I don't want to imagine how he would react," Minerva said tiredly. "Do you know for sure if he endured sexual abuse?"
"No, not for sure. The evidence I found certainly points in that direction, but he would never tell me anything so I couldn't confirm my suspicions, but let me tell you…the injuries that I had to heal were atrocious. I don't know what he went through but whatever it was has surely turned that little boy into the man he is today," Poppy said.
"This is just so difficult. I cannot let him get away with the way he treats his students, but I feel so…bad for him that I do not want to confront him," Minerva sighed.
"He has not been as terrible as he usually is. Perhaps having Miss Granger as his apprentice has helped in a way. He certainly needed the company."
"Yes, I know. That was one of the main reasons for me demanding the apprenticeship with him. I suppose we'll just have to see what happens. Hopefully, everything will work out for the best. When I stop receiving complaints from parents, I'll know there has been improvement," Minerva said. "Let's be off, shall we?"
Hermione took off as quietly as she could around the corner and then turned around and acted as though she had just arrived. She nearly bumped into the Headmistress as she turned toward the direction they were coming.
"Oh, Miss Granger…wow…you look beautiful, my dear," Minerva said, looking her over. Hermione's cheeks colored instantly at the compliment.
"Thank you…I figured it would be a good chance to wear something other than the school uniforms," she said.
"Of course, of course. Actually, being an apprentice, you shouldn't have to wear school attire anymore," Minerva said.
"Really? Professor Snape never mentioned that," Hermione said with a frown.
"Yes well…we know how he is. Anyway, you should be permitted to wear whatever you want as long as you have on your cloak and your attire is appropriate. Most apprentices wear robes, slacks, or skirts with a nice shirt. I don't know if I'd wear those shoes all day though..."
"No, I think wearing these for a long period of time will probably render me useless," Hermione said with a smile.
"We'll have to make sure that Severus knows you are not required to wear the school uniform anymore," Poppy said, her eyes sparkling. "Besides, you're an adult now so there is no reason for it."
"Thank you," Hermione said.
"Why don't you walk with us?" Minerva suggested. "We are headed to the Great Hall for dinner."
"It's time for dinner already?" Hermione gasped, looking at her watch.
"It's about a quarter till," Poppy said as they walked down the corridors.
"So, Miss-I'm sorry, I mean Hermione, how has your apprenticeship been going?" Minerva asked kindly.
"It's fine. So far things have been really easy for me. I'm waiting for Professor Snape to give me something more challenging," she said.
"How has he been treating you?" Poppy asked softly.
"Not much different from any other student. I mean, most times he doesn't say much at all to me unless I rile him up," she admitted.
"Rile him up?" Minerva asked, wondering what would make the girl do something so foolish.
"Yeah…well…I kind of…invaded his personal life a bit. We got into a couple of arguments about how I have gotten to personal with him," she said dismissively and explained a little bit of it.
"I'm honestly surprised you're not in the Infirmary," Poppy said with a laugh.
"So am I," Hermione said.
"Does he…open up to you at all, Hermione?" Minerva asked.
"No actually. He's pretty keen on keeping to his privacy, but I'm trying to get to know him better…he's just so difficult," Hermione said in slight frustration.
"Oh, we know," Poppy said earning a look from the Headmistress. Minerva stopped Hermione and looked at her fully.
"Hermione, forgive me if this is a bit personal but…do you have feelings for Severus?" she asked gently catching Poppy's attention. Hermione was about to deny everything and then after a moment she let out a sigh when she saw Minerva's suspicious gaze.
"Am I that obvious?" she asked.
"Probably not to him, but I have noticed a change in you," she conceded.
"I just hope he doesn't find out otherwise he might really want to hex me," Hermione replied.
"You like Severus? Seriously?" Poppy asked and the girl gave a small nod.
"I've had a crush on him since second year. It's just that he is so much more…" she trailed off trying to think of what to say.
"He is so much more like you?" Minerva asked.
"Yes. He's brilliant and he likes books, and potions, and education…I don't know…there is no one else, especially in my age group that matches up to me," Hermione said in frustration as they started walking again.
"I'll agree with you on that one. Hermione, please make sure that you tread carefully. Since you are an adult and his apprentice, there are no rules against the two of you having a relationship but I must voice my concern for you. Severus is a very dangerous and temperamental man," she said seriously.
"I know…" Hermione said and continued walking with them toward the Great Hall.
When they entered the Great Hall, some of the staff was already there with the five students who had stayed for the holidays. They were sitting at the teachers table, gathered on one side, several seats from a very sour looking, Professor Snape.
Severus looked up to see the two women and his young apprentice approaching the table and he felt his eyes widen slightly. The young Gryffindor looked positively radiant and most certainly didn't look like a little girl. He felt a stirring in his chest as he watched her walk toward the table. Then he narrowed his eyes and glared at her.
She deliberately wants to tease me about what I cannot have! How dare she look so tempting! I'll make her pay for that!
