Calvin the Bus Driver-Written by NMMacc18 and JaJaLoo

Plot: After Calvin's bus driver has to step out for a moment on the way to school. Calvin takes over driving the bus and wreaks havoc.

It was another ordinary morning at Calvin's house.

"ARRGHHH! I'M GOING TO MISS IT! I'M GOING TO MISS THE BUS!" Calvin yelled as he frantically tried to get his stuff for school together.

And yes, this is ordinary.

"You wouldn't have to worry about this stuff you know if you were actually organized in the morning." Hobbes remarked.

"Your not helping furball." Calvin said annoyed as he tried to grab some of his stuff.

"Calvin hurry up! The bus is going to be here!" Calvin's Mom yelled from downstairs.

"I'm trying to!" Calvin said as he started to run downstairs, but then tripped and fell down them.

"Ugh..." Calvin said groaning.

Calvin's Mom then threw Calvin out to the bus stop, which is right in front of the house pretty much if you remember from the comic strip.

"What happened Calvin?" Susie asked.

"I was hurrying to get out here so I wouldn't miss the bus, but someone keeps putting my stuff for school in various places and makes it hard to find!" Calvin said annoyed.

"I don't think your stuff is being replaced, its just you being disorganized." Susie said rolling her eyes.

"Oh please, you sound just like Hobbes." Calvin said dismissing Susie's statement.

"Well, he's probably right." Susie said.

"Never! I'm always right! No matter what!" Calvin began to say, but then the bus pulled up.

"Aww man, I didn't get to finish my rant." Calvin said as he and Susie got on the bus, and the bus began moving again.

"Are you ready to present your project today?" Susie asked to Calvin.

"What project?" Calvin said confused.

"You forgot about the science project?!"

"What? Me? Heck no. I collected all 50 bugs back when we started it!"

"No you idiot! That was years ago! We had to research and give examples of the scientific method!"

As soon as Susie said that, Calvin knew exactly what she was talking about.

"OH NO! I COMPLETELY FORGOT!" Calvin said panicked.

"You always forget! Have you not been paying attention in class at all?! Your going to flunk out of school at the rate your going here!" Susie said annoyed.

"OH MAN OH MAN! WORMWOOD'S GONNA KILL ME!" Calvin said panicked.

"Well it's your own fault!"

"YOUR NOT HELPING!"

Some of the kids sitting around Calvin and Susie heard their argument, but the Bus Driver didn't hear any of it, as he was feeling sick.

"Ugh, my stomach hurts...I really shouldn't of eaten that breakfast burrito. Ugh..." He grumbled as he drove on. Then, he saw a porta potty in the distance.

"Ugh, I need to stop." The bus driver said as he stopped the bus and grabbed the loudspeaker.

"Attention boys and girls, I need to clear out my body quickly. Don't worry, we're way ahead of schedule so we shouldn't be late to school." He said into the loudspeaker and then ran off into the porta potty.

Meanwhile, Calvin was paying no attention as he was still in a panicked mood.

"OH MAN OH MAN OH MA-Hey where did the bus driver go?" Calvin said as he realized there was nobody in the drivers' seat.

"Your oblivious, he needed to use the bathroom." Susie said annoyed.

"Oh really?" Calvin said, grinning evilly.

Calvin then snuck up to the drivers' seat, and nobody noticed somehow.

"Well, the only way to not have to admit I didn't do my project, is to simply drive off and not go to school. Plus, this will help me get my drivers' license 10 years early! That will be a blast!" Calvin said as he shut the bus doors.

"Hey! Your not the bus driver." A kid yelled.

"Well I am now, so get used to it!" Calvin shot back.

"CALVIN! You can't drive!"

"Shut up Susie, I can too."

"The Wagon Derby..."

"Shut up Susie, nobody cares what girls think." Calvin said as he finished tying to things to his shoes that allowed him to reach the pedals, and slammed on the gas.

"WOOHOO! THIS IS THE LIFE!" Calvin said as the bus began to speed up more and more with everyone on the bus screaming.

About a minute later, the bus driver came back out from the porta potty.

"Ahh, that felt go-WHAT THE?! WHERE'S THE BUS?!" The bus driver said as he got out of the porta potty and looked around. He then grabbed his cell phone and called 911.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"I don't know what just happened, but my bus, full of children, just vanished! Someone stole it I think!"

