Here it is everyone! The conclusion of the Gala, and the big reveal. Like I said before, Emily and I have worked really hard on this chapter and I hope you enjoy it and don't hate us too much after this! ;-)
WARNINGS: #lotsofsizzle #lotsofangst #yourewelcome #keephopealive #thanksEmily
Both realizations came crashing down at the same time as the crowd stood and cheered. Jack glued to his chair, unable to feel his legs. He slowly ambled to his feet and clapped, his eyes on Elizabeth as she continued to smile, like the world hadn't been just ripped out from under her like it had been from him.
I need air. I've got to get out of here. He radioed Charles. "Can you cover me for the rest of the night?"
"Sure. Everything okay Chief?" Charles pursed his lips. He didn't know. Son-of-a... How did he NOT know?!
"Yes, I've just had something come up and I need to leave. I'll check in tomorrow." He swallowed hard and tapped William on the shoulder, turning his receiver off and tucking his gear into his pocket.
"Congratulations Sir. She did a wonderful job tonight. I'm afraid I just got a call and my son isn't feeling well and I need to leave. Charles is going to take over my post, but you are well-staffed tonight and should be fine. I'm only a phone call away if I'm needed."
"Oh no, Jack. Is he okay? Take all the time you need. I know how it goes with little ones. Our granddaughters seem to catch a new bug every other week. Please let us know if you need anything. Go do what you need to do. We'll be fine."
Elizabeth watched from the stage as Jack made a hasty exit. She hurried to her Dad's table as soon as she could break away from the pack. She was soon making her own swift exit after Jack.
William watched his daughter as she ran out the door in the $10,000 gown. The pieces quickly started falling into place as Charles approached. Jack. Her 'friend' with a little boy. The crib. The toys. It had been her that Jack was going to lunch with. It was Jack that was cooking her dinner. She was more than just his friend at the Center.
His daughter had been the one to cuddle Jack's son. The little one that she often spoke of, shared stories about and photographed. The little boy with the blonde curls is Jack's son. My Jack. My Elizabeth.
He blinked his eyes in stunned surprise and looked over at Charles, who was stone-faced. "He didn't know she was mine, did he?"
"No Sir. I don't believe he did."
"Well, this is a mess."
"Yes Sir, it is," Charles agreed. "But Jack will take care of it. I've known him since we were in College and he always does the right thing. Always. You can count on it. He's had a hard life, but he's a good man."
She saw him outside in the darkness, leaning on the side of his truck, arms folded. Then pacing. Then leaning again.
"Jack! Hey! I wondered where you went. What's up? My Dad said that you were leaving because your son was sick. Is Luke okay?" Elizabeth was approaching quickly, clutching the ridiculous feather skirt in her hands, trying not to get it dirty.
"Luke is fine. I just needed to get out of there and think for a minute."
"Okay? About what?" she frowned, not understanding the tone of his voice.
"Seriously? Your Dad is my boss!" His eyes penetrated hers, like a laser, burning her. "I'm going home. Goodnight Elizabeth. I hope you have a nice time."
She looked at him like he had three heads and spoke slowly. "Yeesss? Of course he's your boss. He's everyone here's boss. But why are you leaving? Is something wrong?"
"Yes."
Her brows were furrowed. "WHAT is going on?! I don't understand. What happened? You looked like you were having a nice time."
Jack shifted his weight back and forth, from one foot to another, nervously, looking around. "I don't want to talk about this here."
Elizabeth looked around. "Talk about what? And why not?"
"We can't be together. I'm going home."
She exhaled forcefully, fearful. "Why do I feel like you're leaving me? What is wrong? We need to talk about this." Tears were forming.
He sighed long and hard, his hands rubbing up and down his face. "There's not much to talk about. We can't be together."
Her hands dropped to her sides. "Are you breaking up with me?" Her face was broken and confused. "What is happening?"
"We can't do this here! It's too risky!" he raised his voice and then quieted again. He knew he owed her an explanation, but right now he wasn't sure if he could. "You're in a $10,000 gown and I'm in a $3,000 suit. And you're Elizabeth Thatcher. Just go back in and enjoy your evening." His words were quiet, yet biting. His eyes were desperate and sad.
