Disclaimer: wild-filly does not own Death Note. Sad, isn't it? You can still check out the assorted drawings accompanying Mind Games though!
………
Mind Games
Chapter Ten: Mere Words
……….
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you,
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
Raito had a situation on his hands. Again.
Now, this was hardly an unusual state of affairs, since technically the last few months of his life could equate to being a 'situation' of sorts. After all, most people would refer to being hand cuffed to the best three detectives in the world, conveniently embodied in one paranoid panda-like youth, as something approaching a detrimental scenario. Not Raito, however. For a genius such as him, this just added to the interest value of his ploy for world domination, among other things.
Okay, mind out of the gutter now please.
Today's situation differed from the usual state of uncomfortable social interactions in that now it involved an unforeseen third party. Namely Watari. Yes, the older man had chosen to go through the security cameras, and had been somewhat troubled by the events that he had then witnessed. Raito still couldn't believe that L had actually had the nerve to leave those videos unedited. I mean, he himself would have cropped the footage within minutes of it being taken. Indeed, that had been his plan, before L had decided to convolute his train of thought by proposing his consideration of the matter.
Oh how tangled the web had become. Raito rolled the thought around his head for a moment, and then discarded it with disgust. Later. He had a case to work on. Sort of.
At the moment, L was plugged into his computer, carefully surveying the latest of Raito's findings. Considering those had amounted to nil and nothing, technically it shouldn't be taking him so long to read. In fact, if Raito hadn't known better, he would have thought that the detective was using the mask of reading Raito's files in order to contemplate something else. Something that was making him twist his pale features into a positive expression of annoyance. Was that embarrassment in there as well? Raito couldn't quite tell from this angle. After all, he himself was supposed to be researching too.
"Raito-kun, you've found something?"
Oops. He hastily picked up another piece of paper and squinted at it thoughtfully. "Thought I had for a moment there, but it seems not." Nice excuse…how often had he used it now? L shuffled in his seat and turned away, resuming his pensive scanning of the screen before him. He should be more careful. L was almost as much of an expert on body language as he was, even if he still couldn't pass for normal in the weirdest of crowds.
Speaking of which, he was now quite certain that the detective was on edge. Not that the rest of the crew could tell. They weren't spending every waking moment (and all of the sleeping ones for that matter) with the spindly intellectual, so they didn't have the extra experience in reading L's extremely subtle cues. Raito was impressed even with himself; not that that didn't happen a lot, of course. The slight creases at the corners of L's eyes, the smallest of clenches in his jaw flew to his attention. That miniscule bead of sweat seeping onto the ridge of his hairline. The detective rarely sweated. Raito considered the possibility of his rival having a fever. After all, to actually show that much human discomfort, the detective must have come down with something life threatening.
"Yagami-kun, could you possibly do something other than stare at my forehead?"
Bugger. New excuse, quickly! Raito blinked as if waking from a dream. "I was staring? Sorry… I was lost in my thoughts for a while there."
L stared at him expectantly. "And?"
His mind raced, "I was just thinking that a number of Kira's recent victims have resulted in the direct benefits of certain members of the Yotsuba group. If we look closely at these members, I think we'd stand a better chance of finding Kira, rather than trawling through the lists of every single employee they have going." There, in the clear.
L stared at him coolly. "I know, Yagami-kun. I figured that out some time ago. Have you anything else to add?"
Then why didn't you say anything? The angry retort welled in Raito's mind, but he carefully suppressed it. Starting an argument wouldn't help his case any. Besides, L hardly ever gave away his main plans. That was a central part to his identity, along with not wearing socks.
"Fair enough," chuckled Raito forcibly. "I just thought I'd bring it up either way. Sometimes talking about things in the open makes them clearer." He shot the sideways comment towards L, knowing that the detective wouldn't miss its other meaning. It would fly easily over the heads of the others, but certainly not the detective.
Sadly, L stared at him owlishly, but gave no sign that he interpreted the comment other than on face value. "I wasn't decrying your analytical ability, Raito-kun. I was merely highlighting the fact that I had already considered that possibility and have in fact already been running a scan for the last two hours or so." He gestured vaguely towards his computer, dragging up a couple of windows that Raito hadn't even noticed. Damn. There went his pride again. Maybe he should acquire a spade in order to dig it up; this was happening too frequently for his tastes.
The rest of the team shuffled in their seats. Raito's father looked up, frown lines creasing into even deeper trenches as he met Ryuuzaki's eyes. "Do you think that we have a potential culprit yet?" Other than my son, finished Raito lazily. He felt sorry for his father. Sometimes.
"Who can say?" replied L mildly. He toyed absent-mindedly with his patisserie fork, prodding at the glistening custard Danish in front of him, picking at a straw blueberry. "We're getting closer all the time. Kira may be among the members of Yotsuba. It's more likely than not." He shot a very pointed look at Raito, who nearly jumped despite himself.
"Good," he recovered, glaring faintly. "The sooner we catch Kira, the better," he asserted firmly. He still suspects me, even now? But of course; he admonished himself even as the thought flitted through his head. This is L after all. Any feelings that he might have, whatever feelings he might have for Raito came second to the case.
And Raito had never been more painfully aware of that fact than now.
As L returned his attention once again to his trawling of Raito's paperwork and the most important members of the Yotsuba corporations, the other youth ducked his head down. Staring without seeing at the paper, he noted that his vision swam in and out of focus, turning the neat lines of text into a watery blur. Maybe he needed glasses. Or a holiday. Or maybe a more interesting paper. He watched L from out the corner of his eyes, simultaneously flicking through the file and scratching the odd note in the margins.
