Decisions

Hey, everyone, and thanks to veronica, Aliceforever2, JFE, Litara, Silvermoon of Forestclan, and theweirdwonder for my latest reviews! (Sorry for forgetting to acknowledge veronica and Aliceforever2 in my last chapter.) I've been working harder on this story now that beautiful, school-free summer has arrived, and I will try to finish it soon. And to JFE's complaint about the previous chapter, I probably didn't make it clear what happened when she was talking to her aunt, but she almost gave her real name, but she did catch herself. Sorry about that, but thanks for pointing that out. Enjoy Chapter 10!

*

"Oh my goodness, are you all right?" Serena could only stare straight ahead at Mary Rimand's skirt for several minutes, and her aunt let her be until she looked up again.

"She's dead?"
"Yes, dear, did you know her? Here," she offered a hand and pulled Serena to her feet.
"Yes. I did. Very well." Serena breathed in deeply and tried to stay calm. I can't break apart until I leave. Stay together. Try to be natural. "What happened to his daughter? Did she die too?"
"No." She paused. "Well, no one knows, really. She was kidnapped by bandits that same day. She was only six. We never saw her again." Mary Rimand shrugged. "I believe she's alive. I haven't seen her since she was just a little baby. My husband travels often, you see, but she was always a good baby, not one of those young ones that shriek all the time. Her name was- is- Serena."
"Oh." Serena had no idea how to continue this particular conversation without giving anything away. "Could you excuse me? I need to go pass on my friend's respects. What are their names?" She gestured towards the twins.
"Thom and Alanna. Poor things. Thom always wanted to be a sorcerer, and Alanna a lady knight. Alan wouldn't let them though. He sent Thom to Corus to be a knight and Alanna off to the convent. She certainly has grown, hasn't she?" This comment didn't seem to be directed towards Serena, to her relief. "I do wish she could be a knight though. I don't like this business of women not being allowed. Very silly, don't you think? If they can't pass the training they should be able to find out by doing it. Well, I would support her even if no one else in the family would. My husband agrees with me."
"It's a pity she can't." Serena allowed herself a small smile behind the veil. She couldn't wait until Alanna revealed herself. "It was nice to meet you."
"You too, dear. Are you sure you'll be all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine now. I'm sorry, it was just such a shock." Serena carefully walked towards the table where Thom and Alanna sat. Until now, she had forgotten to consider what she should say to them. And what to do if she couldn't get the words out. Well, I'm halfway there, so think quickly. No one else was speaking to them when Serena finally reached them, but she could not be sure if that was what she wanted or not.
They were talking quietly, but they looked up as she approached. Thom frowned. "You're the one that ran." Alanna elbowed her brother in the side-pretty hard if his expression was any sign.
"I'm sorry about him," she told Serena with a slightly mournful smile. "He doesn't really have any tact."
"It's fine. Funerals and death make me very emotional, is all. Even if I don't know the person." Thom's violet eyes seemed to be trying to penetrate the thick cloth of her veil in quite a disconcerting way.
"Did you know him?" he asked curtly. Serena understood his feelings- she wouldn't want anyone who didn't know her father at his funeral either- but Alanna glared at him angrily.
"Thom! Stop it! You're being rude!"
"No, I didn't," Serena interrupted, before this could become a real sibling squabble. Her statement captured their attention, and Thom appeared to be on the verge of asking another question. "My name is Lily Miller. A friend of mine, Rhiamon Turguen, asked me to come and pay her respects to Lord Alan. Her mother used to work as a maid for him." Alanna answered before Thom could do more than open his mouth.
"Thank you, Mistress Miller." On a spur of the moment decision, Serena cut her younger sister off by adding, "And my condolences for the death of your mother." At this, Thom's eyes narrowed suspiciously and Alanna's widened. "I knew her well before she died, but I didn't find out about it until today."
"Thank you." Thom looked as if he was about to ask another of his questions, probably asking how she knew their mother, and Serena had no answer prepared for that.
"I'm sorry. I really do have to go now. Thank you." She spun around and hurried away before Thom could say a word, but she could feel their eyes on her back as she left the room. I think the veil was a good idea. There could have been an interesting conversation if I hadn't. Thom struck her as the kind of person who wanted to know it all, a very ambitious boy. And he didn't mind if people didn't like him for it. I like him. A pity I can't sit down and talk to him as a sister though. She smiled. Maybe in a few years. I wonder what he's up to right now? He can't have gone to the convent. Though Mistress Rimand did say he wanted to do magic. I'll have to find out about that someday.
After a light dinner at the inn, Serena sat back to decide what to do. Mother and Father are dead. Thom and Alanna have no idea who I am. Coram will kill me if he finds out where I've been. I don't know what happened to Maude, but she would probably help him. I'm really not even an adult yet, at least by Maude's idea of it. She said that once I turned 21 she would let me do what I wanted if I wasn't married yet, but that's not for a few months. And I'm certainly not planning on getting married. She sighed heavily and rubbed her eyes. How did I never find out? I never heard a thing, not one hint, about Mother's death. How did that happen? Did Shamira know? She wanted to ask the goddess, but she was only supposed to ask for her in a time of need. Besides, it hardly mattered whether she had known or not. It had no bearing on the decision Serena had to make now. Should I tell, or not? Will they believe me now? It's been 15 years. Would I believe someone after that long? Why is this happening? Why did those accursed bandits have to come in the first place? Serena gave herself a light slap in the face. "Stop whining and make a decision. Now." It took her a moment to realize that she had spoken aloud. Thank goodness I'm the only one here right now. Anyone else would think I was insane. ANYWAY, I need to choose now. I'm leaving tomorrow. Should I tell, or not? She paused in her thoughts and frowned. What kind of future is there if I tell? I'll be forced to come back here and I'll bet everything I own that I won't be allowed to take care of the horses. That's for commoners. And boys. Mother and Father aren't here any more, and Thom and Alanna soon won't be. So is there any real point in staying? As she prepared for bed, Serena turned these thoughts in her mind, but part of her already knew her decision.