Elizabeth trembled and shrank at his terse response. "Seriously? No... I need… I need you to tell me what's going on. I'm coming with you." She looked back towards the hotel lobby. "Let me go get my things and I'll be right back out. Will you wait for me?"
Seeing her cower in front of him… pieces of him were falling away quickly. He couldn't tell her no. On so many levels. He sighed and blinked back threatening ears. "Yes. I'll wait for you."
She stepped into him to kiss his cheek and he pushed her away. "We can't."
She pulled back shocked, hurt and defeated. What in the world is happening? She searched his eyes and found nothing but grief and confusion. He looked so shattered.
Pulling up the dress again, she ran back inside to the dressing room and grabbed her things. She ran back to their table and kissed her Dad's cheek and told him she was leaving. "Tell Julie I'll see her tomorrow night at my house. And tell them that I'll return the dress Monday."
"Where are you going Sweetheart? Are you okay?"
She always hated when he asked her that. For her entire life. Any time he asked, she was never okay. And the tears always came. "I don't know Daddy. I've gotta go."
The tears were falling and she couldn't figure out why. An overwhelming sadness was consuming her. Her sky was falling.
Jack was idling right in front of her car when she returned. He didn't roll down the window, he didn't speak, nothing. He was just waiting for her like he said he would.
Was she wiping her face? God, she's crying. He wanted to go to her so badly, but he couldn't risk her Father's safety. Her own safety. What if someone saw them? He felt tears stinging his eyes too and blinked them back ferociously. God, why are you letting this happen to me? Again?
Elizabeth followed him through the city, close to his bumper. His license plate now mocking her. She wanted to hear his voice, but she didn't want him to hear her crying. And she was afraid of what was going to come out of his mouth. What is happening? I don't understand. What did I do wrong? Her mind was running through the whole night, replaying it over and over.
Jack pulled into his garage and she pulled in behind him. He got out and opened the other bay and directed her to pull into it. No one can know that she's here. He was glad that she had invited him to park in her garage now and not on the street. And that they'd never been on a real date in public. Except for their lunch. And the zoo. But there was the matter of the Center. I don't think anyone besides Florence knows what I actually do and she's contractually prohibited from revealing anything.
He closed the garage doors, leaving them in the dim light inside the garage. He heard her get out and close her door. Heels clanking the cement. Feathers swishing. He remembered how she looked when he saw her for the first time earlier, how her body had felt in his hands through the tight fabric and his heart was already racing. But I can't. I can't do this.
He walked up into the house and she followed, her breath caught in her chest. He turned back to help her up the 2 steps. One hand grabbed the skirt and one hand fit perfectly inside his. The shock of his hot, moist skin electrified her.
The house was dark and quiet. He didn't turn the lights on because he couldn't see her this close. Not in that. He leaned on the counter and couldn't figure out what to do with his hands to keep himself from putting them on her like he wanted to. They were finally alone and he couldn't even...
She was breathing hard, seeing him in his suit, his tie hanging loose around his neck, the top buttons unbuttoned, his hair disheveled from his frustration. She went to him, wanting him to lay her down right there and tell her everything was going to be okay. She reached for him.
He wanted so desperately to take her hand. To take her. All of her. He waved her off. "We can't be together, Elizabeth."
The words were like a wasp stinging her hard and quickly. Leaving the poison to surge through her veins and make her whole body ache. "Why? What… what did I do?" The tears were falling down her cheeks again as she shook her head. "I'm sorry. For whatever I did. I don't even know, but I'm sorry." She was desperate. Her lower lip quivered.
"Elizabeth, don't cry." He pulled his hands out of his pockets and wrapped them around her. He couldn't not comfort her. "You didn't do anything. Your Dad is my boss."
"So what?" She pulled back slightly, sniffing. "My Dad is the boss, either directly or indirectly, of about a quarter of the people in this city!"
Wait. Wait a minute. She was confused. She stepped away from him, folding her arms.
Her eyes were dark and piercing. "Wait. So you didn't know who I was this whole time?"
Jack's gaze dropped to the floor. He was embarrassed and hurt and humiliated and angry at the world. At the injustice. "No. I didn't know. I didn't realize that you were the middle daughter. I thought she, you, were younger and still in undergrad. Not a Graduate Student volunteering at the ECC. I just thought you worked there. I didn't know that your last name was Thatcher." He rubbed his hand down his face in defeat.