Yes. The detective was definitely not feeling himself. Raito knew for certain that he was the only one who could tell. Matsuda's banter in the background mixed with the grunted remarks of the other investigation members had continued as usual, even despite L's quirky signals. Nothing within their words suggested that they had noticed that anything was wrong with Ryuuzaki. To be honest, nothing within L's own words or actions suggested that anything was wrong. Raito could just tell that something strange was going on; that was all.
The telephone at L's wrist started to buzz. With a small flinch, the detective started, and then stared at the trilling device for a moment before reaching out to carefully hold it near his ear, fingers splayed as if it might bite. Raito suppressed a snigger at the sight. It still amazed him that L would hold everything as if it were poisonous or somehow repulsive to him. However, as he caught the tone of the voice on the other end of the receiver, Raito instantly came out in sympathy for the detective. Maybe a little more than sympathetic though.
"Watari? What's going on?" L's question was slightly flinty. He listened in silence for a while, grunted something in the affirmative and then replace the receiver with a dull clack. Nobody said a word, but Raito could taste the tension in the air. Nosy as ever they were…
At last Aizawa sat up straight in his chair, pen poised over his stack of documents on the most recent murder. "What's going on, Ryuuzaki?"
"Nothing," replied L quietly. "It was just Watari checking to see that I approved of his next move." The calm response seemed to satisfy the other members of the squad, but instead it stabbed at Raito's attention. What next move? It was no secret that Watari disliked Raito; the anxiety in his voice over the phone at the mall had certainly not been concealed, but what did L mean by 'next move'? Was he going to arrange for a third person to be shackled to L, to make sure that Raito didn't do anything 'improper' to his employer, or something equally unsettling?
Oh gods, please no. Now was not a good time to consider just how more awkward his situation could be made. Raito massaged his temples in a minor effort to calm his own nerves. This world domination business had been an awful lot simpler when he was just killing people. At least there hadn't been the whole messy issue of morality involved, and his own feelings on matters.
"What is Watari doing?" he asked L conversationally, probing for more clues under a skilful guise of polite conversation. "Have you been able to narrow down the field of suspects any more?" He hitched a slightly reproachful look onto his calculating face. "I'm still a little wounded that you didn't expand on that idea with the rest of us." But I'm even more wounded that Watari was able to watch my last embarrassing action in slow motion replay. He ground his teeth slightly over the words, certain that anyone who might hear it would attribute it to a different brand of frustration. More or less certain, at least. He was relatively confident that only Watari had watched those videos.
L angled his head towards Raito, still staring blankly at his computer desktop. "That's not your concern for now, Raito-kun. Watari is conducting independent research on a matter unrelated to the Yotsuba case. We are capable of following several different threads of interest within one investigation team." He straightened his head and resumed ignoring Raito, eyes glazed with concentration.
How much more vague of an answer could he have given? Raito glared poisonously at the fluffy, unkempt back of L's head and scored a couple of lines out of his newest page of notes, pen digging into the paper vindictively. Watari was up to something. Something that involved Raito. Something that Raito was not overly convinced that was in his best interests. Was Watari running background checks on all of Raito's past significant others, to see if he posed a threat to the innocence of his employer? Oh gods, why did he just think of that? Bad thoughts, Raito, very bad thoughts. Let's get off that track while he still can. Kira case; now that was a wholesome topic to be thinking of; murders and megalomania.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Watari didn't like Raito. Raito distrusts Watari. There may be a scheme involving Watari and L that would make Raito either one; more like Kira than ever; two; the laughing stock of the investigation; or three; unlikely to ever receive an answer from L regarding his opinion of Raito as a person, and not as a Kira suspect. In other words, this was not a good thing. How could Raito thwart the old geezer's potential plot? Provided this plot even existed, and wasn't just a figment of his over-tired, emotionally fraught imagination.
Actually, he was seriously beginning to wonder whether he was developing a moderate case of paranoia.
"Raito-kun? You look rather pale. Are you unwell?" Raito flinched as Matsuda clapped a hand on his shoulder, youthfully naïve features close to his own and wide with concern. "Do you need some fresh air?" At those words, Raito saw his father sit up and gaze worriedly at his son. Damn. This could get complicated. Or could it?
"Maybe, Matsuda-san," muttered Raito, raising his hand to his brow as if to test his own temperature. "I'm feeling a little shaky, that's all."
"You've been working too hard, Raito," said Yagami swiftly, rising from his chair and moving to Raito's side before he could even protest. "When was the last time you took a break? You're pushing yourself too hard for someone your age."
Raito waved his father away, vaguely annoyed at the attention despite himself. He was legally an adult, wasn't he? Never mind. This could actually work to his favour. It was time for a sneaky little plan… "I'll be fine. Ryuuzaki needs to work, so let's not worry about me. Just need some aspirin or something." He glanced shyly up at his father, letting a wistful, fatigued expression slide onto his face. The most important prop: self-sacrifice and resigned determination. Instantly concern etched itself more deeply into the lines of his father's face. Perfect.
"Ryuuzaki, I must ask if you could give Raito some time off. Just a few hours to rest would be fine. He's no use to the investigation if he's exhausted." Yagami rounded on L, who still hadn't taken his eyes off the screen, even during Matsuda's query after Raito's health. Raito had to applaud the detective on his skill at affecting stoicism. Even he had been hard pressed to notice the distracted flicker of Ryuuzaki's eyes to Raito's reflection on his computer the moment Matsuda had spoken. His father stared pointedly at the detective, stance firm with his resolve. "I'm asking you with great sincerity," he enforced. "This is important."
