AN: NEW! I've added a new chapter, which is now chapter 8. Enjoy!
September 13th 1973
"Oh, it's you lot."
Remus opened his eyes. Madam Pomfrey's briskly voice was carrying from the other side of the curtain surrounding his bed. He was almost sorry he had woken up until he heard another voice.
"This is urgent Ma'am," Sirius was saying, trying to sound solemn, a feature in which he failed miserably.
"It is a matter of the utmost importance," James was cutting it. His tone was not convincing either.
Still, what was it so important for them to go to the Hospital Wing? It could not be because of him, that was for sure.
They had agreed at the end of his first year that they would not go to pay him any visits while he was recovering from the full moon. His argument had been that it would be suspicious for anybody to see the three of them, without him, Remus, entering there once a month.
There was another much more powerful reason, but he had not shared it with them: he did not want James, Sirius and Peter to see him scarred and frail. He did not want them to pity him, just as much as he did not want him to fear him. The wounds by him inflicted could do both.
"We need to see Remus," Peter almost whispered.
So they were there so tee him, in fact. That was beyond odd. Something grave must have happened, but what?
"He's resting right now, as you very well know," Madam Pomfrey was saying. "Couldn't it wait until tomorrow?"
"It can't," James said urgently, "it's very important homework, he needs to know about."
"But…"
"I'm awake, Madam Pomfrey," Remus called.
Even though he could not see it, he could clearly picture the matron's disgruntled expression, but his curiosity was wining over. Besides, he would have gone to his dormitory later that evening, what harm could it do to be distracted a couple of hours earlier?
"Please?" Sirius and James were saying.
"All right then," Madam Pomfrey seemed to be struggling with mixed feelings.
Remus felt steps coming closer and somebody yanked his curtains open.
It was a very strange sight to see them in there, but more so the fact that the three of them were carrying heavy books and looking both smug and excited.
"What's-?"
"Homework," said James pointedly, his eyebrows bouncing up and down behind his spectacles.
"Homework? Couldn't it wait-?"
"Not at all," Sirius looked so scandalised it was absolutely unbelievable.
The matron seemed to have bought it though, for she entered her office.
"You have 5 minutes," she cried over her shoulder before shutting the door close.
"Will do, Ma'am," Sirius called back.
No sound came from the office.
Remus looked at it for a moment, and then at his three friends.
"What's happening…? This is not really about homework, is it?" he asked, frowning a little.
"We've got it!" Sirius whispered.
"It's brilliant!" Peter said.
"It's going to be grand!" James added.
Remus shook his head slowly. If they were coming all the way to tell him about the ultimate prank against the Slytherins he might ask Madam Pomfrey not to let them in again. Excited as he was to see them, he was also tired, and sore.
"What's going to be grand exactly?" he asked still unconvinced.
Sirius bowed his head; he was now at mere inches from him.
"We've figured out the way to be with you while you're… you know… hairy."
He dropped his voice so much it was almost impossible for Remus to hear the last part.
"You what?" he whispered back.
"During the full moon!" James whispered excitedly. "We've figured out a way to keep you company!"
Remus stared at his three friends. They all looked extremely pleased with themselves, bright-eyed and almost bouncing.
This was all wrong though.
"Next time you want to pull my wand try something more creative," he muttered, rolling into his side and giving them his back. "And more amusing too, mind you."
"Oi!" Sirius cried indignantly.
Remus shut his eyes but the gesture did not prevent him of hearing three pairs of steps sprinting around his bed.
"We're not pulling your wand, mate," James' voice was near him again.
Remus opened his eyes and it was no surprise to see the tree of them leaning over this other side of his bed again. He groaned audibly.
"This is Sirius," Sirius said.
"Old joke, mate," James told him.
"It never gets old to me," Sirius replied.
"We are serious, Remus, really," Peter said. "It's a great plan!"
Remus groaned again and put his hand over his eyes. He was too tired for this sort of nonsense but he figured out he would have to listen to it if he wanted to get rid of them for the time being in order to get some sleep.
"All right," he sat up straighter, "just for the sake of the argument, let's pretend I'm taking you seriously… no, Sirius, no pun intended."
Sirius closed his mouth.
"The thing is," James started before any of the others could add something, "D'you remember last week's Transfiguration class?"
"Which one?"
"The first one."
James sat on the side of his bed, the movement in the mattress made his side hurt. He had had two broken ribs this time, which were just healing. He suddenly saw a point in Madam Pomfrey's regular policy of no visitors.
"Yeah, I remember," Remus said through clenched teeth, trying not to show his pain.
"Remember old Minnie morphing in front of us?" Sirius prompted.
"Don't call her old Minnie, it's just too disturbing," James said as if talking to a toddler.
"Can't help it-"
"I remember," Remus cut across the banter, "she turned into a cat."
"Exactly!" James said, as if he had proven the most difficult of points.
Remus frowned again.
"It's a werewolf I turn into," he said, after looking around a lowering his voice even further for good measure, "not a cat."
"We're not talking about you, it's us!" Sirius said.
"We're gonna transform, see?" Peter added.
"No, I don't see," Remus was starting to panic.
They all looked so confident and yet so full of ideas that were starting to sound really crazy, he was starting to feel something dreadful was speeding their direction.
"We are going to become Animagi," James said, trying to make it sound as if he was talking about having treacle tart later.
"Werewolves are not dangerous to animals," Peter said, tapping one of the books he was carrying.
Remus looked at the books more carefully. He had first thought they had carried them into the Hospital Wing just to convince Madam Pomfrey they were actually going to talk about homework, but on closer inspection he realised some of them had the word "Animagus" in their titles.