"How did you not know that?"
"No one told me. Not you, not anyone. And it's not on your nametag. Believe me, I tried to figure it out after you invited me over."
Her mouth dropped open at a new realization and her body broke into a cold sweat. The hurt taking deep root and quickly turning to anger. She slid further down the counter away from him. "So you were okay with kissing me and sleeping with me at my house when you didn't know my last name, but now that you know it, you don't want me anymore? Because of my Dad? You're just like all the rest of them."
Her words were like fangs ripping into him. Yet he continued to take steps closer to her. Wanting her. His body in control. "I do want you. So badly, I do. Elizabeth. I'm not like the rest of them. I swear."
"Then why does it matter so much? It's not like you report directly to him or something ridiculous!" Her arms still crossed tightly over her chest, the tight dress pushing her breasts up even more with each fiery breath.
He tried to peel his eyes off of her. His body stepped forward to her again despite his brain screaming at him to stay back. His hands rubbed down her arms. "But he is Elizabeth. William Thatcher IS my boss. I DO report directly to him."
"I don't… I don't understand." She pulled out of his grasp.
He pulled at his hair in exasperation, clutching for any sort of control, some clarity. He felt embarrassed. Ashamed. Disgusted with himself and his ineptness. How did I miss this? It's so obvious. And the most crushing realization washed over him.
"Dammit, I'm in love with my boss' daughter!" His mouth… his brain… they were still not in sync. His hands dropped over his eyes. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't have said that. Not here. Not now. I'm so sorry." He couldn't even look her in the eye. The salt burned his eyes. He swallowed the pain and leaned back on the counter beside her.
Tears were falling down her cheeks steadily now; the hurt and anger were flooding out. Her words, fast and furious, pierced through the charged air. "What? What do you regret?" Her hands out in front of her, grasping for the truth. "That you let me in? That you're in love with me and I'm in love with you too? You regret all of that because of my Dad? Why does it matter?" she yelled. "Why does it matter?"
He pulled her into his chest, her arms pushing and fuming. They were chest to chest now. She wanted answers. He wanted her. And hearing her words just fueled his desire.
His skin had a sheen of sweat and his body was warm. His chest firm and his arms strong around her. Her breaths were quick and she was getting light-headed from the way he smelled. Like Jack. Like her. He calmed her. Just holding her. His cheek against hers. His whisper in her ear. "It's not that simple, Elizabeth."
She took a deep, shaky breath. "But you said you work in security? He doesn't oversee that."
He pulled her back so he could look into her eyes. His face inches from hers, his voice low and soft, but not in the good way. "I am the Captain of his security detail. It's my job to keep your dad alive. And you… you are a massive conflict of interest."
Her face contorted. "What?! My Dad doesn't have a security detail. He doesn't need one! Everyone loves my dad!"
Jack laid out the truth. "William Thatcher is a very prominent, successful businessman who has accumulated massive wealth and who holds a substantial amount of power over many sectors. Like Monique pointed out tonight, both are far-reaching. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in this world, Elizabeth, in this city, out to seek and destroy, whether or not it's deserved. It is my job to be invisible. To be in the shadows taking care of those threats before he even knows about them. Long before you know about them."
He took a deep breath. "Me being with you not only puts him at risk, but also you, me and Luke. The public cannot know who I am or what I do. No one can know who I am or what I do. It would prevent me from being able to do my job. My identity as your Dad's detail cannot be compromised. It creates a kink in the armor. In the entire system. He'd be a sitting duck. I know too much."
She staggered back. Needing a moment. Needing a drink. Needing a valium. "So Charles isn't my Dad's driver is he?"
He reached for two glasses and began pouring each of them a glass of wine. "No. He's one of my men. One of my best men. I've known him for a long time."
"And Matt and Scott that also drive him sometimes?" She took the glass from his hand, noticing his fingers lingering on hers. Her head was throbbing and she needed space. She walked to the windows facing the back yard.
"Also mine. As are the older guy that cleans his office and his personal assistant, James. All members of my team. There are 6 or 8 of us spread out through the building on any given day."