Hermione and Minerva shared a glance before approaching the table. Minerva and Poppy quickly sat down, leaving the only open seat next to the dour Potions Master. Hermione sent them a glare, knowing exactly what they were doing. The glare that Professor Snape had given her did not go unnoticed either. Hermione swallowed and sat down next to her Professor and spared a glance in his direction to see him looking right at her. Her heart skipped a beat and she turned to face him fully.
"What's the matter, Professor?" she asked softly. He glared at her coldly before letting a cold smirk cross his lips.
"Nothing at all, Miss Granger," he said cruelly. Hermione swallowed and wondered exactly what he was planning on doing. The steely glint in his eye made her extremely uncomfortable.
Hermione didn't say anything to him after that and instead engaged in a conversation with the Headmistress and the Mediwitch. She ate her food carefully as to not spill anything onto her new sweater and embarrass herself in front of Professor Snape who she could feel was watching her through his ebony curtain of hair.
What the bloody hell did I do now?
"Severus?" The man looked over at Minerva impatiently.
"Yes, Headmistress?"
"Aren't you going to your childhood home tonight on Spinners End?" she asked. He clenched his teeth and nodded.
"Yes…I must see to it that I reacquire any possessions of mine before the house is repossessed by the bank since my mother did not see fit to pay the debts owed by my father," he said with his lip curled in disgust at the thought of his parents.
"Indeed. Well, I think Hermione should go with you," she said and instantly his fork clattered to his plate. Everyone looked at him.
"No! No one is going to that house with me!" he snapped, glaring at Hermione who didn't even know what to think of the situation.
"Severus, I insist. It's only a house and besides…Hermione can be useful. Now finish your food," Minerva said, ending the conversation.
Hermione saw Professor Snape's nostrils flare angrily as he slammed his hands on the table and glared at the women, but there would be no arguing with the Headmistress. The students who were staring at him quickly averted their eyes when they saw his deadly glare.
"Headmistress…perhaps…it would be best if I didn't go. I wouldn't want to intrude on Professor Snape," Hermione said feeling suddenly afraid of the dangerous look on his face.
"Nonsense. It will be good for you both," Minerva said dismissively.
No more was said on the conversation and the rest of dinner for Hermione was eaten in silence. She was afraid to speak to him as he sat in his seat, obviously seething. The man didn't even touch his food but instead stared straight ahead of him with a deadly scowl carved in his expression.
When dinner was finished, Hermione followed the Potions Master out of the Great Hall and down the corridor. He walked briskly down to the dungeons with his apprentice trailing behind him. Once they were inside his lab, he whirled around and pushed her up against the wall.
"Professor!" she gasped in surprise, not expecting it. His eyes once again held a manic anger that made her blood run cold.
"Listen here, Granger! I am only taking you because the Headmistress insists you go but if you say anything about the house to anyone, I swear to Merlin I will hurt you!" he snarled.
"Professor, why would I say anything?" she asked softly.
"I don't trust you, Granger! Do not go snooping around that house, do you understand?" he hissed. Hermione swallowed and nodded.
"Yes, sir…" she whispered and he wretched himself away from her.
Nothing was said as they each grabbed their winter cloaks and Hermione quickly changed her high heels to her boots and then they both headed out of the castle. His strides were long and purposeful and Hermione found that she had to jog to keep up, but once at the gates, he turned and gave her a steely glare.
"Come here. We have to do a side-long apparition," he growled.
Hermione bit her lip and tentatively approached him. He reached out his hand and after a moment of looking at it, she slipped her delicate hand into his and felt his cool fingers grip hers. He then pulled her to him and she instinctively wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up into his eyes to see him regarding her coldly. Hermione felt his lean body flush against hers and felt the warmth spread through her as she clutched him, knowing that this might be the only time she ever got to touch him. She felt her stomach clench when his arms wrapped around her and they apparated.
Once they were at their destination, Hermione looked up at him again to see him gazing at her with an unreadable expression. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared into his onyx eyes, wondering what he was thinking. It was a few more seconds before he finally spoke.
"You can let go of me now," he said silkily. Hermione flushed scarlet and quickly withdrew from him, scanning her surroundings to avoid looking at him.
The area was cold, dark, and dreary. Hermione frowned as she looked at the rundown mill in the distance and then turned her gaze to the shabby old house before her. She wasn't sure if that house had ever looked nice at all and it was certainly no place for a child to be raised. She looked at Professor Snape to see him still watching her, now with a cold expression.
"Charming isn't it?" he asked icily.
"Um…well…was it in better shape when you were younger?" she asked.
"No. We lived in near poverty. Does that amuse you, Miss Granger?" he asked sourly.
"No, of course not! Why would it?"
"Why? Because spoiled little girls like you, who have always gotten what they wanted, tease and hurt poor little boys. People like me are not good enough for wenches like you," he said viciously.
"How can you say something like that?" she gasped.
"It's the truth. It always has been," he said coldly and stalked toward the house leaving Hermione to stare after him. She watched him for a moment before following.
"I'll just have to prove you wrong," she whispered.