"Do you happen to remember the plate number?"

"Uh, yes it was BW 1985 CH"

"Okay, we'll track it and see if we can find it."

"Okay, thank you so much!" The bus driver said before hanging up. He then saw another bus blow buy him.

"HEY WAIT! WAIT! I NEED TO GET TO BILL WATTERSON ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! WAIT!" He said as he tried to catch up with the bus.

Meanwhile, a police officer was sitting in his car reading the newspaper and drinking some coffee, when suddenly he saw the school bus Calvin was driving zoom by him."

"WHOA! I don't know what the speed limit is around here, but I know for sure that was way over the limit!" The officer said as he threw all his stuff to the back of his car and began to chase after it full throttle.

"Oh great..." Calvin said as he heard the police sirens.

"Calvin, just stop it! Your going to kill someone with your lunatic driving!" Susie yelled.

"Shessh Susie, your sounding like Hobbes even more day after day..." Calvin said rolling his eyes.

"WELL HE'S RIGHT!" Susie snapped back.

Meanwhile in Principal Spittle's office...

"Ahh, I enjoy the peace and quiet in the mornings, I don't know why, but I feel like that today will be a stress-free day, no problems, no chaos from Calvin, ahhh..." Principal Spittle said as he relaxed at his desk.

But unfortunately, he was soon to get a rude awakening.

RING!

Miss Wormwood walked into her classroom, prepared to start class.

"Good Morn-" She began before noticing that only four students were in the classroom.

"Where is everybody?! Is the bus running late?" She asked the students that were in the classroom.

"I dunno. I was walking to school this morning, and then I saw a bus goin' way faster than it should, I caught a look of the driver, and it seemed to look like the twinky." Moe said speaking up.

"You mean Calvin?"

"Yeah. I don't know any other twinkies that have blonde spiky hair." Moe said.

"Five more years until retirement, five more years until retirement..." Miss Wormwood thought to herself as she walked to Principal Spittle's office.

Meanwhile, Principal Spittle was being bombarded by teachers, who were fuming.

"How is the bus this late?!" One teacher said.

"My students have a test they need to start!" Another one said.

"I told the school board we need a new bus system!" A third one said.

"Okay, I know, look please..." Principal Spittle began to say.

"HOLD UP!"

Everyone looked at Miss Wormwood.

"Is this important, because I have a situation on my hands right now..." Principal Spittle said.

"I think we know who the driver of the hijacked bus is..."

(Commercial Break)

"The bus was hijaked?! HOW?!" Principal Spittle said in shock.

"Well... Moe told me he was walking to school and saw a bus going extremely fast. He said the driver looked like Calvin..." Miss Wormwood said sighing.

"Who's HE?" The second teacher asked.

"Calvin, that name sounds familiar..." The first teacher said.

"Oh yeah! The Noodle Incident Kid!" The third teacher remarked.

Principal Spittle meanwhile, was fuming at his desk, and his coffee cup broke.

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

The whole school heard Principal Spittle's scream.

"I knew it was twinky behind the wheel." Moe said proud of himself.

Meanwhile at Calvin's House...

Calvin's Mom was watching her daily soap opera, when suddenly a breaking news report came on.

"Of course, right during my soaps..." Calvin's Mom said annoyed.

"We interrupt your current program for a breaking news report. A school bus on its way to Bill Watterson Elementary School this morning was taken over when the bus driver had to leave the bus for the moment. The bus is currently being chased by Chagrin Falls and Ohio State Police. Authorities and witnesses say the apparent driver of the bus currently is a six-year old boy with spiky blonde hair named Calvin."

Calvin's Mom jaw dropped when she saw Calvin's yearbook photo being shown, which was quite silly looking by the way.

RING!

"Hello, are you a parent of Calvin?"

"Yes, I already saw the news report. I'll be over in a few..." Calvin's Mom said sighing.

Meanwhile on the bus...

"Attention, icky girls and gentlemen, yes, you, Susie, we're going to stop at McDonald's for free food for myself only. And by free, I'll use the bus driver's credit card!" Calvin said proudly over the loudspeaker.

"That's forgery, Calvin!" Susie yelled out.

"Shut up, Susie, nobody cares about you!" Calvin yelled back. Susie rolled her eyes.

"Oh, wait, scratch that. We're heading to the downtown Starbucks. I want an Iced Lemon Pound Cake." Calvin said on the loudspeaker.