*

The ride back to Corus was much easier than the first trip. She had gotten rid of a burden that she had carried for years, and she felt as light as a feather, no matter how cliche that sounded, as she rode Midnight along the well-traveled southward road. Maybe someday she would tell Alanna, hunt her down and tell the story, but today, and any upcoming days, would not be that day.

*

The war with Tusaine began not long after that trip to Trebond. Serena heard from her "network" of friends throughout the palace about the hostile behavior of the Tusaine delegation to Corus, mainly that of its younger members, and then of Alanna's duel with Dain. Shortly after, horses began leaving the stables-with their knights, no doubt, but Serena paid no attention to knights- and, one fine, late April morning, the stable master took her aside.
"Aright, Serena, I got some news fer ye."
"What kind of news?"
"Mm, I can't say. Could be good news, could be bad, dependin' on what ye want t' do about it." He paused to look at her thoughtfully. She had grown in the past ten years or so. Not just the height that one would expect, but also in confidence and maturity. She didn't look over her shoulder all the time anymore, as if she was afraid someone might be after her. And she had left her hair red; the stable master didn't know the story behind it, but Serena simply did not care anymore. If Alanna or Coram recognized her, what could they do about her?
"Stop being so strange and just tell the news already!"
"Sorry. Well, lots o' horses're headin' fer Tusaine, what wi' th' war an' all that."
"Yes...?"
"Let me finish, ye wretch! As I was sayin', lots o' horses goin' t' Tusaine. All o' these horses need people t' take care o' them, 'specially as their owners'll be off fightin' most o' th' time. Ye interested?"
"What?" The stable master rolled his eyes and let out a mock-aggravated sigh.
"First she's rushin' me along, tellin' me t' get on with it, an' then she's just standin' there, as dumb as an old rock. D'ye want t' go? T' Tusaine? T' take care o' horses fer th' knights there?"
"Oh! I don't know. I haven't stayed away from Corus in years..."
"Pays good. Better'n what ye get here."
"Can I think about it?"
"Yeh, sure, but come t' me with yer answer first thing t'morrow mornin'. They're leavin' in three days, an' they still want more people."
"Right. First thing tomorrow."
"Ye kin have th' rest o' th' day off t' figure out what it is ye'll be wantin' t' do."
"Thank you! First thing tomorrow! I won't forget!" She ran to her rooms to grab her coat and prayed that Joseph would still be around when she arrived at his house.