"I know it's important, Yagami-san," intoned L quietly, mouse skating over the screen to bring up another table of employees. "Not just to you, but to the rest of the team, and especially to Yagami-kun." Another series of clicks, L's eyes flitted over the screen as he trawled through name after name, opening a multitude of files as he went. "This case is demanding a lot from everybody," he continued in the same passive, lifeless voice. "However, we cannot all simply stop because of physical, or indeed, mental desires."
"This isn't a case of 'physical or mental desires', Ryuuzaki. This is the health of my son we're talking about," answered Yagami, voice strong with the conviction that only a parent could have. "He does not yet have the same ability as you to work tirelessly with limited sleep and little social interaction or ventures outside. Please bear in mind that up until recently, Raito has been leading a normal, healthy lifestyle. You can't expect him to adjust to the regime of this investigation with no adverse effects."
Raito was silent, watching first his father, and then affixing his attention on L. The detective's eyes were even more heavily-lidded than usual, expression blank and unreadable. How much had Ryuuzaki actually said when he spoke? He considered feeling offended by his father's heavy-handed analysis of Raito's working abilities, but was too intrigued by L's response to really care.
"No, I cannot," conceded L, lips pursed as he typed a brief note on a separate document. "That would be unreasonable."
Raito saw the tensed muscles of his father's shoulder blades relax. "So will you let Raito off the chain for a while to rest? If necessary, I will stay with him. You can have as many cameras around as you wish just the same."
"No, Yagami-san, that will not be necessary." L's head was lowered as he rose from his chair, unfolding coiled legs and placing them softly on the cold tiles, feet merging silently with the floor. Heavy black bangs fell in front of his eyes, hiding his face from view. "If Raito-kun has become ill because of my lifestyle, then Raito-kun will become well again because of my lifestyle. His discomfort is entirely my fault." He leant briefly over the keyboard, typing on the keys in a rapidfire motion. Raito watched in astonishment as all of the opened windows closed off instantly and the lanky detective turned to face him.
Misreading the surprise in Raito's face, L shook his head slightly. "I've done all I can on this section of the case for now. I shall check back in a couple of hours for replies to my emails, requesting detailed background information on sixty-four Yotsuba officials."
"Couldn't you have called the company?" L glanced over at Matsuda, who had voiced the question. Patiently he replied, "Not exactly, Matsuda-san, since a direct call to the company for information would instantly spark alarm. This route is indirect, but a lot safer." The young man flushed with embarrassment while Ryuuzaki just stared at the ceiling passively. "It should take my contacts a few hours to get back to me with the necessary information. In that time, Raito-kun may do as he sees fit. I owe him that much."
Confound that guttural mind of his.
"A-are you sure that's okay, Ryuuzaki?" asked Raito, lacing his voice with just the right amount of reluctance and apprehension. "There are plenty of other things you could be doing. I just need some aspirin, I'm sure I'll be fine." His father however, was shaking his head. "That won't do, Raito. You've been looking more and more under the weather with each passing day. You need a rest. Even if it is only a brief break for a few hours." Obviously his father was less than pleased with the small, proffered concession, but was willing to accept it for now.
L rolled his eyes, slouching over to Raito. He stared down at the other youth and Raito immediately experienced the sensation that he was being x-rayed. There was something critical in that stare, as if L could tell that Raito's 'illness' was not as authentic as he was making it out to be. Well, it wasn't as if he was lying, Raito reasoned. All of the work had given him a headache, not to mention the limited amount of sleep and the mental trauma. Well, maybe that trauma was self-inflicted, considering he was Kira after all. But still, Ryuuzaki couldn't exactly accuse him of lying about being under the weather. Not when all the evidence pointed to the contrary.
"It will be okay for a little while," he replied at last, voice bored. "I daresay the investigation won't suffer disastrously from a break. Kira hasn't killed anyone today, so the workload won't fluctuate." There was an accusing note in those words, and Raito was tempted for a moment to smack the detective on the head. For crying out loud, he wasn't convicted yet, so stop blaming him for deaths he technically was, but legally wasn't responsible for yet! However, Raito kept the pleasant, strained expression pasted on his features. "That's good to hear, on all counts." Ryuuzaki just shrugged at him by way of a response. "Come on."
Staggering out of his own chair, Raito followed L to the door, rubbing at his forehead in a suitably distressed fashion as the eyes of the rest of the team watched them leave. At the doorframe, L stopped, turning back to survey them. "Just continue as you were. If there are any important messages, or any notes of interest, please come and find me." With that, he shuffled out of the room, completely ignoring Raito.
As Raito followed the spindly detective through the winding halls of his custom-designed headquarters, he noted with some interest that Ryuuzaki was making a profound effort to ignore him. It wasn't just that the detective wasn't talking to him, but that everything in L's body language spoke of isolation. The hunch of his shoulders, the guarded way his elbows jutted out, hands thrust deeply into his pockets. It was as if the detective had built up a protective sphere around himself; one that Raito could not penetrate, even if he were to stop the skinny youth and confront him on the issue. Plus there was the fact that they were heading in a completely new and untrialed direction for Raito. He didn't recognise any of the rooms he was passing, and barely recognised Ryuuzaki for that matter. He had never seen the detective so sullen.
In fact, it occurred to Raito that the one most in need of a break was probably Ryuuzaki. He had never seen the prodigy so tense and locked up before, not even when he had him pinned in the most compromising of positions. Ah… there were some memories perhaps better kept out of his mind for the moment.