"WE'VE BEEN ALL OVER CHAGRIN FALLS! MAYBE EVEN MOST OF OHIO! Can we please go to school now?" A kid yelled out.

"Absolutely not! I'm the bus driver, so we play by my rules!" Calvin yelled back.

"THERE'S LIKE TEN SQUAD CARS CHASING US!" Susie yelled.

"Wait, what?" Calvin said as he looked in his rear view mirror to see several squad cars coming after the bus.

"Darn it! I thought I had lost them hours ago!" Calvin said as he slammed on the gas.

"JUST SURRENDER CALVIN!"

"NEVER! CALVIN THE BOLD NEVER ADMITS DEFEAT!" Calvin yelled out, and began to go even faster.

Calvin then swerved onto a street he recognized. Most of the kids on the bus knew that they somehow had gotten back on the route the bus takes to school, but Calvin had no clue (Because we all know he's oblivious to stuff like that.) and continued to go as fast as the bus would take him.

"LOOK OUT!" Susie yelled.

"For what?" Calvin asked.

"The Speed Trap!"

"He'll never get past this." The Police Chief said grinning as the bus came into view.

But Calvin thought quickly, and went off the road, nearly hitting a tree to avoid it.

"I hate people who exploit any loophole they can find..." The Police Chief grumbled as he got in his car and joined the chase.

"Hey look! There's our school!" A kid yelled.

"Wha-" Calvin began to say and then realized he was going to crash into the school's sign, and quickly swerved to avoid it, and then continued to drive like a maniac, nearly crashing into the school, but then, he came across a police barricade.

"JUST STOP CALVIN!" Susie yelled.

"NEVER!" Calvin yelled as he swerved to avoid the barricade, but he hit one of the police cars, and ran over another speed bump that had been set up behind the police barricade.

"NO! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME!" Calvin yelled panicking as the Police Chief busted in the bus.

"OK, who's the driver here?" The Police Chief asked, but then grabbed Calvin as he tried to escape, and everyone pointed at Calvin.

"Listen kid. Your going to give me the controls. I'll drive this bus to school, while your going to be driving back to school in one of our squad cars. When we get there, we will have a long talk with your parents and principal about this." The Police Chief said as he dragged Calvin off the bus and into a police car."

"I WAS FRAMED! I WAS SET UP! MY DUPLICATE DID IT! I'LL TAKE THIS TO THE SUPREME COURT! OR JUDGE JUDY! YOU HAVE NO PROOF! THEY'RE ALL LIARS!" Calvin yelled as he was put in the back of the car.

Soon, the bus arrived back at school, along with a couple of squad cars. Principal Spittle was standing outside, tapping his foot.

"Well, well, well. There's the very very VERY late bus. Calvin. See me in my office. You're parents are there." Principal Spittle said as the police officer led Calvin inside.

Later...

"I hope Calvin doesn't mind if I draw a mustache on the Hulk..." Hobbes said as he drew mustaches on Calvin's comic books.

Calvin barged in, fuming.

"Put that comic down. I need to complain about what happened." Calvin said annoyed.

"I really don't want to know about what happened..." Hobbes said sighing.

"Well, first I took over driving the bus, the bus driver got really mad and called the cops, and I was enjoying a nice drive all over Chagrin Falls and probably a good chunk of Ohio until the stupid cops stopped me." Calvin said annoyed.

"That's why you're home at 1:00?" Hobbes asked.

"Yeah. I got suspended from the bus for the rest of the year. Good news is, I won't have to wake up early to catch the bus!" Calvin said happily.

Hobbes groaned, knowing that even the smallest of positives for Calvin were victories to him, no matter what happened and what came out of it.

THE END

Cast:

Calvin: Tom Kenny

Hobbes/News Anchor: Owen Wilson

Mom/Teacher 1: Scarlett Johansson

Susie/Teacher 2: Jennifer Lawrence

Moe: Jeremy Irons

Miss Wormwood/Teacher 3: Kathryn Hahn

Principal Spittle: Tom Cruise

Special Guest Stars:

The Bus Driver: Sean Penn

911 Operator: Bill Murray

The Police Officer: Kevin James

The Police Chief: Bradley Cooper

Next Episode: 6A: Dinner With Moe-Calvin is forced to have dinner at Moe's house, and ends up having to fight his mad scientist father.