She gulped her wine. Her world was nothing like she thought it was. One or the other of those guys have even been with our family for the holidays for the past few years! Her Dad always had some story about them having to be away from their own family and wanting them to enjoy the festivities with them. And they had. They had become like family. She had never been the wiser.
It was all a lie.
He watched as she downed the glass and stared out the window. Her silhouette like a bride on her wedding day. The full gown hiding her slender, athletic body underneath. Her hair pinned up revealing the porcelain skin of her back. He kept his hips glued to the countertop, feeling the ache inside him not quenched by the wine like he had hoped. Not quenched by the revealed truth.
"Do they have families?"
"A couple of them do. But like I said, we stay out of the pictures and out of the media. It's not as hard to do when you're not dating his daughter."
Her breath fogged up the window. Her voice quiet as another tear slipped down her cheek. Her lip shaking. "Well I guess you don't have to worry about it now."
He could see her reflection in the window as she wiped her cheek quickly and her arms hugged around her waist. Her shoulders drooping.
His heart was breaking into a million pieces. Her heart was breaking into a million pieces.
She turned suddenly and sniffed, lifting the dress so she could walk. She wiped her eyes again and sighed. "I should just go. Being around you just makes it harder for me."
She started to walk past him and he grabbed her arm gently. He wasn't ready to let her go just yet. He couldn't. His hug swallowed her and she could feel his sorrow. His arms wrapping all around her, her cheek on his chest. She was soaking his shirt. Her sobs released.
He licked his lips and swallowed. I can't believe I'm doing this. It isn't right. I need to let her go.
She was trying to regain control of her breathing. Her diaphragm spasming from trying not to cry. I should go. But I don't want to. I don't ever want to.
They both just needed a little more time together. Just them.
One strong hand cupped her face and he felt her breathing soften. His undemanding lips covered hers and the world felt right again. He searched her mouth and just found himself wanting more of her, unable to pull himself out of her. Needing her to make him whole again. His eyelashes brushing her cheeks and their noses grazing each other's.
She didn't want anyone else. His hands grazed down her bare back. Her fingers unbuttoning his shirt. Him untying the sash. Things hadn't changed in his heart. In her heart. The world had just gotten muddier.
"You were killing me tonight. You are breathtaking, just like I imagined you would be in a dress like this."
His words continued to surprise her tonight. He's thought about me marrying me? Her smile brushed against his, her cheeks still red and damp but her eyes navy and dark.
They knew they shouldn't. They were breaking every rule. But they couldn't live without it. At least once. They couldn't be left wondering.
And then she couldn't think anymore because his warm mouth was on her lips. Hard, desperate and reaching for the future that was no more. Her wet tears fell on his cheeks as she wrapped her arms around him, needing nothing more than his body against hers.
He felt her hurt, her fear, and her love all in one sweep of his tongue in her mouth. It was enough to send him over the edge and yet the edge was still so far from them. He was afraid of falling down into the abyss because she wouldn't be there to pull him out and he would be lost forever. He grabbed at the back of her dress, needing to find the zipper to set her free from the beauty that it represented and the loss that it now defined.
Her feet were taken out from under her and suddenly she felt his strong arms lifting her. He couldn't stop kissing her, feeling her pulse against his own as their hearts beat rapidly under the strain and excitement of letting themselves finally let go and give in.
The sheets were cold under her as she watched him kick off his shoes and shed his suit coat. It was quickly forgotten on the floor as he came to her. She held her breath as his eyes sparkled under the dim orange light which illuminated the green with fiery flecks. She released her breath when he kissed her again, slowly, leading her head down to the bed as he hovered over her. His strong body guarding her while he begged his own mind to slow down so he could remember every second of this.
The kisses were light at first and then when she opened her lips enough to let him enter her mouth, he took advantage, finding her tongue and then her teeth, even biting the inside of her bottom lip, marking her and making her body shiver.
She reached for the buttons of his shirt, pulling at them, wanting the shirt off and the body closer as he dragged his mouth along her jawline and then on her neck. She moved her hands to his hair where she pulled on the short strands begging for more and scared that he would leave her.