A grunt from L caught Raito's attention. They had made it to one of the spare rooms, it would seem. There was no one in sight, or anything else of note for that matter. With a click, Ryuuzaki gently pushed the door open and slouched inside. Raito followed cautiously, eyes swiftly taking in the surroundings. A couple of sofas, an ornate coffee table, a large plasma TV mounted on the wall, flanked by a small bar fridge. There was a desk set up in the corner, complete with humming computer monitor. Someone had been in here already and set it up. Raito suspected Watari, and consequently also suspected that there would be a collection of security cameras stationed around the place. Did he dare to confront L in this place? Did he dare to confront L at all for that matter?
There was a dull clunk, followed by a thunk as L pulled the heavy door shut and depressed a button, sending a series of deadlocks slamming into their places with a pneumatic hiss. He then faced Raito, eyes unfathomable, and raised his handcuffed hand. "Do you want me to take this off?"
Raito faltered. "What? Why are you asking me?"
L just blinked at him, no emotion given away by his cryptic expression. "Do you want them off, or no?"
"No," replied Raito softly. "It would jeopardise the case if you did. If I'm to be surveyed constantly in order to prove my innocence, then I might as well do it properly, no?" He searched L's eyes for a response, but received none. The detective merely stared at him for a moment, and then turned away. "Watari will be here soon with aspirin if you still want it. Only he knows the combination to the door from the outside. Otherwise, you may do as you wish. Play on the computer, watch television. Whatever it is that adolescents do to relax. I could even send off for some sort of video game console."
Now it was Raito's turn to stare. "Ryuuzaki, I don't need that kind of thing. Honestly, I'm just tired and stressed. I only want to rest a little."
L inclined his head as if perplexed. "Then rest," he said simply. "I won't stop you."
Actually you will, because the idea of you sitting there and watching me sleep would certainly put me off sleeping. Raito kept that thought to himself, and shrugged nonchalantly as he adopted a façade of sleepiness. Pretending to doze would allow him to watch L from beneath his eyelids. Maybe he'd learn soemthing that way. He meandered over to one of the sofas and sunk gratefully into its thick, padded depths, Ryuuzaki following as the chain's length demanded. The detective sat down quietly on the chair opposite, curling his legs up underneath him and staring vacantly up at the ceiling. Raito couldn't help but stare at him. This is so peculiar I don't even know what to do. For one of only a handful of times in his life, Raito didn't know what to do or say. Honestly, he had never anticipated something like this happening. What was L thinking?
"You are probably wondering why I've brought you to this room, rather than to our normal quarters."
Spot on question one. Raito jerked his head upwards, fixing his attention fully on the detective. "Are you going to tell me why?"
L rolled his eyes downwards, watching Raito carefully, head rocked backwards. "There are no cameras in this room. Nor are there any microphones. As you can see, there are no windows, so no one can see into this room, nor hear what goes on inside it. The walls are soundproofed and the door is locked." His eyes were harsh, scrutinising for any response of any degree.
"The others know where we are though. And I could simply hit that button to unlock the door," pointed out Raito. What was with this interview? This was not like L at all, even for his paranoid standards.
"True," conceded L, "but considering the layout of this building, and the lack of privacy in all of the other rooms, this one is particularly significant. You could say or do almost anything you wanted here."
Raito blinked, lowering his head meditatively. But that's not why I'm here. "So, as far as I can tell, you brought me to this room in order to speak to me openly. Openly where no one else could eavesdrop, or view the footage afterwards." He opened his eyes again, only to narrow them. "You're going to tell me something that you don't want the others to hear. Something that may or may not be relevant to the case," he mused aloud. "I doubt, however, that this is part of the case. You wouldn't have brought me here if it were just something to do with the case. This must be something more important, or at least, more awkward for you."
L's midnight eyes were level on his own. "Very astute, Raito-kun. Would you like to state the obvious some more, or are you finished?"
Ouch. Raito returned the gaze mildly as his mind whirred overtime. L was willing to admit that this was not to do with the case. L was also uncharacteristically cold and tense. This was something to do with himself and Raito; it had to be. Was this the reason why L had been so distant in the investigation room? Had he been toying with his answer this whole time? Was his answer the reason behind his icy demeanour? Did that mean that his answer was in the negative?
Raito realised that breath no longer seemed to flow easily to and from his chest. Something was blocking his throat. The same toxin seemed to have penetrated his chest, as his labouring breathing also constricted his heart. It felt as if something was squeezing his ribcage within the clamps of a vice. Was this what emotion was for other people too? Was this what is meant to be fretful of rejection or acceptance? Raito had never been rejected, but now he honestly did not know what was going to happen. Was this what fear was to normal people? A thin sheen of sweat had broken out across his face, and he loathed himself for it. Foolishness! He couldn't let L know that he was concerned about what he thought about him! Couldn't let L know just how much his answer might mean to him. Especially couldn't let him know how deeply a rejection would cut him.
Blinking demurely, L gazed critically at Raito. Again he felt as if the detective's sombre black pupils were staring directly through him. It was uncomfortable. It was shameful. It was terrifying. "I take your silence means 'no' then." Raito could only nod tightly in response. A feeling of self-loathing had gripped him even as he found himself struck dumb by nerves. Pitiful. Your rival of all people; the only person who can destroy you utterly; and you have given him this power over you. Why in the name of all things holy had he allowed L to control his being in such an unfamiliar way?
He remarked, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he had never had a choice in the matter.
L was watching him even more carefully now. It was impossible that he had not noticed Raito's inner conflict, which even now had spread to his face. He could feel his muscles tensing, and a nervous twitch flickering over his lips. He wasn't masking his emotions properly any more! Panic briefly gripped him, and Raito forced himself to adopt an expression of calm, ignoring the cold sweat that still beaded his forehead. Madness…
"I wanted to speak to you directly, Raito-kun," spoke L again, in a voice so faint that Raito had to strain to hear it. "You asked me something important to you not very long ago. You asked me to think about it. And I have been. I have been thinking about it for more time than I ought to, considering the importance of our investigation."