Except the one Peter was carrying. It had no title at all.
"This one is about… well, werewolves," James explained, following Remus' gaze. "It says all that you need to know about them."
"I don't need to know anymore about them, thank you very much," Remus said with dignity.
"Remus, stop being so stupid, you're making it all more difficult to explain!" Sirius said. "These are not for you, but for us! We're gonna learn how to become Animagi in order to be with you on full moons."
And finally he understood. And even more, he realised they were absolutely serious.
"I gave you five minutes, it's been ten, off you go then!" Madam Pomfrey took them all out of their reveries.
"We'll talk about this tomorrow," Sirius said with a wink.
"Here, read this," James added, putting one of the books he was carrying on his bedside table.
And the three of them left, leaving Remus gawping at the closed door of the Hospital Wing.
Well, they could not be serious. And even if they were, they could not get through with it. The longer he thought about it the most convinced he was.
Madam Pomfrey had decided he should stay one extra night at the Hospital Wing and for once he had not protested. If she had found this attitude odd, she had refrained to say so. Remus was glad for he needed the extra time to think. He needed a bunch of solid well-thought arguments in order to take that stupid, stupid idea out of James', Sirius' and Peter's heads.
Turning painfully on the tall white-lined bed he tried to remember every single fact Professor MacGonagall had told them about Animagus. That they were illegal if unregistered, was the first idea he thought of. And of course, who on his right mind would want to register three underage untrained wizards as Animagus? Unless… and Remus much feared this was the case, they were planning on doing without anybody knowing it. Which just made it all even worse, because that meant they were planning on breaking Wizarding Law as well as a handful school rules.
Not to mention it was bound to be one heck of a piece of magic they would have to do. If there were so few Animagus in the Wizarding World there must be a reason for it and MacGonagall had told them exactly what reason it was: it was terribly difficult to do and extremely dangerous if it went wrong. It could even cause death.
So no, they could not do it.
He could not let them do it.
It was absolutely out of the question.
And yet…
James and Sirius were very cleaver and teachers had fail yet to come up with a spell or charm they could not do on their first try. Why would it be different with becoming Animagus. And they could help Peter of course, in case he could not do it on his own.
But no! One thing was to turn a spoon into a cup; that sort of Transfiguration was something far beyond any average wizard's level!
And what if they succeeded?
The though cut across Remus' reasons and for a moment he let his brain imagine the possible outcome. He transforming, three shapes near his wolfish self, three huge powerful animals he would not harm. And that would distract him and prevent him from inflicting harm to himself. Because they could do that, couldn't they?
He remembered very little about his transformations; sometimes there were nightmares full of pain, blood and hatred; sometimes just violent images popping into his inner eye from time to time. What if those were replaced by the image of three peaceful creatures just keeping him company?
What if was never to see those horrible images? What if by doing that the nightmares would stop altogether?
Remus reached for his wand.
"Lumos!" he whispered, thankful that this time he was the only occupant of the Hospital Wing.
He grabbed the book James had left on his bedside table and holding his wand with his teeth, Remus opened the old volume. Some pages were marked with little pieces of blue parchment. He recognised James handwriting on them, they seemed to have read most of the book.
It had little images in it; but plenty of explanations. There was far more about it that what MacGonagall had said them in class. The first thing that got his attention was that becoming an Animagus was not just doing some spell work or muttering an incantation. It was a long, difficult process that could take much time.
"The Wizard or Witch attempting to become an Animagus," Remus read, "would need to find his inner nature, which would manifest itself afterwards in the form of a particular animal. It takes great amounts of self-control and a thorough voyage inside one's own conscious in order to find that particular trait that one is willing to carry along during the transformation process.
"This one personal trait is most important, for it will be the only link between the wizard's or the witch's animal form with his or hers human self. Shall this part not be performed correctly, the process will certainly fail and the person would find him- or herself trapped in the in-between, no longer human but not even an animal."
Remus took the small piece of blue parchment perched on that precise page.
"Learn about ourselves," James had scribbled.
"We're geniuses!" Sirius had seemed to think was worthwhile to add.
Remus chuckled and then he felt some strange feeling grow inside him.
So they knew, they had realised it was terribly difficult and it could take much time, and yet… and yet they were willing to do it.
He grabbed the little piece of blue parchment between his index and his thumb and looked at it closely at wand light.
He could imagine the scene. The three of them, his noses buried in books, some of them they might have had to smuggle out of the restricted section using the Invisibility Cloak from James' father. James and Sirius would discuss the matter and Peter would try to feebly object, maybe scared a little, but a heartbeat later he would support they every idea and even produce some of his own. They would discuss possibilities and calculate timings… and eagerly wait for the full moon to pass in order to rush into the Hospital Wing and tell him…
Remus' heart seemed to be swelling, and at the same time dread was overcoming him.
What if something went wrong? What if he hurt one of them?
It would be his, Remus' fault.
But then… they were so eager to do it. They were researching it, they were talented, all of them could do it.
And he… he was alone. And he should not be. Not always. Because it was unfair and it seemed that there was a way after all, not a cure to his lycanthropy, not a strange potion or an incantation. It was just changing his situation a little bit; trying to make it slightly less awful.
He could not recall if he had slept at all. As soon as the morning light entered the large windows he stood up, took out his bandages and put his school robes on. In no time at all he was entering the Great Hall.
The three of them were there, even if it was really early. They had been waiting for him, it was plain.
"All right," Remus said, looking at each pair of eyes. "Let's do it."