*

In the year and a half or so since Serena had stood in his room and interrupted his study, Joseph had advanced far in his education. His efforts had come to the attention of some people that knew some People, and they had told these People, and he had been given a private tutor, who managed to get him to the level of the students of the University of Corus , and then the People who had provided him with the tutor then decided to give him a scholarship to the university. He currently attended school during the day, and in the evenings taught any of the children in his neighborhood that wished to learn. He lived in a crowded part of a poorer section of Corus , but he had found a decent house that wasn't in too bad of a condition, and he didn't have to pay a ridiculous amount of rent. Sometimes Serena wondered how he could juggle all of this; along with the schooling and the teaching, he held a job at night guarding a merchant's warehouse in a rather disreputable, unsafe part of the city. In fact, this job was the only source of his income. He didn't require any payment for his teaching, although most of his students brought him little gifts, usually food. He tended to sleep for only a few hours each night, and occasionally, when offered overtime, not even that. He also left his house early some evenings to get to the warehouse, and Serena wanted to catch him before he went.
His front door was open, and she could hear children talking inside. Joseph had found a large board upon which he had painted the alphabet in large letters, and he used that to teach most of the time. Right now, he was pointing to different letters and having his class tell him what they were. They must be pretty new. None of them have gotten a single one right so far. He pointed to the A. "L!" "No, it's M!" "J! J! J! J!" Joseph saw her at the door and excused himself, ordering them to continue to practice.
"Evenin'. What're ye doin' here t'night?"
"Ah, the stable master offered me a job with the knights going to Tusaine. Taking care of horses and stuff like that. I have to tell him by tomorrow."
"And? Why're ye tellin' me?" Serena rolled her eyes at him and he stepped back, looking mock-apologetic. "Terribly sorry. D'ye want t' know what I think?"
"Yes."
"Hm." Joseph leaned against the doorframe and frowned down at her. "Why d'ye have t' think about it? Why don't ye just go? It'll be a change, sort of an adventure, I s'pose, if ye want t' say that. An' it's not like ye'll die or nothin' out there. Ye won't be fightin', just carin' fer horses. I say go fer it, an' if ye don't like it ye can run away an' I'll hide ye in my closet until they stop lookin' fer ye."
"Oh, thank you ever so much. Your encouragement means a lot." He grinned.
"Ye asked fer it. Go on. Isn't like there's much goin' on 'round here, and if ye go there I think th' pay's s'posed t' be better. When will ye be back, d'ye know?" She shrugged.
"The stable master didn't say anything, and I haven't heard when it's supposed to be over. At least for the summer, I think. Maybe longer. I'll write letters."
"No, ye won't. Have fun there, an' don't get killed by some crazy Tusaine comin' after ye in th' night." He winked and patted her shoulder, then went back to his classroom to explain that the letter O was round, not pointy. Serena watched him for a minute or two and then left to go back to the castle to get ready.

*

She lay awake for hours the night before they left, even after telling the stable master that she would be at the stables before dawn, wondering whether she had made the right decision. Mostly because of Alanna. She didn't really think she could do anything if Alanna was in danger, but she didn't want to be miles away in a foreign country either. And what if Alanna was going too? Serena didn't know which knight she was squire to, but it was likely that she was going, if she was a squire. As the sky began to lighten, she passed out in the middle of trying to convince herself that she couldn't do a thing about Alanna, no matter where she was. Unfortunately, a hand roughly shaking her shoulder awoke her seemingly just minutes after she went to sleep. The other woman she shared a bunk bed with, Corla, was also going, and, as always, she was far too awake for this time of morning. What's wrong with her? It's not even morning yet.
"Come on, Serena! We have t' go, or they'll leave us 'ere wi' Terry and Marcia!" Terry, on the top bunk of the other bed, rolled over in her sleep, but Marcia was awake, and she stuck out her tongue at Corla.
"Better'n goin' wi' you!" Serena groaned and pulled herself up with an effort, much to Corla's amusement.
"Hurry up! I want t' see Evan afore we go." According to Corla, she and Evan, another stable hand, were going to marry someday, but at the moment all she did was take peeks at him around corners and "accidentally" cross paths.
"I'm coming, I'm coming." Serena dressed with a bit more speed and had awoken slightly more than halfway when they got down to the stables. In what seemed like a short time, they were leaving, and she still hadn't gotten so much as a glimpse of her sister.

*

So now she's off to Tusaine! Thanks to all of you wonderful, beautiful people who continue to read my story, and I'm REALLY SORRY for taking forever to update every time. I feel like the last time I did was a couple months ago. So expect the next chapter as your Halloween treat, maybe. I promise I'll try harder to get the next chapter up!