Raito felt something clench and rupture inside his chest. That message was clear enough. L still valued the Kira case over anything else. His reputation as a detective wasn't what drove him, but rather a pursuit of justice so integral to his identity that he couldn't avoid it. And yet even with that fact in mind, L had still taken time out to consider Raito's dilemma. Perhaps even make it his dilemma as well.
L was staring at him with a peculiar look in his eyes. It was as if he had spotted something enthralling directly behind him. Raito blinked, wondering if he looked half as stressed as he felt. "What's wrong, Ryuuzaki?" he asked hoarsely, words almost dying as he spoke, breath unsteady.
And then they were in pitch darkness.
"Damn…" If Raito hadn't been hastily prodding his brain back into life at this sudden, most unanticipated falling into complete blackness, he might have been somewhat amused to hear the detective curse. He felt the links of the chain shake, and then heard their gentle clink as L clambered off the cushiony sofa and lumbered over towards the door. The relentless tug dragged him to his feet. "Wait a moment, Ryuuzaki," muttered Raito, fumbling in the darkness. With a small yelp he clutched at his left kneecap after attempting to move it to somewhere further down his shin, courtesy of the glass and iron-wrought coffee table.
"Are you okay?" L's question was quick off the mark, catching Raito by surprise even as he fought the tears that had sprung to his eyes from the more than moderate pain he was currently experiencing in his incapacitated state.
"Fine," he hissed through gritted teeth. "Just hit myself off that table." Curse those inanimate objects for conspiring against me.
L clucked; a most unusual noise to hear coming from the detective. Was it sympathetic, or the closest thing the detective was allowing himself to a snigger? Raito wasn't sure. "Can you walk?"
"Of course I can," insisted Raito, mortified. A mere table couldn't bring down Kira! Not that it hadn't made a rather brave attempt at it. Probing his knee gingerly, Raito was certain that he could feel a perfect indentation of the glass corner and iron-wrought leaf that supported it. Delightful. At least he had a memento to mark the occasion of his near-crippling experience.
L sighed, breath whistling slightly in the dark. "Be careful. The door isn't that far away."
"Will it still work if the lights aren't operating?"
"We'll see." Oh. So it was going to be one of those moments.
Carefully picking his way across the room, Raito worked on keeping the chain length taut in order to determine how far away L was, and how best to avoid knocking into him. Not that that idea upset him very much. He just didn't think that the detective would appreciate it, especially since he could be sent flying into a pot plant with one misappropriated slip. He felt the detective pause, chain links clinking metallically as he halted. They must have reached the side of the room. Even with his eyes adjusting to the dark, Raito couldn't even see his hand in front of his face. He'd never been in a darker room. Frankly it amazed him that L had even found the door, let alone not knocked into anything. He must have eyes like a cat, or maybe just a remarkably good memory. Effectively, either was possible.
He could hear the soft rise and fall of L's chest, rustling his baggy shirt; heard the crumple of fabric as the detective extended one arm in the dark, feeling the smooth surface of the wall for the door mechanism. A few moments of silence, and then a click.
Followed by nothing.
"Power cut," hissed Ryuuzaki. Frustration rode prominently in his voice.
"Don't worry about it," reassured Raito, wondering whether he was speaking the truth. "The others will get the power back on soon, and even if they don't, they'll know to come looking here."
"No, they won't," snipped L. Raito started. "What do you mean by that?"
"The investigation rooms are the most important ones, so they run on their own back-up generators, remember? Those generators don't last for more than six hours, but the transition from mains electricity to our own brand is near seamless. In other words, we could be stuck in here for six hours."
"Haven't you got your mobile with you?"
"It didn't occur to me to bring it."
Raito blinked. "Are you feeling alright?"
"Never better, why do you ask?" snapped L.
"Because you aren't yourself," reasoned Raito, shuffling back a couple of steps in the dark, in case the detective's eyesight was better than his and he was about to get smacked on the side of the head. "If you were behaving normally you would never have taken such a risk as to not bring your phone, or to not have someone check up on us frequently." Not to mention you wouldn't be demonstrating so plebeian an emotion as annoyance.
"Watari's coming," said L sullenly. But even at that, Raito could hear the note of reluctance that the detective was masking.
"In how long?" asked Raito warily. "You told me that he'd be along soon with painkillers."
"It depends on how long you define 'soon'." Raito rolled his eyes. "You were determined to have a private conversation with me, so you told him not to come until you gave him a signal. Let me guess, that would be through the computer?"
"Very astute of you, Raito-kun."
"Wonderful," sighed Raito, fumbling for the back of the nearest sofa and leaning against it. This was going to get old very quickly. "So we're stuck here for an indeterminate length of time?"
"In that many words, yes. Unless I can fuse the lock on the door."
"Can you?"
He could almost feel the heaviness of L's stare in the dark. "Of course I can. Provided I have the right tools. Did you happen to bring any insulated equipment? A screwdriver?"
"No, they were confiscated along with my pneumatic drill and brick-laying equipment," replied Raito sarcastically. "I'm not even allowed to walk into the main investigation rooms wearing a metal belt buckle, Ryuuzaki. Do you really think your security guards would let me carry a screwdriver around?"
"Obviously not, otherwise I would have to fire them," responded L stoically. "And I'm certain that that would upset their plans for having salaries."
Raito threw up his hands in disgust, ignoring the fact that he also yanked L's shackled arm at the same time. "Brilliant. What can we cobble together to open up the electric panel?"