There wasn't anything he wanted more than to make love to her and as he nipped at her neck, he silently knew that he was being selfish. For the first time really in his entire life, he had found someone that completed him, made him better, and challenged him… and he had to leave her behind because of who they were and who they belonged to. He had cursed God, yelled and screamed all the way home because no one should endure such a painful ending and yet he knew he should be grateful for the beautiful things that God had given him.
His voice was low against her neck. "I'm not ready to leave you. Not yet."
She heard his voice from behind the ache in her chest, her mind bursting with thoughts of having him and the pain of losing him. The tears were dried up but the wound lingered as she didn't want to think about what would happen tomorrow because it wasn't tomorrow. Not yet.
Her voice was dark and pleading as she closed her eyes, absorbing him into her skin. "Then don't. Please."
He moved up to kiss her again, as one hand cupped her face, the other bracing him up on the bed. She couldn't move and felt trapped in the gorgeous cocoon of white feathers as they exchanged deep, intense, dark kisses, not leaving any space to question or to breathe.
He lifted her up, needing her out of the dress so he could drink her in, take her, love her and never let go until the sun was coming up from the mountains. He couldn't keep her, but right now she was here with him, and he was going to hold her till his arms couldn't any more.
The zipper came easily to him as he reached around and pulled it down, breathless and panting from the want and from the fear. He had needed her since he met her, and he was so scared that he would disappoint her or make her regret everything.
She watched his eyes as he pulled down the dress and she was exposed, half and then fully. The feathers trickled to the floor in a puddle and he was so delicate, so sweet. She felt the tears sting again because she didn't want him to leave her and yet he would. He melted as the tears rolled and he reached up to sweep them away, but he knew he couldn't fix what was so badly broken.
They touched each other, with fingertips, fingers and palms, down arms, chest and legs. He traced his lips across her velvety skin, over the curves of her body while she kissed his shoulder, running her hands along the muscles in each arm and then his chest, stopping at a small scar.
He lowered her onto the pillows, brushed her hair back to savor her beautiful face and closed in, slowly and then fast because he had to feel it all at once. She lifted her head to him because it was everything that he was there, giving her what she needed.
The wanting had always been a wish but the need was essential. And he was essential to her life and not just some chapter in her story. She had enough awareness to know he was her story, he was her plan, and she couldn't just let him go without letting him know that.
He moved and she followed as he held onto her. He meant it that he wasn't going to let her go and she felt his strong arms, willing his body to wait for her because the only way he wanted this to end was with them owning each other. He never wanted her to be alone.
Deep and dark, they plunged into the night, as the moon rose high. Their world was coming apart at the seams from the unexplainable, pieces of them breaking into a thousand little ones, slivers of light and dark getting thrown out into the charged air to trickle back down around them.
She held him, her hands going to his hair, brushing back the strands, damp and messy while she tried to keep herself from sinking deeper into him, afraid to lose any more of herself to him. But if truth be told, she was already there. And she had been there for a while.
Their bodies quieted, the air settled and she was crushed by something so perfect, so private and so personal. The broken aftermath. There was no happiness or belief that this could be more. She knew it couldn't be. She couldn't ask him to choose her over Luke's safety, Luke's well-being. This was the end of the story.
He loved her too much. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to be happy with him, forever. But he couldn't have her. He couldn't do this to her. He had to break it off. He needed this job. He needed to keep Luke safe. Keep Mr. Thatcher and his whole family safe. Including Elizabeth. This was for the best.
For everyone. But me.
He rolled off of her. She pulled the sheet up over herself, knowing what this meant. He stood and got her some clothes from his dresser. She accepted them shyly and slipped out of her heels.
The smell of him on the clothes made her want to stop breathing.
The site of her in his clothes always made his heart skip beats.
He seized her again, pressed her against the wall and wrapped his arms around her waist. Just one more kiss. The thin t-shirt a savior as he could feel her skin so close, her lips on fire, her tongue wet and hot with his. He moaned against her lips, the sand in the hourglass falling quickly until the moment she'd leave him forever. They had seconds, not minutes. It wasn't enough time.
She broke from him sorrowfully and walked to the garage, carrying her shoes in her fingers and the dress over her arm. "Tell Luke goodbye for me."
I'm bracing myself for the hate mail! lol Keep the faith though. There's always a rainbow... right? Your reviews are what keep us inspired to write. Who knows, one of your ideas just might end up in the story!