"We could shatter the remote control for the television, or attempt to remove part of the frame of the coffee table. That is, of course, provided we can do these things in the dark without incurring injury and without additional equipment. And since the coffee table has already bested you in one fight, Raito-kun, I don't believe that this option is truly open to us."
"In other words, we just have to sit here." H ignored the jibe at his coordination.
"Pretty much, yes."
Raito let his weight slide to the floor, back flat against the sofa to support him. He shut his eyes as he did so, in a futile attempt to coax a little relaxation into his frazzled nerves. Ah well. At least the darkness was soothing for his eyes; tired and sore from staring at a computer monitor for the majority of his waking hours in the last few months. And it was quiet, save for Ryuuzaki's exasperated taps at the locking mechanism and pacing at the doorframe. Wasn't this just what he had needed?
He was locked in a dark enclosed space with the unpredictable, antisocial object of his sort-of affections, with no knowing how much longer he had before the two of them were 'rescued'.
What was he supposed to do?
"Raito-kun, we need to break out of here."
He opened his eyes blearily. "We'll be let out eventually, Ryuuzaki. There's no point in breaking up the furniture."
"There's an air vent wide enough for us to crawl through. I ensured that these rooms could be escaped from in case of emergencies. The ducts in the ceiling are not without their traps though, and it will take us a while to find a safe exit, but we can use it. It was an interesting task to design an escape route that couldn't be used by the wrong people as an entrance."
"No thank you," replied Raito.
"Whyever not?"
"I don't particularly want to navigate my way through the ceiling, without knowing what I'm doing or where I'm going in the pitch black. And I don't think that the handcuffs would make the process any easier for that matter."
Once again, he could feel L staring at him patronisingly. "The only difference I can see in that argument from describing our current situation is the word 'ceiling'."
Raito rolled his eyes, and winced, wishing that he hadn't. Maybe that fabricated headache wasn't as fake as he had thought it was. "Let's just stay here, Ryuuzaki. We'll be found eventually, and besides, this is quite a restful way to be."
A disgruntled cough from L suggested that the detective didn't hold Raito's opinion for much credit. "Do you want to stay in here?" It sounded almost like an accusation.
"There are worse places we could be," reasoned Raito. Like jammed in an air vent, skirting possible 'traps' of L's own design. He didn't even want to consider what those traps might be. Knowing L, they would be brutally efficient, and perhaps even slightly cruel and unusual, just for interest value. He couldn't really anticipate the detective in that field.
L snorted. Raito felt the other youth shuffle around, and fancied that he could vaguely pick out his hunched outline in the darkness. Could almost see the unbrushed chunks of his hair swish as he paused, level with Raito, to stare up at the ceiling. An uncomfortable feeling passed over the homicidal genius. Ryuuzaki was standing so close to him that he could feel the other man's body heat radiating through his clothing, could hear him clench his throat and swallow pensively. His ears even caught the sound of L drawing breath before he next spoke.
"Give me a boost up, Raito-kun."
The youth nearly choked. "What?"
"You heard me," said L firmly. "We're getting out of here. You boost me up there, then you can use the couch as a ladder and I'll support you with the chain. We're getting out of here. I've never had to be rescued from a locked room before, and I don't intend to add one such event to my life story now."
"Ah…" Raito's voice died. The detective had turned to him expectantly. He could feel L's eyes on him, stance decisive. Two thoughts sprang to mind; one, that he should boost the detective up there and follow orders; or two, he should boost the detective up there and then just refuse to enter. Did that even make sense? Raito ran a swift mental check of his brain's flawed solutions…In other words, he just wanted to- Gods! He shook his head furiously, clearing it. Luckily enough, L didn't notice the gesture. Nor, oddly enough, did he seem to realise just how awkward he had made Raito feel in the first place.
"Come on, Raito-kun," ordered L. "Help me up." There was no comprehension, no sympathy in L's voice.
"Ah… okay…" What else could he say? Raito could feel himself shaking as he reached out, hands trembling as he fumbled and then placed them on the detective's sides. L was even skinnier than he'd first thought. Every rib was rigid under his fingers, and for a moment, he was afraid that if he should clench his hands too tightly, he would snap Ryuuzaki in two. Those cakes really must have just been for show.
"Okay, the vent is directly above you. Just lift me up and I'll open it. It's not like I'm asking you anything difficult, Raito-kun." There was that patronising note again. It would have grated on Raito's nerves if they weren't already shot to pieces. Raito didn't trust himself to speak, so he just grunted in response. Farewell, oh sanity. Knees bracing, Raito shut his eyes reflexively as he tightened his grasp about L's spindly frame and lifted the lithe detective into the air. He nearly fell over as he did so. What did this guy live on? There was almost nothing to Ryuuzaki. The complete lack of body mass to the detective worked to temporarily divert Raito's attention from the embarrassing position that they were both in, but a mind as sharp as Raito's could only be distracted for so long.
L struggled slightly in Raito's clutches, inadvertently forcing the traumatised Raito to tighten his hold on the detective, instinctively drawing him in closer and resulting in his burying his face into the other youth's abdomen. He turned his head to the side, cheeks burning as he did so. Madness! He could feel stringy muscles expanding beneath his cheekbones as Ryuuzaki craned his free arm upwards, fiddling and toying with the seal on the air vent. The detective's one shackled hand rested almost unpleasantly comfortably on Raito's shoulder, perfectly relaxed. It was as if Raito were a cherry picker, or some other inanimate object, rather than a self-confessed…something. For crying out loud, he didn't even know the right word for his situation! Where had his famed eloquence gone? This was awful. He'd never felt so awkward in his life. Well… maybe not.
"Raito-kun, I can't quite reach from this angle." L's voice was vaguely annoyed. "Would you hold me up a little higher?"
Raito nodded. "Yes, Ryuuzaki." Then he froze. Where would he have to hold the detective in order to raise him high enough? Where would his face be?
"Raito wha-" The question was never completed, as the other genius buckled at the knees and fell to the floor, sending the detective flying, or more correctly, sprawling back to earth. The thin carpet was a poor cushion between Raito's frame and the thick concrete floor, sending shockwaves through his form complete with complementary bruising. L however, was fortunate in that his landing was cushioned by the slightly softer floor covering that was Raito. Raito winced as something; most probably L's left elbow; buried itself between his shoulder blades and forced a gasp from his battered chest.
"R-Raito-kun?" He could hear nothing but surprise in Ryuuzaki's shaken voice. "What happened? I'm not that heavy, am I?"
"N-No," gasped Raito, still busy running a system's check to confirm that everything he owned was in fact still in one piece. It felt as if he'd shattered something on his way down to the ground. Possibly his pride. "Just l-lost my balance there. I'm not used to holding people up."
"Ah." L's response was as informative as his face, which was hidden in the shadows and also located somewhere behind Raito's head. There was something else bothering him; Raito could tell. The major giveaway here was that the contact-phobic detective was still sprawled on top of him. In a rather uncomfortable fashion, he had to admit. And for more reasons other than the collection of joints that were stabbing him in inopportune places. Okay, time to end that train of thought.
"You okay, Ryuuzaki?" Raito mumbled the question into the carpet. It was the thought that counted; not the direction.
"Mostly."
"Mostly?"
"My ankle doesn't appear to be functioning normally."
Raito swore internally. Confound his clumsiness! That one casual remark that Ryuuzaki had made; that one, somehow innocent request had made him act like an idiot and cause injury to the detective. That spindly, aggravating, suspicious, socially retarded and intellectually brilliant person seated on his spine that was the detective. Raito's self-loathing hit a newfound high for a whole new reason. How delightful. "I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki. Really, really sorry. Can you move it?" For some reason, it didn't occur to Raito to tell Ryuuzaki to get off. His brain seemed quiet content to bypass that little instruction for the moment.
"Yes, but not without exceptional pain." There was something almost like wonder in L's voice. Raito could feel the detective experimentally twitching his foot, which was consequently tapping him on the back of the calf. It was ticklish, and more than a little… odd. In a good way, but not in a good way for the moment. Not if L was actually hurt. Otherwise…Raito slapped himself mentally. Get a grip! For crying out loud, he'd had enough emotions in the past hour to last him the rest of the year, or possibly even his lifetime.
"Move over a little," he asked finally. "I'll take a look."
"How, precisely?" chipped L.
"It's a figure of speech, Ryuuzaki," muttered Raito, swivelling underneath the detective. Well, he couldn't exactly tell where he was at the moment. At least he was sitting up. There seemed to be bits of L everywhere he turned. Maybe he shouldn't turn any more. "Where's your ankle?"
"Here, ah- not there, Raito-kun." What the hell had he just grabbed? Raito moved his hand away hurriedly. "Stay still a moment. Put your chained hand on your ankle and I'll follow the chain." He heard the sharp chinks of the chain's small metal links as Ryuuzaki moved his arm. That was better. Raito stretched his arm out until the chain pulled taut, then began to trace his way down its length.
"Ah, Ryuuzaki? I think you're tangled in the chain."
There was a stony silence. "I'm not the only one, Raito-kun."
Oh bugger. "Right, where can you feel the chain?"
"Most everywhere, Raito-kun. I can't move my other arm at all. There are a couple of lines going across my back."
"Okay, your back," repeated Raito, head spinning. What in the name of all things holy had they gotten themselves into? "Let's try to untangle that first." Tentatively, he reached out in the darkness, and then hastily retreated as L yelped plaintively.
"That was my eye, Yagami-kun."
"Sorry, sorry," panted Raito, breathless in shock and embarrassment. "Look, how about you try to untangle yourself a little?" There were a couple of rustles, an exasperated grunt, and then Raito's chin came to know the chain on a rather more personal level than previously before.
"Sorry, Raito-kun," L hastily apologised. "I heard a clunk; what happened?"
"Nothing much," mumbled Raito around what felt like a mouthful of broken teeth. "Just the chain hitting me." L was a genius; he could figure out where. "Mind being a little more careful?"
"This is ridiculous," growled L softly. Raito felt the detective sit up as straight as his permanently hunched spine and chain bindings would allow him. "This is not what I had in mind for this meeting."
"What did you have in mind?" asked Raito quietly. It occurred to him that L's struggles had relocated the detective into a rather novel position; namely seated directly in front of him. He couldn't see a thing, but he could feel the breeze as Ryuuzaki exhaled. His breath smelt of some kind of sugary product. Not altogether unpleasant. Warmth radiated from the spidery figure, and so did the crisp scent of clean laundry. Raito had never taken the time to notice it before. Or at least, had never had the opportunity to do so. All of his other close encounters with the detective had all been either his own fault, or extremely nerve wracking.
"Not this," sighed L, shuffling where he sat. Raito flinched as warm, bare skin moved under his fingertips. L's arm? His shirt must have snagged somewhere. He couldn't see a damned thing in this room. "I was going to speak to you in a perfectly proper manner, and then have us return to the case, personal matters safely to one side. I did not anticipate becoming locked in a dark room, and then tangled in a chain while my ankle swells before my eyes, provided of course I could see out of them." Raito had rarely heard such bitterness come from the detective. Never on anything outside of the Kira case, that is.
"To be honest, I didn't really see this coming either," replied Raito calmly, steeling himself as his libido began to make snide comments to his conscience. "I think the main thing to do at the moment is get untangled, sort out your ankle, and just wait for the others to let us out or for the power to come back on."
"Obscene," snorted L softly. "Two people of our mental calibre, and we can't even make it out of a locked room without serious injury."
Raito grinned despite himself. "Well, if this is what's happened to us, and we're the brains of the Kira investigation, just think what would have happened if this were Matsuda or anyone else."
L coughed, maybe to conceal a snigger. "That was cruel, Raito-kun."
"Accurate though," chuckled Raito. I've officially lost my mind. He reached out again, cautiously, and thankfully found L's shoulder. Hand burrowed briefly into the loose fabric, he gripped the detective's narrow shoulder in a companionable way. "Don't worry about it. These things supposedly happen to the best of us."
"It would seem so," murmured L. Beneath Raito's fingertips, the detective seemed uncertain. He moved slightly, as if with discomfort, and yet didn't pull away. Mind you, maybe he couldn't. "Raito-kun, I…" He trailed off.
"Ryuuzaki?" Raito intoned the detective's name with a question, though there was never a question in his mind. It just seemed to be the right thing to say.
"This is… well… not what I had in mind," finished L lamely.
"You've said that already," reminded Raito. He placed his hand on L's shoulder again, this time with no intention of removing it. "What do you want to say? You can trust me."
Raito's ears caught the sound of L drawing a ragged breath, rasping air into his chest, and his heart sunk. "Can I truly, Raito-kun?" The question froze Raito to the core. He still doesn't know how to act around me.
But come to think of it, do I know how to act around him?
Acting automatically, without any real thought of the consequences or logic behind it, Raito brought up his other hand, clutching both of L's shoulders firmly. Now he knew where the detective was. More or less. L's breathing quickened. He knew that the detective's eyes would have widened. His jaw muscles would have clenched and unclenched, perplexed and then cautious. His facial expression would be one of surprise, and one of guarded apprehension. How depressing that he could read the features of fear and distrust without even seeing them. Something inside his chest was tearing, but he thrust the sensation aside.
"Yes," he replied, voice low and heady, full of emotion that he seldom allowed into the foreground. "You can trust me. I want you to trust me. Not for my sake. For your sake. More than anything." Did that even make sense? He didn't seem to care even if it hadn't. Muscles retracted and he pulled the detective bodily towards himself, forcing a hiss of withheld breath from the detective as he collided with Raito's bony, though more substantial chest. Gentleness mixed with desperation.
"Ra-Raito-kun," stammered L, "this is…" He trailed off as Raito rearranged his hands, arms tightening, holding the detective close to him. One hand combed itself through Ryuuzaki's thick black locks, surprisingly soft, burying through the unruly mass until it found the warm, soft skin beneath. Fingertips caressed the detective's head with an intimacy and affection with which Raito had never touched anything before, let alone felt. Why was he doing this? Thoughts of danger, thoughts of arrogant pride and concern for what might be said or done hammered at Raito's brain, but were denied entry. This was… what he wanted. Just for now, he was going to push those other thoughts aside and, well, be himself for a moment. L pushed against him briefly, both palms flat against the adolescent's chest, but either had no desire to properly fight the contact, or was too tangled up to put up a decent resistance.
Raito dipped his nose down, inhaling the dusty scent of L's hair. He wrinkled his nose. It must be something to do with sitting in front of a computer all day long. There was the lingering trail of sweets, and the musky scent that was L's own. There was something soothing about it. Something that made Raito want to just close his eyes and sleep. Or maybe that was the sleep deprivation talking. Either way, a feeling of indescribable calm was washing over him, silent detective motionless and warm in his arms. A numb question filtered into Raito's mind. Why wasn't L fighting this? He wasn't even arguing. He wasn't doing anything.
Gently, Raito stroked the detective's back, fingers lazily following the curve of the spidery youth's rib cage. "Could you ever trust me?" he muttered the question into Ryuuzaki's hair, tickling the edges of his mouth and making the breath catch in his throat, nerves on fire. His hyper-alert skin could feel the detective's heart rate quicken at those words, pinned against his chest. He had practically pulled the silent youth into his lap, as far as he could tell in this blackness.
"I would trust Raito-kun," L's words bit into the atmosphere, puncturing the haze of Raito's consciousness. "But I could never trust Kira."
There it was. The one word that could strip Raito of himself faster than anything else. Kira. Immediately he was aware of L's shaky breathing, of their closeness, their shared warmth. Shaky with fear, or with something else? He couldn't tell. He closed his eyes, "You still think that I am Kira."
"There is a chance."
"So why don't you push me away?" asked Raito, a note of bitterness rising unchecked to his question. Most strident though was his curiosity. What was L thinking?
"I don't know," admitted L. The detective was stirring, rising slightly, but not out of Raito's protective grasp. He was looking him in the eyes, even though they couldn't see each other. Time seemed to freeze for Raito. L's breath was playing dangerously near his own. So close he could almost feel the other male's skin. His heart was in his throat, hammering so hard he was amazed it could actually maintain that speed.
And then there was light.
Both L and Raito moved as one, leaping as if stung and heads snapping around to stare at the doorway, now illuminated by the electric lights of the hallway outside. Standing in the doorway, with an expression that was doing a slideshow of expressions of shock through the ages, was an elderly gentleman in a neat formal suit and glasses.
"Ryuuzaki?" The old man could only stare, eyes wide with enough horror to potentially incapacitate someone with a heart condition. Sadly, Watari did not appear to have said heart condition.
Oh perfect.
……….